• Texas gal Renée Zellweger will spend the holidays in Philadelphia with Bradley Cooper's parents. Sounds like the plot of a romcom. But it's real! [NY Daily News]

• Award season has begun! Precious star Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe and Hilary Swank both won Hollywood Awards (given by the Hollywood Film Festival) last night. [AP]
• The father of one of the teenaged girls arrested in the Lindsay Lohan burglary case says that his daughter "was in the wrong place at the wrong time, associating with the wrong people." [People]
• In this story about the teen burglars, attorney Blair Berk, who represents some of the victims, blames "paparazzi shots and magazine coverage" for "increasingly prying into the private homes, schools and personal possessions of stars. Another lawyer says: "It would be fun to do capers. It was all about fun. It was one of those cases of you get bored, and it was something to do with a little technology." The young women arrested were classmates at Indian Hills High School, which is "set atop a leafy incline in an upscale neighborhood" where there are BMWs and Audis parked in the student lot, and nearby roads have horse trails for equestrians. Seriously, people: This is a screenplay waiting to happen. [LA Times]
• Congrats to Jennifer Esposito and tennis player Mark Philippoussis, who are engaged. Did you know they were dating? [People]
• BREAKING: Madonna planted a tree. [NY Daily News]
• Hugh Jackman's four-year-old daughter wants to be a chocolate chip muffin for Halloween. His nine-year-old son wants to be Al Capone. And Hugh? "I'm going as James Bond," he says. [NY Magazine]
• Sources say Balloon Mom Mayumi Heene may have confessed to the hoax to keep her children from being taken away from her, or to spare them from having to testify against her husband. [CBS News]
• The Balloon Boy case has been handed to the District Attorney's Office, and the DA has requested more information before making a charging decision. [TMZ]
• Heartbreaking: La Toya Jackson says that Paris Jackson is dealing well with her father's death ("Paris thinks and talks about her father all the time… She's doing very well, writes a lot and she wears his shirts every day. They still smell of him and it helps her feel close to him."), but Prince Jackson "just doesn't want to speak about it" and Blanket is "just a very sad little boy" who cries and cries. Luckily, La Toya says, "They all go to therapy." [MSNBC via Daily Mirror]
• The woman accused of stalking Justin Timberlake has already been served with a restraining order from Metallica and was sentenced to a year in prison for violating a court order to stay away from Axl Rose. [TMZ]
• Henry Ian Cusick, aka Desmond on Lost, has settled a sexual harassment suit with a former production staffer whom he allegedly grabbed and touched inappropriately. [TMZ]
• Bill Cosby was honored with the 12th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor last night, and stars like Phylicia Rashad, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Jerry Seinfeld, Sinbad, Chris Rock and Willie Nelson were in attendance. [USA Today]
• Suzanne Somers has a new book in which she reveals she was misdiagnosed with "full-body cancer." Her book promotes alternative medicine and avoiding chemotherapy; she says: "It's easier to try the traditional route and then, if it fails, go to the alternatives, but often it can be too late. My friend Farrah Fawcett— would she have made it if she had gone alternative first? There is no way of knowing." [NY Daily News]
• Egads. The Anna Nicole Smith trial is still going on. An expert psychiatrist has testified that Anna was an addict. [NY Post]
• Alec Baldwin knows how to spell. [Page Six]
• Black people on Gossip Girl? What is the world coming to? [Page Six]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have "romantic" new tattoos. [People]
• Uh-oh: Mel Gibson's pregnant girlfriend is refusing to sign a pre-nup. [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Some guy sniffed Pamela Anderson's underwear. [The Sun]
• This Mary J. Blige track from the Precious soundtrack is powerful, sad. [The Life Files]
• It's been 25 years since U2 released The Unforgettable Fire. It was recorded at an Irish castle; producer Danny Lanois says: "Bono was looking for a different kind of location, a building that had ghosts in the walls and some kind of a sense of history… So that we weren't just in an empty modern warehouse, that we were actually feeling the presence of goings-on from the past." [Reuters]
• Eric Clapton has pulled out of a Rock and Roll Hall concert to have gallstones removed. [AP]
• Bruce Springsteen has canceled a show in Kansas City after his cousin — who was a roadie — was found dead in a hotel room. [USA Today]
• After his stint on Dancing With The Stars, next Tom DeLay plans to be an "expert" on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "You owe it to yourselves and your loved ones to see this again and again. Memorize it and say to yourselves, 'I saw genius in my lifetime.'" — One of Liz Taylor's 20 Tweets about the Michael Jackson movie This Is It. [CNN]
• "I've been on the road for pretty much five years now and I'm tired. I've kind of written about everything that has happened in my life for the past 10 years so I think I need to live some more before I start writing more." — Lily Allen, on quitting the record biz. She also says she might do musicals in London's West End: "It hasn't been confirmed yet but I'm keeping my options open." [Telegraph]
• "Reading about somebody else's tough experiences of being a mother, you're suddenly like, ‘My God, I've got a kid and I don't have time to read this. I've got to go do it.' There's no time. If he's sleeping I'm trying to sleep and when you're breast-feeding you're the milk machine. There's no time to pick up the guitar, much less go for a walk or have a beer. The first year of Henry's life has been just an insane earthquake for me… I waited a long time to have children because I had this career that was kind of like my kid, it required as much nurturing. There's no amount of hassle that could be bigger than my love of Henry." — Minnie Driver doesn't have time to read parenting blogs. [Daily Express]

• Lindsay Lohan wasn't surprised by the negative reaction to her Ungaro debut, as she feels people are always out to criticize her: "I am a target. I don't know why I am, but I am, and I accept that." [TimesOnline]

• "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion," Lohan says, "I didn't expect everyone to be completely loving the collection. It is the same with everything I have done. I knew that people were going to target me." [TimesOnline]
• Meanwhile, Lindsay's been dropped by her record label, is reportedly not getting paid by Ungaro (except for receiving free clothes), and, according to a source, her recent behavior during Paris Fashion Week might be a sign that she's readying herself for reality television: "She was being followed by a camera crew wherever she went," says the source, "We saw them filming her at the Vogue party and a bunch of other clubs around Paris." [PageSix]
• The crew accused of breaking into Lindsay's home is quickly turning on each other: Alexis Taylor, one of the suspects, claims that suspect Nick Prugo is responsible for everything: "I know for a fact Nick did all of these burglaries. He did every single burglary, he told me this after the police let him go. Nick is blaming people, trying to get the blame off himself." [TMZ]
• However, two other members of the dreadfully-named "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch," have previously been convicted for misdemeanor shoplifting. [TMZ]
• "I'm going to play more mums than sex symbols. I'm too old to play younger characters. When you live in LA you can't go anywhere without being criticised, on your purse or the fact that you have gained weight or that you have got spots on your face."-Catherine Zeta-Jones, who has an affair with a 25-year-old babysitter in her latest film. [DailyExpress]
• Simon Cowell's neighbors aren't big fans of his nightowl ways: "People arrive at 11pm, then the music starts and goes on until 2am or 3am. People around here want to get on with him, but he's not making it easy for us to like him.' [DailyMail]
• Tom Sizemore's ex-girlfriend is suing him for being a dead beat dad.[TMZ]
• Morrissey remains hospitalized after collapsing on stage last night; his condition is currently being reported as "stable." A fan at the concert says that Morrissey "didn't look particularly well" while performing, but continued struggling through the song until he eventually collapsed. "He kept putting his hand up to his mouth as if he felt sick or perhaps he was trying to hide something, but he didn't look particularly comfortable. He got through the whole song though ... to rapturous applause at the end." [AP]
• Avril Lavigne's soon to be ex-husband, Deryck Whibley, is getting the couple's mansion in the split. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston is reportedly starting a new late-night talk show for the Oprah Winfrey Network. [DailyExpress]
• The movie Cocktail is being turned into a Broadway musical, and Katie Holmes might be up for a starring role. In related news, I will be singing "Kokomo" all day long. [PageSix]
• Thinking of dressing up as Billy Mays for Halloween? His family says it's A-OK. Mays' son, Billy Mays III, is even holding a "Hallow-clean" costume contest; the winners will receive "various Billy Mays goodies as prizes." [People]
• "I've come across one female engineer, no female producers. It's such a male-dominated industry. My manager (Nicola Carson) is really cool. She's setting up nights where women in the industry come together, empowering women. I think that's great. Otherwise, it's just all men: management are men, everyone in your record company is a man, and it's not good."- Leona Lewis [Guardian]
• Amanda Seyfried and Dominic Cooper are still going strong, even though they're often separated by 5,000 miles. [Telegraph]
• Sandra Bullock is caught up in a custody battle between her husband, Jesse James and his ex-wife, Janine Lindemulder. Lindemulder was just released from jail, and James has asked a judge to determine if she's fit to share custody of the couple's daughter, Sunny. Bullock and James may have to testify at some point. [TimesOnline]
• "I don't know yet, I'm still fooling her into thinking I can dress her. She can buy nasty pinks when she gets her own cash. Wash the car, and you can buy your own pink." Stella McCartney on putting "nice pinks" into her Gap children's collection. [TimesOnline]
• Brad Pitt was in a minor accident yesterday; he lost control while driving and fell off of his motorcycle. No worries, though: he's fine. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears' new boyfriend, Jason Trawick is "absolutely fantastic" with her sons, says a source, ""When you see him with them, you wouldn't think for a moment that he wasn't their dad. He treats the kids like they are his own." [USWeekly]
• Tavis Smiley's name will be removed from Texas Southern University's communication school because he hasn't fulfilled a promised $1 million donation. That's way harsh, Texas Southern University. [UPI]
• "Children are amazing for so many reasons and one of them is that they kind of punctuate your life. Often our lives go by so fast without enjoying the moment and being able to reflect. When you have a person living in your house that is growing next to you it's just amazing to watch and reflect the passage of time."-Amy Poehler, whose son, Archie, turns 1 today. [People]
• Bill Cosby will receive this year's Mark Twain Prize for American humor, an award he's turned down twice before because he didn't want to be associated with the profanity performers were using to honor past nominees, especially Richard Pryor. "I told them flat out no because I will not be used, nor will Mark Twain be used, in that way." [AP]
• Keira Knightley has reportedly beat out Scarlett Johansson for the role of Eliza Doolittle in the upcoming adaptation of My Fair Lady. [Telegraph]
• Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson disappointed a security guard when he refused to pose for a picture for the guard's son: "The Rock got all annoyed and said he can't take pictures with everyone who asks," says a source, "The best part is that when the guy said 'Fine, but my son isn't a fan anymore,' The Rock gave him his trademark stare!" [PageSix]
• "There was no plot against me. There was no setup. It was all my fault. I think that my wrongdoing was much greater than Bill Clinton's. There's a different justice for people who are public figures than for those who are not."-Roman Polanski, in an interview given to Esquire magazine before he was arrested last month. [PageSix]
• Shakira says he plans to start a family once her tour ends: "My body feels like it is asking to reproduce, to have a huge belly and carry babies. And when the baby comes, I don't want to be in the middle of 100,000 projects." [NYDN]
• Bradley Cooper has asked Renee Zellweger for "some space" in their relationship. "Bradley is enjoying his status as a hot successful star and doesn't want to settle," says a source. [DailyMail]
• Katy Perry and Russell Brand are reportedly looking for a home together in Hollywood: ""Katy's just the girl to keep Russell on his toes and he's head over heels. He keeps telling us he's never met anyone like her and he knows she's the one for him. He's 34 and has been playing the field for years now and he's thinking this could be the time to settle down," says a source, "She loves his sense of humor. He totally cracks her up and she says it's really hot when they get together." [ShowbizSpy]
• Anne Hathaway will be a bridesmaid at Emily Blunt and John Krasinski's wedding; the bride will be wearing a gown by John Galliano. [ONTD]
• Courtney Love says she's returned to New York City, as her employees in LA "tried to take me to the loony bin." [NYDN]
• "I got that after we shot Clerks. I'd broken up with a girl and was feeling blue so I was drinking a lot of boxed Zinfandel. My friend was like: "That's awesome, man – why did you get it?" I said: "Because I'm always late, right?" He goes: "That's the White Rabbit." So I have the Mad Hatter on my arm and it has no significance whatsoever, except to remind me not to drink wine out of a box."- Kevin Smith on his Mad Hatter tattoo. [Guardian]

• The LAPD has arrested four women in connection with break-ins at Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge's homes.

One of the women, 19-year-old Rachel J. Lee, may also be involved in last year's jewelry heist at Paris Hilton's house, and her team may have also targeted Orlando Bloom. Teen cat burglars? I smell a screenplay! [People, TMZ, TMZ]

• Meanwhile, Lindsay says it's okay for her 15-year-old sister to party because "She's tougher than I am." And: "She has a good head on her shoulders. Maybe it was different for me because I didn't know what to expect and it just happened really fast. I didn't have a big sister." [E!]
• A club that had banned Lindsay Lohan has allowed her back in. [Page Six]
• Word is Rosie O'Donnell's marriage is over for good and Kelli Carpenter actually moved out months ago. [Radar Online]
• Someone dared David Cross to snort coke at the White House Correspondents' Dinner (which was not held in the White House) so he did. "Maybe 40 feet from the president of the United States!" [Newser]
• The United States has officially asked Switzerland to hand over Roman Polanski to authorities in California. [AP]
• Katherine Jackson has changed lawyers in the Michael Jackson estate case. [USA Today]
• Kenny Ortega, the choreographer working with Michael Jackson on the This Is It tour, says he wanted MJ healthy: "Michael had sleepless nights and we had to look after him. [I'd say to him], 'Stay hydrated, have a protein shake - Did you eat today before you came?'" But Ortega doesn't believe rehearsals were wearing MJ down: "Working on this show was invigorating, was nourishing." [AP]
• Alex Rodriguez dabbled in Kabbalah when he was dating Madonna and now he's getting into Buddhism, thanks to Kate Hudson. [Gatecrasher]
• A source close to Balloon Mom Mayumi Heene says she is "totally subservient to Richard and the boys. Whatever they want, they get" And that Mayumi will "go down with the ship." [NY Daily News]
• A pharmacist testified in the Anna Nicole Smith case, saying that when he received a request for drugs from her doctor, he said: "This is crazy. This is pharmaceutical suicide. The dosages are way out of whack." And: "I said I wouldn't fill it, and no pharmacy in California would." [NY Daily News]
• Awesome: Jay-Z and Will Smith are backing Fela!. [NY Post]
• Matt Damon is dealing with a "serious" family emergency. Stay tuned. [E!]
• Denis Leary and his wife Ann have a house in the country with three dogs and two horses; they're profiled in the Times today and also, Ann blogs about their picturesque rural life. [NY Times]
• Pamela Anderson is living in a trailer because construction on her house in Malibu is not going as planned. She says: "I am $3million over budget and I should have moved in over a year ago. I'm tiling the whole pool in platinum - that's expensive!" She also claims: "I'm going to sell [the house]. I hate it. People commit suicide over constructions. Relationships break down over constructions and I can see why. It rips your heart out." [Daily Mail]
• Oliver Stone is using "his uptown friends" as extras in Wall Street 2. Authentic! [Page Six]
• At the link, the amazing Mira Nair — who directed Mississippi Masala, Monsoon Wedding, The Namesake and Reese Witherspoon's VanityFair, talks about her latest, Amelia: "So much about Amelia [Earhart] is so undeniably modern. If she were to walk into a room today in her jodhpurs and her aviation jackets, [with] her ideas about marriage or men and women, she would still be considered an iconoclast." [NPR]
• Is there a backlash against Precious? And is Oprah to blame? [LA Times]
• Vanessa Redgrave is doing a one-night-only performance of The Year Of Magical Thinking — which is based loosely on the Joan Didion memoir and about dealing with unexpected death — mere months after Redgrave's daughter Natasha Richardson died. [WSJ]
• In this video, Tom Green and Tony Hawk have lunch and Tom talks shit about his ex-wife, Drew Barrymore: He has opinions about her photoshoot with Ellen Page and her behavior during their marriage. [Shred Or Die]
• "Magic Johnson blames former friend Isiah Thomas for spreading rumors that Johnson was gay after he announced he had HIV in 1991." [Newser]
• Bronson Pinchot made some… intense statements about Tom Cruise's homophobia and Denzel Washington's unpleasant character, and at the link, he clarifies. [WSJ]
• Earlier this year, Spike Lee slammed Tyler Perry's sitcoms, saying, "I think there's a lot of stuff out today that is coonery and buffoonery. I'm scratching my head. We've got a black president. Are we going back?" Now Perry say: "You know, that pisses me off. It really does. Because it's so insulting. It's attitudes like that that make Hollywood think that these people do not exist and that's why there's no material speaking to them. I would love to read that to my fan base." [CBS News]
• RIP Soupy Sales. [Reuters, CNN]
• "If you took the top five of my CDs and just put 'em away and then you have children, 10 years later, you break these out and put 'em on… you'll be laughing. And your kids will be laughing. ou put The Cosby Show on - there won't be any cellphones and people might be wearing funny sweaters - but that same human behavior will still connect with people." — Bill Cosby, who will received the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor on Monday, and believes good comedy has no shelf life. He also says he doesn't watch TV anymore: "I'm not thrilled with the deliberate onslaught of the public by the major networks in terms of the sitcoms. They still don't get it about race. They still don't get it about gender. Jokes are still about jerks and body parts and sex." [USA Today]
• "I think women really responded to that initially." — Patricia Arquette, on what this column calls her "more womanly, post-childbirth frame" on Medium. She also says: "They'll bring me new outfits, and I'm like, 'No, I need to repeat those pajamas again. And again.'" And! "I'm not one for spending a lot of money on this show, but these people need a new comforter!" [Variety]
• "I cook OK — I cook every night, so every night is not great. I am really not that adept a cook as [Julia Child] was, especially with that rapid-fire knife. If I did that in my kitchen everybody would run because there would be a lot of blood probably." — Meryl Streep. [Mirror]
• "It depends on the kid.  There are parts of it that are pretty intense. When I was 7 years old, I could not have seen this movie.  It would've scared me.  But my younger brother, who's now 7, could've seen this a year ago.  It depends on the kid." — Max Records, who plays Max in Where The Wild Things Are, on whether the film is too scary for young children. [LA Times]
• "Motherfucker took me out of the ghetto. That's my dude, man. He's been like a dad to me. I remember when I was on Saturday Night Live my first year and I wasn't getting much. I was down; I was ready to quit. It was three o'clock in the morning, man, I'll never forget. Makes me want to cry sometimes when I think about it. I love that man. I love that man. [long pause; starts to cry] I'm sorry, man. Excuse me. [another long pause] Son of a bitch… motherfucker's good. I remember one time Lorne took me to his office, and he said, 'Tracy, you are here not because you're black. You're here because you're fucking funny, man.' [bursts into tears again; wipes face with shirt] Changed my whole perspective.... They say every Jewish man is supposed to love one black motherfucker in this life. I'm glad Lorne Michaels chose me." — Tracy Morgan hearts Lorne Michaels. [Playboy via NY Mgaazine]

• After shooting a fight scene for The Bounty, a source says Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were "lovey-dovey" and "we saw him give her a little kiss." He was also throwing peanuts and popcorn in her mouth. [Radar Online]

• Jennifer Aniston feels "rejected and upset" because Bradley Cooper chose Renee Zellweger over her. "She wanted to turn her date with Cooper into something...she honestly feels screwed over," says a source. [Us]
• It's only been a few days since Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn announced that they're divorcing, but he's already been spotted partying with two different women. [TMZ]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall are fighting on the set of SATC 2 because Kim's upset that she just broke up with her boyfriend Alan Wyse. "Sarah is too busy to comfort Kim or worry about her problems at the moment, and she basically told her as much," says a source. "Kim has been moping around, feeling sorry for herself and Sarah basically told her to snap out of it and buck up her ideas." [This Is London]
• Ryan Jenkins has been charged with the murder of Jasmine Flore by the Orange County D.A. [TMZ]
• The murder complaint against Ryan Jenkins says his bail recommendation is $10 million and a wanted poster warns that he's "armed and dangerous." [TMZ]
• The police got a "Ramey Warrent" for Ryan Jenkins that lets them bypass the D.A. and go directly to the judge, which is often used in cases when a suspect is on the run. [TMZ]
• Police have confirmed that Ryan Jenkins has entered Canada. It seems he took a boat from Washington State to Canada, then abandoned the boat and entered the country on foot. [People]
• Ryan Jenkins has business ties to Honduras and that may be his final destination. [TMZ]
• A criminal complaint had been filed against Ryan Jenkins for allegedly hitting Jasmine Flore "in the arm with his fist" in June. [TMZ]
• TMZ has an email Ryan Jenkins sent to Jasmine Fiore three weeks before she was murdered. He wrote: "Your [sic] my angel, despite what we've done to each other." [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson says Michael Jackson's burial has been pushed to August 31, two days after what would have been his 51st birthday because there are still things the family needs to get in order, that apparently they didn't get to in the past two months. [TMZ]
• Katherine Jackson asked a judge to let her show a confidential AEG Michael Jackson memorabilia deal to her financial advisors. AEG has threatened to pull out because the company is worried people are losing interest in MJ. [TMZ]
• Tito Jackson and Gladys Knight will do a U.K. tour called the "Midnight Train to Love," as a tribute to Michael Jackson. Tito will perform songs by MJ and the Jackson 5, as well as music from his upcoming album. [Reuters]
• Promoters for the global Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna say the web site crashed half an hour before ticket sales were set to star because a million people had logged on. 85,000 passes are available for the September 26 concert. [AP]
• David Copperfield said (through lawyers during an interview because the reporter started asking her, "Who's your favorite Australian..." The manager thought the reporter was going to ask about Australian designer Katie Perry, who Katy was in a legal battle with earlier this year, but the reporter says she just wanted to know who her favorite Australian artist is. [The Sun]
• Snoop Dogg had to poll the audience during Who Wants To Be A Millionaire because he didn't know the name of the character with an inkblot on his face from Watchmen. He said, "Man I seen that movie too and I fell asleep on it." [The Sun]
• Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Oz are suing a websites for products like "Colon Pro Cleanse, Power Colon Cleanse, Colon Max" that feature their images, names, and voices. Their lawyers say the companies are cashing in "on the false premise that [the products] have been tested or recommended by Miss Winfrey and/or Dr. Oz when they have not." [TMZ]
• Oprah Winfrey is planning a huge party for the 10th anniversary of O, The Oprah Magazine, in May. She may hold a concert at Radio City Music Hall or close down New York's West Side Highway for a charity event. [E!]
• At first the owner of the Centerville Pie Co. on Cape Cod denied that she sold Oprah Winfrey's entourage 20 pies, but Oprah herself called the Cape Cod Times to say, "the pie-gate escapade actually did happen." [AP]
• Paula Abdul was in negotiations to play Helen on Ugly Betty but was replaced with Kristen Johnston due to her list of demands, which possibly included a private jet. Johnston said, "I've always considered myself the poor man's Paula Abdul." [Entertainment Weekly]
• Richard Hatch was serving out the end of his sentence on house arrest but was returned to prison on Tuesday when he gave an unauthorized interview to NBC and now the ACLU is getting involved. A spokesman said, "It's appalling to think that he has been sent to jail merely for speaking to the media about his own court case." [AP]
• Bjork and her husband Matthew Barney are buying a co-op in Brooklyn. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Jordan Scott, who wrote an obscure vampire novel called The Nocturne is suing Stephenie Meyer because she says she stole ideas from her book for Breaking Dawn. [Reuters]
• Though it was reported that Lady Gaga would be toning things down when her tour stopped in Israel, at her last performance she faked an orgasm onstage and screamed, "Get your dicks out. Cause I heard there some pretty big cocks here in Israel!" [ONTD]
• Claire Danes is wearing fishnets and a leotard on the cover of BlackBook here: [BlackBook]
• "Life, that's what this record is about... It's so easy for me to do a boy-bashing pop song, but to sit down and write honestly about something that's really close to me, something I've been through, it's a totally different thing." — Avril Lavigne on her new record. [Rolling Stone]
• You can watch the new video for "Run This Town" featuring Jay-Z, Rihanna, and Kanye West here: [Just Jared]
• Jared Kushner asked for Donald Trump's permission to marry his daughter, Ivanka Trump. She says, "I thought it was adorable." [People]
• RHOA's Nene Leakes says despite co-star Kim Zolciak's accusations, she hasn't been cheating on her husband, Gregg Leakes, with NFL player Charles Grant. Nene says, "Charles is not anybody I'm seeing. I want to know where Kim gets the information from." [Star Magazine]
• Bill Cosby will be presented the Mark Twin Prize for American Humor at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts by Jerry Seinfeld in October. [AP]
• Mickey Rourke says of filming The Wrestler, "I'm not 20 years old any more and when they throw your ass down, something is gonna hurt. My back would go out, my knee would go out. I had three MRIs in the first two months. If they would say they want to make Part 2, I would say, 'No, thank you.'" [AP]
• Lucy Clarkson, the model for Lara Croft says she had bulimia. "It makes me angry when I see very thin celebrities who are clearly not their natural body shape denying it. That sends out the wrong message. There are girls as young as five saying they think they are too fat," says Clarkson. "The industry wants you to look a certain way. For Lara Croft they wanted me to be quite muscular, so I was working out with a personal trainer. My curves were in demand from lingerie companies and men's magazines, but the fashion world pressured me to be skinny." [The Star]
• Kourtney Kardashian gives a run through of all the baby gifts she's already received at the link, but says she and boyfriend Scott Disick are also studying up on childbirth online. She says, "We watch these videos together on some random Web site I found called healthguru.com. They have videos which tell you what to expect, like the size of the baby at different stages, what the baby is doing inside. They're cool. Neither of us have read a book, but we're going to." [People]
• Apparently it's standard now to ask pregnant women if they'd pose nude. Kourtney Kardashian said: "I think so. I'd have to think about it." [Us]
• Heidi Klum says she and Seal won't be having any more kids after their fourth child is born. "We're outnumbered," say Klum. "Four is perfect. Three is a lot. But four? It's a lot of work. We're hands-on, and we feel like this is what we can handle." [USA Today]

• Michael Lohan says Jon Gosselin is trying to get out of his TLC contract to appear on his new show Divorced Dads Club and hinted that a few famous former sports stars/single dads may be joining them.

• Lohan says of Jon's relationship with TLC, "There's bad blood there. If your show was making the network $130 something million and they paid you the pittance they paid you and restricted you from doing so many different things, how would you feel?" adding that the producers of Divorced Dads Club are, "reaching out to Dennis Rodman. I know Jose Canseco has already said yes, he wants to be part of the show that bad. There are even some divorced celebrities who are not dads who want to do the show." [Radar Online]
• In Croatia Jay-Z and Beyonce were having dinner by the ocean when their body guard started fighting with a paparazzo. The photographer threw his tripod at the body guard, so he threw it in the ocean. There's video: [TMZ]
• Dr. Conrad Murray will be arrested for the death of Michael Jackson and charged with manslaughter in the next two weeks according to a law enforcement source. MJ's dermatologist Dr. Arnold Klein will also be arrested and charged with medical malpractice. [Fox News]
• The doctor who performed the in vitro fertilization procedure in Celine Dion that resulted in her second pregnancy says he implanted an embryo that had been kept frozen in liquid nitrogen for the past eight years. The embryo was frozen while she was going through IVF to conceive her first child René-Charles in 2001. [People]
• A friend of Samantha Burke says she met Jude Law in a New York club. "He was sick, so she kept going to his hotel over the course of a week to take care of him." But Jude wasn't all that grateful. "Jude didn't even remember her. She hasn't seen him since New York. They've only been in contact through their lawyers," says the friend, who added that she thinks Samantha's crazy to keep the baby and that she may be looking for money because "her family doesn't have any money." [E!]
• A "family friend" says Chaz Bono is planning to conceive a child with his fiance Jennifer Elia after his gender reassignment surgery is complete and Cher has volunteered to help them find a sperm donor. "Cher doesn't care if the baby is a boy or girl, but she's insisting on a donor with intelligence, creativity and good looks," says the source. [National Enquirer]
• Sheryl Crow sold her music catalogue to fund affiliated with an Australian bank. She'll get a smaller cut of the royalties, but the group will promote her copyrighted material to movie houses and advertisers. [WSJ]
• A source says Jason Trawick hasn't broken up with Britney Spears. "Things are fine – they still maintain a great working relationship and he's in her life as a great friend as he's always been," said the source, "Things are casual … Britney really listens to what he has to say. He's been with her a long time, he gets along with the family. He has her best interests at heart, and he cares about her." [People]
• The LAPD has issued a statement saying someone gave them the nude Eric Dane/Rebecca Gayheart tape that "could link celebrities engaging in illegal activity... The LAPD was in the process of reviewing the voluminous files contained on the DVD when the story was leaked to the media. No determination has been made as to whether or not the DVD contained any information that could be used for a criminal investigation. Some of the information contained on the DVD included archived articles and photographs of porn stars and formally convicted madams, which could readily be found over the Internet." [Extra]
• Brad Pitt's former Thelma & Louise co-star Michael Madsen said, "Everybody's had enough of Brad Pitt. I've seen enough of him for a lifetime." It's possible he's mad at Brad for not getting him a role in The Assasination of Jesse James. [TMZ]
• Ugh, "internet personality" Justin Ross Lee, who previously shared pictures of Ashley Olsen he took on a flight sold video of Brad Pitt, who happened to wind up on another flight with him. [Star]
• Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper "get along really well and just kinda click," said a source, "Bradley likes the speed of everything. He likes that Reneé is low-key." [People]
• Renee Zellweger wore Carolina Herrera to the premiere of her movie My One And Only but Mark Randall, who plays her son, wore jeans with ripped knees and five year old Converse sneakers. "I decided to dress up a little tonight," he said. [N.Y. Observer]
• A group of Bulgarian Orthodox priests have asked Madonna to reschedule a concert scheduled for August 29 because it falls on St. John the Baptist day, when followers are supposed to refrain from "secular pleasures and merrymaking". [UPI]
• "I don't have a girlfriend," says Robert Pattinson, "I don't know why... You always think you're going to get more girls after you've made a movie and it never happens. You sit there and you're like, 'I'm a big movie star and I want to go out with some models,' but I don't know why that doesn't happen." [People]
• A friend says that Jasmine Flore, whose body was found in a suitcase and thrown in a dumpster over the weekend, had told her husband Ryan Alexander Jenkins of Megan Wants A Millionaire, that their relationship was over and was supposed to go to Las Vegas to reunite with an ex on the day her body was found. [TMZ]
• The ex, Robert Hasman, says he received a text from Jasmine Flore saying she was coming to see him, then another that said "suck it." Police suspect Ryan Jenkins may have seen the first message on his wife's phone and written the second. Jenkins reported Flore missing on Saturday night and is now MIA. [TMZ]
• Ryan Jenkins has a criminal record for assaulting a girlfriend in 2005. He was ordered to get treatment for sex addiction and domestic violence and serve 15 months probation. [TMZ]
• American Idol producers want Faith Hill to be a celebrity judge next season. [Radar Online]
• When Leighton Meester came to the studio to perform the vocals on Cobra Starship's "Good Girls Go Bad," "She like, turned the lights down low in the studio and lit a few candles to set the mood," says bassist Alex Suarez. "I've never seen candles in the studio before... So she's like, 'You make me want to lose control,' alone in the dark surrounded by vanilla and lavender, clenching her fist, just really feeling it." [People]
• Julianne Moore is selling her New York townhouse for $12 million and you can check out shots of her living room, kitchen, and bathroom here: [Fashion Week Daily]
• Jason Schwartzman married clothing designer Brady Cunningham on July 11 in the San Fernando Valley. "It was a very small ceremony with many family members and close friends," said his rep. [People]
• If you can't wait to hear the song Heidi Montag will perform at the Miss Universe pageant later this month, you can check it out at the link. Heidi says, "I am so excited to perform ... at Miss Universe for my first ever live performance... This is such a miracle in life and I give thanks to God everyday for this once in a lifetime opportunity." [People]
• Three women displaced by Hurricane Katrina have been charged with collecting rental assistance from FEMA after Oprah Winfrey helped them buy new homes through her Angel Network. [Reuters]
• George Lopez's family members are mad at him because he buried his grandma without telling them. "George buried our grandma and didn't tell any of us about it," said his sister Linda Sierra. "He didn't let any of us know — George's sisters, nephews and nieces are all heartbroken." [Radar Online]
• Philadelphia native Bill Cosby appeared at a news conference today with Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell to criticize Senate Republicans' plan to provide less money for schools than the Democratic governor has proposed. [AP]
• Possible Mad Men spoiler: Orestes Arcuni, who played the bell hop on Monday's episode, says, "The kissing and sex stuff is so technical that it only resembles something romantic when spliced and edited together. It took about four hours and about ten different camera set ups to shoot. The actors are not having a romantic experience, that's hopefully the result of good editing, a good story, and ultimately what the audience brings along with them to the viewing experience." [Gothamist]
• Katey Sagal, who is starring in the FX drama Sons of Anarchy says of there being more roles for actresses "of a certain age," "I don't know why it's changed, but I'm really grateful it has. Maybe it has to do with the fact that we're all living longer and suddenly it's okay to get older. Maybe there's a broader audience for these characters. The stories you can tell about older women are deeper. Plus, cable has opened up enormous possibilities. In feature films, you're still lucky if you're not the girlfriend or the wife. But I just read yesterday that Dianne Keaton is going to be on television now, she's doing a series with HBO, so TV is where our stories are being told." [CNN]

• At the launch of her spray-tanning line Sevin Nyne, Lindsay Lohan said of criticism about her weight, "I like the way I look." She added that she and Samantha Ronson are still in touch.

• "We're friends," said Lindsay. "I'm doing great. I'm very happy." [E!]
• Rihanna had dinner last night in L.A. with her mentor, Jay-Z. [Perez Hilton]
• In this video Jay-Z ignores reporters shouting questions at him as he leaves the restaurant, but LOLs when one yells, "Is it true that Chris Brown originated the swine flu?" [TMZ]
• Comedian Diana Alouise, who claims she was once Mel Gibson's mistress, says she wants to help his wife in their divorce battle. "We had a hot love affair based on sex, alcohol and partying, but it never would have happened if I had known the truth," she says, "He told me he was married but that technically he wasn't with his wife anymore. I didn't really have any reason to believe otherwise." [The Daily Star]
• In a new interview with Playboy Shia LaBeouf tells many charming stories about his childhood, including his mom's constant nudity, pot smoking and how sexy she is. He also said of going through puberty on the set of Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, "Holy fucking Christ! Really disgusting if I get into elaborate details. I remember my trailer was set up in such a way that Cameron Diaz's and Lucy Liu's trailers were visible through my window, through this little shade I had. I'd put down the blackout shade just enough to have my eye peeping through and get them in my crosses. I'd be inside totally going at it. Just the thought of them changing in their trailers was enough to get me off." [Playboy Press Release]
• Video of Susan Boyle singing "Memories" at a talent show in 1984. The audience member who found the tape, which you can watch at the link, says "She was so shy but she was also very attractive back then-she turned a few heads when she came in." [Newser]
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon celebrated their one year anniversary last night at Las Vegas at the Palms Casino Resort. Cannon produced a video of clips from their last year, which made Carey cry. "This is the most amazing person in the world," Cannon told the crowd. "I dedicate my life to her daily, and together this union is gonna last forever. She is my rock." [People]
• Heidi Klum and Seal renew their wedding vows every year in Costa Careyes, Mexico, but this year they are doing it at home in L.A. because of the swine flu. Her rep says, "Heidi was worried about border closings and her three small children. And of course, she's pregnant." [Perez Hilton]
• Heidi Klum says she doesn't know the sex of her fourth baby yet, but she plans to find out, "probably at the end of the month." [People]
• Mia Farrow is five days into her hunger strike to raise awareness about the situation in Darfur, and she said David Blaine gave her some hunger strike tips. "He told me to drink 4 liters of water. Do you know how much water that is?", Farrow wrote on her blog. "He said after 6 days I won't feel hunger." [People]
• A friend says Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker have, "always talked about wanting [more] kids, it just wasn't happening." The source said Parker, "had difficulty getting pregnant. So they went the surrogate route." [People]
• When asked how he's preparing for his nude scenes in the upcoming film Little Ashes, Robert Pattinson said, "I had a penis implant!" [Entertainment Weekly]
• Hugh Jackman's penis is named "Roger." [L.A. Times]
• A New York judge has thrown out the harassment and assault lawsuit filed against Foxy Brown by her neighbor. The neighbor claims that Brown hit her in the face with a Blackberry. [E!]
• Michael Vick is in talks to do public service announcements for PETA, in an effort to rehabilitate his image once he gets out of jail later this month. [Ad Age]
• Celebrities attending the White House Correspondent's Dinner include Steven Speilberg, Kate Capshaw, George Lucas, Glenn Close, and Kal Penn. [Politico]
• Khloe Kardashian is dating a football player, just like here sister, Kim Kardashian. Khloe has been dating the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' Derrick Ward for about a month. [Star]
• Sienna Miller is in the new film G.I. Joe but her hair is dyed brown and she's barely recognizable, as evidenced by the picture here: [The Daily Mail]
• Oprah Winfrey wrote an essay about Michelle Obama for The Time 100. She wrote, "Michelle Obama doesn't just inspire us. She affirms us with her intelligence, authenticity, depth and compassion. We see the best of ourselves in her and marvel that no matter what she's doing, she brings 100% of herself to the experience." [Time]
• Jewel wrote on her husband Ty Murray's MySpace page about Dancing With The Stars contestant Melissa Rycroft, woh has a cracked rib and can't compete this week. She said, "As bad as I felt for Melissa, who I hope feels better and comes back, I'm used to our cowboy athletes that live by the rule: "ride hurt or don't get a score." It may seem harsh, but it seems like the only way to keep things honest. If you're too hurt to compete then you can't compete. But if I were to be on the show I might change my mind. Hahah!" DWTS fans freaked out and she had to explain that she wasn't insulting Rycroft on her own blog. [Perez Hilton]
• Wendy "The Snapple Lady" Kaufman was let go by the company in 1994, then rehired a decade later. Today in a live chat with Adweek, she said, "The people who run it now ... they are morons, and they do not care about this brand and its history ... I love Snapple ... just not the people ... and the memory of Snapple ... it's weird, I know." She added, "I never thought they did a great campaign after mine." [Brand Freak]
• Conservative group One Million Moms wants people to send Miley Cyrus letters saying they do not approve of her writing in several Tweets to Perez Hilton that she supports gay marriage. Miley made comments like, "Jesus loves you and your partner and wants you to know how much he cares! That's like a daddy not loving his lil boy cuz he's gay and that is wrong and very sad!" [ONTD]
• Tilda Swinton says of her new film Julia, in which she plays an alcoholic who kidnaps a young boy and winds up in a small seedy town in Mexico, "don't expect Hannah Montana." She added, "Julia is a wreck and I had to wreck myself to play her, but, happily, I'm over it now." [WWD]
• Bill Cosby's book Come On People is being released in paperback. He says to his critics, "I've been accused of picking on the poor and all that means is 'Shut up, stop talking about them. Stop bringing it up, because when you bring it up you splash it on me also. I dislike Bill Cosby for saying this.' There are others — those fellas in the prisons — who are really very thankful for this." [The Wall Street Journal]
• Alfre Woodard says she doesn't like playing moms because, "Americans have a hard time writing moms. I'll get a script and everything's really great, everything's well-drawn, but the mom is like this character, like stock footage, they go and get that out. They plug it in, this idea of "mother." You could lift moms out of any script, no matter what the culture, what the neighborhood, what the economic status, even if it's a period mom, and you could switch them around, and they'd be the same person. I think it's because most people don't really have a human idea, a specific life that they attach to who their mother was. Their mother was there for them, so it either gets deified, or the opposite. That Mommie Dearest kind of thing. We love them or we don't, or we rebel, but we can't see who they are. That they are a person in life with taste, with sexuality, with opinions, who is pissy also, who has a right to not be the big tit for you every time you want something. And then we leave, and we go off to college or off into the world to work-you really appreciate your mom then. But there's that big chunk when you don't know your mom's faults, desires, wishes, distastes." [The A.V. Club]

Writes Tim Arango in the New York Times:

Dr. Alvin F. Poussaint, a psychiatrist at the Jude Baker Children’s Center in Boston and a professor at Harvard Medical School who was a script consultant on The Cosby Show, said in an interview that "there were a lot of young people who were watching that show who are now of voting age." Dr. Poussaint added: "When The Cosby Show first came on, it was a professional, middle-class family. And they said, 'That’s not a black family.' We heard it from blacks and whites. I think that’s why Karl Rove calls it postracial, because it was universal."

Bill Cosby himself spoke with the LA Times and says, "For all those people who said they didn't know any black people like the Huxtables — all I can say is, 'Will you watch the show now?'"

But doesn't this thinking ignore the fact that there are actual successful black families living in America? They're not all make-believe. In fact, it's pretty insulting not to take them into account. On the other hand, if TV shows do tap into the zeitgeist of this country, what does it say that there are zero black families featured prominently on CBS, NBC, ABC or Fox right now? According to the LA Times, only one series — the CW's Everybody Hates Chris — revolves around a two-parent black family. Maybe having the Obamas in the White House will encourage some diversity on television?

Before Obama, There Was Bill Cosby [NY Times]
Talking Obamas, Huxtables with Bill Cosby [LA Times]
How The Huxtables Paved The Way For The Obamas [Politico]

Earlier: How Come All The Pop Culture Moms Are White These Days?

I mean, isn't avant-garde knitwear all the rage? Isn't the new M Missoni line the biggest thing on the fashion grapevine? And they pale before the kaleidoscopic wonder of the Classic Cos.

You could argue that, as I write, I am wearing an electric-blue turban from the Wig Factory in San Francisco. And you wouldn't be wrong. But those sweaters are friggin' avant-garde, awesomely inventive garments, and I for one am not going to let my snobbery blind me to their potential. Of course, the price tag's a little steep; I'm obviously going to, as usual, spring for a knockoff. (SalVa here I come.) And I envy the lucky fashionista who wises up and wins the real thing. Oh, and if you think I am joking: before this week is out I will acquire just such a Cosby-inspired look and post a picture for you!

Does No One Want Bill Cosby's Sweaters? [New York Magazine]

• Amy Winehouse has joined a list of young millionaires! She has an estimated £10 million fortune. And yet you'd never know it. Love that! [Telegraph]
  
• Uh-oh. Amy might get arrested today, because she headbutted some guy who might press charges. [The Sun]
  
• Madonna's new album, Hard Candy, debuts today on MySpace — four days before the official release date. [People]
  
• Lauren Conrad will become a fashion blogger. For the poorly-named site College Tonight. Think she can write? [Fashionista]
  
• So MSNBC is claiming they never asked Heidi Montag to sit at their table at the White House Correspondent's dinner. And yet! Radar has an email from Courtney Hazlett of MSNBC.com attempting to confirm Heidi's attendance at the dinner. But see MSNBC and MSNBC.com are different, you guys. So the site sent the invite and Heidi declined. In any case! Heidi will not be at the dinner. So there's that. [Radar]

• Jailed Pete Doherty missed his own art opening in Paris. On view: 30 paintings by the singer, using his own blood as well and pencil and paint. The one of Kate Moss is um, impressionistic. [Daily Mail]
• Jimmy Fallon will replace Conan O'Brien on Late Night sometime next year. Well, the show will be full of laughter: He's great at cracking himself up. [AP]
• The unlawful smoking charges against Shia LaBeouf have been dismissed! Light up, dude. In a designated area, though. [Yahoo News]
• Rebecca Romjin's character on Ugly Betty — being scaled back and downgraded to a "recurring" role. Boo. Everyone loves a glam tranny. [E!]
• Two newspapers and the Associated Press are asking for access to R. Kelly's pretrial hearings. The lawyer repping the media outlets claims that R's celebrity status doesn't justify a media ban. [AP]
• Meanwhile! R. Kelly has a new video, in which he sings about getting his hair braided. [ConcreteLoop]
• Jerry Springer will be the commencement speaker at Northwestern Law School for the class of '08 and some people are not happy. [Page Six]
• Ice-T is producing a documentary about his hero, Iceberg Slim, a pimp-turned-novelist. [Page Six]
• John Legend is not, repeat, not dating Maria Menounos; they just had a "friendly drink." John has a girlfriend, Christine Teigen. [Page Six]
• Nick Lachey will host a show called High School Musical: Summer Session that's like a talent search or something and I feel sad about the direction TV is going in so I'm not saying any more. [Variety]
• Bill Cosby is teaming up with a Superior Court Judge in Atlanta to speak about at-risk black youth. [CNN, via AP]
• George Clooney's Oscar Nominee Gift Bag: Up for charity auction. [PR Newswire]
• Cynthia Nixon may marry her girlfriend Christine Marinoni in "a quiet autumn ceremony in Vermont under the red leaves." And they both have red hair! Sounds sweet. [ONTD]
• Michael Jackson's asked Akon to produce his new album. And uh, he's sworn off women so he can "concentrate." Yeeeeah. [Page Six]
• A new book scolds Paris Hilton and Britney Spears for impulse-buying animals at pet stores. [Page Six]
• Heidi Fleiss will be on Dr. Drew's VH1 show, Celebrity Rehab to deal with her Vicodin and meth addictions. Oh, and she's hoping to fall in love. LOL. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which 'sensitive' heartthrob rocker does his best work with a snoot full of booger sugar? Girls who flock to his side at NYC clubs notice he can't go but five minutes between bathroom breaks." [Gatecrasher]
• The Empire State Building will be purple, pink and white tonight in honor of Mariah Carey. Somebody take a picture! [Gothamist]
• The paparazzi are mad at Mariah Carey because at a CD signing, she showed up two hours late, rushed down the red carpet and wore sunglasses on the red carpet. They might boycott her. Ooooh, burn. [TMZ]
• Some dude who once appeared in a movie with Michael Douglas is suing Douglas over an effed up business deal. [TMZ/]
• Two production assistants who worked on The Hills and Next have filed a class action lawsuit against MTV, claiming they put in more than eight hours a day, without meal breaks, but were not paid overtime. Plus: They had to deal with the cast of The Hills. [TMZ]
• Three years after his memorable couch-jumping incident, Tom Cruise will be back on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Oprah will be celebrating Tom's career since his breakout role 25 years ago in Risky Business. [People]
• Pete Wentz says the ring he gave Ashlee Simpson is not a conflict diamond, so you can all relax. [People]
• Ashlee is on the cover of Shape magazine, btw. In a string bikini. Is that why she doesn't want to admit she's preg? [MSNBC]
• The new 90210 might have Hilary Duff as a star. Meh. [E!]
• "I have accepted a part in a major studio film. It's a comedy. It's starting the first week in May and it's filming in Louisiana. I can't wait." — Kim Kardashian. The flick is one of those spoofs like Scary Movie, Date Movie, etc. You know, totes Oscar-worthy. [E!]
• Is there a James Bond curse? A stuntman is fighting for his life after crashing an Alfa Romeo into a truck while filming a chase scene. This is the third on-set accident this week. Fear not! Daniel Craig was not harmed. [Mirror]
• Oh, but production on the film as been suspended while the accident is investigated. [Perez Hilton]
• I've heard this before but maybe you haven't: Ashton Kutcher has webbed toes. [The Sun]
• "I think people are learning to actually aspire to be objectified. It's like the highest form of flattery for teenage girls. The culture we live in right now seems to reward behavior that we used to frown upon. We used to teach our daughters not to be like this. I think in the '80s, there would certainly have been a little bit of snobbery expressed if somebody admitted to getting a full Brazilian bikini wax. A circle of friends would be like, 'What are you, a porn star?'" — Christina Ricci. [MSNBC]

MEGAN: I have decided that CNN's morning show has become The Today Show and can't watch it anymore despite the hotness of Sanjay Gupta. MSNBC is my only alternative despite Joe Scarborough's dickishness (today: he's going to buy a Tahoe hybrid, which gets shittier gas mileage than my 8 year old Corolla but the Tahoe is biiiiiig unlike his dick) but since I'm apparently being a dick today it's working for me. Sort of. I wish I hadn't given my collection of stress balls to that guy I was dating last year when he was quitting smoking because I could now be throwing them at the TV.
MOE: I haven't watched TV or really slept very much in a very, very long time. I'm a total shutin, trying to write prettily the tale of antibiotic resistant bacteria for this epic piece I can't seem to finish even as I'm sort of fascinated by microbiology.

MEGAN: You know what's fucked? My parents' neighbor's daughter, who is 3 or 4 years younger than me, has had a drug resistant flesh-eating staph infection for the last 6 months.
MOE: I guess I should at the very least read Drudge, or this is going to be one of those things where it's like "oh, Moe's gotten REALLLY stupid hasn't she."
MEGAN: She's been in and out of the hospital and they're only now maybe kind of sure she won't lose her arm and she's like 25.
MEGAN: Nah, actually, reading Drudge will make you stupid, I think. The Pope is here! Obama's not hope-y! Clinton's on the attack! And McCain isn't that bad!
MOE: It's the affliction of our thoughtless Cold War antibiotics policies. We've given the bacteria all these opportunities to create these radicalized master races with our indiscriminate use of antibiotics.
MEGAN: Got a cold? Have some antibiotics! Got an ear infection perhaps? Enjoy! Yummy amoxicilin!
MOE: Whenever you take 3 days worth of amoxicillin to kill a cold that you thought was maybe a sinus infection, you're funding terrorism.
MOE: Or like, eating meat.
MEGAN: Yeah, beef. Damn beef.

MEGAN: Corn fed beef that's spent its life as a cow crapping all over and being crapped on by other cows necessitating a constant stream of antibiotics to keep them from getting sick before slaughter because, really, it takes a really special slaughterhouse to still slaughter a downer cow and feed it to the populace and the USDA is getting so mean about that these days. What? It's not like we've got BSE in this country. Or, um, but we totally got it from Canada! Only when we didn't! Whatever, everyone should take our meat anyway.
MOE: OMG Cindy McCain is totally the next coming of Jessica Seinfeld. And they use them in pork and chickens too. It's not so much to resist infection (because um, duh, when you feed cows a constant supply of antibiotics it's not going to really do anything about the infections after awhile) but to fatten them up faster. They grow like 12% faster for some reason. I think it has to do with the gut flora but I don't really know.
MOE: I love this:

This past Sunday, Lauren Handel, an eagle-eyed attorney from New York, was searching for a specific recipe from Giada DeLaurentis, a chef on the Food Network. Yet whenever she Googled the different ingredients in the recipe, the oddest thing happened: not only did the Food Network's site come up, as expected, but so did John McCain's campaign site.

MEGAN: Yeah, I saw that yesterday. Old men fucking their 12-year-old daughters? Totes fine. Cops talking to them about it? Baaaad.

MEGAN: But MSNBC yesterday had an interview with a former sect member who was all, hey, that bitch you're showing crying about her kids? Yeah, she used to beat mine.
MOE: Bob Herbert re bittergate:

But there is something perverse in the effort to portray Senator Obama — who has tried hard to promote a message of unity and healing — as some kind of divisive figure.

To avoid being mistaken for a sellout, I chose my friends carefully. The more politically active black students. The foreign students. The Chicanos. The Marxit professors and structural feminists and punk-rock performance poets. We smoked cigarettes and wore leather jackets. At night, in the dorms, we discussed neocolonialism, Franz Fanon, Eurocentrism, and patriarchy. When we ground out our cigarettes in the hallway carpet or set our stereos so loud that the walls began to shake, we were resisting bourgeois society's stifling constraints. We weren't indifferent or careless or insecure. We were alienated.

"The rest of Europe will just roll its eyes, sigh and say, 'Here we go again,' but there's nothing they can do about it," said John Harper, a professor of political science at the Bologna branch of Johns Hopkins University.

MEGAN: But, apparently, in Italy that's sort of okay which is why he got re-elected.
MOE: Ohkay, Geoff Davis. Nasty racist congressman refers to Obama as snake oil salesman, was less impressed with this World of Warcraft game than he was with his bowling score!

He said in his remarks at the GOP dinner that he also recently participated in a "highly classified, national security simulation" with Obama.
"I'm going to tell you something: That boy's finger does not need to be on the button," Davis said. "He could not make a decision in that simulation that related to a nuclear threat to this country."

MEGAN: Also, I love that this is the overarching analysis of the paper's prescience:

We had high economic growth for years, but never solved the problems of poverty, unemployment and unequal income distribution. And those problems are still there

Behind the scenes, Cosby hired the Harvard psychiatrist Alvin Poussaint to make sure that the show never trafficked in stereotypes and that it depicted blacks in a dignified light. Picking up Cosby's fixation on education, Poussaint had writers insert references to black schools. "If the script mentioned Oberlin, Texas Tech, or Yale, we'd circle it and tell them to mention a black college," Poussaint told me in a phone interview last year. "I remember going to work the next day and white people saying, 'What's the school called Morehouse?'" In 1985, Cosby riled NBC by placing an anti-apartheid sign in his Huxtable son's bedroom. The network wanted no part of the debate. "There may be two sides to apartheid in Archie Bunker's house," the Toronto Star quoted Cosby as saying. "But it's impossible that the Huxtables would be on any side but one. That sign will stay on that door. And I've told NBC that if they still want it down, or if they try to edit it out, there will be no show." The sign stayed.

MOE: Well, since then, you know, he's become kind of the Cedric character in Barbershop. In Philadelphia we did a lot of stories about all the charges that he'd had a big problem groping and dateraping women or something. There do not seem to be mentions of those in this story, which depicts him as a well-intentioned hater.

MEGAN: Yeah, whatever happened with that? Those were some vicious stories.
MEGAN: Also, I love how the death of his son isn't presented at all as a potential reason for the change in his public demeanor.
MOE: 13 women is a lot to ignore.
MEGAN: And, yet, somehow The Atlantic Ta-Nehisi Coates manage to do so. Strange that.
MEGAN: Oh, um, maybe not that strange. Ta-Nehisis is a dude. Married to a woman named Kenyatta, to bring it back to Obama's father's critique.
MOE: And yes, I think that would make you a candidate for the "bitter" category. To be honest, everyone in this damn country needs to grow the fuck up, stop spending so much money, stop watching reality TV, invest in an Economist subscription, learn a foreign language, and help others now and again.
MEGAN: But The Deadliest Catch's new season premieres tonight on the Discovery Channel! That doesn't count as "reality" TV right?

• Did Hulk Hogan have an affair while he was still living with his wife, Linda? And was the woman he slept with a friend of his daughter, Brooke? [Perez Hilton]
  
• Nicole Richie's baby! On the cover of People! Cute! [People]
  
• Someone styled & shot Lindsay Lohan to look like a tired tranny hooker on the cover of Paper magazine. [The.Life Files]
  
• March 17: The date a judge will tell Sir Paul McCartney how many millions he has to give to ex Heather Mills. Mark your calendars! [Mirror]
  
• Is Amy Winehouse back on drugs? Friends say she feels rehab is turning her into "some sort of zombie with no emotion." She apparently says she feels "numb" and recently held a lighter over her hand and purposely burned her skin. Fuck. [The Sun]

• A court in Norway has postponed Amy's drug possession hearing. She was arrested there last October on charges of marijuana possession. She and Blake Incarcerated were due in court Friday, but Blake is due in court in the UK Friday, so he won't be able to make it. So many court dates, so little time. [USA Today]
• Gossip columnist Cindy Adams wrote that pregnant Nicole Kidman was drinking white wine backstage during the Oscars; Kidman's publicist, who was with Nicole backstage, says the beverage was tea and that Adams is "an idiot, and you can quote me." [News.com.au]
• Jenna Bush had a girls-only spa weekend bachelorette party in Boca Raton; her fiancé had a boys' weekend in Miami. [People]
• Jessica Simpson is traveling to Kuwait to "entertain" the troops. Just what they need. [People]
• High School Musical star Ashley Tisdale had a nose job in November; her recently released doll has her old nose. LOL. [MSNBC]
• Something is going on between Jonathan Jaxson of gossip site JJ's Dirt and Perez Hilton, but it's sort of too early to think about it. The gist: Sex tape in return for blogging help. "I fell in love with Perez. I thought he had a huge heart...but he's just a [bleep]hole," Jaxson says. YAWN. [Page Six]
• Jessica Alba says she was called a slut in 6th grade because she had big boobs. That ain't right. [Page Six]
• Did Selma Blair and model boyfriend Matt Felker split because he came home and found her with another man? [Gatecrasher]
• Britney Spears went to the Betsey Johnson store on Melrose in L.A. and asked if they could copy a Dolce & Gabbana dress. They were all, "uh, no." So she bought the yellow wig on a mannequin in the window. [Gatecrasher]
• The LAPD is investigating suspected drugger/robber Sam Lutfi, though they won't come out and say it. [TMZ]
• Kevin Federline is turning 30 next month with a huge party in Las Vegas. Think Brit's invited? [People]
• Lynne Spears has been praising her ex-husband Jamie for taking control of Britney's troubled life. A family friend says, "He's gathered a team of reputable people who are around [Britney] now. She's not well, but for the first time in a long time she has people around her who really care about her." [People]
• Gwyneth Paltrow has shot a public service announcement for UNICEF to raise money for HIV prevention. [People]
• Is Kate Hudson trying to bag Justin Timberlake? A source says she has been "texting him nonstop." But she's also seeing Owen Wilson, apparently. So. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which TV vixen, based in L.A., spent a lot of the writers' strike downtime in New York City? Word is that she was cheating on her boyfriend with her girlfriend." [Gatecrasher]
• That diamond band, wedding-ish ring Ashlee Simpson's been wearing? "It's a promise ring," she says. From Pete Wentz, natch. [Rush & Molloy]
• Bill Cosby is hosting the Playboy Jazz Festival, if you care. What would Claire Huxtable say? [AP]
• Isaiah Washington was on Capitol Hill meeting with the Congressional Black Caucus and lobbying to preserve the history of an island known off the coast of Sierra Leone. [Politico]
• A judge won't let Ja Rule post bail for his homies, who are co-defendants in a gun possession case. [Yahoo News]
• Josh Hartnett: Forced to fly coach. [Page Six]
• Oooh, Ludacris, Thandie Newton and Gerard Butler star in the new Guy Ritchie movie! [Page Six]
• Boy George denies he kept a 28-year-old Norwegian dude handcuffed in his apartment. Do you really want to hurt me??? [Yahoo News]
• Naomi Campbell remains hospitalized in Brazil, though her doctor says she is "completely cured and walking." Be well! [Yahoo News]