Bill Clinton Takes Photo With Sex Workers
TMZ is reporting that Bill Clinton took a photo with two sex workers from The Moonlite Bunny Ranch at an elite Unite4Humanity benefit in Los Angeles earlier this week. The photo, tweeted by Madison Graham, features a smiling Clinton in between sex workers Ava Adora and Barbie Girl. TMZ admits that Clinton probably had…
Miley Cyrus Gives 'Bill Clinton' a Blow Job on Bangerz Tour
As previously mentioned, Miley Cyrus's Bangerz tour features a few disquieting visuals. The 21-year-old singer rubs her crotch, rides a hot dog, and wears a leotard covered in pot leaves. And: In one Americana-themed segment of the program, she kneels in front of a gentleman clad in a tuxedo and a Bill Clinton mask,…
Hillary Clinton Says She Hasn't Driven a Car Since 1996
Hillary Clinton, former Secretary of State and rumored celestial body, has not driven a car since the mid 1990s. The dowager countess, at least, would approve.
White House Run Will Literally Kill Hillary, Says Dubious Source
The National Enquirer has published a "piece" or "article" called WHITE HOUSE RUN WILL KILL HILLARY. It reads like The Onion decided to take every article written about Hillary Clinton in the past few years and mash them together into a Hillary Clinton conspiracy theorist's wet dream.
[Women's rights activist Gloria Steinem, left, gestures toward Oprah Winfrey, as Oprah gives a "thumbs up" after Steinem during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House in Washington, Wednesday, Nov. 20, 2013, where President Barack Obama awarded Presidential Medals of Freedom. At center is fellow recipient…
Hillary Clinton's Relationship Status With 2016: It's Complicated
The buzz about Hillary Clinton's potential 2016 run for president started, as these things do, as soon as President Obama's reelection was confirmed. Within a week, PolicyMic said that she was the number one pick for a Democratic candidate, writing that "There's no one that Democrats would like to have running in…
Now You Can Have Sex in Monica Lewinsky's Old Clinton-Era Clothes
We know you've always wanted to bump uglies with someone wearing Monica Lewinsky's clothes. Or maybe you want to be wearing them yourself? It's the ultimate intern-boss fantasy, except it's hotter because it's nastier and impeachment is an aphrodisiac. Now an online company is offering you the chance to be the Monica…
Bill Clinton: Leave Hillary ALONE (Sob)
Hillary Clinton and the bid for the 2016 presidency: the biggest "will they or won't they" of our generation. The subject of endless speculation and probably countless Vision Boards across the nation. Also, according to Bill Clinton, a sad sign of "our national tendency to attention deficit disorder when it comes…
Lindsay Lohan Spends 2 Minutes in Rehab and Then Flees
After her lil' detour at an electronics store, Lindsay Lohan checked into rehab. Two minutes later, she checked out and derped away quickly, chanting: "I'm not going to rehab. I'm not going to rehab. Take me back to the airport."

