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KingCouth
11/02/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
Whoa I was JUST talking to a couple guy friends about this! I think the line, "if a man really can't handle it, maybe it's not the pubic hair that has to go," pretty much sums up our conclusions. Both guys are somewhat masculine, but overall just good, gentlemanly, chivalrous, kind, funny dudes. And not that getting the male perspective on this is the final word, but they both said that finding a bush would never ever stop them from eating some pussy. (Sorry, I hope I don't offend anyone, but that's exactly the way they put it).

In my experience, the dudes that are grossed out by pubic hair, have other issues. They're the ones overly obsessed with their own appearance, and also– they just don't love women. I don't mean they're homosexual, but they don't love, honor, and respect women they way they should. Perhaps I'm getting too deep on this, but I really think it's indicative of how much a man truly loves women. If he'll enthusiastically go down on you regardless of how long your pubic – or leg! – hair is, ignoring it along with granny panties and any other obstacle? He's the definition of a real man in my book! #advice
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PerinealFavorite
11/02/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
I'll just say this: I have never had anyone, man or woman, be turned off by my pubic hair. I have an average growth pattern with not a lot on my thighs and I don't shave at all. I trim it down about once every month or two, but that's it. I have had many people be pleasantly surprised by my pubic hair and more turned on for it. If hairlessness was once erotic because it was exotic and unexpected, I believe the reverse is happening now that everyone has jumped on the stupid hairlessness bandwagon. I believe my vulva is the new standard of sexy. #advice
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AlexanderL
11/02/09

@PerinealFavorite: "I believe my vulva is the new standard of sexy."

Priceless. Simply priceless. #advice
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eb244506001
11/02/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
oh my godddd. this has been the most talked about topic among my friends and for the past six years. we're 21 so yes, since we were 15, we've been worried. we KNOW what guys expect now and we're NOT okay with it. it's too much work, and pain, and not to mention completely goes against my feminist ideals...
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timt06
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
It's a funny little twist I've noticed but.. from my personal experience it's made an association.. shaved is porn, hair is real life, and so as such I think pubic hair is natural and beautiful on a girl.
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Natalie-Marie
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
We talked about this in my women's studies class last semester, the class decided that it was an effort for insecure men to make women more sexually non-threatening.

I think that makes sense.

I trim mine, but I'll NEVER wax. (Too scary). When my boyfriend told me he'd like it if I didn't do anything to them, I decided that I liked him even more. :)
I guess he missed the "conditioning" day in high school. #advice
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lurkerbynature
11/01/09

@Natalie-Marie: I don't really see the connection to threatening or non-threatening. It's more like the hair on the head for an "everyone has it" value than leg hair, the removal of which which makes more sense if you're looking at exaggerated sexual dimorphism.

I'd say that two more important influences are swim-suit styles and (most importantly) the fact that oral sex is no longer as taboo as it was. In my experience, personal preferences vary a lot more than the line about how porn is influencing expectations allows for. #advice
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clevernamehere
11/02/09

@lurkerbynature: High cut swim suits came in fashion in the 70s/80s and oral sex lost its taboo several decades ago.

I think "threatening" is taking it too far, but porn is the biggest influence. #advice
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smartiepops
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
I have had a guy say I needed to "do something" about the my pubic hair to match his preference and I was not amused. I should have asked him if he could grow another inch...since that's what I prefer. #advice
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petersterncan
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
Well it's not only men that have a skewed idea of what's normal. Plenty of women have a whacked out idea of what normal is too.

Some women seem to have the idea that men can always get hard at the drop of a hat with minimal stimulation... as seen in porn... except in reality, a lot of those male porn stars pop viagra like it's candy.

On the subject of pubic hair... personally I prefer if a woman has pubic hair. Being completely shaved/waxed to me sends the message of having sex with a "girl" rather than a "Woman".

But as well, I'm not a fan of mainstream porn with the completely hairless bodies, fake overdubbed sounds and same overdone procedure (BJ, followed by vaginal, followed by anal, followed by facial). The sex I see in mainstream porn is too formulaic and fake. It doesn't resemble what a real woman looks like when she climaxes for real. To me, there is nothing more hot than watching a woman's body shudder as she climaxes and feel her squirt all over me.

Many men and women don't even know that women are capable of squirting... or don't even realize it's NOT urine.

This is one of the consequences of not having REAL sex education in school. What we have right now in schools is a sterilized sorry excuse for sex education that seems to be more focused on instilling fear into kids (by mainly focusing on pregnancy and STDs) rather than teaching the WHOLE picture. Honestly I think it would be healthy if, as part of sex education, everyone had to get totally naked and see themselves as they are and realize what real people look like. Yeah there would be embarrassment... but part of growing up is actually having to deal with stuff like that.

But when it comes to sex and *intimacy*, many quarters of society want to deal with things by *not* dealing with them. #advice
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CrapCommentFromADude
11/03/09

@petersterncan: "Some women seem to have the idea that men can always get hard at the drop of a hat with minimal stimulation... as seen in porn... except in reality, a lot of those male porn stars pop viagra like it's candy. "

I forget who it was, but some porn star's autobiography had a chapter titled "Dear Sweet Jesus, Please Let Me Get An Erection".

It's the reason 99% of guys can't hack it in porn. If it happens to you once or twice, you're basically washed out of the business. #advice
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Tambar
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
My OB/GYN said she sees several cases a month of contact dermatitis from there not being hair to protect delicate skin where there should be. #advice
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
11/01/09

@Tambar: That really says it all, IMO. #advice
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AnotherJenn
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
When it comes to waxing, how many women really have the extra $50 a month to spend? Why is pubic hair removal always talked about as if waxing is the norm when most women who remove their pubes actually shave? Is it because it sounds more reasonable when the language doesn't bring to mind dragging razors across ones genitals? #advice
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JillJitsu
11/01/09

@AnotherJenn: i think id rather drag a razor over my own genitals than trust a complete stranger with god-only-knows what sort of training to slather hot wax over them and rip off. but, thats me... #advice
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cirocco
11/01/09

@JillJitsu: For real! The only people permitted between my legs are a) my lover and b) members of the medical profession. There is no way in hell someone with a G.E.D. and nine months of cosmetology school is messing with my junk. (Unless a future lover of mine is a beautician, I guess, falling under the first category. That would be nice-- free haircolor and blow-outs.) #advice
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AnotherJenn
11/01/09

@JillJitsu: I would too. Still, when pubic hair removal is discussed in articles it's always "waxing," as if the norm is for all women to spend $50 a month to have a stranger rip out her pubes. Not only was the advice columnist telling that woman she MUST remove hair, she was told she must spend good money to do so. #advice
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ceilidh
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
So because men have become "conditioned" by watching porn, we're supposed to behave that way. So my boyfriend is going to expect me to fuck every pizza delivery guy and cable repair man who comes to the door. Well, I guess I have to, if that's what he's been conditioned to expect! #advice
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intime
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
The idea of waxing my pubes sounds like some kind of hideous torture. Those are very tender parts down there! I think naked pubes on a woman are more than pornographic - they are pedophilic. After all - little girls are the ones with no hair on their pubes.

That's what these men want - a little girl.

Yuk! #advice
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MyNameIsChris
11/01/09

@intime: I think you're being absurd taking it to pedophile levels. Conceptually is it that different from waxing/shaving legs or armpits or anything else? It's the process of taking hair that naturally grows on your body off - for whatever reason you have. Are men who prefer women with shaved legs also pedophiles? #advice
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cirocco
11/01/09

@intime: So, is a woman who prefers a man without a beard or mustache also a pedophile? After all, little boys are the ones with no hair on their faces. #advice
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intime
11/02/09

@cirocco: I'm talking about pubes - not the rest of the body. #advice
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sybann
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
Wow - comments missing much? #advice
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cirocco
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
Is anyone else nearly overwhelmed by an impulse to grow a giant, Chewbacca-like bush when they read an article like this one, just to be contrary? Or is it just me? #advice
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
11/01/09

@cirocco: Not just you. ;-) #advice
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cand86
11/01/09

@cirocco: One of my favorite porn stars was growing out hir "disco bush" (and "disco gutter", in the back), and totally inspired me to do the same.

It's decent now, but it just doesn't seem to be progressing as fast and Chewbacca-like as I want it . . . #advice
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cirocco
11/01/09

@cirocco: If any aspirational Wookiees need some inspiration, please to be enjoying Peaches's "Set It Off." (The sequence around the 2:30 mark on forward. This is in no way safe for work, unless you work at the Crazy Girls revue in Vegas.)

[www.videosift.com] #advice
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zfitz
11/01/09

@cirocco: I know Jezebels are supposed to hate the late Jane magazine, but I remember that it had a feature on pubic grooming and whoever was writing it was trying to figure out why it was impossible for her to grow her pubes down to her knees as a big eff-you to the whole thing. I always think about that when I read these. It cheers me up. #advice
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MyNameIsChris
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
I find it hard to believe any 28 year old male with a somewhat normal (whatever that is) amount of experience in life has never seen pubic hair. This whole thing is a sham or there is something off about this guy's story. #advice
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sumerfish
11/01/09

@MyNameIsChris: The only dude who saw me naked and was "repulsed" by my neat trim and bare bikini line (as opposed to the "cleaner" full brazilian) also refused to prepare food or touch women below the breasts with his hands because it was "icky".

So these men exist, but they are extremely weird. #advice
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MyNameIsChris
11/01/09

@sumerfish: Wait, wait, wait... literally used the word "icky?" Weird. Anyway, I'm sure there's plenty of dudes that only like women totally waxed. That's not shocking... but I'd imagine they can't be that shocked when they do encounter hair on occasion. It's the surprise that catches me as odd. I mean, I've spent the vast majority of my life in Los Angeles and you certainly see some brazilians, but hardly universal. #advice
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sumerfish
11/01/09

@MyNameIsChris: Who only like women totally waxed? As in, they will turn down sex with an otherwise attractive woman because of a quarter inch long triangle or landing strip? I find that hard to believe. #advice
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MyNameIsChris
11/01/09

@sumerfish: Well, Arthur Kade would. I don't know who's turning down sex based on it, but I assume somebody must be. Or if nothing else there are surely guys keeping things as a one night stand and blowing the girl off once they encounter the horror of pubic hair. I mean... well... people are weird, man. #advice
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thehighshelf
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
Someone should tell Suzi that "instinctive" and "conditioned" are not words that can be used interchangeably. #advice
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
11/01/09

@thehighshelf: I hope that someone isn't the same one responsible for having given her a column in the first place. #advice
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