It's summer, and you know what that means: Three straight months of swimsuit fuckery!

Last week, President Barack Obama and his family were in Hawaii for their annual Christmas vacation. Photographers captured several moments of POTUS during the trip, including a jaunt to a shave ice shop and a golf outing. Some vacation shots, like this one, are actually released by the White House itself. But when a…

If you read tabloids or ladymags, pay attention to advertising campaigns, or happen to live on planet Earth, you know that the one thing women are supposed to strive for — more than a functioning body, a healthy body, or a strong body — is a bikini body.

Kelly Osbourne is on the December issue of Shape (for some reason, she's not standing thigh-deep in water, like most of the mag's cover models), and she tells the magazine that negative commentary in the press really affected her.

Memorial Day is right around the corner, and folks are selecting beach/plane/train reading. The editors at the celebrity weeklies seem to think we want loads of ladies in bikinis and detailed diet tips. Here's the problem:

So much drama today in Midweek Madness! There might be four SATC flicks; Heidi Montag's a prisoner in her own home; Lindsay Lohan's telling her little sister to get a nose job and implants, James Franco's student film features penises.