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New York, New York

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hellosunshine
04/14/09

In reply to New York, New York
Oh, New York. I don't remember my first day, because I was pretty upset about leaving Texas, but I know my parents and I argued and had fucking awesome pizza in our hotel room. Though my first night alone there, I walked to the diner across the street and stepped over a homeless dude sleeping on the steps.

Ah, stories for the grandkids.
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MeganGlass 就是一个古代的三明治
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
I was on a bus in seattle (greatest town for crazy people stories, BTW) and some old guy was sitting in his seat and just peed. He sat in it for a few minutes, pulled the cord, and got off at his stop, leaving a SMALL LAKE OF PEE in the contours of the seat he was in.
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brendastarlet is on it
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
It must be an NYC rite of passage -- public exposure, following by a mugging. Happened to me.
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stacyinbean
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
Awww, I got flashed by a homeless guy on a stoop on my second night of college in Boston. It was like, "Welcome to the city, girl!"
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Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
It's like how the first time I ventured into backroads rural Missouri I saw a dead housecat lying in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the town's only bar.
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hfree
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
My first apartment in NY had a homeless person who was always outside and was rather fond of taking dumps and whipping out his johnson, often when my mother was visiting (and this was in a nice area). Ah NYC.
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Ailatan
04/13/09

@hfree: That's the thing, if I were homeless I would go to the nicer places. Why would I want to slum it? That's the "beauty" of being homeless you get to stay in more upsacale places.
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eff it...let's get a taco.
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
I saw a guy masturbating between cars on eighth ave the first month I moved to new york. since then, I have seen that a lot.once, dangerously close to my head on the subway.ahh, new york.
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rah29
04/13/09

@eff it...let's get a taco.: Um, I saw this in Cardiff (Wales). Except the guy was looking straight at me and my friends, safe inside our hostel, while he was having a toss. And when we got up and started pointing at him and screaming and laughing, he kept right at it.

I also saw a woman pissing on the street at about 10pm, not on the side, just right in the middle of the pavement, tiny skirt up around her waist.

I've lived in New York. Trust me; Cardiff is scarier.
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HereComesMyBaby
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
My friend was on the subway reading when she realized that everyone besides this one homeless man had left the subway car. Then she realized the man had shat himself and that the poop was drifting toward her.

JUST SHARING.
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hydrogen_jukebox
04/13/09

@HereComesMyBaby: That's one of the first unwritten rules of NYC: If there's an empty subway car anytime after 6AM, you're not lucky: it's because the AC is broken, or it STINKS to high heaven.
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Ailatan
04/13/09

@HereComesMyBaby: Same thing but vomit. People are arseholes sometimes, couldn't they give you a heads up?
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HereComesMyBaby
04/13/09

@Ailatan: "I'M POOPING! IN THE SUBWAY!"

Haha, a heads up would be amazing.
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Ailatan
04/13/09

@HereComesMyBaby: ha ha ha!
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NewsBunny
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
Then there was the homeless dude who, it appears, could not afford a belt.

When the subway car lurched forward, his pants fell to his ankles.

His ass was filthy -- not bad.
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hydrogen_jukebox
04/13/09

@NewsBunny: Was this in/near Penn Station? Because if it was, I've seen that guy. Stinks up a 20 foot radius, poor thing.

If not...tell him I know where his brother hangs out.
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Ailatan
04/13/09

@NewsBunny: There is a homeless guy near my flat that throws bottles to taxis. On Saturday he shattered a windscreen and the taxi driver thought that he had to get his revenge. Long story short: the homeless dude broke other stuff on the taxi with a chair from a café.

When he lifted the chair we had a glimpse of the filthiest torso I had ever seen.
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NewsBunny
04/13/09

@hydrogen_jukebox: Really tall? Long Beard?

Have you seen the Flossing Guy? Has colorful hankerchiefs in his pocket and flosses his teeth like he's at home?
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hydrogen_jukebox
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
The first time my boyfriend and I went to Central Park, we walked through one of those romantic looking tunnel/bridge things along the path, holding hands.

Five steps in, we realize we can't take the piss stench, and run back out to look for another way around.
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RayneDear
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
Keep your big city madness! I'll take the simple pleasures...like driving along a pasture and seeing a rancher's son making sweet, sweet love to a shep on a crisp spring morning. Aaaah, country livin'!
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Fridge Hussy : Is finally heading back to uni!
04/13/09

@RayneDear: Was that a sheep, or a shepherd of the canine variety?
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taffy
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
Upon my first visit to New York City, I saw dead dog on the side of the road with a prostitute trying to flag down a john only 3 feet away from it but that story is very drab in comparision to Mr. Shitty Wall Man!
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BabyJane
04/13/09

@taffy: I'd rather see a guy shit than the dead dog.
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NewsBunny
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
My first week in New York --

I was approaching a man who was, it appears, pissing up against aside the side of my work building at four AM.

The urine streamed across the sidewalk.

He looked over his shoulder at me and said -- Ma'am! Watch your step!

That was my Welcome to New York.
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Ailatan
04/13/09

@NewsBunny: He had manners! That's so heart warming.
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chritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfish
04/13/09

@NewsBunny: Awww, that's a heartwarming tale. He actually said "Ma'am"? Must be another graduate of Public Urinator Finishing School.
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NewsBunny
04/13/09

@chritter: He did! I actually thanked him.
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Ailatan
04/13/09

@chritter: PUFS?
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chritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfish
04/13/09

@Ailatan: It's a satellite campus of the CUNY Public Relief with Panache (PRP) outreach school.
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Ailatan
04/13/09

@chritter: what great they do!
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hellosunshine
04/14/09

@NewsBunny: Aw, that's sweet that he was so considerate!

(Related: I miss New York.)
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NefariousNewt
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
NYC: City of a Thousand Feces.
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BabyJane
04/13/09

@NefariousNewt: True. It's full of interesting poople.
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NefariousNewt
04/13/09

@BabyJane: I just wish I could give a crap.
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GeorgeFayne
04/13/09

@BabyJane: It makes me want to scat out of my small town and visit.
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marshmallory
04/13/09

In reply to New York, New York
The Sedarises (Sedarii?) have to be the most bizarre, hilarious, entertaining people in the world. How would I go about getting adopted by them?
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