In the article, Allen traces the marketing of "Female Sexual Dysfunction" (FSD) — yes, the affliction itself, since you can't start marketing a cure until enough people are convinced they have the disease — which might more accurately (if less amusingly) be described as "Listless Vagina Syndrome". "The FDA's evolving definition of FSD includes decreased desire or arousal, sexual pain and orgasm difficulties — but only if the woman feels 'personal distress' about it. So, convincing women to feel distress is a key component of the drug company strategy to market a multi-billion-dollar pill that will cure billions of women of what may not ail them."

And even though the FDA has not yet approved a treatment for Listless Vagina Syndrome, the campaign to inform women that our sex lives are inadequate — but treatable! — is already working. Doctors have written 1.4 million off-label prescriptions for Viagra and 2 million off-label prescriptions for testosterone in an effort to alleviate FSD. And they have done this despite absolutely no evidence that either one will help a flagging female libido! Not to mention, "as filmmaker Liz Canner shows in her excellent new documentary Orgasm, Inc., testosterone is usually teamed with estrogen, which increases risks for stroke, cancers and dementia." Fantastic! Not only will your non-existent illness not be cured, but you might get a whole new one!

I should pause here to point out that there are doubtless plenty of women who wish their libidos were more active, or who otherwise suffer from something that could rightly be termed "sexual dysfunction." And as someone whose life was changed very much for the better by an ADHD diagnosis, I am wary of making any "It's all a plot by Big Pharma!" arguments that erase people who have real problems supposedly invented by greedy drug manufacturers. Nevertheless, the genuine existence of a disorder doesn't mean that aggressive marketing can't lead to an epidemic of overprescription and — especially when it comes to female sexuality — self-recrimination. And it's no coincidence that "experts" in FSD often have ties to pharmaceutical giants. Increased awareness of Female Sexual Dysfunction might be helpful to some women, but it's important that we're at least equally aware of a far more widespread sickness. As Allen puts it:

The companies and clinics that narrow the range of sexual normality to porn industry standards suffer their own disease. Symptoms include: a compulsion to concoct illnesses and then develop drugs to treat them, and vice versa. Either way, the syndrome is typically accompanied by a rash of conflicts of interest.

Restless Vagina Syndrome [In These Times]

The class was based on cognitive behavioral principles, and Maran and the other "stressed-out survivors plugged away, and after two months I was stunned to discover that I had less anxiety, and more tools in my psychological repertoire, than talk therapy had yielded in 20 years." She continues to use her "little yellow pills" to help her manage her anxiety in the rough spots, but Maran still can't shake the theory "that the popularity of the behavioral/pharmaceutical cocktail is driven more by what's good for Big Pharma than by what's good for semi-psychos like me."

Anxiety expert Jerilyn Ross listens to Maran's concerns and then tells her:"So what if it's a conspiracy? It works…The psychoanalysts say we're putting Band-Aids on our patient's problems. I say if it stops the bleeding, who cares?" Yeah, I know it's sort of Orwellian with all the mind control but I completely agree. Now where are my pills?

When Panic Attacks! [Salon]
Girl Dies After Cancun Senior Class Trip [CBS News]

In a presentation by Lybrel's maker, Wyeth, to investors and analysts last October, Dr. Ginger D. Constantine, the company's therapeutic director for women's health, laid the groundwork. Citing company-backed studies, she reported that menstruating women feel less effective at work and take more sick days. Not only that, but they don't exercise and they wear dark clothes more often, she said.

The pharmaceutical industry is sort of like women's magazines: Staffed by blandly attractive people determined to make you feel bad about yourself, and brimming with new ways to kill your libido. But wait! Pillhead may have found the elusive pink Viagra! In her second installment, Jezebel's resident pharmaceutical expert takes a break from the body obsession to have sex like RIGHT NOW. The crucial ingredient? Amphetamine salts... better known as Adderall. There are all sorts of reasons to take Adderall, from its appetite curbage (its original marketed use, when it was called Obetrol and Andy Warhol used to pop them like, well like we pop Adderall today!) to the whole "serenity" thing, to the fact that it turns some people into geniuses (though not so much others). But enough already, let's get down to business! And you know what we mean by business.

I've been taking "Adds" occasionally ever since I got hooked up with my bad doctor two years ago, but usually I just sell them to my friends. About a month ago, though, I started taking 5mg quarters more often and later in the day, and noticed a dramatic change in my libido and, uh, "performance".

A little background: I'm one of those chicks who comes from regular sex. Before you hate me, though, I can't stand receiving oral sex and it's been an "issue" in every relationship I've ever been in, so there are trade-offs. I usually have an orgasm during intercourse about 60% of the time, mainly because sometimes I'm lazy and don't feel like "going for it." Also, that cliche about women making their grocery lists during sex is a cliche for a reason, but we can't help it! It's hard to focus sometimes! Anyway, ever since a Ritalin-induced month of no libido a few years ago, I have assumed that, even though it's an amphetamine, Adderall would be bad for sex. After all, "decreased libido" and "impotence" are listed as possible sexual side effects.

Not listed as possible sexual side effects, however? The fact that it can turn some people into sex machines!* Below, an addendum to the side effects I'll call the "sex effects".

• Wanting sex all the time. Like now. At work. Especially after seeing the Lachey/Minnillo sex photos which would normally have the opposite effect.
  
• Foreplay? What foreplay? Just stick it in already!
  
• As soon as it is, uh, stuck in, I realize that I can come immediately if I want to and that I'm actually going to have to find a way to hold off. I'm going to have to get ESPN so I'll know enough about baseball to think about it.
  
• Coming twice: By myself, and then about a minute later when my partner comes. The first time this happened I actually shrugged and mouthed "I don't know either!" (I'm sure that was really flattering.) Now it happens, like, every other time.
  
• There's something different about sex on Adderall that I couldn't put my finger on until the other night: It's way more physical than mental. Needless to say, my guy loves my rebirth as an easy-to-please Adderall sex fiend, but there's only one drawback: I don't feel like giving another blow job ever again. Oh well. Tradeoffs!

*And it's not just me! I did some Googling and found more cases like mine:
"I can literally have an orgasm just sitting in a chair."
"Orgasm is like a thousand times more intense."
"It's almost starting to bother me because I orgasm very quickly." (Heh. If only everyone had that as a problem.)

The FDA reviewed clinical studies of the drug as well as post-marketing reports of the drug from Europe. The agency said the 20-milligram dose of Acomplia "statistically, significantly increased suicidality" compared to placebo or a fake drug.

"The excess fat that passes out of your body isn't harmful, but you should be prepared for the possibility of it happening," cautioned a book, Are You Losing It?, that GlaxoSmithKline was distributing, Dianetics-like, at the pavilion. "In fact, you may recognize it as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza."

Allis Folly [NYObserver]
Related: Round Table Pizza

Furthermore, Oprah never uses her medical insurance anymore because once after getting blood tests done she later saw a screaming headline in a rag, she said, with the headline, "Oprah tests negative for AIDS"

• She checks into hotels under the alias "Billie Jo McAllister." But probably not anymore!
• She's going to Africa. And so, apparently, are lots of other celebrities! So many that Vanity Fair has found twenty of them for one of those huge massive celebrity clusterfuck covers on which they always save all the black people for inside the gatefold!
• Some guy's sister thought the Michael Moore movie — It was screened for guests on the show! With complimentary popcorn! — was really good, and she's totally a nurse from North Carolina whose sister is a pharmaceutical sales rep so she was bound to take issues with it. Random, we know! But we were a little weirded out when we heard that Michael Moore was making the point that health care in Cuba is better than here. Isn't there a country in the European Union that could sort of better illustrate that point? Like maybe every single one? Anyway, what we're saying is that it's good to know Southerners are feeling it, you know? Like maybe the terrorists HAVEN'T won?
• No gum allowedin Oprah's studio, and if you are in Oprah's studio audience and you need to cough, you are supposed to alert an usher who will DISPENSE A COUGH DROP. Uh, yeah, like, Virgo much, Oprah?

Oprah Pays Cash For All Her Medical Procedures [Confessions of a Paparazzi]