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Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect

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ceejeemcbeegee is not here
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
I'm gonna say this again... Michelle is gonna be aiight.

For real. Black women (and, I'd argue, woman in general) have been dealing with these amplified expectations and constant critique for generations. This isn't something new. Well, not in my opinion.

And she has repeatedly stated that she is choosing to be "First Mom". Was she reluctant? Perhaps. Does she have further career aspirations? Maybe. But she seems to have come to terms with the role and appears excited to take it on. Can we just take her at her word and move the hell on?

57 days and counting...
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
They are an awe-inspiringly beautiful couple. It's been said, I know. But every picture one sees of those two crazy kids just keeps bringing that point home. He's a lucky man, for sure. She rocks my world. Him, too, but that's another story. The same stars that appeared in my eyes on the morning of Nov. 5th are still there and glowing just as brightly.
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ArtfulSlinger
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
Um we are listening to a French, one-time supermodel cum singer and First Lady for career advice? Come on.

Michelle Obama and what she will or wont do will remain a story because the media can not help themselves to over analyze and regurgitate the same calculated crap about this First Lady, similarly like what they did to Hillary the first term.
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PilgrimSoul
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
What I do not understand about either side of this argument is that it is neither obviously true that Michelle Obama is all rainbows and sunshine about the turn her life has taken nor that she hates it. The culprit here is having a reductive narrative; it isn't just the content of the narrative that's objectionable. Put simply: Michelle Obama is not either "too smart" to be happy staying at home or "blissfully happy" about it. That's not how anyone's life works.

I swear, all this random romaticization - in any direction - about the inner lives of the First Family is gonna drive me bonkers. Just warning everyone. :)
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ceejeemcbeegee is not here
11/24/08

@PilgrimSoul: Word. Why does it have to be one or the other? All or nothing?
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heykoukla
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
Oh, Megan, you left off another challenge for Michelle: remember Karl Lagerfeld's comments about Carla Bruni?

"She's imaginative, clever, educated...It must be an embarrassment for the wives of other heads of state to see this beautiful creature who can wear anything and speak like that.

Sorry Karl, but I think Michelle Obama can kick Bruni's arse on every level.
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Brigit
11/24/08

@heykoukla: Hell Yes! every.single.oneofthem.
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rednrowdy
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
my sense from interviews and such is that she's going to do what she normally does, except now she's a first lady. as much of a big deal as all of this is (and it is a huge, huge deal), the quickest way to madness is to believe all the hype. she's keeping everything down to earth and very very real. other people's expectations of her are just that; other people's.
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stoprobbers
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
I don't know why anyone is surprised by this. This is what has been expected of every First Lady since, well, since the inception of the country, and since the cultural storm that was Jackie (aka The Most Beloved Of All First Ladies, Ever, EVER), increasing importance has been put on the "perfection" of these presidential spouses.

As I said in a reply already, the First Lady is, in effect, an unofficial part of the State Department. She is Mother, she is Wife, and she is Hostess. She hobknobs with the spouses of the international elite, and if you think she's got Obama's ear, well, those spouses have their partners' ears as well. Her ability to be devoted 100% to the job of being both a gracious host and "perfect" mother/American woman may seem backwards or un-progressive, but she will serve an incredibly important function in this administration. Think of it this way: the foreign policy experience which is being used to justify Hillary's appointment to Secretary of State is largely experience garnered in her time as First Lady. Michelle has a big and important job in front of her, and I think she's going to do fantastically.
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badmutha
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
Running for office is a sacrifice that the whole family makes. And you don't just jump in with eyes closed. She's a smart lady and she will be great.
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Brigit
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
Michelle looks like my first Barbie. A kickass supermodel black Barbie that moved her head when you moved her legs, so she could sashay down the catwalk. So haters, you can go ahead and sock it.
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eff it...let's get a taco.
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
I'm exhausted for her. I shall nap now in solidarity.
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stealthird
11/24/08

@musetta82: I'll join you. I'm rather sleepy myself.
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stoprobbers
11/24/08

@musetta82: If you guys are napping in solidarity, can you grab about 20 minutes on my behalf?
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brendastarlet is on it
11/24/08

@stealthird: I'm eating Trader Joe's Popped Potato Chips in solidarity.

@Political Party Girl: I'm not sure I'd say "quite a bit." She was making $300,000 a year in the University of Chicago health system up until just a few months ago. It isn't like she quit working when he announced for president: she worked through the caucuses and most of the primaries.

Also, for anybody who thinks being First Lady doesn't lead to anything, I'd point out that Eleanor Roosevelt and Jacqueline Onassis and Hillary Clinton all had successful careers afterwards. We don't need to worry about Michelle.
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Political Party Girl
11/24/08

@brendastarlet is on it: I'm not talking about money nor am I "worried" about Michelle. Yes, she was working, but now she has at least 4 years in which she has no choice but to be First Lady. I'm not demeaning the position, but I doubt Michelle went to law school dreaming of being First Lady. I'm not saying she's some kind of martyr, just that she has made sacrifices in her career and her family life for Barack to be president. Christ, we all make sacrifices and compromises in our own lives. Why must the Obamas be any different? Why do we demand perfection from them?

Obviously Michelle has weighed the pros and cons and decided the benefits are worth the drawbacks. But to portray it as if this is what she wanted -- to lose her privacy, to have her every move scrutinized, to put her daughters in the national spotlight -- is disingenuous.
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brendastarlet is on it
11/24/08

@Political Party Girl: yes, but I think if you asked her, she'd say it was an honor, and mean it.

I don't think she went to law school dreaming of First Lady, but she clearly wanted a husband and a family, because they married relatively young and she had her kids in her 30s. There are women who wait longer, or don't marry or have kids at all to pursue their careers. When you sign up with somebody, it stops being all about you.
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EkaterinaBallerina
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
You have to wonder how this would have played out if Hillary had won and Bill was our "First Gentleman" (what would we call him? I just made that up) Would we actually have seen Bubba hosting cocktail and holiday parties? You almost see him with that fake, "what are you talking about, I totally want to be here?" smile plastered across his face at the annual Christmas party.
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clevernamehere
11/24/08

@ekaterinaballerina: Bubba would have LOVED being first gentleman. That man is all about the gladhanding.
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stoprobbers
11/24/08

@clevernamehere: He'd have been brilliant at it, too.
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stacyinbean
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
I always wonder why people look at this as Michelle giving something up for Barack. Isn't it possible that this is THEIR dream? Together? Sure, he gets the title, but who thinks he doesn't consult with her on pretty much everything? It's very annoying.
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emilyanne
11/24/08

@stacyinbean: yeah now you see that's a really good point. When my husband got his job offer in New York I had to leave a pretty good job at a national newspaper and I did it because we had both always wanted to live in this city and I was lucky to have the option to freelance. But the point is that it was our dream, not simply his and I was happy to work round it and if it had been me with the big job offer then he would have quit for me. So yes I do think it's annoying that people persist on seeing the Obamas as a poor Michelle story.
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stacyinbean
11/24/08

@emilyanne: @green_ipod: I just think it's really unfair to act as if this wasn't something they decided on TOGETHER. They seem to be every bit the family and I doubt many decisions are made without consultation between the two. If Michelle wasn't ready and willing to step away from her job, focus completely on here children, and help Barack win, none of this would have happened.
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Political Party Girl
11/24/08

@stacyinbean: True, but even Barack wrote (in Dreams of my Father, I think) about how she was angry with and even resentful of him when he first ran for congress. Michelle and Barack are both very aware of what she has given up for him. Maybe her dreams have changed and this is what she wants to do now. I'm not saying she had no say in the matter, but there's no denying she has sacrificed quite a bit for his political career.
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taranwanderer
11/24/08

@stacyinbean: YES! It is so obvious that their marriage is a partnership -- one of mutual respect and equal cooperation. I'm sure she knew exactly what she was getting into when they discussed this possibility TOGETHER.
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ceejeemcbeegee is not here
11/24/08

@Political Party Girl: Yes. THEN. But NOW... it's cool.
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Lizawithazee
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
Oh, it's like being a bride-to-be or a pregnant lady. Everybody projects their hopes and dreams and baggage about marriage and children onto you. Only it's the whole frigging world, projecting their hopes and dreams of humanity onto you.

She should just go out, get drunk, vomit on a VIP and be seen schlepping around in baggy yoga pants and a Che t-shirt right now and get that perfection thing behind her, stat.
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NefariousNewt
11/24/08

@Lizawithazee: Very true. Plus, she is considered a representative of black people everywhere, so there are even more pressures put on her. It's all quite ridiculous. I hope she just is who she is, does her job of being First Lady (yes, it is a job!) with panache and flair, and then kicks around the residence in her sweatpants and baggy T-shirt.
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Brigit
11/24/08

@NefariousNewt: Also, a role model for all minority girls everywhere. It's a tough, tough spot to be on, but I'm glad they can look up to her.
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browngirlinthering
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
why is it prohibited for her to work? i can't figure it out on google
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stoprobbers
11/24/08

@browngirlinthering: I'm pretty sure it has to do with the fact that the US President is both Head of State and Head of Government. In places like England and France, in which the Queen or the President is Head of State and the Prime Minister is Head of Government (for instance, in the UK, the queen must give the elected PM permission to form a government before he can officially begin his term), First Ladies can work without fear that their associations may unduly influence the PM, because the PM does not have the last word in any way. However, in the US, Barack Obama is about to be the be-all, end-all of our governing; if the First Lady were to hold a job, her associations may unduly influence the governance of our country, and keeping special interests out of the upper echelons of government is part of the reason our democracy is set up the way it is (how well that works is an entirely different debate).

For the record, if a female were elected President, her husband would not be allowed to work either.

I'm also pretty sure there are some security reasons as well. And, come to think of it, the First Lady has an enormous number of engagements and hosting duties that she must take care of; she's like an informal part of the State Deptartment.
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brendastarlet is on it
11/24/08

@stoprobbers: @ginseng_you_sing: Eleanor Roosevelt wrote a nationally syndicated newspaper column, "My Day," while she was first lady. Six days a week, to boot. (Ask me anything about Eleanor, I'm a mini-expert.)

[www.pbs.org]
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ginseng_you_sing
11/24/08

In reply to Michelle Obama Must Not Be Anything Less Than Perfect
Is it a requirement that the First Lady to put her career on hold? Could there be exceptions?
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taranwanderer
11/24/08

@ginseng_you_sing: What if she wanted to be a writer? Could she do that? Freelancers and authors can work from anywhere.
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