Why is it that Lisa Kudrow, of all the Friends, seems to possess the least taint? Is it living in France half the time? Is it elegant dresses like this? Is it the strange shoes? Is it some combination of Romy and Michelle and The Opposite of Sex?


Christina Ricci takes on two bold elements: pastel satin and a high neckline. While I envy her neither back rides nor the inevitable adjustments every time a photographer turns away.


Ditto Erika Alexander. Indeed, perhaps there should be an unofficial ban on satin dresses on the grounds of "reminiscent of What Not to Wear reveal outfit."


Benjamin Bratt and Talisa Soto are, obviously, a gorgeous couple. Too bad I can't tear my eyes away from his weirdly well-pressed dad jeans.


Michelle Krusiec's little frock is unexceptionable but these square-boxed sandals always give me bad junior-prom flashbacks. Which makes me wonder why even a 16-year-old who was me thought a vintage nightgown without a bra looked remotely like eveningwear.


Behold Brolin and Lane in celeb disguise, the kind that makes one immediately think "that's a celebrity" before you recognize them. In fact, as a public service, someone should really send a memo to Variety explaining that real people don't wear sunglasses and baseball caps, particularly indoors.


Lorielle New's getup compelled me to visit her website, which features smooth music, describes her as "a hardworking Hollywood actress" and features live chat with her every day at 5.


This is, we believe, Chaz Bono's first public appearance since announcing his transition; girlfriend Jennifer was in attendance, too.


[Images via Getty]

• According to this report, Jennifer Aniston is "struggling" to stay away from John Mayer:

Last week she sent him a "hand-delivered, perfumed note" before one of his concerts, and it read, "Play well, you always do." Then she moped around her mansion and sobbed giant old lonely spinster tears. [Daily Express]

• Rihanna is reportedly not nervous about testifying in court today. [E!, NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown will be working with Keri Hilson. [E!]
• Chris Brown will listen to Rihanna give a detailed description of how he struck her in the car today. And: Um, his next song may be called "Smash." [TMZ]
• Madonna's new daughter Mercy was flown to London of the weekend. [People, NY Daily News]
• "Eliza Manyoza, a banana vendor in Malawi's colonial-era capital Zomba, says she has never heard a Madonna song. She only knows the American pop icon as an "adopter" of orphaned children. 'I am told she is a nice woman who wants to help our children.'" [Breitbart]
• Anna Faris married Chris Pratt in Hawaii on Saturday. In the photograph, Pratt is wearing, tight, star-spangled flag-inspired swim trunks. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan has a new tattoo that the paparazzi can't read, even though they zoomed in on her arm as she arrived at Samantha Ronson's house in L.A. But actually, the big mystery in these photographs? LL's choice of hideous shoes. [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan's new show with Ryan Seacrest is all about giving people on the wrong track a second chance. [TMZ, NY Daily News]
• "Jon on Father's Day: 'I Don't Know' Where Kate Is." [People]
• Is Jon Gosselin moving to NYC? [NY Daily News]
• Was Perez Hilton assaulted by Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas? And if so, why did Perez use Twitter as a means of alerting the cops? Wouldn't a phone be quicker? [Digital Spy, TechCrunch]
• Will.I.Am has a video response, in which he says Perez was rude to Fergie and called Will a "faggot," and then fans went crazy. [Dipdive]
• A play-by-play of Evan Rachel Wood at a trapeze lesson. [The New Yorker]
• One of the cops who is under investigation for breaking into the home of the woman acting as a surrogate for Sarah Jessica Parker originally said he was trying to sell stuff to the National Enquirer, but now he says: "I'm not exactly sure. If the National Enquirer didn't have anything to do with this, then I publicly apologize." [TMZ]
• By the by, Sarah Jessica Parker has a new car but doesn't know how to turn the lights on. [Page Six]
• If Victoria Beckham had her breast implants reduced or removed so that she could be in Vogue, it's just another testament to the power of Anna Wintour. [Daily Mail]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Back on? [Daily Mail]
• Is Prince William shopping for a "Malibu honeymoon pad"? [Daily Express]
• When Prince William and Kate Middleton booked a vacation house, they used the names Mr. and Mrs. Smith. [Telegraph]
• Prince Harry's been hanging out with ex Chelsy Davy. [The Sun]
• Kanye and Amber are still "very happy and affectionate." [The Sun]
• According to this report, Foxy Brown was "pampered" during her stay at Rikers Island — she got meals in her cell, makeup and unlimited TV and phone use. [NY Post]
• Joel Madden says Nicole Richie's second pregnancy is "a lot easier" than the first: "You've already been through it and it's not as intense and dramatic. We're a little more relaxed. It's actually kind of nice." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne is working on a book called Fierce: "It's about all the major things girls go through before they turn 21," she explains. "It's 16 chapters where I explain what I did and where I went wrong, and then I offer professional advice on how to do things differently." Noted. [WWD]
• Here's a Father's Day column penned by Nicole Kidman, who says: "My father, Anthony, is a very good and decent man. He's Catholic, and he has a strong set of values based on religion, but which really come down to being a good person, being tolerant of other people, and doing unto others what you would wish them to do to you." [Daily Mail]
• Rachel Bilson is so close to Hayden Christensen's family, his grandmother calls her "my future granddaughter." [Page Six]
• Dennis Quaid and his wife have agreed to a $500,000 settlement with the hospital that nearly killed his newborn twins by overdosing them with blood thinner. [USA Today]
• Cloris Leachman filmed a guest spot for Jada Pinkett Smith's new show, Hawthorne: "I was a patient. I threw a bedpan at her. It was a very emotional part. I used the bedpan to show my feelings. I made use of it. I didn't USE it. Haha." [NY Mag]
• In this column for the Daily Fail, Simon Cowell writes about Britian's Got Talent: "I didn't get into show business to make little children cry or upset a nice lady like Susan Boyle… But the question remains: should we have done things differently?" [Daily Mail]
• From an interview with Emily Blunt: "When I mention [former love Michael] Bublé's name, I am treated to a stare that is so glacial it could freeze an ant at 500 paces. Is she seeing anyone at the moment? 'Weirdly enough, I'm going to pass on that. You know, apparently I'm seeing everyone. I think someone said I was dating Anne Hathaway in a story recently.'" [Guardian]
• In this article, Betty White and The Proposal director Anne Fletcher have tea and it turns into a "gigglefest." [NY Times]
• David Duchovny and Téa Leoni: Still in love. [People]
• Oh, crap: Peaches Geldof has been studying Scientology for nine months. [Mirror]
• "It's not really an internship. I'm just there for two weeks to see how it works," she said. "I'm listening to the editors, seeing what the fashion department does, what marketing does, what the photo department does. It's all over the place. "Everything is interesting… I really like the fashion department." — Tallulah Willis on her stint at Harper's Bazaar. [NY Mag]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want Washington, D.C. to pay attention to their campaign to fight childhood obesity, especially among Latino kids. [US News & World Report]
• Kathy Hilton says she's not sad that her daughter Paris and Doug Reinhardt broke up: "Doug was riding Paris' coattails." [E!]
• Cristiano Ronaldo says of hanging out with Paris Hilton: "She was a really cool girl and we had a great time talking. I am a young man and Paris a young lady, and us talking in a club is just what normal people our age do." [The Sun]
• Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves: Expecting baby number two. [People]
• Twilight's Ashley Greene says she is not dating Adrian Grenier — they were just attending the same surfing event. Ashley says: "It's kind of annoying sometimes because I have been linked to so many guys, but I have been single forever!" [Us Magazine]
• Behind the scenes of the new Harry Potter movie! [Guardian]
• There are three country stars in bikinis on the cover of Shape and one of them, LeAnn Rimes, talks about being accused of stalking by Ediie Cibrian's wife: ""I feel like people are looking and pointing at me…" [People]
• Congrats to Rachel Griffiths, who recently gave birth to a baby girl, her third child. [People]
• Duran Duran: Working with Mark Ronson. [The Star]
• Mark Ronson and Perez Hilton have had a falling out, and Perez admits he is "petty." [Daily Express]
• Looking for a cute anecdote about Robert Redford and Paul Newman? Click the link. [Daily Express]
• "It is exactly the same - it doesn't make a difference whether it is a woman or a man. It is about a passionate relationship, it is good, intense and quite an unusual story." — Eva Greene, on playing a boarding school teacher who seduces one of her female students in upcoming film Cracks. [Mirror]
• "People think cameras follow you 24/7. It's really not like that. We have set hours, set days, just like any scripted show." — Denise Richards, on It's Complicated. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Q: Are there any women you would get it on with? "Agyness Deyn. She's a little punk-rock Lolita. Beautiful face, beautiful shoulders. I look at her and think, 'Ooh, I'm so turned on. What's happening?'" — Katy Perry. [Times Of London]
• "I would argue that as culturally diverse as L.A. is, and it's one of the most diverse places on the planet, it is shockingly segregated. And that's why I love New York so much and, on one level, San Francisco. You step out your door and you're swept up in a sea of humanity whether you want to be or not. You can stay in your car in L.A. and avoid anyone you want to." — Benjamin Bratt. [LA Times]
• "There are enough reality-TV stars out there who clearly want attention and fame. I personally don't think they know what they're getting into, but it's a very human instinct. I never wanted to be famous. I just wanted to act. So it's very odd. Here I am doing something that's a real actor thing to do and I'm being treated like a celebrity. I was going to take this year off from being a celebrity!" — Anne Hathaway, who is doing Shakespeare in the Park. [NY Mag]
• "She is there every waking moment of my life. It's always something. Things happen to me every single day. I will be in a tiny café and suddenly a version of "Over The Rainbow" will start to play." —Lorna Luft, on her mother, Judy Garland. [Daily Express]
• "Don't get me wrong — I am thankful for a round of antibiotics or surgery when necessary but I have been helped tremendously by the practices [of acupuncture and cupping] that help the body heal itself. When implemented by a professional with experience, the benefits can work wonders." — Gwyneth Paltrow's been flinging GOOP. [Daily Express]
• "Children have always responded to me because I have that cartoon-character look. I'm over-exaggerated and my voice is small and my name is Dolly and I'm kind of like a Mother Goose character. So I think that it's going to be a fun thing." — Dolly Parton, on her children's book, I Am A Rainbow. [Time]

Los Angeles, July 30. Image via Flynet]

• Britney Spears missed her deposition yesterday because she was freaking the fuck out. Her "friend" Sam Lufti said, "She's sick, both physically and high anxiety. Millions of press outside. It's too much." And yet she makes it to Starbucks. [People]
  
• And Brit may call in sick again, says a source. She doesn't think it's a big deal and feels "like she didn't have to do something just because she was told." [MSNBC]
  
• Blue Christmas! Britney may not spend the holiday with her sons — Kevin Federline's lawyer is threatening to ask the judge to take away her visitation rights. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Eva Longoria's husband Tony Parker is not having an affair, says Tony Parker. [People]
  
• Liza Minnelli collapsed during a show in Sweden! She fell off the side of the stage but was caught by a technician. Don't work too hard, Miss With A Zee! [Reuters]

• Baby Spice tumbled on stage! Emma Bunton sprained her ankle at the Las Vegas Spice Girls show and is now on crutches. [Daily Mail]
• Producers were "frantically calling publicists" before Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port from The Hills went to Paris "to see if anyone knew any guys to set the girls up with ... If they had a love affair there, then it would look better," says a source. Pimpin' ain't easy! [Page Six]
• Sex And The City sequel? Maybe! "They want it to be a franchise and think they can stretch it over at least three movies," says a source. For the love of Christmas. Let it be. [Page Six]
• Janice Dickinson has a sister? And she's a model??? [Page Six]
• J.R. Rotem, the father of Britney Spears' nonexistent fetus, is a jerk, but, yeah, you knew that. [Page Six]
• There's tension on the set of Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn's new movie, mostly because she's a perfectionist and he's a slacker. [Gatecrasher]
• The scene: Fancy restaurant. The scenario: The chef sends out special dishes as a treat. Padma Lakshmi to the waiter: "Take it away! Don't you know I'm on a diet?" [Gatecrasher]
• Mario Lopez hosted a contest in Las Vegas called "Boobs or Bust," in which women competed for a $5,000 toward a breast augmentation. Classy! [Rush & Molloy, last item]
• Benjamin Bratt's nephew Kristopher was killed yesterday in San Francisco: A stolen car being pursued by police ran a red light and plowed into the 20-year-old's car. [TMZ]
• Katie Holmes on her marriage to Tom Cruise: "It has made my life." Zombie bride! [People]
• JK Rowling's parents dressed her in blue when she was little. Her sister got to wear pink but "I was supposed to be the boy," she says. [Daily Express]
• Uh, Johnny Depp may play Pee-Wee in the movie version of Pee-Wee's playhouse? So crazy it just might work. Especially if Tim Burton is on board. [MSNBC, 3rd item]
• Tara Reid's body is a mess and it's all her fault! (Botched lipo.) [Daily Mail]

[Las Vegas, November 8. Image via INF.]