• OMG! Project Runway's Tim Gunn will host the red-carpet arrivals at the official Academy Awards pre-show? Genius. Good Morning America's Robin Roberts and Entertainment Weekly's Jess Cagle will join him. Excellent. Carry on! [Variety]

• Prince is having an late-night Oscar bash, and Prince has decided that Prince will perform. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Oh dear: An L.A. woman has filed a $4 billion class action lawsuit against Miley Cyrus, claiming the Disney teen knowingly mocked Asians in a recent photo. Shit, meet fan. [TMZ]
• Margaret Cho thinks Miley Cyrus is "a disgrace." [Perez]
• Did you see Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman last night? You'll find what happened in the dictionary under "trainwreck." (Or at the link here.) [Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood]
• Post-steroid-scandal, Alex Rodriguez "ran right home to [wife] Cynthia," which has pissed off Madonna. She's telling A-Rod that her dalliance with Jesus Luz is just a publicity stunt; Rodriguez says he needs to salvage his career. According to this piece, "Now that he's unable to focus all his attention on Madonna, she only wants him more." [Gatecrasher]
• Holy crap: Michael Jackson has some kind of MRSA-type skin infection, like a flesh-eating virus or a staph infection, and it is sad and horrifying. Plus, from the looks of this picture, it hurts. [The Sun]
• Prince Harry has been formally disciplined after being caught on video calling a fellow soldier a racial slur. He will attend an equality and diversity course, and the incident will go on his permanent record. [Mirror, Guardian]
• What is the deal with George Clooney and Benazir Bhutto's 26-year-old niece, Fatima? Pakistan is "besotted" by their "affair." [Independent]
• Clooney's rep says the rumor that Clooney is dating Fatima is false. [WowOwow]
• Lily Allen had a "secret show" last night in New York, and in addition to material from her new album — the bouncy "Fuck You" and stuff from her old CD ("Smile") she covered Britney's "Womanizer." While singing about blow jobs, she "gulped wine" on stage. [Rolling Stone]
• Nicolette Sheridan is packing up her stuff and leaving Wisteria Lane; she will no longer be on Desperate Housewives. [Extra]
• Mary-Kate Olsen looks high fashion freaky in her pictures for the March issue of Interview; she tells the mag about differentiating herself from her sister: "We've always been very different. And we've always had the same goals… At a certain point, we probably just started to vocalize it. When we decided to go to college, we figured we'd be able to take a break and just figure out what we wanted to do and what we loved… just by being able to step away from the work world." [ONTD]
• Queen Latifah was on a bus tour of Newark, N.J. yesterday to promote options that will help homeowners avoid foreclosures. [UPI]
• Had Rihanna been working on a song about murdering a cheating partner before she was attacked by Chris Brown? [The Sun]
• Chris Brown is currently holed up at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Except that this report says Chris Brown and Rhianna are both in L.A. Oh, and don't click this link unless you want to read a whole lot of bullshit speculation about how Rihanna maybe hit Chris first and "Lamborghini's [sic] have small cabins that are hard to maneuver in. Brown, who would have been driving, could have used his teeth as a weapon to defend himself against Rihanna's flailing." [Fox 411]
• Sigh, there is a delay in the Chris Brown case. The D.A spokesperson says: "It's our understanding the LAPD won't return the case to us this week. Once we get it, we will review it again to determine if there's a case." Wait, what? [People]
• Here's a better explanation of whether Chris should be charged with criminal threats or the lesser charge of domestic battery. [TMZ]
• Cops will reinterview Chris Brown and Rihanna again soon. [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown's wardrobe stylist says: "Chris is all right. He's a good kid. He feels very bad that something like this has happened." Ugh! Passive talk. He feels bad "something happened" or he feels bad about what he did? [People]
• Leona Lewis denies involvement in the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation. [Daily Mail]
• When asked by paparazzi about Chris Brown, Terrence Howard said: "Chris is a great guy. He'll be all right." Now he says: "When they asked me about Chris Brown the other day, I was in no way aware of what he had been accused of. Had I known, I would have never had said something so insensitive." Seriously dude? Put down the baby wipes and pick up a newspaper or something. [E!]
• Clive Owen continues to promote his film and charm the underpants off of us. [CBS News]
• Drew Barrymore says Adam Sandler was her favorite on-screen kiss. "It was really innocent and unsalacious." [Mirror]
• Whoa: Nicolas Sarkozy proposed to Carla Bruni within two hours of meeting her. [Daily Mail]
• Groan: Sports Illustrated cover moddle Bar Refaeli ate cheeseburgers and ice cream before her shoot and did not work out. [Gatecrasher]
• Will Sean Penn be in a Three Stooges biopic? [Page Six]
• Balthazar Getty's exit from Brothers & Sisters will be "shocking." Spoilers all there if you click the link. [E!]
• Sam Shepard pled guilty to DUI and speeding from that bust last month in Illinois — he had a .175 blood alcohol level. Drunkety drunk drunk drunk. [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson has a stripper pole in her bathroom and a spy says: "She's so proud of it. She was laughing and giddy like a kid when the thing was installed! She holds on with both her arms and flips her legs into the air. It's kind of amazing and totally sexy." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Francis is no longer on house arrest. He's free to go wild. [TMZ]
• Steven Seagal wants Costa Rica to have a filmmaking industry. "Costa Rica has everything — both rain forest and dry climate. What it lacks is an infrastructure to make movies," he said in a news conference. Send us plane tickets and let us judge for ourselves! [Reuters]
• Akon has a Chevron gas station in his backyard. [The Life Files]
• Blind item! "Which pro athlete's actress-girlfriend is going to be less than pleased when she discovers he's sleeping with college girls on the side?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Any actor who starts taking 'sex symbol' seriously or thinks of themselves as a sex symbol has got some serious problems. When I'm in my normal life I care very little about how I look. Sometimes I have to dress up when I'm making movies, but that's not me when I'm just hanging around. I don't mind looking like I need a good wash and a good meal. There's no vanity about my character and I think that's real. His absolute obsessive passion is trying to bring a bank down. He doesn't care how he looks. So I just stopped shaving and left it to the make-up people to make sure I looked bad in every scene." — Clive Owen. [Mirror]
• "I had to be chained to the ceiling with a hood over my head, in my boxer shorts, being hosed down by a soldier, with cold air fans blowing on me. I wouldn't recommend being tortured by Samuel L Jackson. He seems to enjoy it a little too much." — Michael Sheen, who filmed Unthinkable with Jackson. [Telegraph]
• "She's so different from me. She's so focused on the outside. She just loves clothes and she just loves life, and she wants to make the world more beautiful. How often do you read a comedy script with a woman in the lead, and she's actually a flawed, deluded character? And I was able to do physical comedy. It was a dream role." — Isla Fisher on Rebecca Bloomwood, her Shopaholic character. [USA Today]
• "The people who are the most beautiful are those who do what they love to do – who have love in their lives, and laugh a lot, go to good movies, read good books, and have great sex. A guy who's a chauvinist I'm not interested in. Any good man knows women are much smarter than men." — Carla Gugino, to Women's Health. [People]
• "We very rarely talk but when we do, it sure makes me laugh. She's one of the funniest ladies I know and I hold huge amounts of love and respect for her. She's my big sister. Things were wild during the years I was with her in the band and she's one of the wildest creatures I've ever met, but I have my own personal perception of her. There's nobody else like her. I feel like there should be a review of the great stuff that Hole and Courtney put out there. I would support that because I feel it's important to pass on to women of future generations." — Melissa Auf der Maur on Courtney Love. [ONTD via Spinner]
• "When you look at someone like Jessica [Simpson], I don't know if she gained weight, but it's all I've heard about. I'm looking for someone with a great voice, but if someone is 50 pounds overweight, I have to tell them the reality - that it might hold them back." — American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi. [MSNBC]

• John McCain told Marie Claire that he's like Jack Bauer except for the torture thing. That he doesn't like except for when it's directed at "enemy combatants" and conducted outside of American soil without judicial review and Jack does it all the time. There's totally a difference. [Huffington Post]
• You know how everyone was a-flutter at the news that Sarah Palin might've had an affair with Todd's friend? Well, it turns out that her legislative director had an affair with Todd's friend's wife and, like everyone else she's ever met, she fired him. [Andrew Sullivan, Huffington Post]
• Another off-limit topic for Sarah Palin? Any connection between her policy position on stem cell research (hints: she's against) and disabled children. That's a "new low," supposedly. [CNN]

• In a transparent effort to win back that supposed white-woman vote for Obama that is supposedly trending toward McCain, Barbra Streisand is going to perform at an Obama fundraiser. I guess the campaign is figuring it's mostly older women? [Reuters, HuffPo]
• The federal deficit has nearly tripled since last year, and is about ready to beat Bush's previous record, set in 2004. But the Republicans are the Party of Fiscal Responsibility(TM)! How can that be? [Washington Post]
• Benazir Bhutto's (probably) corrupt husband was sworn in as President of Pakistan today. That's totes going to work well for all of us. [NY Times]

MEGAN: Happy Tuesday!
 MOE: BLARGH.
 MEGAN: Well, I think we're both much less hungover than we were yesterday.
MOE: Yeah, but that doesn't mean I have anything remotely intelligent to say. The Dane Cook of inspiring people is about it. Ha ha ha and I just plagiarized myself. Also Pakistan is not voting Musharraf back in, but I don't really know what that means other than "so yeah if that was the intention of those guys who made that rogue sunroof kill Bhutto the terrorists won!" And then also oh yes Fidel Castro resigned. But like I read that on Perez months ago!
MEGAN: Perez is so prescient. A really old guymight not being able to run the country forever? Who woulda thunk.
And, yeah, it's hard to understand why al Qaeda thought it would be a good idea politicall to assassinate Bhutto (who wanted to eliminate them) other than maybe they figured they could bribe her briberiffic husband? Or they thought maybe Uncle Pervy was going to get away with putting off elections, like, forever? Or, you know, maybe crazy homicidal megalomaniacs who think they should run the world don't really have good motives?
  
It's so hard to understand all that.

MOE: Oh look! Speaking of megawhatevers there's a fun slideshow on the WSJ website to take you through memory lane with Cuba-US relations. The Bay of Pigs pix are kinda fun. And United Fruit...remember that racket? Good times. Anyway so as you can understand the challenge for any communist country these days is how to be more like China and less like Russia...blah blah do we have any good dirt on Raul?
MEGAN: He's also really old.
MOE: Oh, that's okay, as long as he abstains from smoking and keeps his weight under control he can live into those great golden John McCain's mom years right!
MEGAN: Wow, what great research! Being healthy means not dying sooner!
  Raul looks like he smokes to me, though.
MOE: Yeah I was thinking the same thing. It's probably like treason in Cuba if you don't smoke. They send you to Guantanamo!
MEGAN: Do you think they make everyone drink mojitos, too? I could weirdly stand to have a mojito right now.

5 minutes
MOE: Nah man all I want mornings like this is uppers. So here, readers, is your primer to Raul. On the menschness scale he seems just this side of Li Peng. But maybe he'll fix the economy! Because after all, exporting tainted blood thinners is better than exporting... nothing at all! (;-) exiles!)
MEGAN: That's, like, totally the old Chinese slogan!
MOE: Okay should we talk about the ELEPHANT/DONKEY/WHATEV in the room which is to say the Obamas keep fucking up? Barry stole a whole like 20 words from Deval Patrick and then Michelle Obama said it was the first time in her adult life she'd been proud of her country. Now: that is kind of self-aggrandizing but is it true? Mickey Kaus says even Dennis Kucinich could find something to be proud of but um he is also deep in beautiful love!
Have you ever been proud of your country?
  
It's a weird question, bc you're thinking, "the whoooole country"?
I was kind of proud of my state when it ousted that dead baby senator by 20 points. But it's not like that was a very difficult decision for anyone to make.
MEGAN: I don't know that I've ever really been proud of "the country." That's such a vague concept to me. My initial reaction is, frankly, no. But I've never been one for group identity, anyway. And it seems like it would have to be on the whole, and do I feel like, on the whole, our actions are worthy of group-think pride and I'm not sure that if I look at the 30 years I've been an American that the balance tips in its favor.
But I'm a pessimist and a cynic. I don't think I'd be "proud" of any country. A country isn't an entity, it's a social construct.
And, on the plagiarism charges, if you look at the definition, it's the unauthorized use of someone else's work. By all accounts, Deval Patrick told Obama to do it. I think it was stupid of Deval Patrick to do it and stupid/lazy of Obama's advisers to let him do it, but it's not "plagiarism."
MOE: Yeah and what does usually result from a large nationalism-fueled group of people hoping to take part in something bigger than themselves and make their heirs proud etc. etc. it's like "um wars."
 
MEGAN: Yes. That's sort of my problem with national pride, I think. I minored in German history, so it makes me even more uncomfortable.
MOE: Well the insane thing about the plagiarism thing is that the Clinton camp is basically saying, it would be completely different if Hillary lifted a line or two from someone's speech because no one is accusing her of running on her rhetoric." And you're like "Um bc Hillary Clinton is not running against Hillary Clinton?" It's so mindbogglingly circular. But yeah Michelle's statement is going to get linked back with the whole flag pingate and he's in trouble.
MEGAN: Flag pins are just ticky-tacky. Period.
I mean, it just seems like one of those super insidery things that hardly anyone is going to care about in 3 days and if Obama had done it on Wednesday last week it wouldn't be an issue in Wisconsin. But, because he did it on Saturday and it was widely reported yesterday, it's going to hurt him in Wisconsin, I think. It's brilliant on the part of Clinton's campaign, even if I disagree with the word choice.
And even if I roll my eyes at both of them. Because I've seen Obama's version and Patrick's version and I didn't love it the first time and thought it was ineffective the second.
MOE: It's so completely mindbogglingly retarded this scandal though!
 
MEGAN: You don't campaign on the scandals you want, you campaign on the scandals you get?
 
MOE: This is the Clinton campaign, guys! BECAUSE THEY ARE SOOOOO SUBSTANTIAL.
MEGAN: I mean, I think it's clear that she can't win on being Obama-y positive in public no matter what because it's not believable to too many people and because it's not her voice.
And I think (and have read in the comments here before) that people actually want to see her play rough and go negative because they see that as how Dems will defeat the Republicans in November.

MOE: The proud of my country thing is a lot more troubling. Because while its not easy to find a whole lot that fits that description completely, there have surely been a lot of individual acts of heroism and compassion fueled in part by patriotism; and surely it is a big insult to anyone who has committed one of those acts in the past 20 years (like say for example, John McCain's son in Iraq; any kid who's done Teach For America; etc.) ...That said, domestic politics has, in that time, fallen into a predictable paradigm of zeroing in on people's fears and prejudices and Obama transcends that in a way that is surprising to most cynics like us, and that's exactly what his haters so hate about his campaign but I think also what people like me find compelling about it — because it's like, hey, pleasant surprise! So anyway I understand the sentiment but it betrays an arrogance and a cynicism that is going to be damaging. Hell, Obama himself wrote that he was proud of our country when the Berlin Wall fell! I personally hope she answers this one because I think she could do a decent job.
MEGAN: I agree that Michelle Obama's statements are more damaging in the long term than Words-gate.
MOE: Or anyway, they ought to be. On the other hand, I mean, a lot of it is, I think, just the fact that she speaks extemporaneously. Which is sort of ironic given her husband's PLAGIARISM scandal! But you know, her whole bit from Day 1 was like "What is this? He's just a man. Not the freaking Prophet Messiah!" And now she's like "hey, you know, the way people are reacting so passionately to his campaign is inspiring! And when's the last time I was inspired? Hey, never!"
MEGAN: Inspiration is good. I wish I had some at this very moment.

• Bill Clinton's former campaign manager endorses Obama; thinks winning Ohio would "wrap up the nomination." [Baltimore Sun]
  
• Tally: Obama 1,275 Clinton 1,220; Obama also wins the popular vote even if you include Florida. [LA Times]
  
• Ann Coulter was just on Fox News. "Ha ha, my endorsement strategy worked perfectly," she said. Ha ha ha she's so evil. But her hair looked awesome; a weave?
  
• "If [Hillary's] trends continue like this she'll resemble Huckabee—a boutique candidate, catering to a small portion of the electorate." Would it surprise you to know the sentence preceding that one is "I should note that my spouse works for Clinton." And no, the writer's not Mary Matalin. [Portfolio]
  
• Two conspirators in the Benazir Bhutto assassination confessed. [CNN]
  
• Worthless Islamofascists, I know, but in America, we officially no longer waterboard such people. [Wash Post]
  
• Imad Mugniyah, a top Hezbollah leader/suspected hijacker/suicide bomb plotter/etc. etc. so wanted he got plastic surgery to disguise himself was killed in Syria. [NYT]
  
• And a Minnesota woman woke up from her coma to find her family planning her funeral. [WCCO]

• Virginia Delegate Robert G. Marshall, Prince William County Republican, on that football playing sex work art loving college president Gene Nichol: "The fact is his behavior was threatening the commonwealth." Hey, why not throw in "national security" while you're at it? [Federalnewsradio]
• Hugo Chavez and Exxon...yeah, wouldn't want to get in a fight with either of them. [Reuters]
• World's fattest man drops 570 pounds, throws party. [Breitbart]
• At least five drivers ignored a woman being sexually assaulted on the side of a road in the UK. Thank Jesus nothing like that would ever happen here. [BBC]
• A New Hampshire landlord owed $500 by Clinton campaign from January finally gets the check — and sends it to Obama. And gives an interview to Fox News. Um, dude, it's what, four weeks late? Does that even count in this economy? [Fox News]
• Yummy pictures of award-winning cappuccinos are the new yummy pictures of award-winning puppies. [Wash Post]

I have no problem with humanizing larger than life figures — the microwave-sized biographies of LBJ by Robert Caro do a great job of mixing personal stories with political ones — but if Daphne was as close to Bhutto as she claims she was, weren't there more illuminating anecdotes about Benazir's character that she could have included? The fact that Bhutto loved Victoria's Secret because they were "sexy stylish" and had a great "range" doesn't show the essence of a complicated woman very much at all.

A second, much more appropriate article in the American Prospect, "Benazir Bhutto: An Imperfect Feminist", argues that while Bhutto might not have acted enough on behalf of Pakistani women in her capacity as an elected leader, her symbolic presence as a powerful Muslim woman is perhaps more meaningful. Despite Bhutto's support of the women-defiling Taliban in Afghanistan, Stan says Bhutto "was a potent symbol of [South Asian women's] potential empowerment. Symbolism was what Bhutto did best, and symbols matter — especially to the desperate."

Which is why Daphne Barak's article is even more upsetting: symbols do matter, and if the message she is sending is that world's female leaders should be wearing lacy underthings beneath their power suits, we might as well send Hillary back to the kitchen to make some fucking chocolate chip cookies, shouldn't we?

How Benazir Let Her Hair Down [The Daily Mail]
Benazir Bhutto: An Imperfect Feminist [The American Prospect]

Earlier: Musharraf On Bhutto: "I May Be A Dictator, But She Was Like An African Dictator..."
Benazir Bhutto: Beloved, But Sort Of In That "Marion Barry" Type Way
Benazir Bhutto Dies After Being Struck By Bomb, Shot In The Neck At Rally

• So uh, not so much cracking this holiday week. Former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto was gunned down killed on the campaign trail. We broke down the geopolitical conflict for y'all.
  
• Speaking of geopolitical conflict, apparently Sarah Jessica Parker hates Kim Cattrall. Just like the Muslims and Hindus!
  
• In other news, some women come during childbirth
  
• The women of Generation X aren't coming at all.
  
• Anna Nicole came early and often, and she threw one hell of a Christmas party.
  
• Christmas wasn't so great for other people, like wretched Tatiana the tiger and her unfortunate human victim.
  
• But even though some of us had to work during this holiday week, we can all take comfort in the fact that a certain someone kicked Moe's ass in the Traveler IQ Challenge. Suck on that, yo!

MOE: ahaha feeling CRAPPY
MEGAN: why, yes, yes I am!
MOE: This story is the only thing I've read that explains exactly how the idea was hatched to send Bhutto back in the first place. Have you read anything else like it?
MEGAN: No, I hadn't read the article before but it makes a ton of sense. We've never been super-comfortable with Uncle Pervy
MOE: Well yes, but he views his support of us as the main reason for his own shitty approval ratings.
MEGAN: Gosh, so hard to be a popular dictator these days!
Also, he's not entirely wrong either.
MOE: Well no, and we were asking him to take back someone he once likened to an AFRICAN dictator. Did you know that with all the extremist poors he had to alienate in 2006, Musharraf also got around to writing an autobiography? And he didn't have much love for Bhuttolicious, of whom he wrote: "she had twice been tried, been tested and failed, [and] had to be denied a third chance." She had not allowed her own party to become democratic, he alleged. "Benazir became her party's 'chairperson for life,' in the tradition of the old African dictators!"
MEGAN: Ahem. For someone who wants to be military dictator for life and cried when he had to take off the uniform, that's a pretty pot-kettle kind of statement. Does that mean he's really just following in her footsteps?
MOE: haha but he's calling the kettle BLACK.
MEGAN: Wow, crap, she's buried already?
MOE: Do Muslims like to bury their dead super-quick like Jews?
Apparently she was killed by a shrapnel wound, incidentally.
MEGAN: Well, that's what the Pakistani government is saying.
And, yes, I'm going to guess they must because that was like a 24 hour turnaround on her burial.
But, the Getty reporter, John Moore, who took a number of the photos I used yesterday, caught the explosion on camera because he heard the shots.
MOE: Seriously though, i do wonder if that's an extra-harsh dis among the dictatorial set: like "I can play bridge with a Fujimori, share a scotch with a Pinochet, but those AFRICAN dictators — that's where we cross the line."
Oh, and also, those pictures were great. You got a lot of Diggs!
MEGAN: Well, but the pictures were all John Moore and Farooq Naeem of Agence France-Presse. I just saw them and thought everyone else ought to, too.
But on Pinochet and Fujimori, you're totally right.
(Side note: I went to college with one of Fujimori's kids. Nice guy)
MOE: I wonder if the MSM followed suit and printed any of them. I think it's really important to be confronted with the notion that in so much of the Muslim world, you're more likely than not to have witnessed a scene like this
MEGAN: I've heard, but haven't seen, that the NY Times printed this one this morning.
MOE: Wait, wrong link I think!
MEGAN: I know ABC News showed it last night with the bodies blurred out as they were interviewing John Moore.
5 minutes
MOE: Weird. So now there's torching and looting and all sort of chaos. I keep returning to this opinion piece from the Journal in November about "Being Pervez Musharraf." It basically said, Look, Pervez Musharraf thinks he's the best thing to happen to this country since...well ever, and just because he has a bunch of haters and has alienated a bunch of his supporters and now there are people rioting in the street because they're under the delusion their country cherishes democracy, doesn't mean anyone else is going to rise up and snatch power away from him. So like, what does he care?
MEGAN: I mean, aren't most dictators a little Napoleonic? They don't just want to have power, they want to be adored
MOE: Well politicians want to be adored. I don't think it's so much a matter of being a dictator as having a different personality. Look at Bill Clinton. He's adored, yes. But his desire for MORE adulation has led him to say some very unpragmatic shit — like about opposing the war from the beginning and crap — that hasn't been helpful to his wife's campaign. Okay, and then there's Dick Cheney. He has all sorts of power. Does he give a shit that he is hated? No. It's just a matter of what side of that fence Uncle Pervy comes down on and I'm thinking that it's the Cheney side of things, which is, in the long run, probably better for everybody.
Incidentally, the Post story points out that Bhutto's assassination is actually good for her party, and by extension good for us, as the PPP is "best ally the U.S. has in terms of an institution in Pakistan" according to some expert they talked to
MEGAN: I think there are definitely dictators that demand adulation (Hitler, Amin come to mind) and those that could give a shit. And, in the end, I think that the ones that don't are probably more successful in the long run.
Although I thought that was the most obvious point in the entire piece. Of course her party will do well in the elections now, unless they are canceled.
MOE: Good point, it's pretty obvious. It's not like they're going to try and draft her deadbeat husband to run or something stupid like that. So what are your sources saying? Are the elections on? Is Musharraf "finished" as they say?
MEGAN: I think if Uncle Pervy canceled the elections it would only be because his miltary was damn ready to fire on the mass protests and deal with the pictures of those bodies in the streets. And I don't think they want to be China in 1989.
But there's no other credible main candidate for a cooperative government either. Plus, you know, the expected rigging.
So, the cynic in me says he stays in power, Bhutto's party gains more seats and things stay more or less the same for now.
MOE: Um well in china in 1989 there were peaceful demonstrations (no torching, weapons, etc.) run over by tanks. Not that the Chinese would tell you that, because there's no freedom of the press. And mercifully as well, there was no freedom of religion. Either way I think it's a much potentially messier situation in terms of lives lost, bloody imagery, anger, etc. But I dunno. Who did kill her? It's so complicated. I can't wrap my head around it. I mean, at the end of the day it's a lot better for a Muslim country like Pakistan to have a big SECULAR martyr, right? And Jesus Christ, who the fuck killed her anyway? It's not like this is the first time this year they've tried.
MEGAN: I know, though unless it was actually Uncle Pervy, I'm not sure it matters.
But, yes, a political martyr has to be better than a religious one.

(pieced together from a Gchat conversation, so humor us, thanks.)

Nawaz Sharif
MOE: So what about Nawaz Sharif? I never hear shit about him.
JOSH: He was corrupt and ineffective. He let Musharraf start the Kargil war under his nose, and he didn't know how to end it. He was almost as corrupt as Bhutto, and just kind of a dweeb
MOE: Why did they elect him anyway?
JOSH Because he was less corrupt than Bhutto, would be my guess. Well, he was PM first in 1990, then was thrown out when the President at the time dissolved the national assembly. Then the supreme court overruled the president, then Sharif resigned in a huff during the dispute and then Benazir Bhutto took over in 93. Then in 1997 Sharif came back into power by somehow winning 90% of a national election. So of course everyone was kvetching about it being super corrupt
MOE: Well who fixes an election for a non-incumbent no one really likes in the first place?
JOSH: Exactly. It created the conditions for Musharraf's takeover
MOE: Oh Musharraf IS crafty. But he didn't take over until later, yes?
JOSH: The big kicker was after Kargil, when Sharif prevented Musharraf's plane from landing, and he was then accused of hijacking it from afar or something...
MOE: Okay, let's explain Kargil. It's in the border territory of Kashmir, which is the whole reason India and Pakistan have nukes.

Kashmir
JOSH: Kargil is in Kashmir, which is a disputed border with India resulting from the 1947 partition. They've fought a good three wars over the exact demarcation line, and the "Line of Control" has become the defacto border since the last stalemate. The Kargil conflict was started when Pakistani militias crossed the Line of Control into what India considers its territory in May of 1999.
And it's worth noting, too, that many of the militants sent there were from the same groups that produce the Taliban since Pakistan officially supported the Pakistani madrassas that produced the Taliban because they made good zealous warriors for Kashmir.

It was a big deal because it was, I believe, the highest-altitude conflict ever, it was dumb strategically because the terrain made sound logistics impossible, and when both countries have nuclear weapons starting a war is just stupid, as in: Pakistan could never send enough troops for enough time to secure anything anyway, so it was a big break in protocol. Ever since the 1971 Bangladesh liberation war, both India and Pakistan had abandoned their forward posts during the horrible winter and re-occupied them in the spring. But Pakistan went back ahead of schedule and just seized Indian positions. This was accompanied by heaving shelling of settlements on the Indian side of the border. So no one knew for weeks what had happened on the Indian side.
MOE: And when they found out?
JOSH: Basically, the Indians responded by carpet bombing the entire line of control. Mortar fire, artillery, MiG bombs...and ridge by ridge the Indians got back the territory. Meanwhile the Pakistani army was covertly planning a nuclear strike on India, but Bill Clinton of all people found out and warned Sharif that the results would be tragic for Pakistan.
MOE: Nuke them over Kashmir???
JOSH: Imagine if we didn't have a defined border with Mexico
MOE: hahaahahahahaha
JOSH: and Mexico kept taking our territory, or claiming it wanted Southern California, and then sent bands of violent religious extremists to occupy border towns. We'd be pissed
MOE: Well it's a different problem to have, certainly. Borders cause problems for sure. But most of ours run along relatively flat land, right? Or water. can you blame the british for being like "You know those mountains? fuck figuring out where the border starts and ends up there. let them sort that out for themselves." Ha ha ha by which I mean yes you can blame them for that.
JOSH: Well, the British did put down a border, it's just that no one wanted it. See, the idea behind partition was that India is Hindu, and Pakistan is Muslim, and when the partition happened, there was a mass exodus on both sides of the border. But eastern Pakistan still has Hindus, and western India still has Muslims, and they're violent with each other. Only, Kashmir is almost entirely Muslim. So Pakistan thinks it should be a part of a Muslim nation
That partition really created more problems than it solved, didn't it.
JOSH: esp. considering the rolling waves of murderous pogroms both Hindus and Muslims have put on over the last few decades
sort of. They wouldn't really work as one country. But by leaving the border to them (since it was one political entity when the Brits pulled out), they never had a chance to resolve it, and because a major source of water for both countries flows from the area - the Indus river - neither has been willing to spend the resources for an all-out war of occupation.
JOSH: oh yeah, so after Pakistan lost Kargil, Nawaz Sharif was so angry at Musharraf for starting it that he recommended a court martial
MOE: Wait, so Musharraf STARTED the Kargil conflict?
JOSH: No one really knows. But it's likely, as he was army chief of staff at the time, I think. Lemme double check.

Other reasons they hate Musharraf
JOSH: But in either case, Kargil was an epic disaster, just like Operation Gibraltar in 1965 (which was a similarly failed attempt to seize indian territory), and highlighted some deep structural problems in Pakistani military planning and execution
MOE: Hmmmm. So is Musharraf hated in Kashmir? As much as he's hated by the people who live in the provinces bordering Afghanistan?
JOSH: yes, but for different reasons. They hate him in NWFP because he ignores them then sends in troops when they take matters into their own hands

JOSH: But the people in the northern and northeastern regions hate Musharraf for both the needless war, and for the absolute neglect. I mean, I reviewed a book a little while ago called Three Cups of Tea, about an American guy who is making friends with all sorts of crazies because he builds schools for Pakistani children while the government makes them sit outside and draw in the dirt (no joke)
JOSH: And musharraf is hated by lots of the Pakistani military for being so bad at strategy he lost a war he started with a superior force and the element of surprise

Karma?
MOE: So.... he's bad at military strategy, but a pro at power-consolidation strategy?
JOSH: that's probably a fair assessment
JOSH: more appropriately, he's a good administrator and a good politicker, but not a good general
MOE: so did Bhutto have her brother killed? is this just karma?
JOSH: I don't think so, if I remember he was killed in a gunfight with police
MOE: But that's why his son, her niece Fatima hates her so much, right? Because she thinks he was assassinated?
JOSH: Yes.
MOE: How do you say "oy" in Urdu?

So, was Musharraf, who'd just grudgingly conceded to share power with Bhutto and give up his army leadership position, behind the hit? That's what conspiracy theorists inside my kitchen seem to believe. But then you've gotta wonder how he did it. Did Mr. Enemy of Terrorism Musharraf contract out a suicide bomber from Al Qaeda Inc.? Or does the Pakistani Army have a top-secret suicide unit, and if so, what do you have to do to get yourself enlisted in that? Josh Foust, of Registan.net and "That's So Jane's!" columns of yore says the theory doesn't make sense. "She works much better as an opponent than as a martyr" for Musharraf, he claims. CNN seems to be focused on the question of what happens next: will they invoke military rule? (Isn't that what you would do?)

"Pakistan's former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto adjusts her scarf during a news conference on Tuesday evening. Bhutto returned from self-exile to take part in the coming elections scheduled in January 2008."

[Karachi, Pakistan, November 27. Image via AP.]

Benazir Bhutto has joined some guy who sold nuclear weapons secrets to North Korea in house arrest in Pakistan and, um, Howard Dean decreed Jews worthy of admittance to Heaven. (Mazel Tov, guys!) And with just two little months before the campaigning begins, for real...

Well, Obama is handing out glow necklaces in Iowa, while Meghan McCain and Cate Edwards campaign for their dads in New Hamsphire.