Jezebel: beds

Breaking: Augusten Burroughs Is Weird

Anna N. — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:20:00 EDT

Augusten Burroughs lives in a bankrupt building with exposed wiring, sleeps and works in a crazily draped bed, and claims his "sensory processing disorder" makes him remember things better than other people. Also, his mom is writing a memoir. [NYT]

Strange Bedfellows

Maria — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 09:45:00 EDT

Do you long for a naked man to keep you warm at night? Freaked out by the idea of a boyfriend pillow? Well, we found the perfect duvet set for you! Twister Duvet Covers, the duvet cover store for fans of the useless gag gift and ironic t-shirt sections of Urban Outfitters, has a duvet cover that crosses that subtle yet distinct line between silly and crazy. The duvet is a nude and headless white man (or white woman!) covering his bits on a blank white cover. Ah loneliness, how ye toy with the pathetic heart. [GiggleSugar]

Can You Get A Decent Night's Sleep With A Loved One In Bed?

Moe — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:30:33 EST

There is nothing like the blissful, thoroughly entangled sleep enjoyed in the arms of a new beau... to remind you of the cruel impermanence of first love, the dopaminal mirage that is the notion you can ever be truly content with someone else, how monogamy sucks and nothing ever lasts etc. etc. etc. Know what I mean? Because let's face it: sleeping in the same bed as your boyfriend all the time sucks, a sad truth addressed in the March Elle by a woman, Ruth Davis Konigsberg, whose husband Eric is a talented feature writer for the New York Times but who the fuck cares; it's not like he's running for president, the point is he snores. And violently kick his legs upwards in the middle of the night, a condition called Periodic Limb Movement Disorder, or PLMD, which seems as good a reason as any to vilify the pharmaceutical industry once more for assigning a technical name to another behavior exhibited by EVERY BOYFRIEND I EVER HAD/go in for a Klonopin prescription.

But after years of that chronic sleep deprivation we all suffer, Ruth decides to deal with things the natural way; by getting a new bed.

She looks at something called a "split king" — like a king bed, but with two twin sides. Her husband doesn't want to get it. Then...I don't think she ends up getting the bed. I didn't really finish the story because I'm kind of sleep-deprived. Because I've been sleeping next to someone? Hah, I wish; fuck you guys.

On a side note: does anyone drool? I have a drooling problem. Never been a snorer, just a drooler...

While You Weren't Sleeping [Elle]