New York City's bed bug scare is not over. The little bloodsuckers are reportedly spreading across the city via the subway system — and it's not just the N train.

Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her.

Remember the horrible bed bug invasion that was going to plunge New York into the Age of the Insect, when all Gothamites would have to feed their mattresses to the insatiable Bed Bug Queen living in the subway tunnels? It was going to be terrible, and then, magically, bed bugs vanished from the news...until now.

Want a free bed bug with your Urban Outfitters Navajo panties? Probably not. But if you shop at one Urban Outfitters in downtown Manhattan, you might not have a choice; the store has been dealing with the parasitic insects for months and refuses to take the issue seriously, even though two employees have confirmed…

Oh, hey there. Had you managed to forget about the constant threat of bed bugs for even one second? Hahaha, of course not. You are always aware that your home could be invaded at any time, turning what was once your comfort zone into your own personal nightmare mansion. Well, you should continue to be paranoid about…

• After taking down Victoria's Secret, Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, and Elle magazine, the dreaded bedbugs are now ensconced at the Fifth Avenue Juicy Couture store. We're picturing bedbugs in tiny velour tracksuits, talking on tiny pink bedazzled cell phones. [Gothamist]

• According to reports in the Arab press, Naomi Campbell is going to convert to Russian Orthodox faith so she can marry her scary-rich oligarch boyfriend, Vladimir Doronin, in a massive ceremony at the Temple of Luxor on the Nile! [P6]

"Yesterday, an insect — suspected of being a bed bug" was found in a classroom at the Fashion Institute of Technology. The bug was captured and no others were found — but just to be safe, everyone should probably panic.

• Lanvin and H&M have released another campaign image from their forthcoming collaboration, which hits stores November 23. Lanvin's signature hot-pink leopard print is well represented. Could this be the mass-market designer collection that looks most like the real thing? [VogueUK]

• Orlando Bloom and Charlize Theron are the new faces of Uniqlo. Bloom is practically as adept in front of the camera as his wife, while Theron drives an old Citroen and looks attractively wistful in her video. [Nicola Formichetti]

• Marion Cotillard was shot, and apparently not retouched, by Bruce Weber for the cover of Italian Vanity Fair. Certainly it's preferable to that hackjob of a Vogue cover she was subjected to, but isn't the pose a bit awkward? [HuffPo]

• Julia Roberts' original deal with Lancôme, signed last December, was rumored to be worth up to $20 million. Now that the actress is renewing for five more years, she's said to be earning a cool $50 million. [Daily Mail]

In her Nerve advice column, Kate Sullivan discusses proper sexual etiquette during a bedbug infestation, like whether or not you're obliged to tell a one-night stand. (Answer: "Only if you're serious. If not, just have sex in the kitchen.")

Trust us, by the time you read this, someone you know will have discovered the telltale trio of welts and known, with a sinking heart, that they were infested. Especially if you live in one of these ten cities!

Elle staffers are working from home this week after bedbugs were discovered in the mag's Manhattan offices. The infestation was confirmed by a "specially trained sniffing beagle" and treated. Expect to see a beauty feature on combating unsightly bites.

• Halle is the first black woman to make the cover of Vogue's September issue since 1989. "What that means for a woman of color and what that means in the fashion world, what that means to pop culture," she says:

• Not only does George Clooney not have a clothing line, he is so offended by the notion that he would have one that he's testifying against three guys who claimed that he was launching a line called "GC Exclusive."