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Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
Feminine Hygiene Commercials Are Rarely Genius

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Hana Maru
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
I hate the euphemisms "lady parts" and "lady bits" It's infantilizing. I have a vulva, labia, a vagina. I'm a woman who owns her sexuality and can talk about it frankly, not a little girl.
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Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
One of my friends thinks the euphemism box is hilarious, and she has a tendency to text me when she's in math class and they're going over box plots. She's in grad school in case you were wondering.
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femputer
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
The wise Haskins has answered our pleas for an analysis of this ad!! Ask and ye shall receive!
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
I'd like to see commercials for stuff like this that were made to make people feel really uncomfortable. On purpose, I mean. Like a tampon commercial, featuring one of my sister's friends, talking on the phone with her boyfriend. Here is what I witnessed. She's glowering and bent over, wracked with cramps. All of a sudden, she yells, Fucking stop it, alright? I'm not coming over because I don't feel good. (pause) Because there's blood coming out of my fucking twat!!! Obviously, the eff-words would be bleeped out, but the squirming viewer would definitely get the point. It would appeal to any woman suffering through her menses, dealing with cramps and scratchy tampons and that special punched-crotch feeling. No?
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glamzuki
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
My sister during our college years used to love to reference all the womanly goodies in mixed company. She especially like to draw out each word. ie. "Menstrooooayyyyyyyshun"

Whenever in the store to buy tampons she liked to loudly announce to all in the check out line "That's right! I have a HEAVY FLOW!!! I am the Niagara of Womanly Awesomeness!!!" God I love her.
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marshmallory
04/17/09

@glamzuki: "Most people think I'm lying about being a virgin because I prefer jumbo tampons, but I can't help it if I have a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina."
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NewsBunny
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
I go with frou-frou-la la.

My husband...has named it. He also named my breasts. If it makes him happy, what the fuck.

His penis CAME with a name, which I found a little annoying. You can name ME, but I can't name you? Turns out his testicles were unnamed, so they became Ponch and Jon.

Am I oversharing?
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femputer
04/17/09

@NewsBunny: overshares are always welcome. Esp. when they mystify me....I have never been with anyone who names their penis or their vagina. Maybe I just don't ask enough questions. "and who do we have here?"
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girl.of.your.dreams
04/17/09

@NewsBunny: LOVE. IT.

I just watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother where a girl is yelling at a bar, "Let's name my boobs!" and Barney runs after her saying something about Hannity and Colmes.
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NefariousNewt
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
Schick:

You will stop airing these derogatory and offensive ads immediately, or face civil litigation.

Sincerely,

Vagina, Penis, Clitoris, and Scrotum, Attorneys at Law
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nessalicious
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
I call my period my 'lady time' as it's a time only ladies can have. However pretty euphemisms for my vagina are only for novelty purposes. This is why I can't do 'sexy talk' with men. Vagina is so matter of fact, and everything else sounds daft. In fact in a 'sexy' context even vagina sounds strange. Or is that just me?
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AuntieBee
04/17/09

@nessalicious: No, no. I have no idea how to do sexy time talk. I saw an interesting talk show bit once where the 'sexpert' addressed how it's difficult for most people because the only language we have is either sciencey or porny, and neither one feels comfortable in the moment, in the intimacy.
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undomesticgoddess doesn't sleep a wink
04/17/09

@nessalicious: Vagina is not such a sexy word. I think it is because of the way you can draw out the syllables.
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nessalicious
04/17/09

@AuntieBee: Aw I would have liked to have seen that. I had an ex who was very much into sexy talking and I just battled my way through making it as 70s slush romance as possible, and sniggering waaay too much, which felt terribly mean. I once told him about a girl's hockey team gropefest which had reached Caligula style proportions by the time we stopped seeing each other.
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xen
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
That's it, I will now exclusively refer to my vagina as "Sarlacc the sand pit". Done.
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MarissaExplainsItAll
04/17/09

@xenakis333: I actually squeelled when I read that. I'm a super Star Wars nerd and am kind of peeved that I didn't come up w/ it first.
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NefariousNewt
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
All I can say watching the Quattro ads is: "You must bring us... a shrubbery!!!"
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BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
04/17/09

@NefariousNewt: I'd much rather call mine "A Shrubbery!" in the Monty Python voice. I think I will. "Husband, come hither and see... a shrubbery!"
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NerD: Blattella
04/17/09

@NefariousNewt: That Quattro ad came on a week ago, and I had no idea what it was advertising.

Future Mrs Nerd was laughing her ass off.
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femputer
04/17/09

@NerD!!!: now I am too! Really? Tulips on a mound? Nothing? Aw, you're sweet. That future Mrs. Nerd is a lucky gal.
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veronykah
04/17/09

@NefariousNewt: SO awesome. Love Monty Python.

[vids.myspace.com]
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NerD: Blattella
04/17/09

@femputer: It was Tivo'd lost last week. She stopped it and showed me again. I probably turned 8 shades of red.
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NefariousNewt
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
I'm sorry, but the term "bush" is now forever linked to our previous President, both by his name and having the mental capacity of.
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JLady
04/17/09

@NefariousNewt: It also makes me think of those 'Good bush, Bad Bush' t-shirts... they always made me laugh.
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femputer
04/17/09

@NefariousNewt: I hope you mean his mental capacity is that of an actual bush, as in a shrubbery, and not a vagina, b/c that would be an insult to vaginas everywhere.
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Jack_Burton
04/17/09

@NefariousNewt: I had a bumper sticker that said:"Lick Bush in '04."

I was pretty popular at stoplights for a while.
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Eric Northman is mine
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
Most annoying vagina euphemisms; chocha (in that Missy song), beaver, bush (ummm, it's not a forest down there) and lady garden (hmmm, so should it be floral scented down there?). When will people be comfortable just saying the word vagina not some annoying, cutesy euphemism.
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jollydolly
04/17/09

@Sookie Stackhouse: Bearded clam really irks me. Same for pink taco. Give me 'country matters' any day.
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jollydolly
04/17/09

@jollydolly: I'd like a referendum on 'vajayjay' as well. I think it's had its day.
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LindsayC: doctoral hilarity ensues
04/17/09

@Sookie Stackhouse: Perhaps we should start in childhood. If kids could stop calling their vaginas or penises their "pee-pees" we would be making progress.
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Jezemale*
04/17/09

@Sookie Stackhouse: what is a chocha?
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PrettyB is like Whoa
04/17/09

@Sookie Stackhouse: but Missy makes "choca" rhyme with "invite you ova"! vagina would clearly not rhyme.
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PaintedTrollop
04/17/09

@LindsayC: doctoral hilarity ensues:

Don't blame the kids - blame the parents for teaching them silly terms!
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Eric Northman is mine
04/17/09

@Jezemale*: "call before you come i need to shave my chocha". It's a line in the Missy Elliot Work it song. Ugh
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Nyx
04/17/09

@PaintedTrollop: Exactly! My aunt has taught my niece to refer to her ladyparts as her 'cookie'. I find this to be unbearably pervy.
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vulcanized
04/17/09

@jollydolly: SO sick of vajajay. Once Oprah says it, it's done.

In an episode of Green Wing, Sue White calls it a "sideways smile", which I sort of like. It conjures a happy image. Also, while I don't like beaver, I still like the beaver commercial because the women are so happy and out having fun with their beavers, not being all ashamed or pouring blue liquid onto various products.
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PrettyB is like Whoa
04/17/09

@PrettyB is like Whoa: i had the rhyme a little wrong. she manages to rhyme "choca" with the following:

call me ova

on your sofa

will or won't cha
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marshmallory
04/17/09

@PrettyB is like Whoa: You forgot "go downtown and eat it like a vulture." Um, no Missy.
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gherkinfiend
04/17/09

@Nyx: You should read this article and be grateful she only has a 'cookie'. Some girls may be scarred for life with some of these terms....

[www.guardian.co.uk]
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femputer
04/17/09

@jollydolly: omfg vajayjay is the worst. The only people who seem to think that is cute don't have vaginas.
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PaintedTrollop
04/17/09

@Nyx:

Yikes - that is pervy.

"Don't forget to wash your fig newton."
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barb95
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
I heard Sarah sold a screenplay (for what I'm not sure), but congrats!: )
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undomesticgoddess doesn't sleep a wink
04/17/09

@barb95: I hope this is true! I love her!
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femputer
04/17/09

@barb95: NEED. DETAILS. sarah, we know you read this site - spill the beans!!
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LolaQuinn is full of beans
04/17/09

@barb95: God I want to see that. If I could arrange a threeway between her, me, and Tina Fey, I could die happy.

"No. I'm going to tell Drew that I'm having a little welcome to the building party for him. But there is no party. And then when he shows up, I'll laugh and say 'oh it's the wrong night.' And then he'll laugh and say 'one glass couldn't hurt.' And then I will put my mouth on his mouth!"

That's EXACTLY how I'm gonna arrange that meeting.
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egg cream
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
I had no idea the word "semiotics" could make me LOL.
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Laulau
04/17/09

@egg cream: I know! I guffawed and then immediately had to send the link to my brother.
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happysquid
04/17/09

In reply to Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
That "moving the lawn" ad = SUPER-offensive.

Mother Nature makes me think (*JUST A LITTLE BIT) of Tammie Brown...
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Tequila Mockingbird
04/17/09

@happysquid: The oriental one has a bonzai tree.
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happysquid
04/17/09

@IrockIroll: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO POLITICAL CORRECTNESS?!?!?!

:goes to cry in her 90s time machine:
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maneki neko
04/17/09

@happysquid: ajghakjdathajktagdghadquyyrty4wq35uy7345y7

How did they get away with this commercial? The Black woman winks about "big bushes" and the Asian woman talks about "small gardens"?

It's like they were trying to be as offensive as possible.
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