It's clear that Ferrell's sense of her own awesomeness and importance remains undimmed, even by charges of check forgery, fraud and theft that carry a sentence of up to 12 years (ABC says she'll probably get less). Here are a few Kari-on-Kari tidbits:

— On her story's appeal: "As far as this whole story is concerned, I think that the reason it has been such a big deal is because I am pretty, intelligent and very well spoken. I am charming and funny."
— On her IQ: "I've always been intelligent for my age."
— On how other people just don't get her: "I'm just outspoken and I say funny things that are ridiculous and I assumed that people would be able to understand that they're jokes. Apparently they don't."
— On how other people are fame-whores: "Everybody wants their 15 minutes of fame. They wanted to be in the media. They wanted to be a victim of the quote-unquote Hipster Grifter."
— On how she's smarter than her teachers: "In history I always asked about the war in the Philippines or how Columbus slaughtered millions of people. And that's not what they teach in the public schools in Utah. The teachers had no idea what to do me." [sic]
— On being a high-school high-roller: "They had me at $11.75 an hour. At the time that was amazing because all the people I knew still in high school were working at Little Caesars for five bucks an hour."
— On the media: "[Y]ou guys are crazy. You'll go anywhere."

Given that Ferrell skipped bail in Salt Lake City to come to New York, then boarded a bus to Philadelphia to turn herself in, this seems like a bit of pot-kettle rhetoric. But what makes Ferrell so watchable — other than, of course, her attractiveness, intelligence, and charm — is her heady mix of self-aggrandizement and total lack of self-awareness. She's currently enjoying the reading time jail provides (one fave: Douglas Coupland's All Families Are Psychotic), but when her sentence is through she plans to return to New York. She says, "If there is anywhere that can forgive, it would be New York." Oh, and,

I like guys who dress really, really nicely but have beards. Living in New York was great because you have these Wall Street investment bankers that had these nice-fitted suits and then beards. It was amazing.

So bearded New Yorkers, watch the fuck out. Unless of course, you "want to be a victim of the quote-unquote Hipster Grifter." And really, who wouldn't?

Exclusive: Fake Checks, Sexual Come-Ons and Now Jail — The Hipster Grifter Speaks Out [ABC News]

For instance: Catoptrophilia is the "unusual titillation in the presence of mirrors." This is not just about installing a mirror above the bed, this is getting off on your "a psychic double or doppelganger." Writes Saknussemm: "A female interviewee put it very succinctly: 'She knows what I like.'"

There's pogonophilia, the fixation on bearded men — perhaps hipster grifter territory? Chremastistophilia is excitement at being robbed or held up. Agalmatophilia is the arousal by statues, mannequins, dolls and effigies; acrotomophilia/apotemnophilia — attraction to amputees and the fascination with being an amputee. Formicophilia is the obsession with very tiny creatures - like insects, for example. Like ants. YES. ANTS. Arachibutyrophilia has to do with peanut butter; melophilia is arousal through music; eremophilia — which Saknussemm has — is arousal within deserted places.

But possibly the most interesting fetish (to me) on this list is macrophilia: The attraction to someone larger — or domination by giant women. Saknussemm explains:

Remember those 1950s horror films about colossal women? For those who love to be afraid of very big women, the Museum of Sex in New York has a fabulous exhibit on this fetish. More mundanely, we see hints of it in all those odd couples: little, reedy men and large, "ample" women. I met one couple where the size difference was so profound, the husband was referred to intimately as "The Dildo" - his whole body was seen as a sexual organ relative to his massive partner's bulk and stature.

Between Dance Your Ass Off, Tyra and the "squashers", this sculpture from the sex theme park, and the endless talk about Beth Ditto, macrophilia seems really… popular right now.

My Ten Favorite Fetishes [Nerve]

The metrognome comes in several forms. There is the archetypal Pacific Northwestern/Western metrognome, of course, attired in flannels and beard year-round. The metrognome was originally identified, in fact, in San Francisco. The southern metrognome has been known to evoke the Civil War. Then there is the seasonal metrognome, who comes out only when the weather grows cold. This varietal wears a beard, yes, but his clothing also becomes considerably more rugged than is his wont, or than is necessary in an urban environment. The metrognome is not to be confused with the Bear, who is characterized by a certain natural burly hirsuteness. The metrognome transformation, by contrast, is completely inorganic and owes nothing to actual appearance. As "metro" implies, there is an element of deliberate grooming and styling involved.

The metrognome will often claim a beard is for warmth. But there is also an element of dandified defiance to it: the metrognome says: I am not part of "the system." The establishment has no hold on the metrognome! His appearance implies: in my heart, I am cut out for the challenges of the wild. I master the elements and am obscurely connected to an earlier time. When the writers' strike occurred, talk show hosts couldn't go metrognome fast enough. Whereas most metrognomes have to deal with the awkward growing-out stage for a few weeks in November, their public shearing was a Samson-like loss of metrognome powers. And does the metrognome have powers? Well, anecdotal reports are inconclusive: some women find the metrognome cozy and cuddly; others somewhat silly and scratchy. One thing is for sure: he's coming to a microbrewery near you, and the time is nigh.

[Los Angeles, October 10. Image via FilmMagic.]