beards - Jezebel

posts about #beards more →
British Students Explore Masculinity With Beards, Nonalcoholic Beer
Jailhouse Interview: "Hipster Grifter" Still Living In Own Bizarro-World
"Be Gentle."
Peanut Butter, Beards & Big Babes: Know Your Sex Fetishes
Hair Apparent
Field Guide To Guys: The Modern Metrognome
Jake Gyllenhaal Looks Uncomfortable With New (Literal) Beard

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cand86
11/23/09

In reply to British Students Explore Masculinity With Beards, Nonalcoholic Beer
"However, Martin Daubney, 39, editor of the lads' magazine Loaded, was contemptuous. "I don't think men are remotely confused about what it takes to be a man. They just get on and do it. My generation would not sit round and build a website about being confused. It's complete navel-gazing bullshit.""

Dude is just crying out to be held and talked to and listened to by other loving men, after having been awarded his "Fastest Growing Beard" award, of course.

But really, if they do what they purport to do, these groups sound awesome and I'm all behind 'em.
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token_illiterate_commenter
11/23/09

In reply to British Students Explore Masculinity With Beards, Nonalcoholic Beer
Being a Man means you have a penis. That's it and that's all it means. The rest is individual behavior. Being a good man is being a good person. Although I'm not above getting in a good beard growing contest.
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PsychicPsycho3
11/23/09

@token_illiterate_commenter: Incorrect, being MALE means you have XY chromosomes and a penis, being a man is different. It's just like how being a woman and being female are different things and how this blog spends its whole life trying to point that out!
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token_illiterate_commenter
11/23/09

@PsychicPsycho3: Being told to "be a man" is no different than a woman being told "put on your big girl panties". What is usually described as being a man is putting others before yourself, and accepting responsibility. Those attributes that are pretty universal.
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Edited by token_illiterate_commenter at 11/23/09 12:24 PM

greeneyedfem
11/23/09

@token_illiterate_commenter: I don't think that this is what PsychicPsycho3 meant, but I just wanted to point out that many men do not have penises.

I agree with you on the individual behavior and good person stuff, I just need to also represent my trans peeps.

(Peeps? Where am I, 1998? I need coffee.)
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morninggloria
11/23/09

In reply to British Students Explore Masculinity With Beards, Nonalcoholic Beer
Real men would have pubes-growing contests.
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Tchotchke
11/23/09

In reply to British Students Explore Masculinity With Beards, Nonalcoholic Beer
I can't wait until these universities de-mystify feminity for me. My guess is that it involves green face masks, bra shopping and squealing over boys.
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badmutha
11/23/09

In reply to British Students Explore Masculinity With Beards, Nonalcoholic Beer
Pffft. I have no confusion about what being a woman means: having the babies, wearing the cute shoes, and supporting my loving man in his search for himself. Duh.
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futuremouse
11/23/09

In reply to British Students Explore Masculinity With Beards, Nonalcoholic Beer
A sober pub crawl sounds like about as much fun as watching grass grow, or, as it were, beards.
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curiousgeorgiana
11/23/09

In reply to British Students Explore Masculinity With Beards, Nonalcoholic Beer
I wish we'd spend a little less time discovering our masculinity or our femininity and more time discovering our humanity.
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utensil42
11/23/09

@curiousgeorgiana: That is immediately going to be embroidered on pillows for everyone I know.
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badmutha
11/23/09

@curiousgeorgiana: As always, you have a gift for cutting through the crap and getting to the heart of things.
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effgeevee
11/23/09

@curiousgeorgiana: Oh goodness, me too. What is so wrong with just thinking about what it takes to be, and trying to be, a decent person?
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SarahMC
11/23/09

In reply to British Students Explore Masculinity With Beards, Nonalcoholic Beer
"confusion as to what being a man means."

God I am so fucking sick of this crap.
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KaneBaker
11/23/09

@SarahMC: So you basically share the viewpoint of the editor of Loaded who used 'bullshit instead of crap. The alternate is learning masculinity from Maxim and Loaded. If their claims are legitimate, men do need a lot of support during the college years. The amount of peer pressure encouraging men to be assholes is daunting. I do acknowledge that a lot of these groups are pure BS. But don't dismiss the needs of human being for moral support in an immoral environment.
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Trulymadlyme
11/23/09

@SarahMC: Why? Because I think it's a good thing to dispose of some of the shitty behaviors and pressures endemic in what society defines as being "manly" in order to eliminate the oppression of misogyny for everyone. If you have a problem with people pointing out that some of the most negative aspects of normative masculinity are troubling and should be changed (such as, let's say, the normalization of violence as a means of expression), then I just don't know how one ought to go about addressing and changing these issues. Because gender is so ingrained in societies and its demands derive so much of what people do to be accepted, changing the meaning of masculinity to something that promotes the humanity of everyone is a really fucking good thing.

Then again, maybe you're being sarcastic? It's hard to read when someone is being serious in a brief internet comment. I'm going to assume the best because otherwise, just wow.
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Edited by Trulymadlyme at 11/23/09 11:15 AM Trulymadlyme was starred Trulymadlyme was unstarred

PsychicPsycho3
11/23/09

@SarahMC: I'm sick of this kind of attitude from starred commenters on a blog about what being a woman means.
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Trulymadlyme
11/23/09

@KaneBaker: Exactly. Want to talk about the high degree of alcoholism in men? Maybe it's because many men opt to drink their feelings rather than using talk therapy or going to a psychiatrist. Want to know why? Maybe it's that bullshit image of the strong, silent type who doesn't talk about their feelings.
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Edited by Trulymadlyme at 11/23/09 11:15 AM Trulymadlyme was starred Trulymadlyme was unstarred

telecomic the thoughtful red panda
11/23/09

@SarahMC: I would think that part of being a feminist would be to appreciate the difficulties in being a woman in today's society, navigating a world with confusing, contradictory messages. It's no different for men, not one iota. It's taken me a good 18 years to act the man I always thought I should be when I turned 18, and I look back at my 20s now with a sense of "dude, you were an IDIOT!" than with the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia. I completely get the reasons for this line of study.

We can't all be naturally funny, handsome, good earners, stylish, outdoorsy, communicative yet still the strong silent type, able to fix broken cars and hearts with ease.
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SarahMC
11/23/09

@KaneBaker: Yes, I think it's bullshit that anyone needs to know "how to act" according to their sex. Masculinity & femininity are both nonsense concepts and the sooner people forget about them the better off we'd all be as a species. Men are "lost" in their masculinity now because women are gaining more and more freedom. We're doing things that are allegedly "masculine." Uh oh!
And what are men if not the "opposite" of women? Ugh I hate it.

#tips
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LilSpitfire
11/23/09

@SarahMC: I think men are having a harder time with this change because women CHOOSE to have a revolution and men were kind of forced into it.

We were organized and knew what we wanted...they didn't.

This is why we need an official 4th wave of feminism...to pull the boys up along side us in self-actualization.

I want a partnership with guys..not step on them on my ascent. I sometimes feel like this is what feminism expects women to act like now and I think it's just as bad.

There is nothing wrong with football, beer, beards etc...but we need to divorce those activities from a violent masculinity.
My baby brother alludes to this feeling like he is worthless because he's a boy and doesn't understand or know what to expect from himself or what society wants of him and it breaks my heart.

You don't always need to push others down to pull yourself up.
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SarahMC
11/23/09

@all: I seriously did not expect this push-back? I don't think it's healthy to base your life on a social construct tied to your sex. That's it.
#tips
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madeofawesome
11/23/09

@SarahMC: I think it sounds like another excuse to enforce traditional gender roles. Learning what "being a man means" should be the same as learning what being a woman means: how to be a responsible, compassionate, educated (oh, but not always) adult, and how to contribute to society at large.
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KaneBaker
11/23/09

@Trulymadlyme: I know people from my high-school that encountered this problem. Two of them drink and say talking about shit is for sissies and are generally unpleasant drunks and generally unpleasant to be around. One went to therapy and leads a happy life. Now the sad part, the last few times i saw the former I saw moments of humanity in them where they wanted to open up, but it was brief and it was quickly covered by false bravado and machoism.

I think in some cases being away form other men is good for these people in developing their non 'men' side, but I think establishing that you don't have to be an asshole while in the presence of other men is just as important.
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Trulymadlyme
11/23/09

@madeofawesome: I think that's the point. But right now, the expectations of gender do not follow this thinking. I see groups like this promoting everyone's humanity by addressing the omnipresent reality that engendered behavior drives what people do and how they treat each other.
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LilSpitfire
11/23/09

@SarahMC: I guess I hear from my father (one of my best friends in the world) and how his father was a workaholic who never saw the family or interacted with the kids, and it kills him. Than my grandfather died young and it killed my dad because he never got to know him.

I know so many stories of guys of various generations who are overworked and never get to see their families.

It's a potent story of the American male life and needs to be addressed.

Sorry to make you feel like we ganged up on you.
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KaneBaker
11/23/09

@SarahMC: I'm hoping that a proper "men" group will exactly do that. I don't know if the group in the example is real or BS for that purpose. But realize your knee jerk reaction to dismiss it and call it crap is rather painful to the men that actually strive for that goal and want to make a difference and break down the douche bag status quo. I think it's most likely that you and I see eye to eye on what we want to achieve.
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SarahMC
11/23/09

@LilSpitfire: But it's not like I'm arguing that the old masculinity wasn't toxic. Masculinity is toxic. It will always BE toxic because by it's very nature, it is constructed as the opposite of femininity (whateverthefuck that is).

#tips
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KaneBaker
11/23/09

@madeofawesome: There are men that already learned it, this is not the target. I think it's the fratboy core that could benefit from this. This could be like a help group for bullies or anger management. Sometimes it takes people with the same problem to admit to the problem, if it is to be tackled. My objection is to a knee jerk reaction to this type of group, since i realize there will be Men groups that server no other purpose that reinforcing their dominance.
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IndignationCoordinator
11/23/09

In reply to British Students Explore Masculinity With Beards, Nonalcoholic Beer
And afterward, a trip to a football game, wearing blinders and earmuffs to impede any sensorial stimulation whatsoever.
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ItchykooParker
11/23/09

In reply to British Students Explore Masculinity With Beards, Nonalcoholic Beer
"Sober pub crawl"? Get outta the fucking way, dudes. Jeesh.
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gherkinfiend
11/23/09

@ItchykooParker: Yeah, that's the attitude that leads to endemic and dangerous binge drinking on British university campuses, particularly by young men.

A few weeks ago a guy on an organised pub crawl urinated on a decorated war memorial...

[news.bbc.co.uk]

Maybe if young men could be encouraged not to feel they have to get that drunk, living in the UK might be a bit more fun.
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ItchykooParker
11/23/09

@gherkinfiend: I understand your point, but I think there is a spectrum between the two points of "that drunk" and "completely sober pub crawl". A completely sober pub crawl, unless you an alcoholic, sounds like a terribly boring and pointless event to me.

#tips
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Mrs. Stephen Fry
09/14/09

In reply to Jailhouse Interview: "Hipster Grifter" Still Living In Own Bizarro-World
I don't like her. This might come as surprise to her, since she is so "charming."
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pennies.allover
09/14/09

In reply to Jailhouse Interview: "Hipster Grifter" Still Living In Own Bizarro-World
Since we don't body/face snark on Jezebel, I really don't have much to say in response save for, "Huh."
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HollywoodCookieMonster
09/14/09

In reply to Jailhouse Interview: "Hipster Grifter" Still Living In Own Bizarro-World
Symptoms:

1. Glibness/superficial charm
2. Grandiose sense of self-worth
3. Pathological lying
4. Cunning/manipulative
5. Lack of remorse or guilt
6. Emotionally shallow
7. Callous/lack of empathy
8. Failure to accept responsibility for own
9.Socially deviant lifestyle
10. Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
11. Parasitic lifestyle
12. Poor behavioral control
13. Promiscuous sexual behavior
14. Lack of realistic, long-term goals
15. Impulsiveness
16. Irresponsibility
17. Juvenile delinquency
18. Early behavioral problems
19. Revocation of conditional release

Diagnosis: Total freak'in Psychopath

Thanks Wikipedia!
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suck_it_monkeys
09/14/09

@HollywoodCookieMonster: Oh noes, I was a total psycho in my early 20s and I didn't even know it!
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Valkyrie607
09/14/09

@HollywoodCookieMonster: Whoa. For a second, I thought you were talking about Joe Wilson.
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greengrey
09/14/09

In reply to Jailhouse Interview: "Hipster Grifter" Still Living In Own Bizarro-World
"because I am pretty, intelligent and very well spoken."
*sigh*
Doesn't she know the minute you say this, it gives people the chance to say "um, no, you're not".
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morninggloria
09/14/09

@greengrey: It's sort of like saying "I'm so classy!"
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gold_gato
09/14/09

@morninggloria: "I'm NOT about the drama"
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morninggloria
09/14/09

In reply to Jailhouse Interview: "Hipster Grifter" Still Living In Own Bizarro-World
Charles Manson did countercultural criminal so much better.
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