[Paris, November 12. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Los Angeles, November 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• And now, the cold, hard, retail reality sets in: Neiman Marcus and Net-A-Porter are dropping Ungaro for Spring. Barneys and Saks also aren't ordering. Lindsay Lohan and Mounir Moufarrige, what have you wrought! [Style.com]

• Ashley Tisdale does not yearn for a clothing line. "I've started a production company; I guess that's kind of my clothing line," says the actress. [WWD]
• The incredible Alexander McQueen shoes — both the bulbous hoof ones, and the ones that look like some piece of anthropomorphic weaponry out of eXistenZ, which Lady Gaga wore in the video for "Bad Romance" — are apparently a hit. The designer says he's been inundated with calls from women wanting to buy the so-called "Alien" shoes, albeit some who are interested in them as art pieces. The process by which the shoes are made is protected by copyright, says a spokesperson for the brand. No word on whether a commercial version will be produced for wide sale; McQueen is mulling a charity auction for the runway samples. [Grazia]
• Carlos Falchi's line of handbags for Target is in stores now through December 27th. The designer says, if he didn't have his current job, "I'd like to be a Brazilian cowboy." [TFI]
• Victoria Beckham's people are denying the rumors she is planning, with Simon Fuller, to open a modeling agency — perhaps a U.S. branch of Storm, in which Fuller holds a controlling stake — in New York. "There is absolutely no truth in the story regarding Victoria Beckham and Simon Fuller opening a modeling agency in New York," says her spokesman. "Victoria is concentrating all her efforts on her fashion line and her family." [Vogue UK]
• Daniel Lalonde, president of Louis Vuitton, basically confirmed Lara Stone will be the face of the spring campaign. [The Cut]
• Betsey Johnson is redesigning her stores. Gone will be the hot-pink walls, replaced with white walls and checkerboard floors, to better display the clothes. [Racked]
• Dooney & Bourke co-founder Frederic Bourke has been sentenced to 366 days in prison and a $1 million fine for his role in a failed scheme to bribe Azeri officials into privatizing Azerbaijan's oil company, which would have essentially deprived the country of profits from its greatest national resource. Bourke is appealing. [WWD]
• Model Karmen Pedaru spent a year as goalie on an Estonian national soccer team. [W]
• Funny, the only item this list of How To Look Like Gisele Bundchen is missing is: being born to look like Gisele Bundchen. (OK, so Nars Orgasm is bog standard by now, but $475 moisturizer? Come on.) [Blackbook]
• The BHV — pretty much the most awesome department store in Paris — is getting Beth Ditto and Jean-Charles de Castelbajac to do its holiday windows. Meanwhile, stately old Printemps has Natalia Vodianova. [WWD]
• The British Fashion Council will give an award to the winner of a public vote on who best "embodies the spirit of London." Nominees include Alexa Chung, Kate Moss, and Vivienne Westwood. [BFC]
• Jeffrey Monteiro might be taking over as head designer at Bill Blass. [WWD]
• Liz Lange is launching a lifestyle shopping site, apparently kind of like Gilt crossed with Daily Candy. [Crains]
• People are trying to save Luella on the Internet. [Fashionista]
• The Gossip Girl timeline is apparently now forever divided by the caesura of the Threesome; say Before The Threesome or After The Threesome, and everyone immediately knows what you mean. The boys on the show have been wearing a lot of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's line, Elizabeth & James, People notes. [People]
• Jason Wu is doing a capsule collection for Tse this spring. [WWD]
• Anthropologie is the most profitable of the three Urban Outfitters brands, quarterly results reveal. [TS]
• Marie Osmond is licensing her name to a fashion and home decor line. Every last piece in the Marie Lifestyle Collection will retail for under $100. Expect to see it in stores later this month. [UPI]
• Donna Karan's West Indies home is currently making us cry bitter tears of envy from our very black souls. [SB]

[Los Angeles, November 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Lindsay Lohan is speaking out about her dad. "I hate him so much," she told Gossip Cop. And:

"My father knows nothing other than how to sell stories for money instead of getting a real job like normal people do, including myself." [MSNBC via Gossip Cop]

• Dina Lohan called TMZ last night and said that Michael Lohan releasing these old phone conversations is "so hurtful" and that for him to use a moment of weakness of his own child is "inconceivable." She also said that all of the calls were before Lindsay went to Cirque Lodge for rehab, and that Lindsay thinks that the whole situation is sad. Dina pointed out that she was a victim of domestic abuse when she was married to Michael, and for her to see him hurting her daughter is "unforgivable." [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, there's new phone recording audio on Radar, courtesy of Michael Lohan. Dina says of Lindsay: "Time is running out with this kid." [Radar Online]
• For the love of blond. WHY? Why is Al Roker going to interview Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt again? As you may recall, Al talked to the two in June — video here — and afterward, Heidi accused him of sexism, when really he was treating them BOTH as vacuous nincompoops. Because they are. Gah. [Us]
• Lou Dobbs quit CNN abruptly last night. [NY Post]
• The Perry-Brands — Katy and Russell — have "secretly" recorded a duet of Edward Lear's 1871 poem The Owl And The Pussycat. Russell's part goes, "'Oh lovely Pussy! Oh Pussy my love, what a beautiful Pussy you are." A "source" says: "They often use the nicknames Owl and Pussycat. Russell is 'Owl' because he's wise and, well, it's fairly obvious that Katy's a sex kitten, isn't it?" [The Sun]
• Carrie Prejean was on Larry King Live last night, and when Larry King asked about her settlement with Miss California USA, she unplugged her mic and threatened to walk off the show. Her haughty self-righteousness makes me want to scream. [TMZ]
• Carrie Prejean's ex-boyfriend says that she called him last week and tried to get him to lie and say she was 17 when she shot her "solo sex tape." Maybe she was hoping it wouldn't get released if she was a minor? In any case, she was 20 when the footage was shot. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin is accusing TLC of violating child labor laws. He also claims that during filming, TLC wouldn't let him take pictures at home… meaning he "could not photograph or record his own family moments and hallmark events in his family's life." [Radar Online]
• Tara Reid has a German internet entrepreneur/billionaire boyfriend, to whom she may or may not be engaged. She is currently wearing a "massive" pink diamond ring and "was overheard" talking about her engagement. The ring is here, and it is indeed a whopper. [Daily telegraph, via E!]
• Mike Tyson has been detained on suspicion of battery after an incident and LAX — involving paparazzi. Few details at the moment, stay tuned. [USA Today]
• Oh wait here we go: Mike Tyson and a photographer made citizen's arrests of one another! The snapper was taking his picture in the terminal, and Mike allegedly punched the guy in the face with one hand, knocking him to the ground. The photographer suffered a laceration to the forehead and went to the hospital; Mike was booked at a nearby LAPD station and then released. He'd been traveling with his wife and 10-month-old baby. His rep says: "Mr. Tyson did absolutely nothing wrong, he was the victim in this case." [People]
• Susan Boyle has a stalker, "a middle-aged American woman who has become obsessed with her." Or maybe she dreamed a dream? [The Sun]
• Taylor Swift was named the Country Music Awards entertainer of the year and won all four awards for which she was nominated. [NY Daily News]
• Meryl Streep to a 9-year-old reporter: "That's the most sophisticated question that anyone in this entire press line has asked me. Really, really good." [Page Six]
• If you are interested in stalking Jared Leto, this list of his favorite places in New York should make the job a lot easier. [BlackBook]
• Ron Livingston and Rosemarie DeWitt were married November 2 in San Francisco. [People]
• Ashley Jensen, aka Christina on Ugly Betty, Maggie on Extras and Olivia on Accidentally On Purpose, has given birth to a son, Francis Jonathan Beesley — whose nickname is "Frankie Jack." [People]
• Eddie Murphy has had a long-term effect on ad agency diversity, and this piece explains how. It's kind of awesome. [Ad Age]
• Back in June, Gene Simmons said that coming out would ruin Adam Lambert's career; now Glambert is calling Gene "obnoxious" and a "hypocrite," adding "He's not the greatest singer. He's a good businessman, I'll give him that." [Gatecrasher via Rolling Stone]
• Joss Whedon's Dollhouse: Cancelled. [NY Daily News]
• Jay Leno's new show has "limp" ratings; David Letterman's ratings remain strong despite his scandal. [NY Daily News]
• The late Dominick Dunne outs himself in his autobiographical novel, which comes out December 15. The main character is "deep in the closet." Earlier this year, Dunne told the Times of London: "I call myself a closeted bisexual celibate… That's just the way I am. At 83, it's too late to start on a new path." [Page Six]
• Rumor has it Marc Christian, the lover of Hollywood icon Rock Hudson, has died of a drug overdose. More info to come, hopefully. [Michael Musto]
• "My grandmother once told me, you should be honest with your kids, but you don't bare your soul to them." — Jon Gosselin. [NY Post]
• "I used to drink an awful lot of coffee, but I was told after the age of 40 you have to be careful with coffee and wine. Apparently, that can be one of the reasons older women get bloated around their stomach… I don't miss having a glass of wine because I've switched to vodka. I don't really like vodka that much but if I'm at a party I have a small one with a lot of fizzy water and a huge squeeze of lime. Initially it's like medicine but I've got used to it now." — Liz Hurley. [Daily Mail]
• "I always said in my life that when it doesn't feel joyous any more, then it will be time to quit. But the joy is getting better and better." — Clarence Clemons, 67, who still tours with Bruce Springsteen and the E street band, though both knees have been replaced and he spent a long time in a wheelchair. He also says: "I'll be 70 years old in a couple of years. I don't know how much energy I'll have left. That energy, I want to spend with my family. [But] I really believe that this is something that is going to go on forever. When I say `retiring,' I don't mean `stop playing music.'" [AP]
• "At school when a teacher asked me a question I would almost pass out. I was terrible and I still can be. It overwhelms me. I can be having dinner with people and I find I can't say a word. So being an actress is kind of masochistic." — French bombshell Eva Green is super shy and hates being the center of attention. [Daily Express]
• "I was at a movie and a woman was whispering to a man the entire time what was going on-like 'Oh, he's walking through the door now, look, he's doing this, he's doing that.' And I got so mad that as they were rolling credits, I turned around and said, 'Thank you for the ongoing commentary.' And the guy said, 'I'm blind!' and I said, 'Well, then, sit in the back.' My friend who I was with was mortified. I don't know where that came from — my Sue Sylvester came streaming out. I'm telling a blind woman she can't sit up here with the rest of us who can see." — Jane Lynch. [Double X]
• "Everybody bitches about everything." — Stephen King, on the Internet. [Page Six]

[LAX, November 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, November 10. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The Times's Sarah Maslin talks to John Barrett, who has a salon inside of tony Bergdorf Goodman in Manhattan. He says:

"It's aspirational hair."

In other words, you can dream about it… that doesn't mean you're going to get it.

Nuri Yurt, of Toka Salon on Madison Avenue, whose clients include several former first ladies, says almost all of his customers with long hair ask for Blake Lively's cut, but:

The look, he said, only works for tall, slim women.

In other words, you fatties and shorties need not apply.

Michael Wilson of Bumble & Bumble also warns you not to get your hopes up: "Trouble is, some girls are born with amazing hair," he says, adding that Blake Lively's hair "sets an unrealistic expectation."

Barett can get your tresses like Blake Lively's if you have $1,200 a month to spend on extensions, treatments, haircuts and styling at his salon.

When Maslin talks to Blake Lively herself, and lets her know how popular her hair is, Blake says: "That's always kind of odd, but unbelievably flattering." And. Just to make you feel worse, she tells the reporter that her hair is mostly natural — the color gets touched up every six months, and the "unraveling curls" are created not with fancy techniques and curling irons, but by letting her hair dry in a simple chignon.

To hammer the final nail in the coffin, Lively adds: "I was born with a head full of hair."

A ‘Gossip Girl' Look, Pronto! [NY Times]

[Los Angeles, November 10. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, November 10. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, November 8. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, November 8. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[London, November 9. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• A baby for Jay-Z and Beyoncé!?! Apparently they're working on it. [Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay Lohan was spotted in an alley behind LA's Crow Bar, talking on her cell phone and crying. And, naturally, there are pictures. [Daily Mail]

• Madonna is supposed to go to Brazil to meet Jesus' parents; people are taking this as a sign that an engagement is "in the cards." This paper points out that Madge is 51 and Jesus' mom is 36. Does that happen when Hugh Hefner dates barely legals? No. [The Sun]
• Britney Spears is "extremely upset" by a report in Australia that fans stormed out of her Circus tour because she was lipsyncing. A rep says that she is "embarrassed" to be "part of the Australian media" that has "totally inaccurate reporting" and that the article about hundreds of fans leaving is "the biggest lie." [News.com.au, Reuters]
• John Mayer on the Britney lip-sync scandal: "If you're shocked that Britney was lip-syncing at her concert and want your money back, life may continue to be hard for you." [People]
• BREAKING: Jay-Z is the new Sinatra. Adjust accordingly. [NY Tmes]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: On! They attended a rugby match together on Saturday. Last month they allegedly had "a rather grown up, intimate dinner" at someplace called Beach Blanket Babylon. [People]
• Levi Johnston and Jon Gosselin posed for pictures together in Times Square over the weekend and yet the planet did not self-destruct. [NY Daily News]
• Hmm: Jon Gosselin is going to Hawaii for the wedding of Phillies outfielder Shane Victorino. [TMZ]
• Just what your Monday needs: A chart detailing how Nicolas Coppola became Nicolas Cage. [New York]
• It certainly looks like Bruce Springsteen's concert put Glenn Close to sleep. Unless she is blinking? [TMZ]
• Cate Blanchett looks regal — and yet unreal —on the December issue of Vogue. [The Life Files]
• Iman, Donna Karan and Agyness Deyn were seen teary at a screening of Precious. [Page Six]
• Gwyneth Palrow joins Nicole Kidman in The Danish Girl, a film adaptation of the David Ebershoff novel that tells the story of a relationship between the first post-operative transsexual, Einar Wegener, and his wife, Greta. It'll be directed by Thomas Alfredson, who shot the sublime Let The Right One In. [Variety]
• Sacha Baron Cohen has created Four By Two films, a production company which will generate comedies starring Sacha Baron Cohen. [Variety]
• Oh lord. There's a film in the works called Sheneneh and Wanda — which would star Jamie Foxx and Martin Lawrence playing their famous female characters. According to this report: "The project originated as a parody of a movie trailer for a film called Skank Robbers, which Foxx and Lawrence made for the BET Awards." Uplifting! [Variety]
• You know how Randy Quaid was arrested for running out on a $10,000 hotel bill? This story, titled "Randy Quaid's Journey From Actor To Alleged Felon," tells you everything you need to know. Apparently Randy exhibited "oddball" behavior back in 2007; his wife Evi called someone a "Nazi bitch" in 2008. [People]
• At the link, six ways Jon Hamm has an impact beyond Mad Men. [NY Daily News]
• Jim Carrey's website is "trippy," and has a "fantastical, psychedelic vibe." It looks like a Dali painting but from someone who likes Canada, hockey and octopi. [NY Daily News]
• Are you interested in seeing Susan Boyle sing on Dancing With The Stars? [NY Daily News]
• Susan Boyle says she is getting back on track, but things were hectic for a while: "My life ceased to be normal when Britain's Got Talent went live… There were phone calls 24 hours a day. They kept me awake for three weeks until I changed my number. It was totally out of control, like a steamroller. It just got bigger and bigger and bigger until, eventually, it can flatten you." [MSNBC Scoop]
• In her new play, Nightingale, Lynn Redgrave takes a look at "the life of Beatrice Kempson, her maternal grandmother, a woman she barely knew and wanted to know better." [AP]
• Dennis Hopper is undergoing an experimental treatment for prostate cancer. "It has great promise," he says. "Everything's good right now." [EW]
• Whee: The Wanda Sykes Show got pretty good ratings! [Variety]
• Michael Jackson's kids helped a dog named Scooby Roo get some wheels. [TMZ]
• Reality show mini series The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty — which focuses on Jackie, Jermaine, Tito and Marlon — airs on A&E December 13. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Jackson is looking for $15,000 a month from Michael Jackson's estate. [Mirror]
• "People want an answer of when we'll be back, and I think it's impossible… It's unfair to say when we'll do Fall Out Boy again. It's hard to be creative. You just feel compressed all the time. We just want to let ourselves decompress." — Pete Wentz, whose band is releasing a greatest hits CD. [ONTD via Music Radar]
• "I come from the slums, I come from a hard background, I come from a poor family, and I was a soldier. And I was a soldier in a war that was a little bit different, so I know what I am talking about, more than most people do. With this script, it was as though someone had been reading my thoughts." — Michael Caine on new "urban western" film Harry Brown. [Telegraph]
• "I'm my own worst critic, and I don't need any more negativity in my life. So I go to my Web site and see good reviews and things that make me feel good." — Carrie Underwood likes visiting her fan site. [UPI]
• "I can't think of a single romantic thing that I've ever done. I would never serenade someone to be romantic – you have to have so much balls to do that. I put a flower in someone's locker when I was 15 years old, this girl called Maria. She thought that it was someone else and the other guy claimed it as well, which is great." — Sparkle Vamp Robert Pattinson is still trying to get the Twihards off his back. Or front. Whatever. [People]
• "I get quite obsessive about things, and possessive as well. I have very, very specific ideas about how I want to do my work and how I want to be perceived, to the point of ridiculousness sometimes. I don't listen to anyone else. That's why I don't have a publicist — I can't stand it if someone's trying to tell me to do something which might be a mistake." — Robert Pattinson. [People]
• "Outside London where I lived, there was no gay pub or bar you could go to. And even if you found one, it was 'Knock three times and ask for Louis.' It was horrible living this secret life. You could feel a little bit what it was like to be a Jew in central Europe during a certain period. It was horrible." — Sir Ian McKellan. [Metro.co.uk]
• "You adore music more than anything in the world, you have a great passion. But that doesn't mean you had to marry the lead singer of every band you ever had a poster of on your bedroom wall." — Patsy Kensit — who has married Dan Donovan of Big Audio Dynamite, Jim Kerr of Simple Minds, Liam Gallagher of Oasis — in a letter to her teenage self. [Daily Express]
• "It would be interesting for people to see that side of me." — 50 Cent would like to be in a romantic comedy. [Gatecrasher]
• "Desperation. I had a sick mom. I wanted to make her feel better. I used to go in there, aged seven or so, and do impressions of praying mantises, weird things, whatever. I'd bounce off the walls and throw myself down the stairs." — Jim Carrey on the origin of his comedic instincts. [Daily Express]
• "It's not just an old person singing covers, no, thank God." — Marianne Faithfull on her new CD. [AP]
• "Every song that you hear on the album has an element of freedom in it. If it's the way that I'm singing, or the style that I'm explaining something. For me, freedom is a big deal — I think for all of us because we're all looking for our wings to fly, to not be held back, to be free to be who we are. So that's another reason why I called it The Element of Freedom." — Alicia Keys. [CNN]
• "I gained three pounds since yesterday. I weigh myself every day. Today I vowed that I was going to wear flats, and then last second, I threw on some heels. I can't wait to sit down already. It's hard carrying extra weight. I'm over the red carpet being pregnant." — Kourtney Kardashian. [NY Daily News]

[Los Angeles, November 7. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, November 7. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, November 7. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, November 6. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Vancouver, November 6. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[London, November 7. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]