In Japan, "toilet poems" are part of a new effort to make squatters consider their toilet paper usage. The Japanese Toilet Labu (I took Japanese in college, so I know this roughly translates to: Japanese Toilet Lab) research center is putting poems like, "that paper will meet you only for a moment" and "love the toilet" at eye-level in public bathroom stalls. It's genius, really. Perhaps if we all thought of toilet paper in a more poetic manner — considered each and every square like, say, a goodbye kiss experienced in the last, lingering days of an extraordinarily beautiful autumn — the world would be a better place?

Of course, being frugal with the bath tissue can be taken too far. Take the cautionary tale of Amador Bernabe, who may have been fired from his job at an Australian engineering firm because he chose to abstain from toilet paper altogether. This story, besides being completely disgusting, is an important lesson for us all. There CAN be downsides to conservation.

Finally, back to America, where TP sales are actually down 5.5 percent. According to Kimberly-Clark Chairman-CEO Tom Falk: "[Americans] are conserving cash and don't want to build any household inventory."

This, of all today's toilet paper news, I find the most shocking. And sad. Are any of you actually rationing your squares? Because I know I never feel more American — hell, more alive — than when I'm clutching a really excessive fistful of Charmin.

Japan Group Launches "Toilet Poems" to Save Paper [Reuters]
Townsville Engineering Firm Denies Worker Sacked Over Toilet Habits [News.com.au]
Even Toilet-Paper Sales Suffer in Recession [AdAge]

The ratio of female to male cubicles in public toilets will be debated at the event, and it seems like something businesses rarely get right. As Kathyrn Anthony of the American Restroom Association said back in May, "Until men have menstrual periods, until men get pregnant, or until men breast-feed or have babies, we'll always have a need for potty parity."

But how will the Toilet Leaders decide what potty parity is? Do women need double the number of toilets? Triple?

Of course, most of us have the luxury of indoor plumbing, but World Toilet Organization founder Jack Sim says there are an estimated 2.5 billion people in the world who still do not have access to a hygienic toilet. The conference will include cool new stuff, ike self-cleaning toilets, solar-powered commodes which run without water, and recyclable systems that convert waste into biogas, which can be used to provide hot water for bathing and washing.

Back to potty parity: Have you been someplace recently where you felt like there weren't enough toilets for women? The movie theater comes to mind. Any other locales in need of potty parity?

Potty Parity: Summit to Discuss Lack of Women's Restrooms [Live Science]
Toilet Summit Tackles Issue of 'Potty Parity' for Women [Newser]
Earlier: Pooping: The New Hot Shit
Ladies Need More Ladies' Rooms • Japanese Women Embrace Running

Image via Flickr

Here is the Duravit ad; click to enlarge.

Who is that guy? Why is he peeping inside her bathroom? Is he reaching for his crotch?

Here's the Kohler ad:
Who is that glaring chick on the lower left?