Despite having, according to legend, invented the cocktail, the female bartender has had a hard road. According to a WSJ article on the history of the profession, since the 19th century there have been laws on the books prohibiting women from working behind the bar. Post-war, even more legislation went into effect, including a Michigan prohibition that four female bartenders challenged (unsuccessfully) all the way to the Supreme Court. Female bartenders didn't become legal in California until 1971 - and then only because "a topless bar called Sail'er Inn...wanted to move some dancers behind the bar to mix drinks in dishabille." Indeed, the first wave of 1970s female bartenders were considered a profitable investment but not, as the article says, due to "skills in actually making drinks."

The rationale for excluding women was a combination of cronyism and paternalism. Men wanted the jobs; others didn't want women corrupted by the atmosphere. According to my boyfriend, his grandfather wouldn't let Grandma Minnie anywhere near the saloon he ran for local steelworkers; that the one time she came in she found him fox-trotting with a "floozie" to some hot jukebox jazz may have had a little something to do with it too.

Nowadays, although male bartenders still outnumber their female counterparts, it's largely an open playing field. I queried some of beer-slinging gals I know for their take. One career bartender, Betsy, asserted that "it used to be, like in the 70s, you had two kinds: the sexy girl who got big tips, and the bitch who kept order. Now, I feel like you don't need to play to that." Everyone said there are jerks who regard female bartenders as fair game - "but the flip side of that card is big tips, however philosophically problematic. Way more than male counterparts" - and no one I talked to felt that their sex was problematic in terms of physical stuff like throwing drunks out. "Although once I called for reinforcements on a rowdy night," says on Brooklyn woman. I also wanted to hear their takes on one bartender's assertion in the article that female bartenders employ "a nurturing nature not common to men in the business." "Oh yeah," replied one. "All those tender squeezings of limes." Said Betsy, "in one of the fancy new cocktail bars? Maybe sometimes women have an attention to detail...but whatever, I have ADD, so forget the generalizations, ok? And when it comes to pulling beers, who cares?"

Women Behind Bars [Wall Street Journal]

And yet Connolly (who doesn't know what a gimlet is, poor thing) heads behind the bar to work with Andrew for one night. He learns earth-shattering stuff, like:

When a guy goes out with a bunch of women, it signals other women that he's not some kind of knucklehead. When a guy goes out with a group of guys, it means he's on the prowl.

Other tips! Men should try the "romantic return," in which they eye a woman, leave, and then come back. "Leaving the scene and then returning because you 'just couldn't let this opportunity go by' takes you out of the Lecherous category and puts you in the Romantic Fool category. It has a Hugh Grant quality that the ladies go for," Andrew explains. (Or makes you look wishy-washy! Or makes it look like asking for my number was something you had to talk yourself into!) Tip #4 is "Don't Dance (unless it's with a woman)", Tip #5 is "Have Good Follow-Up Lines." Andrew says: "Guys get too caught up in opening lines, when it's the next few things you say that make or break you." Actually, pretty much everything you say can make or break you. When you're approaching a woman, you're being judged, period. Act normal and you're gonna get a normal reaction! Act like a cheeseball or a sleaze and you're going to be dismissed. Possibly pointed at, definitely laughed at.

Last, but not least, Tip #6: Beware Of Overfriending." Quote Andrew: "If you pretend you're just a friendly guy, she'll think of you that way. Don't be afraid to get a little sexual when you're talking to women. And don't hide your intentions. It's dishonest, and they can see right through it." Hmm. Maybe. Women are not some exotic and elusive prey that you need to deconstruct the thought patterns of. I've been in plenty of bars and talked to plenty of dudes. The best pick-up line? The one that works every time? When a guy smiles and says, "Hey." But, you know, that's just me.

Find the Right Line [Men's Health]

A quick survey of the other Jezebels shows that half of us have indeed met dudes at bars — and not just for sex! Tracie made two good friends when she lived in London at the local pub. Is it regional? Personal taste? Maybe it's just Brooklyn, as, at the end of Nicole's night, she found herself "text-messaging friends for real, live human engagement...finished a second beer and headed to a house party nearby. Surrounded by friends, finally, I was poured a shot of sake by the host and introductions to new guys were suddenly fluid and simple. And then I realized they were all gay." Sigh.

Brooklyn, The Borough: Bowling Alone in Williamsburg [Observer]

In case there's any doubt, the accompanying picture is an actual polling place, in an actual bar in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Philly's kind of a blue-state kind of place, right, even if you don't take into account that they set up voting booths in bars. But, you might ask, what about dry counties?

There are, give or take, 271 dry counties in the United States, which is to say there are at least 271 counties in this great nation where I really would object to ever living. If you match those up with the county-by-county results of the 2004 Presidential race, you find that only 5.5% of dry counties (that's 15 of 'em) went to Kerry.

Well, okay, you say, but dry counties tend to equal conservative places, right? Probably true. But fully 10 percent of self-identified Democrats and 7 percent of self-identified Republicans voted for the other party's candidate in 2004, and one would think that party identification would be a more reliable indicator of which way a person would have voted in 2004 than an accident of geography and old liquor distribution laws.

So, basically, keeping people from drinking seems to actually have encouraged them to vote for Bush, rather than the other way around. We're intrigued! Want to help prove or disprove my analysis? Vote again like it's 2004!

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Don't Drink and Vote, Guatemala Says [Wall Street Journal]
Dry Counties [State University of New York at Potsdam]
2004 Election Results [CNN]
Voters' Views By the Numbers [USA Today]