<![CDATA[Jezebel: barf]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png <![CDATA[Jezebel: barf]]> http://jezebel.com/tag/barf http://jezebel.com/tag/barf <![CDATA["You've Got Some Eclair On Your Chin, Let Me Get That…"]]>

[Cannes, May 20. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

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<![CDATA["Sugar Daddy" Lady Explains She Is A Housewife, Not A Ho]]> The Daily Beast's "Melissa Beech" thought that when she wrote about her Sugar Daddy, the blogosphere would be supportive over her Louboutin lifestyle "that would be the envy of any young woman who enjoys life."

But alas! The internet was "negative" and "judgmental" about the "mutually beneficial" agreement that nets her about $5,000 a month. She is back today with quotes from her sugar daddy in a misguided effort to set the record straight. The main thing she wants you to know is that she's not a hooker. She and her sugar daddy are just regular boyfriend and girlfriend. Their relationship is wholesome, you see. Her "sugar daddy" plays golf with her actual daddy, who of course doesn't know the financial agreement the SD has with his daughter. And there's more:

Q: So the majority of bloggers felt that our relationship was prostitution, with me as the prostitute and you as the john, mainly because of the financial aspect of our relationship. What would you say to them?
A: Well, I would say that I think of our relationship as pretty much a marriage. Just like a husband provides for his wife, I provide for you. I'm lucky enough to be able to financially give you anything you could want, and if people resent that then that's too bad for them. I think the biggest misconception with some of the readers was that we aren't monogamous. Neither of us have any other kind of relationship, whether emotional or sexual, with anyone else.

Well, Ms. "Beech", no one "resents" the fact that you're financially blessed any more than they resent any other rich person. The upswelling of negativity was because of the heinous, braggy attitude you had about the whole sordid thing. In this piece, you say your lifestyle should be the "envy of any young woman who enjoys life." And in your last screed, you bragged at length and in great detail about your lux life. Remember?

I rent a $1,600 apartment in the city, for which he pays the rent in full. I carry an AmEx Black card in both our names, and use it for things like shopping, spa trips, manicures, and tanning; the bill goes to him. And the company car I drive costs him around $700 a month for the lease and the insurance. I’ve even managed to build up a little nest egg over the past year—at his insistence—putting away around $12,000. All in all, he probably spends in the ballpark of $5,000 a month on my lifestyle…We went to London and Paris last spring, where we saw the sights and shopped at stores like Chanel and Dior. How many other college students are wearing Christian Louboutins to class?

I'm not going to get into the moral dubiousness of your proposition, or how narcissistic it is to assume that everyone wants to emulate your existence. Whether or not you're a prostitute is actually irrelevant when you consider your gross public materialism. (You even mentioned that the "job market was sliding into decline" in your first essay, so obviously, you know we're in a recession.) To boast about the egregious sums of money being spent on your grooming, wardrobe and upkeep is gross to the extreme in this kind of economic climate; I don't care who's paying for it.

The Sugar Daddy Replies [Daily Beast]
My Sugar Daddy [Daily Beast]

Earlier: Sugar Daddies: Easier Than Work-Study For College Students

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<![CDATA[Rich Hollywood Moms Bank On Shopaholic Tweens]]> The August issue of Harper's Bazaar has a feature on Elizabeth Wiatt and Jamie Tisch and their "concept store," Fashionology L.A. Elizabeth, 41, is the wife of Jim Wiatt, CEO of the William Morris Agency. She's also on the board of the Natural Resources Defense Council. She is described as a "brainy beauty," maybe because she is brunette. Jamie, 39, the "blonde bombshell," was married to film producer/NY Giants chairman Steve Tisch, and also raises money for the Women’s Cancer Research Fund. There are so many vomit-inducing moments in the story about their store, described as "a real-life version of Cher Horowitz’s computerized closet in Clueless meets a Build-a-Bear Workshop," that it seemed necessary to compile them all. (Not included: When the writer tries the store and designs a hoodie that ends up costing $95.) You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll lose your lunch, after the jump.

The 1,900-square-foot space is painted with mantras that encourage shoppers to "make it happen" and "mix it up — no rules apply." On inspiration boards, Tiger Beat idols past (Elvis, Johnny Depp) and present (Zac Efron, Orlando Bloom, the aforementioned Jonas Brothers) are paired with encouraging quotes from John Cage, Coco Chanel, and Sister Corita, the now-deceased former nun who designed a love postage stamp in 1985. "We’re really about empowerment," says Wiatt.

Just a reminder: This store is for girls ages 8 to 12. Elvis is so empowering for them, you guys!
An animated rainbow-striped heart avatar asks a customer,"What’s your fashion mood?" Her choices are Pop, Malibu, Peace, Rock, and Juku (short for Harajuku). Fleece hoodies, T-shirts, and dresses can be customized with adorably quirky illustrations including a Chihuahua, a ‘70s dream horse, and a “strawbunny,” which is a rabbit in strawberry garb. "I’m 60 percent Peace with 10 percent Juku and 5 percent Rock. The rest is Malibu. I love surfing," says Wiatt.
You forgot 50% ridiculous, 50% annoying!
Wiatt and Tisch met through their husbands 15 years ago and are now so close, they even carry the same canvas Louis Vuitton Rayures tote.
Aren't rich people funny?
They experimented with toy sewing machines but found the concept nearly impossible to execute. “It would be pretty hard to teach that age — even women our age — how to sew,” says Tisch.
Women — and children — all over the world sew. In fact, children may be sewing the clothes in your store: Did you check the labor practices of your vendors?
"We're dealing with the aspirations and the birthday parties of 10-year-old girls," says Wiatt. "We want Fashionology L.A. to be the most fantastic memory that they’re going to have."
What a great memory. Peaking early while shopping. Not learning to ride a bike or getting an A in biology or winning the Nobel Peace Prize or reading to the blind. Shopping as the greatest memory. That's what you want for the next generation? Humanity is doomed. Well-dressed, but doomed!

Elizabeth Wiatt & Jamie Tisch: Ladies Who Launch [Harper's Bazaar]

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<![CDATA[Crowned: The Women Get Ugly, Stupid, And Puke-y]]> Last night on Crowned, we came dangerously close to losing the Sincere Sexy Reds. Could you imagine how suckass next week's big, studio audience finale would have been without them? Anyway, last night they did not disappoint: Laura got bitchy and essentially called the other girls ugly, then cried later on when she realized she might be stupid. But best of all, the ladies of the house threw a cocktail party, and Patty had one too many and ralphed while sitting in a white chair. Clip above.

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