The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog

I have a house and, like most houses, it's an unfinished work. There are cracks in the paint. There are piles of old clothes and shoes exploding out of the laundry room, which doubles as a storage room because we don't have a storage room. The walls in our bedroom are bare because we haven't had time to hang pictures… » 12/11/13 5:08pm 12/11/13 5:08pm

Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: Thomas & Friends

A look at the awful children's programming you're forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke. » 7/13/13 12:29pm 7/13/13 12:29pm

The Hater's Guide To Other Parents

I am not the greatest parent in the world. In fact, I wrote an entire book coming out today that indisputably proves that statement. I have been arrested. I have yelled at my children. I have experimented with odd forms of corporal punishment. And I have conspired with my children to commit petty misdemeanors. All of… » 5/16/13 3:10pm 5/16/13 3:10pm

You're Fucked, But You're Free: A Message To The Class Of 2013

It's May, which means it's time once again for actors and writers and politicians and whatever Thomas Friedman is to hit the graduation circuit and hold senior classes hostage for hours and hours in 85-degree heat. These grad speeches are little more than TED talks in funny hats. Trust me: One day, you will see… » 5/15/13 3:13pm 5/15/13 3:13pm

"WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR": A Sorority Girl Lashes Out At Her Sisters

I always like to picture sororities as places where college girls stage elaborately decorated mixers and then spend the rest of the week gouging out each other's eyes. And thankfully, the remarkable email you're about to read proves all of my theories correct. From reader Erik: "This is from the University of Maryland.… » 4/18/13 12:57pm 4/18/13 12:57pm