Watch Some Dudes Play Holiday Carols With Their Ball Sacks

I bet the pitch meeting on this commercial was hilarious. Like, someone was all, "Why don't we have a row of nut crackers crunch nuts to holiday tunes?" "'No! Why don't we imply that men have balls of steel that make beautiful music when they collide?" And then the boss — who was in his head and not listening to… » 11/19/13 10:40am 11/19/13 10:40am

Bro Loses One Of His Balls During Fraternity Hazing

If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you do it? How about if everyone were letting the cool older fraternity brothers snap you in the balls with towels? For one hopeful member of Wilmington College's Gamma Phi Gamma chapter, the kind of peer pressure his mom probably warned him about resulted in him being down one… » 11/07/13 3:20pm 11/07/13 3:20pm

Book Claims JD Salinger's One Ball Drove Him to a Life of Seclusion

You can tell a lot about a man by his balls. If a man has two healthy balls, he's all robust and manly and world-take-over-y. If he has only one, he is a half-man, like the half man on Two and a Half Men. But rather than star on the world's shittiest television show, one famous one balled half man opted to withdraw… » 9/04/13 7:15pm 9/04/13 7:15pm

Testicle-Munching Fish Are Ruining Summer for Scandinavians

Summer is full of the sorts of hidden dangers that come with being drunk and out in the hot sun for longer than usual. You could fall asleep in a wading pool and be urinated upon by your neighbor’s dog. A shark could attack you while you’re flipping around on your boogie board like a dying seal. You could wear a… » 8/11/13 4:00pm 8/11/13 4:00pm

New Condom Ad Warns Would-Be Dads About Nut-Punching Toddlers

Adweek has (rightly) praised this spec ad written for Durex, a cautionary, slow-mo montage of fathers having their testicles smashed by careless toddlers set to the Moonlight Sonata. All of this nut violence could have been avoided if these dudes just practiced safe sex and avoided procreation. Humanity has had a… » 8/04/13 12:00pm 8/04/13 12:00pm

Testicles Have Taste Receptors. Do With That What You Will.

I don't know how to break this to you gently, so I'm just going to come out and say it: there are taste receptors on every pair of testicles. To be more specific, there are taste receptors for the flavors of sweet and umami ("pleasant savory taste") sitting atop the undercarriage of the male anatomy. So don't even… » 7/02/13 10:40am 7/02/13 10:40am

Check Out All These Old, Greek Balls from the Photo Collection Marbles

If you want to see some old, Greek balls close-up, check out the recent photo series Marbles from London-based photographer Ingrid Berthon-Moine. Marbles is pretty self-evident, but, just in case you’re treating these as monochromatic Magic Eyes, the collection features “closely cropped shots of classic Greek… » 6/23/13 3:30pm 6/23/13 3:30pm

Stop Being Nice All the Time and Start Embracing Your Inner Bitch

Do you think you should let that male coworker take the last donut? No. Absolutely not. Don't let him have it right away, anyhow. Grab that donut and rub it all over your titties — you're establishing your territory. Give it back to your male coworker, then thump your chest like a gorilla and maybe flick him off. » 5/14/13 1:40pm 5/14/13 1:40pm

Wearing Kilt May Up Sperm Count, But Lowers Chance of Getting Some

That's not wind up their kilts, it's free-hanging haggis and groats! And guess what? When a commando Scot bring you back to their hillock abode with a roof of peat moss, they're gonna impregnate you with some of their Rowan jelly. (That's if they're not too busy tossing the caber into the loch.) (Sorry.) » 4/24/13 9:30am 4/24/13 9:30am

Stephen Colbert Invites Donald Trump to Gargle His Balls For Charity

After Donald Trump's much-hyped October Surprise turned out to be an offer of $5 million to the charity of President Obama's choice if only the Commander-in-Chief would release his college transcripts, college applications, and passport applications to Donald Trump's satisfaction, Stephen Colbert had his own… » 10/25/12 12:00pm 10/25/12 12:00pm

Meet the Man With the 160 lb. Scrotum

Wesley's testicles are 160 lbs., six feet in circumference, and growing. While he describes them alternately as giant sacks of potatoes or a "very, very juicy Thanksgiving turkey"—and occasionally will eat dinner (meatballs, naturally) off them—they are not as appetizing as he would make them seem. He's unwilling to… » 7/23/12 2:50pm 7/23/12 2:50pm