Jezebel 
Enter your username and password.
-
posts about #badsanta more → 
The Twelve Days Of Douchebags
New York, 2:05 PM
Sat Dec 19
73 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
Editor-in-Chief:
Anna Holmes
| Twitter
Deputy Editor:
Dodai Stewart
| Twitter
Senior Contributing Editor:
Tracie Egan Morrissey
| Twitter
Contributing Editors:
Anna North
| Twitter
Sadie Stein
| Twitter
Reporter:
Irin Carmon
| Twitter
Editorial Assistant:
Margaret Hartmann
| Twitter
Contributors:
Rich Juzwiak
Email | Twitter
Latoya Peterson
Email
Jenna Sauers
Lizzie Skurnick
Interns:
Katy Kelleher
Twitter
Weekends/Commenter Moderator:
Hortense
| Twitter
| posts about #badsanta more → |
The Twelve Days Of Douchebags |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
12/22/08
12/22/08
12/22/08
12/22/08
12/22/08
12/22/08
12/22/08
Eleven passive aggressive jerks bitching,
Ten losers a-texting,
Nine ladies a-running,
Eight misses a-voiding,
Seven stalkers a-ringing,
Six girls a-hiding
Five small peens,
Four calling tools,
Three bitch slaps,
Two go fuckyourselves,
And a douchebag stalking me from an oak tree!
12/22/08
That's awesome. And next time I hear 12 days etc. on the radio, I'm totally singing your words instead.
12/22/08
12/22/08
Kiss my fat ass.
12/22/08
12/22/08
So brilliantly unclassy, Anna, Merry Christmas right back at you, I love it.
12/22/08
Is this guy single, because he had me at "eaten out". Swoon!
12/22/08
Day 2: i give u medal 4 having a sole, kthxbai
Day 3: You're such a ween, must have a small peen
Day 4: Douchebag
Day 5: Bread brotha? Is that a new soup bread? Crazy Canadians!
Day 6: I fear I have become confused by your florid prose, however I do agree with the use of a guillotine in your flagrant case of narcissism
Day 7: Were you close enough friends so she can throw rocks at your head and it now be assholeish?
Day 8: Asking daily routine = no creepy, gold medal!
Day 9: 1st step to low self-esteem: learning how to spell. You are safe
Day 10: You != Falstaff. Fail
Day 11: Will you smash pies in her face and scream 'No FATTIES!' for motivation? You = saint.
Day 12: End of the world != no strings sexy times? Gay
12/22/08
It is not hard to believe that he is still after all these years!
12/22/08
Single and desparately searching.
12/22/08
12/22/08
12/22/08
It's actually not that cool.
12/22/08
12/22/08
Resolution #1: uggg - will obviously lose 20 lbs. #2: always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things.
12/22/08
Daniel. Cleever.
first appears on the lift.
12/22/08
Yo, St.Francis. Lemme get that woodchipper from you.