Filipino teachers are becoming more popular hires as school officials in Prince George County, MD see a shortage in staff. • Presented without comment: "A herpes virus is killing young oysters in France because they have spent too much energy developing their sexual organs rather than their natural defenses, an oyster crisis team has found." • Bacterial vaginosis, a common vaginal infection, can make women more likely to contract HIV, perhaps due to chemical changes in the vaginal canal. • Incarcerated women in Afghanistan find that keeping their children with them in prison, despite the health risks, is safer for the children than giving them to an orphanage. • Pregnant Australians are having a difficult time finding a job since many prospective employers view pregnancy a hinderance on their business. • Miss USA (you know, the one who fell this year) admits to having plastic surgery done to her but only advocates it to "enhance what you have." • Elissa Steamer won the gold medal for women's skateboarding at the 2008 X Games and is quickly becoming one of the top female street skaters around. • Tinkerbell will be given a starring role in a new DVD film from Disney as they begin to create a Fairies franchise similar to their Princess franchise.

I have been shoving garlic up my vagina for the past 24 hours — a home remedy that I'm hoping will kill whatever is making my crotch froth. This infection could be the result of a number of things. I recently got off antibiotics for a gnarly bug bite on my leg. Everyone knows antibiotics are one of the leading causes for the yeast beast.

I also let a dude with some unsavory-smelling grillz go down on me last week. Probably not the cleanest thing I could let near my cooch. On Friday night, my band played at a house party. I woke up the next day on the couch, still in my nude suits: Layers of full-body pantyhose, all of which were drenched in beer. After all the boozin', antibiotics, and general dirty play, it really came as no surprise that things got stanky in my panties by Sunday.

To counteract that, I wrapped a garlic clove in cheesecloth and wedged in my vagina. I was sure I had arrived in Yeast Infection City. But then Slut Machine told me about this study on Science Daily, about how women are commonly misdiagnosing themselves with yeast infections. She suggested I try out this Vagisil Screening Kit to see if it really was a yeast infection after all.

The test is fast and easy — you just wash your hands, insert the smaller end of the swab (with the pH paper on it), and press it against your vaginal wall for five seconds, then take out the stick and match it to a level on the color chart pH guide the test provides. Mine came out looking like the color of baby poop. It was what I feared: Definitely not a yeast infection. Either I'm battling Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) or Trichomoniasis (Trich). BV is a bacterial infection, where as a yeast infection is a fungal one. Trich is the same thing that Charlotte got on Sex in the City when her vagina had to go on antidepressants. It is caused by a parasite and that is totally nast. If it is the Trich, I blame it all on stink teeth. Either way, I need to get my legs in the stirrups and take care of this mess for good. Good thing I was too broke to buy Monistat, because apparently if you have BV and you treat it with an over-the-counter yeast infection medication, you can aggravate the condition. I can, however, still slather plain yogurt all over the place to ease the burn and plug it up with garlic to keep up the fight until I can get a doctor to look at my flaming lips.

Common Misdiagnosis: Most Women Believe They Have A Yeast Infection When They Don't [Science Daily]