• John Mayer wrote a song called "Heartbreak Warfare" so naturally there is speculation that it's about Ms. Jennifer Aniston. But, uh, check out these lyrics:

The song goes: "If you want more love, Why don't you say so? Drop his name, push it in and twist the knife again; Watch my face as I pretend to feel no pain, pain, pain." Damn, maybe she really did say Brad's name in bed? [People]

• Speaking of Brad Pitt, he'll be in Cannes — again! — for Inglorious Basterds. [People]
• While in Malawi, Madonna has been rocking a fanny pack. Because that's what's really important, you know. What she is wearing. Not the orphaned kids. [NY Daily News]
• Chelsea Clinton's rep says the engagement reports are false and she is not getting married this summer. Boo! We were totally imagining Bill walking her up the aisle and then getting tipsy and giving a long teary speech. [Us Magazine]
• Lindsay Lohan wants you to know that she and Samantha Ronson are still together. "[The] rumors aren't true. We aren't broken up," she said, in all seriousness, at a hotel where she was doing promotional work for her new self-tanner Sevin Nyne. [E!]
• This report claims that Lindsay doesn't use her self-tanner, Sevin Nyne, but one called Fake Bake. Scandal! [Gatecrasher]
• Oh goody, Michael Lohan is in a short film, because what the world needs now is for him to have an acting career. [The Star]
• Everyone loves to point out how Photoshopped Britney Spears is in her new Candie's ad, but "cuts the fat" is mean headline. [NY Daily News]
• Is Britney dating her agent? We've heard that one before. [The Sun]
• You know Britney's old friend Sam Lutfi? His sister Christina told the court that Britney is afraid of her own father and called Sam for help. [Mirror]
• Someone threw a car seat at Nadya Suleman's mini van and smashed the rear window. Not cool, people! [E!]
• In her new Moet & Chandon ads — you know she is the face of the champagne, right? — Scarlett Johansson looks like someone, and that someone is not Scarlett Johansson. [Socialite Life]
• Kate Moss kissed Jennifer Lopez at the Topshop party last night. [Daily Mail]
• Do you find it hard to believe that Mariah Carey is 40? Be honest. [Socialite Life]
• Project Runway is not dead! Long live Project Runway! It will now be shown on Lifetime — this summer!!! — and sponsors are Marie Claire and Tresemme. You cannot hold Tim Gunn down. [AdAge, WSJ]
• Jay-Z had to wait 20 minutes for a table at Mario Batali's restaurant but was "really polite, and waited patiently at the bar." [Page Six]
• Victoria Beckham was seen wearing heels again, so all is right with the world. [Daily Mail]
• The fact that Amber Tamblyn wore a fake mustache at a party to throw off the paparazzi may make you love her more. [Page Six]
• Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler have split. Again. He confronted her about having an affair with Gerard Butler while he was in the hospital and it all went downhill from there. Says a source. [Us Magazine]
• Did you know that Nicolas Cage owned a castle in Germany? Well he just sold it, so you'll never get to see him let his hair hang down from the turret window. [People]
• Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen is in a band, Pretty Reckless, which means she needs costumes, which means she is collaborating with New York designer Jen Kao. That's what you did when you were 15, right? [People]
• Lil Wayne is on the cover of the new Rolling Stone and explains why he now does music with guitar solos: "The rock shit just comes from what my life is now. I've grown into this person." Okay! [Rolling Stone]
• The year is not 1999, and yet the Backstreet Boys are in the studio. [Pop Dirt]
• Whitney Port is on the cover of Cosmo because we have officially run out of celebrities. [Just Jared]
• Tila Tequila wants to date David Lynch. [Jossip]
• "Geldof girls glam up to paint the town red in matching dresses... but it's back to grunge to REALLY party just hours later" [Daily Mail]
• A ski lodge owned by Bruce Willis in Idaho was destroyed in a fire. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Spacey will star and produce a film he helped write the script for, which seems to be about a billionaire inventor whose creation goes horribly wrong. [The Star]
• RIP The Guiding Light, the longest running daytime drama in the history of television. It's going to that big soap opera mansion in the sky. [MediaWeek]
• TV Guide channel is having an identity crisis: It's ditching the scrolling thing it does, and maybe even the name TV Guide channel. [AdAge]
• Uh-oh, the FBI has been called in over the leak of Wolverine. Somebody's in trouble! [BBC News]
• Blind item: "Which starlet turns a blind eye to her athlete boyfriend's philandering ways? Her dream is to get a diamond ring so she can finally leave the business." [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm sick of all the Hilton stuff, where all anyone cared about was whether I was doing coke in the bathroom or how many [bleeps] I was sleeping with. I'm done with partying and traveling. It's time to get this [bleep] started." — Barron Nicholas Hilton, brother of Paris, who wants to be "an international singer-songwriter." [Page Six]
• "The best cure for a hangover is something one straight man can't do for another straight man." — Ben Affleck, in Esquire. [Page Six]
• "One thing that bugs me is people who say, 'Miley really needs to lose some weight' or 'She got her boobs done.' I did start out really skinny, but you're not going to have boobs when you're 12 years old. I'm like, 'What are you talking about — let me grow.'" — Miley Cyrus. [Daily Mail]

This, of course, is the same illness that the John Travolta and Kelly Preston say their late son Jett was suffering from. While the symptoms of Kawasaki are terrifying (high fevers, rashes, and impacts on the arteries of a child's heart), it is a very short-lived disease that is, most often, cleared up in under a month. Baylee is out of the woods now with this disease, and the doctors on the show reiterated that seizures are not a part of this disease.

• At a Lollapalooza gift suite, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz wouldn't pose with a KY Intimacy kit because Ashlee's dad "would murder them." In their defense? No one should be forced to posed with an "intimacy kit." It's just weird. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Designer Marc Jacobs is still talking about his "totally organic diet" and "two-hour exercise regime." Marc, you're thin now. We get it! [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]
  
• Blind item! "Which mogul hates it when his boyfriends get along with his glamorous wife better than they do with him?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
  
• Gwen Stefani loves breastfeeding! You didn't need to know that, did you? [Page Six]
  
• Tracy Morgan calls his SCRAM anklet a "Lindsay Blowhan bracelet." Hahaha! [Page Six]
  
• Michael Lohan is accusing Dina Lohan of shacking up with a boozing boyfriend. None of this can be good for Lindsay's little brothers and sisters. [Page Six]
  
• Chris Rock is not the father of some woman's 13-year-old son. Yawn. [Page Six]

• Has Paris Hilton ditched her Bible and returned to her old (skanky) ways? She was seen wearing her undies to a Playboy Mansion party. Wait, was that whole demure, buttoned up image on Larry King an act??? [The Sun]
• When Britney arrived for her Allure photo shoot, she "took off her wig and then stripped down to the waist, for no apparent reason." Why are we not surprised? [The Sun]
• The Hills' Heidi Montag, about Lauren Conrad: "I never could be friends with a low-life like that." You know the deal: Pot, kettle. [TMZ, 3rd item]
• The Backstreet Boys have a new single. Have we fallen through a hole in the space-time continuum? [TMZ]
• Stars get political! Celebs on team Obama: Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, George Clooney, Tyra Banks and Jamie Foxx. Kelsey Grammer is on team Giuliani. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan's rehab facility has Jacuzzis, horseback riding and a helicopter. [Entertainment Tonight]
• I Dream Of Jeannie star Barbara Eden warns, "Drugs are sneaky." Uh, thanks, but who asked you? [Entertainment Tonight]
• Lily Allen's US work visa was taken at a Los Angeles airport. Oh no! Will she be able to make the MTV awards in September? [BBC News]
• Roseanne sex tape? No thanks! [Perez Hilton]
• Jane Seymour owns a manor in Bath, where the parties get so out of control that the local people are taking legal action. Hey, if we owned a manor in Bath, we'd party 24/7. [Daily Mail]