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• First Class lounges aren't really exclusive enough for Jennifer Lopez anymore, but she's got a resourceful fix: she slips through a mysterious unmarked door in the lounge, giving the illusion she is entering some platinum VIP area, when really she's just hiding in a storage closet. Yeah, I couldn't have made that shit up either. [MSNBC]
• Oh shit, and this JUST HAPPENED: so maybe JLo was just avoiding getting served with the $5 million lawsuit filed by the flight attendant her guard dog attacked. [TMZ]
• But a subpoena in that 1999 nightclub shooting — shit, it sucks when you realize something that feels forever ago actually was forever ago — found her! [NY Post]
• Verne Troyer is suing TMZ for $20 million over that sex tape thing. Not because it's a sex tape, but for copyright reasons. Show of hands: did anyone actually watch the clip of this? I really don't think he lost too many otherwise paying customers. If amateur midget porn is what you're into is a little clip really going to sate you? [TMZ]
• Bill Clinton and Oprah Winfrey ran into each other at Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday party but sources say it didn't seem like they had much to say to one another. [Page Six]
• Will Anne Hathaway put aside the hurt she feels and save the poor puppy Raffaello Follieri can no longer afford to have walked? Well, Anne?? [Page Six]

• And speaking of our dashing Italian Vati-con, some socialite is pissed she invited him and Anne to some event and they paid for tickets and never showed up. Cry me a fucking river, Lauren Vernon. [NY Post]
• Babyshambles is pulling out of the Glastonbury Festival. [Guardian]
• Amy Winehouse is…still planning on performing! [Telegraph]
• "I do not speak to those two. First of all, he drinks too much. And is very insulting. And they are not invited to my July Fourth party in the Hamptons, which is very big and which is my fifth annual and which everybody wants to come to. She and I will keep doing the show, of course, but I will have nothing to do with her otherwise." Now, I know it's summer, when Cindy Adams devotes an entire column about a group of reality stars who actually fess up to making less than $1,000 a show, but this column is seriously kind of awesome. [NY Post]
• You can take Donda West's surgeon off your list of "Notorious Hollywood Plastic surgeons most likely to be nabbed on DUI charges" now. [AP]
• If you haven't already heard about this from that one guy you know who could die happy if only for another Phish Reunion tour, well…Phish might be reuniting. [Reuters]
• Will Smith's Fourth of July movie sounds reaaally promising. [Fox News]
• Jessica Biel is looking kind of gaunt and French these days, like she's taken up an unhealthy lifestyle or something, and I mean that in the best way possible. [People]
• Engaged: Uma Thurman, to some "financier." [He's Elle Macpherson's ex! -Ed.] [NY Daily News]
• Engaged and actually planning to wed: Portia to Ellen. [NY Daily News]
  Engaged and not actually planning to wed: Joel Madden to Nicole Richie. [People]

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• Marc Ronson says Amy Winehouse is "happy and psyched" about her Grammy nominations, though she really "doesn't get excited about anything." [People]
  
• Pete Doherty was punched in the face in his local pub by a drug dealer who threatened, "You should get your gear [drugs] from me." That just seems uncalled for! [Mirror]
  
• Meanwhile, at a show by Pete's band, Babyshambles, most of the band didn't show up — including Pete and the guitarist, so a fan was pulled out of the front row to play with the band. "I thought it was a dream when I woke up this morning," Jamie Dell says. [BBC News]
  
• "There is nothing stranger than a 45-year-old woman in a baby-doll dress" — Whoopi Goldberg discussing Marie Osmond's final Dancing with the Stars performance on The View. [Page Six]

• Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock's new documentary is entitled Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden? and a person close to the film says he "definitely got the holy grail." Publicity stunt or investigative journalism? [Rush & Molloy]
• Lindsay Lohan's been using Ariva lozenges — dissolvable tobacco for smokers who can't light up. [TMZ]
• Teri Hatcher, who is being sued by skincare company Hydroderm for posing with a competitor's lip gloss, is arguing that she never "entered into an agreement with any other cosmetic or skincare companies" and so has not violated her endorsement deal. Would you use a cosmetic because Teri Hatcher does? Just asking. [People]
• Mischa Barton bought Nicole Richie a "bunch of rocker tees for the baby, with different types of logos of rock bands on them." So edgy! [People]
• Tom Cruise, "Kate" Holmes and Suri Cruise joined David Beckham and sons in a private box at L.A.'s Staples Center for the Spice Girls concert. Cruz, Romeo and Brooklyn sported t-shirts that read "Spice Boy." Think they'll be mortified by that when they're in their twenties? [People]
• A leftist farmers' group has asked the United Nations to send Angelina Jolie to the Phillippines to witness the millions of displaced people in the country as a result of the twin insurgencies of communists and Muslim separatists. Saint Angelina to the rescue! [Reuters]
• Kiefer Sutherland spent his first day in jail folding laundry. The actor is an "inmate worker," has a cell to himself and is also assigned to serve meals to the other inmates, including one who was arrested for attempted murder on four people. What is it about Kiefer that makes him seem like a model prisoner? [People]
• Britney Spears hired a photographer to shoot her with her children — a family photo, possibly for Christmas cards — and afterward, the photographer issued a press release bragging that she had snapped exclusive pix. Tsk tsk! [MSNBC]
• Now that Tom Cruise owns United Artists film studio, business is rocky: first flick Lions For Lambs cost $35 million and made $14 million. The second film, Valkyrie, is due in June, and cost about $65 million: Tom Cruise plays a Nazi who plots to assassinate Hitler — but uses his own American accent for the part, uh-oh. [Wall Street Journal]
• Madonna is suing her NYC co-op board for blocking her from buying a neighbor's apartment. No one blocks her Madgesty! [New York Post]

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