• A dude was arrested for trying to break into the Dancing With The Stars studio.

He's now got a restraining order against him because he was trying to meet Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson — but with two guns and duct tape in his car. Frightening. [Breitbart]

• The man stalking Shawn Johnson, Robert O'Ryan, says the gymnast was "speaking to him personally through the television and via ESP, and he will be with her not matter what." [NY Daily News]
• "Desperate" Britney Spears has been sending texts to ex Adnan Ghalib, according to a source. "She keeps sneaking messages to Adnan begging him to help her win back her freedom. She says she is lonely and misses being able to date the men she chooses. She feels trapped." [The Sun]
• One of the nurses fired by mother of octuplets Nadya Suleman says: This woman does not care for these kids, she's in this for the media, for the paparazzi." [Breitbart]
• "This woman does not care for these kids, that's my honest opinion," says nurse Linda West Conforti, founder of Angels In Waiting. [ABC News]
• Yes, Nadya Suleman was once a stripper. Or topless dancer. Move along. [MSNBC]
• Scarlett Johansson is the "muse" of Champagne brand Moet & Chandon, and you are not. [WWD]
• Also, people are talking about how thin ScarJo is now. [Defamer]
• Are Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz on the rocks? A source says: "He is going out all the time and she's stuck at home. It's just not working." Her rep says this is not true. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey wants a baby, so she has dropped $200K on a pink crib, a high chair and some other stuff. Her rep says it's not true. [Gatecrasher]
• "Jessica Simpson was spotted ordering a cooked gourmet meal in a restaurant for her dog." [The Star]
• Neil Patrick Harris will host the TVLand Awards, which sounds like fun: There will be tributes to Magnum PI, Knots Landing, M*A*S*H and, uh, Two And A Half Men. [Socialite Life]
• CSI star Marg Helgenberger has filed for divorce from her hussband, actor (and SAG prez) Alan Rosenberg. They married in 1989 and have a son. [Breitbart, AP]
• Bish Plz Face Of The Day goes to Harlow Madden, resplendent in purple. [People]
• The Oscars, which have taken place in February the last couple of years, are moving back to March. [NY Mag]
• What is wrong with this sentence: The Pussycat Dolls will perform on the Kids Choice Awards, singing "Jai Ho." [Three Stooges movie. Directed by the Farrelly brothers. Starring Jim Carrey, Benicio Del Toro, and Sean Motherfucking Penn. [World Of Wonder, E!]
• Nicole Kidman's been cast in that Woody Allen film which Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Broling and Anthony Hopkins are already attached to. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Canadian model Noot Seear has been cast in sparkly vampire flick New Moon. This story suggests, "Let the Robert Pattinson and Noot romance rumors begin!" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Lost's Ian Somerhalder has joined the cast of a new CW show, Vampire Diaries. [Variety]
• By the by, the Twilight soundtrack is burning up the charts; Robert Pattinson sings on it, you know. [Yahoo News via E!]
• A review of ABC's new show, In The Motherhood, which is based on webisodes, reads: "What may be funny for five minutes isn't necessarily funny for 30." [USA Today]
• Ugly Betty fans: Do you think Betty should end up with her boss? Eric Mabius, who plays bossman Daniel Meade, says no: "That would be the equivalent of us jumping the shark." [USA Today, EW]
• Courteney Cox has been shooting her new show, Cougar Town, and it seems her wardrobe consists of bathrobes. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a preview of what to expect of the new 9 To 5 musical — starring Alison Janney! Dolly Parton oversaw the casting and wrote the music. [NY Post]
• Whee! Bob Barker is coming out of retirement — for one day — to be on The Price Is Right. He'll be promoting his autobiography, Priceless Memories. I want to spin the wheel. [ET]
• Jeremy Piven's sushi case will go into arbitration on June 8. [EW]
• Click the link to see Padma Lakshmi eat a burger like she's having sex with it in an ad for Carl's Jr. [E!]
• Watchmen actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan just found out he's the father of a four-year-old son by an old girlfriend. Surprise! [Daily Express]
• Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford is on the cover of Baby Couture, you know, the magazine that puts the coo in couture? [Just Jared]
• Who the hell cares if Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller were rooting against Denise Richards on Dancing With The Stars? [MSNBC]
• Here is a video of Pharrell Williams singing and dancing in a McDonald's in Paris because they wouldn't serve him; they weren't exactly open or something. [NY Daily News]
• Jenny McCarthy is on the cover of Shape magazine, and says "[Weight Watchers] taught me portion control and to be conscious of what I put into my mouth." That's what she said? Anyway, she's not gluten and dairy free, not that you wanted to know. [People]
• Merengue star Elvis Crespo is accused of masturbating on a flight from Houston to Miami. A woman says she saw him cover himself with a blanket, jerk off and then expose himself. Questioned at the airport, Crespo said: "I don't recall doing that." [AP]
• Brit headline of the day: "Simon Cowell Gets His Comeuppance As Prince Philip Calls Him A Sponger." [Daily Mail]
• Put this on your wish list: A box set of Hollywood movies shot before the 1934 Production Code. "Graphic stories of scandal, adultery, prostitution, drug use, murder and homosexuality." Woohoo! [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which mouthy actor had a waitress dump a scalding cup of coffee in his lap - right after he smacked her bottom?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Interesting characters are pretty rare if you really want to be the lead. That's the usual complaint of actresses my age, and they're not wrong. They depend on you being beautiful. Since I'm not cast for my physicality, I'm not that interested in those parts. I find that playing so many characters in so many films is a way to stay in the moment." — from a profile on fantastic, awesome actress Catherine Keener, who turns 50 this week. [Guardian]
• "Complex later replaced the pic with the Photoshopped version, causing all of this drama. But you know what, who cares! I'm proud of my body and my curves and this picture coming out is probably helpful for everyone to see that just because I am on the cover of a magazine doesn't mean I'm perfect." — Kim Kardashian on her Photoshop of Horrors. [Socialite Life]
• "I always say the younger girls have the abundance of work, but I get to play real women, not girls, who have a whole life behind them." — Virginia Madsen, who's in The Haunting In Connecticut. [LA Times]
• "Right now, I like the idea that things can just kind of pop up and if they feel right I can do them. Committing to my own sort of project, that's like, 'Okay, let me block out two years of my life and do it.' I was heavily fulfilled with the last one and I always have this thing with myself that if I can't sleep because I need to do it, then I'm gonna do it. But if I'm not losing sleep over it then…" — Justin Timberlake, who is not working on a new album. [The Star]
• "It's not black-and-white justice. It's heart-and-soul justice. That's the difference between her and a lot of the crime shows out there. These crimes are not huge. But they are offensive. And they're disrespectful. Some of them, she has to go to the law. But some of them are small, like 'Somebody took my dog!' Or 'I think my husband is with another woman.' And she pours out justice the way she sees fit." — Jill Scott on her role in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, which debuts Sunday on HBO. [USA Today]

Last year, a group of parents in Minnesota started BirthdaysWithoutPressure.org to promote simpler celebrations for kids. But why keep it simple when you can spend, spend, spend? As a commenter posted on this site recently: "Why are people such haters? Maybe because they are jealous they can't afford such things?"

I have a Mutsy stroller, yes it cost $759, but I also donate money to children who don't have books to read, to animal shelters and various other charities. I'm not a monster, as you seem to think that people who spend a lot of money on their children are.

I spend time and money on my baby and I love the clothing and furniture presented in this magazine(yes, I like nice clothing and NO, i don't shop at Babies-R-Us), but who are you to judge me based on that? Do I ridicule you for your children dressed in low-end clothes? Maybe I should and then I'd be on your level.

$10,000 For Child's Birthday Party? [CNN]

Related:Parenting Author, Childless Woman Weigh In On Baby Couture
Earlier: Baby Needs A New Pair Of Shoes

Dodai: I just wanted to point out that their slogan is not a joke. It's very very real.

Dodai: The Editor's letter begins, "I am what I've coined a 'serial miserablist.'" I stopped reading after that.
Pamela: "Miserabilist," "nitpicking about my body," people with "an ugly core," "an attack of gastritis." Um, isn't this supposed to be a fun magazine about kiddie clothes?

Dodai: This swingset looks great, huh? It's all natural, made from white cedar. And it rings up at an affordable $21,850.
Pamela: Just what you need when the local playground is crawling with untold numbers of germs and the unwashed masses of neighborhood toddlers.

Dodai: $648 worth of furniture for kids never looked so depressing. To hell with the planet: Bring on the bright plastic chairs! Kidding. Sort of.
Pamela: The designer baby furniture world is still mired in mid-century modern, which seems so 2005 now. My favorite is the abstract, minimalist rocking horse, oddly not featured here. It looks more like an abdominizer than a toy.

Dodai: The stroller on the left is $400; the stroller on the right is $759. As far as I can tell, neither are guaranteed to keep a kid from screaming his head off in the grocery store.
Pamela: The one on the right has its own catalog, filled with photos of hipster parents and nary a child in sight. It's all about us.

Dodai: Really? Parents want their infants dressed like Rod Stewart's baby? Really?
Pamela: Is this child from Rod's third or fourth batch? Fifth?!

Dodai: Ah, child models. One can almost smell the ennui from here.
Pamela: I am fairly certain I spot eye shadow. To think I waited until 8th grade before breaking into Ultima II.

Dodai: The feature story, "A Perfect World," is an interview and photo shoot with covermommy Christine Costner and son Cayden. It is TEN PAGES LONG. If I'd had the patience to read it I'm sure I would have found it fascinating.
Pamela: Cayden, Aiden, Braydon, Jayden. Will and Jada, look what you started! Please make this whole trend go away.

Dodai: Then again, maybe not.
Pamela: In this hard-hitting feature, Costner is described as "not just any actor," but "one of the world's most respected thespians." (Insert Native American whooping sounds here)

Dodai: Wow, Asian kids!
Pamela: Oh, parenting magazines love Asian babies. It's only when they get older that editors seem to decide they're "not cute" any more.

Dodai: Black kid! Redhead kid! Baby Couture is officially more diverse than Vogue.
Pamela: Working our collective nostalgia for 1986 Benetton.

Dodai: Saucy minx. She's totally going to tell all the kids in the sandbox she's a model.
Pamela: They'll rip off that bunny necklace in a flash. It's probably laced with lead anyway.

Dodai: Okay, enough already. I've officially reached baby overload. No. More. Thanks.
Pamela: Please tell me why this baby is wearing a shower cap. Oh, it's a bonnet. Doesn't make it any better.

Baby Couture Magazine [Baby Couture]

Related: Parenting, Inc.: How We Are Sold on $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers — and What It Means for Our Children [Amazon]
Pamela Paul's Website [PamelaPaul.com]

Ed Note: We hear about and see so many stories that we can't find the time to comment on that we're gonna try something new: "Leftovers", a daily "accounting" of the stuff we had to leave behind. Let us know if you like it, and, obviously, feel free to click through on the stories and flesh them out for everybody.