My mother's style is incredibly architectural and somewhat cutting edge (there were not, nor will there ever be, mom jeans in her closet). She favors Calvin Klein suits in dark colors, and that was certainly not something I wanted to borrow when I was sixteen. However, she also had a dazzling array of expensive cotton t-shirts from Petite Bateau and Three Dot, and she wouldn't let me get anywhere near them. So occasionally I would resort to subterfuge: sneaking into my parents bedroom while they were eating breakfast and stealing the soft, cottony spoils.

Obviously I liked the clothes, but I think there was a little more to it psychologically. I look up to my mother. She's confident and successful in her career and introspective, and her understated yet elegantly structured clothes reflect that quiet confidence. Perhaps deep down I felt that by wearing my mother's clothes, I too could project that same image, that same concrete sense of self. Slatalla's argument that teens wear their mothers' clothing to look more mature wasn't true for me. I didn't want to look like baby boomers in general, I wanted to look like one baby boomer in particular.

Or maybe those t-shirts were just really awesome.

[Image via Jacques Lowe/Vanity Fair]

Those Clothes Are Indelibly Mine [NY Times]

First, the stats: whereas suicides amongst white men 40-64 rose 2.7%, the corresponding female demographic experienced a 3.9% jump, with a particularly dramatic rise (57%) in the number of deaths by poisoning. Says one researcher, "Definitely these are not just little blips...We are looking at a big population change." No one quoted, however, advances a theory about the causes of the trend. "Are these people living alone, with no major responsibility or others to take care of, or are they people overwhelmed with all of the jobs and responsibilities they have? We need to find out more about the conditions under which these people are living." Well, yes, we do.

It's no secret that women suffer from far higher levels of depression than do men; the factors are both physiological and psychological and, as has been suggested on this site, women are probably just more aware of depression generally. But a precipitate rise like this suggests factors beyond the biological. Consider Dodai's recent post in which she commented on the finding that a depressing number of women feel their "life is over" at 44. Another British study, this one sponsored by Dove, reports that "negative attitudes by employers and society in general make women over the age of 45 feel unrecognized and unsupported," pervasive ageism prevents them from achieving goals and that those older women who do accomplish things are not recognized. In a society that worships youth, aging is not easy. Nor, one imagines, is empty-nesting, later-life career woes and relationship problems, health worries or financial struggle. And certainly these pressures have only increased.

While considering these issues, I decided to consult someone in this demographic: my 58-year-old mother, no stranger to this phenomenon. As I suspected, she had a lot to say. Her feeling is that it is not a coincidence that these women belong to the Boomer generation. "Because we were such a huge generation, and because, I think, our parents' generation had been through so much, we were pandered to in an unprecedented way," she says, "in advertising, society, everything. And we were all so defined by being young that we took an adversarial attitude towards age that has made things very hard as we grow older."

(She then went off on a tangent about women who are willing to "shoot poison into their faces" lest they fall into "one of the two acceptable modes of aging: cute or creepy.")

And women specifically? "Never before," said my mom, "were there such high expectations for women. My mother may have been disappointed with aspects of her life, but she did not feel like a failure. Whereas, we were the first who were encouraged to dream really big. We did, and a lot of us failed to realize those dreams. We felt we had far more riding on it than men, so the crisis in some ways is probably more painful."

I am sure that further studies will do far more to illuminate the root causes of these trends — socio-economic and otherwise. Whatever the findings, the solution is quite obviously better mental health care and perhaps a widening of demographic scope; ultimately, stopping something so tragically destructive is far more important, short-term, than the theory. But it is worth considering the pressures and advantages of this generation of women, unique in history and society; change, for good and bad, is very rough work.

Middle-Aged Women Drive Rise In U.S. Suicides [MSNBC]

Related: How Prejudice Holds Back Women Over 45 [Daily Express]

Earlier: Why Do Some Women Think That Life Is Over By Age 44?

Women of all ages are constantly being bombarded with pressure to stay young, be it through Botox, nip/tucks, wacky creams, or otherwise. The obsession with youth in the United States, at least, is not a phenomenon relegated to women in their 20's and 30's. Our boomer parents are just as obsessive as we are, making up a huge chunk of the marketing base for anti-aging products and procedures. "Cougar," "MILF," and even "GILF" have entered the national vernacular over the past decade or so, and it's hard to argue that it's due to the majority of our population deciding to slide into their golden years without wanting to hang on to a bit of youth along the way. But as Watson notes, members of the "hippie" generation are heading into retirement with one foot in their youth and the other deeply entrenched in the age-old traditions of the Silver Fox set.

Watson's main argument comes from a study published by Economic and Social Research Council, which claims that recent retirees are following "every single convention of adult life, are making like their parents in retirement. Okay, they may have more wind chimes in their gardens. Possibly they’re wearing Birkenstocks rather than Hush Puppies, and cooking more lentils, but the disciples of the new age are using their golden years like every pensioner before them — for home improvements and long walks." The style may be different, but the substance, in essence, is the same.

My parents aren't retired yet, but they plan to travel (and yes, to garden and improve the home) as much as they can. My mother and father were mods who snuck out of bathroom windows to dance all night at clubs across the state line, and now they spend their weekends at the Home Depot, picking out mulch. Is it glamorous? Not really. But my parents have been married for 35 years, and they enjoy their time together. They may not be riding around on Vespas or rocking white eyeliner anymore, but they're still happy, and they're still in love, and if that's what my golden years are to look like, then I'm not afraid of becoming my parents at all. What about you? How do you picture your golden years?

We Will Turn Into Our Parents [Times Online]

I read the Karen Allen interview over the weekend and was thinking about the lack of roles for mature ladies when I read this NY Times 'Sunday Styles' piece about why people hate the Brooklyn neighborhood of Park Slope. It was far from revelatory, but this quote from a Slop residente stuck out: “Hipsters and people who don’t have kids are terrified of becoming grown-ups and parents, which is what Park Slope has come to represent." But it's not just hipsters who are scared to grow up — it's everyone born after 1945.

Think about it: Dennis Hopper is using his bad-ass, drug-using, motorcycle riding cred from the 60s to shill for retirement planning, despite the fact that he's over seventy. Baby boomers are the ones currently running the studios, and they're terrified of aging, of being seen as adult. Because men's roles in film aren't based so much on aesthetics, they're allowed to act like teenagers in grown up, paunchy bodies. But since women, particularly in Hollywood, are not really allowed to age, they're forced to act like girls until they're forced off the screen entirely.

But it's just a theory. Maybe it's much more simplistic; maybe, as Rush Limbaugh said about Hillary Clinton, America is simply afraid to stare at an aging woman.

Remember Karen Allen? Steven Spielberg Did For 'Indiana Jones' [Los Angeles Times]
Park Slope: Where Is the Love? [NYT]

Earlier: Woman-Girl Syndrome: Hollywood's Latest Malady

• Jennie Garth and Neve Campbell's hairdresser to shill line of hair care products in infomercials, natch. We think this sounds like an awesome idea... if it were 1992. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Nicole Miller has created a new lingerie line which she's naming "3rd Date" since, we guess, that on the 3rd date people who actually bother to buy designer lingerie sometimes let dudes see it? [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Big for winter: anything and everything with sparkles on it? [WWD, sub req'd]

• Ann Taylor's chief financial officer resigns the day after it is announced how unanticipated drops in sales figures had occurred in the company's first quarter. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Though meanwhile, Ann Taylor decides it should launch a line aimed specifically at baby boomers. Uh, wait: so the two other existing Ann Taylor lines are aimed at who exactly? Above item now makes much more sense. [NYTimes]
• TopShop is being accused of exploiting cheap labor in Mauritius. [Vogue UK]
• Ferragamo's brooding womenswear design consultant Graeme Black has finally made it official and said buh-bye to the Italian design house to design his own collection full-time. Paging Valentino? [Vogue UK]
• Trunk shows, once an experience offered exclusively to the rich and the aspiring, are now moving online, making them available to even poor suckers like us! Ah, the democracy of the market. [WSJ]