After all, if we can deputize flowers, chafing dishes and seating charts to someone else, I don't see the contradiction in bringing in expert advice where an actual human being is concerned. And apparently, with all the swag and debate clogging Babies R Us and the blogosphere, sometimes you just need a pro to help cut through the spiels.

Okay, "need" is a relative term. But services like Nest Help, the Chicago baby-planning service profiled today on Breitbart, (and that's one of the less cutesy names out there, trust) seem to serve a function, for those who can afford it. As Melissa Moog, president of - wait for it - the National Baby Planner Association (which, unlike the Catholic League, has members),

We're like wedding planners, but we're helping you prepare for your baby's arrival and all the information and research you have to deal with...to basically reduce the overwhelming feelings of stress and save time so you can spend quality time on what matters to you. If what's important to you is going to birthing classes instead of doing research on car seats, I can do that for you.

Or, as another "baby concierge service" puts it, "Whether you are having your baby the old-fashioned way, adopting, or using a surrogate, we take the labor out of your delivery."

Accordingly, they tell you what you need, find the best products, shop if needed, set up registries and can even interview midwives and nannies. (Things we'd probably want to do ourselves, but to each her own.) The price? $50 to $150 an hour, or "by packages, which can cost several hundred to several thousand dollars." From the planner's perspective, why not? It's a great idea, and clearly a service which, in this world of competitive parenting, people are willing to pay for. As Heather Cabot wrote on the HuffPo,

Big business it is. The book, Parenting, Inc. by Pamela Paul estimates the booming "mom market" nets $1.7 trillion dollars every year. Think of all of those fancy "must-have" strollers, diaper wipe warmers and designer layettes and it isn't difficult to comprehend that figure. After researching their idea for more than a year, the partners discovered that busy moms, especially full-time working mothers seemed willing to pay big bucks to outsource some of the preparation and planning.

The issue, of course, is that the services reinforce the notion that all this stuff is still necessary. They're not opting out of competitive parenting; indeed, they're reinforcing its existence and importance. Says one busy mom-to-be in the article,

A mother today looks a lot different than a mother 15 years ago...She is powerful. She is strong. She is knowledgeable. Women today know it's OK to ask for help. That's a victory for all of us.

Well, but what about the strength to throw off society's absurd expectations that a woman be a supermom? Wouldn't that save just as much time - and money? That said, this whole industry is going to inspire a killer rom-com.

New Moms Hiring Baby Planners To Help Pre-Baby [Breitbart]
The Baby Planners [Official Site]
The Baby Planners [Huffington Post]

MSNBC's "Body Odd" takes on the issue today, consulting a number of OBGYNs.

"The uterus is a remarkably flexible organ," says Dr. Florence P. Haseltine, ob/gyn and founder of the Society for Women's Health Research in Alexandria, Va. "It can grow rather rapidly and it can recede rather rapidly. It's able to reconstruct itself and reconfigure itself quickly...I don't believe a uterus gets tired. If it had damage as a result of a specific pregnancy, it might cause trouble. But it doesn't make any physiological sense why one should worry about the uterus."

And of course, health, fitness and the state of the uterus vary from one woman's genetics to another's. While it's physically possible, there are naturally risks. The piece states that post-partum depression is more likely "after delivering five or six children" - let alone 19. Says another doctor,

There's a continuous leeching of calcium and iron, the supplemental building blocks that babies need...After having many children, chronic anemia or osteopenia – weak bones – could be a chronic risk. Also carrying children does increase the risk of incontinence, but even women who haven't had children have incontinence.

Sexy! You can be incontinent either way - luck of the genetic draw - but multiple pregnancies may help! And anyone who's looked at a photo of a grim-faced great-great grandma surrounded by her brood knows that having dozens of kids wasn't exactly rejuvenating. Yes, there are health benefits to multiple pregnancies - research suggests that it prevents both ovarian and breast cancers. But, not to put too fine a point on it, in the old days would most of these mothers have survived to the age of cancer? Maybe a few generations ago, women did have kids in Quiverfull numbers. But they started young, and, frankly, the babies didn't all survive. What's more, without modern technology, just going by the odds almost no woman's body could survive that many pregnancies: after all, Michelle Duggar has delivered three of her babies via C-section.

And it's not just the physical delivery and pregnancy: caring for that many children would tax the emotions and energy of almost any woman. Are we made for that kind of anxiety - mentally? And attitudes towards child-rearing have changed a lot: modern parenting generally proscribes a lot more attention per child - and a lot less child labor. So, can we do it? Yup. But the body can do a lot of things - if it has to. Not everyone wants to test its limits.

Are Some Women Superbreeders? [MSNBC]

• Could it have been President Bush's signing of the Partners for Fish and Wildlife Act? (Let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!)
• We know we wanted to tweak out and fuck after that hot escort told us all about what it was like for him and Pastor Ted!
• Could it have been the celebration of United Nations Day? (A little Brangelina role-play?)
• We were about to say it was probably reckless Election night screwing...
• ...but it could have just as easily been the Dow!