• According to advocacy group Immigration Equality, an estimated 36,000 same-sex couples are bi-national by necessity, as current immigration laws do not allow Americans to sponsor their foreign born same-sex partners for citizenship. • Scientists have found that babies exposed to more television may not learn as quickly as those who spend their time interacting with an adult. • A man suspecting of raping an 11-year-old girl was attacked and critically injured by a dozen residents of a Philadelphia neighborhood. The victim's mother said that she was happy they beat the suspect: "I mean, he deserves worse than what he did to my daughter." •  Several Vietnamese coffee shops in Southern California have created a kind of "Starbucks meets Hooters" vibe with their scantily clad baristas. •  A similar business (same idea, only waitresses are topless) in Maine has been destroyed by a fast-moving fire, which officials believe was deliberately set. • Good news for Fido: The Food and Drug Administration has approved the first ever cancer drug designed specifically for dogs. • One week ago, Memphis resident and reported trans-person Kelvin Denton was shot in the nose and throat. The alleged shooter claims he attacked Denton because he believed Denton was misrepresenting his gender. Denton is currently in critical condition. • If Denton's story didn't make you depressed enough: Two radio show hosts in Sacramento held a half hour show last week in which they encouraged violence against transgender children, who they referred to as "idiots" and "freaks." • A Florida attorney defending a man accused of killing his wife has attempted to shift the blame from his client to the victim's spray tan, which she got the day before she died. • Norwegian researchers have cleared Kegel exercises for pregnant women. Many doctors previously believed that Kegels—often performed by pregnant women to prevent incontinence—could cause complications during birth, but new research proves this fear unfounded. • Bobbi Davis, owner of Shady Lady Ranch in Nevada, said she may hire some male prostitutes at her brothel in order to boost business. At least four other brothels are also considering adding some sausage to their menus. • A curious 7-month-old kitten got stuck up a tree, where she spent the night fending off the vicious attacks of crows. The kitten was eventually rescued by the fire department. • By the year 2017, the majority of practicing doctors in Britain may be female, a recent report "warns." •  The Rhode Island senate has passed a bill that would allow same-sex couples funeral rights, however, the state is still one of the only two in New England that has not yet legalized same-sex marriage (New Hampshire being the other). • It's hard to know what to say: A young Arizona man raped his unconscious girlfriend with webcam directed at him, thereby broadcasting the assault all over the world via Stickcam.com. Apparently the assailant, Jonathan Hock, "is very popular on this site and known for his sex related behaviors."

[Image via Cute Overload.]

[Hanover, Germany. March 13. Image via Getty.]

A baby Giraffe stands next to its mother in the zoo in Hanover on March 13, 2009. The Giraffe young was born on February 24, 2009. (NIGEL TREBLIN/AFP/Getty Images)

[Birmingham, England. March 6. Image via Getty.]

BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - MARCH 06: George the Bulldog waits to go in the show ring on day two of the annual Crufts dog show at the National Exhibition Centre on March 6, 2009 in Birmingham, England. During this year's four-day competition nearly 23,000 dogs and their owners will vie for a variety of accolades but ultimately seeking the coveted 'Best In Show'. Amid controversy over the breeding and welfare of dogs the main sponsors Pedigree and the BBC have this year dropped out of the world's biggest dog show. (Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images)

A newborn giraffe foal is pictured at the Planckendael Zoo on March 5, 2009 in Muizen. (JORGE DIRKX/AFP/Getty Images)

• Tuesday marked the 35th Anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. We told our stories and asked for yours.
  
• Heath Ledger died. We were all distraught about it and may have re-watched Ten Things I Hate About You and sobbed.
  
• Barbara Ehrenreich's comparison of the economy to a giant clit made us feel vaguely better.
  
• Also amusing: the myriad "talents" of Miss America contestants.
  
• Slut Machine doled out sage advice in the first video edition of Pot Psychology. Don't do drugs, kids!
  
• But do watch some barely legal Brazilian boys dance in their skivvies, get your old-ass hands pumped full of collagen and gnaw on some baby animals. It's been a doozy of a week, you're worth it!

[All gallery images via AP.]

[Surrey, England; May 17. Images via Splash]