At downtown boutique Opening Ceremony, the line stretched down the block. The promised customized cars, out of which designers like Rodarte (a low rider convertible) and Alex Wang (a black van) were to sell their wares were just a row of cars parked cheek by jowl on the side of the narrow street; the real action was in the store, and the entire population of Williamsburg appeared ready to wait upwards of an hour to see it. I texted a friend who works at the store — no response — then screwed up my courage to go talk to the burly security guard at the door. "I'm a reporter," I said, plaintively. "I'm here to write about this!" He looked at me skeptically. I repeated this claim to a small woman in a large fascinator and a complicated dress, who eventually waved me in.

New Fashion Rule: If you cannot spell "Azzedine Alaïa", you should not be permitted to sell his shorts for $60.

I'd had a weird day at the tents — at one point I was standing next to four people deadpanning conversation, all wearing sunglasses inside — so I called that affable Marxist/skewerer of frivolity/drinker, former Jezebel editor Moe Tkacik. My partner in crime for the night eventually made it into the store, and we were served big cans of Asahi by a smiling bartender in a skintight waistcoat. We looked at the people. We looked at the wares — knits covered in rickrack, jewelry that looked like animal claws — and watched as people lined up to buy Fashion's Night Out t-shirts. We drank our beers and watched the crowd. Later, we made our way to Rag & Bone, the pricey vintage store What Goes Around Comes Around, and a multi-designer sample sale at the TriBeCa Grand hotel. Sadie, on the whole a more dedicated shopper, checked out Opening Ceremony, Prada, Intermix, Banana Republic, Oak, Club Monaco, Madewell (she likes their boots!) and a couple of boutiques.

Jenna: So! I was just writing about the scene at Opening Ceremony. What did you think of Opening Ceremony? How long was the line when you got there?
Sadie: The line was nuts - all the way down the block, and it didn't seem to be progressing at all.
Jenna: I shamelessly blagged my way in as press.
Sadie: The whole vibe was unpleasantly "hot club" — down to the letdown of getting in.
Jenna: Yes! All it needed was a velvet rope. The bouncers, the clipboard dragons. The boomboom music. It was just like a club, except inside it was brightly lit. And, you know, except that the Beatrice never tolerated anything so unseemly as an actual line outside.
Sadie: Well, Banana Republic actually had a 3" velvet rope!
Jenna: Wow. Tell me about that — I didn't go there.
Sadie: Ha, that was the best: they had the rope, and this poor woman in an evening gown wielding a fan — but then inside it was...Banana Republic. Open late, it's true! Did you get to Intermix?
Jenna: No, I missed it. I went to Rag & Bone to see my friend who works there, except the FNO iPhone app sent me to the Christopher St. store. And my friend works at SoHo. Thanks, Style.com!
Sadie: Oh, dear. How was R&B otherwise? Hipstered out?
Jenna: Actually, it had a very pleasant down-home kind of feel. I rendez-vous'd there with some friends who had just come from the gallery openings in Chelsea, and one of them lives in Japan. He kept on comparing the store's aesthetic to Japanese clothing, which I can actually totally see.
Sadie: Oh, definitely. Were folks shopping?
Jenna: You know, that classic pieces reworked and finessed, done with an eye for design, but subtle, kinda thing. But it was strange at the same time, because the store was made over as an Irish pub.
No, I saw very few shoppers.
But they had a fiddle band! And honeyed whiskey. And Guinness, from an actual keggerator. (I think.)

Sadie: Ooh, nice!
Jenna: Moe and I got to talking about keggerators, because she used to live in a house that had one.
Sadie: I got insufficient drinks, considering.
Jenna: (Dude room-mates, of course.) Rag & Bone also had this neat gravity-fed whiskey autodispenser. Very technological.
Sadie: Ha! Now: what did you wear?!
Jenna: Important question, which I spent a long time thinking about before leaving the house. I wore: a green 1940s bouclé jacket with balloon sleeves and a nipped waist. It has a totally shattered lining — which meant I got it cheap — but the greatest part is it's got an awesome collar. It's self fabric on one side, and rabbit fur (I think?) on the other. And you can either let the collar fall open across your shoulders, and it looks like these awesome, structured, furry shoulderpads on the outside of your jacket. Or you can tie the collar up tighter and it forms a big muffler around your face. It came in handy because it was so cold last night! I wore it with jeans and comfortable shoes. What did YOU wear? :P
Sadie: Well, I changed from my actual work clothes into a fake business costume, trying to convey that "coming-from-a-cool-office" vibe. I wore this swell pair of very high-waisted pleated plaid trousers, apparently the former possession of an elderly society matron, now in a nursing home. They are about 40% ridiculous. With them, a plain blouse and some very high vintage heels. Oh, and I cut myself a possibly ill-judged ragged bang just before running out the door.
Jenna: Oooh, last-minute haircut. I like that. I trimmed my own hair myself the other day because it was getting shaggy in back — I'm trying to turn my pixie into a messy bob, Karen Elson c.a. 1997 kind of thing. Naturally, I thought of your post and all kinds of disastrous self-inflicted haircuts of years past.
Sadie: Yes, but the temptation always proves irresistible! Did you see any really noteworthy looks? (Besides those dudes voguing wildly in the window of Opening Ceremony.)
Jenna: I saw two great looks, actually: I dragged Moe, Japan-man, this German guy, and everyone else I was with to What Goes Around Comes Around, where they were almost out of booze but had amazing black and white cookies. And this shopgirl had on the perfect pair of jean shorts, not cut-offs but actual high-waisted vintage shorts, and a really simple silk printed blouse. And cowboy boots. It was very straightforward but the pieces looked fantastic together, and she looked comfortable, especially for someone who was standing around in 40 degree weather in shorts. Then, at the sample sale at the TriBeCa Grand, there was a beautiful woman wearing a teal suede vintage mini-dress. It had shoulder pads and a scoop neck, and it fit her perfectly. She said she'd bought it at a thrift store in Palm Beach for $4.
Sadie: I saw one girl whose look was so hip as to verge on dowdy, and I loved it: she had sort of Cameron-Diaz-in-Being-John-Malkovich hair, big glasses, and this maxi dress. She also looked furious.
I spied Lynn Yaeger, in what looked like vintage lace but might have been partly Prada.
Most folks were too self-consciously fashion-y in cage heels and leggings etc.
Jenna: Oh, man, a Lynn Yaeger sighting. I am so jealous. That Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovich look is so hard to pull off, I always mentally nod in respect when I see it even attempted. I agree, though, in general the crowd was very skinny-destroyed-jeans, studs-on-things, chunky-heels, blouson-top, "I-totally-just-threw-this-on," either all-black or whoa-random-colors. Kind of a boring look.
Sadie: I complimented her, which was maybe breaking the fourth wall, because she was clearly put out by my importuning. My blouse got ripped in the crush. But hopefully everyone thought it was a deliberate twist on buttoned-up menswear. Punk edge, you know.
Jenna: me: Absolutely. So where else did you go?
Sadie: Saw a little of the Rapture's "set" at Prada...glimpsed the Miller sisters...
Jenna: Spy Grace Coddington?
Sadie: No! Sadly. I bet she left; I don't blame her — having to strand around these stores for 6 hours seems very tedious.
Jenna: Absolutely. Not least because nobody was buying much.
Sadie: I grabbed drinks at Madewell and Club Monaco, as they were en route to the hot dog truck.
Jenna: I guess they are hoping heavily for a sort of follow-through, now the seal has been broken.
I did not have any food all night! Aside from those black and white cookies.
Sadie: One assumes. Tell me how much actual shopping you saw, because I witnessed very little!
Jenna: Plenty o' booze, though. Moe and I did well on that score. Very little shopping. Some people were trying things on at the TriBeCa Grand. But most of the stores I went to were mobbed because of the entertainment/gawking/novelty factor.
Sadie: The atmosphere was really not conducive to shopping. And some places served red wine!
Jenna: Not because of actual sales opportunities.
Sadie: How would you characterize the atmosphere, overall? And the crowd? (Relative to the hype.)
me: It was really cool, actually, I enjoyed myself more than I thought I would. It was definitely fun — if occasionally ridiculous. I saw a woman in a leopard print dress and a (different) leopard print scarf at What Goes Around Comes Around. She tried on a blue sequined jumpsuit I had just browsed on the rack. It cost something like $2,500.
And the Opening Ceremony scene was just — nuts. The camera set-up in the store window, the prices of things, the mayhem.
Sadie: I mean, that was frankly kind of my idea of hell. That's why I don't go to "clubs."
Jenna: did you see that cardigan by Rodarte at Opening Ceremony, folded up, with two tags? One was printed and said $2,800. The other was written by hand in highlighted sharpie, and said DO NOT PICK UP RODARTE. It was the most heartbreaking thing ever. I took a picture.

Sadie: YES! But overall: yeah, kind of fun. There was definitely a carnival atmosphere on the streets.
Jenna: So Moe and I went over to the mannequins and TOUCHED THE RODARTE. Rodarte is soft, it turns out.

Sadie: NO!!!
Jenna: Yup, we did.
Sadie: Did officious publicists scream at you? Did the guys in the window stop voguing? DID YOU HURT THE ECONOMY?
Jenna: No! We just pawed at the pretty gothic-Stevie Nicks dresses until we were satisfied. Then drank more Asahi. Did you buy anything?
Sadie: Nope! (Well, except the hot dog.)
Jenna: I bought a gorgeous Marios Schwab dress from a vintage seller at the TriBeCa Grand. me: it's black, billowy chiffon, with polarfleece sleeves, and a strange technofabric-and-elastic boned harness that comes over the shoulders and clicks in front with a — one of those closures they use on backpacks or fanny packs, generally with poly webbing. You know? Or on bicycle helmets. It was really cool, in a sort of techno-gothic way. I'm wearing it right now! It's warm. Best of all, it was only $50. But I only had $20, so I had to get my Opening Ceremony worker friend to spot me $30 from his hidden stash of emergency money. As he said, it was clearly a Fashion Emergency. (Yuk, yuk, yuk!)
Sadie: That is the perfect thing to buy at a fashion event. (Besides a hot dog.) Wear it next year — maybe we can skip the lines at O.C. Assuming this hasn't fixed the economy, that is.

• Victoria Beckham reportedly owns 100 Birkins, with a $2 million value. Although Posh's penchant for the carryalls isn't in question, we do nonetheless note this story has two pictures of her holding Kellys. [Daily Mail]

• Right after settling the lawsuit brought against it by Woody Allen to the tune of a cool $5 mil, American Apparel released its quarterly results. And they were less than glowing. In the period ended March 31, the fashion giant lost $9 million, as operating costs rose 21%, to $69.3 million, and sales grew only 2.4%, to $114.3 million. Company stock fell by 20% during yesterday's trading. Because of the classification of its revolving credit facility as a long-term obligation, American Apparel may also be obligated to restate its previous financial statements. It has already reduced its full-year sales forecast by $25-$50 million. [Reuters]
• Michelle Obama cut the ribbon on the renovated American Wing of the Metropolitan Museum of Art wearing a purple Isaac Mizrahi sheath. Oscar de la Renta was heard to sob quietly into his pocket square. [WWD]
• Then, she went to the American Ballet Theatre's spring gala at the Metropolitan Opera House, where she wore an Azzedine Alaïa dress and a Thakoon jacket. Earlier, at the museum, she said: "The arts are not just a nice thing to have or to do if there is free time or if one can afford it. Rather, paintings and poetry, music and fashion, design and dialogue, they all define who we are as a people and provide an account of our history for the next generation." [AP]
• Anna Wintour's office chairs, glimpsed briefly in the 60 Minutes segment that aired Sunday, have been ID'd: they are classics of Art Deco design, and cost $250 apiece. [UnBeige]
• Brüno has a Twitter account, and you can expect Tweets in the character's voice until the movie hits theaters on July 10 (it is, naturally, a marketing effort). For now, enjoy witticisms such as: "Am I ze most gifted Austrian ever? Let's just say zat at 14 ich could play Rock Me Amadeus on ze flute. Falco didn't write it til he vas 29." And: "Ze vorld ist zo screwed up - vhy do zey give out Nobel Prizes for physics, medicine und svimming, but not for fashion?" [Brüno's Twitter]
• Isabel and Ruben Toledo, fashion designer and fashion illustrator, respectively, were honored with the André Leon Talley Lifetime Achievement Award at the Savannah College of Art and Design's annual fashion show. Talley told the crowd, "The Toledos represent a quarter century of love and brand building. They're like two oaks, branches intertwined forever." [Reuters]
• In other awards-show effusions, Betsey Johnson compared New York Fashion Week head Fern Mallis to David Bowie and Mick Jagger as she presented her with Parsons' AAS Icon Award. When students in the Associates in Applied Science fashion marketing program got a little rowdy, Johnson quieted them with four words: "I'm looking to hire." [WWD]
• For a taste of how the Valentino half lives, imagine this: fireplaces ablaze out of season, air conditioners running, and uniformed manservants depositing cool glasses of water onto linen napkins. Also: secret buttons inside the bookshelves. [Guardian]
• Marc Ecko has announced he'll be doing co-branded collections with DC Comics, incorporating the characters of Batman and the Rogues Gallery. Perhaps the superheroes can save his troubled business? [WWD]
• Burberry, in the year ended March 31, lost $9 million. Its core earnings fell 13%, but annual sales rose 21%. The main reason for the loss was a company write-down that cost £116 million. The brand, which has already laid off 800 workers, still expects to open 10-15 stores this year. [WSJ]
• Yesterday, we included a Rag Trade item, sourced to WWD, about designer Erin Fetherston. Fetherston was reported to be making a short film about her fall collection in New York's West Village, starring Juliette Lewis with music by Damon Dash, and her husband, the artist Hedi Firjani, told WWD that Fetherston was looking to launch a line with QVC, probably timed to coincide with New York Fashion Week this September. Both are untrue, according to Fetherston's PR rep, who contacted us shortly after we published. Fetherston is making a film, with director Marisa Crawford, but Juliette Lewis isn't the star. And the deal with QVC is not confirmed.

• Eva Mendes, along with male model Jamie Dornan, are confirmed as the fall faces of Calvin Klein Jeans and Calvin Klein Underwear. Steven Klein shot the campaigns. [WWD]

• At last night's Met ball, seven models and one designer were conspicuously absent. Azzedine Alaïa, the diminutive Tunisian-born designer whose relationship with his models, particularly the mega-famous 80s/90s supes, is so deep that most of them call him "papa," was not asked to be part of the Met's exhibition, themed "The Model as Muse." Because, explains curator Harold Koda, he assumed, without even checking, that Alaïa would not want to be in the exhibit. Although Alaïa made and fitted dresses for models including Stephanie Seymour, Naomi Campbell (who has been his muse for 23 years), Veronica Webb, and Linda Evangelista to attend the exhibit opening, when he found out that none of his work would be represented at the museum, he asked all his models not to attend. Which they were more than happy to do. "Azzedine has made my dress for every single ball," said Seymour. "I will still make my donation to the Met, but I won't be going." Koda, ball organizer Anna Wintour, and co-chair Marc Jacobs, whose company is sponsoring the event, are all very sorry indeed that the designer who has perhaps the most enduring links of all with his model-muses will not be included in the show about designers, models, and muses. But none of them admit a whit of responsibility, which leads me to point out here, that Azzedine Alaïa, like Dries van Noten and a handful of other successful designers, doesn't produce campaigns. Armani and Versace, the two designers who dominate the 80s section of the exhibit, regularly lavish Vogue with their advertising dollars. [On The Runway & On The Runway]
• Of the event itself, the Times writes: "Asked how she felt about being a museum-worthy muse, Ms. Moss shrugged and pulled a big piece of gum out of her mouth. 'I'm amused,' she said. 'I think it's quite interesting for somebody to go outside of the box and think that a model actually has had some input into fashion. A lot of the time, the models don't really get a say.'" [NY Times]
• Significantly more enthusiastic was André Leon Talley, who, upon his first sighting of Moss, was heard to shriek "Goddess!" [WWD Twitter]
• Today, Chanel launches its new ad for its No. 5 perfume, a video by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, starring Audrey Tautou. In honor of the momentous occasion, the stretch of Fifth Avenue that borders Saks will be renamed "Avenue No 5" and the department store's windows will be dressed to celebrate the ad. [Racked]
• Jason Wu gives New York magazine a tour of the modest West 37th St. one-bedroom, decorated all in gray, that his family bought him after he moved to New York. The designer relaxes by cooking dinners for his friends. In between, he clears off the kitchen bench to design his FAO Schwartz range of dolls. [NYMag]
• Elle MacPherson's style icons are Steve McQueen and Katharine Hepburn. She also name-drops Banjo and Matilda cashmere, "an Australian brand," without specifying that it's owned by her brother and sister-in-law. [Independent]
• Marc Jacobs: "If you have five minutes free in New York, you're a failure. If you have five minutes free in Paris, you're a success." [Glamour]
• Stella McCartney has been making appearances at Barneys left and right; she's doing two more before the week is out. And her 23-piece collection for Net-a-porter goes on sale today. [WWD]
• Miuccia Prada loves her Carston Höller office slide, contemporary art, and Earl Grey tea. And being different. "I always want to be different, as a way to progress. At the beginning, I wanted to make a soft bag out of stiff leather. I wanted to make rich materials look poor, and poor materials look rich. Always there was something disturbing. In the end, that's probably why people like Prada." [Telegraph]
• American Apparel's witness list for its upcoming court date with Woody Allen includes Allen's ex, Mia Farrow, his current wife and Farrow's adopted daughter, Soon-Yi Previn, and Larry Flynt. [Reuters]
• Conflicting reports about Liz Claiborne today: while just last week Racked was reporting that, gee, an awful lot of the new Isaac Mizrahi-designed clothes seemed to be already needing heavy discounts on the website to move, today, Goldman Sachs upgraded the stock to a "buy," partly due to the company's leaner inventories. Share prices rose 30%, to $6.46, following the news. [Crain's]
• In this economy, retailers are trying "positive thinking." Because it's all they have left! Ha ha, I'm kidding. But only a little. [WWD]
• Adidas needs to save 100 million Euros this year. To that end, it's closing regional offices in Europe and Asia, and has not ruled out shutting retail stores. [NY Times]
• J. Crew's children's line, Crewcuts, now has its own standalone catalog. [WWD]
• Estée Lauder's profits fell 70% in the third quarter, so now they're touting the brand as a good option for bargain-hunters. There'll be more free services at the cosmetics counter, and smaller-size products that'll be priced to scale. But probably still expensive. [WSJ]
• Kathy Ireland thinks the media obsession with women's bodies is ridiculous, and that the focus on how we look, as opposed to our health, is misdirected. Because bodies are for living in, not looking at. "Beautiful people come in all shapes and sizes, ages and colors," Ireland told Larry King. "With my weight gain, people wanted to know, Well, when is she going to squeeze back into a bikini? No. That is not what it's about. But what people weren't asking me [was], What's the triglyceride level? What is the C reactive protein?...Heart disease is the number one killer of women in America." [CNN]

• File under matches made in heaven: Karl Lagerfeld has designed couture costumes for England's National Ballet. [Telegraph]

• Did Eva Herzigova drink a lot of champagne at the opening of the Michael Kors store in London, and then walk out the door with a bracelet, watch, and sunglasses? Security guards reportedly looked like they were going to stop the supermodel, until the paparazzi started taking her picture. Kors claimed the next day that Herzigova was "being cheeky" — but that the items were a gift. [Daily Mail]
• Get ready to see a lot more of Jessica Biel: The actress has been named the newest face of Revlon. [WWD]
• Filene's Basement has filed for bankruptcy protection. Apparently, now that other stores have been forced to cut their prices, Filene's discounts are less impressive in the retail lineup. [Reuters]
• The Olivier Theyskens/Halston rumors are back. With the added complicator of Anna Wintour's involvement. [WWD]
• Holding the annual costume institute gala at the Met might distract from the Renoirs, sniffs writer Michael Gross. [NY Post]
• Christy Turlington, Naomi Campbell, and Linda Evangelista will all skip the event. Turlington is out of the country, filming a (doubtless very important) "documentary on maternal health." Steven Meisel will also sit the party out — but that's no surprise since the man is rarely glimpsed in public. [P6]
• Patti Smith doesn't require fashion. "I can wear rags," says the musician. "But they have to be cool rags." [The Cut]
• Mischa Barton, however, pretty much requires headbands. Or at least requires you to buy hers, since she doesn't have a career anymore, other than waiting to see if her pilot is getting picked up. [People]
• England apparently has has a Dress of the Year award since 1963. And this year it went to Kate Moss, for one of her Topshop designs. [Independent]
• Meanwhile Topshop, ever the good neighbor, has apparently knocked off Alexander Wang's "naked" dress — the one with the floating embroidery on mesh. [Racked]
• Wang's jacket for the Gap looks like a a biker jacket that swallowed a trench coat. [Racked]
• Is Azzedine Alaïa looking to launch a lingerie line? If so, why wont the famously body-conscious women's wear designer design it himself? [Elle]
• Speaking of lingerie, you should read this entertaining profile of Joe Corré, son of Vivienne Westwood and Malcolm McLaren, and co-founder of Agent Provocateur. "I don't buy into all this brand-identity bollocks — the Gucci lifestyle, the Prada lifestyle," says Corré. "What does that mean? That you're a rich, bored idiot with no soul? It's just emperor's new clothes bullshit. We're against all that. Agent Provocateur is about an attitude, about empowerment." [Guardian]
• Hogan's fall campaign will reportedly star Nate Lowman, an artist who dates Mary-Kate Olsen. [Fashionista]
• Bar Refaeli, the Israeli supermodel, has designed "the perfect little black bikini." It looks exactly like every other string bikini you've ever seen, but it costs $120. [People]
• Ben Sherman is quitting the footwear business by the end of this year. [WWD]
• On the other foot: Skechers, which is now back in the black. [WWD]
• Lily Cole, the British model, has not one but three movies coming out. And a new Rimmel ad. And, oh yeah, she's a full-time student at Cabridge. [The Cut]
• Thom Browne, whose business was rumored to be in dire straits recently, had his CEO and CFO depart on Friday. [WWD]

• "It's not up to him to give her lessons; Michelle Obama is of her time; Oscar de la Renta is no longer," scoffed designer Azzedine Alaïa. Ooh, breaking: Oscar is on the View now. [WWD]

• Chloe Sevigny might not do her Opening Ceremony line every season, because she's busy being on the TV. Still with the I-actually-design-this-crap pretense! [The Cut]
• As promised, The Daily Beast now features advertising! Read all about HOW BOTTEGA VENETA IS KEEPING LUXURY RELEVANT. (Presented by Bottega Veneta.) [Daily Beast]
• Isaac Mizrahi just made an announcement on The Today Show: Women, we need to be spending all our money on our hair! It's what's important in life. [Anna's Twitter]
• Ads for Matthew Williamson's collection for H&M, which goes on sale May 14, have leaked. Daria Werbowy prances, mantis-like, on a beautiful beach wearing acid bright paisleys. And a bikini I really want. They gave Werbowy the same rope of loosely braided fake hair that the current H&M collection models sport in their campaign, and which I assume is not even supposed to look real. [Nitro:Licious]
• Depending on the outcome of a lawsuit, Forever 21 may find itself no longer able to copy designers' offerings willy-nilly. Trovata, whose shirts the fast fashion chain shamelessly ripped off several seasons ago, has been suing the company since, and the case is finally set to go to trial. Which means a jury would decide if the "inspiration" (which extended to the placement and choice of buttons and other unique design features) was illegal. [WWD]
• The chief executives of faltering fashion companies continue to get raises! After Kay Krill at Ann Taylor and Glenn Murphy at the Gap each got hefty pay hikes, Jones Apparel Group has raised the compensation of its CEO, Wesley Card, by 38%, to $5.5 million, for 2008. That was the same year Jones Apparel Group lost $765 million. The company owns brands like Jones New York, Anne Klein, and Nine West, and its sales fell 6% last year. Its share price has dropped by over 60%. [Crain's]
• Experts estimate global sales of luxury goods will shrink by 10% in the coming year. [WSJ]
• Marc Jacobs opened a store for his slightly lower-priced Marc by Marc Jacobs line in London. [Independent]
• While women's apparel sales have been falling sharply, menswear is up 1%. Tom Ford says his stonkingly expensive eponymous men's line is doing just fine (although we can't imagine he's sold many $30,000 cufflinks lately). Savile Row tailors Anderson & Sheppard — where Alexander McQueen once trained — say they've had 20 new clients in the past month, which is a significant increase for a small business. [FT]
• Splitting the difference this spring: pant suits, especially when the jackets are in that slouchy 80s boyfriend style. The Times does an apt enough job tracing the trend to its point of origin. [NY Times]
• Frida Giannini, the woman who's transformed Gucci's look (and who did groundwork for that blazer trend), says she's keen to start a Gucci cosmetics line. [Times of London]
• Oh, my. This latest ad for edgy lingerie company Agent Provocateur sure is very racy. I hope all the attention they get for it won't hurt their brand. [Independent]

• Behold actress Rene Russo, doing moderately fetishistic things with designer Brian Atwood's shoes and a hunky model, for a limited-release book, which sounds suspiciously like a fancy lookbook. [NY Mag]

• Nordstrom is recalling about 31,000 pairs of girls' shoes sold under their store brand. The shoes, which were made in China, do not meet new federal standards for lead levels. Girls shoes affected by the recall were sold between September, 2006, and February, 2009, and can be returned to any Nordstrom store for a full refund. [WWD]
• And in more news of the increasing weirdness of lookbooks — seriously, a couple years ago these were just collections of snapshots intended to document the coming season's line for buyers, not even everybody bothered doing them, and now they're as ubiquitous and heralded as campaigns and as lavishly shot as editorials — Band of Outsiders picked Sarah Silverman to model their offerings for their other label, Boy. [The Moment]
• In a blast right from 1997, Liam Gallagher is launching a fashion line. "I'm doing it cuz [sic] there's a lack of stuff out there of the things I would wear," said the ever-articulate rock star. [Telegraph]
• Writer Rowan Pelling held a panel discussion at the Victoria and Albert museum in London to discuss the greening of fashion. After talking with such luminaries as Dame Vivienne Westwood ("don't wash your clothes, thus saving water and reducing the flow of harmful chemicals into our rivers"), Pelling remained unconvinced that the fashion industry could ever do any real good for the environment. Perhaps someone who admits to sending really special clothes to "expert" drycleaners in Florence, Italy, wasn't the best choice for an environmental consciousness-raising? [Telegraph]
• Bold words from Council of Fashion Designers of America president Diane von Furstenberg at the party celebrating this year's nominees. "We will surf the tsunami and do very well," announced the designer. Executive director Steve Kolb explained the CFDA's decision to give Michelle Obama a special award in June, saying that the First Lady was eligible for nominations almost across the board for categories like Style Icon. But, "the board wanted to give her a serious award. As part of the award, we will establish a grant in her name to support young talent, because she has really epitomized that." No word yet on whether the Obamas will attend; I'm sure the CFDA can only hope. [WWD]
• A reporter for The Cut witnessed the taping of Valentino's Martha Stewart appearance — and says that the audience was more interested in Martha's demonstration of lemon cleaning copper than in anything Vava had to say. It airs Friday, so, uh, mark your calendars. [NY Mag]
• Women's Wear Daily reports that Valentino also used the opportunity to shoot down the rumors that he had a designing hand in the collection that just walked in Paris. All while referring to the new designers, Maria Grazia Chiuri and Pier Paolo Piccioli, as his "assistants." [WWD]
• Jil Sander is just settling in to her new position overseeing men's and women's wear at Uniqlo. And she has some grand ideas for the brand. [WWD]
• An 18th Century masterpiece by the German-born British painter Johann Zoffany — a royal portraitist and a favorite of Geoge III — has been withdrawn from the auction of items from Gianni Versace's Lake Como villa. The portrait of Major General Maule was described as the centerpiece of the art sale, but descendants of the army officer featured say that the painting was stolen 30 years ago. Versace, who is believed not to have known the work's value, bought it 15 years ago. The painting had been estimated to fetch £40,000-£60,000 at auction. [Independent]
• Also selling cast-offs is Rachel Zoe. 50-100 pieces of costume jewelry will go on sale to a crowd of invited guests at L.A. vintage institution Decades Two next Thursday. However, any unsold items will be put on eBay, so you can overpay for gold-toned owl necklaces and chunky beads from your own home. Some of the proceeds will go to charity, and the in-store melee will be filmed for, what else, Bravo's The Rachel Zoe Project. [Fashionista]
• Katy Perry, on being a fashion 'Don't' for her outrageous(ly unfortunate) style: "I like experimenting and I'm totally OK with ending up in the ‘worst dressed.'...I have my own look, which I call ‘Lolita meets old Hollywood Glam.' " So is she in on the joke, or not? [People]
• British ex-model and television presenter Alexa Chung: gets invited to Paris to see the Louis Vuitton show ("I was presented with a pair of severe skyscraper heels for the event which I smugly paraded about atop of until the cobbled streets outside of the Louvre betrayed me") and DJ the Fendi party ("almost like a scene from Zoolander.") Then she runs into Beth Ditto and shares a nervous laugh about the whole scene. [Independent]
• Tattoo artist Scott Campbell is responsible for most of Marc Jacobs' torso. He's a sucker for romantic declarations in permanent ink — he should know, he has four women's names on his body already. [Observer]
• Amber le Bon, daughter of Simon and Yasmin le Bon, is the new, er, face of Myla lingerie. [Sun]
• Tamara Mellon of Jimmy Choo has designed a series of makeup bags for this fall — which Fashionista says could easily double as clutches. Everyone likes a bargain! Unfortunately, the Jimmy Choo/Hunter croc-embossed rubber rainboots pictured cost $395. Which is ridiculous. (There's already a waiting list.) [Fashionista]
• Pretty boy Zac Efron got down and dirty in a sandbox with Lithuanian model Edita Vileviciute for Interview. Edita didn't know who he was. [E! Online]
• L'Wren Scott, the towering ex-model/stylist/designer/Mick Jagger consort, says her line is all about timeless pieces — and power. "Women of every age and size really just want to look sexy, while retaining their power and dignity," she says, noting that her line is produced in sizes up to an Italian 48 (approximately a US 14). Which ain't great, but I've met designers who wrinkle their noses at the thought of making a size 8 dress, so at least it's not just lip service. Perhaps the 6'4" Scott has a more intrinsic grasp of the frustrations of having a body that is unnecessarily hard to fit in conventional stores' offerings? [Daily Beast]
• Following the announcement of a 45% fall in net profits for 2008, Alberto Nathansohn, the CFO of Bulgari has unexpectedly resigned. Flavia Spena, who has been with the company for 20 years and currently holds the position of head of human resources, will take over Nathansohn's duties. Shares fell 5.27% in the remainder of the day's trading in Milan as many analysts downgraded their ratings to "sell." [FT]
• French Connection, owner of the brand FCUK, has posted a £17.4 million annual loss for the year to January 31. [Telegraph]
• Guess? Inc. is doing comparatively fine. Fourth quarter global revenues increased by 9%, and 18% in Europe. However, same-store sales for the quarter in North America decreased 6.5%, and 1% for the year. [Breitbart]
• Susan Kellogg has resigned her position as chief executive at Tahari. [WWD]
• Azzedine Alaïa's 9-month-old St. Bernard puppy and his four cats all sleep together in one big pile. Nomnomnomnomnommmmm. [Paper]

• Luke Wilson is "designing" a line of golf products and accessories for Puma. Ah, the insatiable American hunger for the consumption of stuff and celebrity! Or the perception of the insatiability, or whatever. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Speaking of! Rod Stewart is launching a clothing line. [Guardian]
  
• Donna Karan is doing Passover with Demi and Ashton in Miami. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Really, how much longer can Christian Siriano hold congratulatory celebrations for himself? [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Elle Macpherson is the latest face of Revlon. [WWD, sub req'd]

• English girl designers Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig are adding a bridal collection for their label, Marchesa, to debut next month. Chapman made herself not one but two wedding dresses for her recent nuptials to Harvey Weinstein, so she's totally qualified, btw. [WWD, 1st item]
• Marc Jacobs is already fighting with his new boyfriend, Austin A. Also: partying in sweatpants and wife-beaters.[Page Six]
• Mary J. Blige is taking sellers of knockoff Mary J. Blige concert tees to court. [Page Six]
• George Clooney may not be doing his own clothing line, but he does wear Belstaff in his upcoming film Leatherheads and the Italian label is sponsoring the film's European premiere. [Vogue UK]
• Steve McQueen also did not do his own clothing line. Though we think the fact that he's dead should have been evidence enough. [Reuters]
• Israeli fashion is apparently on the rise. I am going to be polite here and pretend like the words "Israeli style" don't actually evoke any sort of mental image for me because I love my people. But. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Jean-Paul Gaultier: Dressing Kylie Minogue for her upcoming tour. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Azzedine Alaia just received a French Legion of Honor. Who? What? [WWD, 1st item]
• Tom Ford has designs on Japan. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Stella McCartney is heading to India. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Agyness Deyn continues to find work. [The Sun UK]
• Drinking this water will apparently magically protect your skin from UV rays; LOL. [Chic Report]
• O.C. alum Samaire Armstrong: has a clothing line too. [Sassybella]
• How to recycle your clothing! [Utne]

• "Linda Evangelista and Christy Turlington would go to big designers and say: 'If you don't want Naomi to be in your show, then I don't want to be in it'...Women of colour are not a trend...That's the bottom line." — Naomi Campbell, still fighting for the cause of models of color. [Vogue UK]
  
• Speaking of women of color: Liya Kebede is looking to diversify! The model will be launching a children's clothing line made in Ethiopia but sold in the United States. [Chic Report]
  
• Dylan McDermott on why he attended the Proenza Schouler show: "My publicist said I should come." We admire his honesty. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Saleisha from ANTM walked in the Tibi show yesterday. No one cared. [Fashion Week Daily]

• And this is why I can't get enough of wunderkind designer Chris Benz: "Fall was kind of inspired by the time when I was staying in the 8th arrondissement in Paris...and there were these amazing old women with their slips showing, who would wear a hat from 1952 that they just pulled out. It was very Carol Channing. This will be known as the granny collection!" (Though Benz told me at his presentation on Monday night that the collection was inspired by The Royal Tenenbaums, but whatevs.) [Fashion Week Daily]
• Natalia Vodianova isn't really retiring! Says the Russian model, "I think maybe I'll do one a year. I don't want to get rusty." [FabSugar]
• Marie Claire editor-in-chief Joanna Coles on the Halston show: "I actually thought a lot of the models were too young to wear the clothes!" Obvs. [Chic Report]
• Rihanna on why she designed her umbrella line for Totes, "We ladies hate walking around with clumsy umbrellas all the time." True 'dat. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Why Rachel Zoe claims to have not been at the Halston show on Monday, "I have five clients in town and my television show, and my day job comes first." Haha — bitch totally got fired. [WWD, 5th item]
• Through the magic of Facebook, spoiled teens (and bored bloggers who spend way too much time on Facebook) can tell all the world if they prefer Barneys to Coach and Marc Jacobs to Victoria's Secret. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Cole Haan's new CEO wants the label to re-invent itself and become super-cool. LOL! [WWD, sub req'd]
• In case you still haven't heard: The economy's really bad. Which is why Macy's is thinking of consolidating its regional operations. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Liz Claiborne has sold Laundry by Design and C&C California to Perry Ellis. We hope they're happy together. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Ralph Lauren's net income: Up by 2%. People still love that stupid little polo horse? [WSJ]
• Wish you were at Monday night's Chloe Sevigny for Opening Ceremony launch party? Pretend that you were with this video. [NYT]
• And watch the Proenza Schouler show for yourself here. [Sassybella]

• Anne Hathaway: Possible next face of Lancome, a brand already endorsed by "such luminaries as" Kate Winslet and Clive Owen. Wait, Clive Owen? Why can't they splash him all over our perfume advertisements? [WWD, 1st item]
  
• And in other face-of-campaign news, Jennifer Connelly will be fronting Balenciaga for spring and the rumor mill is already going that Victoria Beckham is to be the face of Marc Jacobs. But Marc has already worked so tirelessly to alienate himself to the fashion community! [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Speaking of Posh, did you think we were done hearing about Victoria Beckham's denim line, dVb? Ha ha ha, not a chance! For spring we have glitter denim headed our way! [WWD, 2nd item]

• And still speaking of Posh, omg! Tonight at midnight, the Victoria's Secret website will be selling a limited number of the new Spice Girls album, which will be available only at the lingerie chain because all the music retailers went into liquidation. [Fashion Week Daily]
• How precious: Sofia Coppola's 11-month old daughter played with all the shoes while the grown-ups looked at the private presentation Azzedine Alaia'c collection yesterday. We suppose a pile of Louboutins isn't all that different from the My Little Ponies of our youth. [WWD, 3rd item]
• The CW network attempts to atone for canceling "Veronica Mars" with a new — scripted — drama featuring Isaac Mizrahi. It's called "The Collection," and will recount his experiences as a designer/famewhore or something. [FabSugar]
• Uh-oh: Kate Moss for TopShop holiday line is available in the UK starting October 25. Which means stateside we can "look forward" to the flapper dresses and goth girl looks shortly thereafter. Will anyone care this time around? [Vogue UK]
• Confirmation for anyone who ever suspected fashion design is a load of crap: Marchesa designer Keren Craig on her design partner (and Harvey Weinstein lady love) Georgina Chapman's design process: "George will call me up and say 'I'm in a taxi and I'm thinking, light boxes, tulle' - and suddenly a dress appears from nowhere!" [Vogue UK]
• We like to eat fish. We are not sure yet if we would want to wear fish. Though we would if it just meant we would avoid agreeing with pain-in-the-ass Alice+Olivia designer Stacy Bendet. [NY Post]

• Enfant terrible Marc Jacobs stuck his tongue out at fashion critic/mortal enemy Suzy Menkes after his Louis Vuitton show. [Washington Post]
  
• And yeah, did we need to report that he started his show late? We probably didn't need to tell you that. [WWD, 4th item]
  
• Here's a sentence we never thought we would write: Following in the footsteps of Jay-Z, Bill Clinton is collaborating with Piguet to create a limited edition watch. [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• Holy fuck, Stella McCartney better find a pretty good way to explain to us how shoes made from pleather cost $595. [FabSugar]

• Bestest Fashion Week Quote of the Season: "Stefano [Pilati, Yves Saint Laurent designer]'s still the designer right?" —Kanye West at the YSL show. We wish we'd been sitting next to him at Dior Homme! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Um, Bebe does couture? That Sarah Michelle Gellar will believe anything! Of the dress she wore to the dinner in her honor hosted by Self magazine: "My dress is Bebe, but the couture Bebe line. My new stylist, Rob Zangardi, brought this out and was like, 'You're not gonna believe where this is from, but just trust me!'" [Fashion Week Daily]
• The Sex and the City movie will feature bridesmaid dresses by Zac Posen. Sigh. [FabSugar]
• For designer Azzedine Alaia, today is Independence Day. Having bought back 100% of his company from the Prada overlords back in July, Alaia has just announced that he has found an investor to make his fashion house his all over again. [Vogue UK]
• Private equity firm 3i would like to buy bad-girl lingerie company Agent Provocateur. Yeah, only because it's such a great investment. [Vogue UK]
• Prada has just hired a Chief Operating Officer. Which seems like a pretty important position to have in a business — so why did they never have one before? [WSJ]

• The Spice Girls are reuniting, and Donatella Versace may be dressing them for the reunion tour. G-d works in mysterious ways, and Jennie may have just forgiven Him for the Holocaust... [AHN.com]
  
• Prada sells Azzedine Alaia back to Azzedine Alaia. Which would sound all heartwarming and benevolent, if only it weren't a shrewd business decision. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Stella McCartney will be debuting a lingerie line next year, offering a "high-end product with prices that are a little below La Perla." And by that they mean $71 for panties and $447 for chemises. If these represent reasonable prices, Nick Denton is definitely not paying us enough. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Vanity Fair's September issue proffers its annual "Best Dressed" list, featuring a few members of the Conde payroll: Vanity Fair's fashion director Michael Roberts, contributing editor Lisa Eisner, and photographer-at-large Jonathan Becker, as well as Teen Vogue editor-in-chief Amy Astley, Vogue's style editor Alexandra Kotur, contributing editor Marina Rust Connor, and Anna Wintour spawn Bee Shaffer. That we are reading about this in an article penned by a few slightly, um, less-dressed members of the Conde payroll is not at all making us feel like we are seated at the nerd table in the cafeteria. [WWD, 1st item]

• In a move straight totally copped from our college's alumni association, the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA) is launching a Business Services Network which seeks to connect members with "key industry executives" that can provide resources and help for their businesses. If you're already a CFDA member, how much help do you actually need? Oh wait. See financial records of the majority of American high-end fashion houses. Never mind. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Annie Leibovitz's latest way to pay the bills? The Bottega Veneta fall 2007 ad campaign! Woman's got a family to feed, yo! It ain't all taking celebrity portraits for the glossies and mourning Susan Sontag! [Vogue UK]
• Aw, models! They're just like us! One of Burberry's latest faces? The son of Virgin tycoon Richard Branson, 21-year old aspiring rocker Sam! [Vogue UK]
• One of our main reason's for not taking that fourth year of science in high school? Our aversion to safety goggles. Which look dumb, no matter how good your shoes are. So why the fuck would we pay Dolce & Gabbana to re-create this look? [FabSugar]
• Hermes bags: Ridiculously overpriced, but rightfully named for true style icons. [See Birkin; Jane; Kelly, Grace.] But Naomi Campbell? Puke. [Sassybella]