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Posts Tagged “

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the week that was

This Week We Talked Queefs, Menses and Implants. You Know, The Ussh


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6:30 PM on Fri Jan 18 2008
By Jessica
1,892 views, 15 comments

Latest by leMaldeTete: @theuptightmidwesterner: Happy birthdayyy!! more »

toy stories

Glove Affair: Testing The Fukuoku Five Finger Vibrator

One of the sex toys I picked up at the Adult Entertainment Expo last week was the Fukuoku Five Finger Massage Glove. The packaging claims it was created from "the secrets of the Orient" but I actually got it from an booth where a blond middle-aged woman in a slutty police uniform was wearing the glove and using it on people's necks and backs. Having been on my feet in heeled boots all day and with a bag that weighed 25 lbs, the Massage Glove felt like heaven when she placed it beneath my shoulder blades. The glove comes in versions for both the right and left hands, and there's a vibe in each finger, with two adjustable speeds. There's also a little pocket for the battery pack, so there's no bulky appendage or wires to get in the way, making the product seemingly perfect for partner sex. Oh, and did I mention it's waterproof? Yeah. So, the other night, I ran a bath, grabbed my Fukuoku and put my hand to work. More »

2:30 PM on Thu Jan 17 2008
By Slut Machine
12,452 views, 131 comments

Latest by n/a: The Hitachi is sure a classic. Did you know you can get attachments for it? Those Fukuokos are just a bunch of hooey and good marketing. Noisy, uncomfortable and icky! more »

vegas, baby

The AVN Convention & Awards: I Came, I Saw, & I Came Some More

[The following is not necessarily safe for work...or eyeballs (it's epic, but well worth it). -Ed.]

I got back from Vegas on Sunday in the middle of the night. Since my last Vegas diary, I'd gone to the Fleshbot/Vivid Alt party, inhaled some substances, almost got married, played penny slots till dawn, went back to the Expo, attended the AVN Awards, got in a scuffle outside a fetish after-party, met two former Rock of Love contestants, got very drunk on red wine alone at Circle Bar in the Venetian, made out again at Grand Lux Cafe (apparently I love to love in that place), severely bruised my hips on the marble counter of my hotel room bathroom while getting pounded from behind, and then managed to catch my flight back home the next day, even though I was way late leaving for the airport. I think in those few days, I managed to sleep maybe five hours. Monday was the first time in days that I'd been stationary for an extended period of time, and really, it felt like I'd been hit by a car...and then had an episiotomy.

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4:20 PM on Wed Jan 16 2008
By Slut Machine
22,495 views, 92 comments

Loose Lips Gwyneth Paltrow was admitted to Mount Sinai Hospital in NYC yesterday for undisclosed reasons. Later that evening, she got a delivery from an organic home supply store. I know I can't get better without my pesticide-free hemp throw pillow, either. • Slut Machine wasn't the only one having fun in Vegas! Corey Feldman was also at the AVN Awards enjoying himself. • OMG, are Naomi Campbell and her GQ interview subject President Hugo Chavez dating?? South American reporters are saying yes, Naomi's rep is saying no. [Us,A Socialite's Life, Dlisted]

48 comments

porn ultimatum

Tristan Taormino: "Porn Is As Cerebral As It Is Visceral"

Village Voice columnist, author, adult film director, anal sex guru, and all-around sex educator Tristan Taormino is one of the most quotable women I've ever met in my life. When I interviewed her on Friday morning in Vivid Entertainment's booth at the Adult Entertainment Expo, I was having a hell of a time — in my hung-over condition, mind you — trying to write as fast as she talked. Seriously, I haven't worked my hand that hard since, well actually, since I got home last night and watched Chemistry 3, the latest installment of her reality DVD series that's sort of an experiment in pornography. Tristan puts six porn stars in a house for 36 hours, with no script, shooting schedule or scene requirements, and lets the sex happen naturally, allowing the performers to establish their own boundaries (or lack thereof). It's concepts like this that has Tristan challenging the existing order of things in the adult industry, as well as challenging typically non-porn watching audiences to open their minds to something they hadn't realized they could enjoy. Oh, and also, she's kuh-raaazy smart. More »

4:30 PM on Mon Jan 14 2008
By Slut Machine
17,492 views, 116 comments

Latest by n/a: @dcdulce: Like nerve.com's tagline: screw with your mind. (Actually, I don't know if they still say that but I have an old t-shirt of theirs that says it on the back.) more »

vegas, baby

Fear And Clothing In Las Vegas

In case you didn't know, I attended the Adult Entertainment Expo and AVN Awards in Las Vegas this past week. (You can check out the live blog I did of the actual awards show on Fleshbot.) And oh, the things I saw! There was no nudity allowed on the convention floor, and thank Jebus, because it was way more entertaining seeing what these people were actually wearing. Check out the gallery by clicking on any of the images below to see some of my favorite looks. And stay tuned today for more on what happened in at the Expo and parties this weekend, my report on the latest in sex toys, and an interview with Tristan Taormino. What happens in Vegas gets blogged about on Jezebel!

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1:00 PM on Mon Jan 14 2008
By Slut Machine
8,860 views, 43 comments

Latest by mllej: SM, please, what is that lovely dewey color on your cheeks? I'm over Benetint spills in my purse. more »

vegas, baby

Last Night I Boned An AVN Award Nominee

Yesterday was awesome, but last night I finally got to go to some parties. First was the Village Voice/Babeland party in a suite at the Venetian, and then a house party out in the desert somewhere, that promised to be a "stripper sideshow sex party." There was definitely a sideshow (more about that, and the dude on the left in a bit), but there were no strippers, and from what I could tell, no sex. Well, except for me fluffing this kid in the bathroom so that I could measure his peen with The Final Say. But we sorta got carried away and forgot all about that thing. My goal for the evening was to bang a porn star, and unfortch, that didn't happen. But this dude has an AVN Award nomination for Best Song in a Film (or whatever the formal title is), so I guess that's kinda close enough, for now. He ended up coming back to my hotel room with me, and lots of stuff went down...or up...or in and out. Whatever — let's start at the beginning... More »

6:30 PM on Fri Jan 11 2008
By Slut Machine
56,154 views, 216 comments

Latest by n/a: Slut Machine you are great!! And the only award that guy should be happy to have won was the bathroom tryst award! Lucky guy...so did he measure up? more »

vegas, baby

You Never Forget Your First Time: My Day At The Adult Entertainment Expo

Please know that from here on out, most links will be NSFW, as are the images after the jump.

So, I arrived in Vegas last night for the Adult Entertainment Expo taking place this week, and the AVN Adult Movie Awards on Saturday night. It's my first time attending the convention and the awards — I'm still a virgin at something! — and Jonno from Jezebel brother site Fleshbot has been showing me the ropes. Today we worked the floor of the convention, which is full of booths of porn production companies and sex toy companies, and introduced me to a bunch of industry people he knows, so it sorta felt like this was my debut and I'm like a porn society deb or something. I've been keeping my pants on — so far. It's still light out here, and tonight is my first party and opportunity to meet some porno dudes, so things will probably change rapidly within the next few hours. (Fingers crossed, legs open!) However, I've already seen tons of stuff on the biz side of things today.

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8:30 PM on Thu Jan 10 2008
By Slut Machine
29,059 views, 122 comments

Porn Ultimatums Ladies: Slut Machine here. I'm headed off to Las Vegas in a few hours, where I'll be attending the Adult Entertainment Expo and the AVN Awards (aka the Oscars of the porn industry; luckily there are no striking writers to worry about!). I'll be posting from there, and plan on getting you all the scoop on new sex toys, what porn stars are really like in person, and what kind of B-list celebs actually show up for this thing. I also have some fun surprises up my sleeve, so stay tuned to find out. Wish me luck! (Not for the casino, but for the bedroom...or bathroom stall, or back of the limo, or whatever.)

72 comments