• A photo has surfaced of Jessica Simpson out with Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins on Friday night. A source says they're "officially dating... she has fallen hard and is smitten."

• Another source says her posse isn't excited about her latest beau. "He's just another in an endless string of Jessica's boyfriends," says the source. "They think he's too old for her. No one takes any of her boyfriends seriously anymore because she has had so many. They're sick of all of them being 'the one.'" [E!]
• Elin Nordegren's mother, Barbro Holmberg, was identified as the woman rushed to the hospital from Tiger Woods' home this morning. She's at home now, resting comfortably. [Extra]
• TMZ obtained the dispatch notes from the 911 call from Tiger Woods' home today, which contain nothing interesting. [TMZ]
• According to a source at the hospital, Barbro Holmberg was suffering from stomach pains. [TNZ]
• Gatorade is shutting down production of Tiger Woods Focus Gatorade, but a rep insists, "We made the decision several months ago... our relationship with Tiger continues." [TMZ]
• Star claims Elin Nordegren confronted Tiger Woods' mistress Rachel Uchitel twice before Thanksgiving. A friend of Rachel's says, "Rachel denied she had an affair with Tiger, and told her, ‘I've walked your husband to a table at [a NYC night club] Griffin, made sure everything was OK, and that's the extent of our relationship. It's ridiculous and crazy that people are saying that I slept with him.'" The second time she told Rachel, "I know everything," then threw her cell phone at Tiger. [Star]
• According to the dispatch log from Tiger Woods' SUV crash, Tiger's agent called the Florida Highway Patrol on the day after the accident to reschedule a meeting because, "He's still too sore from the accident." [TMZ]
• Dennis Rodman weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal saying, "I think people expect me to do it, you know, it's just Dennis. But Tiger, that's a different story... People expect him to be this loving husband and this loving father, and this, you know, when you have that much money and that much power, of course all the hoodrats and everybody is just gonna come all out of the woodwork." [Ok]
• This article blames Alexa Ray Joel's alleged suicide attempt on her mother, Christie Brinkley. She had just come back from vacation with her mom and a source claims, "They have knock-down, drag-out fights regularly over issues relating to Billy Joel." A former family employee adds, "She would tell Alexa that her father was an alcoholic and that she had her father's genes and that she might be an alcoholic, too." [NY Post]
• Showbiz 411 insists that the Post story isn't true and points to an upbeat postcard from Turks and Caicos as proof that "Alexa had a great family holiday." Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley's ex-husband, may be the source of the negative stories. [Showbiz 411]
• Sources say Mickey Rourke will marry his 24-year-old Russian girlfriend Elena Kuletskaya in April. "They haven't booked a venue or made any solid plans. He just knows he wants to do it in April, and he's been asking what is involved in a traditional Russian wedding ceremony," says a source. [Daily Express]
• Though Elton John and his partner David Furnish are not allowed to adopt an HIV-positive Ukrainian toddler because the country does not recognize gay unions, they are working to make sure the boy and his brother "have the best health care, education and family options available to them." [AP]
• Madonna said she wound up giving her daughter Lourdes a bigger role in her "Celebration" music video because, "She's been doing rhythmic gymnastics for years and she's very flexible, she's a great dancer... it was one of those fluke things. We didn't intend for her to be in the video. We did intend for her to be in the part where she dresses up for the costumes, that we planned, but the other one where she was just dancing with the dancers... she's very friendly with the dancers and they kind of dragged her into it and you know, it was just a small little piece. It's great, she's a show girl." [Daily Express]
• Madonna says she doesn't know if her kids would rather have a "normal life," and "Anyways they don't have a choice, they're stuck with the mother they have and I think they realise there are pluses and minuses to it. I think sometimes they'd like to walk down the street and just feel like normal kids and that happens, and other times, you know, they get great bonuses and perks out of being my children and they know it and they're very grateful and appreciative for it." [Daily Express]
• Kate Gosselin says her kids are distraught over not being on TV anymore. Kate says: "They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day. I finally admitted to them, they kept asking, 'Where's the camera crew? Where's the camera crew? We miss them.' And I said, 'Our show is over.' ...Eight sobbing kids driving home from school." [Us]
• Kate Gosselin spent more than three hours serving food at a Raleigh, North Carolina restaurant as cameras filmed her. Her bodyguard Steve Neild told reporters to leave and said she was shooting a test segment for a future program. [WRAL]
• Pauly Shore is suing his brother and accusing him of elder abuse. Pauly claims their mother has been "rendered susceptible to unscrupulous behavior and other undue influence because of her condition," and says his brother improperly removed him from the board of directors as The Comedy Store in Hollywood. [Radar Online]
• Bryant Gumbel has lung cancer and had a malignant tumor removed from his chest last month. "We had told a few people, we told my family, obviously. I even kept it from my staff at Real Sports. So I'm okay for the time being," he said. "I'm hoping they greenlight me to play golf again." [People]
• Though former Geffen Records executive John Kalodner says Lenny Kravitz should take over for Steven Tyler in Aerosmith. Kravitz says, "As much as I am flattered that Aerosmith's camp would consider me to front the band, Steven Tyler is a family friend, and no voice could ever take the place of his. I hope the band stays together. They are classic." [Daily Express]
• David Guest just realized taking Michael Jackson's advice about cosmetic surgery was a bad idea. "I had surgery when I was very young and it was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Michael Jackson kept saying, 'You should have plastic surgery.' I got my nose done and he said, 'Do more, do more!' It was stupid," he said. "If I had my way, I'd go back to my original big nose with a bit of a hook in it. It looked great." [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal has been visiting Redmond O'Neal every week in rehab. "Redmond and Ryan are working on their relationship. Both of them are working towards a positive and healthy father and son relationship," says a source. [Radar Online]
• In the 911 call David Hasselhoff's daughter Hayley made on Thanksgiving weekend she says: "My dad just ... he's collapsed. He's standing up but he keeps falling back down ... But then he got back up and he's fine. It's kind of scaring me." [People]
• Nicole Kidman says she likes to focus on her health rather than how much she weighs. "As Keith's a musician there are pitstops at Wendy's" she says, "But I'm six-foot tall, so it's not weight that's an issue for me, but things like cholesterol." [People]
• In the 911 call made when Brittany Murphy's husband Simon Monjack was taken to the hospital from LAX last month, the caller says he "stopped breathing" but they "revived him." [TMZ]
• Bob Geldof attacked the U.K. family court for conducting "state-sanctioned kidnap" by holding closed custody hearings, adding: "In the near future the family law under which we endure will be seen as barbaric, criminally damaging, abusive, neglectful; harmful to society, the family, the parents and the children in whose name it purports to act." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand says it was easy for him to win over Katy Perry's parents because, ''They love the old school Englishness. There's a thing where the mom said 'Nothing's impossible', and I went, 'well, of course, Nelson Mandela said that everything is impossible until it's done', and she went, 'Oh', and she really enjoyed that... Obviously when I heard that my girlfriend had preacher parents, I thought, 'well, this has got a huge scope for disaster' but it's actually been quite good so far." [The Telegraph]
• Justin Bobby, Speidi, Kristin Cavallari, and Audrina Patridge will be back for The Hills sixth season according to an MTV spokesperson. [People]
• Mel Gibson's estranged wife Robyn Gibson has filed court papers requesting to see copies of his Directors Guild and Screen Actors Guild health and pension plans. [Radar Online]
• Travis Barker has settled his lawsuit against defendants over the plane crash he was injured in. [TMZ]
• Celine Dion says she's going to keep trying IVF even though it turned out she wasn't pregnant this summer. "We have a wonderful child, we're extremely happy," she said. "It's not like, 'Oh my god, she's not pregnant and she's depressed,' " she continues. "You know how it works. We are great. We hope for the best, we hope to get pregnant. If it happens, it happens." [People]
• Shakira says she owes her success to her parents taking her to the park to show her kids worse off than her on the day they declared bankruptcy. "That day I made myself a promise," she said. "I promised that I would someday succeed to vindicate my parents' social and economic position. But I also wanted to do something about those kids I saw so abandoned by the state, abandoned to their own luck, without any chances to change their destinies." [CNN]
• When asked how she got into character as the grandmother of a dead girl in The Lovely Bones, Susan Sarandon said, "I drank and smoked and partied down. No, I didn't do that. I think I probably had the easiest job of anyone, because I was going against all the really difficult feelings and trying to keep everybody moving forward and remembering to live and letting the light in, literally. Plus, I was always drinking and smoking, so I have lots of props - so it was actually pretty fun." [NY Magazine]
• Sigourney Weaver says of her new film Avatar, "You won't have seen anything like it. This film is going to change the way we look at movies. The whole movie is in 3-D, even normal scenes between two people. So you feel you're in the room with these characters. You're always in the best seat in the house." [The Telegraph]
• Of being called the "Bear Jew" in Inglourious Basterds, Eli Roth says, "Well it's funny because I've always been compared to some sort of animal. On Cabin Fever they called me hair director. On Hostel one of the Czech extras saw me in a tank top and casually referred to me as Gorilka" which is Slovak for gorilla. So from that point on, it was over. Everyone was always, "Where's Gorilka? We need Gorilka on set! There was a girl who nicknamed me wolfie, so I've always been compared to some sort of furry animal. So I just embraced it — and Bear Jew felt like the natural evolution." [N.Y. Post]
• Viggo Mortensen makes a good point about why we shouldn't underestimate Sarah Palin: "I think it would be unwise to dismiss her because she is foolish and misinformed. People say there's no way she will hold any significant office, in Congress, or as president. Don't be so sure. I notice she's starting to sound relatively eloquent in that superficial way she has: ‘We gotta cut taxes and we can't keep penalizing small business'-that same old litany. She's not saying anything significant but she's stringing the words together and she's not just saying, ‘Aw shucks, I just killed a moose in Alaska.' She's stringing the words together as well as George W. Bush did in the beginning... They realized they couldn't make [Bush] sound like somebody who actually read books and cared about how he sounded-even though he had the benefits of the best possible education. It just wasn't interesting to him to sound like he made sense and to speak English anywhere near well. But what they did, very cleverly, is say, OK, he's just like us. He makes mistakes when he says stuff; he's a regular guy. And I can see the same thing happening with Palin. So do not underestimate her ability. She's not going away." [The Daily Beast]

• Rihanna made fun of Tila Tequila on a radio show, so naturally, Tila's only option was to claim that Rihanna has herpes and declare that she's now on "Team Chris."

• In a long rant on her website, Tila wrote: "Since you're still cascading around town like you're a prefect little princess, angel…..honey I hate to burst your bubbles…..but yes….yo shit really do stink, and even worse…..yo shit has STD's, known as HERPES, down in your private area." She added, "NOTE TO CHRIS BROWN: I honestly think that you have paid your dues, and I'm definitely on TEAM CHRIS NOW! GO CHRIS! YOU CAN MAKE YOUR COMEBACK AND I FULLY SUPPORT YOU! You have admitted to what you did, and apologized numerous times, You have learned from your mistakes and I think people should really leave that in the past now and let you do your thing." It's an even classier move when you consider that Tila is suing Shawne Merriman over an alleged domestic violence incident. [ONTD]
• Four photos have surfaced of Tiger Woods' alleged mistress Jaimee Grubbs wearing only a thong. She took the photos herself with a cell phone in a bathroom mirror. [Radar Online]
• Jaimee Grubbs' ex-boyfriend Richard Palermo claims, "Jaimee sent naked pictures to me. She has an iPhone so she just takes them and emails them to me. She sent them to me roughly three months ago." There's a description of what she's doing in the pictures here, if you must know: [Radar Online]
• Perez Hilton claims that people are shopping nude pictures of Rachel Uchitel taken on a cell phone. He probably got her confused with Tiger's other mistress, though there being two sets of nude cell phone pics isn't all that unlikely. [Perez Hilton]
• Rachel Uchitel told friends she did drugs with Tiger Woods before they had sex. A source calims Rachel told her, "You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex." [Radar Online]
• Hugh Hefner weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal saying, "I think the only surprise in it, quite frankly, is that anybody would be surprised... If you're a good-looking guy and young and healthy, the notion that there would be something else going on, well, marriage is just a convenience. It's very nice for raising kids, but the notion that monogamy lasts forever is a wish!" Thanks, Hef. [E!]
• Jake Gyllenhaal referred to Reese Witherspoon as his girlfriend in an interview, sending all the tabloid reporters that insisted they had split up into a tizzy. "I've learned so much from the kids in my life, and somehow they just become the center of your life and the way you look at things," said Jake. "Obviously I exist in my girlfriend's world and my sister's world in a different way, but it's opened my heart and I feel much more grown up and want to be grown up as a result of it." [People]
• Tom Brokaw was involved in a fatal 3-car accident in New York today. Tom and his wife Meredith released a statement describing the crash that said: "Neither Tom nor Meredith were injured but tragically the driver of the SUV was thrown from her vehicle and killed. Tom and Meredith are greatly saddened by this loss of life." [TMZ]
• Rosie O'Donnell says she contacted Meredith Baxter after she came out earlier this week. "She's 62. She's the same age as Kelli's mother. When you think of that, that somebody at Kelli's mother's age came out... you know, that's big," said Rosie. "Good for her, man. Live your truth... Go in peace. It's not that hard. Fight the fear. Life in fear everyone's gonna find out you're gay... Have faith. Tell people it's going to be all right. The truth is the only way through." [Extra]
• A woman tried to serve Jennifer Aniston with papers requiring her to testify in a sexual harassment case against a Hollywood agent who has been accused of walking around naked in front of his former assistant and showing her woman-on-horse porn. Jen didn't take the document so the woman left it on her windshield and her bodyguards picked it up, which lawyers say still counts. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston's yoga instructor Mandy Ingber declared that her client has the perfect body. "Women look to her as the perfect blend," said Ingber. "She's very natural. Who has a better body than Jennifer Aniston?" [Extra]
• Though Star claimed the cops came to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's house in L.A. to break up their "worst fight ever," the police were actually responding to their burglar alarm accidentally going off. "We went out and checked to make sure it's a false alarm, and if it's false, we leave. That's basic protocol. That one was a real basic false alarm," says LAPD Sgt. Kyle Kirkman. [Us]
• A source insists the reports that Lindsay Lohan hooked up with Cash Warren, Jessica Alba's husband, are "totally untrue... the rumors are hurtful but they're just so ridiculous." [People]
• Miley Cyrus got a new tattoo of the words "Just Breathe" under her left boob. [Daily Mail]
• Newlyweds Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom got into a fight at a L.A. restaurant. "Lamar caused a huge scene," said a source. "He got jealous because Khloe was texting at the table and he yelled at her to quit it. She refused, so he stormed off and sat alone at the bar. Khloe just ignored him." Khloe's friend was running back and forth between the two of them trying to make peace "but Lamar kept just saying 'I'm not talking to her. Let her talk to her phone. She can be alone with her phone.' It was bad." Are they in middle school? [Radar Online]
• Hulk Hogan's girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel has been wearing a giant diamond ring and sources say they're engaged. [N.Y. Daily News]
• Glee star Cory Monteith says he isn't dating his co-star Lea Michele. "We're great friends," he said. "We've become really close over the show, but we're just friends. We're not dating." [CNN]
• Gisele Bundchen continued flying planes in her eight month of pregnancy, but now she's put off the exam she need to become a helicopter pilot until next year. "She has stopped with her lessons. She stopped before Thanksgiving," says the president of Shoreline Aviation, where she's taking classes. "She's waiting to have the baby and then she's going to start up when things settle down again." [People]
• LeAnn Rimes got into another car accident. This time she backed into a security golf cart in a parking lot. [TMZ]
• Maya Rudolph gave birth tho her second child with director Paul Thomas Anderson on November 6. The baby's name is Lucille. [People]
• The feud between Al Roker and Speidi will never end! In a new interview, Roker said they "haven't done anything and still haven't done anything" to earn the fame they have. Then referring to Heidi saying she wants to be like Mother Theresa he said, "I don't know, maybe I'm wrong and I missed something but I don't think Mother Theresa posed nude in Playboy. I think she was known for good work, helping the poor, healing the sick, not showing her ta-tas off." [Popeater]
• Audrina Patridge put her own show on hold and signed on for the sixth season of The Hills. [Perez Hilton]
• MTV told Italian groups not to judge Jersey Shore until they saw last night's premiere... and now they're really mad. A rep from UNICO National said the organization "can't keep up with the volume of calls" from "outraged" Italian Americans adding, "I suffered through all 120 mins of that show and it was worse than I imagined." [TMZ]
• The Order of the Sons of Italy in America and the National Italian American Foundation have also condemned the show, for using "ethnic slurs, violence and poor behavior to marginalize and stereotype Italian-Americans." [UPI]
• Domino's has pulled their ads from Jersey Shore because "The content of this particular program is not right for Domino's Pizza." [TMZ]
• Twisted Sister guitarist Eddie Ojeda is recovering after emergency back surgery to repair a ruptured disc that forced him to miss a concert near Philadelphia. [AP]
• Pamela Anderson is recording a pop single called "High" — about "high" fashion, not drugs. Her friend Richie Rich says, "Pam says she wants to sing, but nothing too difficult, so she's just going to sing the word 'high' over and over." [Us]
• Kate Hudson said when she took her 5-year-old son Ryder to the set of Nine, "It was the first time I saw him in shock, recognizing what it is that I do. I really think it was the first time it hit him." [People]
• Simon Cowell he has one regret: doing a cameo in Scary Movie 3. He said: "I'll never forget going to that premiere and dying in my seat when the movie came on. I've never felt so embarrassed in my life. Lesson learned: Don't believe that you're good at other things. I might be okay as a judge, but I'm a lousy actor." [EW]
• "I was 211 pounds when I delivered my son, so I know what it is like to be obese and fat and miserable," says Jenny McCarthy. "I'm 5'6 so it was a tough thing to carry around; losing it is something I'm very proud of." [Fox News]

Jayde unsubtly uses an engagement party as an appropriate place to pester Brody about where their relationship is going, and Brody maturely explains that it's not the right place. And then later he makes plans to dump her. What's with these young girls wanting to get married like there's a stipulation in their trust funds that requires marriage for them to get the money or something?


Spencer confronts Heidi (who was apparently waiting in the foyer for him to call her name?) about the pregnancy test he found. He actually sounds reasonable at the end of the talk, but then you remember that earlier in this episode he passive-aggressively hounded Heidi about this in front of a small child.


Aww, Justin (Bobby) has to pretend to like Kristin here. For the script!


Justin (Bobby) and Kristin enter into a mature, loving, communicative, all-the-way relationship...or whatever. Let's hope next season she cheats first.

• How do we feel about the fact that Miley Cyrus dressed as Julia Roberts' Pretty Woman hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold character for an '80s party to celebrate her 17th birthday Wednesday night? [Page Six]

• ANTM winner Nicole Fox had a "secret" meeting with Robert Pattinson… meaning, she ran into him backstage at Regis & Kelly. She says: "I was backstage going to the bathroom-in a bathroom I probably wasn't supposed to be using. But when I came out, [Pattinson] was in the hallway, like two feet away from me, [just] standing there. He was surrounded by his throng of people. And so I didn't want to feel like a dorky fangirl. I just looked down at my shoes and walked away." Of course Nicole admits: "I haven't seen the Twilight movies… Perhaps I will begin to watch [them] now that I saw him in real life." [E!]
• Madonna visited a "lawless favela" in Rio — and wore a bullet-proof vest under her leather jacket. Doesn't she know that music makes the people come together? Doesn't she know that music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebel? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's guard dog, Floyd, attacked a flight attendant on a private jet; and an animal behaviorist says the German Shepherd is a menace who needed counseling. [NY Daily News]
• Monday is the series finale of Jon & Kate Plus 8, and in the ep, the two "continue to make the transition into single parenthood." Kate takes the kids to milk a cow; Jon takes them to a fire station. [NY Daily News]
• MSNBC's Courtney Hazlett suggests that this Thanksgiving, we should be grateful for the end of Jon & Kate. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer says while the director is imprisoned in Switzerland, his wife and two children are "very upset psychologically by this separation that is a true heartbreak" for them. [MSNBC via AP]
• Tila Tequila says her naked Ustream rant — which has since been removed from the interwebs — was caused by "flashbacks" and "pressure" related to her allegedly violent incident with her ex, Shawne Merriman. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga is set to do some songs at this year's Royal Variety Performance — which is attended by the Queen. This column questions whether she will actually pretended to stab herself to death while playing the piano and then hang from the ceiling, covered in blood — when the Queen is watching. [Daily Mail]
• Remember when hip-hop had beef? Beanie Sigel and Jay-Z are bringing it back. [Gatecrasher]
• Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens — known in the tween mags as Zanessa — have not broken up, despite rumors. Things are going well, they are rich and young and sexy and happy, etc, etc, etc. [Us]
• Jon Gosselin's lawyer says Kate Major's lawsuit is a joke. Finally we agree on something! [Radar Online]
• Audrina Patridge from The Hills and Mark Sallin, aka Puck from Glee: Spotted flirting and leaving a party together. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Amber Rose spotted without Kanye. [Page Six]
• Kathy Hilton has been in touch with the Jacksons and says that Paris, Prince and Blanket are "wonderful" and their "grandmother is incredible" and they "could not be in better hands." [People]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate testified yesterday, saying that she was living in a West Virginia motel around the time a police chief allegedly broke into her home in Ohio. [NY Post]
• Fergie, the Duchess of York, went to Turkey last year with daughter Princess Eugenie to investigate the treatment of mentally and physically disabled children in orphanages. The Duchess wore a dark wig and headscarf and posed as an aid worker to get the story for a TV exposé; now she's been served papers and may have to stand trial in Turkey — she's is accused of breaking laws that ban secret filming and trespassing on government property in the country. [Mirror]
• Jordin Sparks had an appendectomy yesterday. [NY Post]
• Sigourney Weaver believes that the James Cameron film Avatar will make all the money back, because people will see it several times. She also says Cameron was "always sweet" to her during Aliens. [NY Mag]
• The Jonas Brothers are promoting Xbox 360 with Jonas-centric ads. [NY Times]
• "Do lesbians rule Hollywood? Ask Jane Lynch." [Guardian]
• This video of Hayden Panettiere is bukkake/facial-esque. [The Life Files]
• Ruh-roh: Eddie Cibrian is suing Life & Style, because the mag published stories which allegedly "falsely portray Eddie as being unfaithful to LeAnn Rimes, as currently being in a romantic relationship with [some other woman] and as having abandoned his children." Can they get out of the lawsuit if, at the end of each story, the copy reads, "Aoccirding to a source"? [TMZ]
• Sadie Frost is publishing her autobiography, which will probably have details about her BFF Kate Moss, the catty fashion world, and ex husband Jude Law. [Daily Express]
• When Jamie Cullum said that girlfriend Sophie Dahl "has a face for radio," he was probably joking. [Daily Express]
• Uma Thurman will play Robert Pattinson's wife in a film called Bel Ami, based on a Guy de Maupassant's short story. [The Hollywood Reported]
• James Van Der Beek has filed for divorce from his wife of six years. [USA Today]
• James Caan has filed for divorce from his wife of 14 years. [USA Today]
• At the link, Freddie Mercury's mother talks about her son eighteen years after his death. [BBC News]
• "I think probably the first thing that was an incredible hurdle was that I wasn't going to be able to do this privately like most people, and that took a really long time to get over." — Chaz Bono, on the hardest part of his sex change. [People]
• "She sent me sexy pictures of herself in a bikini and stuff, but nothing worse than the stuff you find now by just Googling her name." — one of Carrie Prejean's ex boyfriends — and not the one she sent the "solo sex tape" to. [E!]
• "It was scary, but it was so much fun. It was great seeing that we were all feeling the same way. There was a great support system on that set, all the actors with each other and with Rob [Marshall]. I had danced classical ballet before, so this was very different from what I had studied. We had a room in our building and we were all taking different classes. We would all pass each other in the hallway. All day, training. We all felt so free and so happy. Music was so present everywhere. That elevates people, music. It was so addictive, that experience." — Penelope Cruz on the six-week rehearsal period she, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman and Marion Cotillard had for Nine, in which they took dancing and singing lessons. [USA Today]
• "What people don't realize is, I am managing my image, more than maybe the editor of OUT magazine likes to give anybody credit for. My team is a team. And I really feel fortunate that 19 Management and Simon Fuller said to me, from the get-go, 'We want to do what you want to do. You need to tell us how you want to do things, what interests you have,' and they've been incredibly supportive of me. I really mean it. I'm not being puppeted around. I didn't want to jump onto a gay magazine as my first thing, because I feel like that's putting myself in a box and limiting myself. It was my desire to stay away from talking about certain political and civil rights issues because I'm not a politician. I'm an entertainer. That is not my area of expertise. I can talk about relationships and personal experiences because as an artist those things involve writing lyrics and that part of my process. But I didn't feel comfortable talking about the March on Washington. I didn't feel comfortable, so I asked my publicist to ask the interviewer to stay away from the political questions. I take full responsibility for that. I think that the editor has his agenda and has his opinions, which I respect, but they're not necessarily my opinions. And I wish there was a little respect for that. Not every gay man is the same gay man." — Adam Lambert. [EW]
• "I've never told anyone this before. This is a hair scoop. Shower before you go to bed, and then sleep on your wet hair. Towel-dry it. In the morning, it's all messed up naturally. If you have that messed-up thing going when you wake up, it's more willing to stay that way. That's Zac's hair tip." — Zac Efron. [Time]
• "[When I was younger] I wasn't confident in my sexuality but I had these thoughts, these desires and these passions inside me. I never knew how to exorcise them until probably the first time I had sex, and it was a great experience. I felt like, why should I be so hindered about this? [I thought about porn] …I thought, why should sex have to be dirty or scary? And if it is, why can't you turn that into a positive thing and work through that sensually and find something good out of that, something pleasurable." — Sasha Grey. [Telegraph]
• "I would not say that I lost faith in Twitter, I would say that I lost faith in my ability to negotiate it. I don't know about you but whenever I read a blog I do not let my eye drop below half the screen in case I accidentally hit the bit where the comments reside. Of all the stinking, sliding, scuttling, weird, entomological creatures that inhabit the floor of the internet those comments on blogs are the most unbearable, almost beyond imagining. Their resentment, their desire to be heard at the most vituperative level, at the most unpleasant and malevolent, genuinely ill-willed malevolent, level is terrifying and I am very often simply not able to cope with that. Twitter is usually not like that... [but] I found that the @ mentions were just getting... I could see these comments that would just make me upset." — Stephen Fry. [Guardian]
• "I've had some bad moments where I've woken up under a car with the engine still running." — Zach Galifianakis. [Page Six]
• "She wears really, really attractive underwear." — Bono on his wife. Well, not on. But maybe. [Gatecrasher]
• "They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy." — Tina Fey. [Page Six]

Of course, the doctor's appointment was really just a (fake) consultation, and Spencer didn't go through with it. What's the deal with his mustachioed friend Charlie? Why has he been cast in the Fred Mertz role?


Brody's girlfriend Jayde solidified her rep as a belligerent, violent shit-stirrer by rounding up her posse and getting in Kristin's face.


And now for fashion and chivalry with JustinBobby.


Are charm bracelets and Members Only jackets without shirts the new black?

• In her book Still Standing Carrie Prejean says, "I believed then and I believe now that marriage should be a legally recognized sacrament between a man and a woman. If that makes me a bigot, so is Barack Obama."

• She continues, "I was not then, nor am I now, aspiring to be the next Anita Bryant. I am comfortable with all God's children. Civil unions between gay people, at least as a matter of law, have always been fine with me. If asked, I would have told you that I believed that gay couples should have visiting rights in the hospital, just like everybody else." [Radar Online]
• In the book Carrie Prejean also accuses Donald Trump of dividing up Miss USA contestants based on their looks. "Carrie should be ashamed of herself," says Trump. "Certainly I would never do a thing like that, because it would be too hurtful. I don't stand the ones that are less attractive to one side, and the beautiful ones on the other side. It was total nonsense — it was fiction in her imagination... I don't even know how she came up with an idea like that." [Extra]
• Shanna Moakler has apologized for calling Khloe Kardashian a "donkey" on The Wendy Williams Show. "I feel really bad. I shouldn't have said it," she says. "It was just an off-the-cuff statement." [Us]
• Joel and Benji Madden walked out of an Australian radio interview because the hosts tried a stupid stunt to test whether one twin can sense what the other is feeling. Benji was blindfolded and Joel was handed a the picture of Britney Spears getting out of a car sans underwear. Joel said, "I think I'm pretty laid back dude, but you guys are getting on my nerves," and they left. [Perez Hilton]
• Britney Spears addressed the Australian lip-synching incident — sort of. "I hear there is a lot of controversy in the media about my show," said Brit in a statement. "Some reporters have said they love it and some don't. I came to Australia for my fans!" [People]
• Dina Lohan has spoken out about Michael Lohan's near-daily release of private phone conversations saying, "The tapes were from a long time ago, and for a father to stoop this low is unforgivable... My ex-husband has been in and out of jail for 10 years. My children and I gave him a chance to get to know them again, and he clearly blew that chance!" [E!]
• Joe and Katherine Jackson were fighting in court today. Joe is objecting to the two men named as executors of Michael Jackson's will, but Katherine's lawyer says he has no right to object since he was cut out of the will. Joe claims the will is a forgery. [TMZ, TMZ]
• At the Glamour women of the year awards Rihanna said she feels she has a responsibility to speak out for other victims of domestic violence. "I'm really a woman, a human being," she said. "I go through real situations that women all over the world go through every day. It's great to have the opportunity to be a voice for those women." [People]
• Rihanna says her new album helped her deal with her feelings about Chris Brown. "I got to vent because I didn't really talk a lot. I didn't talk to a lot of people about anything I was feeling. I just did it on the record." [USA Today]
• David Letterman's accused extortionist Robert Halderman asked a judge to dismiss the charges against him because he says he was trying to sell a screenplay to Letterman and the so-called extortion was just "a pure commercial transaction." [TMZ]
• While David Letterman made it sound like his affair with Stephanie Birkitt was long over, according to papers filed by Robert Halderman it continued "unabated" into this past summer. [TMZ]
• Ozzy and Jack Osbourne donated $4,500 to the Muncie, Indiana police department where Jack filmed the reality show Armed & Famous so they could buy a new police dog. [CBS News]
• Kelly Osbourne has lost 25 pounds on DWTS but it wasn't easy. "I'm fucking starving right now!" she says. [Us]
• Katy Perry introduced Russell Brand to her parents. "I've had the privilege of meeting Katy's family. I always get along with spiritual people," he says. "For me the things that happen on a higher level are more important than transient things." [Ok]
• Katy Perry wore a bustier and hot pants made from West Ham jerseys while hosting the MTV European Music Awards to impress Russell Brand. He Tweeted: "MY GIRLFRIEND has worn a West Ham basque while hosting the EMA's. What a day!" [People]
• Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis, her husband of eight years, have separated. [E!]
• Shaquille O'Neal's wife Shaunie has filed for a legal separation "with intent to divorce" citing irreconcilable differences. They have four minor children. [TMZ]
• Joss Stone has enraged anti-drug activists by saying, "Weed has been given this evil stamp, but how is it dangerous? It's going to make you laugh your arse off? You might go to sleep? I think alcohol is much more harmful. People beat the fuck out of each other on alcohol. But I don't smoke weed all day long. I live in Devon and hardly ever go to clubs. When I do, I'll drink three or four beers then move on to a vodka. I don't want to take all those horrible drugs. Although some sound fun, so I might dabble now and then!" [Daily Mail]
• Simon Cowell is the top-earning man on prime-time U.S. television with an estimated yearly income of $75 million. [Reuters]
• Levi Johnston says Sarah Palin "doesn't bother me ... Just because she ran for vice president and was governor of Alaska doesn't intimidate me... I wouldn't want her running my country." [ET]
• A judge has ruled that TLC can depose Kate Major in their lawsuit against Jon Gosselin. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin is counter suing TLC for $5 million. [Radar Online]
• On last night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8, Kate Gosselin looked back at a clip of a past show in which Jon Gosselin said to her, "When are you going to pull the stick out." Kate says: "Perhaps [that] was a sign of things to come." [Us]
• A judge has granted Jennifer Lopez a temporary restraining order barring her ex-husband Ojani Noa from releasing 11 hours of video taken during their honeymoon. [AP]
• Oprah Winfrey will air a rare interview with Stephenie Meyer on Friday. "Since I'm only doing one interview, better make it really, really big," wrote Meyer on her blog. [People]
• "These jeans are a few days old, but the top is probably fresh because it gets to the point where even I can't stand the air around me. I don't know, my personal hygiene – it's so disgusting!" — Robert Pattinson [Us]
• Katie Price is returning to the British version of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, making her the only celebrity to go to the jungle twice. [Daily Mail]
• First Kristin Cavallari dating Audrina Patridge's ex Justin Bobby and now she's dating Audrina's other ex, Tal Cooperman. "It's not for the show. They hit it off and have been hanging out off-camera," said a source. [People]
• Dave Grohl says he always knew Kurt Cobain would die young. "There are some people that you meet in life that you just know that they are not going to live to be a hundred years old. In some ways, you kind of prepare yourself emotionally for that to be a reality." [Daily Express]
• John Cusack says he agreed to star in 2012 because, "I just liked the script... I got offered it and it was definitely the A-plus version of these movies, as far as the kind of movie it was and the budget and the script. Usually these movies go to whoever the biggest box-office star in the world was, but Roland wanted me to do it and he's a very powerful director. It's not easy to get these roles. It would go to Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt, anybody who's the biggest box-office star." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Chiwetel Ejiefor says the paparazzi were ruthless with Angelina Jolie while they were filming Salt. "More so than other people, they were sort of everywhere, and there were a lot of paparazzi and stuff. But I think she handles it incredibly well. I don't really know how she does it, but definitely she is able to do the work but also be very gracious with them, and it's really quite interesting to watch," he said. [BlackBook Magazine]
• When asked if she ever craves meat now that she's vegan Alicia Silverstone said, "Craving is a complicated word... what craving actually is versus what you think you want. There are times that, if there is nothing else around...suddenly a cheese plate goes by, then sometimes I'll think 'Oh, I want some cheese.' But over the years, I've scratched that itch at different times, and I've come to realize that it's not better than anything else I'm eating." [WSJ]
• Jake Gyllenhaal says in his new film Prince of Persia, "There's a whole scene with ostriches in the movie and ... They're all real ostriches, highly paid, and we were all briefed on them for weeks before like 'They're these massive destructive creatures that can tear your heart out with their claws.' I swear to God I never thought of an ostrich this way! ... I walked up to it and one of my stuntmen was in the ring with them, and finally, I was like, "When am I going to be in a fucking cage with ostriches again in my life? I gotta get in here!" So I got in there and they were the sweetest things." [ONTD]
• In an interview about the season finale of Mad Men Matthew Weiner said there's no chance Betty and Don will reconcile. "It's so unambiguous to me that this marriage is over, but the audience seems to cling to the idea that they should be together because we want to believe in those things," he said. "The marriage was not good. It was built on a lie and the lie was exposed. In the end, Don coming clean really damaged his relationship with her, more than the lying, her seeing who he actually was." [Daily Beast]

Remember her? She was friends with Lauren in high school, and then, after Lauren gave her a diamond bracelet for her birthday, she boinked Brody, even though Lauren was sorta kinda dating him. That dramz was the first conflict that Lauren had with Spencer, since he set Jen and Brody up. So Jen was a catalyst in the whole Lauren/Spencer war. Well, not really a catalyst, since she actually changed a lot with the help of a colorist and plastic surgeon.


I have to say that the puppies that Spencer bought Heidi for her birthday are incredibly cute.


I love Lo's response to Audrina's bullshit drama.


I also love that JustinBobby claims to be super into Kristin, yet he thinks her name is Kirsten.

[Los Angeles, October 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• The LAPD has arrested four women in connection with break-ins at Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge's homes.

One of the women, 19-year-old Rachel J. Lee, may also be involved in last year's jewelry heist at Paris Hilton's house, and her team may have also targeted Orlando Bloom. Teen cat burglars? I smell a screenplay! [People, TMZ, TMZ]

• Meanwhile, Lindsay says it's okay for her 15-year-old sister to party because "She's tougher than I am." And: "She has a good head on her shoulders. Maybe it was different for me because I didn't know what to expect and it just happened really fast. I didn't have a big sister." [E!]
• A club that had banned Lindsay Lohan has allowed her back in. [Page Six]
• Word is Rosie O'Donnell's marriage is over for good and Kelli Carpenter actually moved out months ago. [Radar Online]
• Someone dared David Cross to snort coke at the White House Correspondents' Dinner (which was not held in the White House) so he did. "Maybe 40 feet from the president of the United States!" [Newser]
• The United States has officially asked Switzerland to hand over Roman Polanski to authorities in California. [AP]
• Katherine Jackson has changed lawyers in the Michael Jackson estate case. [USA Today]
• Kenny Ortega, the choreographer working with Michael Jackson on the This Is It tour, says he wanted MJ healthy: "Michael had sleepless nights and we had to look after him. [I'd say to him], 'Stay hydrated, have a protein shake - Did you eat today before you came?'" But Ortega doesn't believe rehearsals were wearing MJ down: "Working on this show was invigorating, was nourishing." [AP]
• Alex Rodriguez dabbled in Kabbalah when he was dating Madonna and now he's getting into Buddhism, thanks to Kate Hudson. [Gatecrasher]
• A source close to Balloon Mom Mayumi Heene says she is "totally subservient to Richard and the boys. Whatever they want, they get" And that Mayumi will "go down with the ship." [NY Daily News]
• A pharmacist testified in the Anna Nicole Smith case, saying that when he received a request for drugs from her doctor, he said: "This is crazy. This is pharmaceutical suicide. The dosages are way out of whack." And: "I said I wouldn't fill it, and no pharmacy in California would." [NY Daily News]
• Awesome: Jay-Z and Will Smith are backing Fela!. [NY Post]
• Matt Damon is dealing with a "serious" family emergency. Stay tuned. [E!]
• Denis Leary and his wife Ann have a house in the country with three dogs and two horses; they're profiled in the Times today and also, Ann blogs about their picturesque rural life. [NY Times]
• Pamela Anderson is living in a trailer because construction on her house in Malibu is not going as planned. She says: "I am $3million over budget and I should have moved in over a year ago. I'm tiling the whole pool in platinum - that's expensive!" She also claims: "I'm going to sell [the house]. I hate it. People commit suicide over constructions. Relationships break down over constructions and I can see why. It rips your heart out." [Daily Mail]
• Oliver Stone is using "his uptown friends" as extras in Wall Street 2. Authentic! [Page Six]
• At the link, the amazing Mira Nair — who directed Mississippi Masala, Monsoon Wedding, The Namesake and Reese Witherspoon's VanityFair, talks about her latest, Amelia: "So much about Amelia [Earhart] is so undeniably modern. If she were to walk into a room today in her jodhpurs and her aviation jackets, [with] her ideas about marriage or men and women, she would still be considered an iconoclast." [NPR]
• Is there a backlash against Precious? And is Oprah to blame? [LA Times]
• Vanessa Redgrave is doing a one-night-only performance of The Year Of Magical Thinking — which is based loosely on the Joan Didion memoir and about dealing with unexpected death — mere months after Redgrave's daughter Natasha Richardson died. [WSJ]
• In this video, Tom Green and Tony Hawk have lunch and Tom talks shit about his ex-wife, Drew Barrymore: He has opinions about her photoshoot with Ellen Page and her behavior during their marriage. [Shred Or Die]
• "Magic Johnson blames former friend Isiah Thomas for spreading rumors that Johnson was gay after he announced he had HIV in 1991." [Newser]
• Bronson Pinchot made some… intense statements about Tom Cruise's homophobia and Denzel Washington's unpleasant character, and at the link, he clarifies. [WSJ]
• Earlier this year, Spike Lee slammed Tyler Perry's sitcoms, saying, "I think there's a lot of stuff out today that is coonery and buffoonery. I'm scratching my head. We've got a black president. Are we going back?" Now Perry say: "You know, that pisses me off. It really does. Because it's so insulting. It's attitudes like that that make Hollywood think that these people do not exist and that's why there's no material speaking to them. I would love to read that to my fan base." [CBS News]
• RIP Soupy Sales. [Reuters, CNN]
• "If you took the top five of my CDs and just put 'em away and then you have children, 10 years later, you break these out and put 'em on… you'll be laughing. And your kids will be laughing. ou put The Cosby Show on - there won't be any cellphones and people might be wearing funny sweaters - but that same human behavior will still connect with people." — Bill Cosby, who will received the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor on Monday, and believes good comedy has no shelf life. He also says he doesn't watch TV anymore: "I'm not thrilled with the deliberate onslaught of the public by the major networks in terms of the sitcoms. They still don't get it about race. They still don't get it about gender. Jokes are still about jerks and body parts and sex." [USA Today]
• "I think women really responded to that initially." — Patricia Arquette, on what this column calls her "more womanly, post-childbirth frame" on Medium. She also says: "They'll bring me new outfits, and I'm like, 'No, I need to repeat those pajamas again. And again.'" And! "I'm not one for spending a lot of money on this show, but these people need a new comforter!" [Variety]
• "I cook OK — I cook every night, so every night is not great. I am really not that adept a cook as [Julia Child] was, especially with that rapid-fire knife. If I did that in my kitchen everybody would run because there would be a lot of blood probably." — Meryl Streep. [Mirror]
• "It depends on the kid.  There are parts of it that are pretty intense. When I was 7 years old, I could not have seen this movie.  It would've scared me.  But my younger brother, who's now 7, could've seen this a year ago.  It depends on the kid." — Max Records, who plays Max in Where The Wild Things Are, on whether the film is too scary for young children. [LA Times]
• "Motherfucker took me out of the ghetto. That's my dude, man. He's been like a dad to me. I remember when I was on Saturday Night Live my first year and I wasn't getting much. I was down; I was ready to quit. It was three o'clock in the morning, man, I'll never forget. Makes me want to cry sometimes when I think about it. I love that man. I love that man. [long pause; starts to cry] I'm sorry, man. Excuse me. [another long pause] Son of a bitch… motherfucker's good. I remember one time Lorne took me to his office, and he said, 'Tracy, you are here not because you're black. You're here because you're fucking funny, man.' [bursts into tears again; wipes face with shirt] Changed my whole perspective.... They say every Jewish man is supposed to love one black motherfucker in this life. I'm glad Lorne Michaels chose me." — Tracy Morgan hearts Lorne Michaels. [Playboy via NY Mgaazine]

• Kanye West new life of humility isn't off to a good start. Over the weekend at Common's benefit show in Hollywood he threw a fit when he wasn't offered food backstage and saw another man eating chicken.

• Kanye shouted, "Why wasn't I offered chicken? You want me to perform for free, [and] everyone is eating... why am I not eating?" When his chicken was delivered he took one bite and threw the rest in the trash. [Vibe]
• Lady Gaga says of Kanye West's incident at the VMAs, "He's a good guy and everybody makes mistakes, and he feels so fucking bad. He really does... Everyone likes to focus on gossip, but he's changed music and he's really prolific and an incredible person, and I think it's unfair to judge somebody on one mistake they've made. That moment really portrayed him in a way that he really isn't. It was just a random moment." [The Sun]
• Kate Gosselin went to the Stars, Stripes, & Skates charity ice skating event in Connecticut and her TLC crew freaked out when they realized Jill Zarin and Luann DeLesseps were also there filming RHONY for Bravo. Kate wasn't allowed to get in Bravo's shot and when Jill Zarin tried to introduce herself when the cameras weren't rolling, "It completely threw her off guard and Steve [Neild] stepped in between them, attempting to keep them apart." Later one of her other bodyguards blocked Nikki Blonsky, who was hosting the event, from getting on stage. [E!]
• Dennis Hopper was rushed to a hospital in New York earlier today. He arrived in an ambulance wearing an oxygen mask. [Ok]
• Roman Polanski is surviving on only five Swiss francs (about $5) a day in prison. He is allowed to spend them money on phone calls. He also has a cable television in his cell. Like other prisoners, he's allowed to earn more money by making cardboard boxes or envelopes. [Times of London]
• John Travolta testified again today in the Bahamian extortion trial, explaining that his employee Ronald Zupancic initially told him about the plot to release a document to "imply that the death of my son was intentional and I was culpable in some way." He says he never spoke to any of the defendants and all their demands were made through his lawyer. [TMZ]
• This is disturbing on so many levels: Spencer Pratt says he's refusing to have sex with wife Heidi Montag because he's afraid she'll go off her birth control without telling him. "I'm not even kidding, my wife – OK, I'm gonna get crass here – but we're barely having sex because I'm scared that she's gonna have a baby," he says. "That's the level our marriage is on right now. I'm not even kidding – my wife has me debating cutting off my nuts." [People]
• A judge has granted Audrina Patridge's request for a 3-year restraining order against Zachory Loring, whoc she claims is stalking her. The judge said the evidence against him was "quite disturbing" after Audrina read a creepy poem he's sent her. [TMZ]
• While leaving court Audrina said, "I feel safe now." [TMZ]
• Temple Hill Entertainment has acquired the rights to turn Lauren Conrad's book L.A. Candy into a movie. [Variety]
• Jason Wahler has been jailed in Seattle for assault and a minor drinking charge. A court official said, "He will serve 120 days in jail but could get out after 80 days for good behavior." [Radar Online]
• TMZ has obtained a recording of the walkie-talkie chatter among E! producers at Khloe Kardashian's wedding which reveals the whole things was elaborately staged, including the moment Khloe told Bruce Jenner she considers him her "real dad." [TMZ]
• Matt LeBlanc will star in a new show called Episodes as a satirical version of himself. The show will be jointly produced by the BBC and Showtime and is about a British couple whose hit comedy is reworked into an American show starring LeBlanc. He said he's glad he got the role because, "seeing someone else play Matt LeBlanc would have been devastating." [N.Y. Times]
• Lisa Kudrow and Courteney Cox were on stage at the Rock a Little Reed a Lot benefit concert for Feeding America on Tuesday when the audience began demanding she sing "Smelly Cat." Cox said, "Get her a guitar, people," and she performed the song. [People]
• Chynna Phillips is relaunching her music career as a member of the contemporary Christian duo Chynna and Vaughan. Her album launched on September 22, the day before her sister Mackenzie Phillips went on The Oprah Winfrey Show to reveal her incestuous relationship with their father. [People]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck will return to The View on October 19. [AP]
• For those concerned, when All My Children moves from New York to Los Angeles they will not lose Erica Kane. Though Susan Lucci says her life is in New York, she'll move to L.A. to stay with the show. [AP]
• Wu-Tang Clan's RZA is appealing a lawsuit brought by Ghostface Killah disputing his 50% share of the group's royalties. It was reported last week that Ghostface Killah had been awarded $158,000 but RZA says, "The judgment has not been entered yet, and we are appealing the case. I'm not appealing because I don't want to pay Ghost something that I owe him. Anything I owe him I would give him ... But he's with a group of people who to me have a misunderstanding of hip-hop and contracts." [The Guardian]
• Lisa Marie Presley is countersuing her former nanny who has accused her of forcing her to work without overtime because she says she broke her contract by posting pictures of Presley's twins on Facebook. [TMZ]
• Emmanuelle Béart says even though appearing in Mission: Impossible opened a lot of doors in Hollywood she decided to stick to return to France and stick to art films because: "'I was young. I wasn't ready. I had just had a baby and even though I liked the director, and Tom [Cruise] was very professional, I couldn't bear it. All the press junkets and the interviews… I came home to Paris and I never really wanted to go back." She says she regrets it, "In a way. But I am 46 now. It's not what I am about to do." [The Telegraph]
• Ricky Gervais says of people insulting him, "I love it and I don't know if that's because I've got no ego at all or such a big ego that nothing can hurt me. Someone insulting me makes me laugh." [The Mirror]
• Jon Hamm was spotted buying Mad Men DVDs in a Boston Borders. When approached by a fan he said, "You've got me in a dork moment,"and explained he was buying them as gifts. [ONTD]

[Los Angeles, September 18. Image via INFDaily.]

• Jay-Z is one of the few people still on Team Kanye after the VMA incident. "I think it was rude but the way they're treating him..." says Jay-Z. "He's on the cover of every paper. He didn't kill anybody..."

• Taylor Swift's handlers ended an interview on the MJ Morning Show because the DJ wouldn't stop asking her about Kanyegate. She's already briefly addressed the controversy, and then asked him to stop three times when he kept pressing her to say more. [TMZ]
• Nicholas Prugo, who was arrested for allegedly breaking into Lindsay Lohan's house, plead guilty to cocaine possession in February and entered an 18-month drug diversion program. He was also arrested last month on unknown charges. [TMZ]
• The LAPD has a second suspect in the Lindsay Lohan/Audrina Patridge robberies: Rachel Lee. Police identified her by looking at Nicholas Prugo's Facebook friends and matching them to the surveillance video. [TMZ]
• Last night on Chelsea Lately Jennifer Aniston made fun of New Jersey, where she filmed The Bounty saying, "What is with that smell?... You know when you drive from Manhattan, and there's that one area?" Now Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub, has invited Jen to tour of her state saying, "Why don't you see more of New Jersey before you say it smells? I would love to hang out with her. I hear she is really fabulous — but she really shouldn't say that... If you land in Newark and leave out of Newark, yeah, you will think NJ smells. But you can't judge it by one part. If it was so bad, I wouldn't be living here for 22 years." [Us]
• FYI: Brad Pitt has a "graying, growing billy-goat beard." [TMZ]
• Police have decided not to file hit-and-run charges against LeAnn Rimes for a minor accident that occurred last month when she was on her way to a rendez-vous with Eddie Cibrian. A LAPD spokeswoman says it was clear that Rimes didn't realized she'd hit the other car. [E!]
• Grounded Music is suing the Black Eyed Peas because they claim the song "Voodoo Doll" is a rip off of "Each One Teach One" by the group Groundation, which is on their label. [TMZ]
• Jessica Simpson is calling off the search for her dog Daisy. "They wanted to feel they gave it their best efforts. They felt chances were slim from the beginning. Apparently [coyotes] are quite an issue in that area," said a representative from the dog finding service Find Toto. "They were upset and hoping to find at least the remains to try and get some closure by this weekend." [E!]
• A shirtless Lego version of Iggy Pop is featured in the game Lego Rock Band. [USA Today]
• Though recent reports claimed Britney Spears propositioned male model Bekim Trenova at a casting session, sources in Brit's camp say the allegations are "completely false" and deny that she's been holding fake music video auditions to find a new boyfriend. [ONTD]
• Michelle Williams confirms in the new issue of Vogue that she and Spike Jonze have broken up saying, "The timing was impossible... I thought falling in love again was the only thing that was going to save me from the pain. This erroneous idea: It just makes things more complicated." [ONTD]
• Oprah's latest Book Club selection is Uwem Akpan's Say You're One of Them, "a collection of five short stories set in modern Africa and told from the perspective of children living amid war and famine." [N.Y. Magzine]
• In the new movie Precious, Mariah Carey sports dark circles under her eyes and a slight mustache. On today's Oprah she says she thought of her new look, "This is so ugly, man, I don't know what to do." [People]
• Yet another crazy person is suing Michael Jackson's estate, unless you believe Erle Bonner's claim that MJ stole his formulas for the "herpes cure, acne cures and arthritis cures." Bonner also claims ..."someone from the Jackson family came by my house and shot a 22 pistol in the air. They turned around in a neighbor's driveway and drove away." [TMZ]
• Jennifer Hudson says she's looking forward to seeing who her 1-month-old son, "becomes, who he takes after, what he decides to do, if he'll sing." [AP]
• Kate Gosselin guest hosted The View this morning and met Kathy Griffin. She said she saw Kathy's spoof Kate Is Enough: The Kate Gosselin Story and said, "I watched it online and I didn't know what to expect... I caught myself crackign up out loud. You're awesome." [Star]
• Kim Kardashian claimed that her pregnant sister Kourtney had been wearing Khloe's clothes, but Kourtney says, "That is absolutely not true and I told Kim that last night. I go, 'You know, I haven't one time worn Khloé's clothes since I have been pregnant,' and she was like 'I thought you have...I thought you said that; now that makes me look stupid.'" [E!]
• John Legend says it isn't his fault that he got a ticket for driving without his headlights on at night. He Tweeted: "Valet sabotaged me! didn't notice becuz the dashboard lites were on and usually I have my headlights on "auto" so they come on w the car. Valet turned them off. Oh well! More money for the California state treasury. I guess they need it." [TMZ]
• On Monday's Ellen DeGeneres Show Kelly Osbourne discusses her battle with drugs and alcohol saying, "My mom had been in a relationship with my father for years and years trying to get him sober. I was completely ashamed that I would have to go to her and now tell her that her daughter has issues as well... I felt like I let her down – but what I didn't realize was that if I would have went to her a long time ago, she would have helped me no matter what." [Perez Hilton]
• Sheryl Crow says her 2-year-old son Wyatt doesn't like it when she sings. "I want to sing to him, but right now he's like, 'Mommy, no! All done! All done!.. He's really into kids' music and is listening to a lot of Raffi. I think he thinks if I'm singing that I'm going to work," she says. [People]
• "I developed that (a fear of flying) when I turned 20. All of a sudden I got really afraid to get on airplanes. I had to come up with a way to deal with it because I didn't want to have panic attacks every time I get on a plane. I know for a fact it's not in my destiny to die listening to a Britney Spears album, so I always put that on in my (headphones) when I'm flying because I know it wont crash if I've got Britney on." — Megan Fox [Hollywood Rag]
• Anna Faris says after her first marriage ended in 2007 she had a meltdown. She explains: "I tend to be a serial monogamist. But the next thing you know, I'm single and living in an apartment full of potato chips, mustard and tons of beer. I wore this grubby Garfield t-shirt and these baggy jeans all the time. Personal hygiene? Nah. I would talk to my cat, I was drunk all the time. I would go to bars alone. I would talk to guys and be like, 'Sooo, what's your story? You wanna go out?' If they turned me down, I'd be like, 'So, what's your friend like?' It was a very selfish time in my life but also strangely liberating. I felt weirdly empowered." [Hollywood Rag]
• Carrie Fisher found a blog post in which someone said she used to be hot but now she looks like Elton John. She responded on her blog writing, "You see, I was hot when most people are hot— in my fucking 20's & part of my 30's……THEN, in an effort to imitate humans, I had a child &, to further maintain my life like disguise, I took medications for about 9 thousand years, &, despite all my efforts, I continued to get older & older—inadvertently, I assure you——I tried to arrest my development physically as WELL as emotionally, but unfortunately without as much success. I also must confess that I ate food. I'm sorry….. I realize that I promised never to eat anything but lettuce & sun flower seeds, but tragically, I was unable to keep my promise." [Perez Hilton]

• Someone's been arrested in the Lindsay Lohan home burglary case — and it's not Lindsay Lohan!

Nicholas Prugo, 18, was arrested Thursday in connection with two break-ins: Lindsay's house and Audrina Patridge's house. Dina Lohan says: "Yes, we have found him, God is good." Man, we were sold on that In Touch story alleging that Lindsay robbed herself. [People, TMZ, TMZ]

• Lisa Ling will return to The View as a guest host on October 5. [ONTD]
• Elton John, who was branded "unsuitable" to adopt a Ukranian toddler because he's gay and old, may be able to be the kid's "guardian," which means the mother retains parental rights. The child is not an orphan, though he lives in a children's home; his brother lives there, too. [Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson's family thinks the This Is It movie is propaganda, to back AEG's claims that he was fit and healthy and ready to tour. [Page Six]
• Sad face: They're calling off the search for Jessica Simpson's dog, last seen in the jaws of a coyote. [TMZ]
• Halle Berry: Not pregnant, just full of burgers. [People]
• Although how Halle Berry could be full of burgers and get in to that dress is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, with special sauce, lettuce and cheese. [Daily Mail]
• BREAKING: Amy Winehouse had a lovely evening out with a "mystery man." [The Star, Mirror]
• Mystery solved: The dude Amy Winehouse was with is former flame Tyler James. A fan asked her for a kiss and she said, "Sorry, I'm with my boyfriend." [Daily Mail]
• While Chris Brown is doing his community service, he has three off-duty cops watching over him as a security team. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Garner is a prankster on movie sets. [Gatecrasher]
• Jennifer Lopez wore a dress by Victoria Beckham to the White House and it was… fitted. [Daily Mail]
• Avril Lavigne's marriage is really over. She posted a message on her blog which reads: "Deryck and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together… I admire Deryck and have a great amount of respect for him. Deryck and I are separating and moving forward on a positive note." [TMZ]
• Kanye West has been invited to the next Friars Club roast. [Page Six]
• Kanye West has been nominated for 9 BET awards. Will he show up? [NY Daily News]
• Kate Gosselin will be shooting the pilot for her new TV show with Paula Deen this weekend. The idea is to have several hosts, like The View, and comedian Sandra Bernhard and Tammy Lynn Michaels have both been considered for the job. [Radar]
• Paula Abdul told a radio DJ that she's going to be producing a show in Las Vegas and is also working on a project with the Laker Girls. [Eva Amurri, strip down for Californication, by all means, click the link. [Daily Mail]
• Samantha Burke, the lady impregnated by Jude Law, is possibly getting £120,000 from a magazine for pictures when the baby is born. [ Daily Mail]
• Someone showed the nuns at Sacred Heart girls school in New York video of Lady Gaga on stage bleeding; she is an alumna of the school. The nuns were not amused. [Page Six]
• Khloe Kardashian and NBA star Lamar Odom: Getting married. They've been "talking about rings." [E!]
• Is Anna Kournikova pregnant? Rumor has it she's carrying the spawn of Enrique Iglesias. [Gatecrasher]
• Ivanka Trump is keeping it classy and not selling wedding pictures, just releasing a single one. [Page Six]
• A man has been arrested for assaulting a security guard who tried to stop him from getting in a car with Ryan Seacrest. [AP]
• Clint Eastwood and Matt Damon just worked together on Invictus, and they will team up again for Hereafter, a thriller from Peter Morgan, who wrote Frost/Nixon and The Queen. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• A journalist asked Spike Lee if Do The Right Thing would get made today. "It would be very hard to make a film like this today," Lee said. "Not because the subject is irrelevant. I don't think the studios would do this. I have to thank Tom Pollock who was running Universal Pictures at the time. He put the weight of the studio behind me for this film and supported me, even when people wanted to waver and divorce themselves from the film." [Independent]
• "Of The Infernal Comedy: Confessions of a Serial Killer, the opera about the prostitute-mauling Jack Unterweger, that opened this year in Vienna and will tour in Europe and Canada next summer, John Malkovich says: 'It's actually a comedy.'" [The Daily Beast]
• Anna Nicole Smith is no longer with us, but she owes the State of California $43,280.66 in back taxes. [TMZ]
• The battle at the box office this weekend will be family-friendly Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs versus horror send-up Jennifer's Body versus the crappy-looking Love Happens with Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart. Odds are, Meatballs will win. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Perry is pissed that Aerosmith had to cancel their summer tour because of Steven Tyler's injuries. "I haven't talked to him in over five weeks. I don't know what's going on with him," Perry says. "All I know is he's got to get his act together. I mean, he and I haven't written a song together alone in the same room in over ten years, so there's been some changes in paradigm of what Aerosmith is." [AP]
• The director of The Cove, an award-winning documentary about Japan's dolphin slaughter, plans to attend a screening at the Tokyo film festival even though he could be arrested. [AP]
• "Miley Cyrus, Kelly Clarkson, Jordin Sparks lack power to carry 'Divas' label at VH1 concert… No matter the age, it seems, all one needs to be a diva in the land of VH1 is to miss a Y chromosome." [NY Daily News]
• RIP Guiding Light. [NY Post]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has been questioned by cops over her claims that she was raped by a celebrity. [Daily Mail, The Sun, The Sun ]
• Blind items! "With their partners away, celebs have been using Fashion Week as an opportunity to play! Which two pop stars made sweet music on Sunday night after the gal gave the guy a private lap dance? Hope his longtime girlfriend doesn't find out ... Which supermodel mended her recently broken heart over the weekend with the very-engaged bassist of a hot rock band?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q: When you auditioned for The Late Late Show, the producers told you that they loved the way you actually held conversations with the guests. A: "Yeah, apparently no one does that anymore. Instead, publicists work out what we'll say and who's gonna ask what. I'll ask you, 'Oh you bought a house?' And you say, 'Yeah I just moved and I got a dog.' And I'll say 'Tell me about the dog, is it named Spunky?' And you'll say 'Yeah, Spunky!' I don't do that." — Craig Ferguson. [Time]
• "It's pretty sad. She should have watched it more closely, though. She should have been more careful." — Martha Stewart, on Jessica Simpson's coyote-snatched dog. [Page Six]
• "Have you been in a Kmart lately? It is not the nicest place to shop." — Martha Stewart, whose products were sold at Kmart but will now be at Macy's and Home Depot. [ONTD via Daily Finance]
• "They took a beautiful man and put poison in his body. Why couldn't they have built him up nutritionally and got ten rid of the toxins? …I hate to be this controversial … but I have to speak out." — Suzanne Somers on Patrick Swayze. [Page Six]
• "I think that the music itself is very, very fun for the most part. I have a few more ballady, emotional songs. But lyrically, it's a little more docile - the music is very fun. I guess it's dance music - it's electro-driven but it's still soft." — Leighton Meester, on her new album. [ONTD]
• "When I read the pilot script, I thought, 'What a fun part this would be to play. How fun would this be?' But then all of these people said, 'It's perfect! You're perfect for it!' [My character] Jeff is a liar and a jerk. What am I supposed to say to that? 'Yeah, I guess so! Awesome!' It really makes me go, 'Wait, what do you mean?'" — Joel McHale on new show Community. [LA Times]
• "It's really, really awkward - any time you do a kissing scene or a love scene it's awkward but especially with this one. Neither one of us wanted to do it and we were both terrified but when you do scenes like that it's not at all sensual or sexy. You're in a room and it's full of these middle-aged crew guys who are like eating their sunflower seeds waiting for you to get it right so they can go home to their kids. They just don't want to be there." — Megan Fox on her kiss with Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body. [Mirror]
• "The Office is not one of those things you move away from. I don't want it to go away." — John Krasinski. [Guardian]

• The San Diego District Attorney's office has closed Tila Tequila's case against San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman, stating that "there is insufficient evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that any crime was committed." [TMZ]

• Tequila's rep begs to differ: "Tila Tequila is the victim of a violent crime. The San Diego District Attorney's decision not to press charges against Shawne Merriman for the battering of Tila Tequila demonstrates an unconscionable negligence in the discharging of their public duties. We strongly feel that justice has not been served in this matter." Her rep also claims that Tequila plans to file a civil suit against Merriman. [E!]
• Lindsay Lohan says that when she was younger, she wanted to be like Britney Spears: "I think I always kind of aspired to be like Britney Spears in the tabloids when I was in middle school," she says, "It's kind of something you sign up for in the beginning and if you really want it, you know that comes with it." [TheSun]
• Former WWE wrestler Jeff Hardy has been arrested and charged with felony drug trafficking. [TheSun]
• "I love going to the Playboy Mansion party with my boyfriend. Last year, we got dressed up as dead foppish Brits with topcoats and white contact lenses. These naked girls on Ecstasy kept coming up to us, like, 'We love your contacts.' We'd twirl around and say, 'Well, we like your breasts!'"-Neil Patrick Harris [ONTD]
• Matt Damon's daughter, Alexia, got a kick out of her father's 30 pound weight gain for his role in The Informant: "She had fun with it by squeezing all the soft squishy parts and called me 'Fatty Matty,'" Damon says. [People]
• Levi Johnson is definitely going to drop his pants for Playgirl, but reportedly can't decide if he wants to show "the front or the back." [TMZ]
• A collection of 10 Andy Warhol silkscreens, all of famous athletes, has been stolen. [Yahoo]
• Audrina Patridge has filed a restraining order against an "overzealous male fan." [TMZ]
• When Nicky Hilton was asked if she was glad that her sister, Paris reunited with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, she replied: "Ummm...no." She later said she was kidding, though. [E!]
• Katherine Heigl says her husband, Josh Kelley has always been supportive of her desire to adopt a child: ""I just wanted to make sure that I was marrying a guy who understood that that was going to have to happen," she says, "So about a year ago is when we said, 'OK, let's start the process,' and the process is intense. It's different but it isn't, do you know what I mean? It's just as intense I'm sure to have a baby biologically because you're going through the whole physical sort of thing of it." [Radar]
• Tom Brady has confirmed that he will be a father again: his wife, Gisele Bundchen is due in December. [People]
• Susan Boyle reportedly broke down in tears when she heard her album for the first time. "I think at the point where she didn't win, she was afraid everything would be taken away from her and she was going to go back to that little house," Simon Cowell says, "She didn't want to go back to that life." [ShowbizSpy]
• "As a model it is normal to be taking your clothes off all the time. I wouldn't think I was ever too old to do something like that. I mean, maybe if I was 60 or 70, then yes, I'd stop doing nude shoots, but then it depends who's asking."-Claudia Schiffer [DailyExpress]
• Amy Winehouse has agreed to sing at a Greek wedding tonight for £20,000. [TheSun]
• Meryl Streep says she's "exhausted" from making seven movies in two and a half years, and plans to slow down a bit: "I haven't ever considered giving up acting," she says, "but I do need enforced rest in my career. When each of my children was born I took a year off. It is very nice to have time to live, gather experiences and watch other people." [ShowbizSpy]
• Chace Crawford and Bar Refaeli were spotted dancing together in NYC last night: ""At one point, Bar reached down and grabbed Chace's backside," says a source, "They were very affectionate with each other." [JustJared]
• "I don't like boys who are mean to their mommies. That's a real turn off for me. And I don't like boys who aren't chivalrous. To me, not being respectful is a big deal.""-Megan Fox [ShowbizSpy]
• "No, I wouldn't call myself a feminist at all, really. I don't know what a feminist is. I believe in women having a say."-Dame Judi Dench [Guardian]

Sorority Row is a generic low-budget horror film with plenty of shrieking, scantily-clad college women. In fact, the filmmakers didn't even bother to come up with an original script. The credits say it's based on the screenplay Seven Sisters, without mentioning that the script was already made into the 1983 movie The House on Sorority Row. In the film, which opens today, Megan (Audrina Patridge)'s boyfriend cheats on her and her sorority sisters, including their bitchy leader Jessica (Leah Pipes), nerdy Ellie (Rumer Willis), and token minority Claire (Jamie Chung), decide to get back at him by making him think he killed her. The hoax goes awry and she actually does die, so they dump her body and agree never to speak of it again. However, a year later they get a text from Megan and a killer in a graduation robe starts stalking them.

The nicest thing critics had to say about the film is that it isn't as bad as you might expect. They said the film had a few good one-liners, but the jokes don't start at all until halfway through the film. It seems the filmmakers couldn't decide whether to frighten audiences or make them laugh at how cheesy it is, so the sudden burst of humor seems out of place. Either way, one sister telling Chung's character she likes having her around because, "It makes me multi-cultural without having to do anything," doesn't seem all that funny. Nor can we appreciate Chung defending "roofie sex," saying, "You get laid and you get a good night's sleep."

Below, we take a look at what the critics (who could manage to get their hands on a copy) are saying about Sorority Row:

The Kansas City Star

Why didn't Summit Entertainment show it to critics? Hollywood has realized even positive reviews can't help exploitation efforts like this one.

The Guardian

Sisters are doing it for themselves in this jolly college horror flick – if by "it" you mean horrible slaughter and softcore nudity. Much of the plot and characterisation can be gleaned from a quick scan of the cast list: among these are "Bra-Clad Sister", "Trampoline Sister", "Already Drunk Sister", "Over-It Sister", as well as "Amazed Senior Guy" and "Nerdy Underclassman".

Entertainment Weekly

Snaps to Carrie Fisher for being a good sport, as the sorority's badass house mom, but don't rush the theater: The tedious flick offers little more than a few scares, and plenty of boobs. And we're not just talking about the cast.

The Boston Herald

Brain-dead as to motivation, plotting or common sense, [director] Stewart Hendler's Sorority Row scores where it counts: The carnage escalates, nicely tinged with black humor. Acting honors go to Leah Pipes' blond queen bee Jessica, who rules this roost but not her beau, the son of a senator (a colorless Matt Lanter). Pipes is a scary parody of Reese Witherspoon's Tracy Flick in Election, focused on just one thing: herself.

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

It's difficult to laugh at Sorority Row early on as the characters put their least likable traits forward. Jessica enjoys having Claire as a friend because, she says, "It makes me multi-cultural without having to do anything." Chugs defends "roofie sex," saying, "You get laid andyou get a good night's sleep." Later in the film, humor comes out more regularly, mostly thanks to rhymes-with-witch Jessica, who gets the best toss-away lines of dialogue and even takes a break from avoiding slaughter to get into a cat fight with a rival for her boyfriend's affections. As Jessica, Pipes seems to be having the most fun, but it's telling that there are few differences in the cast members' performances between early scenes when they pretend to act upset and later in the film when they're supposed to actually be terrified.

Time Out London

Sorority Row isn't as completely dire as its pedigree suggests: the script contains a few nicely barbed one-liners, while Stewart Hendler's relatively tasteful handling of the death scenes results in a few throat-grabbing shocks. And, to its credit, the movie never attempts to present its self-serving central characters as anything other than repellent, devious over-privileged monsters. But it also never delivers a decent reason for us to spend 101 minutes in their company, resulting in a shallow, occasionally diverting but largely irrelevant horror throwback.

Variety

Like the recent Drag Me to Hell, Sorority Row is fixated on oral punishment (bottles, flares). But unlike Sam Raimi's roller coaster, the script never successfully balances horror with comedy: The first half goes for the straight slice-and-dice approach, but around the halfway point, ham-fisted gallows humor suddenly — and by now inappropriately — begins to flow freely. Even Carrie Fisher's scenes as the stern, gun-totin' sorority mother (echoing her cameo in The Blues Brothers) can't choose between laughs or action.

Empire

With its endless party-hearty babble, ridiculous whodunit plot, gruesome but brief death scenes, a few funny lines (nasty sister Leah Pipes steals the show) and a bizarre Carrie Fisher-with-a-shotgun cameo, it's all slash and no stalk - a relentless series of payoffs without any build-up. A useful working definition of mindless entertainment, down to laughably gratuitous nudity, it only just scrapes a passing grade.

IGN

On a technical level, Sorority Row could be used as an example for why night exterior scenes shouldn't be shot on digital. All of the scenes set at the mine look awful; they're grainy, blurry, shifting in and out of focus like a home movie shot on an old camcorder rather than a feature film made by professionals. This hit-and-miss digital cinematography pulls the viewer right out of the movie. But what the film suffers from most is an identity crisis. Sorority Rowis never quite sure if it wants you to laugh with it or at it. The horror-comedy hybrid is perhaps the trickiest genre mash-up to get right; are you making a horror film with some moments of humor, or a comedy with some horror in it? It's the difference between Screamand Scary Movie, and a reason why so many horror-comedies don't succeed artistically or commercially. In the case of Sorority Row, one gets the distinct feeling that the filmmakers were trying to make a horror film with some comic relief in it ... until they got into the editing room, saw just how goofy their movie was, and tried to salvage it by embracing its inherent ridiculousness. But I'm just speculating.

The Orlando Sentinel

The ending of Sorority Row is bad — cheesy, worn-out, seen it in 78 horror movies before. It's almost awful enough to make you forget that the movie that came before it is — as R-rated youth-horror films go — kind of fun. It's all cheese, but at least this cheese, for the most part, doesn't stink.

• Emma Watson has arrived at Brown University… And so have the paparazzi:

That's why there are these pix of her super-casual and hanging with other students on the quad of the Rhode Island campus. [Daily Mail]

• Following reports of an assault, San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman says he did not hurt Tila Tequila and was only trying to restrain her from leaving his home while she was drunk. Merriman's statement reads: "I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided." But Tila called 911 and she signed a citizen's arrest form alleging that Merriman choked and restrained her. [LA Times]
• Tila Tequila's Twitter feed has more than 243,000 followers, and following the incident, she tweeted that she was safe at home and thanked fans for their concern. But she added: "I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila 'Tequila' cuz the irony. I can't drink." Which seems to dispute Shawne Merriman's take on the incident. Later she tweeted: "I am only 93 pounds and 4'ft 11...." [CNN, TMZ]
• Shawne Merriman's lawyer says other people were in the house at the time of the incident and "witness after witness after witness will back up his story 100 percent." [CNN]
• Shawne Merriman says of his alleged assault on Tila Tequila: "We would all do our best to help a friend if we considered their actions to be detrimental to their personal safety. I'm still glad I did what I did." [NY Post]
• Lindsay Lohan is such a big True Blood fan that she posted this picture of herself wearing a studded choker and vampire fangs on her Twitter with the words "my dream." Is she trying to audition? [NY Daily News]
• Tyra Banks is talking about her decision to appear without a weave or extensions on Tomorrow's episode of her show: "I feel like it's my responsibility. I've shown myself with no makeup, cellulite on my butt, untouched photos of myself, but I haven't really shown my hair.
  "It's a mystery. People are like, 'Does she have any hair?' Young girls come up to me all the time and say, 'I want to look like you, be like you.' I want to show them what I really look like." [Digital Spy via Entertainment Tonight]
• More from Tyra: "It's just me coming straight out of the shower with wet hair. My hairdresser's going to do my hair live on stage." Tyra is also launching an online "magazine," Tyra: Beauty Inside & Out. "I'm really interested in helping women take control of their futures, take control of their destiny. One of my lines in my manifesto on the Web site is to be the CEO of your own life, be in control of your own life," she says. [AP]
• Tyra made Perez Hilton promise he wouldn't mock celebrities under the age of 18, and in return she invited him to be a guest judge on ANTM. A few days later, Perez mocked 15-year-old Tallulah Willis. [Gatecrasher]
• Lady Gaga was doing lots of coke when her dad gave her a talking to: "My father is a really powerful man, a telecom guy. So he looked at me one day and said, 'You're fuckin' up, kid.' And I looked at him and thought, 'How does he know that I'm high right now?' And he never said a word about the drugs, not one word. But he said, 'I just wanna tell you that anyone you meet while you're like this, and any friend that you make in the future while you are with this thing, you will lose.' And we never talked about it again." [Daily Mail]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: Reunited and it feels so good? [Telegraph]
• Dr. Oz is leaving Oprah Winfrey for his own talk show. Junk food is banned backstage and his show will focus on health "hot topics" like weight loss and swine flu. "There is no question we can save lives every day if we can motivate people to do what we're talking about. The challenge isn't what to say - because we know that - the challenge is how to say it so people are motivated." [AP]
• Plots near Michael Jackson's final resting place at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale have gone up $2,000 to $3,000 each; one person who owns a unit near MJ"s crypt is asking $34,000 for a double unit inside Jackson's mausoleum. Can't take it with you. [TMZ]
• Randy Jackson says that a helicopter "severely disrupted" Michael Jackson's funeral. [NY Daily News]
• Ralph Fiennes presented Vanessa Redgrave — Natasha Richardson's mother — with a lifetime achievement gong at the Harper's Bazaar magazine's Women Of The Year Awards, saying he had a "great friendship" with Richardson and calling Redgrave a woman of "truth, of loyalty, of integrity, of passion, of compassion." [Mirror]
• Singer Leona Lewis' cousin Adrian Henry, who has a previous conviction for rape, has just been sentenced to six years for robbing a "hard working family." [Daily Mail]
• Mischa Barton: Spotted outside of a gym with a bag of McDonald's, talking to someone who looked like a trainer and saying, "Do I have to?" [Gatecrasher]
• Jon Gosselin's "family day" was interrupted by an ambulance visit: His grandmother fell in his driveway. She'll be fine. (Those of us sick of Gosselin updates, on the other hand…) [E!]
• Jon Gosselin was convinced that Kate Gosselin was hiding a large sum of money in a "secret trust." His attorney gave her a deadline to reveal where the money is, and she complied: The cash is currently in a trust for the children's future. [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin on Kate Gosselin: "I don't trust her anymore. I was abused ... I was beaten down ... I'm not going back to that life style." And! "In 10 years, I've never gone out... When she said, 'I don't want you going out,' I ... I used to say, 'OK, I'm not going to go out.' I was very passive. This is the first time I said, 'You know what? I want to see my friends. I'm going out. That was the first time in my life I ever stood up to Kate... I just felt like I had to take back some time in my life, and I did it. And I felt really good. I made my own decision... I was beaten down for so long, I couldn't even make my own decision. And when I did, I was like, holy cow! You know? Yeah, what's she gonna do? Divorce me? All right. Obviously. You know." Plus: "My mom and my brothers, they say to me, 'It's so good to have the real Jon back. It's so good to have the warm, loving, kind, caring person that we knew you when you were ... before you got married.' I've changed for her. Because I loved her ... But don't forget who you are. That's what happened to me." More from his Good Morning America interview with Chris Cuomo at the link. [Us Magazine]
• Jon Gosselin: "I can't sit on the sofa with that woman. I can't sit on someone right now that I despise." [GMA/ABC News]
• The tattoo parlor in New York where Rihanna inked a few people (her tattoo artist, BangBang, and his coworkers) has been fined for "operating with an unlicensed tattoo artist on site." [NY Daily News]
• Remember the fight between Joe Francis and Brody Jenner a couple of weeks ago? Joe was allegedly harassing former girlfriend Abbey Wilson when Brody and Jayde Nicole intervened. The latest is that afterward, Joe sent moving trucks over to Abbey's house to take her furniture away; he felt if she was going to lie about the incident, he wasn't going to let her keep anything he'd ever bought her. [TMZ]
• Joe Francis is being sued by a construction company for money owed for work on his Bel Air home. [TMZ]
• Joy Behar's new talk show debuts on HLN September 29, and the network formerly known as CNN Headline News is becoming incredibly lady-friendly. Joy's show is at 9pm, and she's followed by Jane Velez-Mitchell and Nancy Grace. [AP]
• How did Matt Damon gain 30 pounds for his role in The Informant? "I just ate everything I could see." More specifically: "I started eating like crazy and drinking dark beer. Between meals on set, I'd eat a No. 1 Value Meal at McDonald's and then Doritos on top of it. It was absolute heaven… Now I'm the Sexiest Man Alive's chunky cousin." [Daily Mail]
• Teri Hatcher is training for a triathalon. [People]
• Whoa: Sean Penn was spotted with Sports Illustrated swimsuit (and bodypaint) model Jessica White?!?! [Page Six]
• Rave reviews for Mo'Nique's performance in Precious! Forbes.com media critic Bill McCuddy says: "She doesn't steal the film — she kicks, screams and pummels it into an Oscar no-brainer." Trailer here. [Page Six]
• Taylor Momsen's band, Pretty Reckless, will play a Teen Vogue party tonight. [Page Six]
• Kourtney Kardashian's boyfriend has adjusted to her mood swings, so you can all just relax. [People]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Eric Dane put his hand on Rebecca Gayheart's belly at DJ AM's funeral, so she must be pregnant. [Page Six]
• "Paul Simon says he had nothing to do with the recent cancellation of a performance of the stage play The Sound of Silence in Sweden." [UPI]
• Samantha Burke, who is eight months pregnant with Jude Law's spawn, is "excited" with only one month to go. [The Sun]
• "Hip-hop artist and actor Ludacris' Ludacris Foundation and Nissan South gifted 20 needy people in the Atlanta area with cars Sunday, organizers said… Winners of the "Ludacares Stimulus Package" contestant drove away with used vehicles and are entitled to free gas for 30 days." [UPI]
• Actress Marley Shelton gave birth to a girl named West Flynn on Sunday. [People]
• Mohammed Ismail, father of Slumdog Millionaire child star Azharuddin Ismail, died in Mumbai on Friday; he'd been suffering from tuberculosis for over a year. Mohammed made the news earlier this year when he slapped his son for refusing to give interviews after returning from L.A. [Hndustan Times]
• Bianca Jagger lost a €200,000 platinum-and-aquamarine ring in Salzburg in August 2008; Austrian millionaire Reinhard Ringler found the ring and wanted a reward; the whole thing has turned into a mess with a three-month settlement period. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "A jury in San Diego County, Calif., has found in favor of TV actor Tom Selleck and his family in regards to a disputed horse sale." [UPI]
• Bee Gees reunion! [UPI]
• John Lydon — aka Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols — is reforming his band Public Image Ltd (PiL) after a 17 year hiatus. [Reuters]
• Click if you want to read Tom Jones recount a story about Elvis with his pants down. [Telegraph]
• Whatshername and Whathisname will be officially divorced today. [Mirror]
• "It kind of feels like graduating. I'm still really good friends with all the producers and directors and everyone, so it really only feels like a graduation." — Audrina Patridge on leaving The Hills for her "spicier, edgier, older" reality show. [People]
• "My brothers and I came home one day for lunch-I was at the Hackley School… and my mother, who was being pursued by creditors, had a TripTik map in her hand. She said, ‘We're going on a vacation. We're going to visit every man I ever went out with, from the time I was in Miss Semple's finishing school, to find out if I made a mistake.' She found the first one in St. Louis and told us, 'Most divine man I ever met-he made the winning touchdown in the Harvard-Yale game. I just don't want to surprise him with all of you.' So at the restaurant my brothers and I waited in the car. Twenty minutes later, she came out and said, 'Oh, my God. He's let himself go.' Further south, she'd tell the man, 'Meet me on the corner,' and we'd drive by very slowly and she'd say, ‘Oh, no. Oh, no.'" — George Hamilton, on My One and Only, a film based on an odd road trip that he and his brothers took with their mother in 1955. [The New Yorker]
• "The commitment and devotion of my fans in the UK, otherwise known as 'my little monsters', has made for a truly memorable and successful year for myself and The Fame. I am honoured to be the songwriter and performer behind the number one and number three all-time most downloaded songs in history in the UK." — Lady Gaga. [Mirror]
• "I think that's because it's just instinctual as a woman to be the caretaker of your home. Women complain that men don't do enough, but it's your own fault. You train your man to do nothing. You can't blame someone for not knowing what his or her job should be if you don't ask for it right off the bat." — Jennifer Aniston. [MSNBC via Australian Harper's Bazaar]
• "My cocaine soundtrack was The Cure. I loved all their music, but I listened to this one song on repeat while I did bags and bags of cocaine. ‘Whatever I do/It's not enough.' Isn't that funny? At the time I didn't think there was anything wrong with me until my friends came over and said, ‘Are you doing this alone?' Um, yes. Me and my mirror." — Lady Gaga. [ONTD via Showbiz Spy]