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Audrina Patridge

Loose Lips Audrina Patridge, the Hills' resident mute, makes $10,000 per public appearance. When's that Jezebel reality show coming through? [Be careful what you wish for. -Ed.] • Olivia Newton-John married "entrepreneur" John Easterling over the weekend in their native Australia. They're probably getting physical, physical all over the Barrier Reef. • Jennifer Hudson's new album cover: Photoshopped or not? [TMZ, Us, Dlisted]



Loose Lips Kimora Lee Simmons is telling folks she's "kind of" engaged to uber hotness Djimon Honsou. Life in the fab lane indeed! • It's a GIRL for Jamie Lynn Spears. The wee lass is 6lb, 10 ounces and was born at 8:30 this morning. • What can you expect on the next season of the Hills? "Bathing suits, drama, romance and friendships!" Audrina Patridge tells Us. Damn, this girl is really not the brightest sweater in the drawer. OMG bathing suits! [ People, Us, Dlisted]

Midweek Madness

This Week In Tabloids: Jamie Lynn Is Jilted, Angelina Is Hormonal

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where we wade in murky magazine waters so you don't have to. This week has tabloid stalwarts the Jolie-Pitts featured on two covers: Shiloh's wee face is plastered all over Ok!, while Brad and Angie's alleged marriage woes are featured in In Touch. Us scrapes the bottom of the "celebrity" barrel by featuring a former Bachelor on their cover, while Katie Holmes is a "prisoner" according to Life & Style and Star is squawking about Jamie Lynn Spears getting jilted. We explore John Mayer's penis prowess and ponder Lauren Conrad's pain, after the jump. More »

New York Magazine asks the tough questions about the mental stability of your favorite unhinged reality TV loons, including Jezebel fave Ramona of Real Housewives of NYC. After consulting with a shrink and a copy of the DSM-IV, New York decided in the least scientific way possible that Ramona, Audrina from The Hills, and Tanisha from the Bad Girls Club all exhibit behavioral patterns which imply Borderline Personality Disorder. One of the earmarks of BPD is "A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation." That doesn't sound like Ramona at all! [NYM]

Loose Lips Despite all of Charlotte's Cosmo-swilling, Kristin Davis is sober, and has been since before her stint on Sex and the City. "I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’ve never hid it, but I’ve been sober the whole time I’ve been famous, so it wasn’t like I had to go to rehab publicly," Davis told Health magazine. • Audrina and Justin Bobby are maybe back together. "If things get hard I always go back to Justin," Aud tells Us. The Hills are alive with the sound of boredom. • Britney Spears is allegedly in talks to perform at the Palms Casino in Vegas for a tidy sum. Hey, Celine Dion did it! [Celebitchy,Us, Dlisted]

Loose Lips Jessica Alba tells Fit Pregnancy she doesn't want to be the cool mom. Alba says: "I don't want to be my child's best friend; I want to be a mom. But I do want my child to come to me when they have problems and need to talk, so it's going to be about treading that line." • People are freaking out about these photos of pregnant Angelina's blurry nipple. She is pregnant. She has boobs. Deal with it. More Ange news: she says of her role as "tigress" in the forthcoming Kung Fu Panda, '"I think I have an even partner right now and we are very balanced with our power-sharing. But I think every woman is a tigress or would like to be." • The Hills' Audrina Patridge celebrated her 23rd birthday in Vegas without Lauren Conrad. Dramz! [People, Splash, Premiere, Us]

Loose Lips Did Audrina Patridge get new hills recently? Boob job speculation was rampant on the set of her new movie in Hawaii. • Rumors of a Britney sex tape with paparazzi Adnan Ghalib are circulating. Word is she wore a pink wig throughout filming. • Pete Wentz had a bachelor party last night and future father-in-law Joe Simpson attended. Awkward! [Us, IDLYITW,People]

dirt bag

Owen Wilson & Kate Hudson To Tie The Knot?

  • Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson: Engaged??? Apparently she has a huge new rock on her finger. A source says, "He picked out the ring and went for the biggest one he could find. He was nervous about proposing but Kate was thrilled and the whole thing was really emotional." Guess Owen's rough times are over? [The Sun]
  • John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston spent another weekend together in Miami, eating salads poolside and making out. [People]
  • Jenna Bush got married. [People]
  • Dennis Farina was arrested at LAX for carrying a loaded, unregistered, .22 caliber, semi-automatic pistol in his briefcase. Farina is a former cop but, uh, you can't bring a gun on a plane. [Reuters]
  • Hugh Hefner wants Miley Cyrus to pose for Playboy. When she's old enough. This is what happens. Don't you feel like weeping? [The Sun]
  • Lindsay Lohan: Seen crying at Crown Bar in West Hollywood after a fight with girlfriend Sam Ronson, awwww. [Page Six]
  • But LL was all smiles when she worked the crowd at the Wango Tango concert and introduced Snoop Dogg. When I say Wango you say Tango! [TMZ]
More »

Loose Lips Everyone's favorite televised Klonopin, The Hills, has been picked up for a fourth season. Feel the rain on your skin, bitches! • Speaking of the Hills, Spencer Pratt is doling out advice about butt sex over at Radar. His suggestions are surprisingly...reasonable! • Authorities have taken notice of Britney's good behavior of late: the embattled pop star has been granted more time with sons Sean Preston and Jayden James. She still doesn't have custody of them, but she will be allowed more supervised visits. [Us, Radar,TMZ]

dirt bag

Pete Pops The Question & Ashlee Says Yes

  • Ashlee Simpson, 23, is engaged to Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz, 28. He got down on one knee; she said yes. Flat-iron-filled wedding to come! [In Touch Weekly]
  • Is Ashlee pregnant? There's no evidence to that end, but whatever. [Us]
  • Oh! Is Ashlee's team leaking Mariah Carey songs in hopes of creating less competition for Ashlee's album? Maybe this whole marriage thing is a publicity ploy too. [KBS Radio]
  • Beyoncé's little sister Solange says "I don't know anything about [a wedding]. You'll have to ask her yourself." Also: B has a lot to learn when it comes to kids, says Solange (who is 21 and the mother of a 3-year-old). [People]
  • Does The Hills star Audrina Patridge lock her bedroom door because she doesn't trust roomie Lauren Conrad? Lauren seems like one of those girls who would borrow clothes without asking first. [Page Six]
More »

Choose Or Lose In this electrified election year, where can America's youth turn for voting tips? To the ladies of The Hills, of course. Lauren Conrad, Audrina Patridge and Whitney Port appear in a series of "register to vote" public service announcements. Says Lauren, rather woodenly: "In the time it takes to write the perfect text message, you could register to vote in the 2008 election." In another spot, Whitney claims you can register in the time it takes to say goodnight to your crush. Duly noted! (Click the picture to see the video.) [Think.MTV]


missdemeanors

"George Clooney's Girlfriend Is A Slut"

Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. This week? Women are sluts, look like dudes, are probably on line for abortions and should get AIDS. Another great week of "writing" on the internet! The offenders, their crimes and sentences, after the jump. More »

live blog

The Hills In Paris: Feel The Pluie On Your Peau

New episodes of The Hills are back—finally, after four friggin' months. We're live blogging the whole thing, including the premiere party featuring Lauren, Whitney, Audrina (Heidi wasn't invited, natch) and MARIAH CAREY!!!! After the episode airs, Mimi is gonna perform live. Do you think she watches the show? More »

dirt bag

Will Heath Ledger Win A Posthumous Oscar?

  • Will Heath Ledger earn an Academy Award for his role as the Joker in The Dark Knight? That's the buzz coming out of his native Australia. [News.com.au]
  • Pete Doherty setting young heroin addicts straight on a new TV show? With music-based therapy sessions? Verdict: Maybeshambles. [Sydney Morning Herald]
  • Amy Winehouse took a cab home but couldn't pay for it. Anybody got a tenner? [TMZ]
  • George Clooney is putting pressure on Olympic supplier Omega watches to make a stand against China's lax Darfur policy. This gossip column calls it the Sexiest Scolding Alive. [Rush & Molloy]
More »

clips

The Hills Season Three Preview: Justin Bobby Strikes Back

Oh my god, you guys, the new season of The Hills looks aaaamazing. Lauren and Whitney are in gay Pareeee! Brody gets a cunty new girlfriend! Lauren has a fake rebound fling with a long-haired Frenchy! Stephanie Pratt is back in the house! Spencer and Heidi pretend to break up! Justin Bobby returns! And, according to the tagline: "Everything has changed." Though, um, it sort of seems like everything is the exactly same — except Lauren's hair is a mite darker. But whatever! We will be collectively holding our breath until the March 24 premiere.