Jezebel 
Enter your username and password.
-
posts about #assistedsuicide more → 
Downer Alert: Letting Grandpa Die, And Other Stories
New York, 4:04 AM
Mon Nov 30
18 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
tips@jezebel.com
Editor-in-Chief:
Anna Holmes
Email | Twitter
Deputy Editor:
Dodai Stewart
Email | Twitter
Senior Contributing Editor:
Tracie Egan
Email | Twitter
Contributing Editors:
Anna North
Email | Twitter
Sadie Stein
Email | Twitter
Reporter:
Irin Carmon
Email | Twitter
Editorial Assistant:
Margaret Hartmann
Email | Twitter
Contributors:
Rich Juzwiak
Email | Twitter
Latoya Peterson
Email
Jenna Sauers
Email
Lizzie Skurnick
Email
Interns:
Katy Kelleher
Twitter
| posts about #assistedsuicide more → |
Downer Alert: Letting Grandpa Die, And Other Stories |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
11/11/08
i believe that when all the health reports point to no cure, then the best we can do is honor the dignity of life and allow death to come on its own terms.
11/11/08
11/11/08
As some of the other commenters have said, it's such a sticky situation to be in that one decision doesn't fit all. On the one hand, you have people in vegatative states or terminal illness whose lives (and deaths) will be drawn out painfully over time. But then you get into mental illness, the whole "sound mind" issue, and the fact that suicide affects everyone around the person too, and you can see the argument for wanting to protect people from themselves.
11/11/08
I wanted really badly to commit suicide. I just didn't want to exist anymore. It all hurt too much. The deal was, I'd go to the doctor and get on pills first. If the pills helped, then great, I could go on living and feeling much better. If they didn't, I could say I tried and end my life.
Luckily for me Lexapro is a fucking miracle drug and I feel better than I've felt before in my life, but I understand people who live their whole lives with mental illnesses wanting to end it.
11/11/08
I am okay with the the idea that we don't allow people with mental illnesses to kill themselves if we actually give them help. But therapy is expensive and drugs are expensive. If society isn't going to find away to give them these resources, who are we to say they have to keep living in pain?
11/11/08
Therefore I pay $100 for a month for my meds. Sometimes I think my insurance company would have preferred I commit suicide.
11/11/08
He was diagnosed with Prostate cancer in 1998, recovered after a series of radiation treatments. Since then he has battled skin cancer. This past summer he and my Nana went to stay with my father after a particullarly aggressive bout with skin cancer had left his ear to the point it wouldn't heal after radiation treatments. The doctor had to completly remove his ear and unfortunately it was found to have spread to the bone behind his ear. While undergoing preliminary tests for the next round of treatment options they found a LARGE mass in his left lung.
To which at that point my 88 yr old fantastic grandad said "thanks but no thanks I think I'll just go home"
After 250 radiation treatmnets over the past several years do I blame him? HELL NO.
I work in the medical field and have to agree sometimes the treatment isn't worth the quality of life.
So I plan on seeing him as much as I can and loving him every min. that goes by.
11/11/08
11/11/08
Now everyone wonders why I don't visit grandma much or call her as often as I should. We used to be so close. I don't tell anyone that I feel too guilty to help her as we'd agreed. I just let them think I'm a selfish shit-because I guess I am for not being able to live up to my end of the deal.
11/11/08
My Gran's not in a home or anything like that, but she will die probably sooner than later and everytime I see her she just looks older and older.
It hurts too much to think about how much I love her and that one day, no matter how much she means to me, she'll be gone.
So I don't call her near as often as I should. I think to myself, if I have very little contact, it won't hurt as much when she leaves. I know that's a lie, it'll still hit like a mack truck.
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. It's a very tough choice you've been saddled with. One that could very easily end with you in legal trouble.
You're in my thoughts, hon.
11/11/08
After the Terri Schiavo mess, even though I was still in college at the time, I sat my parents down and gave them explicit instructions. I covered every conceivable contingency I could think of. They're not happy with a lot of it, but they understand.
I'm not exactly thrilled with some of the my parents' wishes. She doesn't want open-heart surgery no matter what the doctor says. Dad doesn't want resuscitated no matter what. By the same token, they're not thrilled with my choice to be an organ donor.
But I look at it as, you make sacrifices for those you love and while you don't get a lot of choices in life and death, what little control you can give a person is priceless.
11/11/08
11/11/08
11/11/08
I'd never want anyone to walk around after I'm gone saying "she was always the most positive person, she loved children, she never said a harsh word to anyone," or a million other complete falsehoods. It's a much better honor to remember people for exactly who they were.
11/11/08
You can't make anyone take anti-depressants if they don't want to, you cannot make them get out of bed, or want to continue on. Just like you can't make someone quit drinking or doing drugs or watching "3 and A Half Men".
That is what I am commenting on, because in the matter of euthanasia, I really can't even wrap my head around being on either end of it. It sounds hypocritical, because I consider suicide to be the ultimate selfish act. Yet, when folks get old, and are sick all the time, or crippingly lonley, I cannot judge that. Seniors seems to lose a lot of their ability to make their own choices, and they have to cede a lot of control. I kind of feel that if I somehow make it to my 90's or seomthing, that I would be able to decide that "Hey, I am ready to go, I am done"
11/11/08
To me, it's not a question of right/wrong/yes/no etc. I hope that, in the end, if someone I love dearly asks me to help them, I will have the courage and the humility to put their wishes and the ending of their suffering above my desire to keep them with me.
11/11/08
11/11/08
Assisted suicide is still illegal. Euthanasia is officially legal, but according to an amendment from 2002 will no longer be prosecuted or punished in those cases that have followed the rules.
There are several rules and conditions applied to euthanasia, the main ones being that it is done with the patients consent, given while (s)he was legally of sound mind; there is unbearable and unending suffering; a second opinion is officially sought; the act is done medically and humanely.
A great part of the population (70%) also supports Drion's pill. Drion's pill is a hypothetical pill (two actually) with which senior citizens who are tired of living could end their own lives in a humane, guided and regulated manner.
However, we have two christian parties in the government coalition at the moment, so this will not be legislated any time soon.
11/11/08
11/11/08
11/11/08
Yay compromise!
11/11/08
11/11/08
"That's not a suicide pact, Dad. It's a murder-suicide."
I'm going to hell.
Seriously.
'Cause that made me laugh.
11/11/08
11/11/08
11/11/08
11/11/08
It is as others have noted -- an issue of control. On the one hand, we want to control our own destiny. On the other, others want us to live eternally and somehow believe they will be marginalized if we pass on. It's ridiculous to think you can actually keep people from dying, because they will be claimed no matter what is done. We have no cure for death.
11/11/08
The hardest part for my family was knowing that she would have killed herself before ending up like that...but she hadn't left any kind of directive telling us to let her go. I don't know if my grandfather would have gone for it, but I know my dad and his siblings would have in a heartbeat. I never, ever, want to end my life like that. I'd rather burn out at 60 than wind up a shell.
11/11/08
my 92-year old grandmother-in-law was put on chemo when she was 89. the chemo totally ruined her for the remaining 3 years. she literally leaked fluid from all her pores, was always sick and depressed, and was totally immobile. she sat in a chair all day, 24/7, unless she was brought to the ER. the kind thing would've be to let her die from the cancer, without chemo, and with generous supplies of oxycontin.
11/11/08
11/11/08
11/11/08
11/11/08