Foie Gras Is For Assholes
Yesterday, a federal judge overturned the state of California's ban on foie gras. Great news, for assholes.
Woman Falsely ID'd as UVA's Jackie by Conservative Blogger Is Suing
Over the past few weeks, venomous conservative blogger and rumored floor-shitter Charles. C. Johnson has dedicated himself almost single-mindedly to exposing the woman he believes is Jackie, the University of Virginia student at the center of Rolling Stone's crumbling and much-criticized story about rape at UVA.…
Navajo Boy Sent Home on First Day of Kindergarten for Having Long Hair
Oh, cool. A devastating end to a shithead summer. Five-year-old Malachi Wilson, a member of the Navajo Nation, was sent home from his first day at a Texas kindergarten for having hair that was deemed "too long." Wilson's mother, April, says that her son was devastated by the encounter. And, seeing as Wilson keeps his…
Wisconsin Woman Assaults DJ Because She Doesn't Like His Song Choices
Recently in Madison, Wisconsin (hometown of your glamorous author Madeleine Davies), a woman out celebrating a friend's birthday at a local Irish pub was not pleased with the song choices of the bar's DJ so, naturally, she did what any maniac would do — throw a glass at his head, attack him physically, damage his…
Inspiration: You're Doing It Wrong [UPDATED]
"To the fatty running on the Westview track..." begins the Facebook screed that Closer would have us believe is inspiring, one for the ages. Closer has some things to learn.
Revenge Porn King Hunter Moore Is Free On Bond For Now
Hunter Moore, who was arrested by the FBI last week for charges including "conspiracy, seven counts of unauthorized access to a protected computer to obtain information and seven counts of aggravated identity theft," is free on $100,000 bond.
Please, Don't Tell Me that I Look Better Without Make-up
ETA: A clarification: This is an essay about emotional abuse. It is an exploration of one seemingly innocuous phrase, used repeatedly, over years, as part of a pattern of abuse, and how it affected my thought processes, self-esteem, and emotional state. If you want to be an ass and tell me I'm a horrible, insecure…
Rush Limbaugh Thinks The Polar Vortex Is a Liberal Hoax, Naturally
Oh Jesus Christ. In news I couldn't make up if I was four days into an Ambien and LSD-induced fugue state, fucking Rush Limbaugh thinks the polar vortex that has basically been making your life a living hell is a Liberal hoax.
