• And now, the cold, hard, retail reality sets in: Neiman Marcus and Net-A-Porter are dropping Ungaro for Spring. Barneys and Saks also aren't ordering. Lindsay Lohan and Mounir Moufarrige, what have you wrought! [Style.com]

• Ashley Tisdale does not yearn for a clothing line. "I've started a production company; I guess that's kind of my clothing line," says the actress. [WWD]
• The incredible Alexander McQueen shoes — both the bulbous hoof ones, and the ones that look like some piece of anthropomorphic weaponry out of eXistenZ, which Lady Gaga wore in the video for "Bad Romance" — are apparently a hit. The designer says he's been inundated with calls from women wanting to buy the so-called "Alien" shoes, albeit some who are interested in them as art pieces. The process by which the shoes are made is protected by copyright, says a spokesperson for the brand. No word on whether a commercial version will be produced for wide sale; McQueen is mulling a charity auction for the runway samples. [Grazia]
• Carlos Falchi's line of handbags for Target is in stores now through December 27th. The designer says, if he didn't have his current job, "I'd like to be a Brazilian cowboy." [TFI]
• Victoria Beckham's people are denying the rumors she is planning, with Simon Fuller, to open a modeling agency — perhaps a U.S. branch of Storm, in which Fuller holds a controlling stake — in New York. "There is absolutely no truth in the story regarding Victoria Beckham and Simon Fuller opening a modeling agency in New York," says her spokesman. "Victoria is concentrating all her efforts on her fashion line and her family." [Vogue UK]
• Daniel Lalonde, president of Louis Vuitton, basically confirmed Lara Stone will be the face of the spring campaign. [The Cut]
• Betsey Johnson is redesigning her stores. Gone will be the hot-pink walls, replaced with white walls and checkerboard floors, to better display the clothes. [Racked]
• Dooney & Bourke co-founder Frederic Bourke has been sentenced to 366 days in prison and a $1 million fine for his role in a failed scheme to bribe Azeri officials into privatizing Azerbaijan's oil company, which would have essentially deprived the country of profits from its greatest national resource. Bourke is appealing. [WWD]
• Model Karmen Pedaru spent a year as goalie on an Estonian national soccer team. [W]
• Funny, the only item this list of How To Look Like Gisele Bundchen is missing is: being born to look like Gisele Bundchen. (OK, so Nars Orgasm is bog standard by now, but $475 moisturizer? Come on.) [Blackbook]
• The BHV — pretty much the most awesome department store in Paris — is getting Beth Ditto and Jean-Charles de Castelbajac to do its holiday windows. Meanwhile, stately old Printemps has Natalia Vodianova. [WWD]
• The British Fashion Council will give an award to the winner of a public vote on who best "embodies the spirit of London." Nominees include Alexa Chung, Kate Moss, and Vivienne Westwood. [BFC]
• Jeffrey Monteiro might be taking over as head designer at Bill Blass. [WWD]
• Liz Lange is launching a lifestyle shopping site, apparently kind of like Gilt crossed with Daily Candy. [Crains]
• People are trying to save Luella on the Internet. [Fashionista]
• The Gossip Girl timeline is apparently now forever divided by the caesura of the Threesome; say Before The Threesome or After The Threesome, and everyone immediately knows what you mean. The boys on the show have been wearing a lot of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's line, Elizabeth & James, People notes. [People]
• Jason Wu is doing a capsule collection for Tse this spring. [WWD]
• Anthropologie is the most profitable of the three Urban Outfitters brands, quarterly results reveal. [TS]
• Marie Osmond is licensing her name to a fashion and home decor line. Every last piece in the Marie Lifestyle Collection will retail for under $100. Expect to see it in stores later this month. [UPI]
• Donna Karan's West Indies home is currently making us cry bitter tears of envy from our very black souls. [SB]

• Adam Lambert put an end to the speculation about his sexuality by going out to a nightclub last night with his boyfriend Drake LaBry. The two held hands and occasionally kissed.

• "When people saw Adam walk in all heads turned in his direction," said a source. "And it was obvious Adam was so proud to be there with Drake. So proud. As people were coming over to meet the singer Adam made a point to turn to Drake and introduce him to the crowd as his boyfriend." [Star]
• Michael Jackson told the promoter who is planning to sue him to perform in a concert with Janet Jackson and the Jackson 5 that he will do the concert in 2010. However, the promoter says he doesn't trust Jackson's word and he'll still sue unless he signs a contract. [TMZ]
• Diversity, the dance group that beat Susan Boyle, has already been booked by Kanye West to performat the Wireless Festival at London's Hyde Park in July, and it's rumored the Michael Jackson wants to work with them. [The Sun]
• Seven out of 10 Brits think Susan Boyle shouldn't have been allowed to appear on Britain's Got Talent according to a survey of 3,000 people. The article notes that she has "learning difficulties," and that people feel contestants on reality shows should undergo psychological testing before competing. [The Telegraph]
• At the trial yesterday of Tiny Virginia Makopo, the former matron of Oprah's school for girls, a teacher testified that Makopo forced one of the girls to watch pornography. [The Daily Mail]
• Here's some clips of Spencer and Heidi Pratt on the first episode of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here complaining that they're big celebrities, and they want NBC executives to get them out of there. It's may be fake drama for the cameras. Bonus: At the end of the clip Heidi eats a rat's tail. [TMZ]
• Or maybe it's not so fake. After Spencer and Heidi Pratt quit and rejoined the show several times during the first episode, NBC flew in Daniel Baldwin to join his brother Stephen Baldwin, who is already in the jungle, and Holly Montag, Heidi's sister. [People]
• Last night Lauren Conrad's last episode of The Hills aired. She wrote on her blog: It was a bittersweet night for me. A part of me is sad to say goodbye to something that has been such a prominent part of my life, but I know that it was time and I am very happy with my decision," adding, "From what I've heard the next season will not disappoint." [Perez Hilton]
• Last night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 showed Kate Gosselin celebrating her birthday with the kids while Jon Gosselin was in Utah with friends for a few days. Now a source says that his girlfriend Deanna Hummel was in Utah with him too. In other news, TLC has ordered 40 more episodes of the show and posted an ad on Craigslist looking for more families with multiples who want to appear on TLC. [The L.A. Times]
• The trophy Shawn Johnson won on Dancing With the Stars is in peices. "We had to take them to New York and they shipped them back and when they opened the box, they were in pieces," said her dancing partner Mark Ballas. "They're fixing them." [E!]
• 50 Cent said in court today that he wouldn't have bought Mike Tyson's mansion if he knew it needed millions in renovations. He's suing BVH Integrated Services, which he hired to inspect the home for him. They estimated it needed $500,000 in repairs, but so far 50 Cent has spent $6 million. [Associated Press]
• 50 Cent will star in the police corruption drama Caught in the Crossfire with Chris Klein and Adam Rodriquez. [Variety]
• After having dinner together at Tom Hanks' house, Jennifer Aniston invited Paul McCartney over to her home for lunch. [The Sun]
• Brandy has reached a settlement with the children of the woman who died in her 2006 car crash. Awatef Aboudihaj's two kids will receive $300,000 each. Her husband rejected Brandy's settlement offer in February. [TMZ]
• Though some have claimed Robert Pattinson has airbrushed-on abs in New Moon, costar Kellan Lutz says he's been training with fellow star Taylor Lautner. "Taylor been training Rob a lot, and that's why he's got such ripped abs. Rob's been working hard. He's trying to be the best he can be," says Lutz. [The Daily Express]
• Another day, another Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart rumor. A source says, "Robert and Kristen spent a lot of alone time together when they filmed the first Twilight movie - they'd stay up most of the night talking, laughing, playing music. Although [Robert] knew Kristen had a boyfriend, he made no secret of the fact that he was crazy about her." [Perez Hilton]
• The Real Housewives of New Jersey werer on the fourth hour of the Today show this morning. Danielle Staub alluded to the allegations that she was involved ina kidnapping and extortion plot saying, "I can just say, it's out there and it will be addressed. And I will definitely touch on all the subjects that are crucially in need of touching on at the time when the time is right." Also, Jacqueline Laurita couldn't be on the show because she's about to give birth to her third child and Teresa Giudice is pregnant. [People]
• Zac Efron will make a cameo on Entourage. Here's some scintillating gossip from the Beverly Hills Niketown where he was filming: "He was filming a scene and talking on his cell phone," says one Niketown employee. "None of the other Entourage cast was here. He was really nice." [E!]
• Rashida Jones and Obama speechwriter Jon Favreau have been seen out together many times this past week, fueling rumors that they are dating. [Politico]
• Jamie Kennedy showed up for an interview on the Johnjay & Rich radio show yesterday with girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt in tow and she did most of the talking. She said he'd better propose to her by next year and talked about Carrie Underwood snubbing her. You can listen to it here: [Perez Hilton]
• When talking to a gossip columnist, Vanessa Minnillo pointed to a 5-carat ring on her middle finger and said, "It will be 10 carats when it moves to the fourth finger!" as a not-so-subtle hint to Nick Lachey. [People]
• Michael Hall, husband of Michael Caine's daughter Natasha, is being sued by a former business associate who says he didn't pay him his cut of a large property deal. [The Daily Express]
• Trent Reznor says his former protégé Marilyn Manson is "a malicious guy and will step on anybody's face to succeed and cross any line of decency. Seeing him now, drugs and alcohol now rule his life and he's become a dopey clown." [Rolling Stone]
• Stephen Dorff is reportedly dating his publicist. [The Daily Express]
• Joan Rivers is selling the Upper East Side penthouse she bought 20 years ago for $25 million. You can check out pictures of her home, which looks like it was modeled after Versailles, at the link. [New York Magazine]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen went out together last night to celebrate a friend's birthday. An onlooker says, "They danced non-stop with their friends and playfully took photos of each other... They loved the music the deejay was spinning." [People]
• Pink Floyd co-founder Roger Waters visited a Palestinian refugee camp next to Israel's West Bank wall today. he said he hopes that "this thing, this awful thing, is destroyed soon." [Yahoo]
• Madonna will perform in Tel Aviv on September 1 for the last stop on her Sticky and Sweet tour. Her website says she's "very excited about returning to Israel for my last and final show." [USA Today]
• It seems Morrissey has recovered from his undisclosed illness. He's rescheduled four cancelled concerts for later this summer. [The Independent]
• Exene Cervenka of the punk band X, co-lead vocalist has revealed that she has Multiple Sclerosis. "After some months of not feeling 100% healthy, I recently had some medical tests run and the prognosis is that I am suffering from Multiple Sclerosis," Cervenka said. "Apparently, it has been affecting me for quite some time." [Rolling Stone]
• Diane Kruger is considering moving to Vancouver to be closer to Joshua Jackson. "My boyfriend's show [Fringe] is being transferred there," says Kruger. "He's from there. I'm going up this weekend but to see what it's like." But, she says, "it doesn't matter where we're going to live. We have no attachments anywhere. Home is where the other person is and that's really great. I could live anywhere as long as he's there." [The Telegraph]
• When Sports Illustrated reporter Dan Patrick asked Danica Patrick about taking performance enhancing drugs, she made some innocuous joke about it not being cheating if you don't get caught. This caused a huge controversy in the racing community and now she's apologized saying, "The whole interview with Dan [Patrick], and every other interview I've ever done with Dan, the questioning comes from left field. It was just a joke and I really apologize if it came across any other way. ... It was a bad joke. There is a lot of sensitivity in our culture about [performance-enhancing drugs]. With all the baseball stuff, I've followed it and this is a real problem. It's a shame kids think they have to do this to get ahead. It's very dangerous. ... It's absolutely not what I'm about. I've learned my lesson on what I should be joking about." [Sports Illustrated]
• When asked if she loves being pregnant with twins, Molly Ringwald said, "No. I don't hate it, though. There is something wonderful about it." She added, "I find it difficult to be restricted in my movements and to feel vulnerable all the time. I am used to feeling very strong and active." [People]
• "I never hook up," says Katy Perry, "If I really like a person, then I'll go on a date. But you'll never catch me just randomly making out with someone. I'm not casual at all. I've always been into making a connection with someone. That's what it's all about for me. Besides, it's sexier to be mysterious and not give it away." [People]
• Beth Ditto of The Gossip says she's willing to start a "band feud" with Katy Perry. She explains, "['I Kissed A Girl'] is a] boner dyke anthem for straight girls who like to turn guys on by making out or, like, faking gay. I hate Katy Perry! She's offensive to gay culture, I'm so offended. She's just riding on the backs of our culture without having to pay any of the dues and not being actually lesbian or anything at all." [The Daily Express]
• Nia Vardalos says: "In 2004 I came to the end of a 10-year infertility battle that knocked me over. So I decided to just quietly withdraw and write, and I enjoyed it... Now having come through it, I highly recommend it. I think when you let go and try and stop making things happen, you come out of it quite invigorated," Vardalos told Reuters. [Reuters]
• Michael Sheen, who played Tony Blair in The Queen received an OBE from the real queen for his service to drama, even though Queen Elizabeth probably isn't familiar with his work. He said, "I heard through a fairly reliable source that there was an agreement she was not going to watch the film and Mr. Blair wasn't going to watch the film either." [The Star]

• Hillary Clinton has not agreed to be Obama's Secretary of State even if she is officially offered it. [Politico]
• She has, however, been asked to head Ted Kennedy's health reform task force next year. [The Hill]
• Mr. Jowls will remain the Chairman of the Committee on Homeland Security. Jane Hamsher and others say, in so many words, fuck that guy. [Politico, Firedoglake, Politico]
• Chuck Norris might be able to defeat ninjas, cowboys and anyone who talks back, but what he's really, really scared of is boys who like to kiss other boys (we assume that, like most raging homophobes, he furiously masturbates to girl-on-girl porn). Chuck Norris, I have watched gay bear porn and survived with nary a scratch. I double dog dare you. [Queerty]

• In the mean time, Eric Holder appears poised to become this country's first African-American attorney general. Some people have their panties all in a bunch that he might or might not have had something to do with the 11th hour pardon of Marc Rich in the Clinton Administration. [Newsweek]
• Beau Biden, on the other hand, will not accept an appointment to his father's Senate seat and will likely deploy to Iraq as planned. [Washington Post]
• Less gracious is outgoing Representative Marilyn Musgrave (R-Colorado) who has yet to officially concede the race she lost in a landslide to Democrat Betsy Markey or thank her staff, but what would you expect from the woman who staked her legislative career on trying to pass a Constitutional amendment to forever prohibit same sex marriage? [Politico]
• Speaking of controversial pardons, apparently Ted Stevens wants one. [Politico]
• Republicans are trying to decide whether to try and trample people's rights in order to regain some semblance of political relevance, or whether they'd like to try doing stuff for the Real Americans they so desperately swear they represent. [Huffington Post]
• Chuck Hagel pretty much said that Rush Limbaugh can go fuck himself during a speech. I say that all the time, Chuck! Want to grab a drink and make fun of him sometime? [CNN]
• Diane Sawyer conducted her interview with Ashley Alexandra Dupre, originally famous for fucking former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer for money, who, if this picture is any guide, will heretofore be known for sneaking into Sarah Palin's tanning beds one too many times and stealing Jane Fonda's steez from 9 to 5. It's unclear whether she actually says anything to make the interview worth watching, but since she's probably not going to dish about whether Spitzer really tried to fuck her up the ass without a condom while wearing his socks and singing show tunes, I'm guessing not. Fine, I never really heard rumors of show tunes. [Huffington Post]

• Literary sensations Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen premiere their first book, Influence. '"Ashley and Mary-Kate take readers on a journey through their celebrated young lives, pausing to reflect on what has helped shape them into who they are today," the book's publisher said in a statement. "They interviewed 20 people and wrote brief essays about each other." Those interviewed include fashion designers Karl Lagerfeld, Diane Von Furstenburg, John Galliano and Christian Louboutin. "We interviewed the people who have inspired us, with the hope that they will inspire and teach others," Mary-Kate said. "We want to explain culturally how ideas evolve."' [People]
• The first "Cavalli Club" will open in Dubai this Fall. Says Roberto, '“living against monotony, with the enjoyment of music, of good food, of pleasant company” is the club’s philosophy. In his goal to offer “multiple culinary and sensorial experiences,” Cavalli plans an Italian restaurant flanked by a sushi bar and a wine bar on the top floor.' We can only assume this will be convenient to Lagerfeld's "Fashion Island." [WWD]
• A new investor allows Sadie Frost's company to live another day. Said a rep of the Jude Law ex and her design partner Jemima French, "Sadie and Jemima relish the opportunity to be fully hands-on again and being able to return to the creative and business helm of a fashion label. Both designers are currently working on their next collection" [Independent]

• The new Calvin Klein "Secret Obsession" campaign, starring Eva Mendes, was deemed too provocative for U.S. air waves - so it's to preview on the 'net. "TV networks will simply not allow Steven Meisel's commercial to be aired - it's too raunchy and risque, featuring Eva enjoying a private, intimate moment, set to a seductive sound track, wearing very little." [ElleUK]
• Lipstick Queen Poppy King should stick to cosmetics: "To be in fashion right now means to understand the difference between feminine and female and to get the balance right: too feminine and we are back in the submission of the '50s, too confrontational and it becomes '80s power woman. But in between these two is that wonderful space that it just 100 percent female—neither overly hostile nor apologetic. Perhaps if Hillary Clinton had got this sense of female right it may have turned out differently for her." [JC Report]
• Ashton Kutcher to return as face of Pepe Jeans London. [VogueUK]
• Cartier apparently thinks it's 2005, teams up with MySpace. [Guardian]
• Denim line Rock & Republic launches makeup line for unclear reasons. [Cosmetics News]
• Hockey player and novelty Vogue intern Sean Avery now dating Calvin Klein's ex-wife, Kelly. Well, they said Wintour was crushing on him, too...[Page Six]
• Modeling agency sues other modeling agency for model poaching. [UPI]
• Jewelry designers haggle over intellectual property. [Fashionista]
• Good old J. Crew weathers economic storm through "honesty and communication." [AdAge]
• Vidal Sassoon on his "rags to riches" story of hairstyling to the stars. [KQED]
• LVMH, Sony settle over musicians playing fast and loose with their trademarks. Kanye West, "Louis Vuitton Don," we're looking at you. [WWD]
• "Supergirl" line a fashion dream team: "Warner Bros. is moving full-steam ahead with a long-term, global Supergirl branded contemporary sportswear line, ready for resort selling. The line is designed by the trio of Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss, Alice Roi and Laura Poretzky." [WWD]
• Weak global economy means less direct sourcing from India. [Business Week]
• Despite Blane's desperate attempts to force a catch-phrase, "boring contestants" and an earlier time slot have Project Runway off to a slow start, ratings-wise. [Portfolio]
• Canadian con man convicted of selling fake Gucci stock options. [WWD]

• Happy 21st birthday Mary Kate and Ashley! Yup, as of today, the Olsen twins are legally able to imbibe both Red Bull and vodka. Now go throw up an extra-special birthday dinner girls — you deserve it! [Olsen Twins 21st Birthday Countdown]
  
• Everyone — rulers out! A new study says that math skills can be determined by the ratio of the ring finger to index finger. We tried to calculate our own ratio, but... we're so bad at math we couldn't. [ScienceNow]
  
• Random public service announcement: Grapes and raisins cause kidney failure in dogs. And yes, we checked. [TheKnot.com]
  
• Sir Tim Berners-Lee, the inventor of the Internet, was given England's highest honor, the Order of Merit, by Queen Elizabeth today. Wait a second. Rewind. Didn't Al Gore invent the Internet??? [BBC]
  
• While touring Australia, the Dalai Lama met with Bindi Irwin, the 9-year old daughter of the late Steve "The Crocodile Hunter" Irwin. What, is an audience with The Pope next? [CNN]
  
• Don "Mr. Wizard" Herbert died last night at the age of 89. We learned more about science from him during our television-viewing days during the mid-80's than we ever did in school. [CNN]

• We may not know much about science, but we do know that fossils are cool. [NYT]
• K-Fed's rep denies that the ex-Mr. Spears has impregnated the woman he left for Britney, Shar Jackson, yet again. [E!]
• Jake Gyllenhaal? On Broadway? This fall? The gays will go crazy! [People.com]
• Two U.S. casulaties identified today. [DoD]

[CFDA Awards, New York, NY; June 4. Images via Getty]