Palin's Oprah appearance was in some ways disappointing, as she buttered up her host and hewed closely to talking points already leaked from the book. Things really only got interesting when she let her guard down and started calling Levi "Ricky Hollywood." Going Rogue is much the same story. Don't read the book for Palin's lengthy descriptions of Alaska energy policy (short version: she believes she helped usher in a "mutually beneficial relationship between government and industry") or for her recommendations for the future of America (short version: Reaganomics). Don't read it for her justifications of her resignation (we've heard them all before) or even for her explanation of how she would have managed her role in the McCain campaign differently (even she acknowledges that they probably still would've lost). Read it for the insults. Or, better yet, just read the insults, and save yourself $28.99.

On anti-corporate liberals (aka Commies):

In national politics, some feel that Big Business is always opposed to the Little Guy. Some people seem to think a profit motive is inherently greedy and evil, and that what's good for business is bad for people. (That's what Karl Marx thought too.)

On Ashley Judd:

One animal rights group recruited a perky, pretty celebrity to attack our scientifically-controlled, state-managed wolf-control program. It was ironic that she opposed using guns to kill predators that would cause Native people to starve, but apparently not opposed to taking movie roles in which she'd use guns to kill predatory people.

On John Kerry:

I recalled Senator John Kerry's comment to California college students in 2006: "You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. And if you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."
What a loon, I thought. What an elitist loon.

On Vogue readers:

We were bombarded with interview requests, including, believe it or not, a Vogue magazine profile of Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius and me in a fashion shoot. [...] Since fashion trends weren't my top interest, I kept bringing the Vogue writer's questions back to national security and energy independence. That made it tough for her, as she was doing her best to write for readers who cared about the latest Fifth Avenue styles and probably wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of Sorels. She finally had to stop me and nicely say she had heard enough about energy. I just couldn't pivot from hydropower to high fashion, so the interview wasn't that great for her readers, I'm sure.

On Katie Couric:

By September 29, the day of the bailout vote, we had fallen behind. That bracket of time also included my seemingly endless serial chat with the lowest-rated news anchor in network television, CBS's Katie Couric. [...]

Katie asked me if I thought it was possible to "pray away gay" — to convert homosexuals to heterosexuality through prayer. Hmmm, I thought. Odd question. I don't think she really wanted to hear my answer because she interrupted me five times as I tried to give it. The badgering had begun. This is really annoying me, I thought. Then she asked me about abortion and the morning-after pill twelve times. Twelve different times.
I answered as graciously and as patiently as I could. Each time, I reiterated my pro-life, pro-woman, pro-adoption position. But no matter how many ways I tried to say it, Katie responded by asking the question again in a slightly different way. I began to feel like I was in the movie Groundhog Day. [...]

I felt sick about the depths to which some in the press had apparently sunk, not because it was unfair to me and John, but because it was unfair to the American electorate.

On cap-and-trade policies:

As more and more Americans understand that cap and trade is an environmentalist Ponzi scheme in which only the government benefits, they will refuse to tolerate it.

On Levi Johnston:

[Track Palin] talked about watching his sister be humiliated on national television as her former boyfriend went on his fact-free kiss-and-tell media tour. Track knew the kid was making things up.

On the Democratic party:

There are many fine Democrat public servants, but sadly many in the party have moved increasingly to the left, and often the beating heart of their political warfare has been the personal destruction of their enemies. Generally speaking, after decades of failed social policies and weak national security positions, the party doesn't have a strong base of success from which to win political arguments. So it targets people instead of ideas.

And finally, epically, on the media:

[...] I will state this complaint for the record: what used to be called "mainstream" national media are, in many respects, worthless as a source of factual information anymore. The sin of omission glares in their reporting. Perhaps national press outlets just don't have the resources anymore to devote to balanced coverage. Perhaps they've all just given up on themselves, so we've given up on them too, except to treat their shoddy reporting like a car crash — sometimes you just have to look. The time has come to acknowledge that it is counterfeit objectivity the liberal media try to sell consumers. A period in the great American experiment has passed. We are moving into a new, more intelligent realm to gather information differently in order to hold our government accountable. Thank God there are still a few credible broadcasters on cable news, plus informative talk radio, common sense blogs, and some fine, fact-based print publications. Beware of the left's attempt to silence these — as they have already with the bogus "Fairness Doctrine," which attempts to blunt the force of conservative talk radio — and join me in being all over it when censoring efforts crop up.

Of course, there's more in Going Rogue, from a detailed list of complaints against McCain staffers who attempted to police Palin to an argument that parental notification laws for abortion offer young girls "support and protection" to an explanation of Palin's views on evolution (she believes in it, sort of). But really, her constant criticism of the "liberal media" for its attacks on her is somewhat hypocritical, since attacking others is actually her best skill. Of course, it's hard to tell where Palin ends and ghostwriter Lynn Vincent begins, but ever since her comment that "a small-town mayor is sort of like a 'community organizer,' except that you have actual responsibilities," she's set herself up as a contemporary poet of the dis. She doesn't always have her facts straight, but she knows how to turn the knife, and it's when so turning that she seems most authentically herself. On Oprah, Palin didn't rule out starting her own talk show, and perhaps she'll yet become the next Glenn Beck or Bill O'Reilly, offering her sharp if oddly-hewn barbs in response to what she sees as liberal media attacks. Because even though she says she wanted to give a message of unity in her nixed concession speech, what Sarah Palin really excels at is good, old-fashioned mudslinging.

Going Rogue: An American Life [Amazon]

[LAX, November 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

One day when I have the energy (or am drunk), I really want to do an entire installment of GBU in the style of US Weekly's "Fashion Police." And so, when it came to Ashley Judd, I'd have some pun about either De-Lovely or Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. As it is, let's just say, congrats.


Naya Riveria is one of those women who can actually wear American Apparel's fashiony items, which is very misleading to the rest of the world.


Digging on Molly Sims' LBD, don't have the energy to object to shoes anymore.


On the fence about Mandy Moore's getup. On the one hand, I get it. On the other, that doesn't mean it doesn't age her. But on the third hand (work with me), maybe that's okay.


If it's November, dammit, you can wear tights. Debra Messing thinks so, too.


Ambassador Swanee Hunt is also an Ambassador of whatever land Snakes and Ladders comes form. Or, "shoots and ladders" as the sanitized version is known.


Are people getting sick of the slightly retro mini yet? Not TV host Catt Sadler.


In case there was any confusion, Tami Farrell removes it.


"Class act" is, of course, in the genes for Eva Amurri. (We're ignoring The Banger Sisters.)


PSI's Kate Roberts has a lot going on. A multi-tasker, even.


Ellen Burstyn works flowing robes like no one else.

[Images via Getty]

• Handbag model Lily Allen performed live at the farming-themed, hay-strewn Chanel show this morning. [Fashionista]
• Claudia Schiffer has formally announced she will no longer do any runway modeling. She plans to fill her downtime with a trip to Iraq. [Sun]

• Marc Jacobs' and Viacom's flacks have denied the reports that Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone are to appear on a gay version of the Real Housewives for the Logo network. [CityFile]
• Vera Wang, however, says bring on the cameras. "I'm doing a TV show. It's coming. I don't know when, or how, but it's coming," said the designer at the National Arts Awards. Wang, seated at the table of collector Julie Minskoff, said she doesn't buy art because she can't afford it. But if money were no object, "I would buy Tom Sachs, because I like Hello Kitty. And the guy who does all the pills, because I take them all." Should make for some interesting viewing, then. [StyleFile]
• A Puma branded mobile phone: It's happening sometime next spring. [WWD]
• Ever phlegmatic Vogue editor Grace Coddington, on fans now recognizing her in the street: "It's probably a short-lived thing. There will be another fashion movie and another person who comes out from that." [Grazia]
• During the Givenchy show, someone stole Coddington's purse from her chauffeured car while the driver apparently napped. [NYDN]
• Prince turned up at the Yves Saint Laurent show in a gold sequined suit he designed himself. [WWD]
• The only odd thing about this sweet article on the art show Rodarte is curating in Paris: who is this documentary crew that's mentioned in passing, and why have they been following the Mulleavy sisters for four years? [NYTimes]
• Actress Ashley Judd is releasing a perfume, of which she says, "Beloved Red Rose captures the essence of love." Not that she'd be an objective source on that or anything. [People]
• Meanwhile, Tamara Mellon's Jimmy Choo has signed a 12-year fragrance licensing contract. So expect a Jimmy Choo scent soon. [WWD]
• The reason Celine had a lag of 13 months between confirming Phoebe Philo as its new creative director and actually giving her a catwalk show is apparently not because the LVMH overlords' were given pause by anything Philo did — it's simply that 2009 was marked off as "Transition Year" in Marco Gobbetti's calendar, and spring 2010, well, that's a whole ball game. [Reuters]
• French Connection is closing it s21 stores in Japan. The retailer lost $16.8 million in the first six months of this year. [WWD]
• Cher and Bob Mackie are at it again, creating costumes out of rhinestones, nude tricot, and feathers for the star's Caesar's Palace show in Vegas. What else would you expect? [People]
• Juergen Teller is working on a book of nude photographs of Raquel Zimmerman and Charlotte Rampling at the Louvre. [WWD]
• Ellen Tracy is taking its sportswear slightly downmarket. From this spring onwards, its wares will cost $50-$149. The brand has signed an exclusive distributorship deal with Macy's. [Crain's]
• For those who wish they could be Don Draper: A limited run of 250 suits inspired by Mad Men will be sold at Brooks Brothers starting October 19th. [WWD]
• Pierre Bergé, Yves Saint Laurent's life and business partner, says he received death threats and was accompanied by bodyguards following his decision to auction two Qing dynasty bronzes from his and Saint Laurent's art collection that China wanted repatriated. [Reuters]
• Chef Marcus Samuelsson, television chef Giada de Laurentiis, and Zac Posen are cooking this weekend for a $325-a-head event at the Food Network New York City Wine & Food Festival. Samuelsson muses on the similarities between professional cooking and fashion design: "I've been backstage at a fashion show, and it's like a kitchen. It's a very similar energy." Posen, a home cook, says Martha Stewart and Jacques Pépin saved his life. "I was a very depressed middle-school student and I watched [those shows] avidly, and then Martha Stewart changed my life. Her first cookbook [Entertaining] was given to my mom, but I took it." WWD even re-prints Samuelsson's maple-glazed salmon and couscous recipe. [WWD]
• Renzo Rosso, the Diesel founder who owns Maison Martin Margiela, has confirmed that the rarely seen Belgian designer, rumored to have departed his namesake house, has been gone for "a long time." Instead, Margiela is "here but not here. We have a new fresh design team on board." This season's collection, just shown in Paris, was rated a disappointment by the fashion press, who would like to see a successor named. Haider Ackerman and Raf Simons are rumored to be under consideration, but anyone named would have to design the label anonymously. [Vogue UK]
• Roland Mouret: Just another designer broadcasting his show live on the Internet. [WWD]
• Some Very Important Designer forgot his ticket to Viktor & Rolf and nearly had to stand with the hoi polloi! [Fashionista]
• The Clean Clothes Campaign is pressuring Europe's biggest retailers, like Tesco, Aldi, and Carrefour, to institute a common guaranteed minimum wage for garment workers across Asia. Its lofty goal? Assuring that the people who make the clothes we wear are paid $475 a month and get a 48-hour workweek. You can e-mail retailers via the Campaign's website. [WWD]

Palin's particular brand of absurdist theater was in fine form, especially in her anti-gun-control sentiments:

you're going to see anti-hunting, anti-second amendment circuses from Hollywood and here's how they do it. They use these delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets, they use Alaska as a fundraising tool for their anti-second amendment causes.

Is she warning Alaska against Miley Cyrus? (Actually, Ben Smith thinks the "starlet" in question might be Ashley Judd, who narrated an ad attacking Palin's record on wolf-hunting.) There's plenty more where that came from — but there's also something more disturbing than sheer silliness at work in Palin's speech. Check this out:

And first, some straight talk for some, just some in the media because another right protected for all of us is freedom of the press, and you all have such important jobs reporting facts and informing the electorate, and exerting power to influence. You represent what could and should be a respected honest profession that could and should be the cornerstone of our democracy. Democracy depends on you, and that is why, that's why our troops are willing to die for you. So, how 'bout in honor of the American soldier, ya quite makin' things up. And don't underestimate the wisdom of the people, and one other thing for the media, our new governor has a very nice family too, so leave his kids alone.

This kind of anti-press guilt-trip (when you "make things up," you hurt our troops and our children!) isn't new, but Sarah Palin has become a poster child for the idea that no criticism is substantive criticism. Everyone who says something bad about her is attacking her, and not just her qualifications or her experience, but her family, her patriotism, her America. She's careful to say she's talking about "just some" in the press here, but Sarah Palin's basic refusal to engage with people who disagree with her makes her destructive to any sort of shared national discourse. Watch her respond to a heckler at about minute 7:30 of the second part of her speech. She says:

Now, people who know me, and they know how much I love this state, some still are choosing not to hear why I made the decision to chart a new course to advance the state. And it should be so obvious to you. (indicating heckler) It is because I love Alaska this much, sir (at heckler) that I feel it is my duty to avoid the unproductive, typical, politics as usual, lame duck session in one's last year in office. How does that benefit you? No, with this decision now, I will be able to fight even harder for you, for what is right, for truth. And I have never felt like you need a title to do that.

Palin sees anyone who questions her resignation as "are choosing not to hear it" in her, because to anyone who actually heard her, the decision would be "obvious." Obvious because ... she loves Alaska! And because no more politics as usual! Yeah! Watch her bask in the applause at the end of this particular bit to see her in her element — people who don't question her, because she has no real response to those questions. All she can do is criticize the questioners themselves — as inattentive, immoral, or un-American.

On CBS this morning, Ann Coulter called Palin "an amazing speaker," and it's true that she's extremely good at working a crowd — especially if she's serving them hot dogs, or, as David Frum points out, $1,200 oil-money checks. But Frum counters that she's a "divisive" force that could lead the Republican party to "ineffectiveness" in government, and I've never agreed so wholeheartedly with a Republican speechwriter.

The Awl's Alex Balk says of Palin's final official tweet, "this is the most direct, clear, and comprehensible statement she's ever made on the microblogging service." And the message — "Last state twitter. Thank you Alaska! I love you. God bless Alaska. God bless the U.S.A." — certainly makes more sense than anything she's ever said about bears. But what it basically displays is one of Palin's two great skills: pandering to her base. The other is deflecting criticism by making it seem unfair. Neither of these is what we need in a leader. David Frum says it's "impossible" that Sarah Palin could win a presidential election in 2012. Let's hope he's right.

Sarah Palin's Farewell Address - Full Transcript [AKMuckraker]
President Palin 'Impossible' [CBS News]
Sarah Palin Train Choo-Choos Into The Sunset [The Awl]
Never Before... [Politico]

Hillary Clinton was sworn in as Secretary of State again yesterday in a photo-op ceremony that totally didn't seem somewhat absurd since she's already been Secretary of State for 12 days. While she was having her second bite at the confirmation apple, Eric Holder was getting his first, former Senator Tom Daschle was taking a tongue lashing (and not in a sexy way) in his bid to become the next Secretary of Health and Human Services, Leon Panetta was finally scheduled for a hearing on his bid to be the next CIA Director and current New Hampshire Senator Judd Gregg was trying to work out the kinks (also, not in a sexy way) in his nomination to be Secretary of Commerce by getting his Democratic Governor John Lynch to promise to appoint a Republican to his seat when he leaves, which makes me, at least, wonder what the fuck is the point of appointing him in the first place. I mean, he only wants the gig because he knows he'll lose a re-election bid to a Dem in 2010, which is when his emptied seat would be up in a special election anyway, so it's a zero sum game and he gets Secretary of Commerce? Granted, his predecessor for the nomination, Bill Richardson, is looking at an expanded investigation into his grabby little hands so Gregg's better than that, but, really? Really?

Meanwhile, Michelle Obama's been busy around town with more than just being Mom In Chief. She's reportedly crafting a policy agenda on all that "working families" stuff that she was promoting during a campaign. She even gave a speech at the Department of Education (think that'll be on her policy agenda?) about all the education issues close to her heart. Countdown to right-wing hysteria at a woman in the White House having a brain, a platform and the good sense to use both wisely to promote things that are important to her in 5...4...3...

While Michelle's out giving speeches and Obama's team is attempting to keep all their Cabinetry balls in the air, the GOP is doing just a little bit of soul-searching. Well, some of them are doing soul-searching and some, like South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint, are promoting $3.1 trillion dollar alternative stimulus packages full of tax cuts for corporations and rich people which he believes will stimulate the economy more than some New Deal thingie where Real Americans get jobs building roads and shit. Others are listening to Joe The Motherfucking Plumber's political advice (for real, I swear, that's not even a joke), hiding from the wrath of Teh Gheyz because of their Prop (H)8 support or trying to make Sarah Palin the new Republican standard-bearer because she's just so gosh-darn cute with her fancy pageant walking and her nascent McCarthyism. One person who doesn't find her so cute is actress Ashley Judd, who, with the help of Defenders of Wildlife, stars in an anti-aerial wolf-hunting advertisement that attempts to make as much hay out of using Palin's name as I am by shoe-horning this story into the news instead of talking about protectionism, Iranian satellites, Kwame Kilpatrick's new-found freedom or Michael Bloomberg getting bit by a motherfucking groundhog. I know what y'all want to click.

• It's going to be Kate Winslet vs. Kate Winslet at the Bafta awards. [Guardian]
• And! Winslet is on the February cover of In Style. [The Life Files]

• The Oscar presenters are a secret, but no one cares. [NY Daily News]
• Ruh-roh: Justin Timberlake was having dinner with Jessica Biel when Britney and her mom walked into the restaurant. A spy says JT and Jess quickly slumped down in their chairs to avoid Brit Brit. [Gatecrasher]
• Patrick Swayze and his wife Lisa are "each other's rocks." [People]
• Random celebs are going to the inauguration! Josh Lucas will attend the swearing-in ceremony, Kal Penn has a ticket, Gloria Reuben is going to the Creative Coalition's pre-inaugural bash, and Ashley Judd is going to a couple of balls and the swearing-in. Of course, Judd will swing through Sundance first. Stars! Just like us. Not. [USA Today]
• And yes, Will Smith will be there too, as an "eyewitness to history." [Telegraph]
• Want to know what Barack Obama will eat for dinner on January 19th, before he takes the oath of office the next day? Click away. [TMZ]
• The new Barack Obama wax figure is vaguely horrifying. [Concrete Loop]
• Oh dear: Mickey Rourke and Bai Ling made out at Chateau Marmont. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Naomi Campbell and Naomi Campbell's maid have settled their lawsuit. Raise your hand if you think the maid got paid. [AP]
• Lost fans! Foxy Matthew Fox is looking foxy on the cover of Details! [ONTD]
• Lost fans! Awesome Evangeline Lilly is on the cover of TV Guide! [JustJared]
• Whoa: Guy Ritchie was in Madonna's NYC apartment on Tuesday, because Lourdes begged them, "Please don’t be mean to each other." Now, says a source: "Madge and Guy are getting along better than they have in over a year." Absence makes the heart grow civil? [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna is flying to Florida for an equestrian festival, and she's having a British riding instructor flown out for her. Six months ago Madonna had a horse shipped to the U.S., how did we miss that? [Perez]
• Amy Winehouse has extended her "well-being" stay at Le Sport Spa in St. Lucia, but she is ignoring the booze ban her management put in place. A source says, "We keep catching her crawling past bars, or hiding behind chairs. She grabs guests’ drinks and runs off, like a squirrel with a nut." [MSNBC]
• Okay, even though this is a picture of Amy Winehouse on her hands and knees outside of a hotel bar, her spokesperson says: "Amy was not stealing drinks off people's tables. She could have been doing anything in those pictures. She is moving out of the hotel and into a private villa nearby. She wants a bit more privacy. Her dad arrived today and she has decided to stay out there for two more weeks. She is just on holiday and enjoying herself." Clearly. [Daily Mail]
• American Idol's Kara DioGuardi is defending her attack on the contestant known as Bikini Girl. It isn't that she has a problem with attractive women: "I love pretty girls," DioGuardi told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show. "The thing with Bikini Girl, to be honest with you — I think she had a better body than her face. But we wouldn’t be talking about the bikini if she killed the song." [MSNBC]
• In this behind-the-scenes video of Beyoncé and Solange's L'Oréal commercial, you find out that they each think the other one looks "beautiful and flawless." Oh, and there's hair choreography. [ONTD]
• This item is about how Daniel Craig admits he's done some "crap" films, and used to go in Blockbuster and throw his bad movies that were on the shelf under the counter. Which is the story he told Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, and we posted that clip here. [The Sun]
• We've heard this before, but Whoopi Goldberg is returning to the sci-fi genre: She'll produce and star in Stream, a series which premieres today on horror website and on-demand network FEARnet. [Reuters]
• Filmmaker Michael Moore "misused" a war photograph — in which a U.S. soldier is seen cradling a wounded Iraqi girl — and now there is a lawsuit and a kerfluffle. [Page Six]
• Will Ferrell is learning you can't say "douchebag" on morning television. [Page Six]
• Sharon Osbourne won't go on Jay Leno's new prime-time show in September: "I wouldn't go on it. Fuck no. He had always been a friend of ours, but then Ozzy went and performed on Jimmy Kimmel, and Jay has banned us ever since. So fuck him!" Tell us how you really feel, Sharon. [Page Six]
• By the by, Sharon has just won an apology and cold hard cash from The Sun after the paper falsely accused her of overworking husband Ozzy. [AP]
• Even though Courtenay Semel beat up Casey Johnson and set her hair on fire, the two will go to Sundance together this weekend. Fun! [Page Six]
• Emily Blunt is in negotiations to play femme fatale Black Widow in Iron Man 2. [Variety]
• Kendra Wilkinson says: "Now I'm totally against [Hefner's] way of life, with three girlfriends and all of that." But! She will marry fiancé Hank Baskett at the Playboy Mansion this summer. Moral compass: Askew. [NY Daily News]
• Aww, Lenny Kravitz and daughter Zoe work out with a trainer together in Miami. [Page Six]
• For some reason Craig Ferguson is really protective of Jimmy Fallon, who will take over Late Night in March. Ferguson told a bunch of TV critics: "I challenge you all to this: Give Jimmy a month before you review him. [Fallon] is kind of like the reverse Barack Obama. It's like he hasn't done anything yet, but everybody is commenting on his performance. Give him a chance." [AP]
• Jude Law and Judi Dench are helping save a gorgeous old Victorian church in north London. [Telegraph]
• Blind item! "Which aging action star had a leisurely conversation with a young, hunky co-star on set — all while being pleasured by an extra?" [Gatecrasher]
• Joey McIntyre says of the New Kids On The Block cruise: "Our manager tells us this is not a cheesy thing." But honey, he gets paid to say that. [Gatecrasher]
• Emma "Baby Spice Bunton" says there will be no Spice Girls reunion: "We had the most amazing time. It was a completely different vibe and we had so much fun. But it's done now, and I think we're all going in different directions." Ya think? [Mirror]
• Blur guitarist Graham Coxon says Pete Doherty is a "scumbag magnet." [The Sun]
• Daniel Radcliffe had to change a line in the play Equus because American tourists were laughing. It had to do with someone asking a horse's name and the line "Trojan... and you can stroke him." [Telegraph]
• "Are you sure you want to get this close to me after seeing my show?" — Bret Michaels to a group of "busty, flirty" fans who approached him begging for photos at a NYC bar on Monday. [Gatecrasher]
• "People come up to me and have certain words for me, but you know what I do? I say, 'I'm healthy, I exercise, I believe in myself, and I think I’m beautiful.' You just have to learn how to transform the pressures into something that doesn’t soak into you on a personal level. You see it, you breathe past it, you don’t let it sink into your self-esteem." — Raven-Symoné, who battles body critics, but will host a Dove-sponsored self-esteem workshop today. [People]
• "Honestly, to see how in love with Angelina he is, it was really quite disgusting. Awful in fact. It's in my contract now: I won't ever work with him again." — Cate Blanchett, joking about Brad Pitt. [Telegraph]
• "I got a souvenir. I got his glasses as a present. And it's my treasure. I love those glasses. He only has two pairs and he gave me one." — Penelope Cruz, on what Woody Allen gave her after Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Bet he says that to all the girls. [Hindustan Times via Contact Music]

It's hard to understand and describe the situation in the country; the Tutsis — the tribe slaughtered in Rwanda during the genocide of 1994 — are leading an army against the government. 5.4 million people have died from war-related causes in the Congo since 1998, which one organization calls "the world’s deadliest documented conflict since WW II." And the majority of deaths were from "secondary" causes: malaria, diarrhea, pneumonia and malnutrition. Preventable, and treatable, under different circumstances. But Ashley Judd says that women and children "tend to be the most vulnerable and the most exploited and the most underserved and so there is probably a gender inequality factor that contributes to the lack of attention that's being given."

Judd's experiences in the Congo — especially when she met with the many, many women who had been brutally raped — had a real impact on her. "I was flat on my back for three weeks after," she says. (She went to a doctor and then a psychologist, who diagnosed her with "plain old straight-up grief.")

Judd is extremely articulate about the horrors she witnessed:

"[I sat with] a woman, who, through word of mouth, heard there was a clinic which could help a woman who had been raped. She had to figure out—in the midst of being stigmatized, in the midst of her physical agony, in the midst of incontinence and starvation—how to get herself walking, crawling to this clinic, only to find that it's overcrowded, because there are so many women, hundreds, if not thousands, just like her. And just imagine, this is a clinic that does nothing but genital reconstruction; […] The vagina will tear when being forced to accommodate either a rapist's anatomy or objects that are introduced: wood, rock, sticks, guns, bayonets. There will be perforation of the vaginal walls, perforation and ripping of the cervix, potentially, based on the extent of the penetration into the uterus. The wall between the rectum and vagina is ripped apart. The urethra, which goes to the bladder, is damaged. There is incontinence. The urine is constantly seeping out, because the muscles and mechanisms that hold the bladder intact are ruined; there is faecal incontinency, which of course can introduce faecal matter into the gut, which results in horrific infections."

Christopher Dickey says: "Inevitably, there are people who say that you are a voyeur." Responds Judd: "Let them come with me—Come 'voyeur' with me."

Ashley Judd’s Heart Of Darkness [Newsweek]
Ashley Judd's Congo Diary [TheCommunity]
Population Services International [Official Site]

• The new issue of Vanity Fair isn't out yet, but Miley Cyrus is already warning fans that she's mortified of the semi-topless pictures of herself inside. "I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed," she says. A starlet's first shameful shoot is a tale as old as time and a rite of passage, no? [Us Magazine]
  
• The Disney Channel, which airs Miley's hit show, Hannah Montana, says: "Unfortunately... A situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines." [People]
  
• Ooooh here's a shot. Provocative? It's Annie Leibovitz, of course. She's really been controversial lately. [E!]
  
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt did attend the White House Correspondents dinner on Saturday night. They sat at Fortune magazine's table. Other tidbits from that night: Colin Firth couldn't get into the Bloomberg party; Kal Penn (aka Kumar of Harold & Kumar) hung with Salman Rushie and claims he doesn't actually smoke weed; Pete Wentz shouted, "I just want to thank my girlfriend's vagina!" before he started DJing. Stay classy, D.C.! [Page Six]

• And a reader texted us from a cell phone: "Heidi & spencer are sitting behind me @ the whca dinner. Verrry touchy."
• Owen Wilson: Partying in Miami with Richie Sambora and Vince Vaughn. Just like old times! [People]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer: Went on a date in Miami. You know, they might actually be great together. [People]
• Oooh, Sheryl Crow set them up. [Enquirer]
• Joel Madden surprised Nicole Richie with a trip to the California desert for the Coachella music festival, and they brought the baby. Not to the show, to the desert. [People]
• Meanwhile: Paris Hilton and Benji Madden might actually get married. Making Paris and Nicole sisters-in-law. It's surreal, isn't it? [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse is not getting a divorce from Blake Incarcerated, despite the rumors (which we haven't heard.) [People]
• Amy's out of jail, btw, after being arrested for allegedly slapping a dude. [E!]
• Oh, wait! Amy "bonked" Blake Wood! Also known as Blake II. A source says "you could hear them down the hall." [The Sun]
• And um, this paper claims Amy has a new lover named Alex Haines. Damn, girl. [Mirror]
• Paul McCartney is "writing" a coffee table book which will contain hundreds of photos taken by his late wife Linda. [Mirror]
• Joyce Carol Oates is writing a fictionalized version of the death of pageant girl JonBenet Ramsey. [Page Six]
• Oprah's interview with Tom Cruise — which will air next week — includes her asking him about Scientology, couch-jumping and Matt Lauer. [E!]
• Tom Cruise took Connor and Isabella to see David Beckham play for the L.A. Galaxy on Saturday. No Katie, no Suri. Shocking, I know. Try and collect yourself. [TMZ]
• Ashley Dupre, Eliot Spitzer's call girl, has signed up with a top music manager, but the record labels they've been pitching have turned them down. Oh, and apparently she can't do anything that generates income until she works out a deal regarding potential charges. [Gatecrasher]
• Oh, Christ: A superfan who has seen Spamalot 40 times thinks Clay Aiken is "the savior." As in Jesus. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which methed-up TV personality tells British pals: "I always know I'm home when I see the Albert Bridge [in London], because I'm just minutes from my drug dealer's place!" [Gatecrasher]
• Fans at a Bon Jovi concert in Sunrise, FL were evacuated due to a bomb threat. Cuz they're wanted, (waaanted) dead or alive. [TMZ]
• Country singer Kenny Chesney hurt his foot at a concert in South Carolina but continued his show. His boot had to be cut off after the show, ouch. [USA Today]
• Ashley Judd's husband, Dario Franchitti, was involved in a NASCAR crash over the weekend. He wasn't injured but his car was smashed up. [Perez Hilton]
• Guy Ritchie hasn't been traveling with Madonna because someone has to stay home with the African kid while the adoption investigation is ongoing. [Perez Hilton]

*Inspired by Shirley MacLaine's assertion that the best parts for actresses fall into one of the above categories

Ashley Judd To Star In 'Helen' [Variety]
Related: Ashley Judd On Rehab: 'I Needed Help [People]

• Ashley Judd is designing an el cheapo clothing line a la Sarah Jessica Parker. The lucky recipient of this collection: The clothing chain Goody's. Which makes sense in the "paradigmatic" sense until you're like, wait a second, Ashley Judd? Who the fuck ever paid attention to her outfits? Does simultaneously belonging to the Judd family and not having big hair account for some huge personal style statement? [WWD]
  
• David Lynch is slated to direct the TV ads for the new Gucci fragrance. It would be funnier if the scent was also "inspired" by David Lynch, and we could imagine it smelling of decomposing human flesh and surrealism, but we guess this is just what you do these days when your last really memorable project was cancelled 15 years ago. [WWD]
  
• Levi's premium line, Red, is "inspired" by Japanese design. Which was funny because all the Japanese designers are ever trying to do is recreate classic Levi's. [WWD]
  
• Appearing in the new Burberry ad campaign: Up-and-coming English rocker boys lounging alongside the stable of Burberry girls Agyness Deyn, Lily Cole, Kiera Gormley, and Georgia Frost. The word the publicists have chosen to apply to this collection? "Medieval." Right. Because there is something so totally Canterbury Tales about the combination of trenchcoats and professional cokeheads. [Times of London]

• In honor of his eponoymous label's 10-year anniversary, Matthew Williamson is moving his Spring/Summer 2008 fashion show back to London after a lengthy tenure in New York. Good luck getting the fashion editors out there to see the show! [Vogue UK]
• Nautical style somehow warrants an entire exhibit featuring designs by Chanel, Yves Saint Laurent, Vivienne Westwood, Dolce & Gabbana and others at England's National Maritime Museum. Funny how the ice caps are melting into the oceans and this is what the maritime curators give us. As Lily Allen might have pointed out. [Vogue UK]