• Oy. Vey. When Mark Fast chose to use three plus-size models in his Friday show, one staffer allegedly quit in protest and the stylist was so abusive to the models that she was fired; a Telegraph stylist stepped in. [Fashionista]

This weekend's Times asked, "What is Levi Johnston after?" The Kato? The Monica? The Octomom? A full-time career trashing the Palins? We've laid out a few of his options, after the jump!

• Video: Samantha Ronson peels out of a Vegas club parking lot. A minute later, Lindsay Lohan emerges, saying, "Did she leave? She fucking left? Where's my car? I want my fucking keys now." [TMZ]

• Suck on this: Madonna will be involved in New Moon, the Twilight sequel. Her Madgesty will not only be in the film, but supply music for the soundtrack. Brain exploding, brb. [ONTD via E!]

• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long: Dunzo. Sigh. They seemed so ridiculously happy, didn't they? They've been together since August 2007, though they knew each other for seven years before getting serious. Drew's been through so much… Sniff. [Us Magazine]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince: Also splitsville! Sob. Now Cher is stuck…

Girls' softball team comes to aid of injured opposing player; warms hearts nationwide. • Army woman given Silver Star for valor in combat; removed from Army camp because of gender ineligibility for said combat. • Suburb in Chile gives free Viagra to horny seniors. • Shocker: Men have varying sexual turn-ons. •…

• Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and all of their kids have hit the French Riviera. They're staying in a villa owned by Microsoft's Paul Allen that has breathtaking views of the Mediterranean Sea. A source says: "They love France and will now be here until after the babies are born and Angie is looking at Marseille…

• Did Mariah Carey have an eye job or something? She won't walk down the red carpet without her sunglasses. If so, it's probably not her first procedure; her nose and boobs seem to have changed in the past few years. [Page Six]
  
• Also: Mariah's been wearing a giant ring that gossipers want you to think is…

• The new issue of Vanity Fair isn't out yet, but Miley Cyrus is already warning fans that she's mortified of the semi-topless pictures of herself inside. "I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed," she says. A starlet's…

• A fight broke out on the set of Pharrell's new video a few hours before Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson showed up. Oh, and the N.E.R.D. song, "Everybody Nose," is about girls waiting on line for a club bathroom to do coke. [Page Six]
  
• Hey, guess who is making a cameo appearance in that video about cocaine? Your girl…

• Photographs of Angelina Jolie's (now) unborn babies could be worth a whopping $10 million. An editor who remains anonymous actually says: "It's at the point now where some stars might decide to have more kids just to collect the money from their photos." Hahahahahaha. No. [Page Six]
  
• By the by, People's issue with La…

Joel Stein's story about the jailbound Joe Francis in the April GQ begins with Joe remembering the first time they met one another, six years ago; God it was great. They'd been in the Girls Gone Wild tour bus, watching the crew tape some chick on a bunk bed. Joe had told Joel to fill a Mike's Hard Lemonade bottle with…