dirt bag

Breaking Breakup News: Drew Barrymore & Justin Long; Kate Moss & Jamie Hince

• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long: Dunzo. Sigh. They seemed so ridiculously happy, didn't they? They've been together since August 2007, though they knew each other for seven years before getting serious. Drew's been through so much… Sniff. [Us Magazine]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince: Also splitsville! Sob. Now Cher is stuck in my head. [People]
• Matthew McConaughey is a dad! Camilla Alves gave birth to a baby boy yesterday. Matt and Camilla are both "stoked." [Us Magazine]
• Lily Allen is back with Ed Simons from the Chemical Brothers. This is according to diligent reporting by checking their Facebook profiles. [The Sun]
• Oh! And Samantha Ronson bought Lindsay Lohan a $21,000 Cartier ring. It's not an engagement ring, it's a token of her commitment. But yeah. Ah, love. [Mirror]
• James Haven and Maddox Jolie-Pitt visited Angelina Jolie in the hospital over the weekend. Still no twins! [People]
• Amy Winehouse is addicted. To tanning beds. [The Sun]

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leftovers

Diamond Girls Show Teen Spirit • Barbara Walters Admits To Affair

Girls' softball team comes to aid of injured opposing player; warms hearts nationwide. • Army woman given Silver Star for valor in combat; removed from Army camp because of gender ineligibility for said combat. • Suburb in Chile gives free Viagra to horny seniors. • Shocker: Men have varying sexual turn-ons. • Depressed gals suffer from dementia, depressed gents suffer strokes. • Ancient women in pre-Islamic Arabia had wide-ranging rights and freedoms. • No sex scandal will keep Ashley Dupre from embracing B & T roots. • Barbara Walters confesses to long-ago affair with U.S. Senator Edwards Brooke. • Boulder woman promises to never again dye her dog pink. • Poor Hispanic women eat better than poor blacks and whites. • Canada raises age of consent to 16, Degrassi Community School underclassmen complain.

dirt bag

Ooh La La! Angelina & Brad En France

• Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and all of their kids have hit the French Riviera. They're staying in a villa owned by Microsoft's Paul Allen that has breathtaking views of the Mediterranean Sea. A source says: "They love France and will now be here until after the babies are born and Angie is looking at Marseille hospitals as a potential place to give birth." [E!]
  
• These rumors about Mariah Carey marrying Nick Cannon will not die. Could they possibly be true??? [People]
  
• Gossip Girl gossip: Girl-on-girl action is on its way! [Perez Hilton]
  
• Plus! Lisa Loeb will make a cameo on Gossip Girl, playing a socialite. Hee! [LA Times]
  
• Paula Abdul spaced out or went cuckoo or something on American Idol. You can watch it here. [EW]

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dirt bag

Why Is Mariah So Shady?

• Did Mariah Carey have an eye job or something? She won't walk down the red carpet without her sunglasses. If so, it's probably not her first procedure; her nose and boobs seem to have changed in the past few years. [Page Six]
  
• Also: Mariah's been wearing a giant ring that gossipers want you to think is engagement-esque. And she's been hanging with Nick Cannon. [People]
  
• David Bowie and Iman's 7-year-old daughter, Alexandria, listens to Hilary Duff songs, at which point "David just leaves the room," Iman says. "He thinks she should be listening to underground music." [ONTD]

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dirt bag

Miley Cyrus: Fifteen & Topless in Vanity Fair

• The new issue of Vanity Fair isn't out yet, but Miley Cyrus is already warning fans that she's mortified of the semi-topless pictures of herself inside. "I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed," she says. A starlet's first shameful shoot is a tale as old as time and a rite of passage, no? [Us Magazine]
  
• The Disney Channel, which airs Miley's hit show, Hannah Montana, says: "Unfortunately... A situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines." [People]
  
• Ooooh here's a shot. Provocative? It's Annie Leibovitz, of course. She's really been controversial lately. [E!]
  
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt did attend the White House Correspondents dinner on Saturday night. They sat at Fortune magazine's table. Other tidbits from that night: Colin Firth couldn't get into the Bloomberg party; Kal Penn (aka Kumar of Harold & Kumar) hung with Salman Rushie and claims he doesn't actually smoke weed; Pete Wentz shouted, "I just want to thank my girlfriend's vagina!" before he started DJing. Stay classy, D.C.! [Page Six]

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dirt bag

Lindsay's New Role: Cokehead?

• A fight broke out on the set of Pharrell's new video a few hours before Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson showed up. Oh, and the N.E.R.D. song, "Everybody Nose," is about girls waiting on line for a club bathroom to do coke. [Page Six]
  
• Hey, guess who is making a cameo appearance in that video about cocaine? Your girl Lindsay! Classy. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Contrary to earlier reports, a source says Lindsay's album is on track to be released this fall. [People]
  
• As previously reported, Anne Hathaway's boyfriend, Italian property developer Raffaelo Follieri, was arrested for trying to pass a bad check for $250,000. [People]
  
• Also as previously reported: Naomi Campbell was arrested after a kerfluffle at Heathrow's Terminal 5, after a dispute involving a missing piece of luggage. Since Terminal 5 opened last week, more than 28,000 bags have been separated from their owners. Naomi is out on bail and must report to the police station in late May. [Yahoo News]
  
• There's some new strain of medical marijuana people are calling "Tom Cruise Purple" and guess whose lawyers are investigating? Spoil sport. [Rush & Molloy]

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clips

Ladies Of The View Pounce On Former Pimp

Jason Itzler, "The King of All Pimps", appeared on The View today, ostensibly to take us "inside the world of sex, power and money," but instead, he was attacked by the ladies on the panel. Sherri looked like she was gonna choke him with her fake pony tail; Whoopi told him he creeped her out; Joy got in his face over the definition of the word "pimp"; and Barbara tried to raise her eyebrows when he described Eliot Spitzer bedmate Ashley Dupré as having a nice tush. Strangely, Elisabeth was mostly mum. (She saves her harsher criticism for presidential candidates.) Above is a clip of the ladies clearly hating Itzler for merely existing.

dirt bag

Angelina's Unborn Kids Already Making Money

• Photographs of Angelina Jolie's (now) unborn babies could be worth a whopping $10 million. An editor who remains anonymous actually says: "It's at the point now where some stars might decide to have more kids just to collect the money from their photos." Hahahahahaha. No. [Page Six]
  
• By the by, People's issue with La Lopez twins sold between 2 and 3 million copies; Nicole Richie's cover sold 1.8 million; Christina Aguilera's sold 1.3 million. [ONTD]
  
• Russell Simmons and wife Kimora have filed for divorce — again. He filed in March 2006, but the proceedings never um, proceeded. In any case, since they have such intertwined careers and businesses, this should be interesting. [TMZ]
  
• They secretly went out two years ago, and now Matthew Perry has rekindled his relationship with Mean Girls actress Lizzy Caplan (she played Janis Ian). She's 13 years younger than he is and it's a "friends with benefits" type thing. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
  
• Tina Fey wants Ashley Dupre, aka Kristen, to be on 30 Rock. A skit involving Jack? Or Kenneth? [Page Six]
  
• Here's video of Ashley Dupre telling a Girls Gone Wild cameraman that she is over 18 and her name is Amber Arpalo. [TMZ]

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fatwas

Dear Florida Governor Charlie Crist, If You Can't Charge Joe Francis With Hate Speech, Here's An Idea

Joel Stein's story about the jailbound Joe Francis in the April GQ begins with Joe remembering the first time they met one another, six years ago; God it was great. They'd been in the Girls Gone Wild tour bus, watching the crew tape some chick on a bunk bed. Joe had told Joel to fill a Mike's Hard Lemonade bottle with water, and the girl poured it on her tits and shoved the neck of the bottle in her pussy, and sometime around then her cell phone rang. The number, she said, was her boyfriend's. So Joe Francis flipped it open gleefully — you can almost see him doing it — and announced his identity and that he was watching the caller's girlfriend shove a Mike's Hard Lemonade up her vagina. "His eyes went manic," Joel recalls of the moment, and no doubt they went manic again in fond memory of the event, because now he is in jail, although we can't seem to get rid of him, as evidenced by his charming statements touting his footage of famed Spitzer hooker Ashley Dupre at the tender age of 17: "Our footage is from when she was 18-years-old, and it doesn't get much better than that. Eliot Spitzer has put some miles on that girl!" But wait, the depressing part is here:
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