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• This week started off with a literal bang when ex-Top Model contestant Elyse Sewell was knocked around by her crap of an indie rock boyfriend, Marty Crandall of the Shins.
  
• We also had some rousing and interesting political discussions in the wake of Hillary Clinton's New Hampshire victory.
  
• Dr. Ruth advised us on period sex.
  
• And Dr. Oz advised us on pinworms, the scariest ass-affliction of all.
  
• We also learned the 5,689th reason why Jessica Alba sucks.
  
• But we learned new words this week! Like Mrs. Dranklesworth and arse trinket.
  
• Uh, those fat hookery outfits we tried on at American Apparel were a far cry from trinket town.
  
• But then Slut Machine gave us a good, ol' fashioned American Photoshop diet.
  
• All the way from Vegas! Where SM's blogging about her Adult Entertainment Expo tomfoolery. Look out for her second diary installment later tonight, and read it while you tipple on some Sizzurp, because after this week, we all deserve it.

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