arg - Jezebel

posts about #arg more →
The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

TurtleSpeak
12/13/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
I actually like my chubby arms... no matter how much I've worked out on them, the bottoms stay nice and soft. I don't care that they jiggle a bit. I hate almost everything on my body and my face but my arms... I'm cool with their imperfections. I almost think they're cute. So fuck you flabulessu. They've never got in the way of me being smart, having happy relationships, getting laid, getting a job, or feeling damn sexy (it's everything else that gets in the way of that).
Reply

TurtleSpeak was starred TurtleSpeak was unstarred

NefariousNewt
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
flabulessu.com -- Where PR flacks go to die.
Reply

NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred

Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
This is totally unrelated but I do hate those McDonald 10-piece nugget commercials with the black dude singing to the girl about some damn chicken.

It's embarrassing.
Reply

badmutha
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
For Reals, if you get your arm fat slinging around enough and you get both arms in the air, you can do a thing called a "tree slap" on somebody's head that damn near knocks them out. When you do it you have to go "TREEEEEEEEEE SLAP!" while you are waving your arms coming down on both sides of their head.

This message brought to you by Muthas of America.
Reply

badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred

Tenacious.Sparrow
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Never mind the jiggly arms, do you see that elbow fat?!

like, seriously! How can she even go out in public like that, her elbow looks so, so...human! She needs to get that area firmed immediately or at least have the decency to wear long sleeves.Gawd.

I am completely up to date on my elbow exercises. Like razor blades they are!
Reply

Tenacious.Sparrow was starred

I, Zombie Normal
12/12/08

@Besotted.Sparrow: My wrist fat is out of control. I wonder if there is a spot-reducing product on the internet I could buy for that.
Reply

I, Zombie Normal was starred I, Zombie Normal was unstarred

happysquid
12/12/08

@Besotted.Sparrow: I dunno, my earlobes are just toooooo saggy :(
Reply

happysquid was starred happysquid was unstarred

Rooo sez BISH PLZ
12/12/08

@happysquid: Scarily, there is surgery for that. True story.
Reply

Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred

happysquid
12/12/08

@Rooo sez BISH PLZ: AAAAAAAAAH that is scary!
Reply

happysquid was starred happysquid was unstarred

BeSarcastic
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Arm fat is good for strangling.
Reply

BeSarcastic was starred BeSarcastic was unstarred

I, Zombie Normal
12/12/08

@BeSarcastic: Smothering, too. Pillows are for amateurs.
Reply

I, Zombie Normal was starred I, Zombie Normal was unstarred

Samanthrax
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
I can't even handle this today- what total bullshit. Twatwaffles.
Reply

Samanthrax was starred Samanthrax was unstarred

Anna
12/12/08

@Samanthrax: Where is your amazing animated gif???? :)
Reply

Anna was starred Anna was unstarred

Samanthrax
12/12/08

@Anna: Oh yessssss...

Reply

Samanthrax was starred Samanthrax was unstarred

Dodai
12/12/08

@Samanthrax: THANK YOU.
Reply

Dodai was starred Dodai was unstarred

hellosunshine
12/12/08

@Samanthrax: Oh my God, I'm feeling vomity again today and that might make me actually vom from laughing so hard.
Reply

hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred

Samanthrax
12/12/08

@Dodai: Any chance I get to use this and I forget... please let me know. I like to watch it over and over...

@hellodarling!: Feel better! I hope I did not make you puke.
Reply

Samanthrax was starred Samanthrax was unstarred

Aesop's Foibles. YES.
12/12/08

@Samanthrax: I'M SOBBING WITH HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER. This is possibly the greatest thing i have ever seen in my life. I am madly in love with you!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply

Samanthrax
12/12/08

@terribletwenties aka Aesop's Foibles: Well, that was easy! :)
Reply

Samanthrax was starred Samanthrax was unstarred

Aesop's Foibles. YES.
12/12/08

@Samanthrax: Yeah, I'm no trouble at all. I wish i could do more cool stuff with teh internets, but I has a stoopid when it comes to teh tek-teck- uh, newfangled gadgets. Srsly, though, I almost lost control of the ol' bowels on that one.
Reply

Samanthrax
12/12/08

@terribletwenties aka Aesop's Foibles: It's just HTML... the internets can teach you, all you have to do is google the codes.
Reply

Samanthrax was starred Samanthrax was unstarred

Rooo sez BISH PLZ
12/12/08

@Samanthrax: *laughs till she cries*

I've never seen it in color.
Reply

Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred

CrossWord
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Thank god there's a website to help me. My boyfriend won't let me anywhere near his taint with my flabby arms. It was really putting a strain on our relationship.
Reply

CrossWord was starred CrossWord was unstarred

Mkp-hearts-NYC
12/12/08

@CrossWord: But didn't you show him your scrunchie collection? And all those candles?
Reply

Mkp-hearts-NYC was starred Mkp-hearts-NYC was unstarred

BeckySharper
12/12/08

@CrossWord: Didn't I read about this in Cosmo last month?
Reply

BeckySharper was starred BeckySharper was unstarred

BabyJane
12/12/08

@Mkp-hearts-Classic-Jezebel: I put the scrunchies on my upper arms so that the fat is camoflaged when I'm going for the taint. It works every time.
Reply

BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred

happysquid
12/12/08

@BeckySharper: No, I think you're confusing it with rubbing frozen GRAPEs on his taint.
Reply

happysquid was starred happysquid was unstarred

BabyJane
12/12/08

@BabyJane: *camouflaged.
Reply

BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred

I, Zombie Normal
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
I remember Janeane Garofalo joking that there were only two kinds of lady upper arms, the ones with visible biceps, and the flabby, matronly kind. I have the latter, and from what I've seen of my family, it's gonna get worse.

But you know, they call me FlabbyArms Abby because I've earned it, I can't help the way I was born. When I was younger I would cry to my mama that I wish I had been born with toned, muscly arms, but now I own that shit. Y'all just don't understand what it's like to be me.
Reply

I, Zombie Normal was starred I, Zombie Normal was unstarred

badmutha
12/12/08

@AbbyNormal: Oh honey. Your funny and insightful and your name is taken from one of the funniest movies ever. What is not to love?
Reply

badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred

badmutha
12/12/08

@badmutha: That should be "You're." I'm sincere, but not so smart.
Reply

badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred

I, Zombie Normal
12/12/08

@badmutha: :)
Reply

I, Zombie Normal was starred I, Zombie Normal was unstarred

thatsnotfab
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Well, at the very least, they got me to visit Urbancougar.com.

I laughed at "The Cougar Connection" cos I think that was also the name of our high school newsletter. Hot moms of Coronado High Schoolers represeeent!

Bahaha. What the hell is wrong with people?
Reply

thatsnotfab was starred thatsnotfab was unstarred

I, Zombie Normal
12/12/08

@thatsnotfab: I prefer Country Cougars, with all those awesome older rural babes and their big trucks and farms and such. They may not be as suave as those urban cougars, but they still have needs, you know.
Reply

I, Zombie Normal was starred I, Zombie Normal was unstarred

vamusical
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
The Arm Fat Ad was probably brought to you by the same people who ask me if I have a muffin top on Facebook 5x a day.
Reply

vamusical was starred vamusical was unstarred

BabyJane
12/12/08

@vamusical: My arm fat keeps my muffin top company while I'm working all day.
Reply

BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred

Miss-Pringle
12/12/08

@vamusical: You can flag it as offensive. I did that to all the diet ads, don't get them anymore.
Reply

Miss-Pringle was starred Miss-Pringle was unstarred

vamusical
12/12/08

@Miss-Pringle: I gave it a thumbs down, and they still appeared, but didn't flag it. I don't get them anymore, though. Now I just get ads to meet Christian Singles, all containing toolish looking men.
Reply

vamusical was starred vamusical was unstarred

I, Zombie Normal
12/12/08

@vamusical: On myspace (yes, I AM a dork), there's this series of ads for this acai berry diet thingy, As Seen on Oprah! but I keep seeing one that claims it's the Celbrity Diet Aid (sic)- yes, all them celbrities are all over this, don's miss out! Maybe it's intentional, so if they get questioned they can say, "Well, we never said any celebrities used our product. Maybe you should read more carefully."
Reply

I, Zombie Normal was starred I, Zombie Normal was unstarred

Rooo sez BISH PLZ
12/12/08

@BabyJane: So your arm fat brings all the muffin top to the yard?

Or something like?
Reply

Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred

Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin)
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
I'm imagining UrbanCougar.com as a parody website with Jennifer Coolidge posed in skinny jeans and some unnecessarily belted faux-hippie top, just staring emptily at a patch of grass because LIFE. IS. SO. HARD.
Reply

Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka
12/12/08

@Mmmmkay: Coolidge FTW.
Reply

formergr
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Wait-- Oprah definitely doesn't have arm flab in that picture, she looks pretty toned. That's the best example they could come up with? Caroline doesn't look like it either. And what a bizarre pitch or issue to form a whole product around.
Reply

formergr was starred formergr was unstarred

dianersb was bit by a zombie
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
I have no idea what they (the people sending the email) are talking about. The arrow seems to be pointing to that butterfly/i-still-think-it-might-be-a-pony... tattoo, and the Oprah looks really good in that photo.

Are they saying that I look good and have a tattoo? Because thank on the former and no, actually I don't have a tattoo (anymore).
Reply

badmutha
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Oh see, I figured I had a love of democratic causes and dedication to philanthropy in common with C. Schloss and Oprah. But I see what you mean about the arms. Silly me!
Reply

badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#arg

Jezebel

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel

The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment