It's Not Easy Building Apps for Cats (Because Cats Are Picky Jerks)

Apps for cats make sense in theory—they'll chase a laser pointer, so why not a digital critter racing around a touchscreen? But as anyone who's cycled through several brands of pet food will attest, cats are picky little cretins. Designing for them isn't as easy as slapping a mouse on a background and watching the… » 7/21/14 12:00pm Yesterday 12:00pm

Vibrator App Reviews Are a Desolate Swampland of Youthful Regret

Bringing oneself to orgasm with a series of rhythmic vibrations: there's an app for that. It's called "iVibe Massager Lite," and its user reviews are inordinately high — because most of them are bribes from remorseful youths who do not want "The First! The Best! The Original Vibrating iPhone App!" to remain on their… » 7/02/14 4:45pm 7/02/14 4:45pm

App That Lets You Rate Your Coworkers Sounds Like the Worst Idea Ever

Relationships with coworkers are tricky—ideally you want to be friendly but professional, close enough to have fun but not so close you can't maintain boundaries, assertive but not overbearing, aware of the inherent competition without undermining anyone. So that's why Knozen, a new app that "let[s] users compare… » 7/02/14 12:00pm 7/02/14 12:00pm

The 'Quirky' Version of Tinder Is Here and It's Awful

There's a new service out there for people who like the convenience of mobile phone dating apps, but are turned off by the shallowness of Tinder. Loveflutter, for "Quirky People and Places," will help you find matches in your area not through superficial photos (although those are requested, too), but through a… » 6/04/14 6:15pm 6/04/14 6:15pm

Need to Calculate Your Bride Price? There's an App for That

If you ever wanted to calculate exactly how much a groom and his family would have to fork over to buy you as his bride, developers in Nigeria have made an app for that. BridePrice app calculates your worth by asking questions on appearance, education, homemaking skills, etc., then — ta-dah! — spits out your price. » 5/30/14 2:40pm 5/30/14 2:40pm

New App Will Help Keep You Safe When You're Walking Home Alone

As much as I like to grumble about how women's movement is limited by a world that makes us afraid to walk alone at night — it's something I grumble about whenever my mom forwards me a chain email that's like, "IF YOU'RE LEAVING THE MALL GET INTO YOUR CAR THROUGH THE PASSENGER'S SEAT!!!" — the fact remains that… » 4/17/14 6:50pm 4/17/14 6:50pm

Model Lily Cole Has Created a App For Granting Wishes

Finally, someone has harnessed the true power of technology to give us the future we deserve: one that is full of wish-granting and the tender realization that magic has always existed (but, like, in the power of the human heart). By this I mean that former model Lily Cole — who is especially qualified for the task… » 3/24/14 1:30pm 3/24/14 1:30pm

New 'Avoid Humans' App Helps Ensure That You'll Remain Forever Alone

Ever want to get out of the house even though you have no real desire to interact with other human beings? There's an app for that! Avoid Humans is the new web app that will warn you about which restaurants, bars and museums are more packed with the yelling, stinking, socializing masses (so you can avoid them,… » 3/07/14 1:30pm 3/07/14 1:30pm

Practice Eating Pussy by Licking Your Phone's Filthy Screen

As Superbad star and Oscar nominee Jonah Hill once said in one of his most criminally underrated performances: You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy. You probably don't want them to think you're bad at eating it, either. Problem is, for people who have never attempted performing oral sex on a… » 3/06/14 6:10pm 3/06/14 6:10pm

I Tried BroApp and It Did Not Turn Me Into an Awesome Boyfriend

Every day on my way to work, I spend the entire train ride deleting inane press releases from my email inbox. Diet pills? Delete. A series of seminars on how to convince your boyfriend to propose? Delete. The launch of a new cake flavored vodka made especially for tampon soakage? .... Archive. But the other week, one… » 3/05/14 12:58pm 3/05/14 12:58pm

Threesome App Promises to Make Threesomes Slightly Less Awkward

There are apps for almost everything in the entire goddamn world — from preventing drunk dials to charting bowel movements to virtual zit popping — so it was really only a matter of time before the world was introduced to an app that allows couples — or adventurous singles — to use their smartphones to arrange… » 2/21/14 3:30pm 2/21/14 3:30pm

How Long Are You Banging in Bed? A State-by-State Guide

How much time do you spend in bed actually having sex? Think about it and now ponder what state you live in and how that might effect your sexy time. Got your estimate? Well, it’s already blown to shit by a new app called Spreadsheets, which will really tell you how much vibration you’re getting by your location — in… » 2/19/14 4:30pm 2/19/14 4:30pm