Thanks to State Budget Cuts, Pregnant Teens Aren’t Getting Enough…

According to a new report from the AP, pregnant teenagers are being seriously let down by a web of uneven education support programs that have been decimated by funding cuts in states such as Wisconsin and California. Though many public schools insist that they cannot afford "costly support programs," those programs… » 11/23/12 3:00pm 11/23/12 3:00pm

Funny or Die Is Casting a Paula Broadwell Look-A-Like for a Mock Sex…

Are you a non-unionized, female, Caucasian, ethnically ambiguous, 30-45-year-old actor looking to break through with a timely role in a mock sex tape? If you are, then Funny or Die wants you to audition for a role in what will surely be a hilarious General Petraeus sex tape, which you'd star in alongside a… » 11/23/12 12:45pm 11/23/12 12:45pm

New CDC Report Shows That Abortion Is on the Decline Thanks to More…

According to the latest report from the CDC, U.S. abortions fell by five percent during the recession and its aftermath, a phenomenon that most likely, insist some researchers, owing to the greater diligence with which women use contraception during tough economic times. Though many states have unfortunately and… » 11/22/12 3:30pm 11/22/12 3:30pm

Holiday Gifts for the Truly Charitable Do-Gooder in Your Life

What do you, the most unabashedly selfish and inconsiderate member of your friend group, buy this holiday season for that one person in your life whose giving is not restricted by our Gregorian calendar? To defeat the charitable people in the world, we must first understand the charitable people in the world, and the… » 11/22/12 2:00pm 11/22/12 2:00pm

We're All So Busy Texting That We Forgot How to Talk to Each Other

Remember those good old days when we all used to sit around in the parlor and snipe cleverly to each other's faces? Remember when we used to spend hours (and $$) making long-distance calls to our far flung loved ones? Remember when we used to leave each other voicemails? Man, those were the days. But now it is all… » 6/04/12 10:50am 6/04/12 10:50am

Way Too Many Americans Have Neither Seen Nor Read Inherit the Wind

It's Sunday, the day, if you believe in supernatural phenomena like a fairy that collects human teeth or a morbidly obese saint that delivers toys each winter to all the illegitimate children he fathered, that a patriarchal Old Testament God with a capital "G" gave up on making Earth out of intergalactic clay because… » 6/03/12 1:00pm 6/03/12 1:00pm

Ben Romney Insists that His Mom Did Too Work Raising Five Little…

Ben Romney, the snarl-smile son of Mitt and Ann Romney, has insisted that, despite what professional noise-maker Hilary Rosen said about Ann having "never worked a day in her life," his mom did too work — she raised five little Romneys all by herself while Mittens feasted on jobs and money at Bain Capital. » 4/14/12 2:30pm 4/14/12 2:30pm

Stop Talking About How More Women Should Be Going Gray

Well, ladies and gentleman, we seem to have reached that special time that comes once ever two years or so when we again become aware that having gray hair is a "thing." A silly trend piece is written about how some women have made the bold decision not to hide the deeply shameful sign that they are basically decrepit… » 4/03/12 12:00pm 4/03/12 12:00pm

Brave 80-Year-Old Woman Lands Plane After Her Pilot Husband Dies at the…

When it comes to worst nightmares, there are so many options that it can be hard to decide what's the actual worst case scenario. But this experience ranks right up there: An 80-year-old woman was a passenger in the small twin-engine plane her husband was flying near their home in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin. Suddenly her… » 4/02/12 11:55pm 4/02/12 11:55pm

Anne Frank Was A Bossy BFF • Honor Killings Rise In Southern Iraqi City

• In her book My Name is Anne, She Said, Anne Frank Jacqueline Van Maarsen, Anne Frank's best friend, claims that the noted diarist and Holocaust victim was an extroverted girl who made bossy demands on their friendship. • The Iranian government will set up marriage bureaus to help Iranians find suitable husbands and… » 12/01/08 5:30pm 12/01/08 5:30pm