• The new single from a singer named Lola is actually a track by Jennifer Lopez.

The song, titled "Fresh out the Oven," features Pitbull and is something La Lopez did "for the streets." [NY Daily News]

• Mary-Kate Olsen could have played a socialite teen vampire on TV, except the CW failed to pick up the show Blue Bloods, based on the book by Melissa de la Cruz. [Gatecrasher]
• Ellen Page will produce and write an HBO comedy called Stitch N' Bitch with Alia Shawkat and Sean Tillman. "The show follows two painfully cool hipster girls as they relocate from Brooklyn's Williamsburg neighborhood to Los Angeles' Silver Lake enclave in hopes of becoming artists — of any kind." [Reuters]
• The Russell Brand/Katy Perry romance is heating up: He texted her a love poem; she replied with a topless photo of herself. [Page Six]
• An Australian variety show has apologized for a skit involving singers parodying the Jackson Five and performing in blackface. Harry Connick Jr., who was a judge on the show, called the skit "disgusting." [AP]
• Carla Bruni claims she is in a never-ending "beauty contest" with the spouses of other world leaders; and considers Michelle Obama and Princess Letizia of Spain her rivals. [NY Daily News]
• All Hail Barbra Streisand, who beat Mariah Carey on the Billboard chart. [Ny Daily News]
• An "insider" tells the National Enquirer that Mackenzie Phillips worked as a "jet-setting call girl" in her late 20s — when she was pregnant with her son Shane. [Daily Express]
• Madonna's buying Jesus Luz a £1.7 million apartment; she's not ready to move him into the house with her four kids, but she's looking for something in walking distance of her Upper East Side townhouse. [Telegraph]
• Conan O'Brien and Newark Mayor Cory Booker have been feuding over the last two weeks, but Booker is ready to "bury the hatchet." In a written statement, O'Brien said he may not be ready to abandon Newark as a joke topic: "I want to again reiterate, I have only the highest respect for Mayor Cory Booker and the city of Newark, New Jersey — one of America's oldest, greatest, and most enduring punchlines." [CNN]
• R. Kelly has revealed that he suffers from illiteracy. "When I was trying to make it out here, I already knew, and I was stubborn about it," he says. "I don't even read really and I'm not afraid to say that. My cousins and brothers used to tease me 'you can't even read right. How you think you're going to come up?' The only reason I graduated from grammar school is because I had a great jump shot. I went to high school and [my teacher] told me 'you will one of the greatest writers of all time.' I believed. You [have to] believe it. You can't believe [anything] if you're hating. You can't achieve [anything] if you're hating." [AOL Music]
• Gloria Allred is accusing David Letterman of "sexual favoritism." [MSNBC]
• Remember when Joe Francis attacked Jayde Nicole in a club? Apparently the incident was caught on a security cam video. You definitely see him drag her off of a barstool by the hair. [Radar Online]
• Michael Vick is getting his own show on BET. It's a "docu-series" spotlighting his comeback in football and also his difficult childhood and dog-fighting ring bust. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kate Gosselin made fun of her mommy image in a skit on Jay Leno's show last night, telling photographers, "Leave me alone. Hey, what did Mommy say? I asked you to stop taking pictures and you continued… Go to your room," [ET]
• "Jon Gosselin: Kate is 'trying to prevent me from seeing my kids on their birthday.'" Eyeroll. [NY Daily News]
• Sponsors don't seem to give a shit that David Letterman hooked up with employees — there was a Disney commercial during his Tuesday show. [NY Times]
• Beastie Boy Adam Yauch had a cancerous tumor removed from his left parotid gland and says, "I'm taking Tibetan medicine and at the recommendation of the Tibetan doctors I've been eating a vegan/organic diet. I'm feeling healthy, strong and hopeful that I've beaten this thing, but of course time will tell." [TMZ]
• Julia Stiles and Bill Pullman are in the Broadway production of David Mamet's Oleanna. Stiles says: "I feel like Carol is one of the more well developed female parts he's written. There's something so interesting to me about how relentless and confrontational Carol is. For better or worse she's a force to be reckoned with. David Mamet is really good at writing characters that are flawed. There's something so fascinating about them in their bluntness." [NY Times]
• LisaRaye's new reality show will tell unflattering stories about Star Jones, Vivica A. Fox, and more. [Gatecrasher]
• "Prosecutors have declined to press charges against the sheriff's deputy who arrested Mel Gibson three years ago, citing a lack of proof he leaked details about the case." [AP]
• Alicia Keys is starting a new company, featuring a range of products; first up is The Barber's Daughters, handcrafted jewelry engraved with messages of hope. [Mirror]
• Stephanie Seymour's going through a divorce, and husband Peter Brant says she spent $50,000 a month on new clothes alone. [Gatecrasher]
• Matt Lucas's ex, Kevin McGee, who hanged himself Monday, had recently confessed his suicidal thoughts to a stranger at a gay bar. [The Sun]
• In the entertaining piece at the link, Phyllida Law — Emma Thompson's mother — talks about her daughter's struggle to have children, her adopted son from Rwanda, and her hoarding habit. [Daily Mail]
• Is Antonia Kidman getting married at her sister Nicole Kidman's estate in Sutton Forest, New South Wales, Australia? [News.com.au]
• Michael Sheen (The Queen, Frost Nixon, Underworld) plays legendary self-destructive soccer manager Brian Clough in a film called The Damned United, which is being called Sheen's "best performance of his big-screen career." [USA Today]
• Oh, yeah, and Michael Sheen also plays an Italian vampire in New Moon. But you already knew that. Twihard. [USA Today]
• Whatshername, the cagefighter, crossdressing, etc. [The Sun]
• "I love Susie Greene - she is so freeing. I analyze things from every which way. She just reacts without any kind of censor. Everything is an indignity, and she is absolutely sure of herself in every single response. All those doubts held me back for years: I wasn't good enough, I wasn't pretty enough, is this the right dress to wear? Susie Greene thinks she is drop-dead gorgeous and everything she chooses to put on is drop-dead gorgeous. Imagine being like that." — Susie Essman on her Curb Your Enthusiasm character. [NY Times]
• Q: What's your take on the Letterman sex scandal? Many people feel it's hypocrisy for him to throw darts at other's sexual misconduct when he's apparently been no better.
  A: "Here's the difference. A — it's his job to do that. And B — it just shows people don't really know what the story's about, which is the extortion. It has nothing to do with sex. And we're idiots when it comes to sexuality. We still think if you're single, you're a slut, you're awful! You should get married. People have sex! That's it. It's not the end of the world. It's really no big deal." — comedian Lewis Black. [Reuters]
• "Heath was just so full of ideas and fresh dialogue and so unbelievably fast and inventive. He was still, in some sense, speeding from playing The Joker, which had liberated him in a way that he had never experienced before. He was always telling me 'I am doing things in scenes that I didn't know was inside me. I cannot believe it.'" director Terry Gilliam, who cast Heath Ledger in The Imaginarium Of Dr. Parnassus. [Mirror]
• Check out Heath in a trailer at the link. [NY Daily News]
• "We gave our blessing. We decided that it was so touching and that it should go on the air. It was a wonderful testament to the work Adam did. I only wish he were here to help so many more." — DJ AM's mother, Andrea Gross, who decided that his show should go on the air on MTV. [TMZ]
• "I don't know how to swim. So, I never spent any time on a beach. That's the good news. The bad news is that if you are drowning, I cannot rescue you." — Bernadette Peters, at a skin cancer event. [Page Six]
• "I would do 20 Vicodin in a night. I was on my way out. I might have been 24 hours away from dying." — Robbie Williams. [The Sun]
• "She's a manifester, if there ever was one. First-rate manifester. Madonna makes things happen. Put Madonna up against any 23-year-old, she'll outwork them, outdance them, outperform them. The woman is broad. And, of course, here you go: I still love her. But she's retarded, too." — Guy Ritchie, to Esquire. [MSNBC Scoop]

• Courtney Love "went nuts" when a guest at a party opened an unlocked bathroom and saw her on the toilet with her skirt around her ankles.

Apparently she launched herself at the dude, and though people tried to calm her down, a security guy told the man: "It's best you get away as fast as possible." [Page Six]

• Backstage at the Emmys, Paramedics were called for Kristin Chenoweth, who complained of a migraine headache and then said she couldn't open her eyes. [Access Hollywood]
• More backstage Emmys drama: A fight between Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff got "kind of loud." Apparently they were "screaming at each other"after he said she took too long in hair and makeup. [E!]
• Mad Men and 30 Rock were big winners at the Emmys last night. [NY Daily News]
• Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs won the weekend box office; Jennifer Aniston's Love Happens came in fourth — one of her worst openings in years — and Jennifer's Body placed fifth. [Ny Daily News]
• "Mr. T's Chance of Meatballs character fits him to a T." [USA Today]
• Kate Gosselin taped her Mom Logic TV show pilot over the weekend, and even though guests Mel B and Christie Brinkley were nixed, a source says the taping "went extremely well" and "Kate did great." [Radar]
• Congrats! Zooey Deschanel married Death Cab For Cutie singer Ben Gibbard Saturday night near Seattle. [People]
• Did you know that Susan Sarandon has been a member of a Ping-Pong society for years? [NY Magazine]
• From a profile on Madonna: "Scented Christian Dior candles fill the air in a space so dimly lit, it seems both slightly theatrical and quasi-religious. A huge telephone with multiple extensions bears labels such as M study, M dressing room, M bathroom, Laundry, Music Room, Kitchen, Mews." And: "A lot of people are just really confused by me… They don't know what to think of me, so they try to compartmentalize me or diminish me. Maybe they just feel unsafe. But any time you have an overtly emotional or irrational, negative reaction to something, you're fearing something that it's bringing up in you." [Times Of London]
• Paula Abdul almost refused to co-present with Kathy Griffin at the VH1 Divas concert because of all the insulting jokes Kathy had made. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse was leaving a nightclub recently when a passerby shouted "Oi Amy, where's your crack pipe?" [The Sun]
• Heidi Klum and Seal can't decide on a name for the baby girl they are expecting. Seal says: "It has been the topic of debate for the last month. We can't quite figure it out. I'm a firm believer that she will pop out and will tell us what she wants to be called." [Mirror]
• Charlize Theron's nude scene in The Burning Plain — in which she smokes a cigarette while standing at a window in full view of passersby in Portland, OR — was shot at 6 a.m. to avoid paparazzi. [Page Six]
• Oprah had a block party in Chicago and paid more than $54,000 for city services. [Ny Post]
• Joy Behar would love to get Sarah Palin on her new show on HLN and talk to her about the "real America." "It's insulting to men like my father, who fought in World War II, whom she doesn't think are real Americans because we don't agree with her." Joy also says: "Look, it's not that I'm contentious; I'm uncompromising. I'm friendly, but I can't let things go unchallenged. And I intend to give my opinions quite profusely. I might even have to interrupt myself." [New York Magazine]
• New couple? Kid Cudi and Amanda Bynes??? [Gatecrasher]
• They're saying Mischa Barton's a mess in the morning and needs someone to "fix" her coffee, but who isn't and who doesn't? [Page Six]
• So what is up with that Taylor Momsen record contract that allows her singing on Gossip Girl and the "Runaways Project"? She's not in the Runaways movie! Was she was supposed to get Dakota Fanning's part? Or does she have a secret cameo? [TMZ]
• Beth Ditto has banned her girlfriend from touring with her: "[It's] not because I don't think she can handle it, but because that's my life. Say what you want about me. Say it to my face, say it behind my back, write it on the fucking bathroom mirror, I don't care. But do not talk about the people I love. I will lose my mind." [NME]
• An ambulance was called to David Hasselhoff's house yesterday; apparently his 17-year-old daughter, who was home with him, called her mother, saying that David was extremely drunk. A friend of Pamela's called 911. [TMZ, TMZ]
• January Jones, aka Mad Men's Betty Draper, has purchased a lovely home in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A., and you can see the pix at the link. [The Real Estalker]
• The Guinness World Records board has refused to let the White Stripes into their record book for playing a one-note concert, due to insufficient interest. Twelve hundred people showed up to a gig in Canada where Jack White played an E. [Mirror]
• Stephen Moyer on his engagement to Anna Paquin: "It was very intimate and quite surprising for her, I think, and we were by ourselves at dinner in Hawaii and...I surprised her. But it was something that surprised me probably more than it surprised her." He also says: "She is very funny and very frank and very direct and beautiful… She doesn't take any of my nonsense." [E!]
• David Arquette and Ben Harper have a clothing line called Propr, and Arquette says: ""We love the idea of chivalry and going in an old-school barber… There's a quality that's in the finer details, like they really thought it out a step further." More from "A Night Out" with the duo at the link. [NY Times]
• Ryan O'Neal visited Farrah Fawcett's grave after their son, Redmond, was ordered to leave jail and go to rehab for a year. [Daily Mail, USA Today]
• Nicole's sister Antonia Kidman is engaged to Singapore-based banker Craig Marran. [News.com.au]
• Terry Gilliam got Johnny Depp to tango for The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus even though Johnny allegedly said "Men don't dance." [Mirror]
• Oy: Sacha Baron Cohen will play an Israeli tour guide on The Simpsons. [UPI]
• From a piece on John Malkovich's new film, Disgrace, set in post-apartheid South Africa: "[Malkovich's character] Lurie appears the virtual embodiment of white male arrogance, an English professor who views himself through the prism of Romantic poetry and who pursues an exploitive, obsessive affair with a much younger, mixed-race student. You can't say that he rapes her, but the issue of consent between an inexperienced young woman and a practiced seducer — one with direct power over her academic future — is complicated, to say the least." [Salon]
• Will Diddy switch record labels? [Page Six]
• Scott Weiland had a seizure on a plane while en route from Los Angeles to Florida, causing the plane to land in Dallas-Fort Worth; he is "doing great" now. [E!]
• Larry King hates frivolous lawsuits. [TMZ]
• John Travolta may be a witness at the trial for two people accused of trying to extort $25 million from him after his son died in the Bahamas. [AP]
• John Travolta says if he is called to testify, he will do so. [ET]
• Sources say John Travolta's testimony will be dramatic and emotional. [TMZ]
• Ozzy Osbourne's new memoir describes appearing on the MTV show The Osbournes as "terrifying" and like being "strapped to a rocket and being blasted through the stratosphere at warp factor ten." [Mirror]
• Leonard Cohen is recovering after collapsing on stage during a show in Spain; he reportedly had food poisoning. [UPI]
• James Blunt is accusing internet service providers of "handling stolen goods" by allowing file sharing and illegal downloads. [Telegraph]
• Anoushka Shankar, Ravi Shankar's daughter, had been the victim of a blackmail plot; an arrest has been made. [Independent]
• District 9 is not welcome in Nigeria. [NY Post]
• "Frustrated cops probing Jordan's claim to have been raped by a celebrity said yesterday they could do no more unless she co-operates." [The Sun]
• "You're not going to be successful. You're not going to be millionaires (with the exception of MAYBE Kris and Adam). No one will care about you. Those fans who've been asking for your autograph all tour long - 98 percent of them don't give a flying poo about you once next season of Idol starts. In other words, your days of being a star are over. But that's all right - so are mine… The music business, for the most part, will treat you like an outsider… You are just a game show contestant who still needs to prove why you should be here. Move to a music city. L.A., New York or Nashville Leave home and live WAY below your means." — Chris Sligh, former American Idol contestant, to other Idol singers, on his blog. [NY Post]
• "I was never in the high, high fashion industry. I was never one of those superskinny, supertall waif girls who goes from show to show. When you do more commercial things, your weight is allowed to fluctuate a bit. Not every inch counts. It's hard for the girls. How old are they? Fifteen, 16? Some girls are naturally thin and can eat whatever they want. When I was 15, 16, there was not one ounce of fat on me, but some other girls have to work hard to stay like that. But the rules are not made by the models. To be part of this, they have to be the size the designer wants them to be. I'm not that skinny, and I never was, but I can pretty much eat whatever I want." — Heidi Klum. [Page Six Magazine]
• "My dream was always to work in a candy store. It was because of my obsession with candy; I don't have it any more, now that my teeth are all rotten. I did go to a university for a year, as shocking as that might sound to people, and there was a candy shop that I used to go to all the time, an old-fashioned one where all the candy was in these big glass jars. I used to go in there and look at all the candy and think, ‘God, it would be really cool to work in here; I could have candy whenever I wanted.' So I did want the keys to the candy store, but I had different keys." —Madonna. [Times of London]
• "At first, I didn't know whether I'd be healthy enough to film a full season of an action-packed drama series. But soon I realized there was nothing I wanted to do more. We got in touch with the network to let them know about my diagnosis and I sent this message: 'Don't count me out. I can do this.' All I could think was: 'If I'm going out, I'd rather go out on a high note, doing quality work I believe in.'" — From Patrick Swayze's memoir, on doing The Beast with a cancer diagnosis. [Daily Mail]
• "We need to be the example of respect, of tolerance, and just how to be civil, can we do that? Even though I didn't win the crown that night I know that the Lord has so much of a bigger crown in heaven for me. I never asked to be thrown into politics… but you know what, I'm proud of the stance that I took and I'm glad that God upheld me for such a time as this." — Carrie Prejean. [NY Daily News]
• "Forget about playing Tony Blair. When I told her I was definitely playing vampire Aro in Twilight, she cried. She was so overwhelmed and annoyed that I muscled in on something that was hers. She's already told me she'll be my date for the premiere." — Michael Sheen's 10-year-old daughter, Lily is excited about his career for once. [Page Six]

• Here's the first picture of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick with their new twins, Marion and Tabitha Broderick. Big brother James, are you ready for double trouble? [TMZ]

• Britney Spears has dark hair and something that looks like an engagement ring. What does it mean??? [NY Daily News]
• Uh-oh: Us Weekly dropped $120,000 for exclusive rights to Kendra Wilkinson's wedding, but the death of Michael Jackson will push her bridal bliss off the cover. [Page Six]
• Will Michael Jackson's body be put on display in a coffin of glass, like Eva Peron? [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson's mother has been granted temporary guardianship of his three kids. [LA Times]
• According to a source, Michael Jackson almost died once before — in 2004 — he was unconscious and had to be revived. [Fox News]
• Michael Jackson's doctor didn't call 911 for a half hour after finding MJ unconscious. [TMZ]
• The LAPD is trying to identify and interview "multiple doctors" who treated or prescribed medicine to Michael Jackson. [LA Times]
• Michael Jackson's mother Katherine is worried about people stealing from MJ's estate. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe has been reaching out to the Jackson family, but has been unsuccessful. [People]
• A will drafted by Michael Jackson in 2002 may be released this week. [WSJ]
• "Michael Jackson's Last Art Purchase." A wicked witch painting. [TMZ]
• "Michael Jackson was spending £30,000 a month on prescription drugs," says this paper, which lied to us yesterday. [The Sun]
• "Michael Jackson's Death: Sorting Fact From Fiction." A run down of all the claims and contradictions. [NY Daily News]
• Two weeks before he died, Michael Jackson completed a video project; his last. [AP]
• Expect some "instant" Michael Jackson books — some due by the end of the week, one coming in July. [AP]
• Michael Jackson's "This Is It" tour is being transformed into a tribute concert in September, and Madonna may take part. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Here is Lindsay Lohan posing like Michael Jackson. [NY Daily News]
• Ladies and gentlemen, a statement from Jon and Kate Gosselin: "During this very difficult time we will be working to focus solely on the needs of our family. This includes no longer commenting publicly or reacting to media stories and speculation. Our goal is to do the very best for our children and that will be done as privately as possible. We appreciate the understanding, support and well wishes from so many. Thank you." [TLC]
• Chris Brown was not at the BET Awards because Al Sharpton and Jay-Z were "very vocal" with producers about not letting him appear. [Gatecrasher]
• A source says: "Jay-Z wasn't having it. He threatened to pull out of the show if Chris was involved, so BET dropped Chris." [Page Six]
• Chris Brown's friend Teairra Mari says: "He's sorry. That's my friend, and I love Chris. He's a good kid-he just made a mistake. He knows that and feels terrible about it." [E!]
• Justin Timberlake went out boozing with Guy Ritchie, and guess which one went home at 2:30am and which one stayed in the pub? Guy was in it til the bitter end. [The Sun]
• How is the filming of The Runaways going? Well, Joan Jett made Kristen Stewart cry. So. [Gatecrasher]
• Some GQ Brüno pictures in which the character is posing with a high school football team have infuriated a school official in L.A., who says: "We've allowed our students to be used, and not in the most glamorous circumstances either." [UPI]
• Susan Boyle on Ugly Betty? Why, yes. [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse has been banned from taking in any more stray dogs after resort management had to fumigate her house in St. Lucia. [The Sun]
• George Clooney is not dead. Why are there so many death pranks? That shit is not funny. [TMZ]
• Kate Moss's boyfriend Jamie Hince is getting tired of Kate's lengthy karaoke sessions and is limiting her to half an hour a day. [The Sun]
• Lady GaGa visited an HIV Support Centre in Manchester, UK yesterday, and said: "I've been doing volunteer work since I was two." She also said: "I want to make it fashionable to have safe sex. You must be safe. You can have sex with hundreds of people with a condom on and get nothing. If you have sex without one, then you could get all sorts of problems." To which this paper asks, "Speaking from experience?" [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher is Tweeting for the White House. No, really. [Politico]
• Kathy Griffin on NPR! "NPR listeners, I know who you are. I know you guys read books, which I find tedious. You guys might try a book called Us Weekly. OK? It's a really good book. It has a lot of pictures." [NPR]
• Megan Fox spent the weekend in Las Vegas with Brian Austin Green. Back together? [E!]
• Someone threw a drink on Anna Kournikova at a club in Vegas and the tennis player "sprang into action," showing and screaming at the lady. [Page Six]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur continues to blog about her "weight loss journey." She writes: "I downloaded the video of Beyoncé's 'Single Ladies' and started to learn her dance. Let me tell you, if I ever did that dance in a club I would still be a single lady!!! But what a workout! It was free and fun and it kept my son very entertained – it was like a real-life Muppet danced out of his TV and into the living room. It kept him and, sadly, my husband very amused for almost an hour." [People]
• "Hollywood stars Antonio Banderas And Melanie Griffiths' Garden Seized As Spain Cracks Down On Illegal Coastal Homes." They'll lose their 40 foot swimming pool! [Daily Mail]
• Is Antonia Kidman — sister of Nicole and TV personality in Australia — addicted to exercise? [News.com.au]
• Redmond O'Neal with be allowed to leave jail to attend his mother Farrah Fawcett's funeral. [People]
• Law And Order: SVU fans, take note: Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay have finally signed on to stay for two more seasons. [Variety]
• Amy Adams is in negotiations to star alongside Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg in boxing drama The Fighter. [Variety]
• Some kind of drama involving Kanye West's bisexual girlfriend Amber Rose and a singer named Nicki Minaj, who Amber hit on? [ONTD]
• Here's a Q&A with Wilco's Jeff Tweedy, who says: "We did get word that whoever's in charge of loading [Barack Obama's] iPod requested the record and we got the record in." [Time]
• Best wishes to 92-year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor, who is out of the hospital after a 6-day stay for flu-like symptoms. [AP]
• The Nutty Professor is coming to Broadway, and Jerry Lewis will direct. [AP]
• Whatshername and Whatshisname: fighting in public. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which former boy bander looked oh-so-strung-out over the weekend? His diet of booze and nose candy certainly isn't helping his skin-and-bones appearance." [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't watch TV comedy in the UK anymore. We've got some poor copies of Curb Your Enthusiasm, some poor copies of Entourage and some poor copies of Seinfeld. With a few exceptions the Americans seem to be ahead of the game." — Ricky Gervais. [The Sun]
• "I pointed to a spot where I told him I wanted to be buried. Michael had a meltdown right then and there when he heard this. He shrieked and bent over and said, 'No, no, no.' [He said,] 'Don't ever talk about your dying. Don't ever think about it.' I couldn't pretend to understand him. There were so many complicated signals. Did he want me to be his 'older woman' friend? He gravitated to older women. For solace? Succor? A beard? Did he want me to teach him the ropes? I never could quite figure it out." — Jane Fonda, on her relationship with Michael Jackson. [E!]
• "I wish I could say that I was inspired by him for a role, I was inspired by him because I think he was a great artist but he was not the inspiration for Willy Wonka contrary to what most people say. No no no, I never ever thought of playing Michael Jackson in a film, I think if anyone should play Michael Jackson in a film it should've been Michael Jackson. A mother and a father have lost a son, siblings have lost a brother and millions of people around the world have lost someone they love. Children have lost a father so it's obviously a very sad, sad moment." — Johnny Depp. [The Star]
• "At the moment I feel like I need to go away and figure out what I want to do and be myself for a bit. I just want to take a step back from it and not rush into stuff. I need university to give me that break. People think because I'm going to university I'm never going to act again, but it's actually me… I want to… figure out how I feel about everything first. Maybe I'll keep acting, maybe I won't. I just want to find something where I feel I have to do this. Maybe that'll happen when I read a script. It felt like that with Hermione. I want to feel like that again." — Emma Watson, who will attend Columbia University in the fall. [Elle UK, NY Daily News]

The Good:
Faustina "Fuzzy" Agolley is one of the few nods to the 21st century.


Rebecca Gibney brings the obligatory "lady in red" element necessary to any 80's-inflected do.


Antonia Kidman maintains the family rep for understated elegance.


Tracy Grimshaw's caftan is Psychic Hotline fab!


Annie Lennox's velvet is a little 30s bombshell, a little 80's priestess, a lot Diva.


Pippa Black brings just enough - or should I say, just little enough - 80's glam.


The Bad:
As Nadine Garner proves, catcher's chest guard plus Swan Lake costume, while bold, is a few sammies short of a picnic.


Oh noes! A moth has gotten to Lee Furlong's mini!


Kate Ritchie's 1986 priestess, while terrifying, is...terrifying.


Tasma Walton gives the lie to the old saw that throwing a transparent skirt over a mini is a quick fix. One could, in fact, call this notion "mad as a cut snake."


The Barbie!
Sonia Kruger: Ocean Carnival Barbie.


Margot Robbie: Halloween Glamour Barbie


Jennifer Hawkins: Peaches 'n Cream Barbie


Dannii Minogue: Grecian Goddess Barbie


Jessica McNamee: Sydney Princess Barbie


Kylie Gillies: Reagan Inaugural Barbie


Ruby Rose: Black Magic Barbie

[Images via Getty]

According to E! online, "Kidman's local posse loudly dished to us their doubts about the mommy status of the star, insisting to us that Antonia Kidman was Sunday's surrogate all along." Yes, Nicole Kidman didn't show until quite late into her pregnancy, but honestly, this claim is about as bonkers as the one implying that Bristol Palin was the real mother of Trig and that Sarah faked the pregnancy so that Bristol would avoid the shame of unwed motherhood. (Interestingly, Katie Holmes — now married to Nicole's ex, Tom Cruise — was also accused of faking her pregnancy.)

Apparently there is only one acceptable media pregnancy narrative, and that requires a taut and tasteful belly, with arms and legs remaining fit, followed by a month maximum of "post baby body" before a proper public unveiling of a perfectly slim figure and a smiling infant wearing a $200 onesie. Get thin too quickly or outside the approved narrative? You paid a robot to gestate your spawn in a secret underground lair. Or, like Britney, you're a drug downing bullimorexic. For an industry that so aggressively fetishizes pregnancy, you'd think they'd allow women to do it more naturally.

Two Kidmans, A Baby, And The Anatomy Of A Rumor [E! Online]

Earlier:

• In her new documentary, in addition to all the stuff about Groundhog Day, Britney Spears also talks about Kevin Federline: "I think I married for the wrong reasons. Instead of following my heart and doing something that made me really happy, I just did it for the idea of [marriage and] everything." Knowing is half the battle! [Perez Hilton, NY Daily News]
• Watch promos for Britney's documentary. In one, she says, "I… look back and I think, I'm a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?" [Perez Hilton]
• Someone else says of Valkyrie: "The film just isn’t a thriller at all. It’s a bunch of white guys in Nazi uniforms." And yes, Tom has an American accent. [MSNBC]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson: on the rocks. Last night in London, LL danced with her ex, Calum Best, whom Moe used to call Calum Worst. Anyways, Sam was pissed and stormed off in a huff. Lindsay was seen with tears in her eyes. Sniff. [The Sun]

• Tom Cruise gives the infamous Heil Hitler salute in his new flick, Valkyrie, and some find it hilarious. "It’s an unsettling scene but you almost start to laugh," a source says. "His character is resisting it but you never forget it’s Tom Cruise saying 'Heil Hitler.' It’s funny and shocking at the same time." [MSNBC]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes celebrated their second anniversary a day early at home in Los Angeles with daughter Suri, 2, as well as Isabella, 15, and Connor, 13, yawn yawn yawn. [People]
• Beyoncé is still in shock about dancing with Justin Timberlake on Saturday Night Live: "I still can't believe he did that. He was incredible," she says. "We rehearsed it two times. He picked up the choreography. He has this photographic memory. He could probably kill it if he wanted to." OMG yes! Does anyone smell a tour? [People]
• Alec Baldwin on kissing Jennifer Aniston for 30 Rock: "It was painful. I mean, every man who's had to make out with her in TV and movies — I don't know how they do it." Baldwin was also asked if unstable women are better in bed. "That's assuming I've been with crazy women," he said. "If I answer that question in the affirmative, that would type a woman I've been with as being crazy, which I don't really feel like doing. But I hear it's true. I hear from my friends it's true. I will say this on the record," he said before fleeing. "I've never slept with a crazy man." [NY Mag]
• Brad Pitt is on Oprah today! He'll be telling O how fatherhood has changed him: "[I'm] tough as nails. I’m impervious to poo, snot, urine, vomit. You can’t get me. You cannot break me down." [E!]
• Angelina on breastfeeding twins: "It's very hard. I stopped at three months, [it was] about as much as I could do. There's this football hold – it's a lot harder than it looks in the books. I did that a few times. I would take turns. It just takes a long time." [People]
• Are Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin on the rocks? She went to the Victoria's Secret show in Miami, and a source bitches: "She spent the summer filming a TV show in Spain with Mario Batali and now, instead of hanging out with her husband, she goes to a Victoria's Secret show? Really? Gwyneth doesn't have anything to do with Victoria's Secret. If things were so great with Chris, why wouldn't she be with him?" [Page Six]
• The Heath Ledger/freelancer/video lawsuit is a go. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Warner Bros has rolled out its first Oscar specific ad, a "For Your Consideration" poster urging awards voters to nominate Heath Ledger's performance as The Joker for an Academy Award. They're comparing his role to that of Anthony Hopkins, who won in 1992 for playing Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs. [News.com.au]
• Billy Ray Cyrus says Miley Cyrus and her pal Justin Gaston are great together: "I'll tell you what – they are great friends, and they make a good team. They write a lot of songs together, and they sing – it's incredible. I always tell her that as long as she's having fun, then it's working." Wait, what? [Perez Hilton]
• Miley says: "I think you have to be really careful about the people you trust." And what about Justin Gaston? "He's a singer, he's really cute, and he's nice and he's a Christian and I really like that." [People]
• More from Miley! "I would want to be on a reality show like The Real World because I think that's crazy. Anyone who would do that has some serious guts." She says being followed everywhere by paparazzi "is like a free reality show, I just don't get paid for it. Sometimes I'm not looking my best. I look like a mess, and I'm like I don't want my picture taken right now. I get comments like, ‘She's not looking her best today,' and I'm like, ‘I know, I'm not trying to impress you!'" [E!]
• Blind items! 1. Which Park Avenue socialite split from her husband when she discovered that he'd been enjoying secret conjugal relations with one of her best friends for years? 2. Which hit television show sidekick kicked an aspiring actress out of his cab after she refused to go to his apartment with him to "cuddle over milk and cookies"? 3. Which longtime New York basketball legend, whose wife handles his business, has gone bankrupt twice? 4. Which talk-show host has a flatulence problem so bad, he's said to have an assistant follow him around with an odor-vaporizing spray can? [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson says Tony Romo is "the whole package." Plus! "He's taught me to calm down a lot," Jess says. "I'm not organized and he's not organized either – but [he] does make me want to be organized for us." Fascinating. [People]
• So. You know how Joaquin Phoenix is retiring from acting? He can't get enough of the camera, actually: He's filming a documentary of his transition from acting to music. But it's real, see? Not acting. [E!]
• Michael Jackson paid £25,000 a session, for a total of £175,000 to see a "mind-mapping" guru to help him with his stage fright and creativity. The guru gets his clients to draw colorful maps. £175,000 for crayons? [The Sun]
• Here's more about the "brain guru." [NY Daily News]
• Um, Michael Jackson's nanny is in hiding. [Fox 411]
• Barack Obama's win is encouraging Gillian Anderson to leave London and move back to her native America. [Daily Express]
• Uh-oh, baby wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard has a crush on gorgeous model Noemie Lenoir. Is she "clean" enough for him? Also, they could be brother and sister, what with the skin and eyes. [Page Six]
• Is Anne Hathaway dating yet another loser? [Page Six]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown now have matching tattoos. [Concrete Loop]
• Serena Williams as the Black Racket is pretty much the best silly stoopid thing you will see today. [The.Life Files]
• Crap, Will Smith is doing a remake of Korean movie Old Boy, which is awesome just the way it is. [Reuters]
• Denise Richards was asked about the Angelina vs. Aniston feud and got all pissy, replying: "You know what? Their life is none of my business. My life has been public, and I think everyone should mind their own business about people's relationships, to be honest. It's between them!" Don't worry honey, soon people will stop for your your opinion. You'll miss it! [E!]
• Natasha Bedingfield: "Romance is female Viagra!" Sorry, explain? "In reality, relationships have ups and downs. If someone is worth enough to you, then you both fight to stay true through the tough times. Advice to guys: Keep the romance alive. Simple things like giving flowers or remembering special dates may sound cheesy but they do work." Oh, see, she's engaged and giddy. [People]
• Heather Mills is sick of the invasion of privacy, people! She's filed six complaints against Britloids: The Sun, Daily Mail, Daily Express and London Lite. [Guardian]
• Some dude claims a Martha Stewart lounge chair collapsed on him, crushing his right index finger. The tip of his finger allegedly fell beneath a deck and was eventually retrieved by a family member. He's suing Martha. Oh, and he says his life is ruined because he's a banjo player. And a hand model. [TMZ]
• Little Britain USA: Being renewed. Computer says yes. [The Sun]
• Click to see Kristen Johnston in a PETA ad against horse-drawn carriages. She's naked, but covered a la lady Godiva. [ONTD]
• You've been waiting for this: Whitney Port is launching her official site soon. Okay, maybe you haven't been waiting, but it's happening anyway. [Socialite Life]
• As previously reported, Rashida Jones is joining The Untitled Amy Poehler Show. Now we know she will play a nurse named Ann. this is all we know. [E!]
• If you watch CSI: Miami, you'll be delighted or disappointed to find out that Sean "Diddy" Combs will make a two-episode appearance, and not as a corpse. Puff will play a prosecutor. [Yahoo News]
• What the world needs now: A Vegas revue starring Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown. "Think Spice Girls meets Showgirls." The project is called "Peep Show" and promises to be "very sexy and very girl power." [Perez Hilton]
• Antonia Kidman, Nicole's sister and a single mom, had a coffee date. That's what this story is about. [News.com.au]
• NFL star Tom Brady is working on rehabbing his injured knee, and while he recovers, a source spills, "No distractions and no Gisele." But doesn't supermodel glamazon Ms. Bundchen heal all wounds??? [Boston Herald]
• David Beckham will only stay with AC Milan for three months before returning to the Los Angeles Galaxy; the Italians are not trying to keep him. [The Independent]
• Russell Brand's stand up show in New York includes jokes about groping the Queen's breasts. He also encourages the audience: "Feel free to approach me for sex." [The Sun]
• Alicia Silverstone, author! Her book, The Kind Diet, comes out next year; it "explores the connection between what we put in our bodies and what we’re doing to the planet, and how choosing the right foods in the kitchen can help you feeling lighter, sexier, and more alive." Plus 75 vegan recipes. [USA Today]
• Aaaah, aaaaahhhhh! Sam Kinison biopic in the works. [NY Times]
• Pete Doherty is on a "pub footie team" which means he plays soccer with other guys from a bar. He says he plans to "score" every week, heh. [The Sun]
• Oh, dear. The flailing economy has hit Days If Our Lives: Deidre Hall (Dr. Marlena Evans) and Drake Hogestyn (John Black) have been axed for budget reasons. Hall had been on the NBC soap for 32 years, and Hogestyn was there for 22. Like sand through the hourglass! [NY Mag]
• Is Magic Johnson skimpy with health coverage when it comes to people who work for him? [TMZ]
• Chuck Norris has written a bunch of crap about the "Gay Anarchy" that America has been experiencing due to the Prop 8 debate. He says: "Protestors [sic] of Proposition 8 in California (the marriage amendment) shoved aside a 69-year-old woman who was bearing a cross. They reportedly spit on her and stomped on her cross. They then aligned themselves in a human barricade, blocking the media from getting to or interviewing the woman." The folks from Queerty call his screed a "gobbledygook of half truths, race-baiting and feigned outrage." [Queerty]
• Click here if you want to watch Hugh Jackman sing "I Still Call Australia Home." Such a Broadway voice on that one. [News.com.au]
• This story reads: "This week, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger… enlisted his friend and fellow environmentalist Rob Lowe to entice the notoriously wary Chinese into a discussion about global warming while showing them a little showbiz flash." Yes. Rob Lowe is meeting with Chinese officials. [LA Times]
• Stephen Baldwin said he'd leave the country if Obama won; unfortunately he was joking. He now says: "Obama is obviously talented and intelligent, and I have great respect for the man. He's got my full support, and I'm gonna be praying for him and his administration." [Page Six]
• Speaking of Obama, he does have friends in Hollywood, but they're not the ones you think — Clooney is not on the list. [Politico]
• American Buffalo is on Broadway, starring Haley Joel Osment, John Leguizamo and Cedric the Entertainer, and celebrities are loving it. [Rush & Molloy]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur will return to Hairspray December 9-January 4 for the final four weeks of its Broadway run. Not attending: Bianca Golden. [USA Today]
• Details about the romance between Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller. Including Monroe's painful miscarriage: Biographer Christopher Bigsby writes: "'It was Arthur's,' Monroe said, between sobs. 'It was for him. He didn't know. It was going to be a surprise. Then he would see that I could be a real wife, and a real mother.' Asked how long she had been pregnant, she replied, 'Just a few weeks, I guess. I didn't dare mention it to anyone, in case it wasn't true.'" [Telegraph]
• Bands don’t do what we used to do. Bands don’t have the theatrics. We were lighting ourselves on fire. I had a chainsaw and cut a nun’s head off. You don’t see that shit at all anymore, which is kind of sad." — Vince Neil, on the early days of Mötley Crüe. [Rolling Stone]
• "The most repulsive celebrity I've ever met is Mick Hucknall. Unlike me he doesn't realize why all the chicks love him. And he's really ugly." — Simon Cowell. [The Sun]
• "I've always had that fuck-the-system mentality, and his dad is so 'the system.' But then, they're the most liberal family — they bootlegged alcohol, for God's sake. They're rich because they threw big, illegal parties, so I don't mind." — M.I.A on her fiancé, Ben Brewer, who is a Seagram heir. [Page Six]
• "I’m currently enjoying a period of sobriety, but for the last 15 years that hasn’t been the case… It’s just as I get older the hangovers get worse. If there were no consequences to drinking, I would drink all the time, but as you get older the hangovers get worse, and I’m just tired of losing entire days to hangovers, so I’m enjoying some healthy sobriety for awhile to see how that works. I don’t advocate sobriety for anyone who can drink successfully." — Moby. [BlackBook]

• Lindsay Lohan: Protective of lady love Samantha Ronson. A source says "Ashley Olsen said hello to Sam at [NYC hotspot Beatrice Inn], and Lindsay screamed at her, 'Get your 15-year-old Full House ass away from my girlfriend.'" [Page Six]
  
• And don't forget! Even though LL was in AA, she downed vodka cocktails all night. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Here's how Lindsay looked on her way home: Drunk. [ONTD]
  
• Ali Lohan will make her screen debut in Mostly Ghostly, a flick based on an R.L. Stine book. She'll play a "popular high school senior." A mean girl maybe? [People]
  
• Emma "Hermione Granger" Watson celebrated her 18th birthday by flashing her see-through underwear to paparazzi. [Page Six]

• Whitney Houston attended a boxing match in Las Vegas Saturday night and was "practically carried in by her staff." Plus, her people "snapped their fingers, saying 'Whitney needs a waitress!'" Once a diva, always a diva. [Page Six]
• Heiress/model Lydia Hearst: Joining the cast of Gossip Girl? OMFG. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which celebrity stylist, who should know better, has been blabbing in L.A. that a particular designer has tumbled off the wagon - again?" [Gatecrasher]
• Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had a double date with Nicole Richie and Joel Madden last week. Tattoos, flat-ironed hair and skinny jeans unite! [E!]
• Suri Cruise turned 2 on April 18 and her party was low-key: Coloring, cake, bowling. [MSNBC]
• Connor Cruise, the Tom and Nicole kid you never hear about, will make his film debut in an upcoming Will Smith movie. Connor will play a young version of Will and allegedly had to audition, even though Tom and Will are buddies. Well, he got the part, praise Xenu. [People]
• Dave Chappelle's former manager is suing him for 10% of the cash Dave's made since he fired the guy in 2005. Mo money, mo problems. [TMZ]
• David Hasselhoff was in the hospital over the weekend because stitches above his eye opened up and he was bleeding. America's got sutures. [TMZ]
• Jordin Sparks had "acute vocal cord hemorrhage" this weekend, igniting rumors that she'd never sing again. Even though she's canceled a bunch of tour dates, she should be back on the road in May. [TMZ]
• Gail O'Grady of NYPD Blue owes Caesars Palace $160,000 and Bally's $75,000 in gambling debts. What happens in Vegas stays on your credit report. [TMZ]
• Kanye West's former fiancée is "sad" about their broken engagement, but Alexis Phifer says, "I wish him the best in his future and all of his endeavors. He's one of the most talented people I've ever met." [People]
• Ewan McGregor had a skin cancer scare and had some moles removed. "I went to have them checked because you have to be careful if you are pale skinned with moles and you spend time in the sun." [Mirror]
• In attendance at Victoria Beckham's birthday party Saturday night: Kate Beckinsale, Eva Longoria, Gwen Stefani, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Diddy, Will Smith, Gavin Rossdale, Usher and Elton John. [The Sun]
• Terrence "baby wipes" Howard hosted a listening session for his debut album yesterday. Yeah, he sings. He began writing songs at age 16 in his "rainbow colored notebook." The album has a jazzy, big band feel but no word if there are any songs about the "serious problem" of women being unclean. [People]
• Platinum country music artist Taylor Swift went to her senior prom Saturday night. Her date was chosen from 50 applicants via MTV but Taylor says "He was unbelievably sweet." [People]
• Supermodel and ex-wife of Mick Jagger Jerry Hall is revealing that growing up, her father was violent, physically and verbally abusive. [Mirror]
• Antonia Kidman, sister of Nicole, won the Favorite Female Personality prize at an Australian TV awards show. She hosts a program called From Here To Maternity. [News.com.au]
• Thirteen year old Lourdes Ciccone Leon wants to live in New York with daddy Carlos. Haha. Will Madonna's seamy New York past live again, through her daughter? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Meanwhile, Madonna's new single went to No. 1 on both sides of the Atlantic and the headline of this story is: "Madonna: More Clout Than The Beatles, All By Herself... And Wearing Heels." [Times]
• David Blaine is in training to break the world record for breath-holding. BTW, he's not just a magician, he's an "endurance artist." So. [NY Times]
• Did Heather Mills lie about having a sad childhood? [The Sun]
• A Wendy Williams talk show? Sounds crazy, in a good way. [Variety]
• "I'm late all the time. I have no perception of time. Time is for white people. It doesn't work with me." — Erykah Badu. [Perez Hilton]