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posts about #anorexicboys more → More Males — Young & Old — Falling Victim To Eating Disorders
New York, 7:14 PM
Thu Nov 26
42 posts in the last 24 hours
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More Males — Young & Old — Falling Victim To Eating Disorders |
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01/09/09
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When did we start giving children the mistaken idea that they were in control? We're none of us in control. Life is abouot learning to accept the only thing you can control is your reaction.
01/09/09
There is no such thing as "male anorexia" or "female anorexia"- mental illness does not separate itself into genders. This young man is very ill, and is not in his right mind. You would not believe what an awful bitch I was to my poor parents who were trying to help me when I was in the worst parts of my anorexia. You aren't there, mentally- the boy you are watching is not Eric, but Eric's illness, personified. The cruelty, lack of compassion, and insane behaviors that come with the disease are a result of malnutrition, a terrifying need for control, and an obsession that overtakes every part of your life.
I think people should step back and consider how awful the illness is, and what it is doing to this young man, before making comments like, "Shut up and eat" or "what a brat." It's not that simple.
Also, the more we mock young men with eating disorders, the less likely they are to recognize that they are legitimately ill and need treatment. The idea that anorexia is a "female disease" is perpetuated by the fact that only women are pushed to seek treatment. It's very sad.
01/09/09
I presume you just removed the offending comment by Yasser Ismail?
01/09/09
01/09/09
It makes him sound like a brat. I almost get the feeling that he's being condemned for not keeping it to himself like sufferers of "female anorexia".
I'm not saying the author is to blame for the insensitive comments, I'm saying the author could be more sensitive handling the subject as well.
01/09/09
People who think this is simply a controlling, obsessive boy see him as a "brat". People who think he is OCD don't necessarily come to the table with the same compassion as if they thought he really had/has anorexia. People who are certain he has anorexia are upset at those who have come off as being "unsympathetic" or "not compassionate".
Its a clusterfuck
The fact of the matter is that nobody (me included) knows what exactly is going on inside this boys head, within the family dynamic etc (I did not watch this Dr Phil episode -only the clip) which means most of the comments (save for the obvious "shut the fuck up brat") are not ignorant - comments are based on what was written and seen.
Perhaps we all should research this situation and family before further commenting or, simply stop commenting.
01/09/09
please, jezebals, don't judge it if you don't know anything about it.
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01/08/09
It does seem that his OCD tendencies are certainly manifesting themselves in a pattern of disordered eating. Now if you want to go exclusively by the DSM, then I suppose it is possible (likely even)he doesn't meet all of the criteria for anorexia, with the physical requirements to actually obtain the diagnosis of anorexia ( weight less than 85% of what could be considered healthy, ammenhorea in women)it is possible that he does not meet the weight criteria, for sure. However, failing to meet the weight criteria, to me at least, may be the only thing holding him back from an anorexia diagnosis (one would have to see his eating patterns to know if he has any binging/purging/restricting).
Personally, I think if you want to go by the strict DSM definiteion of anorexia, this guy may not meet the criteria and is in all likelihood EDNOS. The point I dont agree with you on is that he doesnt have any type of eating disorder. And if you have worked with anyone who is diagnosed EDNOS, you know that it can be just, if not more dangerous than bulimia or anorexia.
01/08/09
Um, no - you're the mom. He isn't your boss. He may have an eating disorder and a bit of OCD, but she is WAY too accommodating of him in all the wrong ways.
01/08/09
I know that he has a real problem (my brother, I mean, but the kid in the clip too) but I can also understand why some people might have trouble finding sympathy for him. My brother has basically driven everyone in the family away with his control issues and violent temper, and although he clearly has an eating disorder (and a million other psychological problems), it's very hard to show him sympathy or empathy when he is hurling verbal abuse (and sometimes physical.)
My father has severely disordered eating as well. They feed each others' obsession and self-hatred, pretty much.
I know that the illness is largely the same, but men with eating disorders tend to be much more willing to take their issues out on those around them. Maybe that is where the lack of sympathy comes from. My mother has been on a diet for 40 years (and that is sad) but she has never *physically threatened* someone for baking a cake without asking first. My brother has, and that makes a big difference, in my view. I want him to get help, but I can't force him and I'm not willing to sacrifice myself for him. I just avoid him at all costs, honestly.
01/08/09
There is a tremendous difference between you saving yourself from a painful reality in your own life, and people who know not of what they speak being mean and petty about a 15 year old's life.
I can certainly understand how people involved with kids with these problems would need to protect themselves with distance. In the 12-step programs they call it detaching, and sometimes that's literally the only thing you can do to save your sanity. And your life is as important as his.
Good luck.
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I just want to go around and link the earlier post and scribble a big, fat FAIL on some of these comments.
01/08/09
The separate question of whether those behaviors are present here is worth battling over, I think.
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01/09/09
Compassion FTW, huh?
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I hope you're in recovery, and surrounded by people who love you and help you find serenity.
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01/08/09
Like a couple people have mentioned if this was a girl, I seriously doubt the response would have been the same.
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Thank you.
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Ultimatums don't work when your kid will starve himself EVEN MORE.
Therapy, on the other hand... yeah. That needs to happen.
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