• Oprah's been gushing about meeting Shawn Carter:

"Jay-Z is my new best friend!" Oprah told Gayle King. "He was so charming and delightful - and he smelled so good." [People]

• If I'm reading this story correctly, Lily Allen's "brickie boyfriend" ran away down the street to avoid being snapped by the paparazzi and she was left holding some Indian food and a pair of pants. [The Sun]
• The latest on Jon and Kate Gosselin is that he's still trying to appear on that show Divorced Dad's Club; which does not make TLC happy. And they're not happy about his conduct lately; apparently his contract has a "morals clause" that does not include being seen going in and out of bars and drinking. Kate's been "pulling up the slack" Jon's created. Plus! All the money made last season from Jon & Kate Plus 8 went into a joint account. Kate put some into a college fund for the kids; Jon spent his share. "Kate's people say Jon is making money
  on the side by selling pictures and stories of him and the kids to the tabloids." [TMZ]
• "When pictures emerged of Kate Moss looking haggard as she sunbathed in St Tropez, nobody was more shocked than the supermodel herself… now she has planned a '10 years younger' health plan to regain her youthful complexion." [Daily Mail]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch was sent to jail after doing an interview for the Today show, even though the interview was cleared by the Bureau of Prisons. (Hatch had been on house arrest.) [AP]
• Naomi Campbell, Queen Rania, and Jacques Chirac are in Saint-Tropez, and you are not. [Page Six]
• Pregnant Penelope Cruz: Avoiding the spotlight. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey's album has been pushed back to September 29, which means that she'll miss the Grammy cutoff date by just one day and won't be in the running. She also won't hit shelves the same day as Whitney Houston's new album, which comes out September 1.
• You know how Dr. Conrad Murray has released a video statement? Columnist Courtney Hazlett points out that Michael Jackson really pioneered the scripted, recorded statement. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Michael Jackson 'self-harmed' to get painkillers"… "He'd bang his head against the wall, hit his fists and arms against furniture, anything to cause a cut or bruise." [Mirror]
• Michael Jackson's funeral could cost $50,000 when you add in police and pther city services. [TMZ]
• Cue screams: Joe Jonas will be one of the celebrity judges on American Idol. Victoria Beckham, Mary J. Blige and Shania Twain will also appear in the spot vacated by Paula Abdul. [People]
• Yesterday, a judge ruled that Paris Hilton won't have to pay investors from failed flick Pledge This, who were claiming she didn't promote the movie enough. [Page Six]
• "Russell Brand shows off sex moves." [UKPA, Twitter]
• Ask Katy Perry a question her manager doesn't like, and he will pull the plug on your interview. Literally. Like, the lights will go out. Despite this, Katy was "delightful." [News.com.au]
• Inglourious Basterds prequel? "If the movie proves to be very popular, then we'll do it," says Quentin Tarantino. [Gatecrasher]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush went to dinner together on Monday — strolling into a Ruth's Chris Steak House in New Orleans. Back together? Just friends? [People]
• "Kourtney Kardashian Agonized Over Whether to Keep Her Baby." [People
• Susan Sarandon's daughter Eva Amurri took pole-dancing lessons to appear as a stripper in the third season of Californication. "I have such a respect now for women who do this. It's very athletic, I mean, they're athletes!" she says. And her mom came to a few classes: "We didn't, like, do it together, although I'm sure that's a nice visual for people." Of appearing naked on TV, Amurri says: "You basically see boobs and butt. It's the same as you would see on a European beach. It's nothing scandalous… Men are naked as much as the women are on that show, which I really like. If you're going to be naked, at least it's equal-opportunity nudity." [Observer]
• Bruce Willis and wife Emma Heming took a tour of L.A.'s "megapricey" Carlyle Residences, where apartments start at $2.9 million and penthouses go for as much as $15 million. [E!]
• A Leona Lewis track leaked on to the Internet, and Simon Cowell, quite naturally, called the cops: Looks like her record label was being targeted by hackers. [The Sun]
• Jon Hamm has joined the cast of Sucker Punch, an action fantasy flick with Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish and Carla Gugino, among others. It's set in the 1950s and directed by 300's Zack Snyder. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• American Idol's David Cook, 26, has an "older woman" in his life: She's 35. [Page Six]
• Liam and Noel Gallagher no longer speak to each other. "He doesn't like me and I don't like him, that's it," Liam says. Nevertheless! Oasis will headline the V festival this weekend. [Independent]
• "Mindy McCready Wouldn't Leave My Daughter's House Says Kari Ann's Mom." [Radar Online]
• Rhea Perlman and her daughter, Lucy DeVito, will appear in Love, Loss And What I Wore, an Off-Broadway production produced by Nora and Delia Ephron. [Variety]
• The surviving members the iconic British comedy troupe Monty Python will be presented with a special BAFTA honor this fall. [UPI]
• "I'm a fan of the traditional Speedo. I think it's time to bring back the ass cleavage." — Vivica. A. Fox. [WWD]
• "This is the first time someone gave me a part where I'm strong, where I'm the engine, the motor of the scene. Many times actresses are an accessory to a story line. To be handed intelligent dialogue was nice. It was a very new experience for me." — Diane Kruger, on Inglourious Basterds. [Reuters]
• "I love the way my mother wore clothes. She used to cut her own hair and wore very little make up and she just did things differently. She used to wear odd, different-colour argyle socks but then she also wore beautiful British tailored suits and little tea dresses with platform shoes. That's sort of how people dress now so she was very modern and ahead of her time in many ways. She really didn't give a damn about what people thought and back then it was all about conforming. It really wasn't the done thing to reflect your own personality through your clothes. She was also an amazing photographer. Much of her work launched Rolling Stone magazine and at the same time she was very modest. If she had met the Queen she would probably have been more interested in talking to the butler. That's just the way she was." — Stella McCartney on late mother Linda, to Harper's Bazaar. [Daily Express]
• "It's awesome and has great margaritas and tacos... How fun is that? I just go and sit on a bar stool and it's fun, like, 'Oh, I'm hangin' here at my place.'" — Renee Zellweger, on the East Hampton taco bar, Blue Parrot, she co-owns. [Daily Express]
• "I'd be out there, and it would be scorching hot, so I would take off all of my clothes and garden. And then I would jump in the pool and swim — and I always get in the pool naked. I used to spend a lot of time with Woody Harrelson, and he's not afraid to get naked." — Alicia Silverstone on gardening naked. [Page Six]
• "[Our relationship] was amazing… [But] Jon said he couldn't be seen having a girlfriend, so he told me to drive to a neighbor's house after midnight, when the kids were asleep. He said he'd pick me up in his four-wheeler, take me to his house and drop me off again at 6 a.m." — Kate Major on seeing Jon Gosselin, with whom she claims she had three sexual encounters. More in Midweek Madness. [Gatecrasher via Life & Style]
• "HIV/Aids is a huge pandemic that to be fair, to be honest, governments have not responded to effectively enough. Churches can do a tremendous amount, and I know they do, but then again they can do tremendous harm, because when the Pope goes to a country in Africa and tells them that they shouldn't be using condoms when we know that HIV is a sexually transmitted disease, I don't think that makes any sense at all. I'm comfortably wealthy, white, educated — I'm one of the lucky ones. I have had good healthcare and my children have good healthcare. I want that for everybody, I want people to have fundamental access to the most basic things. Everybody can do something, I really believe that, that each of us have a sphere of influence, whether it be your friends, your family or workplace, or colleagues." — Annie Lennox, at the Festival of Politics at the Scottish Parliament in Edinburgh. [BBC News]

[London, June 15. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Gisele Bundchen garnered an estimated $25 million in the past year, notching up campaigns for everything from Dior to True Religion jeans. Rounding out Forbes' 10 top-earning models list are posers like Heidi Klum, Adriana Lima, Kate Moss and — the sole biracial model represented — Emanuela de Paula. [Forbes]

• A behind-the-scenes shot of Scarlett Johansson and Mario Sorrenti working on the fall Mango ads show the Tom Waits-loving actress is giving her best sexyface. [Style.com]
• Vogue Nippon and Comme des Garçons launched a pop-up store called "Magazine Alive" in Tokyo. The contents will change each month, with every new issue of Vogue NIppon — but right now features t-shirts with manga likenesses of Hedi Slimane and Donatella Versace, as well as dresses from labels like Undercover. Who else but Takashi Murakami decorated the second floor, and Karl Lagerfeld did the window-dressing. Are we brainwashed for saying that, for a pop-up store — the hackiest of all the hacky, hackneyed retail concepts out there — this actually sounds pretty cool? [WWD]
• Barneys creative director Simon Doonan's life is the subject of a new television show, Beautiful People, produced by Absolutely Fabulous' Jon Plowman, on the Logo network. Doonan's impoverished formative years in 1950s England have been shifted in time to the 1990s, a move which he says "distilled the fun-ness of childhood and left the grimness behind." The series opens with Doonan installing a window display at Barneys based on old men who look like lesbians, and even though everyone knows that's a website, we would still totally watch this. Doonan says he is proud that the show tells the story of how a gay teenager was accepted by his family. [NY Times]
• Fashion designer Nicole Farhi was among the victims of two brothers who allegedly strangled and robbed 17 women and one man in wealthy neighborhoods of London. All the people targeted survived. [Telegraph]
• The nominees for Scottish Designer of the Year are a high-fashion pack: superstar designers Christopher Kane, Graeme Black, Jonathan Saunders, and Laura Lees are represented. Annie Lennox, Sharleen Spiteri, Jenni Falconer and Lulu are all in the running for the Scottish Style Icon of 2009 award. Other awards given at the annual event at Stirling castle on June 21 will reward Scottish photographers, makeup artists, models, and one recent fashion school graduate. [Telegraph]
• The jury in the Trovata/Forever 21 copyright case was unable to reach a verdict, and the judge declared a mistrial late yesterday. [WWD]
• U.S. Customs seized a shipment of counterfeit sunglasses from China with a retail value of $1.8 million. [WWD]
• This post manages to work in mention of both the debunked "lipstick" and "hemline" economic indicators, before adding a new one, courtesy of Alan Greenspan. The men's underwear index! Greenspan reasons that since few people see men's underwear, it's the first item men stop buying during a recession, preferring instead to wear out their current pairs. Sales of boxers and briefs should spike, according to this logic, when a recovery is underway, and men suddenly start replacing their threadbare underthings. Problems with this: Alan Greenspan often speaks in the language pure koan. And men, in my experience, always wear their underwear until it falls to shreds. I've known dudes who had four or five stained, holey pairs still in regular rotation among the newer, more hale offerings. It's just another way in which dudes are gross, not an economic indicator. [Economist.com]
• Revlon's share price rose 55 cents, or 10.4%, yesterday, on the back of encouraging earnings results for the first quarter of 2009. But it's not as simple as 'women are buying lipstick': Revlon has replaced its CEO in a management shake-up, and says it profited because it introduced new product lines. [Crain's]
• DSW, after a loss in the fourth quarter of 2008, made a modest profit of $7.1 million in the first quarter of 2009. [WWD]
• Polo Ralph Lauren reported its profits for the quarter ended March 28 declined by 57% on last year's results, because of falling consumer spending and the company's own restructuring and impairment costs. Same-store sales fell by over 15% during the quarter, but the report still exceeded analysts' expectations. [Crain's]
• Shapewear for men is still a thing which people are trying to make happen. (Again? I was reading an early 20th century novel the other day that referred matter-of-factly to a male character's girdle.) [WWD]
• Oh, the old Anna Wintour ambassadorship rumor again. Contract renewal one-upmanship is such a drag. [P6]

[Melbourne, May 3. Image via Getty.]

[Karlsruhe, Germany; March 30. Image via Flynet.]

[London, March 12. Image via WENN]

• Madonna took Jesus Luz to a Kabbalah service. Again. This paper calls her "the world's most boring date." [Daily Mail]

• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou got married in Africa over the summer??? Well, it was a ceremony. But it's not necessarily legal in the U.S. [Gatecrasher]
• Katie Holmes has to make weekly written confessions as part of her "commitment" to Scientology. "Katie has to confess to something as minor as forgetting to tell him she has met with a friend," says a source. "If she commits a transgression against the moral code of their marriage, she has to tell Tom in writing, giving full details of the time and place and what happened." [Daily Mail]
• Jolie-Pitt alert: After filming a few scenes for Salt in Washington DC, Angelina and the brood will hit New York tomorrow. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Now that Amy Winehouse is rested and ready after a long vacay in St. Lucia, she says she's got writer's block. "I'm not feeling creative," she says. "I start things but I don't finish them. I know when stuff is rubbish." [Mirror]
• Uh-oh: Amy Winehouse has been denied a US work visa and can't appear at Coachella next month. [Mirror]
• Britney Spears spent Saturday visiting sick kids at Miami's Children's Hospital. [People]
• Chris Brown has been hard at work, recording tracks for his new album. It's odd thinking about anyone buying it. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Oh, wait: Guess who is experiencing steady album sales? Chris Brown. [Perez]
• Meanwhile, Rihanna is also focusing on music. [Yahoo News via E!, Extra]
• TMZ's Harvey Levin says the unseen Rihanna photos are worse than the one leaked: He calls them "horrific" and "monstrous." [Tennessee Guerilla Women]
• Chris Brown wants his plea to be to a misdemeanor — with no jail time. [TMZ]
• Why is Chris Brown up for a Kids' Choice Award? A Nickelodeon exec says he "was nominated by kids several months ago, and the kids who vote will ultimately decide who wins in the category." [TMZ]
• Oprah to Rihanna: "He will hit you again." [NY Daily News]
• How do we feel about this: Ashlee Simpson landed a role on the new Melrose Place. [EW]
• Zanessa! Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens will get married in September, says this source whose reliability we question. Disney wedding? We've got dresses! [PopCrunch]
• Prince Harry was seen "laughing and joking" with Astrid Harbord, a friend of Kate Middleton's. This paper calls her "the new blonde." [Daily Mail]
• This piece is all about how Freida Pinto got cast in Slumdog Millionaire; she was a model and had an "edge" because she was "confident and articulate." [Hindustan Times]
• So you know how Michael Jackson's possessions were up for sale? The auction house catalogs have been published. See a painting of MJ in Henry the Eighth garb; a carousel horse given to him by Liz Taylor, and some sculptures, including one of two boys plating leapfrog. [Fox 411]
• One of Martha Stewart's dogs has gone to heaven: Ghenghis Khan died in a freak propane explosion. [TMZ]
• The guy who usually dubs Sean Penn's voice for all of his movies in Brazil refused to do the voice in Milk. "I did not feel comfortable with the job," he said. Is it because Harvey Milk is gay and you're a pastor? [Variety]
• Leonardo DiCaprio, Lukas Haas, Tobey Maguire and Kevin Dillon went on a bike ride around New York's East Village Friday. An eyewitness says it was "really uncool." [UPI]
• Speaking of cycling, Matt Damon was among 35,000 riders attempting a 68 mile bike trek in South Africa on Sunday. [Daily Express]
• Dancing With The Stars producers are downplaying the fact that they lost two contestants — Jewel and Nancy O'Dell — and hyping the announcement of their replacements, whose identities will be revealed tonight. Except don't we know that one is Holly Madison? [UPI]
• So maybe you knew that Jodi Lyn O'Keefe — of She's All That, Prison Break, and various TV shows — has been dating John Cusack. Bet you didn't know that she's broke up with him because he won't marry her? [Star]
• You may have noticed this, but Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is trying to reposition himself. He's no longer just a former wrestler but into comedies and films for children. "Audiences, particularly kids, seem to love discovering that a guy this big and this good looking is actually very sweet and very funny," says his Race To Witch Mountain director. [NY Times]
• Macy Gray will appear as a guest performer/lecturer on the first day of a UCLA Extension course on the music business this spring. The course is run by Doors manager Jeffrey Jampolm who says: "Macy Gray is getting on the cutting edge of where music is going. She just made a new record that she financed herself. She owns it, and she's going to market it independently." [LA Times]
• Russell Brand is now in the music biz, managing a little-known singer-songwriter named Simon Kaye, who performs under the name Little Wonder. Apparently there's a record label bidding war to sign this guy, so prepare yourself. (Video of his latest song at the link.) [The Sun]
• There's a new DA and a new task force on the JonBenét Ramsey case, more than 12 years later. [People]
• Are Elizabeth Hurley and husband Arun Nayar in a fast car to splitsville? [Hindustan Times]
• Hurley's rep does not deny rumors of a separation. [Telgraph]
• Here's a profile on Joan Allen, who stars in a Broadway play called Impressionism. [NY Times]
• Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss has been cast in a romcom called Did You Hear About The Morgans?; Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker are already attached. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Interesting: There's going to be a remake of the dark comedy Death At A Funeral, with Tracy Morgan, Martin Lawrence and Chris Rock. No word on whether Peter Dinklage will be in this version! [Hollywood Reporter]
• Julia Roberts will produce Jesus Henry Christ, a comedy about a boy conceived in a petri-dish and raised by a loving, left-wing feminist. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Joss Stone's CD has been delayed until July. [Daily Mail]
• Rita Wilson, Meryl Streep, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will be in an untitled Nancy Meyers flick; Her movie What Women Want was the most successful film ever directed by a woman. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Mick Jagger, his girlfriend L'Wren Scott and his son Lucas went to the Getty Center in L.A., and because L'Wren held the nine-year-old kid's hand, this paper claims she "played mom." [Daily Mail]
• Sigh: Pixie Geldof was turned down by the art school she applied to. [Daily Mail]
• Jade Goody and her sons were christened in the hospital where she is being treated for terminal cancer. Jade may only have days to live. [Daily Mail]
• Charles Barkley had a news conference, shook hands and posed for pictures over the weekend. While in jail. [TMZ]
• M.I.A. says she never named her baby Ickitt. So what is the little boy's name? [Daily News]
• Blind item! "Which pop diva just got her second boob job? Bet you didn't know about the first one, either - it's that good, and that out of character." [Gatecrasher]
• "Kate Moss is a vampire who stole my style." — Marianne Faithfull. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm not going to be [pregnant for a while] because I'm going on tour. I wouldn't want to do that to the poor child." And: "At first I would just stay in and wouldn't go outside [because of the paparazzi], but I would start getting bored with the treadmill and I like to hike outside. I'm not going to let them rule my life. For me it's not about being thin. For me it's about being in shape and being healthy. I have to have stamina onstage or I lose my breath very easily." — Fergie on trying for a baby and getting in shape. [Mirror]
• "I'm still baffled as to why people are so interested in my life. It's so weird – even my dog Norman gets recognized. I'm cutting him off – I've told him, no more Oprah appearances!" — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• "I have never been a woman who dreams about getting married and having children and having that house in Connecticut. On the contrary, I've always gone with the flow. I enjoy the moment because life goes on while you try to make plans; it's better to make the most of every second. So I just try to live in the present." — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• "I spent my time cross stitching. But I made it fun by stitching naughty words into handkerchiefs. There were long gaps between filming and I was bored, so it kept me occupied." — Miranda Richardson, on her hobby while filming The Young Victoria. [Daily Mail]
• "We have a similar sense of humor. Our list of priorities in our personal lives are not different. We are both happily married with families and lead a pretty normal, unaffected existence within in this odd universe of show business that we've both chosen to go into." — Julia Roberts on Duplicity costar Clive Owen. [People]
• "It was really funny seeing Baz Luhrmann and Rob [Pattinson] singing a David Bowie song. It was a talky one so they both could sort of talk to each other, and they were riffing back and forth. They were looking longingly into each other's eyes."— Kristen Stewart, who says she hopes there will be a movie based on the fourth Twilight book, Breaking Dawn. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "Look! [Suri] painted these canvas ballet slippers. Isn't she the best? She'll be 3 soon. It's such a good age. She was in musical school this year, but starts real school next year." — Katie Holmes. [Gatecrasher]
• "I actually worked as a kid at the Dallas Times Herald, because my dad had worked with [American journalist] Bill Moyers and then his son was working at the Times Herald and I got a job as a runner one summer. And as a kid it was really exciting to be around in the summertime doing that." — Owen Wilson, on his stint in journalism. [The Star]
• "I'm excited to have a girl. I was saying I didn't know if I could ever love someone more [than my son]. So I'm happy it's a girl. That way, I can love my boy like crazy, and I can love my girl like crazy. They'll feel even." — Pregnant Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford. [Gatecrasher]
• "It's all different from what I was taught in gymnastics. I have to learn to let go and just be emotional." — Shawn Johnson, on Dancing With The Stars. [LA Times]
• "I've had enough of women." — Colin Farrell. [Daily Express]
• "I have no desire [to have children]. I would not be a good mother. I mean, I love being an aunt to my niece and nephew. And I used to want to, like, adopt 10 kids - because I had friends who were adopted, and I thought that was the coolest thing, to be chosen. But again, my job is too selfish." — Kelly Clarkson. [USA Today]
• "I don't think unique creativity can be put into a shape. What leaves a bad taste with trying to create pop stars overnight these days is that they seem to try to identify people according to a size or a shape and say what will work. It's like trying to create artists with a cookie cutter! I don't like how the judging works on The X Factor. Who are the judges to say what's good and what isn't? I hate the cruelty and humiliation of it. And when it's a kid or a teenager I can't bear them to be ripped to shreds. Does it really have to be so cruel?" — Annie Lennox. [Daily Express]

• Nancy Pelosi left a health-care forum at the White House to meet with Brad Pitt. This piece calls them "Brancy." [WaPo]

• Everybody on Capitol Hill was atwitter over Brad Pitt being in their midst; Rep. James E. Clyburn says: "I did not realize when the Speaker asked me to chair the Katrina/Rita task force that it would lead to my getting in a position to make my grandchildren so envious of me, because this effort brought the two of us — Brad Pitt and myself together." [Politico]
• This headline sums it up: "Capitol Hill Goes Gaga Over Brad Pitt." [USA Today]
• Back in September, Amy Winehouse was involved in some kind of "incident" (uh, which one?) and now she has been charged with assault. Run back to St. Lucia! [People]
• Oh yeah: It was when she punched a fan who asked for a picture. [The Sun, Daily Mail]
• Um, Amy's husband Blake Fielder-Civil is "besotted" with Francesca Morralee, who is 17. [The Sun]
• Chris Brown appeared in court yesterday but did not enter a plea. His arraignment was delayed until April 6. [People]
  
• Here's a picture of two "fans" outside Chris Brown's court hearing yesterday, with signs which read "I love you Chris." [Concrete Loop]
• After Chris Brown was charged with two felonies, one of Rihanna's relatives told People: "It's about time." [People]
• Rihanna's lawyer told Chris Brown: "I think Rihanna would like this over as quickly as possible. It benefits everybody." Then Brown's own lawyer told Brown: "I've explained it to you that the best thing that could happen in this case is, Don [Rihanna's lawyer] is involved. Didn't I tell you that?" [LA Times]
• Nine days passed before Chris Brown apologized to Rihanna for beating her. [Fox 411]
• The reason Usher backed down on his criticism of Chris Brown? Rihanna. Trying to show support for Rihanna. [MSNBC]
• Chris Brown "hit the town" after his court appearance. Not really… He hung out at a hotel bar with bodyguards. [TMZ]
• What the goop was Gwyneth Paltrow doing getting into a chauffeur-driven car with Christiane Amanpour? [Page Six]
• Jewel and Nancy O'Dell have both withdrawn from Dancing With The Stars due to injuries suffered during rehearsals. What the hell goes on at that show? [People]
• Girls Next Door star Holly Madison will replace Jewel and Nancy. [NY Daily News]
• It may have sounded like there were screaming masses at Michael Jackson's press conference, but there were only 25 people including press. [Gatecrasher]
• But! People trying to get "pre-sale" tickets for Jackson's show are complaining that the website is effed. [Telegraph]
• Even though Heath Ledger's dad told a reporter that the family planned to keep Heath's Oscar "forever," it will actually go to Michelle Williams. Today. She will hold it for Matilda. [LA Times]
• WTF. This report begins, "Madonna has offered a gnarly old hand to Sienna Miller…" [Daily Star]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were "in tears" watching American Idol finalist Jorge Nuñez. [E!]
• "Regis Philbin Blackmail Shocker!" [National Enquirer]
• David Beckham will stay with AC Milan until the end of the season and will return next season, but he'll be "timeshared" with the LA Galaxy between July and October. [Daily Mail]
• "Flip-flopping" Bachelor Jason Mesnick swears he is not a jerk. [MSNBC]
• Shh! Don't tell anyone, but Lucy Liu is an artist, painting under the pseudonym Yu Ling. Snap up her portrait of two people kissing for a mere $28,000. [Page Six]
• It's all baby-talk all the time on the set of Ugly Betty. [People]
• For an episode of Oprah's show, Dennis Quaid and his wife returned to the hospital where their twins were given an overdose of blood thinner. [AP]
• Vince Vaughn is engaged and the lady is named Kyla Weber; she's a Canadian real estate agent. [Gatecrasher]
• Simon Cowell and ex Terri Seymour went on a dinner date. Cue the "ooooohhhh!" [Daily Mail]
• Gossip Girl's Matthew Settle and his wife welcomed a daughter, Aven Angelica, yesterday. [People]
• "LSD, Easter Island, science fiction and, of course, Lorne Michaels, all played a role in developing the Coneheads sketch for Saturday Night Live. [Page Six]
• Joe Francis denies he accidentally bumped into Brody Jenner's girlfriend at a club, which sparked a screaming match. Joe, ever the pacifist, says: "There was no physical contact, but if you're Brody Jenner and dating an ugly piece of trash…you should expect these types of altercations." [Page Six]
• Ghostface has written a song for Rihanna. Sample lyrics: "Shake it off, wake up… Pretty lady, come about yourself…" [Concrete Loop]
• Fantasia Barrino returns to the musical The Color Purple for a five week stint in Washington DC. [Variety]
• Mark Wahlberg will star in a "dark thriller" which this piece calls "one of the hottest scripts in town." It's set in Boston, so Wahlberg can do his best "Say hello to your mother for me." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• DNA tests prove that Jerry Lewis has a daughter — he mother had an affair with the entertainer back in 1952. He has not publicly acknowledged the woman as his daughter, but his son agreed to a DNA test because "everybody deserves to know where they came from and who they are." [UPI]
• Blind item: "Which flowery former wild child had a bad sexual experience with the creator of a hit TV show - but went for another round because 'she'll try anything twice'?" [Gatecrasher]
• R.I.P. Sydney Chaplin, Charlie Chaplin's son and Tony-award winning actor. [AP]
• "My dad is more of a rock star than me. He embraces the lifestyle. People think having your dad on tour would cramp your style. But I don't have any style - he's got all the right moves. He's living the dream. I am going to check he hasn't trashed the hotel room before we leave each city." — Chris Martin. [The Sun]
• "The biggest thing for me is that I am now going to have to choose between work - this script or that script. Until now, my roles have chosen me; my career has been shaped essentially by never saying no. But now I will have to say no. I just hope l'll be wise in my choosing." — Melissa Leo, about her life post-Oscar nomination. [Guardian]
• "So when I do go out with him I sit and get progressively more pissed, and he's one of those annoying people who remembers everything. I go to him, 'Just have a fucking beer! One beer!' And he says to me that if he has one beer he'll probably end up in a crack house in Kings Cross within 40 minutes. I'm like, ‘Brilliant, I'll come with you.'" — Noel Gallagher, on hanging out with Russell Brand, who does not drink. [The Sun]
• "It's fine if Tori wants her own reality show or wants to write books about her childhood. I just wish she'd leave me out of it. She has plenty to talk about without saying things like, 'I wish I were closer to my mother,' or 'Did you see what my mother wrote on her Web site?' I wish she would call me, rather than say on television, 'I should call my mom.'" — Candy Spelling, whose autobiography, Stories From Candy-Land, is out at the end of the month. [Gatecrasher]
• "Dave [Stewart] and I talk to each other only rarely these days, and I can't see another reunion. He lives in America and I'm over here. We're both working on our own things. For me, it would feel like a step backwards and I want to keep moving forward. I enjoy multi-tasking, so I want to do a lot of different things. I want to keep all the plates spinning." — Annie Lennox. [Daily Mail]
• "I am in perfect health. I'm in very good shape and feeling very good." — Hugh Hefner, knocking down reports that her was "far from his normally alert self" at a recent party. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "It doesn't vacuum, it doesn't wash the dishes or stuff like that." — Charlize Theron, joking about her Oscar. [The Star]
• "I'd love to work with Amy Winehouse. She has a very distinct, sexy, soulful voice and she writes great lyrics." — John Legend. [Mirror]
• "[The role reminds me of ] a period of my life where I had to work several jobs to pay my bills. Something would go wrong and you'd have to take another job to get your car running. That was very real for me." — Amy Adams, on Sunshine Cleaning. [WSJ]

[London, February 5. Image via Flynet]

• Brad Pitt's on the cover of W, two months after ladyfriend Angelina Jolie graced the mag. In the photo by artist Chuck Close, Brad looks… wrinkly. [Just Jared]

• Oooh, and in W, Brad Pitt says Angelina is not a homewrecker! "What people don't understand is that we filmed [Mr. & Mrs. Smith] for a year. We were still filming after Jen [Aniston] and I split up. Even then it doesn't mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn't. I'm very proud of the way that it was handled. It was respectful." [Page Six]
• Jennifer Garner gave birth to a baby girl Tuesday in Los Angeles. What will Violet's little sister's name be? [People]
• Jett Travolta's sudden death will dominate the new cover of People. Friend of the family actress Anne Archer says: "John and Kelly never discussed his physical condition with me. I observed that he was significantly mentally handicapped. John always communicated to him as if Jett could completely understand him. ... It was a kind of sweet exchange, where he was just happy with anything that Jett offered. Anything." [People]
• Sarah Jessica Parker is reportedly moving out! A source says she wants to "bring down the curtain on her marriage." More later in Midweek Madness. [Star]
• It was reported that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes bought three apartments in one NYC building (we heard one was for living, one was the gym, and one was for Suri). But! This story claims that when Katie's stint in All My Sons is done, the couple will return to L.A. [E!]
• Kate Winslet could win an Oscar if Academy voters get creative with the ballots. [Fox 411]
• Lauren Hutton talked to Lindsay Lohan for Interview and L.L. told her: "I have become this girl who just loves to be photographed, doesn’t know how to focus, doesn’t know how to work on set, just loves the attention, knows how to go out at night, knows how to party. I lived maybe six months out of my life like that, doing something wrong, and then I stopped. God forbid I should have ever learned my lesson. People are so distracted by the mess that I created in my life." [WWD]
• Britney Spears missed some dance rehearsals for her upcoming tour and supposedly doesn't want choreographer Wade Robson to see "that she's not as good as she used to be." Uh, Brit? He knows. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Are ghosts to blame for the delay of Courtney Love's album? A spokesperson released a statement which reads: "The studio that Courtney was using to record had paranormal technical issues so they have moved to another studio." [The Sun]
• The "hunk" Amy Winehouse has been hanging out with in the Caribbean swears there's nothing going on: "She’s sweet — but just not my kind of girl." Maybe he likes 'em crack-free? [The Sun]
• Bad news if you're sick of Anne Hathaway talking about putting the past behind her: She says, "As horrible as what I went through was, it's not the worst thing that could happen to a person. In the history of humanity, it doesn't even come close." And some other stuff. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is having a "tough time" after breaking up with her fiancé, if you care. [People]
• Perez Hilton on Anderson Cooper: "Rumor has it that [actor Mitch Morris] was having some kind of relationship with Anderson, but I don't have any photos. If I did, you would have seen them by now." [Village Voice]
• OMFGG: Will Nicole Richie be on Gossip Girl? A "friend" says "She wants a really bitchy, juicy role." [Gatecrasher]
• Ben Lee got married to Ione Skye in India?!?! [ONTD]
• Blind item! "Which pothead actor is seeking refuge for harder drugs in a NYC rehab center? The toker couldn’t quite kick the nose-candy habit." [Gatecrasher]
• Sometimes gossip "news" is too surreal to absorb, which is why the following information is presented without comment: "Rock superstars U2 have revealed their Spider-Man musical will be ready to hit Broadway this year." [The Sun]
• The new American Idol judge, Kara DioGuardi, says she's seen some male contestants who are uniquely talented. Unfortunately, this is not a euphemism. [AP]
• Some schoolkids saw Nicolas Cage in a Starbucks and offered him money. Time to shower and shave, dude. [Telegraph]
• The court system is trying to get Roman Polanski to return to L.A. to get his sexual misconduct charges dismissed; his lawyers are all, "No." [Variety]
• The woman who was used by police as a Jamie Lynn Spears decoy is pissed! She wants $2 million for her humiliation and harassment and "had no idea that her privacy would be invaded and her identity made synonymous with 'fake Jamie Lynn Spears—a nobody.'" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Will people actually purchase tickets to attend Mel B.'s Vegas extravaganza, Peep Show, which is a night of burlesque, singing and dancing? [Mirror]
• Kevin Federline's new girlfriend was kicked out of her apartment after not paying rent for six months. Perfect for each other? [TMZ]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony went on a romantic jaunt to Puerto Rico and either are doing great or are arguing, like any couple, but it's so hard to give a shit. [People]
• Whoa: Back in the day, La Toya Jackson was kidnapped, forced into marriage and beaten by her husband! [The Sun]
• The wacky/emotional judge who presided over the dispute involving Anna Nicole Smith's remains has been cleared of wrongdoing. As you may recall, he cried while reading the verdict of the case. [AP]
• If you have £7,000, you can be the proud owner of this oil painting of Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy, a prop from the BBC adaptation of Pride And Prejudice. [Telegraph]
• Aerosmith is ready to work on a new studio album. Is the world ready for more rock of aged? [Reuters]
• Producer Scott Storch, 35, got the face of a 19-year old chick inked on his skin. A source says: "The tattoo is ghetto, big, and on his arm. It's crazy because he's not even actually dating her." [Page Six]
• How is it possible that the Christie Brinkley/Peter Cook court battle is still not over? Her ex-husband has filed contempt of court charges against Brinkley, and her attorney is calling it "unwarranted and petty." [Extra]
• Richard Branson's New Year's Eve party on Necker Island was B.Y.O.M.: Bring your own model. [Page Six]
• Hate your boobs? MTV wants to talk to you. [Page Six]
• "If a play came along now I would jump at it. I’m very keen on doing new writing. I’ve always kind of been doing new writing with plays and that’s where my heart is. Not that I don’t think that doing the classics is a wonderful idea, but Shakespeare’s got too many lines and the other stuff is really complicated. I like newer media stuff." — Daniel Craig. [The Sun]
• "I'm sorry it took until your 40s for you to be recognized. I wrote [Josh] off as I do all square-jawed actors. But bit by bit — as he became older and older — I realized he’s going to become such an asset to the film industry." — Sean Penn on Josh Brolin. [Gatecrasher]
• "I have made my position very clear. I do not believe that there is a military solution to the situation in Gaza. I support peaceful conflict resolution, and dialogue, which HAS to take place inevitably in order to resolve the situation in any case. I do not believe that the deaths of hundreds of innocent civilians will solve anything. It will only make things worse for everyone, on BOTH sides… I am not “anti Israeli”, nor have I EVER been, and for anyone to say that I am is profoundly offensive and completely wrong." — Annie Lennox. [Pop Dirt]

• Jennifer Garner has obtained a court order protecting herself from a man she believes is endangering her family. She claims Steven Burky has been "stalking and harassing" her, sending "packages and letters containing delusional and paranoid thoughts and following me around the country." The guy showed up at her house and said, "God has sent me a vision of you being persecuted in some manner that may result in your death." Burky has a blog called Satanic Panic, on which he wrote: "Are multitudes of adults resorting to human sacrifices and then repressing this information from fear of Christ..." [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan "sobbed in the street" after her fight with Samantha Ronson, and this report claims it was physical, with Sam "throwing punches" on the dancefloor when she saw LL dancing with her ex Calum Best. [The Sun]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie have reached an agreement regarding their divorce! Guy is refusing to take a single penny, and they'll share custody of the kids, except Lourdes, who will stay with her mom. [This Is London, Times of London]

• Everyone loves picking out clothes for the new First Lady! The Michelle Obama Style Guide will come out in the Spring; former Mademoiselle and Shop Etc. editor Mandi Norwood is writing it. Norwood says: "Not since Jackie O have we had a first lady become a fashion icon. Michelle Obama will be one of history's most vibrant first ladies; she has a distinctive style that every American woman can aspire to, whether the consumer is a Target shopper or some one more likely to be found on Miracle Mile." [Page Six]
• How does Angelina Jolie feel when people refer to her and Brad Pitt as "Brangelina"? "Honestly, I don't have a thought either way," she says. "Although on the set of Changeling, Clint Eastwood was calling us 'Clintelina'. I think that sounds funnier." Oh, and Angelina hasn't seen Brad's new movie, Benjamin Button yet. But she says, "Brad looks good ageing backwards. And no, I've not been on the set of Inglourious Basterds. This is a Tarantino film, so we're thinking, 'What's a good day to bring children on set?'" [Telegraph]
• Winona Ryder had her stomach pumped at a hospital in London after a suspected accidental overdose on a British Airways flight. She has a fear of flying and may have taken too many Xanax pills — this report claims she "collapsed twice" in first class. (How do you collapse when you're in a first class seat on a plane?) In any case, she's been discharged from the hospital. [The Sun, Mirror, Telegraph]
• Rosie O'Donnell says Barbara Walters wanted everyone on The View to act like they got along: "I'm not saying they loathe each other, but the fact of the matter is, there was not a lot of camaraderie off camera." Rosie also says her new show will not be like The View: "The job description here is to entertain. It will be an hour of fun, laughter, singing and dancing. No politics. No arguing. No talking about controversial things. That, to me, is what is needed now." [LA Times]
• Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman showed up arm-in-arm to the GQ Men of the Year party, and held hands at the event and were spotted kissing, so it's looking like it's on. [Yahoo News]
• Kelly Osbourne: Engaged! Boyfriend Luke Worrell asked Ozzy Osbourne for permission to propose, awww. And brave! [The Sun]
• Brooke Shields says the world has got to save Lipstick Jungle. "NBC is now flooded with lipstick. Women are in uproar over this…they’ve tried to kill us before and we have refused to die." And writer Ilene Rosenzweig says: "There are no other female-driven dramas on television, and if this one goes, it will have been the last. But women are so sick of reality TV and want to have a place where they can turn for escapism and frivolity, but also to confront the real struggles that powerful women face in the workplace and at home." [Daily Beast]
• It's official: Britney Spears did write a song for Adnan Ghalib, called "Mmm Papi," and the lyrics are: "You love it when I'm freaking out / Things get rough and there's no doubt / You will always be there for me." [Perez Hilton]
• Okay, she didn't write the song for Adnan. It's just a song. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson could be forced to fly to the High Court in London to testify in a case being brought against him by the King of Bahrain's son. [Telegraph]
• Oh, wait: Michael Jackson is intending to go to court, his lawyers claim. [Yahoo News]
• Jennifer Aniston watches Friends, and says "there are times when I laugh my rear end off." Nothing more amusing than watching yourself be amusing, huh? [MSNBC]
• Why Forbes has an annual list of "Hollywood's 10 Hottest Tots" is a question to ponder, but know this: Suri Cruise is number one. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is in second place after coming in first last year; Zahara Jolie-Pitt, 3, is in third place; and Pax Jolie-Pitt, 4, is fourth on the list. [Breitbart]
• Another Forbes list: Hollywood's Top-Earning Couples. "Jay-Z and his new bride, Beyoncé Knowles, collectively raked in $162 million between June 1, 2007 and June 1, 2008." [Forbes]
• Paris Hilton and Benji Madden have broken up, you guys, but no one cheated on anyone: Vanessa Fontana from that BFF show says "Paris and Benji were loyal and faithful to each other. I love Paris, and I just want her to be happy. I think that they'll be better as friends." [Yahoo News via E!]
• And yes, Paris was "all over" her ex, Stavros Niarchos, earlier this week. A source spills: "Benji didn't like it that she spent the evening with Stavros. He blew up and Paris felt victimized. He gave her a lot of grief about that. She felt she couldn't cut loose and party. He doesn't drink and doesn't think she should either. She felt too fenced in." [Star Magazine]
• A different person says Paris and Stavros were just having a friendly conversation. "In no way are they romantic, nor do they want to get back together," the source says. [People]
• Mark Hoppus from Blink 182 says the plane crash has him speaking to Travis Barker again, after the band's messy split in 2005. "We're just reconnecting as friends after four years of not talking," he says. "It's a good thing." [Reuters]
• Additional info about the crash that injured Travis Barker here. The pilot of the jet warned air traffic controllers that his plane was "going off the end" before it crashed, killing him and 3 others. The cockpit recordings have been released. [CBS News]
• You'll enjoy this: NeNe has written "5 Ways Real Housewives Of Atlanta has Changed My Life." She says: "I’m not surprised that Anderson Cooper is talking about me! Wouldn’t you talk about me? I’m not surprised. Anderson Cooper is gorgeous. He is THE silver fox, and I just wish he’d come over on this side of the street. And come over here and talk to me!" [People]
• Fifty-eight year old Bill Murray was spotted having a fancy dinner in Chicago with 27-year-old Miss USA, Crystle Stewart. Nothing lost in translation there! [Perez Hilton]
• Kevin Spacey is in a new flick called Men Who Stare At Goats. He plays a "psychic guru." George Clooney is in the film, too and, presumably, some goats. [io9]
• Noted author Pamela Anderson has written an open letter to Barack Obama. She has suggestions! Free Leonard Peltier, castrate sex offenders, legalize marijuana, promote vegetarianism, stop animal testing, and bring the troops home safely! Now where's her cabinet position? [Perez Hilton]
• Film students! James Franco wants to be in your movie. "I haven’t acted in any student films yet," he says. "You would think that more people would ask me to be in their movies, but they haven’t." Franco is studying directing at NYU. Please, guys. Cast him. [NY Mag]
• Oh! James Franco's next role after Milk will be gay poet Allen Ginsberg in the movie Howl. Back-to-back gay roles "don't make any difference to me," Franco says. [Rush & Molloy]
• Julia Stiles was in a play that required her to utter these words about her "first time in bed with a black man": "He came over to borrow a highlighter. Next thing I knew, my panties were off and I was sitting on his face." [NY Mag]
• People are bidding £1 million for the house where David Beckham lived as a baby. Similar houses in the area were sold for £250,000. WTF. [Yahoo News]
• Whoopi Goldberg shows Liz Smith her tattoos: She has two dragons and a little Woodstock. [WowoWow]
• Tom Jones sang on the sidewalk in London to raise money for a cancer charity. He belted out "It's Not Unusual" and people did double takes; he performed four songs for the British Busking Challenge run by the BBC's Culture Show. [News.com.au]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are still engaged. And the wedding will be small, which means you're not invited. Sorry. [People]
• Back in August, Jackson Browne sued John McCain for using his song, "Running On Empty." Now McCain says Browne complained so he could get press to promote his new album, which came out a month later. McCain also argues that he can use whatever song he wants, since he's running for office and not trying to make money off of the music. What will the court decide? [TMZ]
• Michelle Hurd, who plays Eleanor Waldorf's assistant, Laurel, on Gossip Girl, says she bought her mom a vibrator for Christmas: "I actually got my mother the Rabbit last year," she says. "She was quite shocked and turned red instantly, but probably a month later she very quietly thanked me." [NY Mag]
• Actor John Turturro has great things to say about Barack Obama: "I think it's very interesting that he wants to surround himself with people who are strong and good. That's what Lincoln did—he put his adversaries, people who were on the other side, into his cabinet." But! Turturro, born and raised in Brooklyn, doesn't mind if Hillary Clinton moves to Washington: "I don't consider Hillary Clinton a New Yorker. I consider her a Senator from New York, but I don't consider her a New Yorker. She is from Illinois. A lot of people in New York aren't from New York, but she hasn't been here long enough for me to consider her a New Yorker." [Observer]
• Usher's mom maybe didn't pay her limo driver, boo. [TMZ]
• Is Kirk Cameron — who says civil marriage is not susceptible to any change because it is ordained by God — one of the "American Taliban"? [The Atlantic]
• Brit band Take That has a song inspired Amy Winehouse: Lyrics include, "All this noise and all these lights/All this talking through the night. All this expectation now it’s making me neurotic/ Tell me have I seen your face before? How did it come to this?/ How did it ever come to this?" [The Sun]
• Homecoming time! James Van Der Beek went back to Wilmington, NC — working with some of his former Dawson's Creek crew — for a guest appearance on the CW's One Tree Hill. [AP]
• Is anyone sorta tickled by the Bob Hope postage stamp? Thanks for the memories… [Yahoo News]
• Ivanka Trump's writing her first book! A "motivational title for women of her generation" with personal experiences in life and business, and lessons learned from her father and other business luminaries. Look for it in fall 2009. [PW]
• Adrien Brody was interviewed by gay magazine The Advocate, but refused to answer the silly questions asked of him, explaining that he is a "serious person." [Perez Hilton]
• Mischa Barton's official web site is live. Not that you care. [Socialite Life]
• Rita Wilson tried to buy a Beatles poster for her husband, Tom Hanks, but the seller couldn't provide a certificate of authenticity. Wilson declined to make the purchase and the seller "became belligerent" and now the mess is in court. Can't buy me love? [TMZ]
• Rod Stewart's son Sean is being sued by his personal trainer. Pay your bills! [TMZ]
• Four words: Monty Python YouTube Channel! [Telegraph]
• Mel Gibson's marriage is not on the rocks, even though there's "a dark-haired beauty named Oksana" who hangs around his movie set and "no one is quite sure what her role is." [Rush & Molloy]
• "She packs for me with beautiful notes in my luggage that I discover. She's always doing sweet things." — Seal on Heidi Klum. [People]
• "I like writing songs about boys and relationships. And when someone breaks up with me, I like to write about it, because I feel like I have the last word. That's the fun part. I have no issue with naming names. My personal goal is for my songs to be so detailed that the guy the song is written about knows it's about him." — Taylor Swift. [Rolling Stone]
• "She's a technically amazing singer, obviously — if she wasn't a star, she could always make a living with that voice, because it's like an instrument. But it's also such an original voice — as soon as you hear it on any track, you know exactly who it is. A great singer is somebody who makes you believe what they're saying, and you always believe what Annie is telling you… I also have to be superficial for a moment and point out that she is this unbelievably hot chick — and she has stayed hot to this day." — Rob Thomas on Annie Lennox. [Rolling Stone]
• "Well there's no doubt that election night was a bittersweet night. But in some ways, these kinds of setbacks allow for a bigger fight, more challenges, and eventually we're going to get it right. Eventually the American public will figure out that it really isn't right to deny citizens basic civil human rights. And we can no longer allow that to happen." — Kevin Spacey on Prop 8. [HuffPo]
• "Travelling with the family is fun… The other day, when we flew from LA to Germany, all of us had terrible jet lag. The children kept waking up, so we all got up, turned on the TV, made snacks, and were up until 4am. We laughed our heads off - the kids are some of the funniest people Brad and I have ever met. So more [children] sounds like a great idea, as much as it's hard work. It's just worth it." — Angelina Jolie. [Telegraph]
• "This is nothing new for me. When I got married, it was an act of civil disobedience as much as it was a love story. There is not any person in the country who doesn’t know I’m for gay marriage. I'm not vocal enough? I got married before anyone else did. I’ve been living it and living it for a very long time." — Rosie O'Donnell, to critics who question why she's been "absent" from the uproar over Prop 8. [LA Times]

• Ashton Kutcher punked the paparazzi, and all of us: That shaman Paris Hilton was hanging out with — who turned out to be an actor — was part of a stunt for Kutcher's new show, Pop Ficton. The prank show targets paparazzi and gullible media outlets. Now lots of crazy stories (like the one about hepatitis at the restaurant where he had his birthday party) seem like they may not be true. Who knows what's real anymore??? [USA Today]
  
• Justin Timberlake: Bringing a hit Peruvian comedy to US TV? Executive producing? Who knew? [Reuters]
  
• Here's a picture of Amy Winehouse buying her own biography after she spotted it from a car window late Wednesday night. Amy, Amy, Amy! [TMZ]
  
• Amy's party trick is snorting vodka. Ow. [Mirror]
  
• Did John Mayer write a message to Jessica Simpson on his blog that reads, "Dear Ex Lover, Perhaps you didn't understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I'll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore" ??? Cold! [The Sun]

• Jessica Simpson and the Pussycat Dolls leave for Kuwait today, where they will entertain the troops. A source says there's no special treatment and that Jess will be "roughing it" and sleeping on bunk beds during the trip. Maybe she can use her Vuitton luggage as a pillow? [Page Six]
• Lisa Marie Presley: Pregnant! The daddy is Presley's husband Michael Lockwood, whom she married in Japan in January 2006. The 40-year-old daughter of Elvis already has two children: Riley 18, and Benjamin, 15, with ex-husband Danny Keough. Congrats! [People]
• Rihanna issued a plea for help and now a woman with leukemia has found a bone marrow donor! It's so weird when stars use their power for good and not evil. [People]
• Rihanna has banned umbrellas from her concerts, by the by. [The Sun]
• Ashlee Simpson denies being drunk during a radio appearance, saying, "I giggle when people ask me uncomfortable questions not knowing what to say or what else to do." [People]
• Britney has received a number of disturbing letters and packages, which her "camp" have handed over to local law enforcement and the FBI. [E!]
• The court has ruled that Britney's dad can pay himself a salary to be the conservator of her affairs, so he's taking $2,500 a week from her account. Honestly? There is no doubt that: A) Managing that girl's life is a full-time job and B) Jamie's level-headedness is worth every penny. Good luck, Daddy Spears. [TMZ]
• Lou Pearlman, known for launching the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC, pleaded guilty yesterday to fraud which used fake bank accounts and a dead man's signature in a $300 million swindle. "I'm accepting full responsibility," Pearlman told the judge. He'll be sentenced May 21 and could get the maximum of 25 years in prison. (If he cooperates and tries to recover the money, he'll get reduced time.) [Reuters]
• Annie Lennox: "No more marriage for me. I don't see the point of it. It's not that I'm such a cynic. To share one's life with someone is a beautiful thing. But for the moment, I'm a single person." [Telegraph]
• Lil' Romeo, son of Master P., got a full basketball scholarship to USC. "We may have more 11- to 17-year-old girls in the stands than we've had in the past," says the coach. [Wall Street Journal]
• NYPD Blue star Esai Morales has been cleared of accusations by his ex-girlfriend that he raped her two years ago; the woman continued to live with Morales for 15 months following the alleged assault. [Page Six]
• Colin Farrell to "gorgeous" model at a swanky bar: "Who is this guy?" The lady replied, "He's my boyfriend." Farrell then told the dude, "You've got the most beautiful girl in the place, and you can't blame a guy for trying." To which the boyfriend said: "You tried. Now get out of here." [Page Six]
• The ex-wife of Nicolas Sarkozy will marry her lover this month as "revenge" after Sarkozy wed Carla Bruni so quickly after getting divorced. [Page Six]
• Robert Downey Jr appears in blackface in his new movie, but only because his character has his skin dyed black. Hmmm. [Page Six]
• Kelly Rowan, aka The O.C.'s Kirsten Cohen, is in the final weeks of pregnancy but her billionaire boyfriend keeps her out of the spotlight because he is "horrified of any publicity." Uh, sounds healthy. Then again, money trumps mere fame any day. [Page Six]
• "I really romanticized being pregnant. Then I realized, This is awful! I was so nauseated in the beginning" —Marcia Cross of Desperate Housewives. [Page Six]
• "People ask, 'Why do you like getting around on a bike so much?' I don't do it to be green. I do it because it's so [bleep]ing fun" — Eric Bana [Page Six]
• Kate Hudson: Hangs with her son and friends by day; with Owen Wilson at night. Secret lovers, yeah, that's what they are. [Gatecrasher]
• Michelle Williams says that after her breakup with Heath Ledger, she "didn't know where to go. I couldn't imagine any place in the world that was gonna feel good to me." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which mournful solo artist is obsessed with his own level of fame? After convincing himself on a recent flight to Australia that he would be mobbed in the streets, the scrawny singer was nonplussed that most Aussies didn't recognize him." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! Translated from Ted Casablanca: A female star who has had cosmetic surgery and has a "sexually mysterious partner in crime" type celeb boyfriend (who may get cosmetic surgery himself in 2009) is hooked on coke; often the two of them show up high in front of paparazzi. [E!]
• Pubic blind item! "Which female A-lister's Sapphic relationship with a top editrix came to a crashing halt when the wordsmith saw her 'wildly' unkempt nether regions?" [Rush & Molloy]
• Two former concierges of the Four Seasons Hotel in Chicago are spilling about celebrity guests in a new book: Read mini-tales about Nicole Kidman, Diana Ross, Madonna and Elton John by clicking the link. [Rush & Molloy]
• Melissa Joan Hart looks painfully pregnant, ouch. [TMZ]
• Brooke Burke has given birth to a boy, her fourth child and first son. [People]
• American Idol alum Nikki McKibbin is in the psych ward for having a breakdown; she told her friend she wanted to kill herself and when the cops arrived at her home she had a bunch of pills in her hand. Poor thing. [Perez Hilton]
• The Office's Jenna Fischer: "I haven't had my teeth whitened. I don't get Mystic Tan treatments or any of that stuff. [Pam should] always look like a believable girl, not all plastic-y like a movie star." [Rush & Molloy]

The Good:
Hermione Granger is all grown up! Emma Watson looks lovely, albeit a little mature.

Amy Winehouse should study English "It Girl" and recovered cokehead Tara Palmer Tompkinson: Look how polished she looks while sober!

Annie Lennox is still keeping it real (in some really awesome boots) after all these years.

The Bad:
English children's TV program host Konnie Huq missed the memo that the rugged boot with dress thing is totally over.

Model Erin O'Connor looks bland and not particularly model-like in nautical striping.

Contrary to what Stacy and Clinton say, I've rarely seen an animal print read as anything but trashy. Behold Natassia Maltha, best known for her roles as "Girl in Bed" in 40 Days and 40 Nights and "Redhead at Party" in Dark Angel.

The Ugly:
Diane von Furstenberg brings you today's edition of "What Was She Thinking?"

Not only is Twiggy wearing tapered pants, she couldn't even be bothered to tie her shoes!

[All photos via Bauer-Griffin.]

• After driving to the courthouse for her custody hearing yesterday and arriving extremely late, Britney ended up not going inside. [TMZ]
  
• As Britney left the courthouse, she said, "I'm scared." Then she made a brief stop inside the Little Brown Church in Studio City. "She wasn't even there for long, just in and out," says assistant pastor Michael Kosik. And even though Brit was wearing white she "did not try to get married." Well thank God. "I think she just needed to get away," the pastor adds. Later she had lunch. [People]
  
• The commissioner on Brit's case has ruled that Britney will not have visitation rights restored — at least until the next hearing on February 19. Of course, it would help if she made it inside the courtroom. [TMZ]
  
• Joel Madden says Harlow Winter Kate Madden "looks so much like her mom (Nicole Richie) it's crazy!" He adds, "I suck when it comes to diapers, but I'm learning." [PageSix.com]

• Dennis Quaid gave an exclusive interview to the Los Angeles Times, saying that he and his wife watched in terror after their twins were given 1,000 times the recommended dose of the blood thinner heparin. Long, terrifying story, with details like, "At one point, as a bandage was being changed, blood spurted from the area around Thomas' clipped umbilical cord and hit a wall about 5 feet away, Quaid, 53, remembered." [LA Times]
• ABC execs are upset that Katie Holmes appeared on Good Morning America and Diane Sawyer only asked questions and about her hair and clothes — nothing about the new Andrew Morton book; nothing about Suri being the spawn of L. Ron Hubbard, boo. [Page Six]
• Grammy-winning singer Jill Scott liked the look of a male model on a photo shoot; later she was seen having dinner with him. Hot! [Page Six]
• Chloe Sevigny on her TV dad Harry Dean Stanton: "He never recognizes me. But, whatever, he's 86 years old. And he still likes to party... I think he comes to the set sometimes straight from the party." [Page Six]
• Did Jessica Simpson's father tip off the photographers to Jess and Tony Romo's location in Mexico — and get a cut of the profits? [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which acting legend in a current release once offered a national beauty queen a vial of cocaine during a daytime golf round? While the lady declined, he seemed not to realize his coke had been clogged with moisture and sticky globs fell out of his schnoz the rest of the afternoon." [Gatecrasher]
• Another reason to love Johnny Depp: He visited Great Ormond Street Hospital (where his daughter was treated when her kidneys failed after E. coli poisoning) and donated £1million. [Mirror]
• In case you missed it the first time, MSNBC is reporting last week's midweek madness news: That Jamie Lynn Spears has been dumped by her baby-daddy, Casey Aldridge. Yawn. [MSNBC]
• Um, they're also reporting that the National Enquirer says Reese Witherspoon has accepted Jake Gyllenhaal's marriage proposal. Yeah... No. Not likely. [MSNBC]
• The upcoming season of American Idol means that people are betting on how many assistants Paula Abdul will go through. "Some people would last weeks, others just days," says a source. [MSNBC]
• Hilary Duff denies that she was lip-synching at a concert in Mexico, despite footage of her moving her lips but no sounds coming out. "It was faulty equipment," her peeps claim. [People]
• Eva Longoria's unsolicited update on her womb: "I'm not pregnant." Thanks for the info. [People]
• Singer Annie Lennox has been dropped by her record label. "They totally ignored me. It was bizarre, a kick in the teeth," she says. "They didn't even pick up phone calls or emails for three weeks." Now the song "Why" is stuck in our head. This is the book I never read, these are the words I never said! This is he path I'll never tread, these are the dreams I'll dream instead... [Mirror]
• Do these pictures of Mark Ronson on his way to Amy Winehouse's flat show him carrying a packet of cocaine? [This Is London]
• Michael Stipe got himself out of jury duty in Athens, GA. Lucky duck. [AP]

• The scene: Miami, the last stop on Jennifer Lopez's concert tour. J. Lo: "Marc and I are expecting a baby!" The crowd: Goes wild. Us, reading this: No shit, Sherlock. [People]
  
• But wait, is Jenny from the block having twins or not? [E!]
  
• Oooh! A picture snapped right before the Fabio/George Clooney fight! George is giving the finger, because he's a badass. [TMZ]
  
• Britney Spears' and Kevin Federline's lawyers are returning to court — she allegedly has failed to follow drug-testing procedures. [People]
  
• Tom Cruise is amazed that his wife, Katie, uh, Kate Holmes ran the marathon. "She's impressive," he says. "She inspires me." [People]

• Amy Winehouse was supposed to shoot a video for her song "Love Is A Losing Game," but failed to show up after a "boozy night out." They should just film the boozy night out and make that a video. At least you know she'll like the concept. [Kelly Osbourne fell down the stairs at the National TV Awards in the UK and slipped a disc. She's out of the hospital but has to wear a neck brace. [Mirror]
• Michael Jackson says artists today aren't being "experimental and innovative enough." [The Sun]
• Nicolas Cage was seen in New York "wearing ridiculously pointy shoes." Ugh! Slow gossip today! [Page Six]
• Annie Lennox was not happy about people clapping before a number ended at a recent concert. She flipped the audience the bird, told them they were loud and rude and that they should "go see KC and the Sunshine Band if [they] want to act that way." Love her! [Page Six]