[New York, November 10. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Ready for a mega-eyeroll? A "fan" is threatening to kill her cat, Fuzzy, and eat the animal unless Miley Cyrus reopens her Twitter account. The girl says:

"This is NOT a prank or a hoax. I am not joking, even if some will choose to interpret it that way. Cooking a cat is not illegal in my country, in fact it's part of our culture. I'm not asking for money or any other benefit. Fuzzy is my cat and I will not entertain any offers of selling or giving him away. If Miley doesn't tweet again, this WILL happen, and I'm as serious as a heart attack." [ONTD via Ocean Up]

• By the by, the 53-year-old man arrested for stalking Miley will not face felony charges. [TMZ]
• The Teen Thieves — who allegedly broke into the homes of Lindsay Lohan, Orlando Bloom, Audrina Patridge and others — were possibly going to target Mariah Carey and Rihanna next. TMZ calls them the Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch™. [TMZ]
• The L.A Times calls the Teen Thieves the "Bling Ring," since the kids were after jewelry. [LA Times]
• A seized computer used by one of the Teen Thieves had pictures of Lindsay and Sam shopping for Rolex watches downloaded on it. And! There was a picture on the computer of someone wearing a blue Rolex, possibly after the burglary. It's like they used gossip sites to "shop" for what they wanted to steal. ALLEGEDLY. [TMZ, TMZ]
• Add Britney Spears, Jessica Biel, Hayden Panettiere, Bette Midler (?!?), Shania Twain (?!?!) and Goldie Hawn (?!?!) to the list of celebs whose photos the Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch had on their computer. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears has been wearing some "chunky bling" on that finger, so naturally, she's engaged. [The Sun]
• Michael Lohan can't stop talking about Lindsay: "Dina is saying that I'm lying - that Lindsay doesn't have a problem and that she's okay… But I have proof that Dina has told me Lindsay is on death's doorstep, that she doesn't have much time left. There have been frantic calls. And I'm going to prove that Dina is the liar, not me." Good grief, man. Aren't some things private? Apparently not: Michael Lohan will "prove" that Dina is lying by playing numerous voice-mail messages she's left for him — on Monday's Entertainment Tonight. [Gatecrasher]
• I'm sure you'll find this simply shocking, but socialite Tinsley Mortimer's upcoming reality show will be sorta fake. [Page Six]
• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner had a Sheva Brachot. [People]
• Anderson Cooper. In an opulent hotel in India. With a four-poster mahogany bed. And a large round bathtub, filled with bubbles and rose petals. [Page Six]
• This new Alice In Wonderland extended trailer is nightmarishly beautiful. Johnny Depp scares me a little. Is this what Tim Burton's dreams look like? [PopWrap]
• It's confirmed: Levi is going "Full Johnson" in Playgirl. I'm cocksure jokes will follow. [TMZ]
• Charlize Theron auctioned off a meeting with Nelson Mandela… without notifying Nelson Mandela. [Page Six]
• If you have $28 million (€19 million), you can buy Castello di Castagneto Po — the castle in the Italian hills where French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy spent her early childhood. The neo-Gothic place is surrounded by 175 acres "replete with vegetable gardens, orchards, flowering terraces, ancient greenhouses, a caretaker's house and a farm building." here is a picture of the humble abode. [Reuters]
• Chris Brown has been hanging out with Natalie Nunn from The Bad Girls Club. In the bio for the show she says she "enjoys cruising in her sugar daddies' expensive cars and painting the town red with her cool celebrity friends." Yup, SO COOL. [TMZ]
• Here's the thing about the reality show starring Jon Gosselin and Nadya Suleman — to be called Jon - Kate = Jon + Octomom (which we mentioned yesterday: Jon's rep says: "This is the first I've even heard of it. This isn't happening." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meet the Hayes family, whose new show Table For 12, will air next month when Jon & Kate is gone. [NY Post]
• Josh Duhamel denies that he cheated on Fergie with a stripper. His rep says: This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity… This story is absolutely ridiculous." [E!]
• Kevin Federline is in therapy as part of Celebrity Fit Club, and High School Musical star KayCee Stroh, who's also on the show, says: "Kevin's as cool as a cucumber. He keeps it all together. All the rest of us are sobbing like babies, but Kevin is pretty calm and collected." [E!]
• An auction house disclosed that some Michael Jackson memorabilia was previously owned by David Gest; Gest claimed they had no right to use his name and demanded $200,000. So the auction house is suing Gest. [TMZ]
• Some Michael Jackson fans picketed the This Is It premiere Tuesday night, feeling that he was "neglected, used, and emotionally tormented until his last days" and "while this footage was being shot, people around him knew that he looked like he might have died." [Page Six]
• Even though people find the commercial for DirecTV featuring a scene from Tommy Boy — and starring the late Chris Farley and David Spade kind of tasteless, Spade doesn't have a problem with bringing Farley back to life and says: "These commercials are cool. They're well done. They're clever. And that they would include Tommy Boy in that company, I thought was very flattering… Oh, my God if [Farley] was here, I guarantee he'd be stoked that this little movie is included." [People]
• Jessica Biel will star and produce Fucking Engaged, a "raunchy comedy" from "rookie screenwriter" Julia Brownell. The pitch: A couple makes a pact to have sex every day leading to their wedding so they don't turn into their crusty old parents. Kudos to Brownell for selling her first script! I don't know her but she went to my screenwriting school. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Anne Heche will be in two comedy flicks — one of which is the Will Ferrell/Mark Wahlberg movie The Other Guys. [Variety]
• Has one of Anna Nicole Smith's former doctors been hiding some key medical records? [TMZ]
• So there was a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that offended Catholics. What else is new? [E!]
• Donald Trump's crew has started work on a new golf resort in Scotland — despite opposition from many, including Tilda Swinton. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• At the link, Jane Campion explains why she was so moved by the tragic affair between John Keats and Fanny Brawne, the subject of her new film, Bright Star. [Telegraph]
• Mel B. says she's honored by gay men finding her attractive: "I try hard with my body… I don't look like a bloke though!" [Daily Express]
• Real Housewife Kandi Burruss talks about her ex-fiancé's murder at the link. [NY Post]
• ABC had plans to have skywriters spray giant Vs over major cities to promote new TV show V, but have decided it might scare folks. [NY Post]
• Corey Feldman is "deeply hurt" by his wife filing for divorce. [People]
• Some of the pros from Dancing With The Stars will join the cast of Burn The Floor on Broadway next month. [NY Post]
• Q: I cry when I watch...
  A: "Everything! I'm half Irish-I cry at commercials. I recently saw a movie called The Greatest. We watched it at 8 a.m., and I was ruined for the rest of the day. I had a headache from crying." — Tim McGraw. [Readers' Digest]
• "I could do with another boob lift, but no way. I don't want to end up looking like (Jocelyn Wildenstein). She looked freaky." — Courtney Love, after meeting Wildenstein. [MSNBC]
• I spotted her in the crowd and thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on, but she came backstage with this good-looking dude and I assumed it was her boyfriend. The other problem was that I don't speak Spanish and she had no English. But the guy did, so I just spoke to him. I was a bit nervous because of how beautiful she was. The more I drank, the more I made things worse. I later found out she was on the phone to her mother the whole time saying, 'Buble's gay. He's hitting on my friend.' She couldn't believe it…" — MIchael Bublé on meeting his new girlfriend. [The Sun]
• "Make sure you have a date night just the two of you together, without the kids." — Hugh Jackman's advice on keeping a family happy. [Mirror]
• "I shave about once a week now. It kind of started to come in just like peach fuzz. I always wanted to shave. It is a very natural process. For my birthday I got a lot of shaving stuff." — Chaz Bono. [People]
• Q: TBS has said your show will be like a street party. What does that mean to you, a street party?
  A: "Probably what it means to TBS is that it's going to be safe and a lot of fun and properly lit. A street party to me means it's dark, it's fun, you stay after the party, and you just try to condense as much fun into that one hour." — George Lopez, possibly one of the only Latinos with a late night talk show. [Reuters]
• "Thank you to those who appreciate and understand that the album cover is deliberately campy. It's an (homage) to the past. It IS ridiculous. For those that don't get it: oh well… Glad to have gotten your attention. Androgyny. Rock n Roll." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert, on his Glamour Shots album cover. [MSNBC]
• "I fear the worst. Look at Elvis, Anna Nicole Smith, Heath Ledger - who was a close friend of hers. It could be a year, a month, a week - who knows?" — Michael Lohan tries to predict when Lindsay is going to die. [MSNBC]

• Gerard Butler is not, repeat, not dating Jennifer Aniston.

"I love her to death," he says. "She's the coolest and she's become a great friend, but there's nothing going on. And if there was, I'd be happy to say it!" Next week's tabloids covers: JEN'S HEARTBREAK! REJECTED BY GERARD! [E!]

• Starbucks barista to Nicole Kidman: "You know who you look like — that lady who used to be married to Tom Cruise. What's her name?" [Page Six]
• Randy and Evi Quaid were arrested yesterday, but they posted bail last night after the Presidio County Sheriff was kind enough to drive them to an ATM. Apparently law enforcement sources believe Randy and Evi have a pattern of staying in pricey hotels and not paying when they leave. [TMZ]
• Jude Law is the biological father of a newborn child, but he has told his one night stand Samantha Burke that he will not see their daughter for three months. He needs to finish Hamlet on Broadway first. [Telegraph, Telegraph]
• Bruce Willis doesn't like Facebook: "It's frightening, I think it's like the fall of Rome. Three years from now, after all the bees are dead..." [Mirror]
• In her book, Mackenzie Phillips claims she had sex with Mick Jagger when she was 18 (he would have been around 35). "I've been waiting for this since you were 10 years old," Jagger allegedly told her. She says: "I'd known Mick since I was a kid, and maybe most people think their parents' friends are old and gross. But this was Mick Jagger. Mick Jagger! He was hot. He had the most perfect ass in history." [NY Post]
• Britney Spears' 50/50 custody split with Kevin Federline will continue, at least through the end of the year. [TMZ]
• Chris Brown has booked his first show since assaulting Rihanna in February: He'll play Power 105.1's Powerhouse '09 concert with Keri Hilson, TheDream and Trey Songz. A source says: "Chris isn't advertiser-safe yet - his image has a long way to go… But for this show, he'll draw a crowd, so the producers of the show are willing to pay." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jessica Alba's one-year-old daughter Honor is becoming bilingual. "I am a mother who shoves information down her throat, poor thing," Jessica says. "I sing her songs about colors in Spanish and English when I'm cooking. Literally I integrate learning into everything I do. We're into colors because I feel that's something a 15-month-old can sort of identify. So now she kind of points to blue and says 'azul' and I say 'Yes, azul, muy bien!' It's slow going but she's sort of picking it up." [People]
• How is Travis Barker doing after surviving a plane crash and the death of his good buddy DJ AM? Friend Rob Dyrdek says he's doing "better than I would probably think anyone would really expect." [People]
• "Mariah Carey is in a happy place with projects, love life." [USA Today]
• Brody Jenner's girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, is suing Joe Francis, alleging assault and battery. Joe Francis' response: "Jayde Nicole is an absolute and total liar. The only thing that Jayde Nicole is famous for is having a tattoo of the word 'respect' above her vagina." What does that have to do with anything? [TMZ]
• Khloe Kardashian's fiance, Lamar Odom, called off his bachelor party, which was to be hosted by Joe Francis and Khloe's brother Rob. Lamar opted for a private dinner with his teammates (and Joe and Rob) instead, which sounds like a smart move. [TMZ]
• Lamar Odom's bachelor party was supposed to have "stripper poles, midgets, and tons of candy." Because Joe Francis is classy like that. [Page Six]
• Sources says Ok! magazine will pay $300,000 for an exclusive on Khloe Kardashian's wedding. The money will go to Khloe and her mom. [Gatecrasher]
• Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner's former "number one" girlfriend, is getting her own reality show, Planet Holly. Holly says: "It's the perfect excuse for me to be normal in a lighthearted comedy romp. Think Mary Tyler Moore.' Um… MTM did not pose nude or have implants, though, right? [NY Daily News]
• Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford has filed court documents alleging that her stressful relationship with her ex husband has affected her ability to produce breast milk for her three-month old daughter. [Extra]
• Kelly Rutherford has been granted a temporary restraining order against her ex-husband, claiming he follows, threatens and scares her, her nanny, and her mother. [NY Daily News]
• Even though Kelis and Nas have been pictured together, their divorce is still on; there will be a hearing November 20. [TMZ]
• Jermaine Jackson's Michael Jackson tribute: "badly organized." [BBC News]
• Anne Heche says that she doesn't plan on marrying the father of her six-month-old child: "I want to stay in love." [E!]
• "Dancing with the Stars goes recession chic by reusing Shawn Johnson's costume for Natalie Coughlin." [NY Daily News]
• Click to see a picture of Emma Thompson is a Morris dancer outfit. [Daily Mail]
• Ricky Gervais explains how he got Philip Seymour Hoffman to do a cameo in his new film The Invention Of Lying: "I didn't know Philip Seymour Hoffman, but I sent him an email saying, 'Dear Philip, please do my new film. There's no money as I spent the entire budget on testicular implants. But don't think of them as my testicles, think of them as our testicles.' He loved it, and it worked." [Telegraph]
• From a great piece on Catherine Deneuve: "When we are talking of her role as a fashion model, and we reach the face, she confirms that she has never had any work done on it, while many of her age have. 'I haven't had the time,' she jokes. Then she adds: 'If you want an explanation, you would have to meet my mother. She is 98. It's genetic.'" [Times Of London]
• Edward Norton will play The Hulk in the Avengers movie. Norton says: "The thing about [Marvel's] universe that's fun is that it all cross-pollinates. Even when I was working on the script [for 'The Incredible Hulk'], I tried to plug in the whole Super-Soldier Serum from Captain America." [MTV News]
• "Olivia Newton-John claims to have seen UFO." [Telegraph]
• Justin Guarini, whose nose job nose is kind of insane, is getting married this weekend in a "spiritual," "intimate" service, which means Kelly Clarkson probably won't be there. [Prz]
• Brigitte Bardot is about to turn 75, and this column "reveals a life lived between bed and bedlam." [Daily Mail]
• Redmond O'Neal has been moved from jail to a an in-patient drug rehab facility. [People]
• Charles Manson follower Susan Atkins, who admitted killing actress Sharon Tate 40 years ago, has died. [NY Post]
• "As ailing showbiz mogul Dick Clark prepares to celebrate his 80th birthday in November, a new documentary threatens to tarnish his image by recounting his controversial beginnings." One word: Payola. [Reuters]
• "Richard Pryor's two children say they were never told their late father set up a trust for them…" [TMZ]
• "I haven't watched Vampire Diaries. And I haven't seen Twilight either." — True Blood's Stephen Moyer. [E!]
• "I think that by understanding Chanel's character and different sources of inspiration, you understand the rest of her life." — Audrey Tautou. [WSJ]
• "It's the first time that I really want to have kids. I've been very fortunate in my career, and my life has been about that for so long that you get bored of it. You're ready for your life to be about other people and other things." — Vince Vaughn, recently engaged... Will this turn into another "poor Jennifer Aniston" story? [People]
• "I wanna eat my potatoes and French fries and sponge cakes. When I play a role like this, I can't have my carbs and it makes me crazy." — Gerard Butler. [E!]
• "It's odd for my kids when they turn up at the theater and see me being a parent in a film. I know they're thinking, 'Who are these kids that are around my dad?' But they seem OK with it. Actually, my girls completely boss me. I have no power in my house whatsoever. I am the geek of my household. I am so low-status in my house, you wouldn't believe it. I'm definitely not treated like a movie star." — Clive Owen, who plays a widower dad in his new film The Boys Are Back. [Parade]
• "I love playing Peggy [Olson]. Finding the balance between playing her, finding new things, and not losing her, and constantly finding enough new stuff to keep her remaining herself…Playing her is an exercise in remaining simple, despite the fact that she is becoming more complicated. [She's] not out to hut anyone, she's just trying to figure out who she is. But it still is agenda-free. She is looking for her place in the world." — Elisabeth Moss, who is on the September cover of Vanice magazine. [JustJared]
• "Hitler was a genius orator. To make that many people turn and change and hate, he had to be a showman and he was." — Michael Jackson, on Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's tapes, which are now a book. [Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson was asked by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, "Is there a lot of jealousy in your profession?" "Absolutely," Jackson says, "and 'M' is one of them. Madonna." [Page Six]
• "We're more in love than ever. It's great." — Patricia Arquette, who filed for divorce from husband Thomas Jane earlier this year but is now back with him. [People]
• "Atheism has been on the rise for years now, and the Bible of the atheists is [Darwin's] The Origin of Species. We have a situation in our country where young people are entering college with a belief in God and exiting with that faith being stripped and shredded. What we want to do is have student make an informed, educated decision before they chuck their faith.… I am proud to bring this to people's attention. You see things in the world that are truly distressing and you think, 'What can I do?' Well this is something I can do." — Kirk Cameron. [People]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Lindsay Lohan hit up L.A.'s Crown Bar earlier this month — and took 15-year-old sister Ali with her. A source says:

"They partied until after 1 a.m., and she treated Ali as if she were just one of her friends at the club with her. And Ali was excited to be there." Earlier in the evening, the ladies were elsewhere: "They walked into Teddy's at the Roosevelt Hotel around midnight. Both of them were smoking like chimneys and dancing around." [MSNBC Scoop via Life & Style]

• Samantha Burke is looking to sell exclusive photos when she gives birth to Jude Law's baby. Jude's Hamlet on Broadway opens October 6, the same day little love child Sophia is due. Which tab will pay for an interview and pix? [Page Six]
• Remember how Jude Law pushed a female photographer out of the way as he left a London club in July? 'The Crown Prosecution Service has decided not to take action against him, deciding he had "no intention to assault anyone." [Telegraph]
• Patrick Swayze will be cremated and his ashes will be spread across his New Mexican Rancho de Días Alegres (Ranch of Happy Days), which he called his favorite place in the world. [Newser]
• Dancing With The Stars will honor Patrick Swayze on its September 23 results show. [People]
• PAPYRUS, a suicide prevention group, says that Lady Gaga's performance at the VMAs was "sensationalizing and romanticizing suicide," which is "irresponsible." A commenter named "nick" writes: "erm dude lmao, she didnt pretend to stab herself, paparazzi is about how fame can cause death, shes sending out a message to young people that The Fame is a tough path and not everyone should go down it. Like princess diana died because of fame, jesus you guys just cry about anyone whos doing so amazingly well! GaGa your awesome!" [Pop Crunch]
• Bobby Brown is one of the only "celebrities" in the new Celebrity Fit Club, unless you count Shar Jackson. [TMZ]
• Drew Barrymore had never put on skates before shooting Whip It, but she and her castmates went to a roller-derby boot camp. She says of her decision to direct: "I've been producing for 15 years, and it's all been preparing for the big test. I really care so much about what I do, and I love filmmaking so much. I love every detail and every aspect of it. I think slow and steady wins the race, too. I didn't need to direct when I was 21. I wanted to produce and learn about the filmmaking process and understand every element going into it, so that by the time I did direct, I was as knowledgeable and well-prepared as possible." [AP]
• Serena Williams: Not in danger of losing any of her estimated $12 million in annual endorsement deals after her outburst at the US Open. [AdAge]
• Diddy's cop drama: "It was just a little misunderstanding…miscommunication. Me and the officer, we worked it out… Things were a little aggressive for me, which I'm not really used to." [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson's busty date at the VMAs is a singer he manages, but some people seemed to think it was tacky to bring her to see Janet's tribute to Michael. Like Jennifer Lopez, for instance. [Page Six]
• In this video, Jon Gosselin says that even though Stephanie Santoro's mom claims he once said he threatened suicide and had a sexual relationship with her daughter, it's not true and "people are always trying to make money" off of him. [Radar Online]
• Meanwhile: Kate Gosselin as been asked to appear on The View on Friday, the same day as Kathy Griffin, who recently opened the Creative Arts Emmys in Ed Hardy-wear saying, "I just banged Jon Gosselin." Plus: Kate will get a show called Mom Logic, where she'll work with Southern cook Paula Deen. Their show will have "a mix of advice, health and beauty tips and celebrity gossip geared toward moms and moms-to-be." [Radar]
• Spotted at an NYC gay party: Daniel Craig. [Village Voice]
• Your morning cute: Walker, the new son of Idina Menzel and Taye Diggs.[People]
• BREAKING: Spencer gave Heidi a maltipoo puppy for her birthday. Wait, isn't Jessica Simpson missing a maltipoo? [People]
• Anne Heche and "lazy-ass" ex-husband Coley Laffoon now have a highly paid court-ordered chaperone called a "parenting plan coordinator" who makes $375 an hour to teach them how to make effective parenting decisions. That's good money, but… yikes. [TMZ]
• Cops were called to the home of Rolling Stone guitarist Ronnie Wood after a "domestic disturbance" with 19-year-old girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova. No arrests were made. [Mirror]
• A photographer to Mickey Rourke at 1:45pm at a fashion week event: "Smile! Why aren't you smiling?" Mickey: "Cause I'm still drunk." He also said: "I'm wearing the same suit I got from a bad movie I did seven years ago. It's still got the stains from a bullet hole. I just put this colorful pocket square in front of the stain so nobody can tell." [Page Six]
• Lost news! Ian Somerhalder, aka Boone, was en route to Hawaii yesterday. He teases: "The only thing I can say is that I'm going back for several episodes….I have a script that weighs like 200 pounds, but I don't really know what's happening." [EW]
• Guys, I never read celebrity litter-ature, but I just might have to get Kelly Osbourne's new book, Fierce. The description reads: "This book isn't just about me, it's about you. So whatever you're worried about, whatever you want to change, and whatever you want to shout about, me and my friends are here to help." [KellyOsbourne.com]
• Jill Scott will star in a Lifetime movie called Sins of the Mother, based on the novel Orange Mint and Honey by Carleen Brice. The plot revolves around a grad student who returns home to face her abusive, alcoholic mother — played by Scott — only to discover that her mom is sober and has a new life. [Variety]
• DVR Alert: George Takei and his husband will appear on the The Newlywed Game! [NY Daily News]
• "Livid Katie Price phones TV show to say she will NEVER name celebrity who raped her." [Daily Mail]
• In a poll, commissioned by UK's Children's Society, 55% of those questioned thought David Beckham was a good role model for kids; two-thirds of adults believe school-age children do not have appropriate role models in their lives. [Telegraph]
• "I had this, without going into detail, this epiphany, this awakening and it both terrified me and compelled me. I felt blessed and cursed in New Orleans and I was afraid to go back to New Orleans. I knew I had to confront my fears and make a movie in New Orleans so I requested we film in New Orleans so I could go through this catharsis. I really didn't know which way it would go. It was either going to be beautiful or a disaster. The first day of filming I couldn't remember my lines but then it began to flow." — Nicolas Cage on new flick Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans. [Mirror]
• Q: You've made over 40 films. Have your ideas about beauty changed as you've gotten older? A: I've just rewatched Paris, the new film I did that's coming out in America-and it talks about that. Because my character is 40 years old with three children and she feels like her love life is over. And actually her brother, who's very sick, gives her another view of her life by saying, "Go for it. You're lucky to be alive and healthy." So it's not about age. I believe that-that's why I started to dance at age 43 and why I'm doing other things. — Juliette Binoche. Click the link to see Juliette's paintings and an image from her dance performance. [W]  
• "I'm from Illinois, she was from Wisconsin, and I could understand a midwestern quality about her. She knew what she wanted to do: At 8 years old she was playing with her friend and asked her, 'What are you going to do when you grow up?' 'I don't know.' 'Well, I'm gonna be a painter.' At 8 years old, I was, 'I'm gonna be an actor.' So I could see that we shared a kind of focus." — Joan Allen on playing Georgia O'Keeffe in a new Lifetime movie. [AP]
• "I have no desire to have children. People keep saying that it'll change. I'm like, 'No, it's not going to change.' I think it would be really selfish to have a child right now. I'm never home. People don't always think about the quality of life when they're having a child. I love children but I have no desire to have my own child. I'm too nervous to procreate my own genes." — Chelsea Handler. [Telegraph]
• "Sue Sylvester can be a very dark person, and she has joy in her darkness. She loves showing people how cruel she can be. If it didn't live in me, I couldn't do it! In the pilot, when they're introducing my character, Matthew Morrison in the voice-over says, 'She may or may not have posed for Penthouse.' And I thought, 'Oh, OK. I want to play this part! Penthouse?' Plus, she is so cold and ruthless, and I thought this was a nice, extreme character and I wanted to play her." — Jane Lynch on her character in Glee. [USA Today]
• "I feel like (my private life is) no one's business. I don't know about your life. I don't want to, truthfully. It's not my business. It's a very strange thing. But somehow it's like there was some clause somewhere that said, ‘Well, you're a public person so we get to go into your house and search through your drawers.' I don't know who came up with it because I wouldn't have signed on. I don't think anybody would have… It's embarrassing that people are focused so much and putting so much money into gossip magazines to escape. The paparazzi and the magazines deserve their share of the blame, but they're just supplying a demand. It's unfortunate that people don't care that they've been lied to, they don't care that they're being sort of messed with and not given the full truth. They buy them anyway." — Jennifer Aniston. [MSNBC via Parade]
• "I'd rather have a rectal examination on live TV by a fellow with cold hands than have a Facebook page" — George Clooney. [Page Six]
• "My temper is ridiculously bad. I've had to say to Brian, 'You have to go and stop talking to me, because I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you with something, please leave.' I'd never own a gun for that reason. I wouldn't shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure." — Megan Fox to Rolling Stone. [Page Six]

Heche started out seeming candid and kooky in a sort of charming way. She said her ex-husband Coleman Laffoon wants her to "watch him run around in his little white shorts, playing soccer." The highlight of the above clip comes at about minute 1:00, when Heche starts talking over Dave, making awesome witch-fingers, and explaining that her ex "wants to still hang out with me [...] because I'm so fantastic." She seems a little wacked out, but hearing her unrestrainedly bash Laffoon is a lot more fun than watching some publicist-polished actress cross her legs and simper. Things get a little weird, though, as she repeatedly makes insinuations about the state of Dave's marriage. But not as weird as this:

Sorry Homer, your mom thinks you suck at soccer. Of course, since she thinks soccer practice is called "rehearsal," she may not know a lot about it. More importantly, though, Heche seems to have taken leave of her senses a little bit (on her marriage: "It's ovah ... red Rovah!"). Given her public battle with mental illness, this is kind of unsettling to watch. Even if she isn't having some kind of episode here (and to be fair, it must be annoying to have bunch of strangers speculating about your mental health every time you go off on your ex), it seems pretty unnecessary for her to mention her child while she's insulting his father on national TV. And if I were Dave's wife, I'd be a little pissed about all of Heche's eye-rolling about marriage.

Her ex definitely isn't happy. He fired back to Us about her allegations that he's a "lazy ass":

After coming home from showing two different clients two different condominiums, I was disturbed to see Anne taking out her personal frustration on the father of her child on national television.

He also wrote on Facebook,

I wish Anne Heche could see that public bullying isn't good for the soul or positive for her child. It's mean.

We kind of agree — but it's still hard to look away.

Anne Heche's Ex "Disturbed" by Her Letterman Appearance [Us Weekly]

• Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley: Headed for divorce? According to sources:

She's been "partying hard and hanging with a number of male admirers." The two, married in 2006, have not been photographed together since last December. [Gatecrasher]

• Chris Brown sat down with Larry King last night for a "no-holds-barred chat." Expect it to air sometime next week. Interesting that it wasn't not live — no one could call in or Tweet and tell Chris how they really feel about him. [E!]
• Meanwhile Rihanna went dancing with Serena Williams, Queen Latifah and Paula Patton. [Gatecrasher]
• At her concert in Bucharest, Madonna spoke out against the discrimination of Gypsies. She said it made her "sad" that the Roma peple were discriminated against. The crowd booed. [AP]
• These blurry pix are the "three slick hipsters" who allegedly ransacked Lindsay Lohan's house. [NY Daily News]
• WTF: Some fans were escorted from their seats by security for "dancing too provocatively" at the Britney Spears concert in NYC on Tuesday. This is the same woman who shimmied half-naked with a snake while moaning "I'm a slave for you," right? [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin's reaction to Kate Gosselin's interview with Larry King: "She didn't say anything. She just kept on redirecting and avoiding answering the questions." Jon adds: "When Larry's ready for me, I can answer questions." [MSNBC]
• Cops have located Jasmine Fiore's Mercedes, missing since her murder. Ryan Jenkins was seen leaving a hotel near San Diego on August 14 in the car — carrying a suitcase — it was the same suitcase that was later found to contain Fiore's body. [TMZ]
• Uh-oh: Gerard Butler's pug, Lolita, got into an "altercation" with a greyhound. The greyhound allegedly bit Gerard's dog twice — but the greyhound's owner says that Gerard's dog wasn't on a leash and that Gerard hit his greyhound on the head and shouted, "That dog should be put down!" [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ashley Olsen wore corduroy trousers and a turban to a Girl Talk concert in Brooklyn on Saturday. It was 90°. [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum gets naked in her new coffee-table book, Rankin's Heidilicious, out in October. She says: "It's very naughty. I've been shooting with this photographer, Rankin, for seven years, and working with him is fun because he always makes me look different. And he always gets me to take my clothes off for some reason. We'll do some job, and then he'll say, 'Why don't we shoot some more things,' and I'll wind up without anything on." [E!]
• Lily Allen looks effing hot on the cover of Elle UK. Inside she says: "I wish I'd never written [my song] 'Not Fair.' You know, the thought honestly - really, honestly - never even occurred to me that it would scare men. I thought it might empower women. I thought women would go: 'Oh God, yes, at last somebody is saying it.' I didn't think it would put me in a position where guys would be like, 'Whoa, no, I'm not sleeping with you in case you write something about it!'" [The Sun]
• Derek Jeter and MInka Kelly: Secretly engaged. [Page Six]
• Anne Heche was on Letterman last night and bashed her ex-husband, Coley Laffoon. She called him a "lazy ass" and when asked by Letterman what Lafdoon does for a living, Heche said: "He goes out to the mailbox and he opens up the little mailbox door and goes, 'Oh! I got a check from Anne! Oh! I got a check from Anne! Yay!'" [People]
• Evan Rachel Wood spills some details about her True Blood character Queen Sophie-Ann: "She's not necessarily a lesbian. Her human partner is a girl, but I'm pretty sure she goes both ways [laughs]. I think vampires are like that in general." In addition, that interview links to an Alexander Skarsgård shower scene. Le sigh. [E!, E!]
• Singer, songwriter, Mandy Moore's husband and now blogger: Ryan Adams will be writing a video game column for website The Awl. [Page Six]
• Mad Men's Christina Hendricks on the big screen! She will star alongside Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel in the romance Life As We Know It. [Variety]
• Blake Lively has joined the cast of Ben Affleck's crime thriller The Town, which also stars Jon Hamm. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Paulina Porizkova blogs: "I feel the need to constantly prove I'm not some dumb model." So she reads "lengthy sagas set in hot foreign lands." Her choices include: A Suitable Boy, The Soldier of the Great War, and Rain of Gold. "None of these books are under 500 pages," she writes, "so once read, they can be used to tone biceps or in step class." [Page Six via Modelinia.com]
• Are we supposed to be focusing on Carrie Ann Inaba's crotch in this "spay or neuter today" PETA ad? [People]
• Tom Sizemore: Charged with spousal battery. [TMZ]
• Bob Dylan's Christmas album: Not a joke. [NY Daily News]
• "Malaysia's government has barred Muslims from a concert by U.S. hip-hop stars the Black Eyed Peas next month because the event is organized by Irish beer giant Guinness, an official said Thursday." [AP]
• The new Darren Aronofsky film Black Swan has an explicit sex scene — "not just nice sweet innocent sex, we're talking ecstasy-induced, hungry, angry sex." This paper claims: "No wonder Darren didn't want Rachel Weisz, mother to his three-year-old child, to star." Huh. Well. Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis will star instead. [Daily Express]
• Joanne Woodward will take over her late husband Paul Newman's film project, Lucky Them, starring Marisa Tomei, which starts shooting in the fall. [Page Six]
• T-Mobile is pushing myTouch 3G, the product competing with the iPhone, and Whoopi Goldberg will star in some of the ads. Way less creepy than that Palm Pre lady. [AdWeek]
• A source close to Ryan O'Neal says there is no truth to the rumor that Redmond is getting his own reality show. [UPI]
• Robin Williams decided to get rid of his body hair for new movie World's Greatest Dad. "I shaved because if you don't, it's, like, animal-rights issues," he says. "With this, I said to [writer-director Bobcat Goldthwait], 'I think for this scene, I should take everything off because at this point he's literally shedding everything.' It's a breakdown, but in a weird way, a positive one." [LA Times]
• Isaiah Washington and his wife have fallen behind on their house payments and face eviction; the landlord claims the former Grey's Anatomy star owes $100,000 in rent. [USA Today]
• "The less and less you 'act,' great. I had a great acting teacher at Juilliard who said, 'Sometimes, Method acting can be like urinating in brown corduroy pants: You feel wonderful, and we see nothing.' " — Robin Williams. [LA Times]
• "I think women are bitchy. That's the difference. They'll smile at you and then kill you. The men just give it right at you. Oprah's just very cold. Oprah, if she don't need you, she don't know you. Streisand, they say she's desperately shy. I think when you've got $600million, take lessons on how not to be shy. If you've got $600million, say hello to everybody. They gave it to you." — Joan Rivers. [Daily Express]
• "Someone is going to take a tweezer to those brows, and I think her hair's going to change up a little bit. It's definitely time for her to sort of grow up a little bit. People are freaking out. There's a huge sort of battle, half the people are like, get them off! And other people are like, no! It's Betty! She's always going to be Betty, but yeah, the braces are gone, the brows are being trimmed, and she's going to get a little bit more of a swoop." — Ana Ortiz, aka Hilda on the upcoming changes on Ugly Betty. [NY Mag]
• "Being German, I had a pretty precise idea of what a German movie star would be like. But I've never been shot at in a film. Most of those scenes are actually quite funny to shoot. The blood is sticky, everything sticks to you and you're pretending to be in pain… I'm a big fan personally. Most actors are. All his movies are performance driven and he writes incredibly well for women. I loved Pam Grier in Jackie Brown." — Diane Kruger, on being in Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds. [HuffPo]
• "Man, we got so beaten over the head for that! It's not like the four boys and I wrote it. You get hired to do it, they give you a script and you learn your lines. If I could have, I would have done the whole thing in German, with subtitles-everyone in dirndls and on swings and milking cows. Each nominee would have had to ride in on a big cow and milk it." — Heidi Klum, on hosting the Emmys last year. [E!]

• Lily Allen was performing in Helsinki, Finland when she burst into tears. Before the show, she Tweeted:

"Fell over badly last night and I've really fucked my back up. Just had an injection in my bum. How am I gonna get through tonight's gig?" Throwing out your back is terrible! So is Lily's hair/makeup in these pix. [Daily Mail]

• Bill Maher said he once saw Brad Pitt roll the most perfect joint he had ever seen. "I'm an artist," Brad agreed. [NY Daily News]
• Brad Pitt is being added to Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes as the detective's arch enemy. The character of Moriarty was missing from a rough cut of the film, and movie execs insisted the famous nemesis be added to the flick. Ritchie called old pal Pitt (who was in Snatch) and he'll film this week in London. [Mirror]
• The Dancing With The Stars season 9 cast: Revealed! Macy Gray, Melissa Joan Hart, Kathy Ireland, Mya, Iron Chef host Mark Dacascos, Ashley Hamilton, former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin, Donny Osmond, Tom DeLay (?!?!?!), Olympic swimming gold medalist Natalie Coughlin, model Joanna Krupa, Debi Mazar, Kelly Osbourne, Aaron Carter, Chuck Liddell, and snowboarder Louie Vito. [ABC News]
• Jennifer Aniston complimented a woman pole-dancing on the set of The Bounty, saying she looked like a professional. The lady replied, "I am!" [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney plans to sue a photographer who climbed over the wall of his Lake Como home and took pictures of a 13-year-old girl changing in a guest room, as well as snaps of Clooney and gf Elisabetta Canalis. Cloons says: "I don't know about the law in the United States, but in Italy it's illegal for photographers to climb over my wall. He'll also press charges against two magazines who published the photos. [Gatecrasher]
• Beyoncé: Secretly taking ballet classes at Alvin Ailey School of Dance. [Gatecrasher]
• Jon Gosselin went to a party thrown by a student at Parsons School Of Design. He only stayed for 20 minutes, but arrived with a paparazzo and left with two female students. Keepin' it classy. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Even though Paula Abdul won't be on Dancing With The Stars, she MIGHT get a ABC show of her own. Paula's Wacky Clappy Variety Show? [TMZ]
• Madonna performed in Warsaw on Saturday even though it was a holy date, the Assumption of Mary feast. National group Pro Polonia called her a "crypto-Satanist," which is not very crypto. [Daily Express]
• Bob Dylan was on tour and took a walk in Long Branch, NJ, when he was stopped by cops; a resident had reported someone "wandering" around the neighborhood. A cop asked him for I.D. "I don't think she was familiar with his entire body of work," says a town official. [NY Daily News]
• Jennifer Lopez is looking pretty hot on the cover of InStyle and inside she's saying stuff like: "There's nothing as huge as giving birth to another human being and having to be responsible for another life. There's you before kids, and there's you after kids – and they're not the same you." [People]
• Mark Wahlberg was rushed to the hospital on Friday morning after suffering smoke inhalation on the set of The Frighter. A smoke machine was being used for atmosphere and Wahlberg breathed in too much. [RadarOnline, Daily Express]
• Amy Winehouse's divorce from Blake Fielder-Civil will be finalized at the end of the month, but Blake allegedly told a reporter: "I want to take her out for dinner and propose again. I hope that within five minutes we'll be planning where we're next going to get married." [Daily Mail]
• Blake also says: "She is looking beautiful and healthy now and it reminds me of the old Amy." [News Of The World]
• Amy will appear on Strictly Come Dancing in September as a backup singer for her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield, and there's a cute picture of them hugging at the link. [Mirror]
• Bodysnarky opening sentence of the day: "She's looking thinner than ever, but there's one part of Victoria Beckham that looks set to put on a lot of weight very quickly - her wallet. Posh Spice has landed a £3million contract on American Idol…" [Daily Mail]
• Joe Simpson is pushing Jessica Simpson as the perfect replacement for Paula Abdul on American Idol. [Page Six]
• Saturday night after a Fall Out Boy show, Ashlee Simpson and husband Pete Wentz were at a bar when Ashlee got wasted, yelled at Pete and made him leave his own party early. Charming! [Perez]
• Jane Fonda, 71, might marry 67-year-old Richard Perry next year, which would be her fourth wedding. [Daily Express]
• So many contradictory stories about MJ. We first heard that he was strong during rehearsals. This report claims: "Michael Jackson was so weak in his final days he needed to be SPOON-FED meals, his make-up artist has revealed." [The Sun]
• "Michael Jackson's body has been moved in secret to a new crypt, where it's been frozen." [Daily Express]
• This report claims that Michael Jackson will be buried on what would have been his 51st birthday, August 29. Or so says Joe Jackson. [Gatecrasher]
• You know how Michael Phelps was in a car accident last week? Turns out he was driving with an expired license and told cops he had a beer about an hour before the crash. [TMZ]
• George Michael on his car smashup: "Neither of us was charged because we were both stone cold sober. We both think the other is to blame so this is just an insurance fight." [E!]
• Eva Longoria is expanding her restaurant business, and soon she'll have a Beso Vegas and "Besitos" in ariports. [People]
• Kristin Bauer, who plays Pam on True Blood, thinks Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer will have kids together since Anna is "great" with Stephen's kids from previous relationships. [E!]
• Tons of Gossip Girl spoilers at the link, and yes, there are details on Chuck and Blair — with a HOT picture of the Bass. [People]
• Matthew Settle — Gossip Girl's Rufus — skateboards through New York during rush hour. [NY Times]
• Actress Aishwarya Rai has a chest infection with flu-like symptoms. [Times Of India]
• Anna Friel will play Holly Golightly in an upcoming stage production of Breakfast At Tiffany's in London. [Times Of London]
• The Office's Amy Ryan — who plays Holly Flax — is pregnant. [E!]
• An excerpt of Alana Stewart's book, My Journey With Farrah: A Story Of Life, Love And Friendship, at the link. [Daily Mail]
• Bananarama's back. [Daily Mail]
• Aberdeen, Washington has the title of one hometown hero Kurt Cobain's songs, "Come As You Are," posted at the entrance of town. An unofficial park has been established next to the bridge under which Cobain hung out and wrote songs. [LA Times]
• Blind item! "Which D-list relationship recently ended when the gal found out her man's secret vice was boy-on-boy action?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I can't tell you how far from a gold-digger I am. I've never dated a rich man in my life. I've always wondered how girl friends of mine could even ask their boyfriends to buy them clothes." — Samantha Burke, who was impregnated by Jude Law. [Daily Mail]
• "I thought it was an incredibly sexual role and a challenge to be an 'older woman' in the film. Roles always challenge me in some personal way and that was one I wanted to overcome: 'Wow, all of a sudden, you've become the "Older Woman" in a movie. Let's give the younger ones a run for their money.'" — Anne Heche on playing opposite Ashton Kutcher in Spread. [LA Times]
• "This season, I really want to get back to the guerilla style I used to have. I want to try to get back to my roots and make it crazy. In the first episode, I get buried alive in a coffin, six feet under 5,000 pounds of snow. I want people to realize I'm not complacent because I have a little bit of success and a little money. Hopefully in return I can raise the level of the art form to the level other art forms receive, like the cinema.… I just really loved the ability as a kid to do something that adults didn't understand. It was like power. Then I realized as a teenager that there was more to the art of magic than how you did it. It's trying to connect to somebody." — Criss Angel, whose Mindfreak is back on A&E for its 5th season. [LA Times]
• "I like everything about filming except the acting. In recent years I've had really bad attacks where I totally froze up. I thought 'Well, if I am going to get stage fright, then I am packing it in.'" — Hugh Grant. [Daily Mail]
• "I think anybody that's touring is going to have a carbon footprint. I think it's probably unfair to single out rock 'n' roll. There's many other things that are in the same category but as it happens we have a program to offset whatever carbon footprint we have." — The Edge, annoyed by critics of U2's travel. [Daily Express]
• "The Harry Potter books are not explicitly religious in the way that C.S. Lewis's Narnia tales are, but there is a strong sense of evil, and issues of good and evil are not only philosophical issues but also theological issues." —University of Massachusetts-Amherst philosophy professor Gareth B. Matthews. [UPI]
• "I think when I started I was working in the vein of The Dirty Dozen or The Devil's Brigade. But now watching the completed film with audiences, I don't think there has ever been a World War II movie like it. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your taste, but it's definitely a thing." — Quentin Tarantino on Inglourious Basterds. [WSJ]
• "Don Cheadle could play me, but I hope they just go with the obvious casting choice." — Richard Belzer, when asked who would play Richard Belzer if his crime novel about a a New York City police detective named Richard Belzer were made into a TV show. [Publishers Weekly]
• "I've had my heart broken before. Truly, truly broken. But when I look back at me in my heartbroken phase, it's pretty hilarious, because it felt so much more extreme than it really was. One of the things I love about (500) Days of Summer is that it doesn't make light of what we go through in romances, but it is honest about it and shows it for what it is, which is often profoundly funny." — Joseph Gordon-Levitt. [Guardian]
• "The speed of news creates so much vertigo. I am a very private person." — Penelope Cruz. [Telegraph]
• "We kind of rolled our eyes at the idea of having to make out." — Amanda Seyfried on her Jennifer's Body girl-on-girl scene with Megan Fox. [Page Six via Entertainment Weekly]
• "I remember really vividly kneeling by my bed as a nine-year-old, saying my prayers and asking God to give me boobs that were so big that if I laid on my back I wouldn't be able to see my feet. Eventually that request was granted. A bit of divine intervention displays the power of prayer. Every time before I go on stage, or go out where I know there will be a lot of press, I take a skipping rope and spend about ten minutes, fully clothed, skipping. I look like Rocky. This way I can ensure that everything is firmly in place and I won't have a wardrobe malfunction. Don't want those boulders doing a show of their own." — Katy Perry. [The Sun]

• Yesterday Jaime Pressly reportedly got so drunk at a gay bar in West Hollywood that she slumped down next to the building and urinated on the sidewalk in broad daylight.

• It sounds crazy, but she's definitely squatting over a puddle in the pictures at the link. There is also video of bystanders voicing shock and awe. [Perez Hilton]
• Update: She's denying everything. In her defense, the puddle looks more like water than urine. [Perez Hilton]
• A woman named Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise has filed guardianship petitions for each of Michael Jackson's kids. She also claims she was married to MJ, engaged to Blanket's real father, and is the mother of one of Tom Cruise's kids. [TMZ]
• In this video she names Paris and Prince's fathers and claims she did not donate eggs or carry the children, but they were conceived in her body, then transferred to a surrogate. Also, she says Connor Cruise was Michael Jackson's son but they gave him away to Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman because MJ "did not want his own child because of the color of his skin." [TMZ]
• In the video at the link another woman named Billie Jean explains that she is Blanket's mom because there's a double negative in the song of the same name that prove the kid is her son... even though it was written 19 years before Blanket was born. [TMZ]
• When Mark Lester told the News of the World that he may be the father of Paris Jackson, he added that he's upset he hasn't seen the kids. Today Lester told TMZ there's "absolutely nothing malicious" about his intentions and it's "highly unlikely" he'll go to court to prove he's the father or get visitation rights. [TMZ]
• The L.A. County Coroner's Office has completed their autopsy on Michael Jackson, but it's on an indefinite security hold because the LAPD says it's release could make the investigation into his death more difficult. [TMZ]
• This Is It, a movie composed from 80 hours of rehearsal footage shot before Michael Jackson's London concerts, will be released in theaters on October 30. [USA Today]
• A global farewell tribute concert for Michael Jackson is scheduled to take place next month in Vienna. Members of the Jackson family and international stars possibly including U2, Madonna, and Whitney Houston will perform MJ's hits. Jermaine Jackson said Vienna was special for Michael because he "loved castles." [Associated Press]
• Jon Gosselin was supposed to an interview with E! in response to Kate Gosselin's interview this morning on Today, but either TLC or In Touch, which had a Jon "exclusive" last week called off the interview. [Radar Online]
• A private investigator has released a fax he claims is from Pat McDermott, Olivia Newton-John's missing ex, asking investigators to stop searching for him. [Radar Online]
• A group of Malawian performers are staging a musical parody at the Edinburgh Fringe about Madonna's adoption of Mercy James. The all-Malawian cast wear shirts that say "adopt me" and the male actor who plays Madonna uses son David Banda as a step to climb onto the stage. [The Daily Mail]
• Here are spoilers about Spike Jonze/Kanye West short film which will be released on iTunes on September 8th. Let's just say Kanye throwing up rose petals isn't the craziest part of the film. [ONTD]
• Lee Najjar, the real estate mogul recently exposed as RHOA's "Big Poppa" was on MTV recent in an episode of Teen Cribs. His kids and his wife are also in the episode. [TMZ]
• Like his ex Katie Price, Peter Andre is planning to write a book. He's signed a £1.5million deal to write a cookbook. [The Mirror]
• Both Anne Heche and Ashton Kutcher worked out and dieted to look good in their explicit new film Spread. Demi Moore helped out by hanging around for Ashton's sex scenes. "Demi was there a lot," said co-star Margarita Leveiva, " She was kind to me. She wasn't there to freak us out or anything. She was incredibly kind and generous and made me feel safe." [People]
• Mark Ballas hopes Paula Abdul doesn't join the cast of Dancing With The Stars. "I think we're good with our judges," said Ballas. "I think she should be on the show as a competitor." [E!]
• Hugh Hefner sold his "English Manor" next to the Playboy Mansion for $18 million, $10 million less than he asked for. His sons grew up there, but they've gone away to college. [Times Of London]
• Nadya Suleman will be featured in a two hour special on FOX, which will air footage culled from seven months of filming her octuplets in her home. [Entertainment Tonight]
• OMG: It's a Gossip Girl/Twilight crossover! Chace Crawford was photographed making out with Ashley Greene. [TMZ]
• Check out the new Gossip Girl promo here: [E!]
• At the link, learn all about British model/TV host/fashion icon Alexa Chung and why she hates olives. [Times]
• Chelsea Handler is patching more shows to E!. "I'm thinking maybe something along the lines of a Chelsea Lately ‘After the Show,' kind of like the Oprah thing," said Handler. She's already working on a standup special of comedians regularly featured on the show. [Media Week]
• Jeremy Piven said of his film The Goods, "it's a bit raunchy. Also, the language is racy. James Brolin said he wouldn't even tell his wife [Barbara Streisand] the kind of role he was shooting. But then we had a private screening, and Barbra Streisand laughed the loudest." [The Daily Express]
• Diane Kruger says she'd like to appear on boyfriend Joshua Jackson's show Fringe. I'd love to be a gooey monster," she says. "[A role] where my eyes are popped out of my head or something – that would be fun." [People]
• "I would love to have a wife and kids, but you can't magic them out of thin air. I've never been that 'seven-year relationship' kind of guy. [But I'm ready] for the big relationship. I guess I've got to settle down soon, but I'm nervous to say it out loud because it might not happen." — Gerard Butler, who turns 40 in November. [Daily Express]
• "Oh yeah, they write some pretty funny stuff for Roger Sterling. It's good, isn't it? Sometimes you feel like, man, I wish I was more in the thick of it … but then when I watch something, I always have to remember, you never think of it that way. It's not always the person who is on the screen the most; it's sometimes someone who comes in and makes an impression and sticks out... People assume all actors just wants their face on TV more. There have been things where I have had to convince people to cut me out of scenes. I have no interest in just standing there and looking like an idiot, or trying to act a really badly written scene. This material is so good you just want more and more of it." — John Slattery [N.Y. Observer]

Burson made the original comment — about casting Hung — in Alex Witchel's NY Times Magazine profile of Anne Heche. She told Silverstein in a phone interview,

In terms of the quote: it is such a shame that I was either too tired to express myself correctly on the issue or part of my quote was left out because it is something that I think about a lot and I actually consider myself a warrior on front lines of this issue. It's something I am actively involved in on a daily basis in a way that most people are not. Nevertheless I do think that the part that I would have added or the part I hope I did add was that it is difficult to find an actress over 35 or over 40 who is funny and talented and is still working and has not quit the business.

Emphasis is Silverstein's. Burson continued,

In my personal experience I know five actresses off the top of my head if not 10 who are around the age of 40 who no longer go on auditions anymore because they are too fucking bummed out by how few roles there are.

Fair enough. But did Burson have to open her clarification with this?

I do think it's always hard to find pretty and funny. It's a difficult combo and it's something that's talked about in Hollywood. Blonde and funny. And that is definitely true with Anne. She's very funny and real and she's blonde and she's pretty. And this role happens to be for a beauty queen who needed to have serious emotional acting chops and at the same time was funny.

Maybe it wouldn't be "hard to find pretty and funny" if actresses weren't pigeonholed as one or the other, or if we thought of humor as sexy in women the way we do in men. Of course, it's not Burson's fault that Hollywood deals in simplistic gender stereotypes. But as someone who says "I feel so passionately about the issue" of creating compelling female characters over 35, she could certainly challenge these stereotypes a bit more.

Colette Burson Clarifies Remark From NY Times Magazine [Women & Hollywood]

Earlier: Anne Heche: A "Beautiful, Talented, Funny Woman Over 35"

Heche is 40, and seems very happy with a new relationship, new baby, and several new roles, including the ex-wife of a male prostitute in HBO's "Hung," and a star turn opposite Ashton Kutcher in the new movie Spread. Unfortunately, Spread sounds totally upsetting: Witchel says Anne Heche plays "a corporate lawyer in L.A., a savvy older woman who relishes the control of "keeping" Kutcher as her boy toy even as she frantically tries to appear his contemporary physically." Her efforts include vaginal rejuvenation surgery, which seems especially disturbing given that Heche was sexually abused by her father and got herpes from him while still in diapers. Heche sounds game — she says,

It's interesting when all of a sudden you're the older woman. I had to ask myself: ‘What am I not confident about? Why does this scare me?' As a theme in my life, I've always looked at how I can rid myself of shame, so I definitely saw this character as a way to get rid of shame about getting older. Did I understand that there was a person who wanted so desperately to feel loved that they would put themselves through almost any trial, hers ended up being surgery, to stay connected to her youth? Sure. So I had a lot of compassion for this woman.

Still, it's a little sad that Heche's comeback from mental illness (stemming from her abuse and her mother's unwillingness to acknowledge it) has arrived in the form of a role that requires her character to undergo plastic surgery "to remain appealing to younger men." It's even sadder that "Hung" co-creator Colette Burson says of Heche's role,

We auditioned a lot of people. It is incredibly difficult to find beautiful, talented, funny women over 35.

Witchel doesn't interrogate this statement, preferring to quip, "the hardest part may be getting them to admit they're over 35." And while she is sensitive in dealing with Heche's horrific childhood, her relationships with Ellen DeGeneres and ex-husband Coleman Laffoon, and her current family life, Witchel's description of Heche's looks verges on the bizarre. She writes,

her face had no discernible pores or oil glands. People have killed for less, but the urge never quite struck - maybe because she makes no distinctions between herself as a celebrity and the mere mortals she encounters in the course of a day.

It's certainly charitable of Witchel that she never wanted to kill her subject during their interview. But she could've gone a little farther and actually questioned the notion that Heche is part of some rare breed of talented over-35 women — and instead examined a system that reduces a woman with an incredibly complex and often painful life to an age and a lack of oil glands.

Anne Heche Is Playing It Normal Now [NYT]

• A source claims that Jude Law, who, as Dodai mentioned yesterday, is currently caught up in another scandal involving a 24-year-old model who is carrying his fourth child, gets into such situations because he's seeking validation about his looks. [DailyMail]

• "It's actually embarrassing how much validation Jude needs about his looks. He is constantly looking in the mirror at his bald patch and always needs to be told he looks okay," says a source, "We all laugh about how he will bed anyone young who flatters him. This particular affair is just another case of some woman saying how handsome he is. He simply can't resist." [DailyMail]
• Samantha Burke, the mother of Law's child, released a statement via her lawyers about her pregnancy yesterday: "Samantha, her mom, and her family can affirm that Jude has been responsive and supportive throughout the relationship and pregnancy, and know that he will remain so as a father once Baby Sophia is born." [People]
• Law is reportedly afraid that Burke will release intimate photographs she took while the couple were together during Law's time filming Sherlock Holmes in New York City: "Samantha was totally smitten with Jude and enjoyed photographing him hugely. It was a passionate fling and there was a real animal attraction," says a source, "He's been ashen with anxiety, especially because he's putting his loved ones through more stress." [DailyMail]
• "They are just really special creatures and highly evolved. To tell you the truth, I'm convinced I was a dolphin in another life and that's why I'm so attracted to them."-Drew Barrymore [ShowbizSpy]
• Jaime Pressly is engaged to lawyer Simran Singh. Pressly split from Eric Calvo, her former fiance and father of her 2-year-old son, Dezi, last November. [People]
• Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt are apparently back together. "They are definitely happy again," says a source. [USWeekly]
• Tim Burton doesn't understand why parents won't let their children see his films: "I don't know why adults keep fighting that," Burton says, "They keep fighting the fairy tales that have been told since the beginning of mankind. They're fighting Pinocchio. They forget what it's like to be kids. Kids like to be scared. Most great children's literature is politically incorrect, so I don't know why they can't get used to it by now." [DailyExpress]
• "People who project negativity ultimately are crying out for their own broken souls. Trying to save a hater is like trying to teach astrophysics to a wino! LOL Chuuuuch!" -Nick Cannon on Twitter, in response to Eminem's "diss track," about Mariah Carey [E!]
• "I went to a lot of therapy. I talked my head off and pounded enough pillows and confronted enough ghosts. I didn't avoid the feelings of what my childhood was. I went right into them and went as deeply as I could." She does seem remarkably free of anger or bitterness, at this point, at least. "I think people saw how hard it was for me. It's what makes me the artist that I am, it's my bag of sorrow, of human tragedy that I've lived through, and I go to this well every single time I create a character. But that no longer dictates my daily life."- Anne Heche on the difficult period she went through following her split from Ellen DeGeneres [NYTimes]
• When faced with paparazzi or swine flu, James Spader chose...swine flu? "I'm a bit phobic... I told him (the doctor), 'You should be shutting down the whole street!' So I go out, I flee the building, I'm standing outside and there are the paparazzi snapping photos and video. I can't go anywhere, there's no car, so I'm faced with that dilemma: the paparazzi or go back in the building with the swine flu. I went back in the building." [DailyExpress]
• "My problem with women is I love them all, really. If I see a woman who is sweet and innocent, I fall in love with her, I want to hug her and take care of her and all that lovely stuff. Then I see this sex-kitten type walking past me and I think, ‘Wow! That's my woman!' I appreciate women for all sorts of reasons and it can get complicated."- Gerard Butler on his "complicated" reasons for loving women. [ShowbizSpy]
• Salma Hayek is allegedly angry that Jennifer Aniston received an Emmy nomination for her stint on 30 Rock while Hayek didn't. "Salma was angry and swearing in Spanish when the news broke," says a source, "It's not that she isn't happy for Jen, but she feels her own work was as good if not better. They just gave Jen a nomination for the press. They should be ashamed!" [ShowbizSpy]
• When Ashton Kutcher was first starting out in Hollywood, he bought a ton of fake designer clothing to convince his family back home that he was doing well: "I was broke, really running out of money. I knew I had to go home for the holidays, but I couldn't expose the fact that it wasn't going well," Kutcher says, "So I bought my whole family these fake watches and fake Versace pants and fake anything I could find, like fake Calvin Klein T-shirts, so I could . . . show them how well I was doing even though I didn't have a place to live." [NYPost]
• Dustin "Screech Powers" Diamond currently owes $21,015.62 in unpaid taxes. Maybe he should start selling Screech's Secret Sauce? [TMZ]
• "Is "asks" even a word? If not, sorry 4 my layziness with grammar."- Jessica Simpson via Twitter. [ONTD]
• Renee Zellweger was spotted buying Yves Saint Laurent knockoffs. [PageSix]
• AskMen.com will be banning all Megan Fox news on August 4. ""You can have too much of a good thing," says editor James Bassil, "We're giving our readers a one-day reprieve from the woman we've been drowning in all summer." [TheSun]
• "Fucking redneck douchebaggery. Unmitigated douchebaggery. Why are they holding signs that say, 'Whatchoo talking about, Willis?' These people are called 'racially sensitive', what they should be called is racist, backward motherfuckers."-Janeane Garofalo on the Teabaggers. [Guardian]

• Eminem says Elton John helped him fight his drug addiction. "He had a substance-abuse problem in the past. So when I first wanted to get sober, I called him," explains Em.

• He continues, "He's somebody who's in the business and can identify and relate to the lifestyle and how hectic things can be. He understands, like, the pressure and any other reasons that you wanna come up with for doing drugs. Me and him have had similar lives and stuff. So I reached out to him and told him, 'Look, I'm going through a problem, and I need your advice.'" [The Daily Express]
• Eminem is sending everyone who pre-orders his new album Relapse from the official website a copy of the video for "3 a.m." Also, he Tweeted: "I'm giving away an extra free song with my album if you buy the Relapse CD. I'm still on the run, my darling." [Rolling Stone]
• Hollywood producer Jon Peters' tell-all book will reveal that Barbara Streisand dated Robert Redford, Ryan O'Neal and Kris Kristofferson. [UPI]
• Farrah Fawcett has dropped the lawsuit she filed over the iconic photo of her in a red swimsuit. [TMZ]
• Craig Nevius is suing Ryan O'Neal and others, because he says he was responsible for the Farrah Fawcett documentary that will air tomorrow on NBC, but was pushed out of the project and O'Neal "physically threatened him." [TMZ]
• Kevin and "Aunt " Jodi Kreider, brother and sister-in-law of Kate Gosselin on Jon and Kate Plus 8 say that Jon had to empty his 401K because Kate has been keeping the money they earned from their reality show to herself. [Star]
• In this video interview, Jodi Kreider says, "It's a very sad situation... This is going to affect these children terribly, if she goes for a divorce. I think right now Kate is very lost and very blinded by her actions and what she is doing — [she] is not being a mother that is nurturing and hands on." [Radar Online]
• Jesus Luz's dad says that Madonna and his son are indeed having some sort of commitment ceremony, but it won't be legally binding. "The Kabbalah ceremony (that) will link up my son Jesus Luz and Madonna only confirms that he is extremely happy. I don't know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know Kabbalah (or if the ceremony) will have legal validity." [The Daily Express]
• To celebrate his birthday Robert Pattinson went out to dinner with Kristen Stewart... and his parents, plus a few New Moon crew members. [E!]
• Andre Agassi and Steffi Graff are suing companies that they say illegally used their names in website domain names. [UPI]
• Ashley Olsen posed for a series of "shocking" pictures in V Man magazine, in which her hair is dark and she's wearing a bra top. Mostly they're shocking because she doesn't looks more mature than when she was 8. [The L.A. Times]
• Pearl Jam bassist Jeff Ament was jumped and robbed by three thugs with knives. The robbers smashed the window of his car and chased after him when he tried to get away. They made off with $7,000 and Ament suffered a laceration on his head, but he's OK and the whole thing was caught on a security camera. [TMZ]
• Glenn Close wrote on the Huffington Post about her trip to prison for The Oprah Winfrey Show to talk about the Puppies Behind Bars program, in which inmates train service dogs. The footage will air on Friday's show. [The Huffington Post]
• Simon Cowell says in an interview with PETA, "I think it's nice that [the Obamas] have made an issue of buying a dog for the kids. What I think would be great would be if they also took in a shelter dog, just from anywhere, to balance it. I'll even pay for the dog food!" [Entertainment Weekly]
• Bette Midler has some unsolicited dating advice for Jennifer Aniston: "She should find somebody who is really hot, who's not in show business. Somebody with a lot of money, and she should live the large life and forget about these a—holes. She's a great girl. She's got everything going for her." Um, thanks? [People]
• In this video a homeless woman defends Katharine McPhee from the paparazzi: [Perez Hilton]
• Katie Price's management company will no longer represent her, but they're sticking with her husband Peter Andre, who recently announced he's divorcing her. [Mirror]
• Steven Speilburg says he created the video game "Boom Box" because he wanted a game that all of his seven children could play. He said he plays just about every video game that comes out and is a big fan of the Wii. "It's been very, very good for a parent like me who wants our kids not to be couch potatoes, but to get up and move their bodies around more," said Spielberg. [Reuters]
• James Tupper says of his newborn son with Anne Heche, "It's a bit like having an unreasonable employer. He doesn't give breaks." [People]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch has been moved to a halfway house from the federal prison where he was serving his sentence for not paying taxes on his $1 million prize. [Yahoo]
• Hugh Jackman says he wasn't uncomfortable while giving his son "the talk." He said, "My dad never ever did it with me so I was very adamant that I was going to do it with my son." Jackman also told his son, "You just got to respect girls. But he goes, 'Dad are they hot, though?' That's what he always wants to know. I try to tell him that he not use me to get to them." [People]
• Shanna Moakler, who quit the Miss California USA organization because of Carrie Prejean called Ryan Seacrest's radio show this morning when she was very upset. You can listen here: [Perez Hilton]
• Morrissey has cancelled another show, but it's still not clear what illness he's suffering from. [BBC]
• Martin Scorsese may want Leonardo DiCaprio for the upcoming Frank Sinatra biopic, but the studio wants Johnny Depp. We don't see either in the role. Suggestions? [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
• Scotland Yard officials are considering cutting back on police protection for junior members of the royal family because the bill comes to £50 million a year. [The Daily Mail]
• Janice Dickinson attacked the paparazzi last night. You can check out the video and decide whether you think she was on something or not. [Perez Hilton]
• DMX was released from jail today after serving 90 days for cruelty to animals, possession of narcotic drugs, theft and possession of marijuana. [TMZ]
• Kevin Smith discussed why he decided to direct the film A Couple of Dicks, starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, Which he didn't write. He says, "After Zack and Miri - or after, rather, the collapse of Zack and Miri - I was just like, I don't feel like writing anything right now. I read it and I was like, this is like Lethal Weapon with 40 percent less action, which is something I can get my head around. On 30 Rock, one of the posters in Tracy's office is for a movie called Black Cop / White Cop, so when it was announced people were just like,"It's Black Cop / White Cop!" But it's not race-specific. It's not, "He's a white cop who plays it by the book. And he's a slaphappy black dude who's gonna teach him how to misbehave and be a real cop!" It's two guys who are longtime partners who kind of depend on the friendship." [New York Magazine]
• Mariska Hargitay is on Capitol Hill with her family for the second day in a row. [Politico]
• Dateline is devoting an entire hour to Taylor Swift later this month. Remember when that was a new show? [AP]
• In her Goop newsletter, Gwyneth Paltrow advised that people should play Coldplay if they are looking for good party music. "Gwyneth Paltrow is not a music expert but is an avid listener and knows how to get down," she wrote. [The Daily Express]
• There's more talk about cougars here from Vivica A. Fox, if you can stand it. [CBS News]
• Tori Spelling says when she was pregnant she was afraid of having a girl. "It turns out that Stella is a total mama's girl," she says of her 11-month-old. "For all my fears, without my even trying, Stella wants her mama. When she is in [husband] Dean's arms, she lunges for me the way Liam did for him." [People]
• Here's Winona Ryder's secret to looking young, according to a friend: "She is a very healthy eater, and I think that is a big part of it," says Collea. "It sounds boring, but the girl eats a lot of salads. And you know those giant Big Gulps cups that most people fill with soda? She's got hers filled with water." [People]
• Roadside Attractions bought the worldwide distribution right to Good Hair a documentary Chris Rock made about African-American hair culture after his daughter asked him, "Daddy, how come I don't have good hair?" [Variety]

• A picture of Zach Braff smoking weed has surfaced. He's the next Michael Phelps! (Except for like, all the medals.) [Perez Hilton]

• Speaking of Michael Phelps, Kelloggs has dumped 2 tons of cereal with boxes featuring Phelps at the San Francisco Food Bank. [Perez Hilton]
• There's reportedly friction between Rihanna's people and Chris Brown's people. Chris's handlers are desperate to put out a picture of the two together, while Rihanna's posse is outraged at Chris and say a picture of the two together will hurt her career. [TMZ]
• The father of Chris Brown's manager, Tina Davis, says the speculation that his daughter is having a romantic relationship with Chris and texted him on the night of the attack is nothing but "old rumors." Davis was first accused of hooking up with Chris in 2005, when he was 16, but they have always denied it. [Yahoo]
• Rihanna partied at a club last night with friends for a belated 21st birthday celebration. Chris was not in attendance. [E!]
• Sort of good news: Chris Brown has withdrawn himself from consideration for a Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Award. [Yahoo]
• There were only four donations made to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's charity last year. One from Angie, one from Brad, on from an Ocean's Eleven producer, and curiously, one from E!. It's unclear what favor the network was looking for, as it certainly didn't inspire Angie and Brad to chat with Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet. [Fox News]
• John Mayer has approached jeweller Lorraine Schwartz to create a diamond engagement ring for Jennifer Aniston. Apparently that gold toe ring he got her didn't cut it. [The Mirror]
• Ivanka Trump thinks it's funny that people keep comparing her to Paris Hilton. She says: "It's no more obvious a comparison than between myself and George Bush. Paris is fine - she is what she is - but her lifestyle wouldn't appeal to me." [The Daily Expres]
• Though DJ AM's rep denies it, there's a rumor that he was booked on the Continental flight that crashed in Buffalo last month but didn't board the plane. If he did, that would mean he survived a second fatal plane crash. [TMZ]
• In this video, Peaches Geldof recounts a sweet story about the time Michael Jackson sat her on his knee and stroked her when she was a child. [The Sun]
• When asked how it felt to be returning to the red carpet after a hiatus, Julia Roberts said, "Just terrifying, awful. It's scary out there – but it's nice ... I've put on three different outfits to come here tonight, three!" [People]
• David Boreanaz and his wife are expecting their second child. They have a 6-year-old son. [People]
• Some very creepy human being took a hidden video of Vanessa Hudgens during a workout class at her gym. [Perez Hilton]
• The Parents Television Council has filed complaint about Family Guy. They're objecting to parts of last week's episode that "bestiality, orgies and babies eating sperm." The PTC didn't complain that Peter was involved in a gay 11 way orgy, so at least they're not homophobic! [NY Magazine]
• Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones had lunch with former Defense Secretary Bill Cohen and his wife Janet in Washington, D.C. today. [Politico]
• LeAnn Rimes is also in D.C. talking to members of Congress about her battle with psoriasis. [Politico]
• Anne Heche gave birth to her first child with boyfriend/co-star James Tupper this weekend. They've named the boy Atlas. [Us]
• There are new pictures of Patrick Swayze on the cover of The National Enquirer and he doesn't look very good. [The L.A. Times]
• Gisele Bundchen says she's looking forward to having a big family but for now she's enjoying her 18-month-old stepson John Edward Moynahan. "It's amazing that I have the opportunity to hang out with my stepson all the time," says Gisele. "He is so kind. He loves blueberries, and every now and then my dog, Vida, tries to get some food from him. He is so nice that he will give her the blueberries first. He is so cute and has such a sweet demeanor." [People]
• Katie Holmes' bob haircut is no more. She she showed up at the Japanese premiere of Valkyrie with extensions. [E!]
• Ashton Kutcher has posted more profound thoughts on Twitter. He writes: "can we just get clear, calling some one 'gay' or 'fag' is as derogatory as calling someone a 'nigger'. U look like an idiot when you do it." But have the people of Twitter had it with Kutcher? One of his followers responded, "what are you a fucking philosopher…learn how to punch and learn how to stop being so gay kelso." [Jossip]
• Michael Jackson has added 20 more dates to his London concert series. [E!]
• James Gandolfini's doctor says his vocal cords need a rest so the Wednesday matinee performance of his Broadway play God of Carnage was cancelled. [AP]
• HBO has apologized to the Mormon church because an upcoming episode of Big Love shows the religion's secretive endowment ceremony. But, HBO isn't pulling the episode. [AP]
• For some reason Hugh Hefner was the one who called ex-girlfriend Holly Madison and told her she was being offered a spot on Dancing With the Stars. Former co-girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson says, ""I think people get on her and think she doesn't know how to dance - but hip-hop dances she needs to work on, but ballroom dancing she's great at, she has great feet." [People]

• Sources say the woman who texted Chris Brown, "triggering" the assault on Rihanna was his manager Tina Davis, 40, who is rumored to have had a relationship with Brown when he was 16. [TMZ]

• It just keeps getting worse. Not only are Chris Brown and Rihanna reportedly recording a duet for his new album, TMZ reports that a music producer rushed them into the studio because "the heightened emotions would translate powerfully into the music." Sources claim the two were "very, very emotional ... the feeling in the room was pure love." [TMZ]
• Akon says he's be happy to work with Chris Brown again. "I wouldn't take anybody's personal issues or problems- I won't hold them accountable for that when it comes to work. I think it's two separate things," said Akon. [AP]
• Jesse McCartney would also love to work with Chris. He says: "From what I've seen and from what I know of [Brown], he's always been a gentleman. I've always known him as just a really nice guy. He's always been supportive of me too. Even in the early years when he was on top and I was just building my way up. He's always been really supportive…I think he'll be okay." [Perez Hilton]
• Not everyone is heaping praise on Chris Brown, but don't get too excited. This criticism comes from Donald Trump. He says he stands by a recent quote in which he calls Rihanna a loser. "If she goes back to him, she's absolutely crazy — they say that hitters are quitters," said Trump. "If she goes back to Chris Brown, who beat the hell out of her, she's a loser." [Extra]
• Oprah is dedicating a show this week to "all the Rihannas of the world" and talking about domestic violence. It's unclear why Tyra Banks is a guest. [Jossip]
• Ha. Someone took a picture of Columbia student James Franco sleeping in class. [TMZ]
• It was announced this morning that Nadya Suleman has accepted the help of Angels in Waiting, but now the organization has issued a statement saying they are not connected to Suleman in any way. It appears there may be more than one organization called "Angels in Waiting." [Perez Hilton]
• With everyone in the Suleman family constantly doing interviews, Nadya has decided it's time for the octuplets to get in on the action. She holds each of the babies in the hospital in this video. [Radar]
• American Idol told viewers to call 1-866-IDOLS-13 to vote for contestant Anoop Desai, but that number is already in use by a phone sex company. [TMZ]
• American Idol has set up another number for tonight's voting. [New York Magazine]
• Britney really is back. She went on a shopping spree in Miami. [People]
• Hayden Panettiere is supposedly trying to get ex/co-star Milo Ventimiglia fired. Sources on the set say she's behaving like a child. "She is making it difficult for everyone involved… She refuses to be on the set at the same time as him," said one source. [Perez Hilton]
• Jay Leno is performing a free show on April 7 in Detroit for unemployed autoworkers. It's called "Jay's Comedy Stimulus Plan." [NY Times]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are back together. Their rep says: "They hit a rough patch. But in every long-term relationship, people go through ups and downs. These two are very much in love and plan to be together for a long time." [Perez Hilton]
• Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins testified before Congress today about musicians getting paid fairly. [Politico]
• Anne Heche's divorce has been finalized. She and ex-husband Coley Laffoon will share custody of their son Homer. [Star]
• Here's the trailer for Powder Blue. There's probably a plot to the movie, but people seem to be excited about it mainly because Jessica Biel goes nude for her role as a stripper. Sigh. [ONTD]
• Tom Felton, a.k.a. Draco Malfoy has Twittered that he's releasing his album "In Good Hands" on iTunes next month. [ONTD]
• Paris Hilton says she hopes BFF Nicole Richie is having a boy. "I would love for Harlow to have a little brother to look after her," says Paris. [ONTD]
• After a party at the Kabbalah center in Beverly Hills, Ashton Kutcher tried to get a drunk Demi Moore into the car without alerting the paparazzi. Judging from this series of pictures, he was unsuccessful. [Socialite Life]
• Here are pictures of Freida Pinto in the new issue of Elle. [ONTD]
• Lily Allen says she is not promiscuous. "I haven't slept with many people and on a promotional trip you don't get a chance to meet or shag anyone, and I don't like one-night stands," said Allen. [ONTD]
• Tony Award nominee Domhnall Gleeson is expected to join the cast of the new Harry Potter film as Bill Weasley. His father Brendan Gleeson plays "Mad Eye" Moody. [Muggle Net]
• Apparently Alex McCord of The Real Housewives of New York City had a job, but she's been laid off. She worked from home in visual merchandising for Victoria's Secret. She says she may have to get rid of her nanny. [Perez Hilton]
• There will be a Battlestar Galactica retrospective at the U.N. on March 17 about how the show explored themes of "human rights, children and armed conflict, terrorism, human rights and reconciliation and dialogue among civilizations and faith." There will be a panel featuring U.N. representatives, show producers, and actors moderated by fan Whoopi Goldberg. [ONTD]
• Ewan McGregor found out someone was writing a fake Twitter account pretending to be him and had it taken down. [The Business Insider]
• Coolio has been charged with one felony count of drug possession and two misdemeanors, battery and possession of a smoking device, following his arrest last week at LAX. [People]
• Disney has moved the Christmas release of The Princess and the Frog up two weeks. They don't want to compete with Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel. [Variety]
• David Alan Grier's Chocolate News won't be renewed. [The New York Times]
• Tina Turner has postponed two U.K. concerts because she has the flu. [The Star]
• Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian describe themselves as "kissing bandits" because, as Khloe says, they "kiss then run away." The newly-single Kourtney says, "I have made a ban for myself – to be single. I cannot have a boyfriend until at least a year." [People]
• Chris Rock's brother Tony has been charged with drunk driving. [TMZ]
• Marcia Cross says her daughters Eden and Savannah are big talkers. "They happen to be very verbal girls and I think that comes from me. Their mom is pretty verbal," she said. [People]
• Bad news for those planning on drinking away their economic woes: A popular bartender at the Boston bar that inspired the show Cheers has been laid off. [CBS News]
• Jimmy Boyd, the child singer and actor best known for the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" died of cancer over the weekend. He was 70. [AP]
• Kelly Clarkson says she has no desire to have kids. "I would not be a good mother. I mean, I love being an aunt to my niece and nephew. And I used to want to, like, adopt 10 kids — because I had friends who were adopted, and I thought that was the coolest thing, to be chosen. But again, my job is too selfish." [Star]
• Kelly also says, "I've never been in love. I want to be so badly – I'm a hopeless romantic, but I haven't been there yet." [People]

• Too bad you missed Britney's Tampa concert: At the end of one number, she announced, "My pussy's hanging out." Why, yes, there is video. [TMZ]

• Britney's dad fired three dancers from her tour for suspected drug use. Keepin' it clean! [Daily Mail]
• WTF. Madonna dressed as a naughty schoolgirl for Purim? She seems to be wearing Lourdes' clothes. [The Sun]
• Madonna and Jesus Luz's mom are both bleach blondes who wear skimpy tops? [Gatecrasher]
• Miley Cyrus has tachycardia: her heart rate exceeds the range of a normal resting heart rate. She writes in her autobiography: "The type of tachycardia I have isn't dangerous. It won't hurt me, but it does bother me. There is never a time onstage when I'm not thinking about my heart." [Gatecrasher]
• Little Jakey Gyllenhaal looks like a brawny hunk in this picture from The Prince Of Persia. [The Life Files]
• So you know how Usher slammed Chris Brown, and then apologized for his comments? An insider says he was "forced" to do so. [Gatecrasher]
• This piece is about why couples reunite. It begins, "No one - not Oprah, not anyone - can figure out why Rihanna decided to get back together with an allegedly abusive Chris Brown." [NY Post]
• Usually we're talking about which team David Beckham is going to play for; this story is about which team he would like to own. "I have the right to own an MLS franchise, which I will action immediately after I have stopped playing," Beckham says. You also need about $40 million and a stadium. [BBC News]
• If you watched Dancing With The Stars last night you know that replacing Jewel and Nancy O'Dell, who were sidelined by injuries, are Holly Madison and Melissa Rycroft — the latter really stretching the definition of the word "star." She was dumped on The Bachelor. [AP]
• This story begins, "Should Dancing With the Stars be renamed Dancing With People You Might Have Heard Of? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of 14, has a new house. Her father bought her a four-bedroom, three-bath place in Orange County, CA; the money probably came from the donations and from TV shows who pay her for interviews. Elizabeth Snead of the LA Times writes: "Tell us how you feel about this freaky freeloader — on food stamps, disability and lord knows what else — getting a new home when so many honest, hard-working people in the country are losing theirs." [LA Times]
• Whoa, Real Housewife of New York Kelly Killoren Bensimon was arrested for assault! Her boyfriend, Nicholas Stefanov, told cops she punched him… [NY Daily News]
• Gretchen Rossi of Real Housewives of Orange County denies cheating on her late fiancé. But what's this about calling some dude her boyfriend in a 911 call? [People]
• Uh-oh: TMZ is getting more involved in celebrities' lives: They saved Andy Dick from getting arrested. [TMZ]
• Lawyers for the late Anna Nicole Smith are asking the Supreme Court for help — the money dispute involving her dead husband and his dead son is crazy complicated. Everyone has passed away but the legal issues live on! [AP]
• Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester may star in a thriller called The Roommate. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Rebecca Romijn will star in Eastwick, the new ABC pilot based on John Updike's The Witches Of Eastwick. She'll be the blonde one? [Variety]
• Marcia Cross probably won't be on the new Melrose Place, even though that would be awesome. She says: "I'm really busy. I say never say never, but it's not the first thing on my mind." [Mirror]
• Anil Kapoor of Slumdog Millionaire will be on Fox TV show 24! [Hindustan Times]
• U2 used to be all over Apple products, but their new album has a partnership with Blackberry. What does it mean??? [AdAge]
• If you want to see Mel B modeling underwear — as she "prepares" for her Vegas burlesque show — click the link at the end of this sentence. The white corset is nice. [Daily Mail]
• Roger Friedman says Jane Fonda is "fantastic" in the Broadway play 33 Variations. OMG Dolly Parton was in the audience??? [Fox 411]
• Michael J. Fox is doing a special for ABC about optimism. [AP]
• Here's an interview with the chiseled Irishman Cillian Murphy. [MetroMix]
• The dude accused of stalking Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels is a free man as his case was adjourned for six months. [USA Today, NY Daily News]
• Mischa Barton's been blogging about breaking up with the guy from the Kooks, yawn. [Perez]
• Anne Heche is officially single again, if you care. [E!]
• This picture of Reno 911's Niecy Nash celebrating her 39th birthday is awesomesauce. [Concrete Loop]
• Headline of the day: "Police Seize More Than $1 Million In Drugs From Phish Fans." [USA Today]
• Holy-crap blind item! "Which top model's plastic surgeon is in big trouble? He accidentally spilled acid on her chest while they were having sex in his office." [Gatecrasher]
• "Back up! Don't you ever touch me! You all make my life miserable." — Hayden Panettiere, to photographers and reporters on the red carpet at a hospital fundraising event. [MSNBC]
• "I have to brush my teeth before I go on stage, otherwise I don't feel smart enough." — Chris Martin. [The Sun]
• "I'm a very spiritual person and he's come to me many of times in my dreams… at the end of the day, he knows who's who and what's what. Believe that. And let me tell you something, the way he's feeling is going to come out. Like, trust me. Everything is going to come out later. You're going to see who he really loved and the ones that's standing up for him the right way is the ones representing him the right way. I'm going to tell you what my spiritual connection from Biggie is telling me, 'Don't look back, just do you' and that's why my success is right here for me… Biggie said 'Don't look back. Forget Cease, forget all of them because they going to be sorry. Cause what they did was wrong.'" — Lil Kim, who says the late Notorious B.I.G speaks to her from beyond the grave. [Perez]
• "I'm here and I'm doing it now and I'm working as hard as anybody. Life took me in a different direction, but I'm not here as a lark and I'm not whizzing in and stopping by for two weeks. I've done all kind of things in my career, but this feels like a big deal. Broadway has a mythic greatness — and an actual greatness. No one wanted me to be gone for a year and be unavailable for movies and stuff. They're right. It's a chunk of time. But I have learned from other times, mostly in terms of travel, when I said 'Oh, I'll do it next time.' There were many trips that I had a chance to take, and I'd say 'there's too much going on right now; I'm not going to do it' — and then I've never done it. Guys and Dolls felt like one of those things. In order to survive I will need to have a steady job again, like a television show, and so I don't know when this time will come again. But I fell in love with the play and I fell in love with the part. I thought it was a risk worth taking." — Lauren Graham, of Gilmore Girls, on her new stint as Adelaide in Guys and Dolls on Broadway. [WSJ]

• Has the fighting between Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony has turned physical? Yes, according to Star.

An insider says "They love hard; they fight hard — and sometimes that has led to pushing and shoving." More in Midweek Madness. [Star]

• For the first time since her mother, brother and nephew were murdered, Jennifer Hudson will return to the spotlight: She'll sing the national anthem at the Super Bowl on February 1st. [E!]
• Mickey Rourke on 9/11: "President Bush was in the wrong place at the wrong time, I don't know how anyone could have handled this situation. I don't give a shit who's in office, Bush or whoever, there is no simple solution to this problem... I'm not one of those who blames Bush for everything. This shit between Christians and Muslims goes back to the Crusades, doesn't it. It's too easy to blame everything on one guy. These are unpredictable, dangerous times, and I don't think that anyone really knows quite what to do." [Telegraph via GQ]
• While shooting Revolutionary Road, Kate Winslet would bug hubby Sam Mendes about the film after work, during dinner. [Daily Express]
• Guess who hid in a bathroom and then got kicked out of a Golden Globes party for slipping in uninvited? Ms. Paris Hilton. How times have changed. [Gatecrasher]
• Some of you may find Josh Duhamel and Fergie's wedding invite — which came with a caricature of the couple fishing — cute, but it seems very cheesy and Six Flags souvenir booth. It's supposedly a "reflection of both of their personalities." The invite lady explains: "Fergie loves bling and has a love for unicorns and Josh loves nature. The artwork had leaves and hidden details like a unicorn and the invites were decorated with crystals." Go ahead, click and giggle. [People]
• Jared Leto spent Golden Globes night hitting on newly married ex-girlfriend Scarlett Johansson. [OK!]
• Are Kate Winslet's Oscar hopes in jeopardy due to Holocaust backlash over her Nazi role in The Reader? [Telegraph]
• Britney news! She has new digs. "I just took my babies to our new home and they loved it! I can't wait to move in," she wrote on her website. (Or was it a Harvard grad?) Anyway, her Studio City mansion is up for sale, if you have $7 million. [People]
• Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts think that Nicole Kidman's daughter, Sunday, is after their first-born son, Alexander. "I think it's kind of weird and early, and I think she should back off, slow down and get her act together before that all happens," Liev says. He also says his son is "dishy." "I can say that about my son? The boy is really, really dishy." [News.com.au]
• Not So Blind Item: "Yes, that douchebag is leaving the TV show. But, wanna know the real reason? He's back on the drugs and alcohol, showing up late to work and being very unpleasant to work with. Is his homewrecking girlfriend gonna support him now???" [Perez]
• Talk about girl-on-girl crime: Heiress Casey Johnson got in a fight with her ex-girlfriend, Courtenay Semel (who was Lindsay Lohan's "roommate" and dated Tila Tequila) and Semel "beat the crap out of her and lit her hair on fire." Casey had to go to the hospital. [Page Six]
• Cue teen screams: Vanessa Hudgens might be in the next Twilight movie. [NY Daily News]
• Roman Polanski has no plans to ever return to the United States, according to a new filing, and his lawyer argues that Polanski does not need to be present for the court to rule on his motion to dismiss a three-decade-old rape charge. [AP]
• Amy Winehouse has been offered a movie role! She would play a music teacher in a "problem school," kind of like Michelle Pfeiffer's flick, Dangerous Minds. But Amy would have to "clean up her act." Do we think she can do it? [The Sun]
• Paula Abdul has changed her tune and is now saying of American Idol: "I am a big fan of the show. I am blessed to be on the show. It's the greatest show on television all around the world and ... a gazillion people would love to be in my shoes." Uh, weren't you just criticizing the show for putting your stalker on? "Well, that is true. But that's that. I can't talk about it anymore. It's an ongoing police investigation." [AP]
• Three baby-name experts have given the name Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck (Ben and Jen's new baby) an A-minus, a B and a B. [AP]
• Dev Patel from Slumdog Millionaire once moved his drama teacher to tears when he played a child in a hostage crisis in Russia! [Telegraph]
• Wax on, wax off: Jackie Chan is in negotiations to star in a remake of The Karate Kid. The new flick would be relocated to China and Jaden Smith — Will's son — would be the bullied boy. Oh, and Will Smith is producing, naturally. Banzai. [Hollywood Reporter]
• By the by, Will Smith thinks he can be President. "Oh yes, when he's out of office in eight years." [Daily Express]
• We highly doubt that Coolio said that Madonna looks like "a bag of crisps," because he is a rapper from Compton and says chips. But anyway, the story goes that Coolio said: "Have you seen Madonna lately without make up? She’s like a fucking bag of crisps." [The Sun]
• Charlie Sheen's ex-wife, Denise Richards, and new wife, Brooke Mueller, are on "friendly terms" now. [Perez]
• The Osbournes are headed back to TV! This time they'll host Osbournes Reloaded, a variety show with skits, impersonations and audience games. [Reuters]
• Anne Heche: Expecting another son? [People]
• Captain Mike from The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button has filed for divorce. As an aside, his dad is the late Richard Harris, aka Dumbledore. [TMZ]
• OJ Simpson's former attorney, Robert Shapiro, says: "He’s a sociopath." Clarity! [Fox 411]
• LOL! Video of Macy Gray drunk. Thank Dionysus she got in the passenger side of that car. [ONTD via Hollywood.TV]
• Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac: Going on tour for the first time since 2003. Stevie says the magic is still there and they're all excited to go on the road. Now everybody spin! [AP]
• Click if you want to see Lisa Marie Presley's twin girls, and read the words "time to paint Graceland pink." [People]
• Here's a very long story about how Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton lost her baby weight — "it's taken me a year." [Mirror]
• Did you know Rowan Atkinson (from Blackadder and Mr. Bean) once saved his family from a plane crash? "The pilot of the Cessna plane they were taking from Mombasa to Nairobi had passed out and despite a total lack of flying experience, Atkinson snatched the controls and slapped the pilot until he came round." [Daily Express]
• Mary J. Blige had an awesome birthday party in New York over the weekend, with her husband, Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Russell Simmons, Busta Rhymes, Stephon Marbury and a cake "so large that it had to be carried out by two people." [Page Six]
• Flavor Of Love is over, but VH1 felt it needed a replacement, so its new series is For The Love Of Ray J. You know, Brandy's brother? The dude in Kim Kardashian's sex tape? Yeah, I know: Downgrade. And when you're talking about Flavor Flav, it's hard to believe. [Concrete Loop]
• Click to see "Michelle Rodriguez Bin Laden." [The Life Files]
• Chaka Khan needs Activia yogurt, Miracle Whip and 2 ashtrays in her hotel room, among other things. [The Smoking Gun]
• "There are a lot of things I’m grateful for: my health, my family, my career, my family's health. We'll march on. We have to. There’s nothing you can do about it. You can't change what happened. Things could be worse. You remember that, and you go on with your life." — Kevin Bacon, on losing money due to Bernard Madoff's money scheme. [MSNBC via Life & Style]
• "I made love to a chicken in a cabaret in graduate school. It was called A Post-Apocalyptic Tryst. It really is the bravest thing I’ve ever done. I mean, honestly, I’m not that brave. But I did that in front of a lot of people. There wasn’t, like, penetration or anything, but I wined and dined the chicken, and then I made out with the chicken. The chicken wasn’t live; it was, like, a Perdue." — Liev Schreiber. [NY Mag]

• Jennifer Aniston talked to Entertainment Weekly about the tabloid reports that she's knocked up with John Mayer's baby: "Oh my God, it's hysterical. It's almost going to take away the fun from actually being able to say one day, 'I'm pregnant!' Stop stealing my thunder, motherfuckers!" Plus: She wasn't thrilled that Vogue used that "What Angelina did was very uncool" coverline: "I was just surprised that Vogue would go so tabloid. I was bummed. But you almost expect it. Big deal. Done. Next." [Yahoo News via E!]
• More from the EW cover story with Aniston: ''Everyone projects their thoughts on you. Everyone's got an opinion. I wish they didn't. I've gotten to the point where, if I focus on all of that stuff, I won't make a move, you know?" [EW]
• The prosecutor in the William Balfour trial alleges that the accused killed Jennifer Hudson's relatives because he was angry that his estranged wife was dating another man. Balfour has a long rap sheet full of drug offenses and car theft. A person from the neighborhood says: "He was always doing crazy [things], trying to carjack people." [USA Today, AP]
• As part of his Benjamin Button promotional obligations, Brad Pitt spoke to Larry King and talked about his mustache (it's for that Quentin Tarantino flick he's shooting right now), his kids ("Whenever they want to take over, we're ready"), and Barack Obama: "I think, overnight, we redefined what America's about. I couldn't be any happier and more hopeful for the — for America, for the upcoming — in the upcoming years." [CNN]

• Here's the entire Brad Pitt/Larry King transcript. It's interesting when Brad says, "I got to spend a few decades being idiotic and hell-bent and solipsistic, and everything else… I got time to get all that out of my system." And Larry asks, "You mean there was a wild Brad Pitt?" And Brad says: "I mean, wild in my book, yes. Yes, sure. I got away with a lot, Larry." [CNN]
• Madonna is taking Alex Rodriguez on tour with her in Brazil. Taking sand to the beach? [The Sun]
• It's good to be Oprah! She's taking her show to D.C. for the inauguration and has rented out the Opera House at the Kennedy Center to film her talk show the week of Jan. 20. "That's the place to be," she says, which means it is irrefutably true. [Time]
• Barbra Streisand is headed to D.C. for the Kennedy Center's Annual Honors gala on Sunday. Also being honored: Morgan Freeman, country star George Jones, The Who's Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey and choreographer Twyla Tharp. [Page Six]
• This report claims that Amy Winehouse gave her husband Blake Fielder-Civil a "farewell bonk" in the hospital before he went to jail. Apparently Blake "dashed" to Amy's bedside after failing his drug test, told her how sexy she looked, and, a source says, "It was obvious what went on." In a hospital bed. Then he zipped up his pants and went back to jail. [The Sun]
• A college class about Amy Winehouse?!? The singer's life is a music course at the University of the West of Scotland. Professor Allan Dumbreck says: "Amy Winehouse is a great example of the potential pitfalls in the music industry. She is recognised as a multi-award-winning great artist. But the by-product of that lifestyle can be stress and illness. We would look at how the industry is often not a supporter of longevity." [Telegraph]
• If you want to see Britney's "Circus" video, click away. What you'll see: Britney using her own damn perfume; people dancing in a circus ring; Brit and couple of lions yawning at each other. Christina Aguilera's circus-themed video was better. Also, does anyone really believe Britney is the "ring leader" of her show? [Pop Sugar]
• Britney "seemingly had no close friends on hand as she blew out her birthday candles" the other night in New York. Sniff. [Page Six]
• Another source says birthday girl Brit was "so out of it." [Rush & Molloy]
• Why did Kevin Federline talk to People about Britney? One source says: "He doesn’t do anything unless there is a financial motive behind it, period. There’s a fee connected to everything he does." Another source claims: "He’s been hounded for more than a year about telling his side of things. He’s just tossing a little out there in a place he trusts so that he can move on." Move on to what? [MSNBC Scoop]
• By the by, Britney's first husband, Jason Alexander, is in jail. [Star]
• Does Heidi Klum want Britney to be on Project Runway? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ooh, so as seen in Midweek Madness, Star claims that Jamie Lynn Spears had lipo while pregnant, but JLS is so angry about this "100% NOT true" story that she might sue. [TMZ]
• We should have seen this coming: Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen has a band. [Page Six]
• Balthazar Getty thinks Sienna Miller has been unfairly portrayed as a villain: "You can’t just point your finger at one person. Historically, women always get the short end of the stick." [The Sun]
• Katy Perry made a plaster cast of her boobs, so if you want to buy her rack, head over to the auction. It's for charity. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Kim Kardashian posed for Playboy once, and she might do it again! "Lately I have steered away from the sexier shoots, but it doesn't mean I'm afraid to be sexy or ashamed of that. I have no regrets." [People]
• Heidi Montag's mom on Heidi and Spencer's marriage: "I give it six months." [MSNBC]
• The Grammys will be handed out February 8 in L.A. Click for a complete list of the nominations: Lil Wayne got 8; Coldplay has 7; Jay-Z, Kanye West and Ne-Yo each scored six. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Dark Knight fans have casting picks for director Christopher Nolan: Johnny Depp as the Riddler and Angelina Jolie as Harley Quinn. [PR Newswire]
• Did Kathie Lee Gifford steal the idea for her "Everyone Has A Story" segment on the Today show from a musician who pitched the concept last year? [TMZ]
• Did you know that when Haley Joel Osment was busted for DUI at age 18, he vowed to stop drinking until he turned 21? He only has about four months to go. [Daily Express]
• Mark Ruffalo's brother was shot in the back of the head at his Beverly Hills home in an "execution-style" attack, but is clinging to life. [NY Post]
• Will Paris Hilton land the role of Tinker Bell in the Disney live-action movie??? [Page Six]
• Anne Heche is expecting her first child with boyfriend James Tupper. She just got over a custody battle with ex Coley Laffoon, over their 6-year-old son, Homer. [E!]
• Mark your calendars: March 12 will be the last episode of ER, ever. [LA Times]
• Hilary Swank will star in Resident, a thriller in which a doctor moves into a Brooklyn loft and becomes suspicious that her landlord is a stalker. [Variety]
• Magical Elves, the producers formerly behind Project Runway have moved on: The next project? A reality show about The Hills PR queen Kelly Cutrone, which would "showcase the nitty-gritty side of fashion publicity." Honestly? That woman is a character. This could be a hit. [Page Six]
• Simon Cowell was spotted hanging out with an ex-girlfriend, Jackie St. Claire. That's a name right out of a trashy novel, no? [Perez Hilton]
• Former Destiny's Child singer Kelly Rowland is big in Europe, according to an email that seems to have been sent out by someone trying to promote Kelly Rowland. [MollyGood]
• Katie "Jordan" Price says Dwight Yorke, the football player who fathered her son, Harvey, hasn't seen his kid in a year. Harvey is is partially blind and has a growth disorder; Jordan says: "I know Dwight's got another child now and he's focused on that one… I couldn't give a fuck about his girlfriend, or him, but I think he should take care of his son." [Perez Hilton]
• Phil Collins' 19-year-old daughter Lily is stunning! [Daily Mail]
• Jewelry formerly owned and worn by Hollywood screen legend Deborah Kerr: Up for auction! Her three-stone diamond engagement ring is pretty, sigh. [The Star]
• Sadie Frost is wearing underwear and stockings in an exhibition of photos, yawn. [The Sun]
• Tori Amos has a new record deal, with Universal: Her 10th album should be out in late spring 2009. [Yahoo News]
• Tim Robbins has fired CAA. Matthew Broderick and Greg Kinnear may leave CAA next. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Dear Hollywood, Why would you remake Romancing The Stone? Why? [Hollywood Reporter]
• "I think Sienna [Miller] might have been [treated unfairly]… It takes two to tango, man. You can't just point your finger at one person. Historically, women always get the short end of the stick….they're [Rosetta and Sienna] both very special people in my life." — Balthazar Getty. [Perez Hilton]
• "I just finished a couple of episodes, and I'll go back in the new year and do another one of those, and then we'll see what happens." — Jon Hamm, on playing Liz Lemon's love interest on 30 Rock. [AP]
• "I wasn't going to give up who I was before I had the baby. It's important to stay true to that as an example — also for my son to find out what his goals are, what he's passionate about doing, so it's sort of leading by example in that sense. It's a tough thing. I had a moment leaving him today to get ready for tonight of missing him, but every working mom goes through it. They know what it feels like." — Christina Aguilera, on the "balancing act" of parenthood and career. [AP]
• "Initially, I was very worried it would be difficult to concentrate [on the sex]. But Leo was fine with it, which relaxed me. And I never sensed Sam feeling awkward. Quite the opposite. He'd yell from the other room: 'Press your hand into her back more! And when you take her face, really grab it!' Maybe if it had been anyone else but Leo, it would have been weird. But we're not really like grownups. We're like two little boys." — Kate Winslet, on shooting Revolutionary Road, directed by her husband, Sam Mendes, and co-starring Leonardo DiCaprio. [Rush & Molloy]
• "Well, the pictures for W, you know, it's a really strange feeling. It's something Angie and I had to talk a lot about, especially with the birth of Shiloh. You know, these pictures were going to come out — these pictures are — you know, I'm talking about the pictures of the kids. There's a bounty on our heads. And these pictures are going to come out at some point. And they're going to be chasing us, and they're going to — they're going to go to the ends of the earth to get these photos. And we just thought, well, maybe we could — since there's such a bounty, and that bounty is so obnoxious, we could take that money and funnel it to something good. And that's what we decided to do. It's still a bit uncomfortable to do such a thing, but I know it's right in the end. And that was a decision we made. The W photos were just — we just didn't want to leave the house, so we just figured we'd do it ourselves, and had a good time doing it." — Brad Pitt. [CNN]

[Vancouver, November 24. Image via Flynet]

[Venice, California; August 9. Image via INFDaily]

• Angelina Jolie confirms: She is having twins. You knew that, right? Anyway an exclusive interview scored by NBC's Today show was lifted by NBC's Access Hollywood and now NBC producers are pissed at each other. [Page Six]
  
• It was Jack Black who spilled the beans about Angie's twins, actually. [People]
  
• Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo might still be together. Unfortunately, that's not as interesting as if they were broken up. [E!]
  
• Um, more Britney pregnancy rumors. I'm scared. Someone hold me. [Mirror]
  
• Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty kissing. This is one of those pictures where obviously the buss was on the cheek but it kind of looks like they were heading for the lips. In any case, the paper calls them a "gruesome twosome." [Mirror]
  
• To be honest, Pete's got something weird on his lip and face. It is kind of gruesome. [The Sun]
  
• Meanwhile, Blake Incarcerated says Amy Winehouse will die without him, but he doesn't want to go back to her when he gets out of jail because she is doing drugs. [News.com.au]

• Madonna's court adoption ruling has been delayed. The judge needs to review some paperwork. [Reuters]
• Mariah Carey's ex-boyfriend, producer Mark Sudack, whom she was with for almost four years, is "shattered" that MC is suddenly married to someone else. He and Mariah just broke up in the beginning of 2008. [MSNBC]
• Fantasia was a "trainwreck" on American Idol. [Perez Hilton]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs is looking for sponsors for his Cannes yacht party. Any takers? [Mirror]
• Actress Michelle Trachtenberg (Buffy, Gossip Girl) fainted in the middle of a downtown NYC party. But! Homegirl rallied and stayed out the rest of the night. That's how Georgina Sparks would do it! [Page Six]
• Rumor has it Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz will be getting married this weekend in a seven-figure ceremony. Friends and family were notified via Evites, haha. The good news is they were apparently made for each other; a source says: "Ashlee is so needy, she just hangs all over Pete. But he loves it. He's always had a thing for vulnerable girls...They complete each other." [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which young actress may be a little too much like her TV character? At a wrap party for her show, the tween got totaled at the bar and had to crawl into a waiting taxi." [Rush & Molloy]
• Anne Heche's show, Men In Trees, was canceled and now she can't afford to pay child and spousal support. Unemployment sucks. [People]
• Halle Berry has a new diamond ring! On her ring finger. But it's not from her baby daddy. She bought it for herself. So very modern. [People]
• Star Jones is "sexy, single and heating up the Cannes Film Festival." Wait, what? [ET]
• The Season 3 finale of Flavor of Love is the show's finale episode. Ever. It's the end of the series. Well, we'll always have Under One Roof. Ugh. [UPI]
• A contestant on Australia's Next Top Model came close to a nervous breakdown from being bullied by the other girls in the house. [News.au.com]
• Hugh Grant, Liz Hurley and her husband Arun Nayar won £58,000 in damages for invasion of privacy over photographs taken of them on holiday. That's enough cash for another trip! [BBC News]
• Superbad star Jonah Hill in a modern-day 21 Jump Street? Dude is no Johnny Depp. Or Peter DeLuise, for that matter. [Variety]
• A hybrid car was flown from Japan to Paul McCartney in London and critics are saying that any environmental benefits from using the car would be undermined by its mode of delivery. Sigh. [Guardian]
• Sean Penn lit up two cigarettes at the Cannes Film Festival, in violation on French laws against smoking in public buildings. Badass! [USA Today]
• The ladies of Sex And The City are on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, because they have not had enough publicity lately. [Just Jared]
• Oprah's dead dogs, commemorated in sculpture and sitting on her head. [TMZ]
• PETA still hates Mary-Kate Olsen. [Peta2]
• James McAvoy in Mean magazine: Hot. [ONTD]
• "I put on 40 pounds with Moses. And I found it really hard to loose the last 20 pounds. I didn't mind having the big boobs. But it was the stomach roll, the back fat, and the post-pregnant butt. And it was so hard to get rid of." — Gwyneth Paltrow. [People]
• "Samantha, she's Aphrodite. She loves them and leaves them. She has no guilt about her desires. If I'm associated with sexuality until the day I die I'll be happy — because I intend to be sexual until the day I die." — Kim Cattrall on her Sex And The City character. [The Sun]
• "When I see pictures [of myself] I do sometimes think, 'You miserable cow!'" — Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [Mirror]