• Stern wasn't making a flip remark. Sports Illustrator writer Ian Thomsen explains he sent the question to Stern a week ago so he'd have time to think about it. Stern said he really believes it may happen, but "when you look at tennis, and this is the argument against me... As great as the women are, and actually in some cases I think their serves are served at a higher speed than men on the tour, like Serena's (Williams) first serve — you still get the sense that they wouldn't do well on the men's side of the tour... But in basketball, where it's a five-person game and you have zones and you can do a variety of other things — a fast person with a good shot that can play on the team? I think we could see it in the next decade or so ... I'll leave it to the real experts to talk about the muscle factor. But there's going to be a very strong woman who has all the moves, who's going to want to play, and she's going to be good." • If you're sipping from a can of Slim-Fast right now, drop it. Unilever is recalling 10 million cans of ready-to-drink products, regardless of flavor, "best-by" date, or lot code, because they may be contaminated with Bacilus cereus bacteria, which causes diarrhea, nausea, or vomiting. Customers should throw the cans out and contact the company for a refund. • A group of Danish prostitutes say they are offering free sex to delegates at the U.N. Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen to protest city officials asking 160 hotels not to arrange prostitutes for guests during the meeting. Copehnhagen Mayor Ritt Bjerregaard also wrote to the 500 delegates asking them not to take the prostitutes up on their offer. A representative for the women said: "It's completely discriminatory. Ritt Bjerregaard is abusing her position when she uses her power to prevent us from carrying out our legal work." •  A 33-year-old bouncer and ex-con has been charged with raping a woman in a Manhattan nightclub. Hunter Dupree allegedly cornered the victim, who was drunk and vomiting, in a bathroom stall. But Dupree's lawyer claims that she made it all up: "You never know who is going to come and say, 'He attacked me.'" •  Car safety experts from Virginia Tech University are hard at work developing a better seat belt for pregnant woman. They are in the process of creating a highly advanced model of the human body to use in testing. For now, experts advise pregnant women make sure the seat belt rests on the bony parts of the body, and that they sit as far from the steering wheel as possible. •  Sgt. Kimberly Munley became a hero when she helped bring down the shooter at Ford Hood, but Munley says her injuries will shorten her career. Officials say they have not yet begun the process of assessing whether or not her wounds will prevent her from rejoining her beat. •  A team of researchers have confirmed what the scientific community has long suspected: female researchers are greatly underrepresented on research articles. Women account for only 10-15% of authorship of the overall reports studied. One researcher suggests this may be because women have "other obligations that prevent them from dedicating so much to research." • Researchers had mothers complete frustrating tasks with each of their same-sex twins separately and found the moms whose negativity was most strongly linked with their child's challenging behavior had the poorest working memory skills. Having a stronger working memory allows parents to reason quickly, rather than lashing out at their kids. • New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate was sentenced today to three years probation and 250 hours of community service for injuring his companion by dragging her through the lobby of his apartment building. He had been accused of slashing her in the face with broken glass while in his apartment, but the judge said he couldn't prove her face was cut in an intentional attack. A Senate committee is still investigating whether to censure, suspend or expel Monserrate, who said he won't resign. • Former Senator Paula Hawkins, who became the first woman elected to a full Senate term without a family political connection in 1980, died today at 82. The Republican backed legislation that helped housewives find jobs after getting divorced and supported equalizing pension benefits for women by taking the years they spent caring for children into account. She also found to get day care for the children of Senate employees and and forced fellow senators to wear bathing trunks in the Senate gym so she could work out there too. • Jody Trautwein, the Alabama pastor who tries to talk Sacha Baron Cohen's character out of being gay in Bruno is running for mayor of Birmingham against 13 other candidates. An election is being held next week to replace Larry Langford, who was convicted of 60 felony counts in a bribery scheme. • The chestnut tree that was outside Anne Frank's window while she was hiding from the Nazis is dying, but today in Amsterdam, a sapling from the tree was planted in Amsterdamse Bos. Other saplings will be sent to schools around the world named after Frank and 11 locations in the U.S., including the White House and the September 11 memorial in New York. •

•  According to an independent group in Britain, the number of abortions performed on fetuses with Down syndrome has been greatly underrepresented. They claim that doctors, in attempts to protect their patients from further pain, have been classifying abortions performed on fetuses with Down as "social abortions." • Excerpts of Anne Frank's diary were censored out of a school textbook in Lebanon after Hezbollah's Al-Manar television channel ran a report claiming the book promotes Zionism. MP Hussein Hajj Hassan said, "These respected, established schools are teaching the so-called tragedy this girl lived, and yet they are ashamed to teach the tragedy of the Lebanese people, the tragedy of the Palestinian people... the tragedy of the people of the south under the hands of Zionist occupation." • A new study has found that there is a significant gender-based pay gap among US faculty. "Our findings show that women who wish to challenge pay gaps at their own institution need to systematically and quantitatively approach the situation, especially during a time of economic downturn," said the author of the study. •  David Swain has been sentenced to 25 years in prison for the murder of his wife in 1999. Swain was scuba diving in the Caribbean with his wife Shelley Tyre when something went wrong and Tyre was killed. Although local authorities found no evidence of wrongdoing, a British Virgin Islands judge has ruled differently. • Female cancer or multiple sclerosis patients are six times more likely than male patients to be separated or divorced soon after their diagnosis. Researchers said men may leave a sick spouse because they're more hesitant than women to commit to being a caretaker. • Six years ago, Stephen Weston heard about a woman who had been prosecuted for not wearing her seat belt correctly while pregnant. For many women, the cross-body belt is uncomfortable, so Weston decided to solve the problem by developing an alternative belt for expecting mothers. The shoulder harness seat belt will hit the market in 2010. • The New York Times reports on the rising number of female officers in the Iraqi police force. While women were long discouraged from higher positions, many have come to realize that there are certain benefits to having female officers. "Everyone says men are able to do everything, but that's not true," said Lieutenant Farah Hameed. "In investigations, especially with women, women use their compassion with victims to get them to answer questions clearly." •  A recent study shows that yo-yo dieting may be more like drug addiction than previously believed. Researchers put a group of rats on "diet-cycles," and they found that after going without food, the rats suffered anxiety, and the deprivation effected the same stress symptom that kicks in during drug withdrawal. • Women are getting involved in Mexican drug trafficking in greater numbers and many are being jailed or killed. More women are becoming addicts, turning to dealing as a better alternative to prostitution, or being forced to smuggle drugs through military checkpoints by male family members. •  Prosecutors have offered former astronaut Lisa Nowak a plea deal. Nowak is accused of stalking and assaulting Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman, who was dating Nowak's ex-boyfriend. •  Wanna be happy for the rest of your life? Move West, young woman. Apparently, people are happiest in the Mountain states and on the West Coast, due mainly to the high concentration of wealth, education, and tolerance. • While experts believe that postpartum depression is still severely under-reported, there are several new programs that offer support and aid to women suffering from PPD. UNC has a particularly good program, which features a small postpartum inpatient unit. • In the next 10 years women are expected to become the majority of unionized workers, according to a report from the Center for Economic and Policy Research. "When you have a majority of women in the labor movement, issues like work-family balance, paid sick days and paid parental leave become more important," said economist John Schmitt. • "Weight-watchers everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief. Contrary to their image as slim models of restraint, French women, it seems, really do get fat," begins this article, on rising obesity rates in France. It's a good thing Mireille Guilano has a new shtick. • Some are calling for the website celebrityaddressaerial.com to be shut down after it was revealed that the people who allegedly robbed Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Orlando Bloom, used the site to gather information on their targets. The site, which lists the addresses and aerial photos of hundreds of celebrity homes, contains information that could be found on sites like TMZ and Google Maps in a more easily searchable format. • A new fiction genre described as "Beatrix Potter meets the Kray Brothers" or "Pulp Fiction meets Wind in the Willows" involves animals, or even dinosaurs, in gritty detective stories. • In an interview with a British journalist who says she dreamed of being a Playboy Bunny as a child, Hugh Hefner says, "My younger brother and I were raised in a home in Chicago with no real affection; we knew we were loved, but there was no display of affection. I think that my quest for romantic love and the adventure of romantic love was filling the space that was left because I didn't get the affection when I was young." • In this security video a woman on a Boston subway platform who appears drunk falls onto the tracks. People wave at an oncoming train to stop, the driver breaks, and the car comes to a stop inches away from killing her. •

• Kevin Miller, 41, has been charged with several misdemeanor counts of public indecency and menacing for his recent Borat-esque behavior. Miller dressed up in a women's swim suit and went around harassing people. "He said he just wanted to harass people to get a response because, to him, it was the thing to do," said Sugarcreek Police Sgt. Mark White. • Morning sickness drug metoclopramide has been deemed safe for mothers, according to a new study. Metoclopramide may become the first drug in the US cleared specifically for morning sickness. • The Anne Frank House museum in Amsterdam has announced that Anne's diaries and writings will be permanently displayed in the museum starting June 12, 2009, the 80th anniversary of her birthday. • 47-year-old grandmother Julie Harter is the only female alligator trapper licensed in the state of Florida. Harter has been trapping gators since 2003, when her husband Billy, who taught her how to trap, died in a helicopter accident and Harter took over his license. • High school student Jessica Terry had been sick for eight years with vomiting and diarrhea, but doctors could not seem to figure out what was wrong with her. One day, during her AP science class, Terry solved the mystery herself: she diagnosed herself with Crohn's disease after examining a slide of her intestinal tissue. • The Times reports that the number of female truck drivers working in the UK is steadily growing. Naturally, the writer gives lorry driving a shot. • The Pregnant Women Support Act, which aims to reduce abortions by offering more assistance to women who feel they cannot afford a child, may be gaining congressional support. However, President Obama has not yet commented on the Act, and some criticize it for discouraging women to examine all their options, including abortion. • Valencia McMurray, a recent high school graduate and homeless teen, speaks to Minnesota Public Radio about her struggle to stay in school while surviving on the streets. • Seattle police are looking for a group of kids who knocked a transgender woman down, tried to steal her backpack, and use a homophobic slur. If caught, they could be prosecuted for hate crime. • This just in from the Journalism Junior High School Cafeteria: the Huffington Post is apparently mad at the Washington City Paper for making fun of them. • Researchers have found that some adults have calorie-burning "brown fat," previously only found in babies. • Sad: a man is suing Match.com, claiming the site post profiles of canceled subscribers as though they still subscribe. His suit says, "Match's policy causes severe emotional distress and anxiety for some [subscribers], including those who keep writing e-mails to one member after another and never hear back because he/she is writing to people who've canceled." • 120 young ballet dancers began competing today in a prestigious international competition in Moscow. • Get back on the couch: frequent vigorous exercise increases the risk of a heart problem called atrial fibrillation. • The recession is forcing two big strip club chains to scale back their expansion plans. • Nahide Opuz won a landmark case in the European Court of Human Rights after the Turkish government merely fined her husband for running over two women with his car and stabbing Opuz seven times. Now that he has served out his sentence for murdering her mother, Opuz is in hiding. • Awesome feminist band Le Tigre has not yet officially broken up, although by the sounds of it, they aren't planning on releasing another record anytime soon. However, Le Tigre fans will be able to hear more Le Tigre on Christina Aguilera's new album, to be released later this fall. •

• It seems that safe sex is recession-proof! Condom sales have been increasing as the economy worsens and people look for cheaper ways to entertain themselves. • High school students in Illinois published a "Hooking Up" edition of their award-winning school paper. Administrators claim that they did not have to confiscate any copies of the paper, since they were so quickly snatched up by students and teachers. • Meet Chloe, the only cat who loves to shower. The aquatic Persian will jump in the shower at any chance she gets. • Photographer Jenny Wicks is fighting gingerism with her art. She has snapped pictures of people from all over Britain in efforts to capture the unique beauty of redheads... and she's succeeded. • After publicly claiming that their entire engagement was only a "stunt," Drew Peterson's ex-fiance, Christina Raines, has moved back in with him. • It looks like even "Bridezillas" are scaling back: sales of wedding gowns in the U.S. are expected to decrease 2.8%. • Good news for all the real-life Jims and Pams out there: a new survey shows that 31% of office romances lead to marriage. • Research from Indiana University shows that single ladies are better at expressing their emotions in text messages than men. Women are more likely to use emoticons and write longer messages. • Cordula Volkening, a 52-year-old woman from Brooklyn, was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer a year ago. After learning that she had only a few years more, Volkening decided to bravely start a new career as a painter. • Just in time for Valentine's Day, researchers have found that material gifts may lead to more happiness than "experience"-based gifts, especially when the experience goes badly. Apparently, it is easier to forget a crappy gift than a terrible dinner or a poorly chosen vacation. • Yesterday, a woman believed to be 115 years old passed away in Chicago. Virginia Coll was not previously recognized as one of the 88 people living aged over 110 and above. • While head lice have a long history of nesting in human hair, scientists believe that crabs are a slightly more recent phenomenon. David Reed theorizes that crabs originated in the pubic hair of gorillas, and only later spread to humans. • A Saudi judge has sentenced the victim of gang-rape to 100 lashes and a year in jail for adultery. Authorities accuse the woman of attempting to get an abortion after she found herself pregnant as a result of the attack. • Through studying prairie voles, a rare monogamous rodent, scientists hope to discover the biological source of love. • Men from Sydney will be among the first in the world to try a twice-monthly male contraceptive injection. • In order to keep up with changing technology, the Queen's website has received a facelift. • Cotton candy could soon be more than just a fairground staple: scientists may have found a way to use the fluffy treat to regrow human tissue. • A special court ruled today that there is no link between autism and vaccination, despite what many parents may think. While this may be a good thing for some, it is an all-around bad week for parents of autistic children: a bill was defeated yesterday that would require mandatory insurance coverage for children with autism. • A pregnant Brazilian woman was attacked last Monday evening in Zurich by a group of skinheads. They allegedly carved the initials of Switzerland's right-wing party into her stomach after hearing her speaking Portuguese. The attack caused her to miscarry twins. •

• A new study claims that eating extra amounts of choline, a chemical found in eggs, while pregnant can lead to an increased risk of developing breast cancer in offspring. • Nielsen Online says that the number of employees visiting porn sites while working has increased 23% over the past year. • A new study reports that young gymnasts are suffering new types of injuries to their hands, wrists and arms .• Women who have undergone breast augmentation and are being treated for early-stage breast cancer may have more treatment success with brachytherapy, a partial-breast radiation treatment.• Inducing labor before the 40 week gestational age has become more common in the U.S. • The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is taking the estate of Beverly Rogers to court over the estate's planned auctioning of Mary Pickford's 1930 Oscar for best actress. • Honor killings have increased by 70% in the southern Iraqi city of Basra where women can be murdered for "honor killings" by hired hitmen for as little as $100. • Amnesty International is asking the Haitian government to do more to stop the widespread rape of girls in the country's slums.• A BBC reporter's 12-year-old daughter gets the Somali pirates on the Sirius Star to talk. • Canadian researchers say that gay men who feel undesirable are more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior and develop psychological problems. • A recent survey claims that British men and women beat out the people of Italy, Germany, France and the US as the most sexually liberal. • We may have just missed the beginning of Advent, but surely this condom Advent Calendar will keep us up-to-date. • An Italian book that reveals unpublished excerpts of Amanda Knox's diary says that sex was a "predominant aspect of her life" and influenced her relationships with men and women. • A new study claims that individuals who wash their hands before making judgments tend to make less strict rulings. • More and more men are beginning to take primary care of their elderly and ill parents. • Meanwhile, the Gender-Based Violence Forum estimates that 60% of Sri Lankan women have experienced domestic violence.• An art critic for the BBC's Antiques Roadshow received criticism when he referred to a woman in a portrait as having "Shropshire ankle" (or fat ankles). • Are you ready for a relationship boot camp? • A Texan man claims that God told him to ram into a woman's vehicle on a highway while going 100 mph on Friday because she "wasn't driving right" and needed to be "taken off the road." The two only suffered minor injuries. •

My first reaction was, Sarah Palin is dangerous and horrible and I don't want to think of her as normal and quirky! But then Liz quoted Anne Frank (“In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart") and I had to grudgingly admit that even when you disagree with someone very deeply, it's good for the soul to try to think of their positive qualities. In that spirit, I'd like to steal an idea from the Village Voice's Michael Musto, and ask you to come up with something nice to say about the dear Governor from Alaska.

We'll start you off with a few compliments from the Jezebel staff and assorted friends to pave the way. Exclamation marks all around for extra positivity!

• She's pretty! And tall!
• Some people seem to like her!
• She seems to have a nice marriage!
• Her kids are cute! Particularly Trig and Piper!
• She is ambitious!
• She reminds me of Tina Fey!
• It is a rare politician that could parlay the mayorship of a town of 5,000 people in rural Alaska to a political appointment in a prominently Republican state, catapult him- or herself to the governor's seat and, before serving half his or her term in that position, find him- or herself the party's nominee for the Vice Presidency of the United States. That Sarah Palin has done so in less than 12 years is a fine testament to skills as a politician!
• She is good at juggling many responsibilities!
• She is gainfully employed!
• She has nice teeth! [Is someone aping Duncan Hunter? -Ed.]

Ok guys, now put on your nice girl panties and give it a whirl. We will return to your regularly scheduled bitchery soon enough.

Let's Say Something Nice About Sarah Palin [The Village Voice]
Related: Little-Noticed College Student to Star Politician [NY Times]

Pretty In Pink [Radar]

That was around the time I started begging my parents for a tree, and the answer was always no. "It's a Christan symbol," they'd tell me. When I was younger, my retort was always, "But...it's pretty!" That didn't really get me far. As I got older I probably responded with, "No, It's a Pagan symbol," but that didn't really work out either."This is a Christian country," my mom would say, "and regardless of its Pagan origins, a tree is for Christians. Case closed."

That twinkling inner desire for a tree never really dissipated, and this year I had an excuse to get one. I moved in with my Episcopalian boyfriend in March, and when December rolled around, I started lobbying for a tree. Dear Mom: Maybe if you had let me have a tree when I was a kid, I wouldn't be forced to date goys all the time. Just sayin'!

The WASPy bf sort of lumped my tree desires in with my other fake whims, like when I ask for a baby panda or say "Why don't we just move to Miami?" When he realized I was actually serious, he wasn't really on the tree train either. "It's messy," he argued. "Our apartment is small." I countered with "But we could keep in the backyard!" And he begrudgingly agreed. One day after work he brought a small fir in through our side door, and I squealed with glee. I didn't even mind that he made me keep it outside like an incontinent old dog. I thought that my childhood holiday dreams had finally come true, but in reality, only kind of.

Last week I went to buy some cheap lights and tinsel across the street. As I approached the checkout counter laden with garish candy cane festooned crap, I started feeling funny. It was just... wrong. Indescribably wrong! Like drawing a fake mustache on Anne Frank. Like taking a dump on the The Wailing Wall. I was somehow turning my back on thousands of years of heritage for some $1.99 ornaments.

I bought the supplies anyway, and walking home I realized that even though the tree has become a Christian symbol, it doesn't have to be one for me. Cheesy as it sounds, having a tree in my own home can just be an expression of warmth and joy. It isn't about wanting to be Christian, it's about wanting to take pleasure in rituals that I've always admired. That's me in the picture after I decorated the gimpy, listing tree with my boyfriend and some other people. I look sort of stoned, and one of my friends was all, "You're just high on Christmas!" I hope you all get high on Christmas, too. Happy Holidays!

Kyle - Just A Jew on Christmas (South Park) [Youtube]

Views about menstruation have long been mixed. Some cultures have banished menstruating women to huts or required special baths after periods. Others believed that menstruating women had special powers.

In her diary kept while in hiding from the Nazis, Anne Frank mused about menstruation. "I have the feeling that in spite of all the pain, unpleasantness and nastiness I have a sweet secret," she wrote.

Next up: A report on yeast infections in Darfur!

Pill That Eliminates The Period Gets Mixed Reviews [NYT]

Why do we have a soft spot for Jenna Bush? Maybe because we, too, can't help that we have a Republican for a father and a serious drinking problem. Maybe because she looks sort of Julia Stiles-y in this picture but not in that way that you sort of wonder what the fuck happened to Julia Stiles as a kid to make her scowl that way all the time. Anyway, Jenna doesn't need the $300,000 she's getting from HarperCollins to publish her book on a orpahaned HIV-positive teenage mother in Panama, but let's not bury the lead here — Jenna Fucking Bush is still alive? Jenna Fucking Bush has not been hospitalized for methadone abuse yet? Jenna Bush is writing a book? What happened to Jenna getting arrested? Jenna not showing up for work? Jenna getting her plumber ass beat by Robin Givhan? Jenna wandering from Zanzibar to Barclay's Square like she's in a some hermetically sealed Jenna-bubble? Oh wait, here it comes:

She says she "very, very modestly" hopes her book will have some of the influence of two books about girls caught up in the Holocaust: Lois Lowry's novel Number the Stars and Anne Frank's The Diary of Anne Frank.

Oh, poor baby, see: comparing oneself to Lois Lowry and Anne Frank, even if liberal USA Today is baiting you, isn't quiiiite modesty.

Jenna Bush Embarks On Book "Journey" [USA Today]

Bush Name Not Quite As Lucrative As Foer
[Radar]

Why do we have a soft spot for Jenna Bush? Maybe because we, too, can't help that we have a Republican for a father and a serious drinking problem. Maybe because she looks sort of Julia Stiles-y in this picture but not in that way that you sort of wonder what the fuck happened to Julia Stiles as a kid to make her scowl that way all the time. Anyway, Jenna doesn't need the $300,000 she's getting from HarperCollins to publish her book on a orpahaned HIV-positive teenage mother in Panama, but let's not bury the lead here — Jenna Fucking Bush is still alive? Jenna Fucking Bush has not been hospitalized for methadone abuse yet? Jenna Bush is writing a book? What happened to Jenna getting arrested? Jenna not showing up for work? Jenna getting her plumber ass beat by Robin Givhan? Jenna wandering from Zanzibar to Barclay's Square like she's in a some hermetically sealed Jenna-bubble? Oh wait, here it comes:

She says she "very, very modestly" hopes her book will have some of the influence of two books about girls caught up in the Holocaust: Lois Lowry's novel Number the Stars and Anne Frank's The Diary of Anne Frank.

Oh, poor baby, see: comparing oneself to Lois Lowry and Anne Frank, even if liberal USA Today is baiting you, isn't quiiiite modesty.

Jenna Bush Embarks On Book "Journey" [USA Today]

Bush Name Not Quite As Lucrative As Foer
[Radar]