[London, September 20. Image via WENN.]

[London, September 17. Image via WENN.]

• Lily Allen was performing in Helsinki, Finland when she burst into tears. Before the show, she Tweeted:

"Fell over badly last night and I've really fucked my back up. Just had an injection in my bum. How am I gonna get through tonight's gig?" Throwing out your back is terrible! So is Lily's hair/makeup in these pix. [Daily Mail]

• Bill Maher said he once saw Brad Pitt roll the most perfect joint he had ever seen. "I'm an artist," Brad agreed. [NY Daily News]
• Brad Pitt is being added to Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes as the detective's arch enemy. The character of Moriarty was missing from a rough cut of the film, and movie execs insisted the famous nemesis be added to the flick. Ritchie called old pal Pitt (who was in Snatch) and he'll film this week in London. [Mirror]
• The Dancing With The Stars season 9 cast: Revealed! Macy Gray, Melissa Joan Hart, Kathy Ireland, Mya, Iron Chef host Mark Dacascos, Ashley Hamilton, former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin, Donny Osmond, Tom DeLay (?!?!?!), Olympic swimming gold medalist Natalie Coughlin, model Joanna Krupa, Debi Mazar, Kelly Osbourne, Aaron Carter, Chuck Liddell, and snowboarder Louie Vito. [ABC News]
• Jennifer Aniston complimented a woman pole-dancing on the set of The Bounty, saying she looked like a professional. The lady replied, "I am!" [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney plans to sue a photographer who climbed over the wall of his Lake Como home and took pictures of a 13-year-old girl changing in a guest room, as well as snaps of Clooney and gf Elisabetta Canalis. Cloons says: "I don't know about the law in the United States, but in Italy it's illegal for photographers to climb over my wall. He'll also press charges against two magazines who published the photos. [Gatecrasher]
• Beyoncé: Secretly taking ballet classes at Alvin Ailey School of Dance. [Gatecrasher]
• Jon Gosselin went to a party thrown by a student at Parsons School Of Design. He only stayed for 20 minutes, but arrived with a paparazzo and left with two female students. Keepin' it classy. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Even though Paula Abdul won't be on Dancing With The Stars, she MIGHT get a ABC show of her own. Paula's Wacky Clappy Variety Show? [TMZ]
• Madonna performed in Warsaw on Saturday even though it was a holy date, the Assumption of Mary feast. National group Pro Polonia called her a "crypto-Satanist," which is not very crypto. [Daily Express]
• Bob Dylan was on tour and took a walk in Long Branch, NJ, when he was stopped by cops; a resident had reported someone "wandering" around the neighborhood. A cop asked him for I.D. "I don't think she was familiar with his entire body of work," says a town official. [NY Daily News]
• Jennifer Lopez is looking pretty hot on the cover of InStyle and inside she's saying stuff like: "There's nothing as huge as giving birth to another human being and having to be responsible for another life. There's you before kids, and there's you after kids – and they're not the same you." [People]
• Mark Wahlberg was rushed to the hospital on Friday morning after suffering smoke inhalation on the set of The Frighter. A smoke machine was being used for atmosphere and Wahlberg breathed in too much. [RadarOnline, Daily Express]
• Amy Winehouse's divorce from Blake Fielder-Civil will be finalized at the end of the month, but Blake allegedly told a reporter: "I want to take her out for dinner and propose again. I hope that within five minutes we'll be planning where we're next going to get married." [Daily Mail]
• Blake also says: "She is looking beautiful and healthy now and it reminds me of the old Amy." [News Of The World]
• Amy will appear on Strictly Come Dancing in September as a backup singer for her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield, and there's a cute picture of them hugging at the link. [Mirror]
• Bodysnarky opening sentence of the day: "She's looking thinner than ever, but there's one part of Victoria Beckham that looks set to put on a lot of weight very quickly - her wallet. Posh Spice has landed a £3million contract on American Idol…" [Daily Mail]
• Joe Simpson is pushing Jessica Simpson as the perfect replacement for Paula Abdul on American Idol. [Page Six]
• Saturday night after a Fall Out Boy show, Ashlee Simpson and husband Pete Wentz were at a bar when Ashlee got wasted, yelled at Pete and made him leave his own party early. Charming! [Perez]
• Jane Fonda, 71, might marry 67-year-old Richard Perry next year, which would be her fourth wedding. [Daily Express]
• So many contradictory stories about MJ. We first heard that he was strong during rehearsals. This report claims: "Michael Jackson was so weak in his final days he needed to be SPOON-FED meals, his make-up artist has revealed." [The Sun]
• "Michael Jackson's body has been moved in secret to a new crypt, where it's been frozen." [Daily Express]
• This report claims that Michael Jackson will be buried on what would have been his 51st birthday, August 29. Or so says Joe Jackson. [Gatecrasher]
• You know how Michael Phelps was in a car accident last week? Turns out he was driving with an expired license and told cops he had a beer about an hour before the crash. [TMZ]
• George Michael on his car smashup: "Neither of us was charged because we were both stone cold sober. We both think the other is to blame so this is just an insurance fight." [E!]
• Eva Longoria is expanding her restaurant business, and soon she'll have a Beso Vegas and "Besitos" in ariports. [People]
• Kristin Bauer, who plays Pam on True Blood, thinks Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer will have kids together since Anna is "great" with Stephen's kids from previous relationships. [E!]
• Tons of Gossip Girl spoilers at the link, and yes, there are details on Chuck and Blair — with a HOT picture of the Bass. [People]
• Matthew Settle — Gossip Girl's Rufus — skateboards through New York during rush hour. [NY Times]
• Actress Aishwarya Rai has a chest infection with flu-like symptoms. [Times Of India]
• Anna Friel will play Holly Golightly in an upcoming stage production of Breakfast At Tiffany's in London. [Times Of London]
• The Office's Amy Ryan — who plays Holly Flax — is pregnant. [E!]
• An excerpt of Alana Stewart's book, My Journey With Farrah: A Story Of Life, Love And Friendship, at the link. [Daily Mail]
• Bananarama's back. [Daily Mail]
• Aberdeen, Washington has the title of one hometown hero Kurt Cobain's songs, "Come As You Are," posted at the entrance of town. An unofficial park has been established next to the bridge under which Cobain hung out and wrote songs. [LA Times]
• Blind item! "Which D-list relationship recently ended when the gal found out her man's secret vice was boy-on-boy action?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I can't tell you how far from a gold-digger I am. I've never dated a rich man in my life. I've always wondered how girl friends of mine could even ask their boyfriends to buy them clothes." — Samantha Burke, who was impregnated by Jude Law. [Daily Mail]
• "I thought it was an incredibly sexual role and a challenge to be an 'older woman' in the film. Roles always challenge me in some personal way and that was one I wanted to overcome: 'Wow, all of a sudden, you've become the "Older Woman" in a movie. Let's give the younger ones a run for their money.'" — Anne Heche on playing opposite Ashton Kutcher in Spread. [LA Times]
• "This season, I really want to get back to the guerilla style I used to have. I want to try to get back to my roots and make it crazy. In the first episode, I get buried alive in a coffin, six feet under 5,000 pounds of snow. I want people to realize I'm not complacent because I have a little bit of success and a little money. Hopefully in return I can raise the level of the art form to the level other art forms receive, like the cinema.… I just really loved the ability as a kid to do something that adults didn't understand. It was like power. Then I realized as a teenager that there was more to the art of magic than how you did it. It's trying to connect to somebody." — Criss Angel, whose Mindfreak is back on A&E for its 5th season. [LA Times]
• "I like everything about filming except the acting. In recent years I've had really bad attacks where I totally froze up. I thought 'Well, if I am going to get stage fright, then I am packing it in.'" — Hugh Grant. [Daily Mail]
• "I think anybody that's touring is going to have a carbon footprint. I think it's probably unfair to single out rock 'n' roll. There's many other things that are in the same category but as it happens we have a program to offset whatever carbon footprint we have." — The Edge, annoyed by critics of U2's travel. [Daily Express]
• "The Harry Potter books are not explicitly religious in the way that C.S. Lewis's Narnia tales are, but there is a strong sense of evil, and issues of good and evil are not only philosophical issues but also theological issues." —University of Massachusetts-Amherst philosophy professor Gareth B. Matthews. [UPI]
• "I think when I started I was working in the vein of The Dirty Dozen or The Devil's Brigade. But now watching the completed film with audiences, I don't think there has ever been a World War II movie like it. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your taste, but it's definitely a thing." — Quentin Tarantino on Inglourious Basterds. [WSJ]
• "Don Cheadle could play me, but I hope they just go with the obvious casting choice." — Richard Belzer, when asked who would play Richard Belzer if his crime novel about a a New York City police detective named Richard Belzer were made into a TV show. [Publishers Weekly]
• "I've had my heart broken before. Truly, truly broken. But when I look back at me in my heartbroken phase, it's pretty hilarious, because it felt so much more extreme than it really was. One of the things I love about (500) Days of Summer is that it doesn't make light of what we go through in romances, but it is honest about it and shows it for what it is, which is often profoundly funny." — Joseph Gordon-Levitt. [Guardian]
• "The speed of news creates so much vertigo. I am a very private person." — Penelope Cruz. [Telegraph]
• "We kind of rolled our eyes at the idea of having to make out." — Amanda Seyfried on her Jennifer's Body girl-on-girl scene with Megan Fox. [Page Six via Entertainment Weekly]
• "I remember really vividly kneeling by my bed as a nine-year-old, saying my prayers and asking God to give me boobs that were so big that if I laid on my back I wouldn't be able to see my feet. Eventually that request was granted. A bit of divine intervention displays the power of prayer. Every time before I go on stage, or go out where I know there will be a lot of press, I take a skipping rope and spend about ten minutes, fully clothed, skipping. I look like Rocky. This way I can ensure that everything is firmly in place and I won't have a wardrobe malfunction. Don't want those boulders doing a show of their own." — Katy Perry. [The Sun]

• According to a search warrant, Dr. Conrad Murray is officially the target of a manslaughter investigation into the death of Michael Jackson. But more importantly, Michael's hair is being made into diamonds.

• Police issued a search warrant for a storage locker in Houston that Dr. Conrad Murray had his employees visit on the morning of Michael's death. According to the warrant, police are looking for, "items constituting evidence of the offense of manslaughter that tend to show that Dr. Conrad Murray committed the said criminal offense." [TMZ]
• Here are some more shady details about Dr. Conrad Murray: Police say he wasn't in the room when Michael Jackson's heart stopped. Murray says he found Michael in distress about a half an hour before he called 911 at 12:21 p.m., but that doesn't explain why he made his employees take a suspicious trip to his storage locker three hours earlier. [TMZ]
• When the feds raided Dr. Conrad Murray's Houston office earlier this week they too two Yahoo emails from Stacey Howe, correspondence addressed to Howe, and asked the office manager if she knew Howe. [TMZ]
• OMG: LifeGem is planning to make a lock of Michael Jackson's hair that fell off his head in the 1984 Pepsi commercial accident into diamonds. Producer Ralph Cohen found the lock of hair in his jacket after he threw it on MJ's head to put out the fire. "The provenance and authenticity of this lock of hair is impeccable, including the highly publicized video showing the original owner of the hair using his Armani jacket to extinguish Jackson's hair," said hair collector John Reznikoff, who sold some of the hair sample to LifeGem. The company is examining the hair to see how many laboratory diamonds they can get out of it. [UPI]
• Jon Gosselin and Kate Major are still at Michael Lohan's house. "They are still shacked up together because they don't want to be hounded by the media," said a source. Is it too much to hope that they'll stay in hiding forever? [Radar Online]
• Apparently not. Kate Major said today, "As a journalist, I get it... I realize being in the public eye often means facing criticism and being a target of hurtful lies. It simply comes with the territory." But she added, "I just want people to know that I am a nice and genuine person and anyone who knows me knows that." [E!]
• Kate Gosselin was photographed today without her wedding ring even though when she was asked last month why she still had it on she explained: "It would devastate my kids. It's not necessary. I was looking at it while I was in the shower this morning, and I thought, I'm not taking it off. I'm not ready." What could Jon have done to change her mind? [People]
• Ugh. People is polling it's readers on who's best for Jon Gosselin: Kate Gosselin, Kate Major or Hailey Glassman. So far Kate Gosselin in is winning, but we just want all of them to take a chastity vow. [People]
• According to multiple sources Adrian Grenier's junk is smelly and he has a hairy butt. [L.A. Rag Mag]
• Katrina Bowden of 30 Rock has made a bold admission: she doesn't find Robert Pattinson that attractive. "I think he's a good looking guy, but I'm not that into him," she said, "He's not really my type... He looks like he has a scowl on his face, which some people find very sexy. I like somebody who's more funny and jokey – a little less serious looking." [People]
• 45,000 stop signs in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin were vandalized to read "Stop Voldemort." Initially the police though Voldemort was a new tagger until an officer's seven-year-old son explained it. [The Guardian]
• Rihanna is back in the studio recording a new album, which a source says "will be the album to really give her an identity musically." It's goign to be more techo-based than her previous work. [People]
• Major League Soccer fined David Beckham $1,000 for threatening to fight L.A. Galaxy fans who booed him in his own stadium. [TMZ]
• Simon Cowell offered Anna Friel a record deal after he noticed her on a British soap opera in the 1990s. She explained, "Simon offered me a record deal twice, I was about 19. I wouldn't be here now if I'd said yes." [The Daily Express]
• In May after the Lost series finale, props and costumes from the show will be auctioned, including Kate's toy plane, Hurley's winning lottery ticket, and Locke's hunting knife. [UPI]
• E. Lynn Harris, a pioneer of gay black fiction died last night at the age of 54. He became ill at the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills, but the cause of death is still unclear. [USA Today]
• Last night Kristen Cavallari told Chelsea Handler that Lauren Conrad is "a bit more reserved," while she's "more energetic." Chelsea replied: "Are you suggesting you have a personality?" Video here: [Entertainment Weekly]
• Isabelle Fuhrman, the 12-year-old girl who stars in Orphan is actually pretty adorable in real life. She said, "Usually I can't even see PG-13 movies unless my mom sees them before me. The only reason I was allowed to see [the R-rated Orphan] is that when we were on set in Montreal my mom said, 'I'll let you see the scenes you're in.' And then a producer tapped her on the shoulder and said, 'Uh, that's every single scene!'" But she still hasn't see the whole thing. She added, "My sister sat next to me in the theater and covered my eyes during scenes of Vera [Farmiga] and Peter [Sarsgaard] um, you know." She explains how they Photoshopped her to make her look scarier on the movie poster here: [W]
• Kim Zolciak of The Real Housewives of Atlanta says she's returning for another season because, "I figured in the second season you couldn't make me look any worse, so I might as well do it." She adds that her newfound fame on a cable reality show enables her to identify with Michael Jackson and Britney Spears. "I feel bad for Britney Spears," she says. "I look at her and I'm like they just tear up one side and down the other! Then the next month, she's doing so great. She's lost weight. She's a great mom all of a sudden. I kind of sympathize with her because I take a lot of that heat myself."
  [People]
• Eminem is a huge fan of The Wire , so he asked Dominic West to voice a British doctor on the first track of his new CD. West says Eminem was "very sweet" adding, "I'm the first thing you hear on his new album. Track No 1 is called Doctor West which is pretty cool, don't you think? He's a fan of The Wire - he's watched The Wire four times all the way through, he doesn't get out much, he's obsessed with The Wire. [Mirror]
• In this clip Megan Fox explains the plot of Jennifer's Body: The boys in Adam Brody's band, "sacrifice [Jennifer] thinking she's a virgin but she's not. She's not even a backdoor virgin." So the sacrifice backfires and she needs to feed on human flesh so she starts eating the boys in her high school. Diablo Cody says she wrote the script because "a lot of adolescent girls are ravenous. You feed on your friends and you feed on boys sexually and it's a time when emotions are heightened and you feel a little insane and... specifically with women you haven't seen this in a horror movie." [TMZ]

• Though Kate Gosselin filed for divorce from Jon on Monday, the filing does not contain custody information at this time. Will Kate ask for primary custody? How much time will Jon get? [Star Magazine]

• By the by, those Crooked Houses Jon & Kate's 8 play in? $7,000 a piece. [ABC News]
• Kate Gosselin is on People magazine, with the cover line: "It feels like I failed." [People]
• New Jon & Kate episodes will include Jon's new girlfriend, 23-year-old Deanna Hummel. [Gatecrasher]
• "Reports this week claim Aniston has been sent text messages by Angelina Jolie demanding she 'back off'." Heh. Hahhaha. Ha. [Daily Mail]
• Is Britney Spears going to be in a Nazi movie? Brain… cannot… compute. [National Ledger]
• Rihanna didn't take the stand in Chris Brown's court case, so now Cover Girl has resumed its ad campaign featuring the singer. It's okay to think she's pretty again! [TMZ]
• Perez Hilton has released a new statement in which he says: "Words can hurt." And: "I wish none of it had happened. I can't take it back." And: "Who I am as a person and what I do for a living are two separate things." And: "Several television and radio shows over the past couple of days echoed the sentiment 'He had it coming'. Would they have said the same thing if I was a woman? Would I have 'deserved it' if I had been stabbed? Or shot? Or killed?" [Perez]
• Anne Hathaway loans her friends designer dresses out of her closet. [Gatecrasher]
• If you work for Oprah, you're going on a trip! She is taking 100 employees - and their families - on an all-expenses paid 10-day cruise around the Mediterranean. JEALOUS. [Gatecrasher via Pop Crunch]
• "Madonna is trying to recreate her beloved Wiltshire manor in the middle of Manhattan." [The Sun]
• "Fitness fanatic Madonna has banned smoking roadies from coming within 50ft of her…" [The Sun]
• Video of Zachary Quinto walking his dog with a friend who is dressed as a giant steak. Quinto falls, curses. The walking resumes. Inexplicable. [ONTD]
• LOL: Ellen's variety show will be called Bigger Longer & Wider. It debuts on TBS this Saturday at 9pm, with Kanye West, David Blaine and Nick Cannon among the performers. [USA Today]
• More drama involving Danielle Staub from the Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Smoking Gun has discovered that in 1986, she was charged with eight felonies, including extortion, cocaine possession, and narcotics conspiracy. And you know how Staub told People she was "never a prostitute. Never"? She told a federal agent she worked for an escort service. [MSNBC, The Smoking Gun]
• Great Q&A with Teresa from RHONJ at the link; she's asked if there's a little too much onyx and granite in her house abd says: "No, I don't think you can ever have too much. I coulda had more." [Newsweek]
• And! When asked, "On a scale of 1 to 10 how much does Danielle annoy you?" Teresa answers: "20." [Newsweek]
• The stuff dreams are made of: James Franco reading Proust. [Page Six]
• Were Megan Fox and Josh Brolin involved in a New Orleans fire? [Page Six]
• Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo: Over. But those hot tub pix live forever! [People]
• Liev Schreiber plays a cross-dresser in Ang Lee's film Taking Woodstock and says: "[Ang] really did like my legs. When I went to his office, the first thing he said to me was, 'Wow, you have really nice legs.' I thought, 'This part is mine.'" [NY Mag]
• Pardon my groan: The Jonas Brothers are on the cover of Rolling Stone (again) looking like they bought fake IDs and are headed to the local leather bar to watch some bear on cub wrestling. [JustJared]
• "Martina Navratilova sued for millions by 'wife' after being 'dumped without warning.'" [Daily Mail]
• Katherine Heigl will star in a romance flick called Life As We Know It, which she is producing with her mother. [Variety]
• Daniel Craig will star in Dream House, a psychological thriller about a man who moves his family to a small town only to find it haunted by the former inhabitants who were murdered there. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Craig Robinson, Heather Graham, Johnny Knoxville and Camilla Belle will join Kevin Spacey in the comedy Father Of Invention, which Spacey is producing. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Julianne Hough probably won't be in Footloose, as her acting is abominable. [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge of The Hills is getting her own reality show, creatively titled The Audrina Show. [EW]
• Epic Marilyn Manson interview! He talks about how he felt when he and Evan Rachel Wood broke up: "My walls were covered in scrawlings of the lyrics and cocaine bags nailed to the wall. And I did have an experience where I was struggling to deal with being alone and being forsaken and being betrayed by putting your trust in one person, and making the mistake of that being the wrong person. And that's a mistake that everyone can relate to. I made the mistake of trying to, desperately, grasp on and save that and own it. And every time I called her that day — I called 158 times — I took a razorblade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands." [Spin]
• Marilyn Manson also says of Evan Rachel Wood: "I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer." [Spin]
• John Travolta is in South Africa, as a way to honor his late son who loved safaris. [TMZ]
• Is R. Kelly involved in a scam that robbed the elderly of £1million? [The Sun]
• Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai is involved with some kind of illegal purchase of land, uh-oh. [Times of India]
• Michael Madsen owes Pierce Brosnan and Quentin Tarantino money. Not ten bucks — like $25,000 to Brosnan and $1 million to QT. [TMZ]
• "Rachel Hunter devastated as ice hockey player fiancé calls off wedding SEVEN WEEKS before big day." [Daily Mail]
• Come on baby shake your pigskin: Gloria Estefan and her husband Emilio are buying a share in the NFL's Miami Dolphins. [UPI]
• Joan Rivers is moving to L.A. and selling her Upper East side condo and Connecticut cottage, which is "so filled to the brim with campy knickknackery that it almost looks découpaged" and where Joan keeps a photograph of herself next to the bed. [NY Mag]
• Phil Spector is now in the "sensitive needs" area of California state prison, which is separate from the "gen pop." [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which TV star will absolutely scream when she discovers her husband was chasing girls at an L.A. nightclub over the weekend?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q. Was it fun flipping the table? A: "Fun? It was heat of the moment and it was something that came spontaneously. That was my anger coming out. I just had enough of her. I was just done. I've never done it before. Will I ever do it again? I don't think so because I don't think I'll let someone get to me like she does because in real life I probably would have stopped hanging out with her." — Teresa, of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey. [Newsweek]
• "I'd be a liar if I said it was easy. I think it's very different nowadays for working mothers. Before, a woman could take two years off - a year for her pregnancy and then the first year, but I don't think that's possible for women in showbusiness or in any industry any more. You just have to keep going - keep looking forward. If you stop, you're like, 'Oh God, it's too overwhelming.' And believe me, I've had my fair share of those moments." — Anna Friel. [Telegraph]
• "I really cannot tell you if there will ever be another Batman movie. Chris [Nolan, director] has obviously done an incredible job with it. He's devoted to the movie that he's on right now. I'm none the wiser about we'll ever be revisiting Gotham or not." — Christian Bale. Of another Terminator movie he says: "No conversation has been had about that at all." [Pop Wrap]
• "That song is about when someone said to me, 'Okay, I want to be with you until I die.' And then they gave up. I was at the point in my life where I was like, 'Okay, let's die, but I tell you what, I'm going to kill you first, because I don't trust you.' Honestly. It's hard to look back and see myself as the same person. I'm very objective now. I started to apply this really fantastic rule that they don't teach you in AA or AAA, or any other acronym: Do drugs and drink when you're happy, not when you're sad. It has a great effect. But I can't say that I did that the whole time." — Marilyn Manson, still talking about Evan Rachel Wood. [Spin]
• "She's a lot shorter than I thought she would be, but I was pleased by that. I'm happy there was a flaw. Having said that, I think Angelina is pretty talented. And a remarkable human being, and a great mom. She's definitely not like any other lady I know." — Six foot three Liev Schreiber, on his five foot eight Salt costar Angelina Jolie. [Gatecrasher]
• "I did teach Abby how to say the f-word. I taught her how to drop the f-bomb in every way possible. I said, 'You're a child in an adult's world. I can't be a child for you. When she didn't swear, I said, 'You're starting to offend me Abby. If you don't start swearing every three words then I will fine you.'" — Cameron Diaz, 36 on working with Abigail Breslin, 13 in My Sister's Keeper. [Mirror]
• "I am so often puzzled [by journalists]. Sometimes they go, 'So what's this all about? ... What do you look like when you go home? Do you dress like this all the time?' It's rude! It's not nice… [Lady Gaga] is who I am. Me and my hair bow, we go to bed together. She sleeps where I sleep." — Lady GaGa. [Yahoo News via AP]

[Los Angeles, May 30. Image via Getty.]

• Christian Bale looks dirty and hot on the cover of the new EW! Inside, he talks about that infamous rant that was so popular it got turned into a dance remix:

''I don't care to go into details because, you know what, I don't believe in making excuses,'' he says. ''It doesn't matter. It was unacceptable. I went too far. And I learned from it.'' He continues: "I was surprised at myself hearing it back. These things happen, and you don't realize how long you're going in the heat of the moment. I would just say: inexcusable, my fault, yes, I did it, no excuses." As for apologizing on the radio, he did so because: "I was being told how it had gone like wildfire, and I was worried that it could completely overwhelm the movie itself. There's so much hard work that's gone into this. We had 77 days of smooth running and four minutes of me just going way too far - and that shouldn't characterize the making of the movie. My concern was that people would unfairly judge the movie based on my bad behavior." More at the link! [EW]

• Uh-oh: Gerard Butler has been charged with misdemeanor battery after a "run-in" with a paparazzo on October 7. He's not required to appear in court. [USA Today]
• Natalie Portman is still seeing Sean Penn, and just bought a gothic mansion in L.A. What does it mean? [Page Six]
• The uncle and grandmother of the little girl Madonna was trying to adopt are seeking legal action against the man who claims he is the child's father. [Mirror]
• Terry Gilliam is hoping Heath Ledger will will a second posthumous Oscar for his film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. [NY Mag]
• Christian Bale says his daughter will not be an actress: "Amateur is absolutely fine, but no way professionally. I've seen the way that unfortunately some kids are unhappy in those situations. There's no way I'd put my daughter through that." [Daily Mail]
• Ben Stiller, his wife Christine Taylor and Ricky Gervais toured the White House yesterday. President Obama was in New Mexico. [Reuters]
• Oprah now has 1 million followers on Twitter. Are you one of them? [Business Insider]
• It seems that Britney's dad punched Sam Lutfi in the chest at some point last year, but he was "provoked" and trying to "protect" Brit. [TMZ]
• Of course TMZ has screen shots from the surveillance video of the attempted break-in at Lindsay Lohan's house. If you want to see a Dodge Magnum station wagon and two guys doing something shady, go ahead and click. [TMZ]
• "Lindsay Lohan finally lands another acting gig - but can she behave on set?" [NY Daily News]
• Will Pink and Carey Hart have another wedding, even though they never really got divorced? "I love a party," Pink tells Ellen. [People]
• Magician Criss Angel is an alleged cat thief. [Page Six]
• Kelly Osbourne has written a book! "It's more of a self-help book for young women, the 13 major things that will happen to you before you turn 21 and what I did - most of them not right - and my advice and what I would have done differently." [Mirror]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Ashlee Simpson is pregnant with her second child. [PopCrunch]
• Guess who is getting a role in a West End musical, thanks to Andrew Lloyd Webber? Ms. Susan Boyle. [Telegraph]
• Why did Shanna Moakler resign from the Miss California USA Organization? "The turning point for me, I guess, was when I was watching the Today show and [Carrie Prejean] was sitting there continuing to lie. And it's obvious to everybody that the lying is still going on. I just couldn't stand behind her." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: Coming in 2011? Bridget Jones The Musical. [Daily Mail]
• Jane Krakowski wants Barack Obama to be on 30 Rock: "We've had Steve Martin. We've had Oprah. We've had Jerry Seinfeld. We've had all these great musical greats. Let's just go for the big guns now." [E!]
• Speaking of 30 Rock, Judah Friedlander and Alec Baldwin are both working on interesting side projects. [NY Times]
• Last week's "Motherlover" video Andy Samberg made with Justin Timberlake wasn't finished until 3 a.m. Saturday — hours before it would air. Samberg hopes to make a video with host Will Ferrell this week! [USA Today]
• What's this? More Scrubs? With Zach Braff and Sarah Chalke signing on? [E!]
• Ew: "Desperate Jordan has sent hubby Peter Andre a string of begging text messages pleading: 'If you let me come back I'll be like a wild animal in bed again.'" [The Sun]
• Eighteen years after winning an Oscar in Silence Of The Lambs, Sir Anthony Hopkins will play Hannibal Lecter again. Will Cate Blanchett play the FBI agent? [Daily Express]
• The Jonas Brothers have postponed shows in Mexico because of the swine flu. [Reuters]
• This article has interesting details about Steven Soderbergh's new film, The Girlfriend Experience; some scenes were improvised: "For instance, a scene where Mr. Santos's character interviews for a job at a gym was done in a single take. Mr. Soderbergh says he simply set up two cameras and instructed Mr. Santos and the gym's actual manager to do a mock interview. 'I just said, 'try and get a job from this guy. See if you can convince him to give you a job.' The exchange lasted about eight minutes, and was edited down to a one minute scene in the final version of the film. 'My experience has been, the more takes you do, the worse it gets,' says Mr. Soderbergh." [WSJ]
• California health regulators have fined the hospital where employees snooped in the medical records of Nadya Suleman, to the tune of $250,000. [LA Times]
• Erin Lucas, who is Whitney Port's BFF on The City, is talking shit about Kristin Cavallari, new star of The Hills. Lauren is such a genuine girl. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and she was real with the whole thing. I don't think Kristin is on that level. Wasn't Kristin like all gung-ho about being an actress? I mean, I read interviews last week, for that matter, where she's quoted making fun of the show and trashing it and saying she would never be a part of it. So to go from trashing a show, to go on and replace the girl you fucked over in high school…I don't see it going anywhere pretty." And who are you again? [E!]
• Lyrics from Peaches (not Geldof — electro Peaches!): "I drink a whiskey neat/You lick my crow's feet/Coming up to see me like I was Mae West/less like Tina/but I'm simply the best/Call me Robyn Cradel/baby baby be my guest." In this interview, she says: "I'm going to make aging cool." [NY Daily News]
• Holly Madison will replace Kelly Monaco in the "sultry" Las Vegas revue, Peepshow, which Mel B. also appears in. Although there are topless dancers in the show, neither Mel nor Holly will be barechested. [People]
• "Why George Harrison begged one young fan to stop throwing Jelly Babies at The Beatles." [Daily Mail]
• Farrah Fawcett loves Van Morrison, so the musician filmed his recent shows so he could give copies to Fawcett to watch while she's home in bed, fighting cancer. [E!]
• "Farrah's Story is as much about becoming aware of our own mortality as it is seeing a cultural icon fight the disease." [MSNBC]
• Even though they have been together for nearly 20 years, Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett never got married, but he says he would do it now: "She's still a little bit hesitant. I'm working though, I'm working." [Mirror]
• Ryan O'Neal says of Farrah: "I kind of wish that she would go to sleep, just go to sleep. It's not my right, but I just don't see how she could be happy." [NY Daily News]
• Candy Spelling has known Farrah Fawcett for over 30 years — Aaron Spelling produced Charlie's Angels — and Candy says of Farrah Fawcett's cancer: "When I first heard, I don't know if it was a year or two years ago when we first heard, and I contacted her. I hadn't talked to her in a while. She said, 'I'm going to be alright, Candy. Everything is going to be all right.'" [CNN]
• Anna Friel of Pushing Daisies will play Holly Golightly in a new stage adaptation of Breakfast At Tiffany's in London. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which troubled young starlet was caught doing lines with her new bestie at a hot NYC club?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I probably haven't worn my heart on my sleeve like this since the second Cranberries album." — Dolores O'Riordan. [USA Today]
• "I wasn't intending to do a popular television series. I was intending to do film and theatre. I got waylaid a little. Since that's over, I've got back to doing what I originally intended to do." — Gillian Anderson, whom you may know as Dana Scully, but who is starring in A Doll's House on the stage in London. [Daily Express]
• "I really believe on a daily basis that there's a line of communication between me and my dogs which we haven't defined yet. I really talk to them. And I also talk to my guinea pig, Mr James, every single morning. I sit and watch him on that wheel every day, trying to answer the question that is: 'Do they do it for exercise? Or do they think they're going to reach a destination?' Because that's a terrible metaphor for all of us. Because that's all life is perhaps? Nobody is gonna tell you the truth like I do." — Dustin Hoffman. [Independent]
• "I think Dan Brown is a terribly bad writer, but he has cliffhangers after every chapter which makes you continue reading. It's like eating peanuts at a bar. You don't like them, but you keep on eating them anyway." — Stellan Skarsgard, who only took a park in Angels & Demons because the script was different from the book. [Newser via AP]
• "To me, 10 o'clock is like the new 11:30. I hear more and more people, even young people, say 'I can't stay up past 11. I car pool, I gotta get up at 6.'" — Jay Leno. [CNN]
• "He always had the most ridiculous fashion. When it came to hairstyles he would have blow-dried hair like the Bay City rollers, then an awful perm. When he was 14 he tried to grow a moustache." — Simon Cowell's brother Nicholas. [The Sun]
• "Her boyfriend Tony Romo is one of my favourite quarterbacks. So I felt kinda conflicted doing the Jessica thing. Jessica got fat. I mean, not really fat, but she certainly got fat for, well, Jessica Simpson. I've always wanted people to be able to look at each video and go 'oh remember what was going on at that moment.' You know what I mean? 'Oh, that's when Jessica Simpson got fat, oh OK.' And even if she gets thin again, that's fine. Just for that moment in time, she was fat." — Eminem. [Mirror]
• "People were telling me, 'Christian, you're too good for Terminator.' And I'm thinking, I'm too good? I'm not a snob. I really fucking enjoy watching a good action movie. Who do you think I am?!'' — Christian Bale. [EW]
• "Being a mom makes me feel whole and like I understand the meaning of life." — Rebecca Romijn, to In Style. [People]

• Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams split up last summer, but now they're back on. So on, in fact, that they're engaged.

• Though there were reports that Moore was dating her ex, DJ AM, after he was in a plane crash, they called things off in December. Few people knew Moore had reunited with her other ex, Adams, but now she has been spotted wearing an engagement ring. "She is so excited about their engagement but admits it's been a whirlwind. She's really happy," says a friend. [Just Jared]
• Law enforcement sources say what started the Chris Brown-Rihanna fight was a text message he received from a woman who wanted to hook up with him later. Also, police took pictures at the scene and the source claims Chris Brown hit Rihanna so hard with his fists, she could barely open her eyes for the photos because they were almost completely swollen shut. [TMZ]
• Chris Brown's former step-father, Donnelle Hawkins, who Chris says abused his mother, says he "wouldn't be surprised" to learn that Chris hurt Rihanna. Hawkins also said he "never raised a hand at his mom," and claims Chris doesn't like him because he spanked him once. [Us]
• Chris Brown's sister, Lytrell Bundy (a.k.a. Tootie) says he's never been prone to agression. "He's always been a good boy — never violent," says Tootie. [Extra]
• Terrence Howard doesn't seem all that concerned by the domestic abuse allegations though, saying of the situation, "It's just life man." He adds, "Chris is a great guy. He'll be all right. Rihanna knows he loves her. They'll be alright. Everyone has just got to get out of their way." [ONTD]
• Jessica Simpson addressed the controversy over her weight. "Honestly, I am right where I'm supposed to be. I am so happy. Right now I'm on tour with Rascal Flatts, having a blast," said Jessica. [Extra]
• Harry Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe and Tom Felton went to visit Potter stunt double David Holmes in the hospital. Holmes sustained a spinal cord injury during filming. [The Daily Mail]
• Courtney Love is planning to move to the UK because L.A. is "full of crazy people." She warns, "Madonna had better stay the hell away from London when I move here to live! There's no room for us both." [The Daily Express]
• Anna Friel says there's more pressure on women to be thin in the U.K. than in L.A. Perhaps Courtney should think twice before making the move. [The Sun]
• Eric Dane told Ellen that he and wife Rebecca Gayheart are working on having a baby. He says making the baby is "Hard work, great if you can get it though." [People]
• You can watch the trailer for the new Quentin Tarantino/Brad Pitt movie Inglorious Basterds here. In a departure for Tarantino, this film looks super violent. [Entertainment Weekly]
• A Bahamas judge has refused to lower bail for Tarino Lightbourne, who is accused of attempting to extort more than $25 million from the Travolta family. [E!]
• A senior Thai diplomat has warned Angelina Jolie not to speak out on behalf of Muslim refugees from Myanmar because that's not the purpose of her visit to a refugee camp in Thailand. Jolie said the Thai government should respect the human rights of Myanmar's Rohinyga "boat people," but most of the refugees she met were in the camp for unrelated reasons. [Yahoo]
• Peaches Geldof never told her family that she was divorcing husband Max Drummey - they found out on the Internet like the rest of us. [The Daily Mail]
• Gwyneth Paltrow says she thought walking the red carpet with husband Chris Martin at the Grammys would have been "cheesy," but says she was excited about the Coldplay wins. "I was over the moon because those guys work so hard. They're so, so dedicated, and they bleed, sweat and cry to get it all perfect." [E!]
• Gwyneth said at a star studded cancer benefit, "I'm like a housewife in England. I'm married to a singer." [The Star]
• Kylie Minogue's friend denies that she's moving in with her Spanish supermodel boyfriend. "He's gorgeous, but I don't know if he's the main one. I think she's got a few (men) on the menu." [The Daily Express]
• Tom Cruise is in talks to star in The Matarese Circle, a movie about two enemy spies who, after spending two decades trying to kill one another have to take down a group at the root of a conspiracy. Denzel Washington will play the other spy. [Variety]
• Molly Bee, the country singer best known for the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," has died at the age of 69 from complications following a stroke. [AP]
• Kanye West now regrets that he once said "gays really know how to dress." "Your dress don't give away whether or not you like a man," says Kanye, who explains that he made the comment a long time ago when he was ignorant about homosexuality. "There's a lot of gay people who don't dress good at all. There's a lot of gay people that I dress way better than." [NY Magazine]
• Tobey Maguire says his daughter Ruby is excited about her new sibling, who is due this spring. "She's loving it. She's really into the belly and it growing and her baby dolls. Ruby's not really jealous. She just loves being around people, and this will be like having another little playmate," he says. [E!]
• Kenny Chesney wants you to know that he isn't gay. He says, "Man, I was over 100 [women] several years ago. There were years when I had a better summer than A-Rod, buddy. You know? I got on the boards quite often ... What guy who loves girls wouldn't be angry about [rumors he is gay]? I didn't sign up for that. I think people need to live their lives the way they want to, but I'm pretty confident in the fact that I love girls (laughs). I've got a long line of girls who could testify that I am not gay." [Shakespeare's Sister]
• Someone asked Jon Hamm's girlfriend, actress Jennifer Westfeldt: "What does Jon really smell like? Please say frosting." She replied: "Only frosting, all the time. No, not frosting. He is, in fact, a wonderful cook, but not a baker. I'll make that distinction. He doesn't really bake. In fact, I don't think he's ever baked. We were going to a holiday party and he woke up, he's like, "Let's make cookies to bring. It will be awesome." And I was like, "What a lovely idea." And basically, he wanted to get the ones that you cut up, that are pre-made. I was like, "No. We're making 'em. We're making 'em from scratch." He didn't actually participate in the baking at all. But he's good on a grill. I'll say that." That's a cute story, but the question remains: what does Jon Hamm smell like?! [Entertainment Weekly]

• Are not-so-secret couple Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds on the rocks? Sources say he wants to get hitched (and have kids) and she's not ready. Not ready. For Ryan Reynolds. It just doesn't seem right. [News.com.au]
  
• Naomi Campbell is banned from British Airways! How ever will she travel? Wait! Virgin Atlantic says she is welcome to fly with them. [Mirror]
  
• Brad Pitt tried to get a 95% discount on a place to stay while shooting a film in Texas — not because he's got mouths to feed, but because the film is a small-budget indie. He does have a lot of mouths to feed, though. [MSNBC]
  
• Meanwhile, Saint Angelina is on Capitol Hill with her brother James Haven, lobbying for Global Action for Children. [Politico]
  
• Is Beyoncé pregnant? Some are saying it was a shotgun wedding...just like her sister's? [Rush & Molloy]

• Kylie Minogue says that she was initially misdiagnosed: She had a mammogram and was given the all clear just a couple of weeks before she found a lump that was breast cancer. Scary. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Actress Anna Friel, plays Chuck on Pushing Daisies, says she used to party in Kate Moss's circle. "For the lifestyle Kate's said to lead - and I don't know whether that's true - she looks incredible." [The Star]
• The mayor of Bay City, Michigan wants to give Madonna a key to the city — she grew up in the area. Twenty years ago Madonna was declined a key to the city because she was "too risqué." How times have changed. [Yahoo News]
• Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford (Nate): Now dating new cast member Michelle Trachtenberg? [Page Six]
• Kirtsen Dunst and Ryan Gosling: Went on a date. [Page Six]
• Is Britney Spears going to be the face of a Danish furniture company? Because that makes no sense. [Page Six]
• Although Britney has been more stable as of late, Kevin Federline's lawyer says overnight visits with the kids are still a ways off. [E!]
• Oprah had a parrot in a cage at Maya Angelou's 80th birthday party as an homage to the poem "I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings." WTF. [Page Six]
• Orlando Bloom will star in Disney's Prince of Persia films based on a video game of the same name. The guy just can't stay away from the costume adventure flicks. [Page Six]
• A source says that when Paris Hilton was in South Africa, "Every time [she] saw something she liked, like a woman's dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which married modelizer likes to spread the love when he's away from home? Apparently, he thinks Sydney is far enough away that his famous Mrs. won't find out." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which A-lister toked up with his younger co-star during filming of their megablockbuster? The duo, along with the youngster's dad, smoked pot in the star's trailer, causing the crew to create a code name for when they were stoned." [Rush & Molloy]
• Mischa Barton has plea-bargained her way out of her DUI case — she's a first-time offender. [TMZ]
• Which means: No jail time and a $1,700 fine. [People]
• Samaire Armstrong, who has been in Dirty Sexy Money, The OC and Entourage, says she feels "really good" now that she is out of rehab. [People]
• Julia Roberts has a boozy, difficult sister-in-law who's causing trouble in Julia's marriage. [MSNBC]
• Does Sienna Miller want her skinny man to "tone up"? [Mirror]
• Tiffani Thiessen says she won't be in the 90210 spinoff but she is planning a spinoff if her own — she's trying to get pregnant. [People]
• Different World star Jasmine Guy has filed for divorce. Get it, Whitley! [People]