• Nicole Richie has obtained a restraining order, preventing two celebrity photographers from coming close to her or her kids.

Nicole claims that one of the snappers trespassed at her home and the photographers often stomp their feet on the ground to try to get a reaction from her. [AP]

• In court, Nicole Richie's lawyer called Joel Madden her husband, but he misspoke; the Nicole and Joel are not married. [TMZ]
• SHOCKER: Robert Pattinson will be People's "Sexiest Man Alive." [OMG Blog]
• Whoa: Oprah has to get a pay cut if she wants to keep doing her show? How will she be able to afford her favorite things?!?! [NY Post]
• Avast me hearties! Johnny Depp has agreed to a $35 million pay deal to be in the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film, which makes him the highest-earning actor in Hollywood. That's a lot of dubloons, savvy? [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson was asked if Alex Rodriguez actually has a painting of himself as a centaur in his house. She dodged the question, sorta, saying "That is the craziest thing anyone has ever asked me." Video at the link. [MTV News]
• Great Scot! Behold: Gerard Butler in a kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch" suspect Alexis Neiers pled not guilty to breaking into Orlando Bloom's house yesterday. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron got one of the "Burglar Bunch" bounced from a club Saturday night. [Page Six]
• In case you missed it, Sarah Palin called Levi Johnston an aspiring porn star on Oprah. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Oh, and Sarah Palin won't go on Letterman, because: "I don't think that I'd want to boost his ratings." [NY Post]
• Levi Johnston's Playgirl shoot did not include full frontal nudity. [People]
• Anthony Michael Hall's ex-girlfriend has a restraining order against him after he allegedly stalked her and attacked her in her apartment. Farmer Ted's spokesman says: "All of the allegations are erroneous and will be addressed accordingly." [Page Six]
• The Los Angeles City Council would like to get back $3.2 million the city spent on Michael Jackson's memorial service. A spokesman says: "During these tough economic times right now, that's big money. We're laying off, people are getting furloughed...It's still money that we put out for a memorial service for Michael Jackson." [E!]
• Meanwhile, Joe Jackson is claiming that Michael Jackson's name was forged on his will and is trying to get the executors of the will fired. [TMZ]
• Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, Edis Kayalar, has turned himself in at a police station in Stuttgart, Germany. [AP]
• The Today show cancelled Al Roker's interview with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, so, naturally, Spencer Tweeted some rude things about Al. For example: "WEATHERMAN I thought you were out of town today getting your stomache[sic] stapled again?" And: "you look very sick? Do you always look like your[sic] about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap- No one would even know?" [Us Magazine]
• A judge in Massachusetts has thrown out a lawsuit accusing Elisabeth Hasselbeck of plagiarism in her book about celiac disease. [AP]
• A paparazzo kept on calling Becki Newton "Kelly Ripa." So Becki rolled with it and did her best Kelly impression. [Page Six]
• Congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) thinks Carrie Prejean should have a career in politics. [TMZ]
• No one recognizes Robin Wright Penn with her dark hair. [Gatecrasher]
• Wait: Robin Wright Penn is now Robin Wright. And she was overheard at the screening of her film The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee saying: "This is all about new beginnings for me." [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga's tour without Kanye is already a success, as tickets are selling out super quick. [Gatecrasher]
• Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris will star in TMI, a flick about too much honesty in a relationship. [Variety]
• Anna Faris has also been cast in a romcom called Wedding Bannned, in which she'll play Robin Williams' daughter. The story? "A long-divorced couple kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan is the top fashion party attendee in New York. [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley threw a birthday party for the guy who wrote New York Minute, aka one of the worst movies I have ever seen. [Page Six]
• Twilight fans in LA are already camped out to see New Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Hey, look, a Britloid published a lie and apologized again! This time they printed erroneous info about Sharon Osbourne. [Daily Express]
• Mary J. Blige says her song for Precious is fairly personal: "I went into the studio and cried hard, reaching back." [Variety]
• Heather Locklear = "drama" and "diva antics" on the set of Melrose Place. There was a button missing on her jacket and she allegedly said: "You've got to be (bleeping) kidding me, right? What kind of operation is this?" Then she stormed off. Allegedly. [MSNBC via the National Enquirer]
• In the piece at the link, Heather Locklear talks about Melrose Place, saying: "I saw the pilot and I wasn't sure, still. But then I saw the second episode and I thought, 'This is really fun, the clothes are great and now they're starting to get into some story lines.' And I went, 'I'm in. If I'm not the one who killed Sydney, I'm in." [LA Times]
• Congrats to Adriana Lima and hubs Marko Jaric, who welcomed a baby girl, Valentina Lima Jaric, in NYC on Sunday. [NY Daily News]
• Tila Tequila has filed a lawsuit against her ex, football player Shawne Merriman. She's using pictures of her bruises as evidence. [TMZ]
• Wow, the CW might bring back Mischa Barton's show The Beautiful Life, even though it was cancelled after two episodes. Tough times? [NY Daily News]
• Tom Waits' daughter painted Hilary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi lying down and embracing each other in their undies?!?! [Page Six]
• RIP Ken Ober, host of MTV's Remote Control. [NY Times]
• "[We're] becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits." — Clint Eastwood, to GQ. [NY Daily News]
• "It is all on Steve. Steve Martin has done this before, while for me it is the first time. All the pressure is on Steve Martin." — Alec Baldwin is not worried about hosting the Oscars. [People]
• "Everyone seems to enjoy it. But I don't think it's that funny." — Kathie Lee Gifford on Kristen Wiig's impersonation of her on SNL. [NY Daily News]
• "[I had ] big boobs because I was breast-feeding; I was perfect for it. I wouldn't get cast now." — Nicole Kidman on her role in Nine. [Gatecrasher]
• "The idea that there has been a sullying of my image ... I'm not going to be buried with an Us Weekly. I don't give a (expletive) about it anymore, I can't worry about it and I don't worry about it. And I don't think people want me to worry about it." — John Mayer is all about the music, you guys. [AP]
• "When you say to a girl, 'I play golf,' her eyes glaze over. I do feel guilty about my golf. You know you're a sad case when you spend your spare time reading books on putting or going on YouTube to watch slow motion golf swings. I'll get out of bed in the middle of the night and practice my swing in front of a mirror. I'm obsessed and it's destroying my life. Golf is an addiction." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "You're looking at someone who would get the belt every day. 'Will you shut up, Susan!' - whack! I was often left behind at school because of one thing or another. I was a slow learner… I'm just — I'm a wee bit slower at picking things up than other people. So you get left behind in a system that just wants to rush on, you know? There's nothing worse than another person having power over you by bullying you and you not knowing how to get rid of that thing." — Susan Boyle. [AFP]
• "My whole dating thing, I've been kind of chillin'… I mean, I'm Chris Brown. I'm not saying it like that, but it's just, like, girls are going to be around. I love women. But I would say I've just been chillin'. I haven't really been trying to get into a relationship or trying to date anybody." — Chris Brown. [MSNBC via MTV News]
• "I never planned to write a book. I wasn't planning on a career in writing, I wasn't thinking about stories I wanted to write down. But I had a dream… My husband thought I'd gone crazy. I didn't speak to him for ages because I had all these weird things going on in my head. I wasn't telling him about this vampire obsession because I knew he'd freak out and think I'd lost my mind." — Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. [Daily Express]
• "I finally had a healthy beautiful baby girl and I couldn't look at her. I couldn't hold her and I couldn't sing to her and I couldn't smile at her… All I wanted to do was disappear and die. [I believed] I should not exist. The baby would be better off without me. Life was never going to get better – so I better just go." — Broke Shields discussed her post-partum suicidal thoughts on Monday while receiving an advocacy award from the Hope for Depression Research Foundation in Manhattan. [People]
• "In Vancouver, shooting New Moon, I tried something. They have this thought that no one there wears hoods except for problem people. It's the only city in the world where hoods are not fashionable. It's like if you're wearing a hood you're going to mug people. So it's a boring disguise, but it worked when I wore a hood. And then I'd sort of spit on the ground a little bit and do a little bit of shaking around as you're walking. Everyone moved around to the other side of the street." — Robert Pattinson, on being "in disguise." [Time]

• Heidi Montag's Playboy shoot: Not that X-Rated. Sources say the mag had strict instructions when photographing her:

"No nipples, no vagina, no ass." Guess that's where she keeps her good Christian values? [TMZ]

• Madonna has signed on to appear as a mentor in the new season of UK reality show X Factor. Also guest starring: Robbie Williams, Whitney Houston and Rihanna. [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson is dating Alex Rodriguez and Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly is dating A-Rod rival Derek Jeter. Word is: "Things between the two photogenic actresses are frostier than the new stadium's $9 beer." [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley: Double-dating, chain smoking, tickling. [Page Six]
• Seth MacFarlane says Family Guy's Stewie is gay. "We had an episode that went all the way to the script phase in which Stewie does come out. It had to do with the harassment he took from other kids at school. He ends up going back in time to prevent a passage in Leviticus from being written: 'Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind. It is an abomination.' But we decided it's better to keep it vague, which makes more sense because he's a 1-year-old. Ultimately, Stewie will be gay or a very unhappy repressed heterosexual. It also explains why he's so hellbent on killing [his mother, Lois] and taking over the world: He has a lot of aggression, which comes from confusion and uncertainty about his orientation." [Gatecrasher]
• When Kourtney Kardashian says she is "so shocked" by her pregnancy, you've got to wonder what she means: She knows how to get knocked up, right? Anyways, she says: We were in the Everglades and I kept feeling nauseous and sick. I just kept thinking something wasn't right. I went to the doctor and he confirmed the news. I was just so shocked." Kourtney has not revealed who impregnated her, but in the past she was linked to skateboarder Scott Disick, whose website notes: "As for girls, he was known as being able to manipulate them into anything." [People]
• Anna Faris and Chris Pratt: Married. And it happened it Bali on July 9. As you'll recall, they were seen on what was thought to be a wedding trip in Hawaii in late July, then her rep said it wasn't true that they'd gotten hitched in Hawaii. Which wasn't exactly a lie. [People]
• Kate Gosselin on Jon Gosselin's relationship(s): "It is hurtful. Very hurtful. To be very honest, the most hurtful part is when his decisions directly affect our children. That's the hardest part for me." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's "Will You Be There" will be remade with John Mayer, Lionel Richie, Whitney Houston, Usher, Dionne Warwick, Wyclef and Jermaine Jackson. Larry King's wife Shawn is spearheading the tribute, which will either be awesome or awful. [TMZ]
• …And Shawn King has just pulled out of a duet with Jermaine Jackson she was supposed to do in Vienna. [Page Six]
• Jennie Garth basically confirms that Robert Pattinson is dating Kristen Stewart by saying, "I can't say [which New Moon costar] …but he is dating one of them!" Oh man, it's Buff Werewolf, isn't it? Remember when they held hands? [Gatecrasher]
• "David Beckham disappoints Chelsea and Tottenham by insisting AC Milan is most likely destination for England star." [Daily Mail]
• "Beckhams set to swap LA for Italy?" [Mirror]
• Is Denzel Washington — like so many other Hollywood types — looking to make a living in TV? He's considering an executive producer role on a cop drama called Billy Stiles, written by Virgil Williams, who has penned scripts for 24 and ER. [Reuters]
• Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett: Expecting a boy.
  "Whether this little guy is a jock or not, he's definitely going to be a mama's boy," Kendra says. "And there's no doubt he's gonna be a handsome one … just look at his dad!" [People]
• Rebecca Romijn is giving husband Jerry O'Connell diaper duty while she works on new show Eastwick. This column calls him Mr. Mom, but shouldn't it just be "Dad"? [People]
• Glenn Close used to be in Up With People?!?!? [Page Six]
• Michael Douglas has released a statement regarding his son, Cameron, being busted for meth and thrown in jail for heroin: "The family is devastated and very disappointed in Cameron's recent behavior. Any family who has dealt with substance abuse knows how devastating it can be." [People, NY Daily News]
• "A New York City judge says a jury can decide whether the author of a best-selling book about the death of Playboy playmate Anna Nicole Smith defamed her lawyer by calling him a pimp." [USA Today]
• "Anna Nicole Smith pal Howard K. Stern wins OK to sue writer for libel over gay sex video tale" [NY Daily News]
• Mickey Rourke is not impressed when you "make it rain" in the club. [Page Six]
• "Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt are ready to take on Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell for the title of Longest Dating (and Unmarried) Couple." [Gatecrasher]
• Acting legend Charles Dance, whom you may have seen in Gosford Park, says Paris Hilton's British Best Friend series is "a show for airheads, starring an airhead." Her show is bumping his university drama, Trinity. [The Sun]
• Paul Giamatti will replace Sean Penn as Larry in the Three Stooges movie. Benecio Del Toro will play Moe, and Curly has yet to be cast. [NY Daily News]
• Kim Basinger may play Zac Efron's mom in The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud, a flick about a grieving family. [Variety]
• Bachelorette Jillian Harris stands by Ed Swiderski, but other continue to women talk about how shady he is, blah blah blah. [MSNBC]
• Blind item! "Which scorned reality star is in talks with a major R&B singer to have a faux relationship - just to improve her image?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Today some people in traffic tried to sell me a baby. A live human baby. I didn't know what to say. I said a little prayer for the kid. Wow. It all happend so fast. I was trying to figure out if they were serious, and i think when my reaction was not a good one, they just took off. I mean look. Chances are they were joking. The scary part is i really couldn't tell. Maybe i'm just one gullable fool (sic)." — Joel Madden, via Twitter. [News.com.au]
• "Ran into the people that tried to sell me their baby today on melrose.Told me to tell you all they were joking. I thought 10k was a bit high." — Joel Madden. [Twitter]
• "I learned 30 pages of dialogue in German and English and went to the audition dressed like the character. I killed it. I did everything except sleep with the director to get that part" — Diane Kruger, to Playboy on landing her role in Inglourious Basterds. [Page Six]
• "I got stuck being searched in Toronto, and she waited for me. I totally wasn't expecting to see her when I got through my Toronto search, and she was there, patiently waiting. Some people wouldn't have waited. That's all I'm saying." —Eric Bana on The Time Traveler's Wife costar Rachel McAdams. [USA Today]
• "What was I gonna do? I was worried about you. What if you'd been sent to jail or something and I had to alert the studio?" — Rachel McAdams to Eric Bana. [USA Today]
• "You know, in the old days it was very difficult to make movies 'cause you had to have 35 millimeter cameras, which were phenomenally expensive. Or you had to have rich parents that could send you to film school. Nowadays, anybody, any kid or young person with a desire to make films ... (has) access to this equipment. You have great video cameras and the quality's fantastic. You can make soundtracks and do visual effects. You can do very competent computer effects quite easily. There are no excuses anymore. If people really want to make movies, they can go out and do it. And I think we're going see in the next 20 or 30 years a real influx of creativity to the world of entertainment because I believe a lot in the young generation coming along ... the pop culture generation who now can grab these cameras and go make films with them." — director Peter Jackson. [Reuters]
• "I definitely got doughy. I started eating like crazy and drinking dark beer. Between meals on set, I'd eat a No. 1 Value Meal at McDonald's and then Doritos on top of it. It was absolute heaven." — Matt Damon, on gaining weight for his role in The Informant. [Gatecrasher]

Leslie Mann looks lovely. Yes, the matching shoes are a tad Barbie, but I'm guessing her daughters approve.


Speaking of! Maude and Iris Apatow look like normal kids, always (sadly) refreshing. Also, Maude has the same half-Jew hair I had as a kid! Well, if mine had been groomed and detangled instead of a matted rat's nest.


Gotta say, Seth Rogen's looking sharp - even if he always looks more stoic than happy on the red carpet.


Anna Faris looks like she was caught doing something naughty - instead of just wearing a fairly unremarkable summer weekend outfit. What's she hiding behind her back?


Oh, Rashida Jones, you make it look so easy: love how the horizontals on the skirt are echoed by the sandals and the necklace!


Jonah Hill's pants are really long and he's wearing lace-up espadrilles. He's obviously aware of both these things, so.


Kinda digging on Elizabeth Banks' 80s cocktail - very Bright Lights, Big City. As to the hair, well, those of us susceptible to humidity are not adverse to seeing this become an acceptable look.


I've never seen comedian Aubrey Plaza scrubbed up; she "puts on the dog," as my grandfather would inexplicably have said, like a charm.


Okay, Eric Bana's obviously handsome blah blah blah, but if you're going to wear a natty suit, complete with gentlemanly trappings, you might as well shave.


So on the one hand, I love to see people taking chances and being creative and working without the stifling influence of stylists. On the other, Toni Collette looks daft.

[Images via Getty]

I love the antiqued look of Katherine Heigl's chiffon, and also the 1890s feel of the draped skirt. Indeed, I'd say the gown is classier and more original than anything in the movie!


It's nice of Kate Walsh to represent - both Katherine and, apparently, Talbots! I jest. Actually, she probably pulls off this Preppy Handbook homage as well as anyone could - and looks kind of spiffy!


I love the contrast between Venus Williams' caftan of yesterday and this sleek little peach. I especially like that she's showing off her curves!


Wow, Mimi Michaels is really working the fairy princess thing!


I can barely concentrate on Nina Bergman's getup with this intense sexyface staring at me. And yes, she's doing it in every picture.


Terri Seymour looks crisp, comfy, and natural. And must feel totally self-conscious as a result.


I'll be curious to hear what you think about Jewel's throwback. I can't get away from the thought that I like it...on her.


This makes so much sense! Serena Williams is a bombshell!


As Bonnie Somerville knows, when in doubt, an LBD always works.


She relayed this cunning secret to Anna Faris.


Bree Turner's dress looks like it's covered in broken glass. This looks dangerous. And I can't get past that.


Major props to Jennifer Morrison for shopping her closet, but as this shows, not all shifts are made to be belted! (This is something about which I feel strongly.)


Yvette Nicole Brown looks easy, breezy, lovely, and happy about all that.


Roselyn Sanchez' dress kind of reminds me of when Flora, Fauna and Merriwether try to make Briar Rose a dress without magic. "It looks awful." "That's because it's on you, dear."


Deidre Hall is ready for a cruise! Cue the Love Boat theme. Now. Do it.


Clearly Rachel Harris doesn't care that I want her to start owning her glasses and wearing them on the red carpet. Fine. Whatever. Do what you want. I don't care.


And for your sins....


[Images via Getty]

• As mentioned yesterday, after Perez Hilton insulted Fergie, Perez and Will.I.Am had a confrontation in which Perez said:

"I don't need to respect you, and you're a fag. You're gay, and stop being such a faggot." GLAAD is not happy! A spokesperson for the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation says: "These are vulgar antigay slurs that feed a climate of hatred and intolerance toward our community. For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is 'The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear,' is incredibly dangerous. It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting antigay attitudes." [E!]

• Fergie's husband Josh Duhamel on the Perez kerfluffle: "When you get rich saying hateful things sometimes you ask for it… It's an unfortunate incident and I hope it goes away." [ET Online]
• Tila Tequila has gone off on Perez Hilton. From her Twitter: "you are such a whiney bitch! quit crying ur not a star." And! "I will not be like other celebs who are afraid of him and kiss his ass! i am not afraid of Perez Hilton. He knows he can't fuck with me." Plus: "I find it ironic that Perez talks shit about people all day long. He calls people faggot yet bashes Miss California. Perez Hilton is a bitch." [ONTD]
• Oh snap: Kirstie Alley also went off, making fun of Perez by Tweeting: "Will.I.Am? You am my new hero… smack!!! Wah wah wah… ouch ouch my eye… ouch ouch ouch call 911 boo hoo ouch." [ONTD]
• John Mayer joined the Perez hate on Twitter. [Pop Dirt]
• And Kelly Clarkson says no one will pity Perez and she would give her left arm to look as pretty as Fergie does. [ONTD]
• Polo Molina, the manager of the Black Eyed Peas, is the one who hit Perez and has turned himself in. Perez says to Will.I.Am : "I'd have more respect for you if you hit me yourself - you're a coward. Violence is never the answer. Fuck you, will.i.am, for lying. Shame on you. I did not deserve what happened to me. I have lost all respect for all of you and the Black Eyed Peas. And Fergie, you're fugly." Stay classy. [Gatecrasher]
• "Jail 'Break' For Rihanna Ex: Beater Brown Gets Off Easy With Assault Plea." [NY Post]
• RIP Ed McMahon: 1923-2009. [Post Chronicle]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin announced that they are separating on last night's show. (And court documents show they have filed for divorce.) This columnist speculates that Jon will become a C-list celeb and Kate will be watched closely — people will be expecting her to cross the line or make a misstep with the kids. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "It still remains to be seen how TLC will handle the episodes of Jon & Kate shot before the divorce papers were filed - and now instantly dated. The channel has made a huge 40-episode order for the show's fifth season." [Variety]
• Cameron Diaz got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday, and Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Lucy Liu were there to celebrate with her. [People]
• Scenes from a lunch with Betty White and Cloris Leachman! It's hilarious. Cloris says of the tunic she makes for her clothing line, Clorisline: "It looks so pretty. Just tie it, put on some jewelry, go out to dinner and get drunk." Betty has quips too — just read it. [USA Today]
• Amy Winehouse wishes to become a permanent resident of St, Lucia! The weed must be really, really good. [Gatecrasher]
• Readers of Heat magazine in the UK have voted Robert Pattinson as the sexiest man on the planet. Blinded by the sparkles! [Mirror]
• BREAKING: Miley Cyrus makes money. [TMZ]
• David Beckham won "substantial" libel damages over a newspaper's claim that he "made a play" for a model. The story was printed on the front page of The Daily Star in April, and Beckham's lawyer called the allegation "serious and defamatory" and "untrue." The newspaper has retracted. [Mirror]
• OMG: A movie with Cher and Christina Aguilera? So much hair! So little wardrobe! So much attitude! [Variety]
• Even though there were reports that Anna Faris and Chris Pratt had wed in Hawaii, Anna's rep says: "it's not true." [Daily Express]
• A dude who played a gangster in Slumdog Millionaire has been accused of threatening the owner of a production company — demanding roles in films! [Times Of India]
• Lauryn Hill canceled all of her European tour dates; Wyclef Jean will stand in for her at the Montreux Jazz Festival. [Reuters]
• One of the co-executive producers of Heroes has abruptly left the show. [NY Mag]
• One of Candy Spelling's former employees claims Candy fired her for complaining about being overworked and underpaid. [TMZ]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has gotten a crude X tattooed over the tattoo of her estranged husband's name on her wrist. It looks bad. (But the pix of her gallivanting on a powerboat near Ibiza look awesome.) [Daily Mail]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has ever-so-eloquently Tweeted: "pete being a true cunt to me ! he left me nt me leave him." [The Sun, Twitter]
• The Spice Girls made a ton of cash last year, from touring. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which hot young bachelor has (quite disappointingly) revealed himself to be a totally awful kisser?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I was broke at the time and this was my chance to make a few bucks, so I jumped at the opportunity to record for my first time in a professional studio. The work I did back then in no way reflects the music I am currently in the studio working on. I'm thrilled to be working with some of today's hottest songwriters and producers and can't wait for people to hear what my music really sounds like." — Adam Lambert is not a fan of his song, "Want," recorded before American Idol. [NY Daily News]
• "I think crime here is shocking and knife crime is shocking and everyone must do what they can to be safe." — Kevin Spacey finds London a wee dangerous. [Telegraph]
• "I recently gave a self-esteem workshop for Girl Scouts in Nashville, and I told the girls that I wasn't a role model for my weight, because I change. Sometimes I'm thicker when I'm around my family and I'm eating more. Sometimes I'm thinner because I'm on the road and that takes a lot out of me. But I do feel it's important to talk to girls about weight. They see these images, and there's no way they'll ever live up to them. I want them to see someone who is real and know they don't have to live up to anything." — Kelly Clarkson. [Reader's Digest]
• "I have a very serious regime of starvation and stress. I have gotten meaner as I have gotten thinner. I'm like the lost Olsen triplet." — Kathy Griffin. [WWD]
• "Everybody is unique. They're both very beautiful and they're both kind of sexy gals. Maybe Megan will start doing the things that Angie is so well known for. [Angie] is obviously known for her helping with kids and concern for others. I think that would be wonderful for all of the kids [if Megan were to do the same]. Megan can do a lot of good, so that would be great." — Jon Voight, on the similarities between his daughter Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. And yes, he said his daughter was sexy. [Life &Style]

• According to this report, Jennifer Aniston is "struggling" to stay away from John Mayer:

Last week she sent him a "hand-delivered, perfumed note" before one of his concerts, and it read, "Play well, you always do." Then she moped around her mansion and sobbed giant old lonely spinster tears. [Daily Express]

• Rihanna is reportedly not nervous about testifying in court today. [E!, NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown will be working with Keri Hilson. [E!]
• Chris Brown will listen to Rihanna give a detailed description of how he struck her in the car today. And: Um, his next song may be called "Smash." [TMZ]
• Madonna's new daughter Mercy was flown to London of the weekend. [People, NY Daily News]
• "Eliza Manyoza, a banana vendor in Malawi's colonial-era capital Zomba, says she has never heard a Madonna song. She only knows the American pop icon as an "adopter" of orphaned children. 'I am told she is a nice woman who wants to help our children.'" [Breitbart]
• Anna Faris married Chris Pratt in Hawaii on Saturday. In the photograph, Pratt is wearing, tight, star-spangled flag-inspired swim trunks. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan has a new tattoo that the paparazzi can't read, even though they zoomed in on her arm as she arrived at Samantha Ronson's house in L.A. But actually, the big mystery in these photographs? LL's choice of hideous shoes. [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan's new show with Ryan Seacrest is all about giving people on the wrong track a second chance. [TMZ, NY Daily News]
• "Jon on Father's Day: 'I Don't Know' Where Kate Is." [People]
• Is Jon Gosselin moving to NYC? [NY Daily News]
• Was Perez Hilton assaulted by Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas? And if so, why did Perez use Twitter as a means of alerting the cops? Wouldn't a phone be quicker? [Digital Spy, TechCrunch]
• Will.I.Am has a video response, in which he says Perez was rude to Fergie and called Will a "faggot," and then fans went crazy. [Dipdive]
• A play-by-play of Evan Rachel Wood at a trapeze lesson. [The New Yorker]
• One of the cops who is under investigation for breaking into the home of the woman acting as a surrogate for Sarah Jessica Parker originally said he was trying to sell stuff to the National Enquirer, but now he says: "I'm not exactly sure. If the National Enquirer didn't have anything to do with this, then I publicly apologize." [TMZ]
• By the by, Sarah Jessica Parker has a new car but doesn't know how to turn the lights on. [Page Six]
• If Victoria Beckham had her breast implants reduced or removed so that she could be in Vogue, it's just another testament to the power of Anna Wintour. [Daily Mail]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Back on? [Daily Mail]
• Is Prince William shopping for a "Malibu honeymoon pad"? [Daily Express]
• When Prince William and Kate Middleton booked a vacation house, they used the names Mr. and Mrs. Smith. [Telegraph]
• Prince Harry's been hanging out with ex Chelsy Davy. [The Sun]
• Kanye and Amber are still "very happy and affectionate." [The Sun]
• According to this report, Foxy Brown was "pampered" during her stay at Rikers Island — she got meals in her cell, makeup and unlimited TV and phone use. [NY Post]
• Joel Madden says Nicole Richie's second pregnancy is "a lot easier" than the first: "You've already been through it and it's not as intense and dramatic. We're a little more relaxed. It's actually kind of nice." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne is working on a book called Fierce: "It's about all the major things girls go through before they turn 21," she explains. "It's 16 chapters where I explain what I did and where I went wrong, and then I offer professional advice on how to do things differently." Noted. [WWD]
• Here's a Father's Day column penned by Nicole Kidman, who says: "My father, Anthony, is a very good and decent man. He's Catholic, and he has a strong set of values based on religion, but which really come down to being a good person, being tolerant of other people, and doing unto others what you would wish them to do to you." [Daily Mail]
• Rachel Bilson is so close to Hayden Christensen's family, his grandmother calls her "my future granddaughter." [Page Six]
• Dennis Quaid and his wife have agreed to a $500,000 settlement with the hospital that nearly killed his newborn twins by overdosing them with blood thinner. [USA Today]
• Cloris Leachman filmed a guest spot for Jada Pinkett Smith's new show, Hawthorne: "I was a patient. I threw a bedpan at her. It was a very emotional part. I used the bedpan to show my feelings. I made use of it. I didn't USE it. Haha." [NY Mag]
• In this column for the Daily Fail, Simon Cowell writes about Britian's Got Talent: "I didn't get into show business to make little children cry or upset a nice lady like Susan Boyle… But the question remains: should we have done things differently?" [Daily Mail]
• From an interview with Emily Blunt: "When I mention [former love Michael] Bublé's name, I am treated to a stare that is so glacial it could freeze an ant at 500 paces. Is she seeing anyone at the moment? 'Weirdly enough, I'm going to pass on that. You know, apparently I'm seeing everyone. I think someone said I was dating Anne Hathaway in a story recently.'" [Guardian]
• In this article, Betty White and The Proposal director Anne Fletcher have tea and it turns into a "gigglefest." [NY Times]
• David Duchovny and Téa Leoni: Still in love. [People]
• Oh, crap: Peaches Geldof has been studying Scientology for nine months. [Mirror]
• "It's not really an internship. I'm just there for two weeks to see how it works," she said. "I'm listening to the editors, seeing what the fashion department does, what marketing does, what the photo department does. It's all over the place. "Everything is interesting… I really like the fashion department." — Tallulah Willis on her stint at Harper's Bazaar. [NY Mag]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want Washington, D.C. to pay attention to their campaign to fight childhood obesity, especially among Latino kids. [US News & World Report]
• Kathy Hilton says she's not sad that her daughter Paris and Doug Reinhardt broke up: "Doug was riding Paris' coattails." [E!]
• Cristiano Ronaldo says of hanging out with Paris Hilton: "She was a really cool girl and we had a great time talking. I am a young man and Paris a young lady, and us talking in a club is just what normal people our age do." [The Sun]
• Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves: Expecting baby number two. [People]
• Twilight's Ashley Greene says she is not dating Adrian Grenier — they were just attending the same surfing event. Ashley says: "It's kind of annoying sometimes because I have been linked to so many guys, but I have been single forever!" [Us Magazine]
• Behind the scenes of the new Harry Potter movie! [Guardian]
• There are three country stars in bikinis on the cover of Shape and one of them, LeAnn Rimes, talks about being accused of stalking by Ediie Cibrian's wife: ""I feel like people are looking and pointing at me…" [People]
• Congrats to Rachel Griffiths, who recently gave birth to a baby girl, her third child. [People]
• Duran Duran: Working with Mark Ronson. [The Star]
• Mark Ronson and Perez Hilton have had a falling out, and Perez admits he is "petty." [Daily Express]
• Looking for a cute anecdote about Robert Redford and Paul Newman? Click the link. [Daily Express]
• "It is exactly the same - it doesn't make a difference whether it is a woman or a man. It is about a passionate relationship, it is good, intense and quite an unusual story." — Eva Greene, on playing a boarding school teacher who seduces one of her female students in upcoming film Cracks. [Mirror]
• "People think cameras follow you 24/7. It's really not like that. We have set hours, set days, just like any scripted show." — Denise Richards, on It's Complicated. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Q: Are there any women you would get it on with? "Agyness Deyn. She's a little punk-rock Lolita. Beautiful face, beautiful shoulders. I look at her and think, 'Ooh, I'm so turned on. What's happening?'" — Katy Perry. [Times Of London]
• "I would argue that as culturally diverse as L.A. is, and it's one of the most diverse places on the planet, it is shockingly segregated. And that's why I love New York so much and, on one level, San Francisco. You step out your door and you're swept up in a sea of humanity whether you want to be or not. You can stay in your car in L.A. and avoid anyone you want to." — Benjamin Bratt. [LA Times]
• "There are enough reality-TV stars out there who clearly want attention and fame. I personally don't think they know what they're getting into, but it's a very human instinct. I never wanted to be famous. I just wanted to act. So it's very odd. Here I am doing something that's a real actor thing to do and I'm being treated like a celebrity. I was going to take this year off from being a celebrity!" — Anne Hathaway, who is doing Shakespeare in the Park. [NY Mag]
• "She is there every waking moment of my life. It's always something. Things happen to me every single day. I will be in a tiny café and suddenly a version of "Over The Rainbow" will start to play." —Lorna Luft, on her mother, Judy Garland. [Daily Express]
• "Don't get me wrong — I am thankful for a round of antibiotics or surgery when necessary but I have been helped tremendously by the practices [of acupuncture and cupping] that help the body heal itself. When implemented by a professional with experience, the benefits can work wonders." — Gwyneth Paltrow's been flinging GOOP. [Daily Express]
• "Children have always responded to me because I have that cartoon-character look. I'm over-exaggerated and my voice is small and my name is Dolly and I'm kind of like a Mother Goose character. So I think that it's going to be a fun thing." — Dolly Parton, on her children's book, I Am A Rainbow. [Time]

[Wailea, Hawaii, June 19. Image via Getty.]

The Good: Sienna Miller's tunic, while somewhat reminiscent of the Kate Moss for Top Shop collection (which is v good), is cute and fun in that MTV Awards-apropos way.


The Good: Again, how fun is Monique Coleman's futuristic majorette?


The Good: Briana Evigan's neutral jersey may be one of the most sedate numbers on the red carpet, but it's also one of the prettiest.


The Good: LeAnn Rimes' wicked queen getup? Rock on.


The Good: Aw, is Anna Faris' adorable puffball a tribute to Lacroix?


The Good: Okay here's another one that you couldn't get away with on a network red carpet: digging Lil Mama's Lisa Frank palette!


The Good: Imagine if we weren't sick to death of horizontals and geometrics and stripery of any kind due to all the bandages? How fresh and darling would CariDee English's one-shoulder look?


The Good: Is Taraji P. Henson's the most ridiculous concoction on a ridiculous red carpet? Mais oui! Just when we thought we couldn't love her more!


The Good: Okay, Rumer Willis' stained-glass thingamabob is vaguely horrible, but admit it, it's also vaguely awesome! (Right?)


The Good: I realized over the weekend that the main problem with The City is that "You Belong to the City," the most stirring urban anthem of the 1980s, isn't the theme song.


The Good: How super-duper is Ashley Greene's hair? Girl-group fab, right?


The Bad: Paris Hilton's commitment to living the Barbie lifestyle is really unquestionable.


The Bad: Vanessa Hudgens is gorgeous, and maybe this draped sheet could work if her accessories hadn't been selected by a 5-year-old-hippie.


The Bad: Okay, props to L.C. for taking a chance. But her Degas-Lacroix leaves one scrambling desperately for something nice to say before moving on because you see a Jonas brother over by the bar.


The Bad: You know how they say horizontal lines break up the body in an unflattering fashion? Megan Fox disagrees.


The Bad: Jayde Nicole provides the obligatory showgirl-by-Cache element! (Last year's MTV MA's was my first GBU and I was so scared and humbled by the responsibility! Now it's like, whatevs, bring me a doll and a stalk of rhubarb with maple sugar on it.)


The Bad: Just a guess: Shar Jackson likes chains and buckles.


Leighton Meester continues her foray into the world of un-Waldorfian fashion with an assless exercise in immoderation. What say you?


Okay, KriStew and Twilight are emotionally charged, so let's just step back and find out what say you about this Bella-Swann-ready show of ambivilalence!


Guess Sandy's promoting Domineering-Boss-Who-Strongarms-Assistant-Into-Marrying-Me, and clearly selected an MTV-ready look. What Say You?


Besides those of you who hate minis unilaterally - well, you too, of course - what say you about Kristen Bell's teensy hourglass?


Bruno would do violence if he didn't rep The Ugly.

[Images via Getty]

• Britney Spears is denying that she is pregnant with her third child after Ryan Seacrest announced on his radio show that a "reliable source" told him she was. "She's absolutely not pregnant," said Britney's spokesman.

• He added, "I have no idea where this ridiculous rumour has come from." [Mirror]
• Sam Lutfi has filed an appeal against the permanent restraining order that says he has to stay away from Britney Spears. "Never before in the history of the world has a restraining order been granted as a result of someone answering someone else's cries for help," said his lawyer. "The evidence showed it was Britney Spears reaching out to Mr. Lutfi and all he did was help her get a lawyer." [TMZ]
• Ugh. Britney Spears called the hotel she'll be staying at when her tour hits London to install a stripper pole in her suite. Asource said: 'Britney loves pole dancing, it is her new favourite work out. [The Daily Mail]
• Yesterday Star claimed that Jennifer Aniston is adopting a baby boy and even announced what Jen is planning to name him. The only problem is Us says the story is a total lie. [E!]
• Child and Family Services questioned Nadya Sulemen yesterday after a teacher reported her 4-year-old autistic son showed up to school with a black eye and bite marks. Her lawyer said the two-year-old twins may have caused the bruises, but then added, "Poor Aiden, he falls a lot. He jumps at noises and things and bump furniture and walls." [TMZ]
• Though Madonna won a court to make the U.S. the permanent home of her sons Rocco and David, she has decided to let Guy Ritchie have the boys for the summer while she is on tour. "Guy absolutely dotes on his children and can't wait to have them for a whole three months," says a source. "He is surprised and pleased that Madonna is being so generous - as she has at times been impossible." [The Sun]
• Leona Lewis's horse kicked her in the face, splitting her lip and knocking her to the floor. A source says, "Leona has been riding since she was a child and has never had a fear of horses. So she was really shaken up when the horse turned on her. Something startled the horse and it flicked its head back and smacked Leona full in the face." [Perez Hilton]
• Brady Green has been convicted of stalking Tyra Banks. He could be sentenced for up to 90 days in jail for stalking, harassment, criminal trespass and attempted aggravated harassment. [AP]
• The Albertina Museum in Austria got a call from a woman claiming to be Beyonce's manager, who said she was coming for a visit. The woman who showed up, "Was too thin for Beyoncé," says museum press officer Verena Dahlitz. "I thought she had probably lost weight." but they gave her a tour anyway. It turns out the woman was an impostor sent by a local radio station. [People]
• The marketing manager at the radio station said they hired a German model for the prank, "We'll call the Albertina to say we meant no harm," manager Andrea Hilber said. "It was a great museum tour." [Earth Times]
• Tina Meier was awarded TEEN LINE's 2009 Humanitarian Award for her work to stop cyber bullying following her daughter Megan Meier's suicide. "After I'd go out and speak before [the trial], I would be emotionally drained and cry for two hours, but now I've grown stronger," she says. "The pain of losing Megan will never go away, but it has lessened with the knowledge that I can help another child, another family." [People]
• Julianne Hough won't be returning do Dancing With The Stars for season 9. [People]
• The 67 breakfast trays and 80 gallons of coffee Hugh Jackman ordered for the 800 fans camping out at the Wolverine premiere came to $4308.87. [TMZ]
• Hugh Jackman says that he's more attached to how Wolverine is received because he is a producer. "This is how I saw the Wolverine character and I haven't been quiet or shy about saying I wanted to make this movie, so it becomes more personal. [If it fails] I can't lay the blame on anybody else," he said, adding, "It's true that by X-Men 3 the character was getting a little softer, so here we've made him a little darker, a little edgier and – if you'll forgive the American expression – more badass." [The Telegraph]
• Leighton Meester dyed her hair a slightly lighter shade of brown, which is supposed to mean something about her potential music career. [E!]
• Amanda Setton, who plays Penelope Shafai on Gossip Girl says of her the relationship between her co-stars Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr, "It fell into place quite quickly and we're all super excited for them ... They really balance each other. I'm just happy that they're happy." [People]
• Josh Duhamel will drive the pace car at the Indy 500 in May. [USA Today]
• Lisa Rinna has some good news about the swine flu: she thinks her entire family had it, but they survived. "I believe we all, except for myself, had the swine flu at our house," she said, "How do you know it's the swine flu? I don't know but we had all the symptoms." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Lisa Rinna says she no longer wants to appear on the new Melrose Place. "We had a moment, and it was real fun," Rinna says. "I've moved on. It's all good." [E!]
• At a panel discussion at New York City's Paley Center for Media the cast of Ugly Betty shared some spoilers about the upcoming season, which you can read here: [Entertainment Weekly]
• Jonathan Rhys Myers is denying reports that he cancelled some recent performances because he was in rehab for an alcohol problem. He says he spent time with a counselor, but "I just felt I needed time off and I didn't need to go to awards ceremonies. You can get slightly waylaid as an actor doing that sort of thing and I'm never that comfortable at them anyway." [The Daily Express]
• Kylie Minogue is in the market for a villa in Spain because she wants to be closer to her Spanish model boyfriend Andres Velencoso. "Kylie also wants to learn Spanish and has been following DVDs. But having a house in Spain will make things easier," said a source. [The Star]
• Anna Faris says she's not trying to lose weight for her wedding. "I am fattening it up!" she said. "Now that I have a man, I'm like, 'Oh, I don't have to try anymore! Now I can eat. We love to splurge at home. We love to cook. My fiancé is an incredible eater, and so he's really fun to feed, and it's great to share some wine and watch a movie. He's always like, 'Baby, don't lose that butt!'" [People]
• According to Jamie Kennedy, girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt's family loves him. "I go over to her mom's house to play charades,"said Kennedy, adding, "Jennifer's brother, Todd, gave me his blessing. That's pretty exciting!" [E!]
• Kara DioGuardi is one of People's most beautiful people, but she says she still has insecurities. "When I was trying to be an artist, people would say, 'Maybe you need to lose a little weight; your nose is too big.' When it's time to go on stage, I think, 'Shave [down] your nose!'" [People]
• Justin Long and Drew Barrymore were spotted out together, but they say they were just hanging out as friends. [Perez Hilton]
• Pink made a surprise appearance in Trafalgar Square to film a new T-Mobile ad and had the crowd sing along to songs like "Hey Jude" and "Hit Me Baby one More Time." [The Star]
• People are saying Julia Ormond is experiencing a comeback because she appeared recently in Benjamin Button, Che and Kit Kittridge: An American Girl. She says: "How I see it is that there was a point in time when I felt I needed to step away and then it's three years that I've been working more intensely. I balk at the term comeback. For me, an actor's life is something where you're going to have highs and lows, and you just hope to continue working. I see it as more of a continuation. The way movies work is that you don't have any control over when they are going to come out." [Reuters]

• Gossipeuse Janet Charlton claims Jennifer Hudson is knocked up. JHud is currently on tour; her fiancé, "Punk" from I Love New York, is training to become a professional wrestler. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]

• Amy Winehouse's horribly burned leg is due to a scalding pasta water incident. They tried to make me cook fusilli… [The Sun]
• Rihanna went out clubbing in L.A. and danced and flirted with basketball star Baron Davis. Apparently the DJ said something like Chris Brown should get his ass kicked; the whole crowd cheered — Rihanna included. [Gatecrasher]
• Will Madonna bring Mercy home? Three judges on Malawi's Supreme Court of Appeal will decide on May 4. [The Sun]
• Michelle Rodriguez is a pretty awesome bridesmaid! She broke up a bachelorette party yelling that the stripper was "fat and had a small dick." Then when the dude wanted a lady from the bridal party to kneel for him, Michelle said: "That's bullshit. He should be kneeling for her; this is a bachelorette party." Next? "As the stripper began gyrating and pushing his crotch into the bride-to-be's face, Rodriguez yelled, 'This is the kind of thing that brings out the bisexual in me.' She left in a huff." [Page Six]
• Poor Ann Curry is being sent to both Iraq and Afghanistan war zones. Sarah Haskins was right; the Today show is trying to kill her. [AP]
• Lady GaGa has a new boyfriend and his name is Speedy. Of course. [In Touch]
• Jennifer Garner has been seeing a sex counselor, so she can learn to please her man. A source says: "Ben's great, but he can be very insecure. He likes Jen to play the devoted wife all the time." So Jen sees Dr. Holly Hein for tips of keeping the romance alive and dealing with Ben's "need for attention." "Jennifer doesn't want to lose him. She's in this for the long haul." [Star]
• Here's video of Jen Garner and Matthew McConaughey eating cupcakes while promoting Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past. Warning: It's incredibly dull. [E!]
• The mother and stepmother of Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali had a "catfight" in the street yesterday. In Mumbai, India. And there are pictures in this UK paper. Seriously, what the hell is going on with this poor child? [The Sun]
• Now that singing sensation Susan Boyle is suddenly famous, she has purchased a new fence to surround her house and get some goddamn privacy. [The Sun]
• Susan Boyle's former singing teacher is worried the overnight sensation will damage her voice. [Telegraph]
• Simon Cowell on Susan Boyle: "It had been a long day in Scotland. We'd seen no talent at all. All I knew about her was a name on a sheet of paper. She came out and she looked a bit odd, and the dress looked odd. I gave her five seconds at most. But then she started singing, and within two seconds everything changed." [NY Times]
• Is Paula Abdul going to get up out of her judge's chair and perform on American Idol? She's been dropping hints! [LA Times]
• An "insider" says John "The Player" Mayer has been "recording in a studio and coming on to almost every woman in the vicinity." Plus! He "goes on and on… about how clingy and needy Jen is." Apparently The Player claims Jen Aniston was super emotionally dependent, which is maybe what an immature commitmentphobe might say, so who knows. [MSNBC]
• The US Army is on Twitter — clearly they have nothing better to do — and they want to knock Ashton Kutcher out of the top spot. We're still at war, right? [NY Daily News]
• There is "intense puppy-proofing" going on at the White House, thanks to Bo Obama. [NY Daily News]
• Girls, you know you better watch out: Lauryn Hill will headline the Stockholm Jazz Festival in July. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Debra Messing will be back at NBC with an untitled comedy; the plot? She'll play a laid-off CEO who "is as ill-prepared to be a full-time wife and mother as her husband is to provide for the family." Hilar! [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• A snapshot for the ages: M.I.A., Kanye West, Aziz Ansari and Zoe Kravitz. [The Life Files]
• David Blaine has worked his magic on French model Alizee Guinochet; they're engaged. [Page Six]
• How much would you pay to have lunch with Rosie O'Donnell and Star Jones? Proceeds go to charity… [Page Six]
• Oksana Pochepa, who still claims she is the mystery girl in Mel Gibson's life, keeps a sex diary "with ratings for all her men." This is a combo of slut-shaming and possible lies; kudos to the paper for keeping it classy! [The Sun]
• Perez Hilton went to Criss Angel's show in Las Vegas and Tweeted that it sucked; Criss Angel made and announcement from the stage, saying "We have the world's biggest douchebag asshole in the house!" Now Cirque production company has apologized to Perez but Criss Angel has not. And writing gossip about Perez makes the brain ache. [LVR, LA Times]
• Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg will star in The Fighter, the tale of Boston boxer "Irish" Mickey Ward and his half-brother Dicky Eklund. [Variety]
• Russell Crowe was on Letterman talking about trying to save Steve Irwin's wildlife reserve — and block a mining operation — in Australia. [News.com.au]
• A lawsuit has been filed against Stephenie Meyer by a former friend who claims Meyer stole her vampire idea. But don't worry, Twihards, it won't halt production of New Moon. Sparkly vampires and Native American werewolves for everyone. [MSNBC Scoop]
• We've heard this before, but here it is again: Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford may replace Zac Efron in the Footloose remake. Possibly because he has the same sideswept haircut? [Mirror]
• This report claims Jessica Biel is so good at pole dancing in her new flick Powder Blue, she's a "natural born stripper." [NY Daily News]
• Amber Tamblyn says that since her new show The Unusuals is shot on location in New York, in between shoots, cast members hit local stores and shop: "No one goes back to their trailers." [Yahoo News via AP]
• Uh-oh: The president of Oprah Winfrey's cable network — due to launch next year — resigned yesterday. [LA Times]
• Woody Allen refused to take park in an "I Love New York" ad campaign, maybe because NYC has so many American Apparels? [NY Daily News]
• With lyrics about suffering and chains, the new Depeche Mode album is "like one long infommercial for B&D." But: "all this would seem creepy, instead of sexy, if the music weren't so hot." [NY Daily News]
• The Cure closed the Coachella festival, but organizers had to pull the plug on the band after 2 1/2 hours: "By the third encore, singer-guitarist Robert Smith informed the remaining audience that he was told he could do only one song but played three anyway. The final number, "Boys Don't Cry," turned into a sing-along as the video screen went dark and the sound system began to power down." [Reuters]
• Blind item: "Which rehabbed actor is back on the sauce? He just can't keep his hands off the booze when he's in L.A.!" [Gatecrasher]
• "You get the financing together and I'll work on the script... I would say [Elaine would] just be getting out of prison." — Julia Louis-Dreyfus on doing a Seinfeld movie. [Daily Express]
• "I most admire Matt Damon and Michael J Fox. I just saw Rounders and it just reminds me. Matt Damon is someone who I want to be. I just want to make his smart choices." — Zac Efron. [Mirror]
• "We definitely don't receive a $100,000 to show up at nightclubs anymore. So that's one huge life-changing difference. It makes me miss the old days, back when Paris Hilton and these fools were cashing in like a gold rush every year." — Spencer Pratt, on how the economy is affecting his life. [LAist]
• "Go to an area where the unemployment rate is the best. Go into a field that you love, but at the same time, that has potential. So many people study the wrong things, they go into the wrong fields, and no matter what they do, it's always going to be a battle throughout life. So find a great area, even if it means that you have to move your family. Find a great area, and a business that works." — Donald Trump's advice for those fired or laid-off. [Time] 
 

• "I lead such a boring life, nobody pays attention... and if somebody does take a picture, it's like I'm eating a burrito, in my sweats, and my mouth is open. It's just — I'm kind of a disgusting, boring person so nobody really pays attention!" — Anna Faris. [Mirror]
• "I don't want to get bored, and I don't want the audience to get bored." — Simon Cowell, on whether next season is his last on American Idol. [NY Times]
• "I had to say it as if it was coming to me very easily. I had to research some of [the words] because the acting coach I worked with told me if I really understood what I was talking about, it would come through a little more true." — Lauren Conrad, on her role on Family Guy, which required her to recite "a lot of facts and a lot of big words." [WaPo]

• Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali's father, Rafiq Qureshi, was arrested last night on charges that he tried to sell his daughter for £200,000. [The Sun]

• Rubina Ali's father says he did not try to sell his daughter and claims it was all a trick by the UK paper News of the World. He said the offer was made in English, which he doesn't understand, and that the whole incident is a "lie made up by foreign journalists playing games with me." [BBC, People]
• Lindsay Lohan is in talks to star in the topless Vegas show Peepshow. It is produced by Mel B. and Kelly Monaco, and Holly Madison and Brooke Burke are also said to be up for the role. [Fox News, Las Vegas Review Journal]
• There are rumors that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have broken up. According to a source at Kate Hudson's 30th birthday party he was, "was very much acting like a single guy." [Perez Hilton]
• Rumors that Amy Winehouse wants to adopt a child from the Caribbean are not true. "Amy was talking about adopting in the context of looking after children on the island, perhaps through some kind of music and education-based project," says her rep. [The Daily Express]
• Dawne Wilson, the woman arrested for stalking Tyler Perry allegedly sent him an email last year that said, "You need to check your heart condition because it is filled with murder....your love has been but costly and deadly....Murder I say is the verdict ... Why do you insist on assisting the devil?" [TMZ]
• J.J. Abrams originally offered Matt Damon the role of Captain Kirk in Star Trek but Damon turned down the role. "I actually approached Matt and we had some discussions, but everything happens for a reason. On the one hand, it would have been great to work with Matt - but at the end of the day, it was such a better move to cast the movie with unknowns," said Abrams. [The Daily Express]
• Though she is currently battling cancer, Farrah Fawcett is still planning to throw a big birthday party for her partner, Ryan O'Neal tonight. "There will be cake and champagne," says Fawcett friend Alana Stewart, "Ryan has really been there for Farrah in such a wonderful way." [People]
• Neil Patrick Harris's tuxedo caught fire during rehearsals for the TV Land Awards, which he is hosting. The fire was caused by electronic devices sparking. "He just had some welts on his back," says a source. "He didn't have to be taken to a hospital or anything like that." [E!]
• Michael Caine says his family teased him when he said he wanted to be an actor because they presumed he was gay. "That's what we thought actors were - all poofs (gay). And sometimes we were right," he said. [The Daily Express]
• Anna Faris says of her parents seeing Observe and Report: "They haven't seen the whole movie yet. I'm a little nervous. I told them they needed to drink a bunch of wine - at least three bottles of wine - before they saw the movie, so maybe they would pass out before they got to any of the love-making scenarios." [Mirror]
• The members of Pink Floyd are suing EMI, because they claim the label miscalculated their royalty payments. [RollingStone]
• The first pictures of Russell Crowe in Robin Hood are out and "He doesn't have the old Robin Hood tights," say producer Brian Grazer. "He's got armor. He's very medieval. He looks, if anything, more like he did in Gladiator than anything we're used to seeing with Robin Hood." [Just Jared]
• Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag will get married, legally, on April 25 in Pasadena. [People]
• Brooke Shields says when she was a teenage model, "I didn't want to [look in the mirror]. What if I didn't like what I saw? What if I didn't look like I did in the magazines?" She adds: "I'm proud of my longevity more than anything else. There's a lot to be said for endurance. I'm trying to find the beauty in the whole picture rather than the crow's feet." [People]
• Jared Leto, lead singer of 30 Seconds To Mars, is working with Kanye West on a track for the band's new album. Let says, "We had this song, and I thought it would be interesting to get a different perspective, a different voice on it. There was a serendipitous nature to the way everything unfolded with him and I. We're friends, I think there is a bit of a mutual admiration there for each other's work. I think he's a really kind person, and really creative and a fellow work fiend like myself. So, it made sense." [Rolling Stone]
• Ben Affleck says of his Bennifer days: "The media went crazy, our relationship was selling so many magazines, and we became the first couple to fall for this huge media appetite for taking two celebrities and fusing them together into one horrible, mutated entity with one name! That amount of press attention creates resentment, which was still rumbling when Gigli came out. That said, it was an awful movie. It was like a horse's body with a cow's head." [The Telegraph]
• Colin Farrell said of his six-year-old son James, "I don't know if I would be here if I hadn't had him ... He was a huge part of me going in and making certain changes in my life." Farrell added that he has a "propensity for addiction" and struggled with his identity after coming out of rehab. [OK]
• Rachel Zoe says she wants to change people's opinion of her. "There's really like this big laundry list of misconceptions," she said. "I think, off the top of my head, I would say: one, that I'm anorexic; two, that I starve people; three, that I give drugs to people to make them thin. And I would say that I'm a diva or that I'm this sort of very kind of tough, kind of heartless person ... I'm very vulnerable. I really am. I'm human. I'm super sensitive. I take everything personally." [AOL]
• Lars Ulrich says fans used to ask members of Metallica to have sex with their girlfriends. "In the early days in America back in the mid-'80s, people would often ask us to fuck their girlfriend," Ulrich recalled. "The first time it happened to me, we were opening for Ozzy in 1986 and I was slightly taken aback. But you realise people were serious and you say to yourself, 'So now I'm fucking your girlfriend, are you round the corner, whacking off? Are You taking pictures? Where do you fit into all this?'" [NME]

Former Jezebel editor Jessica Grose writes on Slate that after seeing the movie she found the date rape scene to be:

... just another stomach-turning plot point in a movie consisting of several similarly revolting scenes. If you are to take the film and its characters seriously, which perhaps is beside the point, Rogen's cop not only sexually assaults Faris but basically stalks her, and the movie ends with him publicly slut-shaming her.

As Jessica points out, in an interview with the Onion's A.V. Club director Jody Hill said he thinks the scene would have been even funnier if he left out the line some have construed to mean that Faris's Brandi consents to the sex (even though she's passed out):

AVC: In the Times piece, they describe the scene you're talking about as Seth Rogen's character forcing himself on Anna Faris. Is that how you perceived that scene?

JH: [Pause.] I dunno. I've always kind of liked scenes that you talk about how fucked-up they are. I would have been happy without any dialogue in that scene. I wanted to show them just having sex and her passed out, and I thought that would have been funnier. But I think I have a darker sense of humor than most people. So at the end, [Faris' character] is okay with it. [Laughs.] And that was like, "I'll shoot it both ways." So I actually shot it both ways. I just kept the camera rolling. There's like a line that's "We're okay laughing, and you're pushing the envelope." But you're not really pushing the envelope until you cross that line where a lot of people don't go along with you.

Hill goes on to praise Seth Rogen for standing up to the studio when they wanted to tone down the many disturbing scenes in the film, saying Rogen "really is a fighter for what he believes in." In a separate A.V. Club interview with Anna Faris, it seems that she wasn't as happy with the rape scene as Hill and Rogen, and actually assumed it wouldn't make it to theaters:

AVC: What did you think of the script for Observe And Report when you read it? Did you have a sense of how dark and tonally edgy it would end up being?

AF: Honestly, I didn't have a very good sense at all. [Laughs.] I mean, I read the script and I auditioned for it. I had to fight a little bit for the role, and I wanted to be a part of it so badly. I had seen Jody Hill's Foot Fist Way and loved it. Danny McBride, I loved. The unapologetic nature of Jody's comedy was so appealing to me, and I really wanted be part of it. I'm so grateful I was cast, but when I read the script, I thought, "Well, this is Warner Brothers. This is a studio movie, so this is all gonna be softened up. It's a comedy, right?" So when we were shooting it, even the date-rape scene-or as I refer to it, "The Tender Love-Making Scene"-I just thought, "We'll shoot it, but it's not gonna be in the movie. I don't have to worry about that one." And yet there it is.

Faris adds that she wanted to do the film because Brandi was so awful, since apparently she's having a hard time finding studio films featuring stupid, slutty female characters. She explains:

[Brandi's] really vain, she's really bitchy, and I always imagined she was incredibly stupid, too, but it was just a joy and delight to play her. It's not often you get to be that naughty. It was wonderfully shocking. I read a script where the lead female is so awful, and I was like, "This could not be a studio movie." So it was just a joy.

Blogger Majikthise explains that in the film Brandi's character, not just the one line she mumbles while drunk, are used to justify the rape. She writes:

[Hill] also makes Brandi's character so shallow, manipulative, drug addled, and "slutty" that the target demographic feels she deserves what she gets. Brandi's character is noteworthy because she [has] no redeeming characteristics whatsoever. Even Ronnie has his good points, like his tenderness towards his falling-down drunk mom, and his refusal to steal from his employer, and his heartfelt thirst for justice. I defy anyone who has seen O&R to cite an example of a good, or even neutral, characteristic of Brandi.

So it seems the early reviews were right: The rape isn't so bad when viewed in context, but only because Brandi is treated horribly throughout the film. Hill didn't intend for anyone to mull whether the sex was consensual or not, he just flippantly tossed the date rape in the film in an attempt to get some laughs.

Observe And Revolt [Slate]
Jody Hill Interview [The A.V. Club]
Review: Observe and Report [Majikthise]

Earlier: Is Date Rape Funny? Seth Rogen Explains It All For You
Critics Observe and Report: Seth Rogen's Dark Comedy Is Disturbing

• Chris Brown has reportedly moved on. His new ladyfriend is actually an ex. She attends University of Mary Washington and they met in Virginia, which is where he's from. His reps deny everything. [Gatecrasher]

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie trying to adopt another kid, this time from the Philippines? [Daily Mail]
• Is Pamela Anderson getting ready to wed —- for the fourth time? The dude would be her current boyfriend, Jamie Padgett. [The Sun]
• "Someone in the Kardashian family will soon have plastic surgery," says Kim Kardashian. "I can't tell you who, but someone in my family will look totally different and viewers will see it all on the show very soon." Uh, is it Bruce Jenner? [People]
• Suri Cruise is starting her "five day a week Scientology training," which really just means she'll be attending that school started by Will Smith that uses "study technology." But the school does require a "low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet." Suri is about to turn 3. [Daily Mail]
• Although Lindsay Lohan is "heartbroken," Lindsay and Sam are still talking,says a friend. Also: Lindsay "barely sleeps, which explains a lot of her behavior. She's exhausted. She can't even sit down for a minute without pacing around the room. It's really sad." [People]
• Lindsay was seen carrying something called Neuro Bliss, which is supposed to "relax neural tissues, to enhance brain activity, focus and provide a sense of well-being." [TMZ]
• This report is titled, "Lindsay Parties The Pain Away." [OK!]
• Madonna is still trying to adopt Mercy James, the child in Malawi. Her lawyer has filed an appeal, and she says "I want to provide Mercy with a home, a loving family environment and the best education and healthcare possible." [Reuters]
• Mercy James is "in hiding" so that her biological father doesn't come and take her; apparently he has only materialized since Madonna showed interest in the child. [Daily Mail]
• News you cannot use: Madonna's son David is a fan of Australian football. [News.com.au]
• Is it mean that Joel Madden posted a picture of a young Nicole Richie on his Twitter and wrote, "This is why I love her folks. Is it not Ron Perlman circa Beauty and the Beast??" [People]
• Hermione's coming to the states: Emma Watson will be attending Brown University. [Daily Express]
• Even though Paris Hilton is with Doug Reinhardt now, she totally talks to her ex, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, at least three times a week. They probably just discuss the economy and ? [Daily Mail]
• Brace yourself for a Nadya Suleman reality show, which is super close to happening. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Some lady from a rehab center says she had a "secret fling" with Blake Fielder-Civil and is knocked up with his kid. Is it true? Will Amy Winehouse flip her wig? [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse has been working with the Gorillaz instead of working on her own album. [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse and Duffy are no match for Dusty Springfield, says a friend of Dusty Springfield's. [Telegraph]
• Did Whitney Port leave her job at Diane von Furstenberg, after being beaten out for a promotion by Olivia Palermo? [Page Six]
• Josh Hartnett was seen partying in Miami, so he's clearly recovered from that gastrointestinal problem which sent him to the hospital earlier this month. [UPI]
• Did Jimmy Fallon steal an album cover from the wall of a New York City restaurant and show it off on the Tonight Show? He's claiming it was a prop, but the restaurant has posted a sign, saying: ""Wanted! Jimmy Fallon. A free meal and drink to anyone who can retrieve our record cover back to us safely." [UPI]
• Tim Roth says he was a victim of child abuse. "It happened during my childhood up to my early teens and although I'm not going to say who it was, he's long gone now — and I hasten to add it wasn't my father or mother. Things happen to you in your life, but you don't want to consider yourself to be a victim — you want to be a survivor and the first thing that helps you do that and helps you get through it is speaking and finding your voice." [Daily Mail]
• WTF: New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick wrote: "You know a movie's got problems when the most memorable thing about it is Sienna Miller's moustache. That growth above her lip is clearly visible in two scenes, once in profile." How is that relevant to the movie (The Mysteries Of Pittsburgh) or her acting? [The Sun]
• Sienna Miller has dropped from number 45 to 202 on FHM's Sexiest Women list. [The Sun]
• Trouble in Kate Beckinsale's marriage? [Daily Mail]
• Jared Leto invited children rescued from a life of prostitution to sit in on a recording session with his band, 30 Seconds To Mars. [Monica Seles is opening up about her addiction to food in a new book, Getting A Grip. [Daily Mail]
• Long-haired heartthrob Fabio wrecked a Ferrari on Mulholland Drive over the weekend. Did you know dude is 50? [UPI]
• The Hannah Montana movie took the top spot at the weekend box office with a fairly respectable $17.2 million. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Why the fact that Sylvester Stallone has Russian heritage is breaking news is a mystery. [Daily Mail]
• Sting and his wife have invited a group of friends on an all-expenses-paid luxury trip to Tuscany to discuss "social consciousness." [Daily Mail]
• Here's a profile of Carla Gugino in which she says: "I was so serious when I was young. My mom would come home and say, 'Carla, stop studying." Or, "The dishes are clean enough.' I felt that to be successful I couldn't drink, I couldn't smoke. But acting taught me to have a life that could feed my work.… I had a happy childhood, but I think it also pushed me to try to create my own sense of stability and made me very intense for my age." [NY Times]
• Singer Cassie shaved part of her head, and it looks cute. [NY Daily News]
• Two of Leona Lewis's cousins have been arrested for allegedly beating up and trying to rob some drug dealers. [The Sun]
• Ooh, a retrospective of Ray Liotta's career. He was so hot in Something Wild. [CNN]
• Bjorn Ulvaeus of ABBA says there should not be a sequel to Mamma Mia: "It wouldn't work." [UPI]
• In this piece, Sir Roger Moore talks about all of his ailments — kidney stones, shingles, low heart rate, etc — as well as his hypochondria. [Daily Mail]
• William Hurt will join the cast of the Robin Hood flick which stars Russell Crowe in the lead and Cate Blanchett as Maid Marian. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Shenae Grimes of 90210 was asked who she'd like to come to the set: "Luke Perry, obviously. I mean, come on! We've all been dying for it. I still am but I may have to give up the dream." [Mirror]
• This sentence means nothing to me, but perhaps others will care: The Veronicas are dating brothers from rock bad Carney. [News.com.au]
• Blind item! "Which troubled starlet is getting over a bad breakup with a member of the same sex? We just hope the latter's current boyfriend doesn't get wind of the girl-on-girl shenanigans!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Trying to do an aggressive sex scene is quite difficult. Especially in a public place with a crowd of screaming extras with their little camera phones going click-click, talking pictures of your pasty white ass. I've had my fair share of bedroom antics in films, but they were a little more private." — Jason Statham. [Page Six]
• "I have made several mistakes and one of them was being overprotective of the girls, which has led to an impression that the school is isolating them from society. The majority of girls are thriving, really fulfilling the dream and vision I had. They really have exceeded any expectations I had for them. In spite of everything that's happened, what keeps me inspired and hopeful is the heart of every girl, because they are wonderful, they are magnificent." — Oprah, who has been defending the record of her school in South Africa. [USA Today]
• "He was in an Easter suit, with the Easter basket and the eggs and everything. Once you've seen Billy in a bunny suit, it's pretty hard to think of Easter in any other way." — Christie Brinkley on ex-husband Billy Joel. [Daily Express]
• "I wish I'd never worn an American flag motif swimsuit to the MTV Awards when I was in the Spice Girls. This was me hating myself and hiding under mountains of make-up." — Geri Halliwell. [Independent]
• "I don't think you ever retire from films - films retire you. Sometimes, if you're unfortunate, after your first film. What happens is you say 'I'm going to retire'. And then someone turns up and gives you this script. So you're not retiring. I don't have my next movie and I'm not looking for one. But someone will give me a script possibly and I'll work again. If someone doesn't give me a script that I want to do, I'll retire. But there won't be a great announcement or fanfare of trumpets. I just won't do anything. I'll stay at home and do what I always do, which is cooking, gardening and writing." — Michael Caine. [Daily Express]
• "I don't care. If I don't get food in my mouth, I'm still happy. If my pants are round my ankles, as long as I don't get arrested for indecent exposure, I'm happy. I'm worried about keeping my hair, not how it's combed. […] I don't know that [my kids have] ever seen Back To The Future all the way through. Just as Parkinson's isn't a big topic of conversation in my house, neither is my career. I go down to my office every day and they say, 'Dad's going to work.'" — Michael J. Fox. [Guardian]
• "Only 1,350 rockers were made, and we sold approximately 70 percent in the first two weeks. The collector's edition photo album has sold more the first week than any book we've sold at Cracker Barrel." — Cracker Barrel's VP of marketing on Dolly Parton's merch, which is flying out of stores. [Reuters]
• "I wish we could have shared a bed/but her life was not her own/That's what happens when you date a girl/from Driftwood Nursing Home." — from Bob Saget's comedy act. [NY Times]
• "What I love about Donna is she's never jaded. Donna can kind of go through anything and she still has that girlish quality about her. I think that's something she'd have at any age. That's Donna to me." — Tori Spelling on her return to 90210. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "It's not like we're not talking, we just haven't talked. I love my mother. I've always loved her [and] no doubt she loves me. There's no feud. We simply never meshed." — Tori Spelling. [People]
• "Chris [Martin] is a huge [Sherlock] Holmes nut. He said to me before filming, 'You've got to be gaunt. You've got to be as skinny as you possibly can to play Holmes.' So every time I'm reaching for a muffin I think about Chris and skip the snack. That's been tough." — Robert Downey Jr. [The Sun]
• "I know what you're saying, but it's not a character like in a book or a movie. He's not a bus driver. He doesn't drive a forklift. He's not a serial killer. It's me who's singing that, plain and simple. We shouldn't confuse singers and performers with actors. Actors will say, 'My character this, and my character that.' Like beating a dead horse. Who cares about the character? Just get up and act. You don't have to explain it to me." — Bob Dylan, in a rare interview. [Telegraph]
• "I knew I wanted to marry her pretty soon [after I met her]. It took a while for me to admit it, because it would be crazy to be like, 'I want to marry you' the first day I met her. But I could have!" — Chris Pratt on fiancée Anna Faris. [People]
• "I found I was really sleepy. I almost fell asleep during a Chris Rock show - live, front and center. I thought, 'I need to have a steak.' You have to do what works for you. Some people need meat." — Rachel McAdams, on why she's not a vegetarian anymore. [NY Daily News]
• "There was a television series that never got made by that woman who wrote that big role for Helen Mirren, Lynda La Plante. They wanted me to play – this is how they think of me – a woman who had been beaten up and degraded. I refused. I'm sure the British would not like to see me in a role like that. No way. [As for the film version of my life,] I hated the script. I thought it would be based on the book and not just made up. I had a long talk with my friend, the actress Carrie Fisher, about it and she said: 'You might think you were degraded enough but believe me, for Hollywood not nearly enough. There has to be prostitution, there has to be murder.' So I took it back." — Marianne Faithfull. [Daily Express]

Observe and Report, which opens today, concerns bipolar mall security guard Ronnie Barnhardt (Seth Rogen), a self-important loser who has a crush on Brandi (Anna Faris), the ditzy makeup counter girl who has no interest in him. When a flasher exposes himself to Brandi in the mall parking lot, Ronnie notices that she is taken with Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta) who shows up to investigate. Ronnie hopes that by solving the case before the real cops do he can land his dream girl and his dream job, a spot at the police academy (despite his inability to pass the psychological test).

Critics weren't sure what to make of the film. Director Jody Hill said the film was inspired by Taxi Driver, and some reviewers tried to rationalize that the film is unapologetically crass and offensive because Hill was making a statement about the dark side of suburban mall culture. Others said the film wasn't funny enough to pull off the satire, so it just comes off as bizarre and tasteless. Below, we take a look at some of the major reviews.

Entertainment Weekly

To [Jody Hill's] credit, he leads Observe and Report down every alley a mainstream comedy is supposed to avoid. The violence is bone-crunching. ... Women are depicted as skanks and slatterns. Ethnicity and sexual orientation are freely mocked. Unrepentant drinking and drugging go unchastised. The flasher flaps vigorously and often - yes, that's a penis I see before me - leading to a chase scene through the mall that makes the naked wrestling set piece in Borat look coy. The result is a crazy mosaic of Americana with tiles scattered and missing. Need I observe and report that the view isn't for every taste? It sure is for mine.

New York Magazine

Observe and Report's Ronnie is a casualty, too-of a broken family (his father is long gone, his mother a prodigiously sloppy drunk), some bad genes (he's on strong psychoactive meds), a gun culture, sexual frustration exacerbated by stacked blondes in short dresses, and the accumulating spiritual effects of working in a mall and eating fast food. As Travis Bickle was a sponge for urban bad vibes, Ronnie is modern suburban mall culture gone freakazoid. Hill hits what seems like a bad-taste peak early on (Ronnie grinding away on top of an ostensibly unconscious alcohol-and-drug-addled, vomit-flecked Brandi) and just keeps climbing. When Ronnie and his second-in-command, Dennis (Michael Peña), embark on an orgy of drug-taking and authoritarian violence against unarmed civilians, the air in the theater feels dangerously thin. Is this a comedy again?

The San Francisco Chronicle

Director Jody Hill, who also wrote the screenplay, maintains a very precise tone by making sure the actors never once behave as though they know they're funny. That Rogen was willing to embrace this approach shows unusual maturity and confidence ... Rogen isn't alone out there. Anna Faris delivers a tour de force as Brandi, the trashy cosmetics counter girl who becomes the object of Ronnie's fascination. They have a date scene in which she progressively becomes more wasted, and it's flat-out hysterical, one of the funniest scenes in months, because it's clear that Faris is grounding this drug-abusing, amoral slut on very slick, detailed comic observation.

Time

Beyond the weirdness [of the date rape scene], if you can get there, is a quick portrait of trailer-park America pursuing its urges by any means necessary. It's clear that Ronnie, no babe magnet, will take what he can get on this night of nights, even if it's not quite the exalted ecstasy he had hoped for; and that Brandi, who's been in this position once or twice before, wants the sexual exercise, even if she's not awake to take an active role in it - somewhere in her stupor, she's feeling a rote rumble of pleasure. The scene achieves what few American movies even attempt: to pinpoint the grim compromise, the desperation, that can attend the sex act. Don't call it love; don't call it grand; but whatever it is, don't stop.

The A.V. Club

Say this for Jody Hill's disturbing black comedy Observe And Report: When it's over, you know you've seen something. Something of a cross between the formalist whimsy of Wes Anderson and the God's-lonely-man psychosis of Taxi Driver, the film breaks all the rules, but the tonal schizophrenia that results isn't an accident. Hill means to unsettle viewers by confusing the fantasies of an overzealous mall security guard with the bitter, down-to-earth reality of his pathetic, unhinged desperation. The trouble with Observe And Report is that Hill tries to have it both ways: He presents a hero who's hopelessly deluded and dangerous, yet he indulges those delusions, too, and turns them into a bizarre sort of wish-fulfillment. In the end, it's hard to know how he feels about the man.

The Miami Herald

Observe and Report conveys an essential truth about Rogen: Like every other actor on the planet, he needs good material to do good work. To be fair, Rogen is sporadically amusing in Jody Hill's remarkably tasteless film as Ronnie Barnhardt, a bipolar mall security guard with delusions of grandeur, especially after he hands over his meds in a misguided attempt to charm a bimbo (Anna Faris). Hill (The Foot Fist Way, HBO's Eastbound & Down) deserves some credit for going so far over the top; you have to admire a guy subversive enough to mock a subject as untouchable as mental illness. Unfortunately the film's humor is a lot like Ronnie's sanity: It comes and goes and isn't there when you most need it.

Salon

The intended point of hilarity here must be that what Ronnie is doing is almost date rape, but phew! not quite. Brandi knows what he's doing, and she's OK with it — because she's really just sort of a sleazy girl to begin with, right? Even if you just write the gag off as a sick joke, it's no fun to see Anna Faris used this way. Dressed in tiny, tight dresses and cheap high heels, Faris' character toddles through the movie with a sour, self-satisfied scowl. The idea may be that Brandi's no nicer — or no better — than Ronnie is, so why not score jokes off her? But anyone who's seen Faris work her bubbleheaded genius in The House Bunny — which really is a subversive comedy — and believes this is a good use of her talents shouldn't be going to the movies, let alone making them. Maybe Hill really is as dim, and as boorish, as his lead character is.

My hunch is that the people who respond to Observe and Report will use words like "risky" and "dark" to describe it. Hill is no dummy: He's playing straight into the audience's desire to be seen as cool and sophisticated. But he's really just pandering to that audience — he's not asking anything more of them than to bow down before his bleak, twisted vision.

The New York Times

Mr. Hill says his movie was inspired by Taxi Driver a self-flattering comparison. Like those of Travis Bickle, Ronnie's delusions of grandeur do end in a paroxysm of blood. Yet while Martin Scorsese might be overly fond of screen violence, part of what makes that film profound and memorable is how the thrill of violence, its seduction, is always in play with a palpable moral revulsion. No such dialectic informs Observe and Report, which exploits Ronnie and his brutality for laughs. This lack of critique might make the movie seem daring. But it's hard to see what is so bold about a film that, much like the world outside the theater, turns the pain and humiliation of other people into a consumable spectacle.

The Los Angeles Times

It turns out that the film's title, Observe and Report, is the credo of mall cops everywhere — they can look and take notes but they can't actually do anything. Put another way, they are ultimately impotent and expendable. Which is not a bad way to think of this movie. It heaps piles of bad, crazy stuff at our feet then walks away. There is no moral to this story, and there's not much comedy either.

Earlier: Is Date Rape Funny? Seth Rogen Explains It All For You

You wouldn't know it from watching the commercials playing constantly on TV, but in Observe & Report Ronnie (Seth Rogen) date rapes Brandi (Anna Faris) after taking her out to dinner, and today, bloggers are talking about it. This is how The New York Times review describes the scene, which you can watch in the final 20 seconds of the trailer above:

In another scene [Rogen] forces himself on a makeup-counter saleswoman after a date of heavy drinking and drug use. (Before the scene is over she indicates that she had given her consent.)

In the scene, Brandi has thrown up on herself and appears to be totally unconscious as Ronnie is pumping away on top of her. He stops for a second, and then she murmurs the line that The New York Times says indicates her consent, "Did I tell you to stop, motherfucker?" before passing out again.

Dan Kois writes on New York Magazine's Vulture blog:

The movie doesn't mitigate that sex scene at all. In fact, it makes it even more clear than the trailer does that when Brandi and Ronnie get home from dinner, she's unbelievably trashed on antidepressants and tequila. Not only does she throw up all over the place, she can barely walk - and she certainly can't give any kind of informed consent. She's way too wasted for her yelling at Ronnie to mean anything.

But Kois doesn't get is that it's a dark comedy. People are so disturbed by rape that the fact that Brandi is too out of it to give any kind of consent what makes the scene so hilarious. Anna Faris told New York Magazine, "It's like date rape - that's funny, right?" Seth Rogen agrees in this interview posted by the Washington City Paper. He says:

SETH ROGEN: When we're having sex and she's unconscious like you can literally feel the audience thinking, like, how the fuck are they going to make this okay? Like, what can possibly be said or done that I'm not going to walk out of the movie theater in the next thirty seconds? . . . And then she says, like, the one thing that makes it all okay:
BRANDI: "Why are you stopping, motherfucker?"

Rogen explains that everyone in the theater then lets out a good long chuckle. See, even though she's probably blacked out and has no idea what she's saying, it isn't rape. (And Brandi's kind of a dumb slut anyway.) In the beginning of the trailer, a flasher is exposing himself to women in the mall parking lot and it looks like he's masturbating in front of Brandi. In this interview Anna Faris says:

It is the most traumatic event that's ever happened to her, which is funny because I always imagined that she's seen a bit of male anatomy and it wouldn't normally scare her.

Women who have many sex partners obviously love penis, so they'd welcome a stranger jerking off in front of them on their way to work.

And if you aren't already laughing at the idea of a pervert exposing himself to women and someone getting date raped, Sady points out on her blog Tiger Beatdown (via Shakesville) that the film will be even more entertaining for women with history of sexual assault. Sady writes:

"The incredible frequency of rape and sexual assault in our society means that many, many victims of rape will see [the movie], and the PTSD that often accompanies rape will mean that, for a joke, for some dipshit filmmaker's attempt at being edgy, they are going to experience all of the pain and psychological trauma associated with that experience, they are going to feel that rape all over again, there, in their seats, in the theater, and they are going to pay for the experience, and if they try to talk about what that filmmaker did to them it's probably going to get sidetracked into some conversation about the Sanctity of Art which is invariably given more consideration than their actual lives."

An Auteur of Awkward Strikes Again [The New York Times]
Does Seth Rogen Rape Anna Faris in Observe & Report? [New York Magazine]
Observe and Report's Date Rape Apologism [Washington City Paper]
Um. [Tiger Beatdown]
Quote of the Day [Shakesville]

The Good:
Seth Rogen and Lauren Miller have gotta be one of my favorite H'wood couples. They seem to really be pals. Plus, I dig her frock.


Okay, maybe I'd have done a nude cami, but I love Cheryl Hines' breezy two-part.


Sol Romero shows the aggressive zipper done right.


The Bad:


Anna Faris is such a pretty, vibrant lady, she almost triumphs over this bizarre trophy wife Cache situation.


From the front, Collette Wolfe's is pretty....


...and then there's the back.


What Say You?
Kali Hawk: bohemian rhapsody, or teenage wasteland? (Yeah, I don't know what that means, either.)

[Images via Getty]

• Rihanna's maybe moving on! But: She was seen getting cozy with Wilmer Valderrama. Isn't that dude bad news bears? He's been linked to Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Ashlee Simpson, Mandy Moore… [Mirror]

• So you know how Lindsay Lohan has a new Maserati? It's already been in a minor car accident. LL wasn't driving — her assistant hit a Subaru in front of them. [Just Jared]
• Is Angelina Jolie on a "crazy" diet called liquid detox? [The Sun]
• WTF: Nadya Suleman has fired the nurse-nannies from Angels in Waiting! She felt she was being judged or something? How the heck is she going to take care of 14 kids by herself? Seriously? [E!]
• Did Jennifer Aniston dump John Mayer over his Twitter obsession? [Daily Mail]
• This one time, Mary-Kate Olsen was driven off the road by the paparazi. "It was never written about,"she says. [Just Jared]
• Designer Rachel Roy has filed for divorce from hip-hop mogul Damon Dash. He co-founded Rocawear but has since been struggling with debt and bad business deals; she has her own line of women's clothing. They have two kids. This should be interesting. [NY Daily News]
• Jesus Luz says he did not cheat on Madonna with some random woman in Brazil: "The press created this story." Welcome to fame! [The Sun]
• Uh-oh: "Madonna's fling with Jesus Luz and her rumored hookup with A-rod may foil adoption plans." An official from Malawi's Ministry of Child Welfare says: "Our official policy is that we do not encourage our children to be sent into broken homes." [NY Daily News]
• Um, this report claims that Jesus wants to adopt a kid with Madonna. Grain of salt. [ONTD]
• Angelina Jolie's mother owes $60,000 in back taxes, despite having passed away in 2007. How do you fix that? [TMZ]
• Diablo Cody and her homies all wear matching necklaces which read "Fuck My Face." Heart-warming! [NY Mag]
• Here is a photograph of Amy Winehouse climbing over a spiked fence and being compared to Sideshow Bob. [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan's former roommate and Tila Tequila's ex-girlfriend Courtenay Semel has checked into rehab. [Page Six]
• Someone blogging as Leighton Meester but decidedly not Leighton Meester likes poetry, goes to a shrink and complains about the paparazzi. [NY Observer]
• Nicole Richie channels Lady Gaga in her pix for BlackBook. [Just Jared]
• Cindy Crawford is naked in the April issue of Allure, with some strategically placed soap bubbles. [The Superficial]
• Jessica "Slimpson"'s body "has now fully returned to its former glory" so you can all relax. [The Sun]
• Geri Halliwell is on a "man-ban." [The Star]
• Another day, another story about Hugh Grant making out with two women at the same time. In public. [Page Six]
• Kim Kardashian couldn't pronounce "philanthropic" at a charity event, and people laughed at her. Tragic! [Gatecrasher]
• Is Fergie heading to Washington to play a private concert for Sasha and Malia Obama? Is this why she is brunette now? Will she teach them to spell duchess with a T? [Gatecrasher]
• Coldplay's Chris Martin met kiddie band The Wiggles, got super psyched and them covered their song, "Fruit Salad." So punk rock. [The Sun]
• Chris Martin can't get Michael Jackson tickets! [Mirror]
• Maybe Chris Martin should bid on this Michael Jackson stuff up for auction? A Swarovski crystal-encrusted white glove could go for a mere $15,000. [NY Daily News]
• Speaking of Michael Jackson, he's invited the stars of Harry Potter to be All-Access guests opening night of his sold-out UK shows. Naturally. [The Sun]
• Anne Hathaway will play Judy Garland in an upcoming film and theater productions of Get Happy: The Life Of Judy Garland. Question is: Will she sing or lip sync? [E!]
• People. For the last time. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are not a couple in real life. Quit asking. Sheesh. [E!]
• But hey! Meet the New Moon wolf pack! Cute teenage Native American actors! [Socialite Life]
• Amanda Seyfried has pulled out of Zack Snyder's film Sucker Punch — described as Alice in Wonderland with machine guns — due to scheduling conflicts. Who should play Baby Doll, the girl in a mental institution in this big-budget action flick? [ONTD via Slashfilm via EW]
• "Syfy" is not a new kind of hip hop from the West coast but what the Sci-Fi Channel is calling itself now. It's also Polish slang for syphilis, so people aren't kidding when they say, "Sick name." [Jossip]
• Denise Richards went to see Charlie Sheen's new twins: "They're amazing." Isn't it nice when everyone gets along? [ET]
• Ooh, recession humor: Amanda Bynes has just signed to an ABC pilot called Canned, a show about a group of friends who are all fired on the same day. [ET]
• Kiefer Sutherland has signed on to play Jack Bauer for an eight season of 24. [Mirror]
• Anna Faris is on the new cover of Self magazine; cover also shills "1 minute abs." Huh? [Just Jared]
• Chelsea Handler's last night show has been extended through 2012. Bring back Russell Brand! [Reuters]
• Oh no: Problems with NBC's Parks & Recreation? Test audiences found it "unoriginal" and "too slow." [Deadline Hollywood]
• Kenny Rogers music helps stroke victims. [Wired]
• This article about Angela Lansbury contains the following sentence: "Ms. Lansbury, who describes herself as a homebody and a working actress, is described by pretty much everyone else as a 'living legend,' a phrase that makes her want to vomit 'a little,' she conceded." [WSJ]
• Blind item! "Which TV heartthrob had to wait until a young starlet's mom walked away before he could hit on her at a party?" [Gatecrasher]
• "This movie was never meant to be the end of Hannah Montana. The thing is, a lot of people put where the show's future lays in my hands — and it's not up to me. It's up to Disney and whether they want more episodes, and we hope that they do." — Miley Cyrus. [Yahoo via Billboard]
• "I had avoided getting married pretty good for, like, 23 years, and I ... secretly felt that men who were married admired me, like I was the last of the real gunslingers." — David Letterman. [People]

• Interesting: Chris Brown and Rihanna are "taking a break." They're not calling it a breakup, though.

Unfortunately, this report has sources close to Brown saying things like, "He's just putting ideas down for some songs he wrote," and "He needs to feel like he's moving forward." We're definitely interested in what he thinks he needs. [E!]

• Rihanna was spotted "flying solo" in New York over the weekend. [Page Six]
• Vanessa Redgrave was seen visiting the hospital where Natasha Richardson is reportedly on life support. [TMZ]
• Friends of Natasha Richardson are in mourning; Ted Casablanca says they have all been informed that she is "brain dead." [E!]
• A Natasha Richardson family friend says: "There is no chance. It is a fact that her heart is beating but she is brain dead." [People]
• Two of Nadya Suleman's octuplets have gone home. Six more to go! [The Insider]
• Apparently the police in Chicago are not amused that Lady Gaga does not wear pants; they stopped the singer, who says, "It was really funny because all you saw was this half-naked girl on the street yelling at some cop 'It's fashion! I'm an artist!' It was fun." [Perez]
• Lady Gaga hearts Prince Harry: "I spotted him last year in a club and couldn't take my eyes off him. British men are cool. I especially love the accent and Prince Harry sounds so posh." [The Sun]
• An artist named Ben Tegel has made an "American Gothic" type poster — called "American Sapphic," starring Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson. LL looks good, but Sam looks sinister. [E!]
• Coming soon to a bar near you: Justin Timberlake brand tequila. [Page Six]
• John Mayer's latest Twitter: "This heart didn't come with instructions." Naturally the papers think it's Aniston-related. [Mirror]
• Joy Behar has been with her man for 26-and-a-half years and may get married! She says: "Somebody that I know lost her partner. They were gay women. And the partner was in the hospital, and she had to pretend that she was her sister in order to really deal with stuff. I don't want that to happen to us … and I also just feel that I want to." [People]
• Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow had dinner with Valentino last night and talked goop all evening. [Daily Mail]
• Madonna will release a fourth greatest hits compilation, because she owes her current record label one more album. [Perez]
• Nicole Richie has launched NicoleRichie.com. You'll find posts about her jewelry line, her charities, her Brazilian blow dry — all while listening to Deep Purple. [Socialite Life]
• An ad for Angelina Jolie's film Wanted was banned in the UK for glamorizing violence. Here in the US, we encourage that sort of thing. [Telegraph]
• Two contestants on Paris Hilton's British Best Friend were screaming at each other and going so nuts a psychiatrist was called in. Apparently there is a shrink on hand "at all times," but shouldn't the doctor be questioning why the hell the ladies are on the show to begin with? [The Sun]
• Ellen DeGeneres will play Mother Nature in a comedy flick written by Sex And The City writer-producer Jenny Bicks. She does really really love animals… [Reuters]
• George Michael played a one-hour performance for a Russian nickel magnate and made £1,606,856. How much is that in rubles? [Daily Mail]
• Sleazy 'N Sync mastermind Lou Pearlman might be in jail, but he's plotting a reality show. Part Charlie's Angels and part Making The Band, "it essentially would feature Lou's disembodied voice on a speakerphone," a source says. Creepy! [Gatecrasher]
• Mena Suvari's image is being used to sell condoms in China without her knowledge. But she looks good. [SF Gate]
• Kimila Ann Basinger — more commonly known as Kim Basinger — is playing a the head of a large family whose perspective on life has been changed by breast cancer. A different kind of role for her, no? [Independent]
• Salma Hayek, Maya Rudolph and Colin Quinn have joined the cast of an untitled Adam Sandler comedy. Salma is Sandler's wife; Maya is the wife of Chris Rock. Yeah. The old goofy guy/hot chick cliché. [Variety]
• Simon Baker has been named the sexiest man on TV. Did anyone see him glisten in the sun in that movie Something New? That was hot. [Mirror]
• Actor Stacy Keach has been hospitalized for an undisclosed health problem. [Reuters]
• What the world needs now: A Goonies reunion. Seriously: Goonies never say die! [The Sun]
• Blind item: "Which hip-hop icon gets laughed at when he strips down at the gym? Guysin the locker room can't believe it's that small." [Gatecrasher]
• "It's hard to know what the rule book is for guy friends. Girls call their friends girlfriends. You'll never hear me say, 'My boyfriend Paul Rudd and I were working together.'" — Jason Segel, whose "bromance" flick, I Love You Man, is opening Friday. The back and forth between Rudd and Segel in this interview is pretty funny. [USA Today]
• "I went crazy for the script. I was going through a phase where I was turning everything down. This gem landed. I finished the last page and called my agent. It was a rare gem." — Clive Owen, on Duplicity. [USA Today]
• "I'm embarrassed on almost a daily basis. You sort of have to suck it up sometimes. [Fans] say stuff like, 'You're so much shorter in person Or 'Oh, my god, you look just like that girl, but you are a lot prettier than she is.' You have to grin and bear it. I might say in return, 'I know I looked skinnier in The House Bunny, but thanks to my diet of beer and doughnuts, I'm back to my fightin' weight!'" — Anna Faris, to Self. [People]

• Alan Cumming thinks that our new President, Barack Obama, has a large, ahem, unit:

"I think great leaders, charismatic leaders and men who are so confident and who have achieved so much, usually have big penises,” Cumming tells New York. "I think there’s a correlation between the level of confidence, the level of the way a man can hold a room and the way he conducts himself in life, with his penis size — with his comfort with his penis size. So much of male psyche is taken up with how big your cock is; it’s a huge deal in our lives, and so when you’re confident about your penis size, it shows. Well, just look at [Obama]. Just the way he’s so kind of elegant and very confident in his body and himself. Also, someone told me that they worked out with him in a gym in Chicago, and it was big." [NY Mag]

• Naomi Watts talks about her ex-boyfriend Heath Ledger in Parade magazine: "When I got to the set and did that first scene with him, I was like, ‘Wow! This guy is alive.’ It was just something deep in his eyes. You could look into them, and they would tell a thousand stories in one glance. There was a wonderful mixture of power and fragility at work in everything he did, which just pulls you in. His strength didn’t scare you. It intrigued you. And his fragility touched you." [MSNBC]
• Jessica Simpson performed yesterday in Charlottesville, Virginia, and referred to the kerfluffle over her body: "Thank you for your support," she told the crowd. "Stay positive, and pray out loud! Please remember, no matter what you go through in life, somebody else might have it harder. So just appreciate. I feel like in our world today we focus on so many things that are completely pointless." Word. [People]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: Madonna and her kids are moving to the U.S. [The Sun]
• And! Her Madgesty will add another leg to her Sticky & Sweet tour, heading to the U.K. and Europe this summer. [Reuters]
• Renee Zellweger was not a VIP at Barack Obama's inauguration — by choice. "I wanted to be part of it and not in a celebrity way, where you're ushered into your safe place," she says. She listened to the ceremony from a barricade on First Street, next to a blind lady. [USA Today]
• £15,000 worth of stuff was stolen from Amy Winehouse's home — flat screen TV, guitars, recording equipment. Amy is still in the Caribbean, but is said to be "devastated." A source says: "Some of the guitars are irreplaceable due to their sentimental value." Hopefully they stole her crack pipe. [The Sun]
• So you know how a stage manager stole from the fashion closet of Lipstick Jungle? He also robbed Brooke Shields! "[He's] the same guy who stole my wallet out of my dressing room last season, right out of my purse!” Shields says. "He’s not very bright, because the purse was worth more than the wallet." [Gatecrasher]
• Traders on the Hollywood Stock Exchange are betting on Sex And The City 2. [WSJ]
• Anna Faris is engaged to actor Chris Pratt, who was on Everwood and The OC and currently plays Anne Hathaway's fiance in Bride Wars. Good luck, kids! [Us]
• Director Danny Boyle and producer Christian Colson have issued a statement denying that Slumdog Millionaire exploited two child actors: "Boyle and Colson said the kids were enrolled in school for the first time after filming, and a fund had been set up to cover their education, as well as their basic living costs, health care and any emergencies. If the children stay in school until they are 18, they will receive another lump sum." [Variety]
• In this interview, a man whose 7-year-old daughter appears in Slumdog says the filmmakers "are taking complete care of my child." "Whatever a parent could have done, they have done much more than that." [AP]
• Ugh, more Slumdog problems: In Mumbai, the flick is not exactly drawing people to the cineplexes, because people don't understand the title and rampant piracy means some have already seen it on DVD. [Reuters]
• Faith Hill is glad that Jennifer Hudson will sing at the Super Bowl: "I believe to come and perform the national anthem, which is this country's favourite song, at a time that our country is stepping up and moving forward for future generations - I think it's just the perfect choice." [The Star]
• Why did Bruce Springsteen — after being asked several times — finally agree to play the Super Bowl half-time show? "It was sort of, well, if we don’t do it now, what are we waiting for? I want to do it while I’m alive." [NY Times]
• Very unlikely duo Bob Dylan and will.i.am will both appear in a Pepsi commercial during the Super Bowl. How does it feel? To be on your own, like a black-eyed pea? [Reuters]
• Penelope Cruz says that Woody Allen is not sleazy, and only makes pervy comments to make people laugh: "On set he would say something completely wild and I would say, 'I can't believe those words came out of your mouth!'" Allen, she says, is "very peculiar – but I love him." [Guardian]
• Tom Cruise's flick, Valkyrie, was beaten at the box office in Germany by Twilight; and in England, Slumdog Millionaire crushed the Nazi flick. Valkyrie cost between $90 and $100 million to make and $50 to $60 mil to promote, but has grossed only about $83 million in the U.S. Not bad, but not the comeback Cruise was hoping for at his new studio. [Fox 411]
• James Brown's family will go to court today, hoping for a settlement regarding the late singer's estate, after two years of drama. [USA Today]
• Khloe Kardashian and Rashad McCants of the Minnesota Timberwolves have broken up. Khloe writes on her blog: "Relationships are hard enough as is when you live in the same city, and he's in a different city everyday for games." [Khloe Kardashian]
• Lil Wayne had to remove a song, Playing With Fire, from his hit album, That Carter III, due to a copyright suit: The track had melody and lyrics from the Rolling Stones' tune, "Play With Fire." If you go to iTunes, the song will have vanished. [WSJ]
• ABC has picked up a comedy, Let It Go, starring Lauren Graham, in which she plays a talkshow host who is dumped by her boyfriend and can't follow her own advice of "letting go." [Variety]
• Mike McCready from Pearl Jam, who suffers from Crohn's disease, is lobbying Washington state lawmakers to give people with gastrointestinal disorders more bathroom access. [AP]
• If you have $5.2 million, you can buy the former home of John Edwards and his glossy hair. [WSJ]
• More proof that the '90s are back: Jane's Addiction is planning a spring tour. [Gatecrasher]
• And more proof the '90s are back: House Of Style will return to MTV! Possibly with Bar Refaeli or Chanel Iman as host. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which baseball heartthrob may be playing for the other team? He secretly slides into bed with Florida fellas." [Gatecrasher]
• Is Ellen Barkin's new TV show — in which she plays a woman "famous for her high-profile marriage, who divorces and re-enters the single market" kinda like her actual life? [Page Six]
• Did Eliza Dushku brag about killing deer, elk and other animals? Apparently she said it was okay for her to hunt because she eats what she kills. Guess who's pissed? PETA. [Page Six]
• Jessica Alba has a bow tattooed above her crack. [The Life Files]
• "With the internet you can fight back. If someone has written something unjust, wrong or has offended me, or offended a friend, then that’s it. The other day Perez Hilton wrote that I was a lazy arse and I should give up on my record. Today, my single is No1 in the midweeks and I am on tour, working really, really hard. And his job is sitting at a computer all day. How can he call me lazy?!" — Lily Allen. [The Sun]
• "Being a nun now makes total sense. I wouldn't do it for Jesus - I would do it to see tabloid gossip people have zero to write about. 'She prays all fucking day - what are we going to write about now?' " — Lily Allen to Spin. [Page Six]
• "I used to pester my mother to have another baby when my father was still alive. She ended up having an eight hour operation to unblock her tubes and things like that. The operation was a success but my father died while she was having it, so it was really ironic, terrible timing." — Kate Beckinsale. [Daily Express]
• "We're planning a home birth, but it might be a Grammy birth! Eating a hot curry could make me go into labor, so imagine what getting on stage with Jay-Z, Lil Wayne and T.I. would do. Everyone's been very understanding." — M.I.A., who has been nominated for a Grammy and an Oscar, but is due the night before the Grammys. [WSJ]
• "If I'm not coming up with something I get very upset and start questioning it all. 'I can't get it out. I'm not worthy of the money I'm getting paid. There are people who are so much better.' I really beat myself up." — Lily Allen, on her writer's block. [WSJ]
• "I’m upset because I feel disrespected by the press and by Mr. Rourke. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean that you can take advantage of me. It’s unfair that the performances (in The Wrestler) might suffer because of all of these distractions. I'm not attracted to him, he's too old for me. Nothing ever happened and nothing ever will." — Evan Rachel Wood, on the rumors she was making out with Mickey Rourke after the SAG awards. [MSNBC]
• "I have a crush on Jimmy Carter. I admit it. He has an extraordinary mind. He's an exceptional human being. And he writes poetry, for crying out loud. He's all good things." — Renee Zellweger. [USA Today]
• "I’VE MADE SOME GOOD CHOICES AND SOME MISTAKES… I’VE BEEN LOVED AND HATED…. I’VE BEEN HAILED AND RIDICULED… I’VE BEEN INVITED TO SHOWS AND AS USUAL ASKED NOT TO COME… I’VE BEEN ATTACKED FOR BEING ME… FOR BEING BRIGHT RED IN A GREY WORLD…. I AM NUCLEAR ENERGY." — Kanye West, in an email to Rolling Stone. [Rolling Stone]

• Holy Xenu! Katie Holmes looks freakin awesome on the cover of T: The New York Times Style Magazine. She claims she is not the pawn of Tom Cruise: "There's a misperception about me that I just became this wallflower, this woman who doesn't have any control of her life. "And that's pretty wrong. From the very beginning, I've made choices in my life that have been very strong." Plus: "When I met Tom I was completely in love and, yes, I admired him growing up — he's Tom Cruise! When I met him, he was so warm and I thought, Wow! You can be a superstar and a human being. He made me feel so amazing." [People]
• Another glamorous shot of Katie, and one of Tom Cruise, from T Magazine. [Pop Sugar]
• Amy Winehouse has "escaped" from her hospital bed and went to a recording studio and a friend's house before returning to the hospital "in the early hours." Sneaky! [The Sun]
• Alex Rodriguez speaks! About his relationship with Madonna! "We're friends – that's it. I've been to two [of her] concerts, yet I've read that I went to 20. I've also read that we were buying an apartment together. That is absolutely ridiculous and not true." [People]

• ¡Caliente! Rumor has it Shakira will perform at Barack Obama's inauguration in January. [Perez Hilton]
• Boy George: Found guilty! He falsely imprisoned a Norwegian male escort after a nude photoshoot, and will be sentenced January 16. [Yahoo News, Mirror,
• The escort told the court that Boy George yelled at him: "Fucking whore! Now you're going to get what you deserve." Guardian]
• Apparently Jennifer Aniston went on Oprah and talked about an Obama cake that she'd made? John Mayer says: "Jen and I made that cake together. She didn't really give me any credit for that cake. I was the architect on that cake. I put a lot of my time in designing that cake. I was a good man. I shared the process. From mixing to frosting….[she] took all the credit." He adds what seems to be a lame joke: "There's some trouble but we're getting over it…We're having therapy everyday in Brentwood…and we're figuring this out because that was my time to shine on Oprah." [Perez Hilton]
• Speaking of Oprah: Contrary to reports, her show may not end in 2011. "I'm not done!" she says. "I'm a very multi-dimensional woman. I can do a show. I can have OWN [the Oprah Winfrey Network]. I can have a magazine. I can do radio." You tell 'em! [UPI]
• Beyoncé's on the cover of Elle and admits that having a kid scares the crap out of her: "I'm terrified of having a child," she says. m terrified of delivering a child because I saw my nephew being born. That traumatized me. I'm only 27. I've got time." [People]
• Jennifer Hudson, who has been in seclusion since members of her family were killed, was nominated for four Grammys on Wednesday. She says: "It's been a childhood dream of mine to release an album, so to receive four Grammy nominations is truly a blessing. I am extremely honored and humbled by the nominations." [AP]
• George Clooney has a crush on a waitress. Also: The sky is blue. [The Sun]
• By the by, Clooney just raised £10 million for the victims of Darfur at a fancy London party. Guests included Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson, Cindy Crawford, Sarah Ferguson, Bono and Guy Ritchie. [Daily Mail]
• Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes movie is disrupting residents of one street in London, and they want to reduce the number of days he can shoot there. They'd also love it if Guy would give them some cash. [Daily Express]
• Kate Moss is throwing a party to announce that she is pregnant?!? [ONTD]
• David Duchovny and Tea Leoni were spotted taking their kids out for frozen yogurt in New York and being lovey-dovey. It seems they may move into a new apartment together this month and are "working on" their relationship. [Star]
• If you care to see the impossibly sunny, blonde, annoying pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt on their honeymoon, go ahead and click, you will not be judged. [Just Jared]
• Spencer is pissed that Heidi's mom is "furious" about the wedding and says he won't visit the in-laws for the holidays: "After that statement, the Pratts, as in Heidi Pratt and Spencer Pratt, will probably have their own Christmas tree out here," he says. Of course, all of this seems to be part of the "script" for The Hills. So. [E!]
• Shia LaBeouf had to drop out of a new film because "his hand is totally shattered, it’s much worse than anyone thought." He needs more surgery, you guys. [Fox 411]
• Was The House Bunny a hit? Anna Faris is "capitalizing" on it by lining up two new projects; a female buddy comedy and a romantic comedy. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Amy Adams will star in the film adaptation of the novel The Ten Best Days Of My Life, about a woman who dies and goes to heaven, but has to prove her worth by recounting her 10 best days. [Variety]
• The National Board of Review has named Anne Hathaway 2008's best actress for Rachel Getting Married; Slumdog Millionaire was best picture. [People]
• No one wants to live in the SoHo loft where Heath Ledger died. Even if you have $26,000 a month, you can't rent it now — it's temporarily off the market. [TMZ, Page Six]
• Heather Locklear was on The Tonight Show and admitted that she had a tough year. But! She has a sense of humor about her pill-popping DUI bust. "I've been better, but I'm good today," she said. And when Jay Leno asked if she would have done differently this year, she joked: "I would have stayed in my house." [People]
• Grey's Anatomy fans can find out a big secret about Denny's "afterlife love affair with Izzie" by clicking this link. [EW]
• Blythe Danner made oral sex jokes at a cocktail reception in honor of the Bruce Paltrow Oral Cancer fund. She lost her husband to the disease six years ago. [WWD]
• Miley Cyrus is not divorcing her parents, but if she did, it would be a lot easier for the 16-year-old to date a 20-year-old underwear model. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Jim Carrey, Spike Lee, Amy Poehler, Twilight's Kristen Stewart, Richard Gere, Zooey Deschanel, and Ashton Kutcher are among the stars with flicks in the Sundance Film Festival. Will there be a breakout indie hit this year? [USA Today]
• Former SNL star Rachel Dratch is in a musical, and it might go to Broadway. "It's about a burlesque club the cops are trying to shut down," she says. "It has crazy burlesque dancing and clever dance numbers. I'm not in them, I just watch." [NY Mag]
• Cops are looking for 2 people in the shooting of Mark Ruffalo's brother, though a motive has not been released. [AP]
• Bob Dylan's room at the famed Chelsea Hotel in New York: Destroyed. Sledgehammered and ripped up, in the name of renovations. [Gothamist]
• Someone is suing Dixie Chicks singer Natalie Maines for defamation, and it has to do with the 1993 murders of three boys. [AP]
• Kathy Griffin tried to smooth things over with Clay Aiken, whom she called Gayken in her standup act, way before he came out, and she claims: "I would have to say he was not very nice." [E!]
• Some dumb paparazzi asked Robin Williams' daughter Zelda why her dad wasn't partying with her: "You don't take an alcoholic out to a club," she explained. Also, why would she be clubbing with her dad? [TMZ]
• Rocker Joe Satriani is suing Coldplay, accusing the band of plagiarizing one of his songs. [Yahoo News]
• David Hasselhoff's ex wife: Kicked out of the Hoff's house. By a judge. [TMZ]
• The Real World: Brooklyn is coming to MTV January 7th. The "strangers" living in the house are an Iraq war veteran, a former beauty queen, a hip hop dancing hippie, a punk rock Mormon, a dolphin trainer, a computer geek, an abs model and an advocate for victims of abuse. Good luck! [MTV.com]
• Not a joke: Pete Doherty will replace Pete Townshend in The Who. For one night only. For charity. [The Sun]
• Did you know that before Madonna was cast in Evita, Michelle Pfeiffer had the role? Click to hear her sing some demo tracks. [ONTD]
• Erik Estrada must love being, not just playing a cop: He'll be working the night shift at the Muncie Police Department in Indiana this week. [USA Today]
• UK's Channel 4 is poking fun at the death of Princess Diana? [Daily Mail]
• RIP Paul Benedict, also known as Bentley from The Jeffersons. [AP]
• "I was separated from my dad for most of my life, but we forgave each other for whatever had happened. It’s huge for me. He’s been the most supportive dad. No matter what has happened, he’s always been there. And especially right now - he’s been so great. He really helped me out." — Evan Rachel Wood, who reunited with her father over Thanksgiving. [Perez Hilton]
• "I knew I wanted to marry Kate when I met her. After our very first date, I was sure. At one point, I thought she was going to ask me to marry her first and I cut her off by changing the subject. I wanted to ask her." — Tom Cruise in T: The New York Times Style Magazine. [People]
• "I've been recording in between periods of romantic torture, which is the concept of this album. Writing these songs has been my saving grace. I have felt in the past like a marionette. This album is my freedom. When you're in love, you've found your soul mate, you think life is going one way, and suddenly it's completely apparent it's not. You have to rethink your whole purpose." — Scott Weiland on his solo album, Happy In Galoshes. [USA Today]
• "Our behaviour is changing. Look at how we re-use and recycle. I want to see people at movie premieres wearing outfits they’ve had for 10 years." — Sigourney Weaver, on how Hollywood can cope with the economic crisis. [Daily Express]