• On the heels of reports that Going Rogue confirms there was tension between Sarah Palin and John McCain's aides during the 2008 campaign, Ann Coulter says, "Wow, I hope she pays them back in this book, and I can't wait to read it. No, I mean, McCain — he was the media's favorite Republican. So, any criticism his side made of Palin was instantly printed, and now we finally get the payback. And I'm looking forward to it." • Palin will visit Fort Hood next month as part of her book tour for Going Rogue. She planned the visit before last week's shooting, and a representative from the base called her and said she should still make her planned appearance on December 4. • The British government has proposed a ban on people under the age of 18 using tanning beds to reduce the risk of young people developing skin cancer. It was reported today that in some areas of the U.K. up to half of all girls aged 15-17 are tanning, which doctors say significantly increases the risk of malignant melanoma. • In February, Jen Ivers will become the first female student to participate in the Mr. Yale contest. Ivers prefers to dress as a man, is openly gay, and doesn't identify as a man or a woman. Her residential college overwhelmingly voted for her to represent them, but initially the college rejected her application. Yale claims it was a miscommunication and a rep says, "It'll be really cool and unique to have her compete." • Scientists from the University of California tested the pain threshold of 25 women in various situations and found that they didn't hurt as much when their romantic partner was holding their hand, and experienced even less pain when just looking at his picture. Researchers say the person's picture brings up pleasant thoughts, but when they're actually in the room they may be upset that their partner is worried about them. They recommend patients bring loved ones' pictures to painful procedures. • Jill Berry, president of the Girls' Schools Association, says that schools should tell teenage girls that they don't need to beat themselves up if they decide to take time off from their future careers to raise children. ''They will need to realise that there may be times when they might not want to work, or they might want to take a lesser job because their priorities have changed. It is important that they leave school at 18 with their eyes open," she said. • Kirsty Moore, who became the first woman admitted to Britain's Royal Air Force display team, says she hopes her position will make girls "think that this is something they could be part of and they should go for it." • Caster Semenya says after the international controversy over her gender, "People want to stare at me now. They want to touch me. I'm supposed to be famous but I don't think I like it so much." • Oreo, the dog who was nursed back to health after her owner threw her off the roof of his six-floor Brooklyn apartment building, was killed today by lethal injection. After Oreo's owner was convicted of animal cruelty many people offered to adopt her and pay for her medical care, but the A.S.P.C.A. said she was a danger to the public because she was "unpredictably aggressive." Supporters had requested that the organization delay the euthanization and negotiate the dog's transfer to an animal sanctuary. • No African country has developed a program to give the cervical cancer vaccines to girls, even though 71,000 of the 500,000 who are diagnosed with cervical cancer every year are from Africa, and 78 percent of cases result in death. Professor Lutz Gissman, one of the researchers who discovered the virus said, "If you can persuade [African] girls to get a vaccine shot, the problem will be drastically reduced in the next 10, 20 years." • Police are hunting for a Brazilian blogger they say posted the names of 300 people who are cheating on their partner in the small rural town of Lagoa da Prata on Orkut. "This is not a very nice joke – for people to say that your boyfriend or your husband is a cuckold," says one woman whose boyfriend's name was on the list. "I don't really know what to say to people." • Police arrested a Florida man who repeatedly called 911 and made sexual comments to the dispatcher, asking to come to her house. There's a perfectly reasonable explanation: He told police that he'd run out of cell phone minutes and 911 was the only number he could call. •

Writes Marcus Jokela, the study's author,

Having your study publicized by the media is nice. Having your study misrepresented and misinterpreted in the process is not. The media coverage of my paper on physical attractiveness and having children had a bad start and even worse follow-up. The origin of the problem: Times Online news article sexing up the finding a bit too much (I wasn't interviewed for this article at all and heard about it only after it had been published). Then things got worse with other journalists copying & slightly modifying the Times Online piece...The main point of the study was to see whether attractiveness predicts fertility in a contemporary American population, not whether people are becoming more or less attractive over time.

And, he says, any larger evolutionary truths people derived from this were mere extrapolations. What's more, certain details were glossed over: that it was actually the second-most attractive women who scored highest, and that the study wasn't limited to women - attractive guys also had more kids, according to the finding. God, these scientists! So factual! Overall, Jokela's response is a pretty handy takedown of the media's handling of the findings scientists approach so precisely, and of the absurdity of that snowball. This should serve as a good reminder to all of us - yes, us too! - to take the time to read the source material and pay these researchers the compliment, at least, of reporting what they say accurately - even if it's not as fun. (Writes Jokela: "And please, do not refer to me as the "Ann Coulter-loving scientist", I hadn't even heard about the lady before the headline." Okay.)

‘Women Are Getting More Beautiful' - Getting The Story Right [Markus Jokela]
Put Away Your Sneakers, Ladies. "Beauty Race" Is A Myth [Salon]
"‘Women Are Getting More Beautiful' – Getting The Story Right" [Feminist Law Professors]

Related: Ann Coulter-Loving Scientist Says Women Are Getting Hotter

I loved the campiness of this whole package, including this still, used to illustrate how catty women can get when they're irrationally stating facts in public.

This was my second favorite part:

Earlier: What's More Important: Rape In Congo Or Hillary's Bad Hair Day?

This is a question I've been wrestling with since the last election cycle showed an implosion of the Republican party. While a lot of my early mentors leaned a bit right, the Republicans have shown less and less of a desire to be the party of small government and fiscal responsibility, and more of an inclination to embrace as much hatred and bigotry that they can find.

As I laughed watching the GOP blatantly pander by promoting Michael Steele (probably trying to trade on some of that "Barack the Magic Negro" sparkle they thought was falling from Obama), and cheered when Christopher S. Buckley decamped from the GOP, I still felt a twinge of sadness.

I strongly believe that we need at least two viable political parties to have a constructive dialogue about governance in this country, and that has not been the case for a very long time.

Meghan McCain seems to agree. Through her blog and her columns on the Daily Beast, McCain has been trying to steer the party away from the demagogues and back toward relevance. She strongly calls out pundits like Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter who trade in intolerance:

To make matters worse, certain individuals continue to perpetuate negative stereotypes about Republicans. Especially Republican women. Who do I feel is the biggest culprit? Ann Coulter. I straight up don't understand this woman or her popularity. I find her offensive, radical, insulting, and confusing all at the same time.

McCain is right to express bafflement - the personas that Coulter and Malkin use to promote themselves and their work are inherently sensationalized, valuing sound bytes and screaming over thoughtful, reasoned arguments.

Sometimes, the rhetoric is so ridiculous, I start to think that maybe Ann Coulter is just making all of this up:

Okay, so maybe it didn't happen like that. However, Ann Coulter is so over-the-top it is difficult to find any semblance of argument within her rantings and distortions. If she admitted this was all for publicity, it would be a relief. Examining Michelle Malkin's work doesn't provide much more to work with - after all, someone who wrote a tome defending internment during World War II in order to justify using racial profiling in the wake of 9/11 is obviously ready and willing to overlook inconvenient things (like facts) to make a point.

McCain's columns, by comparison, tend to be a breath of fresh air. In a very basic and personal way, she explains some of the key components of the GOP platform and explains why she embraces (or, in some cases rejects) these planks. Her discussion of the divide between Dems and Repubs focuses mainly on age and religion. But, she did speak out against Audra Shay titling her piece "Do NOT Elect a Racist," noting, "She represents the same old stereotypes about "young Republicans"-apparently racist and more middle-aged than youthful. In short, disconnected from the real youth of this country."

I suppose "the real youth" didn't show up to vote - Audra Shay won the election, putting yet another nail into the Republican coffin.

McCain herself seems to recognize this, often questioning is there room for a moderate in her party of choice. As she ends her latest piece against Michelle Malkin, she notes:

It's true that Democrats make being a member appealing in a much different way than the Republican Party does. The Democrats seem to have mastered inclusiveness-whereas Republicans, like a country club, seem to require a litmus test. But if people like Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter think they can bully me into giving up this fight and what I am doing, they are going to be severely disappointed. And I can assure them that unless they start being realistic about the cultural and generational differences between the two sides of the party, there will not be a new generation of Republicans.

Is Meghan going to be the future? Her assertions in her piece are correct. She does represent a clearer vision of the youth in this country than anyone currently ranking in the Republican party. And she does pwn Michelle Malkin on Twitter - Meghan has 53,664 followers on Twitter, versus Michelle's 25,897 (which may, as she states, be a better indicator of demographic clout that the New York Times bestseller list.)

But if we have seen anything over the past eight years, then we know that the Republicans aren't really interested in understanding the times.

As Christopher Buckley wrote in his send off note last fall, "to paraphrase a real conservative, Ronald Reagan: I haven't left the Republican Party. It left me. "

Meghan, your party has left you.

Perhaps it's time stop trying to reform the old and look at creating something new.

My Message for Michelle Malkin [The Daily Beast]

Related: Barack The Magic Negro [Wikipedia]
My Beef With Ann Coulter [The Daily Beast]
Do NOT Elect A Racist [The Daily Beast]
Sorry Dad I Was Fired [The Daily Beast]
Screed: With Treason, Ann Coulter Once Again Defines A New Low In America's Spiritual Debate [Spinsanity]

Of Palin, Laura Bush said,

Well I think that's just something she needed to determine and she did. And, you know, everyone has to respect the decision she made. She, like a whole lot of people, other people that get into politics, find out it's a great big world when you get in the politics and, um, I wish her the very best.

You too can achieve such blandness, and many other fun speech effects, with the many Republican translators below.

Laura Bush

In order to talk like the FFLOTUS (which in Welsh means, "a breakfast dish made with cod"), simply replace every concrete noun with an abstract noun. Then, replace every adjective with something positive, yet vague. Here's an example:

English: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Laura: The terrific wonderful thing jumps over the great idea.

For extra verisimilitude, deliver all statements with a glazed-over, faraway expression, as though staring at a point three feet behind your interlocutor's head.

Sarah Palin

The Sarah Palin translator is a little more complicated. First, add to each sentence a metaphor or simile that is entirely unrelated to the topic at hand. Next, add at least two superfluous prepositions or helping verbs. Finally, include a mention of an Alaskan animal. And obviously drop all the g's. Observe:

English: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Palin: The quick old salmon is doin some jumpin over that lazy grizzly bear over there, like a point guard stealin a snowmachine from a Cheechako.

Lindsey Graham

In Grahamese, all sentences begin with a disingenuous expression of support, and end with a condescending question. To whit:

English: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Graham: Now I like you, you hear, but I have to tell you that the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog, do you understand that?

Ann Coulter

Leave everything the same, but add something horrifically offensive as a parenthetical aside.

English: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Coulter: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog (who is stealing from hard-working American dogs, and deserves to be put down).

Finally, in the manner of "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County," we'd like to translate Laura Bush into Sarah Palin and then back to Laura again.

Laura Bush: Well I think that's just something she needed to determine and she did. And, you know, everyone has to respect the decision she made. She, like a whole lot of people, other people that get into politics, find out it's a great big world when you get in the politics and, um, I wish her the very best.

Sarah Palin: Well I've been thinkin that's just somethin she's going to be needin to determine, like a majestic moose bleedin to death in the Alaskan sunrise. And, you know, every grizzly bear out there has to be respectin that decision she was makin, because that's what separates the glaciers from the pitbulls. She, like a whole lot of other people in this great country of ours, other people that have been gettin into politics, find out its a a great big hockey rink when you get in the politics, and, ya know, only the dead fish makes the basket.

Laura Bush: Terrific.

FFLOTUS Defends Palin [The Page]
Laura Bush Talks About Sarah Palin on Fox News [The Page]
Laura Bush, Part 2 [Fox News]
Laura Bush Gives Michelle Obama A Thumbs-up [Houston Chronicle]

According to the Times of London, University of Helsinki researcher Markus Jokela has found that attractive women (those rated in the second highest quartile of hotness) had 16% more children their less attractive peers, while very attractive (top quartile) women had 6% more. The Times couples this with previous research by evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa (author of, no joke, Why Men Gamble and Women Buy Shoes: How Evolution Shaped the Way We Behave), which found that good-looking parents were "26% less likely to have sons." If true, I guess this would explain Sasha and Malia. Kanazawa says,

If more attractive parents have more daughters and if physical attractiveness is heritable, it logically follows that women over many generations gradually become more physically attractive on average than men.

So is this true? Let's look at Jokela's study first. Feminist Law Professors points us to the abstract, which says the study was conducted on "1244 women, 997 men born between 1937 and 1940." Feminist Law Profs also reports that the basis for attractiveness was yearbook photos from the 1957 graduating classes at Wisconsin high schools. But people on average married earlier in 1957 and they do now, and had children earlier, so whether you were "hot in high school" may have had much more to do with your "reproductive success" than it does today. The study didn't track the women's attractiveness as they got older, nor did it study women from later generations, who may have had more options to confound the purported link between attractiveness at age 18 and popping out lots of kids.

Now to Kanazawa's study. At least one statistician has called his numbers into question. Razib at Gene Expression links to this critique of Kanazawa's work, which states that if you do the math right, the most attractive parents in his study had "an 8% higher rate of girls," and that the 26% figure "cannot be interpreted in the way suggested in the paper." "This is particularly unfortunate," says statistician Andrew Gelman, "since 26% was the number reported in the press."

Razib also points out that the idea of women getting more attractive over time is complicated by the constant presence of mutations, and that attractiveness difference between the sexes would likely be very slow to emerge, if it emerges at all. But perhaps the most disturbing thing about Satoshi Kanazawa is not his flawed research, but his politics. From an editorial in Pyschology Today (published during the 2008 primary):

Here's a little thought experiment. Imagine that, on September 11, 2001, when the Twin Towers came down, the President of the United States was not George W. Bush, but Ann Coulter. What would have happened then? On September 12, President Coulter would have ordered the US military forces to drop 35 nuclear bombs throughout the Middle East, killing all of our actual and potential enemy combatants, and their wives and children. On September 13, the war would have been over and won, without a single American life lost.

Yes, we need a woman in the White House, but not the one who's running.

That's right — if only we'd had Ann Coulter instead of Bush in the White House, the world would be a better place. But the real question is, who's hotter?

Women Are Getting More Beautiful [TimesOnline]
Are Women Getting Better Looking? [Gene Expression]
The Science Of Sexism [Feminist Law Professors]
Physical Attractiveness And Reproductive Success In Humans: Evidence From The Late 20th Century United States [Evolution and Human Behavior]
Why We Are Losing This War [Psychology Today]

Palin's particular brand of absurdist theater was in fine form, especially in her anti-gun-control sentiments:

you're going to see anti-hunting, anti-second amendment circuses from Hollywood and here's how they do it. They use these delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets, they use Alaska as a fundraising tool for their anti-second amendment causes.

Is she warning Alaska against Miley Cyrus? (Actually, Ben Smith thinks the "starlet" in question might be Ashley Judd, who narrated an ad attacking Palin's record on wolf-hunting.) There's plenty more where that came from — but there's also something more disturbing than sheer silliness at work in Palin's speech. Check this out:

And first, some straight talk for some, just some in the media because another right protected for all of us is freedom of the press, and you all have such important jobs reporting facts and informing the electorate, and exerting power to influence. You represent what could and should be a respected honest profession that could and should be the cornerstone of our democracy. Democracy depends on you, and that is why, that's why our troops are willing to die for you. So, how 'bout in honor of the American soldier, ya quite makin' things up. And don't underestimate the wisdom of the people, and one other thing for the media, our new governor has a very nice family too, so leave his kids alone.

This kind of anti-press guilt-trip (when you "make things up," you hurt our troops and our children!) isn't new, but Sarah Palin has become a poster child for the idea that no criticism is substantive criticism. Everyone who says something bad about her is attacking her, and not just her qualifications or her experience, but her family, her patriotism, her America. She's careful to say she's talking about "just some" in the press here, but Sarah Palin's basic refusal to engage with people who disagree with her makes her destructive to any sort of shared national discourse. Watch her respond to a heckler at about minute 7:30 of the second part of her speech. She says:

Now, people who know me, and they know how much I love this state, some still are choosing not to hear why I made the decision to chart a new course to advance the state. And it should be so obvious to you. (indicating heckler) It is because I love Alaska this much, sir (at heckler) that I feel it is my duty to avoid the unproductive, typical, politics as usual, lame duck session in one's last year in office. How does that benefit you? No, with this decision now, I will be able to fight even harder for you, for what is right, for truth. And I have never felt like you need a title to do that.

Palin sees anyone who questions her resignation as "are choosing not to hear it" in her, because to anyone who actually heard her, the decision would be "obvious." Obvious because ... she loves Alaska! And because no more politics as usual! Yeah! Watch her bask in the applause at the end of this particular bit to see her in her element — people who don't question her, because she has no real response to those questions. All she can do is criticize the questioners themselves — as inattentive, immoral, or un-American.

On CBS this morning, Ann Coulter called Palin "an amazing speaker," and it's true that she's extremely good at working a crowd — especially if she's serving them hot dogs, or, as David Frum points out, $1,200 oil-money checks. But Frum counters that she's a "divisive" force that could lead the Republican party to "ineffectiveness" in government, and I've never agreed so wholeheartedly with a Republican speechwriter.

The Awl's Alex Balk says of Palin's final official tweet, "this is the most direct, clear, and comprehensible statement she's ever made on the microblogging service." And the message — "Last state twitter. Thank you Alaska! I love you. God bless Alaska. God bless the U.S.A." — certainly makes more sense than anything she's ever said about bears. But what it basically displays is one of Palin's two great skills: pandering to her base. The other is deflecting criticism by making it seem unfair. Neither of these is what we need in a leader. David Frum says it's "impossible" that Sarah Palin could win a presidential election in 2012. Let's hope he's right.

Sarah Palin's Farewell Address - Full Transcript [AKMuckraker]
President Palin 'Impossible' [CBS News]
Sarah Palin Train Choo-Choos Into The Sunset [The Awl]
Never Before... [Politico]

Today's Mad Lib is brought to you by Olivia St. John, who thinks Sarah Palin needs to join "her conservative sisters nursing babies at home," and Neil Lydon, who thinks that now that we have synthetic sperm, feminists want to get rid of all men.

Something overwrought adjective happened today — something that will shake geographical location (the bigger the better) to its core. Person (such as a woman, a scientist, or, for bonus points, a woman scientist) announced something seemingly innocuous. Women are trying to take over the world!

For evidence, we need only look to totally non-credible source:

"Men su7#@k!" says a commenter on large, poorly moderated website, such as YouTube.

"All women should band together to enslave their male inferiors," says writer of obscure 1950s book.

If these influential voices are not enough, consider today's bankrupt culture, in which women any verb that is not "gestate" and men any verb that is not "hunt," "conquer," or "bludgeon." In which woman (bonus if not remotely a feminist) can independent act, yet Ronald Reagan is allowed to die!

As the Bible says, verse (bonus points if it mentions submission, Eve, or the Virgin Mary; minus points for Mary Magdalene). And as ill-defined group such as "some people" have warned, vague alarmist statement.

What will happen to the men of the world if these weird, outdated term for "women" are allowed to take control? What will happen to our values? The only solution is for women like female public figure who is not Ann Coulter to get back in the small, restrictive space so that they can return to euphemism for breastfeeding and men can return to euphemism for bludgeoning.

Triple bonus for including the words "hoar-gnarled," "flibbertygibbet" and "womb."

Synthetic Sperm Brings Mad Feminist Dream A Step Closer [The First Post]

Earlier: Conservative Scribe Is Thankful Sarah Palin Is Headed Home Where She Belongs

The last time O'Reilly sparred with a woman over Tiller, that woman was Salon's Joan Walsh, and he memorably told her she had blood on her hands. This time, Ann Coulter is blood-thirsty. Although her calling left-wingers "pro-death" (least mature reclaiming of language ever) is a highlight, the real nadir of the interview comes around minute 1:50, when she says of Tiller's assassination:

I don't really like to think of it as a murder. It was terminating Tiller in the 203rd trimester.

When O'Reilly argues that in fact it was a murder, and that murdering abortionists is actually a bad thing that should be punished (this the only time will actually take O'Reilly's side in an argument), Coulter says, "I am personally opposed to shooting abortionists, but I don't want to impose my moral values on others." She adds, "Their logic [meaning evil, blood-on-hands, "pro-death" leftist logic] says if you don't believe in abortion, don't get an abortion. If you don't believe in shooting abortionists, don't shoot an abortionist."

It's no surprise that Coulter makes no distinction between a fetus and a grown man with a family. Really, it should be no surprise when Ann Coulter says anything insane or inflammatory at this point. However, it doesn't seem very rhetorically effective to slam "pro-death" logic while excusing Tiller's death as a "termination." Isn't "termination" something good conservatives are supposed to abhor? It's supposed to be satire, we guess, but it might work better if Coulter seemed like she was ever compassionate toward anyone. Casting liberals as heartless just doesn't fly very far coming from her. Then again, maybe she's just there to make O'Reilly look good.

An equally strange part of the interview, though, happens just before minute one, when O'Reilly and Coulter agree that people on the right haven't been talking about Tiller's death enough. Coulter's explanation: "I'd like to think it's because they're hungover from the hurray-George-Tiller-is-dead party, but I think that's not it. I think people don't like talking to abortion." Leaving aside the "hurray-George-Tiller-is-dead party" (at which we're sure Coulter was the guest of honor), on what planet do conservatives not like talking about abortion? This one? This one? The one where Kansans for Life arrived at Tiller's clinic at 6:30 every morning to place over 150 crosses outside the fence? Or maybe the one where Operation Rescue just held a memorial service for the fetuses Tiller aborted, less than a month after his death? Whatever world Coulter and O'Reilly are describing, with its "pro-death" liberals and its sober, compassionate conservatives reluctantly discussing abortion, it doesn't resemble reality.

O'Reilly hosts Coulter to discuss the "reaction" of "the left-wing media" to "our reporting" on Tiller [Media Matters]
After Tiller: What Will Happen In Wichita? [NPR]

Earlier: Bill O'Reilly Shows Why "Abortion Reduction" Isn't Really Pro-Choice

• Well, not really, but Mr. Spacey is reportedly on deck to play jailed, bribe-loving lobbyist Jack Abramoff in an upcoming movie, despite what Spacey thinks might be a size differential between the two men. [Politico]

• So, it turns out that the CIA was already getting ready to torture people before the Bush Administration came up with its tortured legal analysis allowing it. [Washington Post]
• Obama's National Intelligence Director tried to stick a line into Obama's torture report that torture did yield some important intelligence, though he notes that it also fucked us over in a myriad of other ways. [NY Times]
• Unsurprisingly, our torture methods were derived from ways U.S. soldiers were tortured and from anynumber of fascist dictatorships that we deplore — and not a single Bushie thought to look that shit up. [NY Times]
• Obama says we might, indeed, prosecute some Bushies if we can. [CBS News]
• Congressman John Conyers is all over that shit. [Huffington Post]
• The documents that Cheney says he requested so he can prove we got some intel from torture? The CIA says he never asked them... [Politico]
• ...but that's 'cause he asked the National Archives. [Plum Line]
• You won't find memos from Condi's former top advisor Philip Zelikow, who was in opposition to torture, because the Bush Administration destroyed them all. [Huffington Post]
• Meanwhile, Kathleen Sebelius' nomination to be Secretary of Health and Human Services has finally made it out of committee. [Washington Post]
• Sean Penn still has stupid political opinions about Hugo Chavez. [Huffington Post]
• Ann Coulter missed the memo that it's not cool to make fun of Hillary Clinton anymore. [Media Matters]
• San Francisco Mayor and same-sex marriage advocate Gavin Newsom is running for Governor of California; think he'll have a veneer-off with the Governator? [Politico]

McCain continued her attack on divisive Republican tactics at the Log Cabin Republicans Convention last night, noting that she feels "many Republicans want to cling to past successes. There are those who think we can win the White House and Congress back by being 'more' conservative. Worse, there are those who think we can win by changing nothing at all about what our party has become. They just want to wait for the other side to be perceived as worse than us. I think we're seeing a war brewing in the Republican Party. But it is not between us and Democrats. It is not between us and liberals. It is between the future and the past." As for Coulter, McCain calls her "overly partisan and divisive."

Meghan McCain: 'Old School' Republicans Are "Scared Shitless" [HuffingtonPost]

• A new survey suggests that fathers are better at giving driving lessons than mothers, who tend to panic, while dads just swear. • Brazilian researchers have found that among teenage girls, there are alarmingly high rates of STDs that often go undetected. • The BBC has an amazing video of a monkey teaching its young to floss with human hair. • More monkey news: zoologists have found that monkey tantrums should never go ignored. • From the Institute of No Shit Studies: men in their 60s drive the most powerful cars. • A Miami evangelist claiming to be the anti-Christ has gone into hiding following a court ruling to pay his ex-wife $2.2 million. Wonder if Satan will help him out of this one. • Some asshole put his wife up for sale, describing her as "Nagging Wife. No Tax, Not MOT. Very high maintenance - some rust." He says he was shocked that he received several offers. • The Hijabi Monologues, a little known play about Muslim women who wear the headscarf, is currently showing in LA. • A little over a year ago, Wajeha al-Huwaider made a pledged to get the Saudi ban on women driving lifted by Women's Day 2009. Sadly, the ban is still in place. • The man who threw his shoe at our esteemed former President has been sentenced to three years in prison by an Iraqi court. • This is not exactly news to any American college student, but the American Dietetic Association has found that 58% of "kid cereals" are actually being consumed by adults. • Sad: a survey of Boston teens found that nearly half of them believe Rihanna was responsible for Chris Brown's assault on her. •  Could Coulter's reign of terror be coming to a close? Ann Coulter's new book Guilty isn't selling nearly as well as her others did. • 

Whoopi — who, as you'll remember, threatened to beat up Coulter last week — referred to Coulter's left-hating persona as "an act," and went on to tell her that she was personally offended by Coulter's sentiments about single mothers in Hollywood. Sherri actually sounded like the most even-toned, well spoken woman of the bunch when she asked Coulter if she has an compassion and ever does anything to correct the "problems" she identifies (like talking to young girls about the importance of birth control), instead of just judging all the time. But instead, Ann wanted to complain that she was "attacked" in an earlier segment before she was on camera, alleging that Barbara read aloud from her book as though it were Mein Kampf. Ironic, since she's always going on about "victimization." Sherri put her back in her place, though, when she told her she didn't like how she was speaking to Babs. Joy's face during the entire thing, btw, was great.

Earlier: The View Meets The NY Times, Talks Cruise, Coulter & Cantone

There's a reason that "serious" political minds and critics mostly ignore Ms. Coulter — performance artist or not, after a while, there's just not much to say. That said, one of the most enraging aspects of seeing Coulter is not that she slings stupid shit right and left, but that no one in the media seems to be able to effectively shut her down. One the one hand, you have CBS's Harry Smith, whose patronizing, above-it-all tone yesterday morning didn't do him — or Coulter's critics — any favors. On the other, there's Matt Lauer, who is more than willing to get into the ring but, once there, throws a few anemic jabs but seems unwilling to deal the knockout blow. Is the reason why no one in the male-dominated, mainstream broadcast media effectively dismantles Ann Coulter due to the Sarah Palin problem, i.e. the fact that Coulter — despite tired old jokes to the contrary — is a woman? Because if so, I think most of us can agree that critics' darlings Campbell Brown, Rachel Maddow and especially single-mom Katie Couric need to stop posing for pretty pictures and intelligently, calmly, rip c-nts like this a new one.

Earlier: Ann Coulter Admits She's Just In It For The Yu(c)ks
Why Is The Word Cunt Still Such A Big Deal?
Rachel, Katie & Campbell Are In Vogue

... and that Obama is not really at that much risk of assassination.

In her new book, Guilty: Liberal 'Victims' and their Assault on America, Coulter attacks Obama's wardrobe, noting: "Her obvious imitation of Jackie O's style - the flipped-under hair, the sleeveless A-line dresses, the short strands of fake pearls - would have been laughable if done by anyone other than a media-designated saint." Cindy McCain, however, gets the Coulter stamp of approval, because she "dressed well without freakishly imitating famous First Ladies in history." Well thanks, Ann. Because if there's anyone who should be giving fashion advice, it's the woman who shows up to every event ever in the same damn little black dress from 1987. Oh snap! [NYDailyNews]

“Pre-Palin it had been one race," Coulter writes, "boring old 'You kids get off my lawn!' John McCain versus the exciting, new politician Barack Obama, who threw caution to the wind and bravely ran as the Pro-Hope candidate. And then our heroic Sarah bounded out of the Alaska tundra and it became a completely different race. This left the press completely discombobulated and upset. They didn't know whether to attack Sarah for not having an abortion or go after her husband for not being a sissy.”

Coulter, who refers to Palin as "our beauteous Sarah," also notes: "The last woman to get liberals this hot under the collar would have been … let's see now … oh, yeah: Me!" She then added, "Me, you guys. Remember me? I was the one who used to annoy you the most before Sarah Palin came along and...hey, wait, I have more annoying to do! I have 16 more little black dresses in my closet that I haven't broken out for interviews yet! Wait! You used to hate me the most! ME! Come back, filthy godless liberals! My circuits will short out without attention! Come back!" Okay, not really. But you know she was thinking it. [Editor And Publisher]